Allan Hands's Blog

My epic tragicomic novel MIRRORED SWORD is now 'out there', slowly gathering reviews. The average star ratings as at 10 May 2022 are as follows:

Part One at amazon.uk 4, amazon.com 3.5, goodreads 3.8

Part Two at amazon.uk 5, amazon.com 4.5, goodreads 4.5

Parts One & Two at netgalley 4, goodreads 2.8.

Early days yet! I'm still feeling out ways to promote the book. I've tried Facebook ads but that costs a lot. Amazon ads are cheaper but harvest fewer sales. I'm disappointed with the reception so far, even if it's early days. I have spent all my life studying literature, and I know that the book has all the hallmarks of a classic. A five stars average would be appropriate. The trouble is, I wrote it as hard copy, and people don't buy expensive hardcopy from unknown authors. Meanwhile, it doesn't translate very well to digital formats like kindle or epub.

Why doesn't it translate well to digital formats? Because it is a big story, almost 800 pages in paperback, and the dimensionless nature of digital books like kindle simply doesn't prepare people for a long read. I tried sidestepping that issue by dividing the story into two parts, but that just shifts the problem, because Part One ends in the middle of the story, and that annoys some people.

There are some other reasons for the less than stellar reception. Firstly, Part One represents the viewpoints of 8 different characters. It reduces to just 2 characters in Part Two, but the reading public isn't used to a multi-viewpoint structure, even if it is right for these postmodernist times. Secondly, the header (which helps the reader identify whose viewpoint is represented on any page) is unavailable in kindle and epub. Thirdly, my copy-editing skills suck and I had to unplug the book from the market several times to fix errors. Losing momentum is not good for selling books. Fourthly, I suck at marketing.

Meanwhile I'm getting on with my next novel, set in ancient Greece, which I hope to finish late next year. I'll avoid the problems I created for myself with my first novel, and I'm sure MIRRORED SWORD will get discovered more easily if I make a great job with the next book. However, I don't see any point in writing novels that don't push boundaries. Books that don't aim to be original are like fast food: not very nutritious, even if they sell like hot cakes. So, I'll be taking risks with my next book too.

I got a pleasant surprise yesterday and so did 380 other people—the number of those who went away with a free copy of my book, Mirrored Sword Part One. They are some of the many friends and supporters of OnlineBookClub.org, a group that supplied me all day with truckloads of good vibes and kindnesses, an unusual experience with complete strangers in social media! That’s what they do. They are book lovers, in sync with an organisation that mediates between readers and authors.

I also sold 12 copies of my other book, PART TWO, and I’m sure that many of those gifted with PART ONE will end up buying the second in the series. It’s a great story. Then again, I am aware that no book can ever be everyone’s cup of tea, and this was very apparent yesterday when I found myself on two of Amazon’s TOP LISTS of free books. One was in the category Humour and the other was in Medieval Historical Romance. My book is a tragicomic epic. It has elements of humour and it has elements of romance but it also has much more besides, and oh how lonely and out of place it looked in the midst of all that pulp fiction! Here is a sample.

So, now I am wondering if it is worthwhile handing out so many free copies of my books, if the books end up landing on high profile lists where they clearly do not belong, and where they are unlikely to find satisfied buyers. Then again, I encountered so many nice people with nice things to say yesterday, I might try the experiment again.

You can grab one of my books at Amazon using the buttons below. Part One is still free for a few days and both Parts are priced as low as possible for most of April: just US $1.00 or £0.77 each.

Phwizz, whoosh, BAM, zip, titta titta titta, BANG, BANG,

KABOOM!

“Why the fireworks?” says a busybody.

“I’m celebrating,” Allan explains while lighting a Catherine Wheel.

“What are you celebrating?”

“The OnlineBookClub has started promoting my book BOTD.”

“You wrote a book titled BOTD?”

“No, Mirrored Sword Part One—it’s Book of the Day.”

“So why should I care?”

Swissa-swissa-swissa-swissa

“The book is FREE on Amazon—it’s part of the celebration.”

“Thats a pretty Catherine Wheel!”

“It’s won’t last long and neither will Book of the Day. Get it while you can.”

“What else?”

“Part Two is only US $1.00 and that won’t last long either.”

Phwizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

“You’re right, the Catherine Wheel fizzled out all too soon.”

“Yes but the BOTD deal is still live, so get it at Amazon now. Just press on one of the buttons below and you’ll be there in a flash.”

Being a new author, I’m keenly aware of all the award-winning authors out there, so now I am giving myself one: The No Awards Award. I am proudly shelving it with all the other trophies I never won.

But seriously, here is a an award or reward for you, the reader: my two-book series, Mirrored Sword, is selling at Amazon Books at ground-floor prices, about $1.00 or £0.77 per book. Part One is FREE on Kindle Unlimited. This is for a limited time only, so get this bargain before the prices go up. You’ll have to buy it sooner or later, it’s s such a great story!

What makes Mirrored Sword such a great story? I have no problem sharing my secret with you. I didn’t write it to make a lot of money. I wanted to write a great novel, a modern epic set in the exotic past, a tragicomic adventure/romance that will get readers hanging on tight in a rollercoaster ride with vivid characters, the dialogue witty and charming, the setting historically authentic. If the ride is slow in places, you know it’s building up to something big.

“Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah,” I hear you scoff.

You don’t believe me? Get Part One and give it a try. What have you got to lose? It’s free or almost. If you like the experience, get Part 2 as well, because it’s just as cheap, BUT REMEMBER: it is only for a limited period.

Click on the menu above to learn more, or click on the buttons below to shop now.

Selling books to the public is like feeding roses to a dinosaur. Individual people are smart, canny, sensitive creatures, endowed with an olfactory nerve that sniffs out bargains and treasures from miles away, but the public is a different critter. Massed together as a crowd, people feed as one, think, feel, move in the manner of a primeval beast of the forest, ponderous, slow to advance, governed by habit. The networks of synapses that flash signals along the individual’s spinal column and cerebral cortex in only microseconds, enabling homo sapiens to adapt to new circumstances in rational leaps of the imagination, so that you and I can evade the snapping jaws of a predator almost at the same instant as we skewer dinner for tonight (and your synapses have already worked out that I am exaggerating your abilities in the wild) – these rapid connections just don’t happen in the public’s nervous system. It lumbers along the paths it has always followed, generation after generation, never really varying ancestral routines, feeding where it always fed, seeing what it always saw, thinking what it always thought, or, if it does change, it is only in externals and only by imperceptible degrees, inch by inch, aeon by aeon.

Thus we always find ourselves reliving history.

“Stop the world!” you often say. “I want to get off.”

 Sorry but there is no getting off this ride, at least not while you can still contemplate the possibility. It is your fate to be dragged along in the public’s wake from the moment you are born to the moment you die, an insignificant molecular cell in a long, long, long tail, neither known, nor loved nor mourned by the enormous host you are part of. It is the tragedy of being you, and the comedy too.

“But what has all this got to do with books?” I hear you complain, because your synapses can’t help firing on all cylinders, you inquisitive little creature.

So I’ll tell you.

Books are the foliage that the dinosaur devours, the same leaves, the same stories, with just a few differences between, a slightly serrated edge here, the suggestion of an interesting colour there, a minutely raised vein on this side, something like a polished surface on the other – it is all one to the dinosaur. A rose might be a rose by any other name but it’s just greenery to him. Ten miles down the track, it’s poo.

“So, you are an author!” you say.

Does it show?

Deadly epidemics, rampant crime, wars and rumours of wars – sound familiar? That’s right, it’s the year 1471, and life struggles amid the ruins of better times, as political divisions and dynastic struggles leave the authorities corrupt and powerless. Yet these are also times of renewal.

Mirrored Sword is a story of the living past and it will keep you smiling through the rage and fury you might feel today, on the verge of a world that seems to be coming apart. It is, in a nutshell, a tragicomic story of lovers and other buffoons getting their lives together as they guess, blunder and barge their way towards something like victory, freedom and release, with pets, friends, servants and family coming along for the ride.

The story is told in two parts or as a complete whole, and you can mix and match eBooks and paperbacks to suit your tastes and budget. It includes a feast of talking points that you can share with those near and dear to you, or those in the way of becoming near and dear, as you work your way through the twists and turns of the plot, every I-knew-it opening onto an I-don’t-believe-it, and every What-a-man or What-a-woman crumbling into Stop-it-while-you-still can-You-Fool! Then there are all the How-dare-they moments, and I-daren’t-turn-another-page! Chances are you’ll read it again and again, and each time you’ll discover something you hadn’t realised before. It’s a BIG story.

And it is available now at Amazon Books. I’m the author, Allan Hands. You are welcome to poke about my blog for more info, or Shop Now.

Allan Hands is a self-published Australian author who single-handedly captured medieval England in a two-book series titled Mirrored Sword. The reviews are rapturous so far, highlighting how well he caught the people, places and times with a story that is not only thrilling and realistic but witty also. Even the English (usually a grudging mob) admit that they have been won over, as shown by the customer reviews on the UK amazon pages. Allan wears all his reviews as proudly as medals, and you can find them on this blog by clicking on the Reviews button.

“But you are Allan Hands, aren’t you?” I hear you complain.

No, Allan Hands is a pen name. I’m too modest to brag, so I do it in Allan’s name instead.

“But why the bravado, this nonsense about capturing the sceptred isle singlehanded? You’re no hero.”

Certainly not! I have lived in a country and at a time when most people have never had to fight for anything, unlike my grandfathers, Allan McPherson and Claude Hands. Ring a bell? Yes, my pen name is borrowed from them. Allan Hands is an easier brand to remember than my own name, Ross McPherson, but it is also a tribute to family. All history, one way or another, is the history of families. So let me tell you something about the family.

Claude and Allan lived through two world wars and the Great Depression. Here on the left we see Claude and his brother Norman (seated) in their uniforms as volunteers in the Australian Infantry, circa 1917. Norman came home with a Military Medal on his chest (something about capturing a machine gun and turning it on the enemy – the usual story) but Claude returned with only some shrapnel in his shoulder. Allan, a dour Scottish immigrant, enlisted with the Australians and returned to Oz with a steel plate in his head, covering a hole also courtesy of Kaiser Bill.

Claude spent the first nine years after his return from the Front working hard and saving money to bring out his war bride, a girl from Manchester with rosy cheeks, whom he first met on furlough. We see Claude and Marion enjoying the Australian sunshine together. Sadly, she died prematurely after 15 years marriage, courtesy of a mosquito bite and the encephalitis it caused. Claude married a second time, very unhappily, but Allan married once only, in 1922, and both he and Thelma lived to a ripe old age.

And here we see my parents, Judith Hands and Colin McPherson, a gorgeous couple, enjoying life in post-war Australia. They divorced after about 25 years marriage but I dedicated my first book to Judith and my second to Colin, thus reuniting them in spite of everything. Both became victims of Covid hysteria in the last two years. Judith was residing an aged care home when it was suddenly locked down out of an abundance of caution, as they say. By the time we were allowed in, she was in a coma and died without ever regaining consciousness. Colin also died alone in an aged care home. His children couldn’t visit him because the state border was closed, also out of an abundance of caution.

So, you can’t say that Allan Hands is just another damned Australian who knows nothing about medieval England, with all its wars and plagues. It is etched in family memory, as it is for millions of others.

Spalding, Bourne, Fotheringhay, Huntingdon, Royston and Ware here we come! Throw in Waltham Abbey, Southwark, London and the Lincolnshire fens, just for good measure, and bring along some pets, such as the spoilt mule-cum-donkey, Lady Lorna Blakeney, and Wakefield, the Welsh terrier (aka Dog, the poacher’s friend), and how could you forget Mary of Reading, the hired horse with the manners of a best friend! There you have Mirrored Sword, a tour you could fall in love with.

Oh and add some villains (common run-of-the-mill thieves, opportunists, cut-throats, machiavellian nobles, warring factions and rival armies), rough accommodation, overgrown and rundown roads, and companions you wish you had left behind, above all fool relatives and self-serving servants – and there you have Mirrored Sword again, an adventure combining fun, suspense, thrills and humour.

Oh and did I forget to mention romance?

Check out the books by clicking on the BOOKS button above.

You be the judge.

Reedsy.com is undoubtedly one of the premier sites for self-published authors, connecting them with professionals in the book trade able to give manuscripts a winning finish (one of their artists designed the cover here). The site regularly issues a newsletter, featuring recently reviewed books. Issue #143 (December 10 2021) opened with a couple of intriguing paragraphs:

“Did you know that Hilary Mantel is the first woman to have been awarded the Booker Prize twice? Best known for her fictional trilogy about Thomas Cromwell — the first two books of which won her the aforementioned prize — Mantel has undoubtedly written some of the best historical fiction novels of this century — or any other, for that matter. 

If you’re a fan of Mantel, or generally enjoy historical fiction with absorbing Tudor settings, you’ll want to keep an eye out for the debut duology I’m recommending this week. It’s not only rich in historical detail and character portraits, but a witty read to boot!” 

The newsletter then introduces a list of featured books, the first for Young Adults, the second for Historical Fiction, and I quote:

“Allan Hands’s historical fiction novel Mirrored Sword, Part Two continues the epic story of Susanna, an ambitious painter in love with the Yorkist king, and Tom, a fighting Lancastrian. Set during the Wars of the Roses — a series of civil wars in 15th century England — the novel brims with nail-biting political drama and is packed with both adventure and romance. Fans of Hilary Mantelwill not want to miss this sharp story and its incredible cast, though I do recommend starting with Part One.” 

So, is Mirrored Sword one of the best historical fiction novels of all time – which is how I understand the newsletter – or is the write-up merely encouragement for a first-time author?

You be the judge: read the book.

Hello! I am Alan Hands, the author of the book the good professor has just previewed. What do you think of her performance? What will you think of mine? I think the jury is still out on that one, because there is more to writing and publishing that just writing and publishing.

Writing a book and publishing it are monumental achievements, akin to building the Eiffel Tower, the Taj Mahal, and Sydney Opera House, but what use is a Sydney Opera House, Taj Mahal or Eiffel Tower if you don’t build the roads and bridges that bring the tourists?

I’m talking about marketing and advertising. It’s a steep learning curve for the novice, a roller coaster ride that you can’t exit whenever it pleases you, or your future as an author will be spectacularly short. It might be spectacularly short anyway, if you get it horribly wrong.

Has the good professor ruined my career with her impassioned devotion to my work? It’s a risk I must take. Consider the financial costs of self-promotion and set aside the cost to one’s reputation and dignity. On average, getting just one person to reach my blog costs about 60 cents in Facebook ads, or let’s say about $30 for 50 people. On average, only about one out of ten visitors will then click the link to my amazon pages and, of those ten, just one will end up buying one of my absurdly cheap books (gotta sell cheap to compete). So, we’re looking at $60 out for maybe one sale, amounting to a couple of dollars. How long can I keep bleeding money in this way? Hopefully long enough for word to spread that Mirrored Sword is a great story.

I’ve got great books to sell, great covers for them, and great reviews, but it is all down the drain if I can’t connect the road and bridges to this masterpiece. And now that I’m getting this stuff off my chest, let me have a word in your pearly shell about Amazon.

You might think Amazon would look after someone who spends his own money drawing people to their website. Instead, they provide my books with a Look Inside function which, being an online device, makes a mess of the formatting I took such care with. It doesn’t affect the books you purchase but it must give you pause for thought: is this book defective and is it worth buying? Worse still, Amazon advertises other books on my pages and, being Amazon, it knows exactly what sort of books you usually buy. So, if you are here out of mere curiosity, and you are still curious enough to follow the links to Amazon, the chances are you will see other books on my pages that look more like your sort of thing. Don’t be tempted by those outrageous flirts, the other books that Amazon parades about on my page, temptresses batting their eyelids at you, wiggling their hips! All I’ve got on my side is the good professor, Alana Hands.

Is it any wonder that I will try almost anything to market my books?