Reza Abraham's Blog - Posts Tagged "mindfulness"
Competition and Happiness
Ask any normal person to sketch their dream getaway from normal, everyday life, and they will paint an ideal life that is stress-free and non-competitive.
Unfortunately (debatable), humans are innately competitive.
Be it in school, at work, or in life, we have always been told that to win is to stand at the very top. Competition is inevitable. Society doesn't seem like a place where you can cut yourself the tiniest bit of slack, does it? I mean, you even have to compete with yourself!
A lot of time, how a person takes competition depends on the biological and social changes they have experienced growing up. It is this very desire to stand out from the crowd that propels us to go above and beyond what we are capable of. However, one has to keep their intention for competition in check. It is easy to feel unfulfilled and lacking when competition is heading in the wrong direction.
When is competition doing you more harm than good? It all comes down to your attitude.
You know the competition is heading towards a toxic path when you demand perfection, with no tolerance for anything that seconds it. You start feeling down, and you might even blame yourself for not being able to achieve what you wanted to. Instead of acknowledging the fact that you have grown a little stronger, or gotten a little faster than YOU in the past, your focus is solely on how much better your competitor is performing.
The unhealthy competition also results in lowered self-esteem. Competition can be helpful in character-building, especially when one is able to perform well despite being put under pressure. However, when expectations and standards are not met, and there is no recognition received, it could lead to a sense of anxiety and insecurity about oneself. That is when one could either give up on pursuing what they had wanted for themselves, or develop a false sense of what "perfection" should be.
On the other hand, good competition will push the parties involved to evolve and get better. A competitive environment is perfect for developing one’s skill set because it pushes them to constantly perform their best, which is commonly known as the Growth Mindset. Someone who is a sporting competitor is someone who wishes to succeed, but will also celebrate the victory of his opponent.
Healthy competition encourages collaboration and cooperation. In an age where the use of social media is growing exponentially, human beings spend a considerable amount of time on their own instead of with others. Competition provides feedback that we can evaluate in terms of behavioral, psychological, social, and economic outcomes, and can provide a rich learning environment for people to express and develop physical skills and personal attributes.
It's irrefutable that competition plays an important role in growth. Competitions should not be used as a means to magnify what you might be lacking instead. Competitions should exist for you to identify both your strengths and weaknesses, and while improving, don’t forget to celebrate yourself. Strive for excellence, not perfection, because
News flash: Perfection does not exist. It is an unattainable concept.
You don’t necessarily have to be the first to be the winner.
What makes you a champion in life is your unbreakable spirit in giving yourself and the world the best that you can.
Learn to love your imperfections, because that is what makes you, You!
-
Check out my new video on How to Find Peace with your Imperfections at https://youtu.be/pr8BY94MJAg.
By yours truly.
Unfortunately (debatable), humans are innately competitive.
Be it in school, at work, or in life, we have always been told that to win is to stand at the very top. Competition is inevitable. Society doesn't seem like a place where you can cut yourself the tiniest bit of slack, does it? I mean, you even have to compete with yourself!
A lot of time, how a person takes competition depends on the biological and social changes they have experienced growing up. It is this very desire to stand out from the crowd that propels us to go above and beyond what we are capable of. However, one has to keep their intention for competition in check. It is easy to feel unfulfilled and lacking when competition is heading in the wrong direction.
When is competition doing you more harm than good? It all comes down to your attitude.
You know the competition is heading towards a toxic path when you demand perfection, with no tolerance for anything that seconds it. You start feeling down, and you might even blame yourself for not being able to achieve what you wanted to. Instead of acknowledging the fact that you have grown a little stronger, or gotten a little faster than YOU in the past, your focus is solely on how much better your competitor is performing.
The unhealthy competition also results in lowered self-esteem. Competition can be helpful in character-building, especially when one is able to perform well despite being put under pressure. However, when expectations and standards are not met, and there is no recognition received, it could lead to a sense of anxiety and insecurity about oneself. That is when one could either give up on pursuing what they had wanted for themselves, or develop a false sense of what "perfection" should be.
On the other hand, good competition will push the parties involved to evolve and get better. A competitive environment is perfect for developing one’s skill set because it pushes them to constantly perform their best, which is commonly known as the Growth Mindset. Someone who is a sporting competitor is someone who wishes to succeed, but will also celebrate the victory of his opponent.
Healthy competition encourages collaboration and cooperation. In an age where the use of social media is growing exponentially, human beings spend a considerable amount of time on their own instead of with others. Competition provides feedback that we can evaluate in terms of behavioral, psychological, social, and economic outcomes, and can provide a rich learning environment for people to express and develop physical skills and personal attributes.
It's irrefutable that competition plays an important role in growth. Competitions should not be used as a means to magnify what you might be lacking instead. Competitions should exist for you to identify both your strengths and weaknesses, and while improving, don’t forget to celebrate yourself. Strive for excellence, not perfection, because
News flash: Perfection does not exist. It is an unattainable concept.
You don’t necessarily have to be the first to be the winner.
What makes you a champion in life is your unbreakable spirit in giving yourself and the world the best that you can.
Learn to love your imperfections, because that is what makes you, You!
-
Check out my new video on How to Find Peace with your Imperfections at https://youtu.be/pr8BY94MJAg.
By yours truly.
Make Mindfulness Your Superpower!
Being mindful is an ancient wisdom of which importance has resurfaced in the modern world, following the rise in awareness about mental and spiritual health. We have been taught mindfulness-related virtues, such as compassion and forgiveness, from a very young age, and yet even most adults have not a single clue on how they can tap into their mindfulness.
But what is mindfulness anyway?
Mindfulness can be defined as the state of mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical growth in which we can stay fully aware of what is going on around us during our highs and lows and still stay in full control, and it’s not called a superpower for naught.
How mindfulness can be your superpower
1. Being mindful allows you to know yourself better.
A mindful person is someone who reflects on and upgrades themselves for the better. Practicing mindfulness will make it easier for you to detach from the commotion of the mind and tune into stillness. What lies beneath the waves of emotions and thoughts is the inner peace that has been with you all along, patiently waiting to be explored. Achieving that hidden power will aid you in seeing things clearer.
2. Mindfulness teaches you to respond rather than react.
Being mindful allows you to be in better control of your emotions. We often react emotionally to outside factors, such as a rude comment from a colleague or bad customer service at a restaurant. Someone who regularly keeps their mindfulness in check will become more aware of their emotions, thought patterns, and habitual responses. This awareness will give the person control over how they wish to respond to situations.
3. Mindfulness can never be taken away from you.
The third reason why mindfulness can be your superpower is that it is something you can hold on to through both the good and bad times. A mindful person will be able to experience emotions as they are. All that it requires is an open mind and your willingness to let things sink into place to let your mindfulness work its magic.
Can mindfulness be a “bad” thing?
Practicing mindfulness may be widely recognized as a mental cure-all, however, there have been studies done on the effects of mindfulness where they, surprisingly, could be bad for you at times. Even though the numbers are significantly smaller in comparison to people who have benefited from it, researchers have found 1% out of 7,000 studies on mindfulness-based programs to have negative experiences such as feeling anxiety, social withdrawal, disrupted sleep, and more. This is one of the prime examples of why it is of utmost importance to keep the right intentions in mind when you are practicing mindfulness.Practice mindfulness the right way
1. Define your zone
A brilliant method of practicing mindfulness as suggested by Dr. Reza Abraham in his book, InControl, would first be to have a what, where, and when that is free of distractions. Allow no one and nothing to influence whatever thoughts and perceptions you have within that zone, and really reflect on and refocus yourself.
2. Use distractions to your advantage
Contrary to the technique mentioned above, distractions can work in our favor if done correctly. Notice how children can be crying one moment, and giggling the next? The good news is that it’s something adults can do too, often without realizing it. We all have the innate ability to switch between emotions. One way of getting yourself out of a negative emotion that could cloud your judgment would be by setting happiness reminders on your phone. Remind yourself to smile, or simply breathe.
3. Do mindful exercises
A mindful exercise that Dr. Reza strongly believes in and lives by is to keep a journal. Journaling is more than writing a “Dear Diary” at the start of every record of how your day went. It’s a chance to check in with yourself and reflect on what you’re thinking, feeling, and writing about. You may also just get to arrange your thoughts a little bit better. Start journaling by checking in with yourself once a day. You could also try cooking a fancy dinner for yourself or walking your dog for 30 minutes a day. While there are tons of mindful exercises that you could give a go at, the truth is the best one for you is the one that helps you feel calm and present.
Being mindful is about seeing yourself as you truly are and making peace with yourself regardless of how it makes you feel. It doesn’t take much to take your first step towards becoming present. It could be as simple as putting down your phone and really listening when someone talks to you. It may not change the things that happen to you, but it definitely will change your relationship with what happens.
In our latest book, InControl: A Systematic Approach to Taking Complete Control of Your Life and Career, we talked about “Consciousness” as the core of being in control of your life and career. It is most important ‘C’ that you and I, need to work on it before everything else. The ability to be aware and stay mindful that not everything is within our control, the best life lived is by design and the outcome of someone who dares to take the leap of faith and keep moving forward.
Leave a comment below and I'll be happy to share with you a chapter summary of the book.
Reza Abraham
