Natalie Meagan's Blog

I know I have been MIA on socials lately, I am dealing with evergreen grief and trying to adjust HOWEVER I did manage to sit down and write a little blog for you, I hope you enjoy!

So in my latest video, I read 5 dark romance titles from my dark romance spreadsheet in order to cast a wide net in pursuit of answering my own question: do I even like dark romance?

https://youtu.be/-2RpAM8ghv4?si=CjhEvoGfHn5SzNy1

If you’re not a video review person, here are my summarized thoughts on each.

The Never King by Nikki St. Crowe - ⭐️ ⭐️

This dark, why choose romance featuring Peter Pan and the Lost Boys was incredibly disappointing. It was badly written, the characters weren’t developed enough to be unique so all of their POV’s blended together and it was just bad. I wanted to like it so much because of my love of the story of Peter Pan however, I did not. Notable & Quotable - “we are the lost boys & there’s plenty of lost pussy looking to be found.”

Death’s Obsession by Avina St. Graves - ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ .5

I really enjoyed this grim reaper dark romance. I think it handled grief in an honest way and the fmc wasn’t overtly stupid. There were a few things that left my confused like “how could the grim reaper be texting?” but ultimately, I sidestepped those because it was just a fun time. Notable & Quotable - “when my dark storm summons me with the promise of letting me taste her, I come” or “use your words” (god help me on that one)

His to Keep by Lydia Goodfellow - ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

This isn’t so much a dark romance as it is a YA dark fiction with a romance laced in and all things considered, it was decent. It was a on Wattpad before it became a published book and the sadistic priest story line is always fun but the ending felt really rushed. Notable & Quotable - “I don’t think it’s butterflies you’re meant to feel when you kiss someone. It’s fire. Because you’re meant to burn. Burn in the depths of hell like all sinners do.”

The Pucking Wrong Number by C.R. Jane - ⭐️

Oh god help us all, this hockey slash stalker romance was a bowl of mayo left out in the sun in book form. This trainwreck started when a hockey superstar accidentally texted the wrong number - gasp - and ended up speaking to and becoming obsessed with a 19 year old cardboard person. The writing was bad and choppy, the characters were detestable, no thank you. Notable & Quotable - “Would I ever get used to that, everyone wanting him? I just needed to remind myself of his cock tattoo. None of them had that.” (FMC inner thoughts after MMC got her name tattooed on his dick for no reason.)

Sweet Inferno by Eliot Rose - ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

Last but not least, we have a monster romance between a curvy, sexual fire witch and a shifter wolf that was just a ball of fun. This was a novella and book 1 in a series that I absolutely plan to continue reading and I just really liked the vibes and the characters were cute and it was just good. Hooray for having a good experience! Notable & Quotable - “Will you have me? Will you open and allow me to please you until dawn?”

Please know that I understand that everyone is different and what works for some, won't work for others and books are no exception to this rule. My dark romance reading journey may not look like your dark romance reading journey, but we are going to have fun.

When I joined BookTok over a year ago, I kept seeing all these dark romance titles ALL over my FYP and I wanted to be a part of it! I really, really did. I like dark subject matter, I usually reserve those themes for horror and thrillers but I was curious about exploring those things in a different way. However... after reading a few of the more popular dark romance titles - Haunting Adeline, The Wild, Promises & Pomegranates, The Pawn and the Puppet - I started to think that this just wasn't my thing. I found something to hate in every single book, craft aside but I learned a lot about my tastes. For example, I don't like mafia books, I am sensitive to repetition, I am also not a fan of rape romanticization or incest. You know, casual things you didn't really know until you ~knew~ you know?

In spite of all my failures, I still believe that decently written, well constructed, dark romance books with intriguing characters, cohesive story telling and good spice exist and I am prepared to do the work to find them. For you and for me!

My name is Natalie and I am on a quest!

This quest soft launched over a year ago when Hannah and I began our aggressive buddy reading but it really took shape when I started my YouTube channel in the wake of one of the grossest, most irresponsible books I've ever read, The Wild by K Webster, the full rant review can be found on my YouTube.

Upon making this type of video - the rant reviews - I realized that I could cover multiple bases at once. I could explore the dark romance genre, figure out what I like/dislike/loathe, work toward my reading goal AND make content that people enjoy. It's a home run idea!

Now the journey has begun but I needed a way to stay organized. So like the sporadically inspired Capricorn that I am, I made a spreadsheet to keep tabs on what I read, what I thought and if I recommend it or not. I made it accessible so you can partake in the fun as well, just click here to be taken to the google sheet. I You can view it and get some new recs or you can go to File>Make a Copy and copy the format of the sheet into your own google drive so you can make your own list!

If you have any dark romance recs, please leave them in the comments. I am always looking for my next read! P.S. I hope you enjoy me and my husband in the above picture, that AI stuff is fun :P

A Few Things to Keep in Mind for my Wild review: This video contains spoilers, opinions and shit talking. I do not like this book, I had several problems with it both structurally and spiritually. DO NOT TAKE MY OPINIONS PERSONALLY. It isn't personal, this book was just god awful and we can be grown ups and just agree to disagree. If you can't do that, just don't watch it. I detailed the trigger warnings at 00:03:42 but be warned, this book is an incest romance novel including but not limited to the following triggers - Incest, Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Miscarriage, Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, Demonization of Mental Illness, Grooming, Spousal Abuse, Parentification, Spousification, Molestation, Trauma, Child Sexual Abuse and Romanticization of Incest. All of these are made worse by the fact that the author FLAT OUT ASKED HER READERS NOT TO SHARE WHAT THE TRIGGERS WERE (more on that in the video)

A year ago, July 2022, I blindly began reading an incest love story... How and why? Great questions. The short answer is manipulative marketing but the longer version is that the book was making the rounds on BookTok and everyone was talking about it while saying nothing. I was new to the online book community, I fell for it figuring "how bad can it be?!" to which I was quickly humbled and subsequently enraged.

The author not only didn't provide trigger warnings on her "warning"page but at the end of the book, in the note to readers, she intentionally requested that everyone "keep your spoilers to a minimum" so as not to deter people from "an unconventional, but beautiful love story” about a 40 year old father who starts banging his 16 year old daughter.

Disgusted doesn't even begin to cover how I felt. I ran to YouTube so I could yell about it but upon hearing the news that K Webster is continuing to write books in this series (more specifically, a short story 20 years in the future that “gives you a glimpse into their happily ever after and a peek at their many children”) I knew I was still angry and could do a better job at talking about it.

My initial rage review:

https://youtu.be/UtCEXqRhG9k

Same rage, more receipts, one year later:

https://youtu.be/1ZqI0ZMyEOE

I was especially inspired to yell again by the fact that she didn't provide trigger warnings in this bullshit either. Love that for us. It was gross but I tried to be mindful about the topics while bringing some levity with jokes and shit talking. I hope you enjoy (as much as one can enjoy incest romance, that is) YEESH

A Few Things to Keep in Mind for my Haunting Adeline review: This video contains spoilers, opinions and shit talking. I do not like this book, I had several problems with it both structurally and spiritually. DO NOT TAKE MY OPINIONS PERSONALLY. It isn't personal, this book was just god awful and we can be grown ups and just agree to disagree. If you can't do that, just don't watch it. I detailed the trigger warnings at 00:08:10 but be warned, this book contains dark themes including but not limited to rape, sexual assault, romanticizing rape/SA, stalking, harassment, pedophilia, sex trafficking and gratuitous violence surrounding all these things just to name a few. There was quite a bit of antisemitism woven into this story, Carlton has apologized to the Jewish community and removed/edited out those things but the copy of this book I read and reviewed was one of the earlier editions THEREFORE it still included the antisemitic themes and actions. If you are Jewish and don't feel like dealing with this bullshit today, best to skip it. No hard feelings.

A few months ago, TikTok nudged me blindly down a dark road. A road lined with qanon fanfic, romanticization of rape/sexual assault, bad writing and pussy weeping. A road I thought I would die on. A few months ago, I started reading Haunting Adeline by H.D. Carlton.

Watch my full Haunting Adeline review below! NSFW

https://youtu.be/9-vcyxfFVHE

Clearly, I had a lot to say - the video ended up being close to 3 hours long - but I will sum it up for you.

I found no enjoyment in reading this. Every page turned felt like I was moving backwards somehow. The writing was cringey, trying way too hard and poorly executed which only added to the overall intolerability. The plot somehow managed to have so much going on while consistently giving us nothing. It felt entirely underdeveloped because clearly, all the author's energy went into extensively detailing all of our MMC's encounters with the pedophile rings as a way of redeeming him as he proceeds to stalk and rape our FMC into submission for over 500 pages. Naturally, that wouldn't leave a lot of energy and time to devote to, oh, I don't know, character development, cohesive story telling, editing? There were no ghosts, a side quest that added absolutely nothing to the story and could've been removed entirely without affecting the story in any way and a bunch of romanticizing abuse.

I would recommend this book to anyone who prefers their MMC's slathered in qanon vigilante porn with a side of rape romanticization and their FMC's coated in a thick layer of try hard, edgy girl energy turned up to an 11.

I would recommend this book to people who have 0 triggers and don't need to critically engage with their books to have a good time.

I would recommend this book to my dog Scooter, who died in 2007, because nothing can hurt him anymore.

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ What I Liked: weird but relatable coming of age, quick read

What I Didn't: weird male teacher, weird teen girl stuff, cut and dry writing that doesn't always appeal to me

TW: Blood, Antisemitism, Religious bigotry, Bullying, Body shaming, Fatphobia, Misogyny, Adult/minor relationship, Injury/Injury detail

For whatever reason, I never read any Judy Blume books until this year. I started with Forever... and now I have moved onto Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret and while 35 is a strange age a to start enjoying controversial middle grade literature, I believe it's better late than never. Not only have I survived age 12 but I now have two kids around the same age; I got to enjoy the emotions coming from all sides!

I read it in one sitting, it was easy to get through and the plot was relatable enough while also being a bit silly at times. These are preteen girls though, so that's par for the course. After reading it, I went to see the movie this week with a friend and we pretty much cried the entire time. There's a lot to unpack.

Overview

Margaret is an almost 12 year old girl when her family (Barbara and Herb) decides to mover her out of NYC and into New Jersey and away from her paternal grandma, Sylvia. As the story unfolds, we find out that Sylvia and Herb are Jewish while Barbara was raised by devout Christians who disowned her when she married Herb. When Margaret finds out about the move, she is upset but after they arrive, she quickly becomes part of a secret group of girls who are obsessed with growing boobs, boys and getting their periods.

The Book

The book, originally published in 1970's, paints a great pictures of life in the suburbs from the vantage point of a young girl who is trying to make sense of her life, the world around her and her body. Blume's writing style is very to the point with little to no fluff and this book is no exception. She tells the story very plainly but the story has a lot of heart in itself because it reminded me of my own childhood and I can imagine that when other preteens read it, they feel seen in the pages. The book has good bones.

The Movie

The film which premiered on April 28, 2023, did a great job of bringing the definitive writing to life in an endearing, evocative way. The perfectly cast Abby Ryder Fortson as Margaret and Rachel McAdams did a fantastic job as her mother, Barbara. Benny Safdie as Herb was extremely lovable and kind. Kathy Bates as his mom and Margaret's grandma, Sylvia, was genius. Everyone did such a fantastic job of bringing this classic story to life. If the book was good bones, the film was good everything else.

Comparatively, I think the movie did a lot of heavy lifting for me as far as enjoyment. I liked the book initially - even if I was grown when I read it - but I remember what it was like to be a tween girl, watching everyone else grow up and being so impatient to join them, talking to god and never feeling like he heard me and having to figure that out on my own. The cast was impeccable, they made me fall in love with them. I liked that they omitted the creep factor of the adult male teacher in the movie too, that made me dislike him less. He was still weird and pushy towards Margaret about religion and her using it as a topic for her paper, but that may just be the atheist in me taking the mic. If one of my kids' teachers was talking to them about religion, I'd have issues THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING!

My favorite part of the movie - and the biggest change I noticed from book to film - had to be the fact that Sylvia (grandma) came back and crashed the dinner with the other grandparents. I wanted her to show up so badly when I read the book and my wish was granted. Again, how great is Kathy Bates in literally everything she ever does?!

I really think the movie was a perfect adaptation to an already modern classic. It filled in the gaps that the book left wide open, it smoothed out some of the more unsavory bits and gave me a more familiar look at these characters. I connected to every generation and their struggles.

A side note before I leave you...

Judy Blume's marketing team reached out to me a bit before her new documentary was set to air and sent me copies of some of her most controversial books, Margaret being one of them. When I tell you I called everyone I knew and told them about this, I mean it. Judy Blume and her books are legendary, beloved and as infamous as they are popular, and they sent some to me!? It was one of those bookish vault moments that you really want to sit in and enjoy while it's happening so I wanted to share that with you too.

Books are magic and so are you!

HAVE YOU READ THIS BOOK?WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE JUDY BLUME BOOK?

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ .75Pros: creepy small town, ominous water-centric dread, likable characters

Cons: had some unresolved and unanswered questions, kind of anticlimactic

TW: Child death, Racism, Blood, Gun violence, Kidnapping, Murder, Terminal illness, Medical content, Stalking

I got an early copy of We Don't Swim Here from the publisher and I'm beyond thankful because this was such a cool YA horror and a great book to kick off a spooky summer! I've never read anything by Vincent Tirado but after reading this, I won't hesitate to try more from them in the future!

Overview

This novel is dual POV, split between cousins Bronwyn and Anais. Bronwyn is a young Black girl who loves to swim but her family has decided to move to be closer to her grandmother who is in hospice. They move to Hillsides - Bronwyn's father's childhood town and a town where no one swims. Anais is Bronwyn's cousin who has lived in Hillsides her entire life. She is very guarded and determined to toe the line when it comes to the town's secrets and rituals in order to keep everyone safe.

Over the course of their time together, Anais tries to keep Bronwyn safe, despite Bronwyn continuing to ask questions that could put everyone in danger.

Minor Spoilers

I really enjoyed the two main characters, Anais and Bronwyn, even though they were very different from one another. I loved that Anais was determined to do her best to protect everyone she cared for, as misguided as she ultimately was. I loved that Bronwyn was set on getting to the bottom of things even after being discouraged from prying.

If you are new here, it's no secret that I love ghost stories and this was no exception. When Sweetie came to "possess" Bronwyn, I liked that Bronwyn was open to "being her witness" and hearing her out without being hateful and quick to judge. At the same time... she is literally killing people through Bronwyn's possession so that is conflicting at best. That being said, I also liked that Bronwyn promised to show Sweetie the town and take her to swim. I know the ghost was vengeful and killed people, blah blah blah, but I loved her the most?! I realize my own hypocrisy.

There were some aspects of everything that didn't make sense (like the ballot box at the beginning of the book) There were also a few things I wanted just a bit more from. I wish the relationship between Sweetie and LaLa (the girls' grandma) had been explored a bit more. I think the entire history of the town's aversion to water, their rituals, the sacrifices, etc. could've been explored way more than it was, elevating the story and giving more of a glimpse into why and how the town had gotten to this point.

Thanks again to Sourcebooks for sending me a copy of this. I think it's a pretty solid little spooky story, great for a summer by the pool, ironically. I would recommend this to anyone looking for a not too heavy, spooky time in creepy small town. I think it'd be a good place to start if you are new to horror but not trying to wreck your whole week with unspeakable gore and grossness.

Also, please enjoy my GoodReads review and follow me there if you'd like! This review is a great summary of all the things I plan to discuss at length below.

HAVE YOU READ THIS BOOK?WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?

I am almost certain that fanfics will be a recurring theme on here so consider this volume 1 of infinity. I wish I could say that I have been into fanfic since my Myspace days, but I can't. I was too busy being a menace to all who knew me to participate in the wonders of fan-fiction. However, there is no time like the present, so let me show you what I'm reading this month!

Fix Your Attitude by Kassanovella

Synopsis: You’re an engineer, stationed at Starkiller. You’re desperate for recognition in your career, but issues with your assignment end up making you the clean-up crew, instead. Your annoyance with Kylo Ren lands you into some hot water. How many messes is he going to make you responsible for?

So this was the first fanfic I ever remember reading back in 2020 when I first started leaning into TikTok as a way of dissociating.

It is Reylo and reader-insert, as it should be! You can add it on GoodReads and it's super spicy, so prepare yourselves. I fucking love Kylo Ren (and Adam Driver in general, but I am trying to be chill about it)

Manacled by SenLinYu

Synopsis: Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Hermione Granger has an Order secret, lost but hidden in her mind, so she is sent as an enslaved surrogate to the High Reeve until her mind can be cracked.

This is Dramione fanfiction + Handmaid's Tale and it has ruined me entirely. It is extremely dark, I do not say this lightly. As dark as it is, it is also beautiful not only in storyline and execution but the artwork too. At one point, I turned a page and was met with a piece of artwork and started screaming, crying, throwing up.

I finished this a couple weeks ago, I am trying to bully Hannah into reading it too and I am seriously considering a re read. Yes, already. You can add it on GoodReads too!

Peeta's Games by Igsygrace

Synopsis: The Hunger Games from Peeta's point of view. This follows the original work as closely as possible and much of the dialogue is taken from the original and owned entirely by Suzanne Collins.

After I finished Manacled, I somehow found myself on Hunger Games TikTok? I wasn't mad about it, I love The Hunger Games. I first read them back in 2012 when I was a stay at home mom of 2 under 2. I remember tearing through these after the babies went to bed and loving every page.

Fast forward to current day and a few weeks ago I decided to re read the series. Not long after I finished the first book, this fanfic came across my FYP. It is The Hunger Games but told from Peeta's POV... Sign. Me. Up.

This one isn't explicit (thank god, these are children) and I am only a few chapters in but I am excited about it. I can never have enough Peeta content. Oh and, you can add this to your lists on GoodReads!

Breath Mints Battle Scars by Onyx_and_Elm

Synopsis: For a moment, she's almost giddy. Because Draco Malfoy's been ruined by this war and he's as out of place as she is and — yes, he has scars too. He's got an even bigger one. She wonders whether one day they'll compare sizes.

Ok, this is my latest Dramione download and I haven't started it yet but I trust that it's good. I mean, look at the cover, look at the quote! If I enjoy it half as much as I enjoyed Manacled, I will be thrilled.

This one is marked as explicit and takes place in their 8th year at Hogwarts. I am stressed and excited. This one is also listed on GoodReads, love that for us. The artwork for this one is gorgeous too.

If you have any fanfics you've read and LOVED, please, I beg you, send them my way.

I am working on a blog post about the best ways to read fanfic but in the meantime, go to the fanfic page, click "entire work" at the top, then click download and choose your format. That should let you download the fic and import it into your Books or Kindle apps. Happy reading!

Author Chat w/ Costanza Casati

Scheduled: May 3, 2023 at 3:00 PM to 4:00 PM, CDT

Location: IG Live c/o @bookclubshq

Come hang out while Natalie hosts an Author's Chat with Costanza Casati about her debut historical fiction novel about the infamous ruler of Ancient Greece, Clytemnestra!

A few months ago, I was approached by BookClubs - the website we use to host and organize Weirdo Book Club - and invited to lead an Author Chat! Every month, they select a book to read and then hold an interview/chat with the author and I was selected to be the interviewer this month for Clytemnestra! I said yes, duh. How cool?!

I got my copy in the mail and dug in. I enjoyed this book so, so much. I have always been fascinated by Greek mythology and the historical events of Ancient Greece so I had high hopes for this one. I feel confident in saying that my expectations were met; Clytemnestra is a brilliant and beautifully written historical fictional take on the infamous queen Clytemnestra.

I will be hosting the Author Chat on Wednesday, May 3 at 3 PM Central Standard Time on Instagram Live with @bookclubshq so make sure to give them a follow and mark your calendars so you don't miss it.

I will post my full review over the next few weeks but for now, I just wanted to tell you about this cool thing I'm doing. I hope to see you there! And heck, go grab a copy of Clytemnestra. I really enjoyed it and think she did a beautiful job!

A Few Things to Keep in Mind: Please consider this a NON-recommendation, a taking one for the team, so to speak. I want to be clear when I say that I recommend these books to NO ONE. Reads with Rachel did an incredible job covering the books, the author and her problematic, harmful depictions; I can't recommend her video enough. Watch Rachel's video here ! These books contain highly inaccurate, disrespectful misrepresentations of mental illnesses, namely dissociative identity disorder. D.I.D. - like most mental illnesses - is often misunderstood and therefore, stigmatized by society and what Brandi did in these books perpetuates that. As a person with PTSD, myself, it is not my goal to contribute any more harm to an already marginalized community. My reviews are intended to highlight and make fun of the shitty writing and the ableist, ignorant, harmful portrayals done by the author At one point, the character with D.I.D. tells us that one of his alters is a "fictional...god of the sea" who can breathe underwater. That is simply just... not how D.I.D. works. It is an extreme caricaturization with no basis in reality and further stigmatizes an already misunderstood disorder. I am making fun of the book and the author's misrepresentation, not the very real individuals who live with D.I.D. In both videos, there are a ton of trigger warnings that I list in the beginning of each. However, in the rant review of the second book The Master and the Marionette, starting at the 32:26 minute mark, I read a highly graphic excerpt featuring gratuitous sexual assault/rape, fatphobia, torture/violence against women and mysoginy. This lasts from 32:26-33:33 so feel free to skip it if you would rather not hear about it. Take care of yourself first! ♥️

A few months ago, I read and reviewed the first book in this series, The Pawn and the Puppet. It was atrocious. From the misrepresentation/romanticization of mental illness and the harmful Trans rep, to the shitty characters and horrific world building... it is one of the worst things I've ever read.

https://youtu.be/_bqMZmeQ86o

Now, months later and against my better judgement… I’ve read and reviewed the second book in the series and spoiler alert: it didn’t get any better. Some may say it got worse. My video editing skills did improve though, so I hope that this can somehow make this review into a somewhat enjoyable experience.

https://youtu.be/duSJ-FveBkk

I said I wouldn't read the third book just because I hate this so much BUT if you want me to... I will consider it. For you, I will.

Over the past year, I have transformed myself into a book reviewer who gets to enjoy books prior to their release dates just so I can tell y'all about them. This brings me endless amounts of joy, I can't even begin. Here are the books releasing in May that I am thrilled to read! (reviews to follow)

We Don't Swim Here by Vincent Tirado - May 2

Queer, YA horror about a young girl who moves to a town that is haunted by its history, a town where no one goes in the water.

Graveyard of Lost Children by Katrina Monroe - May 9

Queer horror novel where a new mom begins to hear whispering from the well and grows more and more suspicious that her newborn daughter is actually a changeling.

Blue Skies by T.C. Boyle - May 16

A family drama plus eco-thriller about an influencer who can't seem to get anything she wants. When she impulsively decides to get a pet snake to wear as "living jewelry" she sets off a dire chain of events that affects everyone around her.

The Luis Ortega Survival Club by Sonora Reyes - May 23

Queer YA fiction about an autistic girl who gets into a romantic predicament with a boy, Luis Ortega. Shortly after the rumors start flying, a note appears in her locker inviting her to join a group dedicated to exposing Luis for the predator he is.