Varsha Alimchandani's Blog

Even if we leave man and woman aside for a moment- has anyone ever witnessed equality?

A: Embrace gender equality.

B: But how do I embrace the non-existing? A: Isn’t life difficult already? Not all men are same #notallmen.

Look at the glass half full!

B: But how do you see the glass half full without noticing the glass is half empty?

While Embracing equity- to be fair if not too real-- we need to look at both sides; don't we?

So, I embrace,

I embrace I am not missing - because today I am not daughter of a poor person

I embrace being educated- because today I am not in a small village

I embrace I can walk without a chaperon- because I am not in Afghanistan

I embrace being alive- because I was not aborted like my unborn sister

I embrace being loved as a kid - they always played with me the touching game.

I embrace I am not pregnant- because I am not in the US fighting for abortion rights.

I embrace I am pregnant - because my husband wouldn't abandon me

I embrace that I can choose to remain unmarried - because constant questions and induced guilt isn't making me give in yet.

I embrace that I can at least work - don't worry, I am not unrealistic to expect equal pay.

I embrace that I can write or publish- because my work is not burned by some men.

I embrace I can dress “within certain range” - because I am not in Iran

I embrace that I can go out once a week- because that way there are less chances of my family’s “respect” falling out of my pocket.

I embrace that I get to travel with my friends occasionally - so what if it is a huge debt to be reminded of every now and then.

I embrace that I can donate or get blood- because I am not a trans-woman.

I embrace I am not raped till now- because I was raised to not cat-call the men.

I embrace I am not ugly- because that is the prominent quality for women to live a happy life.

I embrace that I can drive- because I don't have a brother to default that right first.

I embrace that I can cook - because that is what saves relationships.

I embrace that I do not have to pay dowry- because I am in denial

What more would I want to embrace?

I embrace that I can open a bank account

I embrace that I can vote

I embrace that I have my own passport

I embrace that I can participate in Olympics

I embrace that I can own a property

I embrace that women are given the space to perform today.

I truly am grateful to the women before me who gave me this life.

While there is so much to embrace about my glass half full and glass half empty.

Being a woman, any woman- that might not be privileged as me or even more privileged; womanhood is all about having a glass.

They threaten us- Just be grateful that you have a glass!

So, we walk with this glass all our lives- carrying a fragile glass.

We keep holding it since we are born- we are “girl child” – we are constantly protecting the glass.

Always carrying our cracked, scratched, and bruised glasses.

They are like a voodoo doll which can take away our whole life in one instant.

We live with this constant anxiety and fear and indignation – Even as simple as walking on a road, at work, at home- sleeping- awake-

We breathe the anxiety and pain of being a woman- ALL THE TIME.

Why hate us for having a voice if all we are doing is overacting?

Why judge us for having dreams and choices and courage at our own expense?

While we embrace having this glass- do not moral police us because we have managed to fill a little water in it.

Do not call your daughter what you wouldn’t call your son

Don’t disrespect your mother when you would think ten times before disrespecting your father

Do not contribute or condition yourself to see your wife, female colleagues, sisters, or female friends as less intelligent, more vulnerable, or designated responsible caretakers than your male counterparts.

Do not control or disregard them.

I would want to not be hated for embracing the “benefits of being a woman” stated above.

Do not fill the glass if you can’t- but then leave it to be.

Do not create more labels or invent new names for these “spoiled non-marriage material women”— There are already enough labels for us that we are trying to wash off our skin.

There are more labels for us than there are bones in our body.

To watch the video performance of the above text, please visit https://youtu.be/mK23S1Bw1K8

Growing a liver at your garden takes a few days

Making it a functional liver is beyond possible

Truth needs to be held by two sides

Without validation, truth is merely another statement

All facts are statements and any statement can be a fact

Mustard is a color, a seed, a dressing, also a clothing brand, an oil or a plant.

Rain is not always around, but bathrooms have rain mist setting

In the dark night, the most loving bug holds onto the soil

And crows reward one another with flocks while they feast on bugs

Being a moral crow alone is like being a baby left alone, only to be eaten by a flock.

Organic apples are priced higher than normal apples,

and they need a special tag to be carried for it.

The organic apple has crisis of its contents;

Its existentialism.

The soil of its roots; The sunlight it's leaves were penetrated with;Or the external pampering enforced by humans;

Nothing can be segregated anymore.

Organic apples' existence has higher purpose and authority than normal apples;

The weight of power and the risk of falling from higher shelf;Moral and truth is a burden bigger than that of a lie.

It takes only a few hours to make someone falsely believe in and confess to committing crimes they didn’t actually commit.

Memories of committing crime with police contact can be surprisingly easy to generate, and can have all the same kinds of complex details as real memories.Read more: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/people-can-be-convinced-they-committed-a-crime-they-dont-remember.html

Sun

Moon

Raindrops

Life cycle

Food cycle

Weather cycle

Utilization cycle

Earth

time

Energy cycle

Are all endless circles

The more zeros after a number means more of some priority.

But without a man, circular cycles merely seem useless to his imagination.

Drive by a concrete road leading towards a flyover across the sea, do you recognize the laborers who built it day and night with hard-work for two meals a day?

It never occurs to you to think about this, even when you see more than one labourer on the job as you pass by a road being built.

In your eyes, they are some poverty-stricken people who could not do better with their lives and you lack hope for them.

These workers believe they are building roads that will benefit millions of people. They are doing remarkable work with their skillset and eye for detail. In addition, they are contributing to their communities in an outstanding way. They are the unsung heroes behind connectivity in the city, leaving behind their imprint on this world.

They gaze up at the flyovers that arc above the city with the shiny eyes, and their generation of children strive to make their parents immortal by sharing fragments of family dreams. It is as if they are the pillars to the bridges reaching for the sky.

This dream makes them stand in that scorching sun and work; unaffected by dust, sweat, pain and thirst. As their privileges exceed that of a beggar and are less than those of a middle-class man, they have a chance or a fear of going one way or the other.

Salvation emerges from a hollow heart, constrained by its inability to survive alone in this cruel world. He finds hope through alliance with a greater power. A purpose that gives him a name, enables him to feed his family, brings value to this world and gives him immortality symbol even when he is gone.

Dreams always remain incomplete, whether one day you wake up or not.

This is humanity. This is the story of every human in this world.

Babies and elders do not have control over their situations and minds.Isn't that a great news for them?

Situations that overwhelm us and the parts that we have managed to keep together, parts that allow us to be accepted by society of sane - slowly start falling apart in enclosed rooms.

All the wisdom and philosophy are put on hold when life happens. We spend millions on therapies and psychologists only to cover our scars band-aids.

Our knowledge of drugs and diseases does not spare us from pain. Infact, knowing something increases our fear towards it.

We merely control our perspective to life, as a constant self-preservation from disease, pain, poverty and ultimately dying. It all comes down to this constant repressed terror of death, all of human life structure revolves around self-preservation. Ironically, we are anxious of the things we know.Repression is hiding something from yourself, at some corner - that doesn't work!We stick to ideologies, society and construct a personality in public to prevent our true emotional states from showing and to self-preserve even more anxiously. We all are so neurotic. In fact, the psychotic is the one with total confrontation, because he cannot hold it together anymore, he is less neurotic than us in a sense. He is finally free.

We control life in would, should, could, ifs and buts in our minds. The truth is life happens in "is".

They say a thought is formed in our brain much before it is executed, and then we create a description of the reality that has happened the very moment it has passed by.

This change of perspective also explains the uniqueness of life within life and also alternative parellel reality.

But like transcendence of nothingness, transcendence of orgasmic pleasure and transcendence of spiritual attainments, there is transcendence in near-death experience.

There is great transcendence in pain, so much pain where you lose all the human part of you, you surrender to the unknown, numbing you at the same time as you feel the absolute. You cannot think of anything in that brief period of pain, controlling is out of question.How truly sublime would it be to finally be free from yourself?

A glass wall made from opaque tooth

And those with even more opaque eyeglasses

Both to see in clarity

All the effort to keep the pest in control,

from making the home weaker, warmer, dirty and dangerous.

So the disasters are part of pest control methods,

but somehow pest never learn their place.

They then invent vaccines more powerful than the new disaster itself

Somehow walking hand in hand.

Trees and their leaves, petals, butterflies, water streams, raindrops, birds, clouds, sunrays, shades of the sky, insects, wet soil, sand, rainbows, dog fur and to many more landmarks are included in the earth map now.

The idea of measure comes from what is believed to exist before, the image in mirrors builds up on the previous image struck.

Red pipes indicate hassle or unwanted waste material,

a red worn by bride is equally hiding something.

Eyes are magic mirrors, the shade of red changes for what comes across

The magic doesn’t go away even when faced with a fixed mirror

The calculative mystery yields a random and totally believable result

The secrets told in confidence are simpler than stories portrayed openly.

A broken branch of tree for any reason shows hidden core patterns, while rest of the branches keep carrying the bark.

One gets to know their neurotic tendencies while judging others'.

People often wonder how horrible person can have such good long lifeSometimes the naivest person who deserves all the love, meets fate of endless misery

Sometimes a hardworking skilled person keeps struggling to make his ends meetSometimes a nobody can sit on an empire.

Sometimes a mistake is scrutinized and given death penaltySometimes a homicide is forgotten and buried away

And people often wonder if karma exist out of fantasy

How does all the love and favor loses its way

Rights and wrongs loves many costumes. Costumes of certain era, funeral costumes, war costumesCostumes to wear in Rome and Costumes to wear in Africa Folk costumes and Worship costumesCostumes to cover face and Costumes to show part of breastsCostumes to brighten and Costumes to blend

The endless shades and alters of Gods that change makes.A hand that gives and takes. A mind that sleeps and wakes.Passion for fantasy now asks for reality checkLover of surrender wants to dissect the served plate

Lacerations to some, to cover some.A cloud that rains above, and a lightning that chooses.

Earth holds all

War spares noneLove doesn't reasonGuilt doesn't shrink

Hate doesn't stand alone

Paradise defines elusiveDefinition is not unique

Hell doesn't surpass earthly death

,Image source: https://www.educationsolutionpc.com/2...

When Sigmund Freud said “Sexuality is Everyone’s Weakness and Strength”. How much of it was from male perspective?

Throughout history and cinema, two versions of men are celebrated. Fuckboy and Majnu.

Either commitment phobic or suffocating, unavailable or too available to erase your existence.Incarcerating few and ruling the rest, The King!

Men are connecting women to power, same way in which animals are at mercy of humans.

A man thinks before teasing somebody’s wife.

Because she is property of someone, and there might be consequences.

Difference between a married and unmarried woman is like a dog with or without leash.

Which explains how men were raping and killing anybody they set their eyes on in history.

But do you think the society has evolved and women are safe now?

Despite the laws and the safety assured to women, why does a woman’s heart beat fast when someone starts following her on the road?

Why does she call a friend and narrate what is happening with her? Why does restlessness come to her so easily if she can confide in safety?Does she believe in protection, let alone justice from sexist - so called laws?

Brain does not differentiate between the thoughts of imagination in your mind, something happening in your dreams or in real.It generates similar trauma of living in the fear constantly. The subconscious fear of being conscious all the time because you are a breathing woman!

What has really changed by normalizing this "woman-anxiety"?

This whole world becomes part of order, which creates fear.

The way cats are scared of dogs, women are of men

Men of richer men

Rich men of more powerful men

Equality just cannot exist!

It comes down to power and order

Whoever has more than another will always use it - ego is such.

Tribes are replaced by organized religion, why?

The reason why all the major religions survived over Paganism because it gave power instead of equality.

Where is the trace of equality in us then?

If men are always thinking of raping the woman they see, competing with each other.

If women are always thinking of saving themselves from being disrespected at each and every minute of their day?

Women striving to have a better man who will save them from being raped.

Because come on, how many poor man’s wives are not under threat of crimes?

Poorer the powerless!

Has philosophy really saved us from this misery or has philosophy has created an illusion of goodness?

So many middle to old aged men touch women in public, make vulgar actions, or flash their dicks?I have 20 incidences happened to me that I can remember of vaguely.

Don’t these men go to their daughters or wives as loving and naïve old fathers?

I know there is some good in the world

Some people who actually help

Some men who repress the thoughts of raping

Some women who support other women

But doesn’t this good again come from fear of reputation or fear of karma or fear of God or fear of law?

Doesn’t the order come there too?

"Not all of us" does not prove anything, because if it were true since longest of time, women would not still be commodities and men would not still have basic privileges' over them.

If no fear of being disrespected or raped exists If no toxic ego, desire to possess or desire to exploit existsIf equal opportunities and "one as all" is true,Why would constitutional marriage even come into picture?

and Why would marriage be the paramount thing ever to a woman's life!Read this quick article on origin of marriageSo, what is a good person and what is an evolved humanity?

Good and evil is a hoax, a controlling agent. The person who assaulted you today goes and donates certain amount or saves somebody from fire, will become a good person.Killing is crime, but wars are heroic.Time, power, order, perspective, action and reaction, law etc. changes that we are good or bad person.

What does the famous song “Oo antava” say?

Played like a flute by animalistic desires, equality respect truth justice and decency cannot be acquired or enforced.

A person does not change, and a person cannot change without fear. Fear is the mother of change.

We all have secrets thoughts, a hidden basement where we live, holding us like roots hold the tree, like a puppet moves and lives in the show.

And Freud might agree when I say that, we do not differ from animals, driven by food and shelter,

eventually leading us to the biggest architect of humanity - order of sex and sexuality.

The human body is a fundamental machine. Once our basic needs are met, we are fit to go. Our instincts and primal human needs are what keep us going.The human race is also so complex. Our layered behaviors, triggers, and personalities are the result of our childhood traumas, incidents, upbringing, societal segregation, financial class, and even our past lives. Most of these complicated unconscious thoughts or behaviors emerge when basic needs aren’t met. Some of these basic needs are food, shelter, sleep, boundaries, freedom and love.When we see how the earth, which we were given as a home, has been divided and hijacked, and that there is a price to pay for using resources, and be certain someone to be allowed to live.Slowly everything starts feeling unfair. Unfair becomes the new normal. Each of us were once a helpless child and still continue to be. We realize not only earth and its resources, but even our bodies and identities are not rightfully ours.

It slowly dawns on us that choice, justice and morals are clouds.Overwhelmed, we return to our basic needs, dare we not be grateful for what we have?Survival of the fittest becomes out motto. Making life a battleground and reaffirming ourselves as victorious survivors assures us that we will prevail.When basic needs are threatened, the surviving machine flips and malfunctions.Whoever threatened it, threatens it, or could potentially threaten it, humans can create or use any weapon they like.

Divided by cast, religion, gender, country or race are united by humanity. The humanity of insecurity, greed, power play and violence.

Skilled Victim and victimizer keep the coal burning.Human loses himself and solaces into depression.Or he exploits whatever he can to fill his needs. Either way life is traded for living a life.When someone is exhausted from struggling to meet his basic needs, he doesn't have time to think about everything else that is beyond his immediate reach.

So, they say eat first, fill your stomach when you are angry or depressed. Maybe you will not argue or cry at all.So, they say satisfy yourself sexually, before you head to commit adultery or violence. Maybe you will not have to do it at all.Whether our basic needs are not met or they are met too much, there are side effects. Both draught and flood kills. Fill desires and emotions, but just near enough. Make sure there aren't too many for someone like you.

The grass was placed, so were the crops, trees and plants

to keep being useful

bearing more fruits

and to keep looking younger

to grow in the designated place

they were also pruned timely for their growth!

A waste of space if they just lived for themselves

and mere abnormal

soon the space needed to be clean

and safe from unnatural growth

which may manifest diseases otherwise

There was a red flower, plucked one after another,

the plant would keep producing,

it had to, for proving being useful,

or the threat of being discarded or forgotten was high.

At first, pesticides and fertilizers seemed too much,

but now the plant couldn’t live without them.

Afterall, it deserved some support while being useful all the time.

But there was always a competition with other flowers

even one yellow leaf would cause distress and self-loathing

A disease broke that would just not be controlled

nobody knew that the cause was a pesticide reaction

so they kept spraying more and more

very soon flower couldn’t be produced

Thrown away with no hope of being “saved”,

Finally, the plant took a few breaths for itself.

You touch the smoking hot water or ice-cold water, because you don’t believe what your eyes see, you run to your senses for confirmation. It is your senses that give you pain or soothe, and you believe it to your heart all your life. You walk with it and you recommend it. A turn comes where you find the comfort, you find the right human, with a lot of caution, with a lot of burns, with a lot of wasted time. This person brings out the best in you, you call it third love, and you begin to rationalize all the past experiences that failed you. There comes a day when this person just changes his or her whole personality, all the reliance beneath your feet collapses like an earthquake. Your life crumbles and then you say that you never saw it coming. You have endured many earthquakes, but this time you curse yourself more.For looking for a permanent home, for wishing to be human, imperfect, and still hold the ground, hoping to be deemed worthy of being held.The ground shakes, along with all the weight of your love, it wants to be understood and relieved. But you cannot get over the pain of your home being shattered to pieces. In spite of your tears, you give it the benefit of the doubt, and you attempt to rebuild your home, because how many times have you not repaired every corner of it? Because someday when you are shaken and lose yourself, you would want someone to give you an ear too. If you could be understood that you haven't always been this way, and this is not who you are, you would want that chance so badly. So you love, with very less hope and very high hope. You cannot tell if you would win or lose big without investing, you do it anyway. You don’t even believe in your senses anymore; you call it fate. You don’t believe in gravity anymore. Yet it pulls you again. You hate your senses. You hate yourself for feeling. But you are too stubborn to just live in any house. A part of you bleeds and bleeds but does not die. Piece by piece you trade yourself, to find brick by brick of how you want it to be. You offer the dust that builds up every day, despite how much you cleanse. You wish but a small patch of ground for yourself, every time you run and hold it, it secures you.

But why the ground was ever obliged to hold you back?The home you built never was identical, because you never trusted your eyes. There was no faithfulness from your pain- no one believed it - no one remembered it.Yet you held it so close, you lived it every time.For your life, you remained loyal to it above all else.

While you looked for the ground, you found it everywhere and everyone you touched. Because you looked for the pain there, and you chose it carefully. While you planted and watered it, it outgrew and crossed your boundaries, Your walls were penetrated and loosened, entire structure was threatened.

You ran, you ran for your life, when it all collapsed, dark and cold, every part of you engulfed, you hid. You sheltered where you could not see anything in the darkness, but all you saw was darkness. You wished to fall asleep and didn't have to wake up anymore. You tried and tried but you never slept well. Sleeping or not, you were unable to wake up to reality.