Steve Patterson's Blog

This was originally a post on social media two years ago.

What do you do when you have been trying to solve the same problem for a long period of time? Is it simply a matter of coming up with a new approach? What kind of advice do you seek from outside sources? Do you retry what you have already tried by modifying the process somehow?

Perhaps the question running through your mind is, “What about taking a masterclass, taking an online course, or listening to an expert speak on the topic?” I know it happens to me from time to time. But, though I believe that voice in my head constantly tells me everything will be all right, oddly enough, that is usually the case.

In spite of all this, the question remains of how to solve a problem we have faced numerous times in the past.

The tendency of others to say, “you are not accepting your role in making a mistake,” or “why don’t you take a look at what you are doing wrong and do something different,” followed by suggestions, is not uncommon. Despite the fact that everything contains threads of truth, which are we most likely to grasp? Is there a scenario in which we do not have the time to start over from scratch?

For many people, this is a familiar place. No matter what the circumstances or circumstances are, it may appear. Despite making a successful living economically, a man or woman may be stuck in an unhappy relationship at home. There is no difference in who is operating the wheel and what grain is being ground in these instances. The connection is not working as intended.

The same could be said of any combination of the things we are told that create a complete person. Those areas of our lives include our health, family, economic, and social networks. It takes a lot of work to optimize each of these things simultaneously.

Collectively, the responsibilities of modern-day living are so vast in number and scope of responsibilities that sometimes we are just a power company supplying our power to fulfill expectations. As we meet these demands, we are left pondering what we have failed to do instead of appreciating our dedication and work to live a better life.

Whatever time we have left to ourselves is often spent pondering what we didn’t do rather than what we accomplished. What is the value of talking or thinking about what you didn’t do? Is there any sense in making statements about what you will not do? What is the point of that? How about, with full knowledge of what you have done that did not serve you well, learning from that and only speaking and thinking about what you will do?

On the road of life, you cannot drive full speed ahead while constantly looking at the rearview mirror and then be surprised when you hit a tree. Keeping your eyes on the road ahead, you will see all that has happened to pass by before it becomes the past. Learn from them and let them go. Then, with full knowledge of what has worked well and what has not, your intuition can shine forth. You can then make your next informed decision without being distracted by thoughts from yesterday.

Who knows, perhaps some of those problems you feel you have will fade into where they belong, the past because the solutions to your problems are here and now. Not in the past nor in the future. What do you intend to do next?

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Last summer, I was a guest on the podcast Cancer-U. It was a great conversation, and the host touched on several topics left undiscussed in other interviews about my book “This is How it Feels to Heal, a shamanic journey through cancer, recovery, and life challenges.”

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Please join me for a November of Gratitude as we have a month of thanksgiving for all that we have in life. Each morning, from the 1st until the 30th, I will provide the daily prompt to remind us to be thankful for some of the simplest things as we go through the month.

Most days, it will be a short Facebook live early in the day, about 8 AM EST. On other days it will be a quick note to brief video to start the day.

With so much to be grateful for, why not show it with me in this 30-day gratitude challenge?

Thank you!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/440511021538461

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The last couple of years have been challenging for everyone, and as we continue living our lives in a seemingly uncertain world, it is easy to get lost. When things are not going right, perhaps something is holding you back though you wish this were not the case. Unfortunately, a lot of the time, we get stuck looking at our problems instead of seeing the solutions. But before we can see a way out, we must be clear about where we stand. Are you okay? Have you considered seriously evaluating your life?

Would you like an opportunity to check in with yourself by sitting in on a formal psychological evaluation, including a look at addiction, recovery, and perhaps where to turn next?

Then, you are invited to a free webinar in which Larry Walton, who is entering his 50th year as an LCSW, and Steve Patterson, of Recovery Café, walk through and explain the process of evaluations, assessments, and potential solutions in behavioral health.

Who is this for?

Everyone.

Even if you do not have a problem with substances, the counseling, coaching, and training available at Recovery Café serve a wide variety of people who are going through some significant change in their lives. Before we work with an individual, they will undergo an evaluation that will include a Biobehavioral/Alcohol and Other Drug Misuse History, a Brief Mental Status Examination, and a review of their current condition.

Larry and Steve will review the covered domains, give some example questions, and discuss why this is important. Those attending the webinar will be allowed to ask questions at specific points throughout the session.

Once we get through the domains of questions, we will discuss the assessment, diagnostic impression, and recommendations.

At this point, we will branch off into a final brief discussion of non-evidence-based approaches, such as are found in spirituality. Although, for some, spirituality is a big part of their life, we have found value in weaving a path of conscious intention and a therapeutic approach that work well hand in hand.

There will be a Q&A with Larry and Steve at the end.

For privacy, you are not required to have your camera on, and you are not required to participate.

Register for the free webinar: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZ0uf-CprT0jHd0VEvGNmb0kJQiBL6oV6Kwh#/registration

Video link mentioned in the video above: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbVWPI-jjxw&t=12s

Meet Larry and Steve

Tommie L. (Larry) Walton, III, has worked in behavioral healthcare, consultation, and training since 1973. During his tenure in behavioral healthcare, Larry has created successful and innovative programs in both the public and private sectors. He has a thriving private practice in psychotherapy and addiction treatment (www.recoverycafe.com), where he uses the methods he teaches daily. Larry is also a co-founder of The In House Group (www.in-house-group.com), a concierge practice taking recovery to people where they live and travel, a unique option in the field of dual-diagnosis addiction treatment and the ultimate in personalized care.

Larry alternates time between Georgia, Idaho, and Wyoming and is licensed as a clinical social worker in those states. In addition, he has attained certification as a master addiction counselor and clinical supervisor. As a member of the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers, he is trained as a trainer in motivational interviewing and as a motivational interviewing supervisor.

Larry breeds, trains, and competes with Catahoula Leopard Dogs (six national championships). As a National Outdoor Leadership School Graduate and Leave No Trace Trainer, he delights in being outdoors.

Steve Patterson has worked in behavioral healthcare since joining Recovery Café in 2015. First as a volunteer for recovery meetings, later as a Recovery Coach, and in 2019 becoming a Certified Drug and Alcohol counselor in the State of Georgia. He is also a Nationally Certified Clinical Peer Support Recovery Specialist, a trainer of Recovery Coaches, and has facilitated recovery-based groups using Prime Solutions and SMART Recovery.

Larry was the person who invited Steve into the field and has served as a mentor and friend since. The two first met when Steve received a terminal diagnosis in 2011.

In his private practice, Wind and Raven (www.windandraven.com), Steve offers a shamanic approach to addiction and other spiritually based approaches to transition and challenging times. In his 2022 book, “This is how it Feels to Heal, a shamanic journey through cancer, recovery, and life challenges,” he tells the story of blending various healing approaches to get through terminal illness.

Steve lives and travels with his fiance Julina Tabaras.

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The stigma around mental illness from disorders such as substance abuse or depression is well known. In many ways, from seeing it as a problem to understanding, it is a somewhat common challenge some face and feel compassion towards the individual. I would bet that some who view alcoholics as slouches or otherwise are perhaps within the diagnosable range of problem use. Nevertheless, stigma is common in society and is something that serves no positive purpose.

Feeling stigma can lead to guilt. After all, we are taught to behave like others since the day we are born and to be ostracized in any way means you have done something wrong, you are broken, or you no longer are “one of the crowd.” Feeling like an outcast only reinforces the tendency for one to make bad choices, which in turn only sends them further down their dark path.

For the alcoholic, much of this may go on subconsciously as the conscious level is bathed in self-medication. However, in time, even beer, wine, or whisky, no longer do the trick. Likewise, a similar place is realized for the opioid or amphetamine user.

When you feel you have done something wrong and can not keep from doing it again, the guilt becomes so strong that you begin to feel shame. You no longer feel that you have someone you can talk to, you keep much of your life to yourself, and you are in a lonely place.

In the early days of human existence, being shamed would be forced away from the fire, your family, and your village. Now, it was just you, the forest, and the wolves.

In general, shame is an embarrassment or humiliation resulting from the perception of dishonorable, immoral, or improper behavior. Despite being a negative emotion, shame plays a role in our survival.

This is a place not necessary to reach before deciding to change your life. It is the preverbal “rock bottom.” The last of a cascading series of stops Sand red flags along the path to perceived ruin. Something’s got to give.

Before we go on, let’s let go, as they say, of the doom and gloom feeling you may have after reading the first section of this blog. These are heavy topics, and treating them lightly only slows the change process. Likewise, stigma does not need to play a role in healing. It only complicates the process, and it is best if one makes it a priority to have a healthy social network of friends and family for support. If you do not, now you have something on your bucket list.

Regardless of when it is or what it is, letting go of something that no longer serves you in some positive way is always the way to go.

For someone who has sunk to rock bottom, the feeling of humiliation can be overwhelming. This feeling of hopelessness is the first thing that needs to go. The aim is to let go of the belief that it can not be done. Once that is considered, the fear of failure is the next saboteur to be faced. This is where it is vital to insist that one believes in themselves even if the proverbial voice on the other shoulder is whispering otherwise.

A little anger at oneself or others might be good here as it would demonstrate that you value yourself, even if the victim tells you that you have been cheated. But do not let that get carried away; anger is natural and a form of pride, but not necessarily the good kind of pride—just enough pride to get to enough success to where you develop courage.

Now you know you can do it because you believe in yourself.

Sounds easy, huh? It is for some, but for most, it is not. The individual conditions of each person’s life that will be changed are missing from such a typical scenario. Old beliefs nearly across the board will be let go and replaced with new ones. There will be some of what was mentioned here, the roadblocks they present, and the challenges that can be overcome in most success stories of coming back from any level of dependency.

The key to all of this is courage. It is the baseline from which you build everything. It is what empowers you in the realization that you can do whatever you set your mind to accomplish.

As one lifts themselves from dependency, it is crucial to let go of outdated beliefs. First, that anyone else did this to you; next, that you can not get out of your situation; and lastly, that other’s opinions of you should be taken with a huge grain of salt, if at all.

Be sure to ask about anything that resonates with you about what is written here with any prospective coach or counselor you may choose to see. Ask them about letting go.

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In the early summer of 2021, Wind and Raven offered “Shamanic Journey and Recovery.” It is a six-week, self-paced, entirely online course for people in recovery to add a deep spirituality to their path; we spoke about hearing your calling.

Below is a clip from several videos in one of the chapters.

David Bothe, who has been a friend for many years, and I visit to discuss healing your calling.

To find out more, visit windandraven.com or check out the course here: https://windandraven.thinkific.com/

Individuals can also meet with me for a 12-week version of this program. Information on that is here.

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Many years ago, while participating in a Seidr ceremony, an Old Norse spiritual practice, I told the story of the Viking god Forseti. Without going into the tale itself, I was talking about being the shining light on an island where women went to heal. Some old stories include the island part of his story; some do not. It just so happened that on that evening, I was leading this ceremony for a “goddess group,” a group of women of various ages who are into the goddess of world traditions.

So, why am I mentioning this now, all these years later? It was the beginning of what continues today, only now in a different way. On that evening, the women thought it was funny that the story was about the shining one on an island, where women when to heal, and I was telling it to a group of women. I was invited back often.

This week, I will begin working with two new clients who came to me through my clinical recovery work. Of course, I can not say anything about them. Still, I will note that they share a demographic as my most successful clients over the last eight years of professional work. These include: being a woman, overall middle-class or higher upbringing and current life, somewhere between 37-60, who is facing a myriad of mid-life issues that often includes some of the more challenging scenarios of separations, substance misuse, and significant transformations of some kind.

This particular type of client collectively gets the most out of our time together without intending it this way. That is not to say that the teens, or the combat veterans who had severe war trauma, people facing significant legal challenges, do not benefit as much as I do from experience. I say benefit as much as I do because I feel that every session I do only helps me develop my work and, at times, in a roundabout way, helps me in my personal life.

For example, I had said to myself, “Wow, if I said I was doing right now in a session to me (meaning as a person to a counselor)….” So, in other words, it is not always easy to make the best decision all the time. But, still, if we are at least aware of that and that we make errors, we do not let them become mistakes by correcting them.

Along that line of thinking, which in a nutshell is being consciously aware of our actions, being accountable for the outcome, and then using whatever experience we gained to help us make the best choices, is the overall message of my work.

But there are so many complicating factors, and that is where the longevity of session work shines. When it comes time to part ways with someone who has been coming to see me for a year or more, all of those complicating factors are gone.

I did not specifically choose to be doing exactly what I am today. My background is very diverse, but I love it nonetheless. The island isn’t so bad. I now live on one, Cozumel; just a few miles away is Isla Mujeres, the Island of Women. The best part is that there is a similar story here in the Maya tradition, only this time, on Cozumel, it is a goddess, not a god.

But that is another story….

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Affordable online recovery coaching can assist people in navigating the challenges of rebuilding and maintaining a healthy lifestyle without alcohol and drugs interfering. Recovery Café and I have you covered fully licensed.*

Do you get stuck? Would you say that it is difficult for you to identify what is holding you back from the success you desire? Are you looking for a mainstream or spiritual approach to overcoming addiction or maintaining recovery?

Indeed, change is not difficult, but most people seldom embrace it. Many people think that change is challenging, but this is not true. The belief that life is suffering, some form of struggle, or a continuous series of events and people that seek to hold you back or otherwise prevent you from living the life you are meant for ends the biggest dreams.

Are you a self-starter? Do you believe in yourself to overcome such a challenge? If so, I offer two options.

Using recovery coaching, you can change your relationship with alcohol and drugs, get healthy, and feel like you have regained control over your life. Every individual will come to recovery with their own set of objectives regarding changing their relationship with alcohol or drugs.

Change in their relationship requires effort and commitment on their part. When you hire us as your recovery coach, we will work together to develop a personalized plan that will guide you to meet your goals, keep you on track, and allow you to thrive in recovery.

In my approach to recovery coaching, I primarily utilize recovery coach methods with a Motivational Interviewing approach that we use in consciously creating change. Motivational interviewing is an approach to counseling developed by clinical psychologists.

The method involves a directive, client-centered counseling approach that aims to promote behavior change by assisting clients with exploring and resolving ambivalence. In addition to being fast-paced and direct, it is also very effective at realizing long-lasting change by reducing cravings and improving one’s self-image.

For a person’s recovery to be successful, it must be tailored to their characteristics. Therefore, I take a flexible, personalized approach to consider a strategy for you.

By combining modern, progressive, esoteric, scientific, and philosophical approaches, we can assist clients in making changes. Throughout the entire process, we place more emphasis and awareness on your actions and choices related to your new lifestyle.

Together, we identify what you require and desire, then develop a plan for achieving these objectives before implementing them.

For a  clinical based on traditional therapy that includes all phases of Substance Abuse Counseling and Coaching, as well as a tenured Liscecensed clinical option available, visit us at RecoveryCafe.com.

More about, and contact Wind and Raven

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Divorce is a tough transition. I know myself as someone who has been down that path multiple times. But, I have found that legging go of the baggage in your mind is the best bet because that is some heavy shit.

Those transitions also involve children, property, and perhaps business for some of us. The more two people become entwined, but more complicated things become. So the game changes, but it is not a game.

It is real life. If you find it overwhelming, you can try to escape it, but the only way to honestly do that is through death, and this is about life.

Your life now that you are on your own. Perhaps soon to be like others, or have been for a while by still others. But this is not about them but you and your life.

As Juliana Tabares titles he book about the transition from the corporate world to a more fulfilling life, “One Life to Be You,” she sums it up nicely.

How you live your life, the only one you have, is up to you.

“But it is so complicated,” you might say, and it is. But life is, and anything you say beyond that is your opinion of it. It is complicated because you believe it is complicated.

Stop believing it is complicated and see it as a challenge, test, or obstacle course you must traverse. The best way to think of it differently is to look at it differently.

Looking at your life’s complexities, even where there seem to be too many to see at once, becomes much easier if you slow down. Talk with someone. Someone you can trust and someone you can say anything to because you need to get it out.

In getting it out, you see it there clearly. Now it is on display and open to be viewed from different perspectives. Imagine sitting at a fire with someone who is on the opposite side of the fire. You are both describing the fire. It is right there before you, yet it looks slightly different.

It is sometimes in those moments that another’s perspective can help.

Letting go of the memories of lost love and marriage is not easy for most people. But, regardless of whether it has been six months or 15 years since you separated, in my experience, I have found that not talking about your former spouse is an excellent policy.

However, those memories still need to be resolved; that is where speaking with someone comes in. Unfortunately, I did not take the opportunity to do that despite being a certified counselor at the time. Looking back, I am sure it would have been a beneficial path to speak to someone in the first place.

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It has been about a decade since I have deepened into my Shamanic practice. One of my first challenges was locating a Shaman, so my question became: What happened to the Shamans? Where are they today?

In the early 90s, I had the opportunity to experience the time-honored traditions of the Hopi and Navajo Apache of Northern Arizona. A few years after that, I became fascinated with the Oglala Sioux, and, while I had no direct experience with any of the living Medicine Men, or Shamans as one may say, I associated all that I learned in my two trips to the region of the Pine Ridge Reservation where they live today in the Badlands of South Dakota.

When I was given a terminal illness diagnosis in 2011, a story that is discussed in various ways in my work in psychotherapy as a recovery and subsequent drug and alcohol counselor, I opted to leave me, or whom I believe I Am, and re-engage my spirit, and to do that, I began seeking master Shamanic Teachers on three continents, and over the subsequent years delved deeply into the oldest forms of Shamanism. But, still wondering, What happened to the Shamans?

One of these was Michael Harmon, who has a quote that resonated strongly with me as I went through my training and learning of various traditions. But the traditions themselves result from what was once simply the Spirit world, or non-ordinary reality. So Harmon’s book “The Way of the Shaman” inspired what today is called “core-Shamanism,” which is not “Neo-Shamanism” or some reinvention or interpretation that is essentially a product of marketing.

“Shamanism is not ‘New Age.’ It is Stone Age and has been living ever since.”
—Michael Harner

Still, while there are still Shamans in the world today in some of the more remote areas that have not “developed” as the rest of civilization, how is it that we lost them in the first place? How were they replaced, you could say, by mythos-based spirituality and ultimately organized religion.

I am still learning, and while I am now a Shamanic Practitioner for the past few years, this is the way that I explain why we lost our connection to divinity and replaced it with an image of any deity.

So, here is a short video on my answer to What happened to the Shamans? Afterward, suppose you want to know more. In that case, there is a link below the video on online training in today’s core-Shamanism with Wind and Raven.

If you are interested in exploring Shamanism, a free ZOOM meeting is scheduled to discuss an upcoming two-day workshop Wind and Raven is offering online. It is “Start Your Shamanic Path.”

For more information, click the link

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