Catherine Forster's Blog

IndieReader Interview

Sample question:
What’s the main reason someone should really read this book?

I wrote the book so that those struggling with bully or its long-term effects would not feel alone. I want the targeted to know that what they are experiencing, or encountered in the past, is indeed abuse. I was told that bullying was a fact of life, part of growing up, that one would be stronger for it. This is not the case. Individuals who are the target of severe bullying (whether physical or verbal) are more likely to struggle with their relationships, suffer from depression, addiction, and suicide. It is my hope that Chasing Tarzan will help young readers seek positive solutions, and begin the process of fortifying their own voice. For those still suffering from trauma inflicted long ago, I hope the book shines a light on that past, laying bare the truth––the mistreatment was not their fault, and they did not deserve it.

for the full read: https://indiereader.com/2023/02/ir-ap...

A young girl turns to fantasy to escape from bullying at school and overwhelming responsibilities at home.

CHASING TARZAN, Catherine Forster’s memoir of her journey of self-discovery and growth, tells the story of a young girl’s struggles with bullying and its impact on her life and relationships. In the 1960s, young Catherine is subjected to relentless abuse at school. As a way to cope, she turns inward and creates a rich fantasy life in which she swings through the jungle with Tarzan, her favorite matinee action movie hero. At the same time, Catherine is overwhelmed by adult responsibilities as the second of eight children and burdened with caring for her younger siblings as “Mommy’s little helper.” Pushed to her emotional limits, she becomes angry and lashes out at her siblings, particularly her younger sister. Concerned with the person she is becoming, Catherine decides to escape for real before she ends up hurting someone or herself. She finds salvation in a high school exchange program that allows her to create a new identity in a new town, school, family, and country. She becomes a “passport celebrity” in New Zealand, where no one knows about her history. However, her host mother, or “Kiwi mum,” sees through Catherine’s façade, helping her find the strength and courage to face her fears and embrace her true self.

While its premise suggests a straightforward, inspirational memoir of overcoming adversity and the power of imagination, CHASING TARZAN tells a more complicated, challenging story. Catherine’s fantasy world may provide solace from her painful reality but ultimately changes nothing. And her journey to self-acceptance is no magical transformation but an accumulation of small moments of reflection and insight. Forster renders this journey with a natural storyteller’s gift for vivid details and beautifully evocative language, often to heartbreaking effect—as when young Catherine describes a family photograph, comparing her mother’s silky hair that “nuzzles her shoulders” with her “grotesque” infant self with “fat cheeks that rolled into more fat.” And Catherine’s arrival in New Zealand begins the book’s most entertaining section, full of little anecdotes, such as her first encounter with Maori culture, that could stand alone as a fine piece of travel writing. Forster notes in a preface that CHASING TARZAN began as a series of drawings, and the book includes striking color illustrations that provide an arresting commentary on the narrative. Readers grappling with similar themes of growth and self-acceptance will find it an insightful and resonant read.

A candid and keenly observed story of childhood trauma and its ripple effects, Catherine Forster’s CHASING TARZAN is by turns heartrending and inspirational, told with a straightforward honesty that never becomes trite or emotionally manipulative.

~Edward Sung for IndieReader

I am thrilled to share the Chasing TArzan review by KIRKUS:

An eloquent remembrance delivered with visceral emotion.

A detailed memoir of a childhood and adolescence marked by the effects of bullying.

In 1962, Forster, the second of her parents’ eight children, was 7 years old and had already lived in “four towns, two states, and six houses that I could remember.” Her father was a retail salesman who constantly switched jobs as he worked his way up the corporate ladder. Now it was time for another move, a cross-country road trip from Georgia to her birthplace of Washington state. Forster writes that she had one bully in her life: her older brother. Their relationship was “a reluctant marriage of playmates and antagonists,” she says, noting that over time, his physical and verbal jabs became more hostile and painful. When the family settled in Longview, Washington, Forster was enrolled at St. Rose, a Catholic school, where she met another boy who taunted her incessantly about her weight. Neither Forster’s parents nor her teachers appreciated the emotional damage she suffered, she says; she had fantasies of Tarzan sweeping in to whisk her away from the verbal assaults. Eventually, she found new strategies for dealing with her bully by ignoring him, effectively building a protective emotional wall: “I was proving that he could not reach me. It took me a long time to realize that no one else would be able to either.” This work is packed with vivid vignettes from Forster’s fantasy life alongside real-life moments in her childhood. The latter occasionally go on too long, but they ably capture the life of a young girl seeking escape. At 16, she scored placement as a yearlong foreign exchange student in New Zealand, where she was warmly embraced by a supportive family. In this section, her stories become buoyant and filled with interesting cultural tidbits. Readers may be as pleasantly surprised, as a gregarious, popular, and socially adept teenager emerges out of the shell she’d carefully constructed. (Includes occasional black-and-white drawings by the author.)

WOW: How did your memoir change from first draft to final draft?

CF: My first draft was a 700-page memory dump. I thought it was a book, but my first beta reader informed me it was at least five: a coming of age story, a parenting book, a travel book, an exposé on relationships, and a cookbook! Through her kindhearted counsel I discovered that the first draft was actually research. I started over. The second draft was three-hundred pages and radically stripped down, at least I thought it was. After another round of beta readers, I wrote draft three and sent it to a professional editor. Her response was devastating, “ It’s not a memoir, or even a book; it’s three books: coming of age, parenting, and relationship book.” Apparently, I’d only removed two of the five books.

When my daughter was born, I vowed she would not suffer at the hands of bullies––I would prevent it––but the bullying prevailed despite my efforts. During her twelfth year, we spent three weeks on safari in Africa. Africa awakened memories of my childhood confident and protector, Tarzan, and the bully who made my life unbearable. The manuscript shifted between Africa and my childhood memories and struggles with relationships caused by bullying. I thought draft three was a book on the long-term effects of bullying, but the editor found it to be a motley collection of experiences; well written, with a strong voice, but still not a book.

Feeling I’d embarked on a foolish journey, I put the book away, but it would not leave me alone. I re-read all the notes from beta readers and the editor, and began again. One comment by a reader stuck with me, “Why not take one storyline and dive deep, tell all of it. Don’t try and merge stories, just take one theme. When you’re done, then decide if linking the piece with another storyline is needed or if it stands alone.” I followed her advice. I chose the coming of age story, for the sole reason that reader after reader said they missed the child and the teenaged girl when she wasn’t the focus of the story. And I dove deeper than I ever thought possible, exposing incidents I’d long ago banished, tucked away in an impenetrable vault in my head. Only five chapters survived from the previous draft, but I’d found CHASING TARZAN. A further three drafts would follow, each sharpening but not altering the story.

WOW: I can relate to how you developed a rich fantasy life to escape reality around you. How did that influence your pursuit of creative arts?

CF: Creative pursuits were natural to me from the first day I was given a crayon and told not to color outside the lines. I continued to color outside the lines, but only in my head. Growing up , I was drawn to the beauty I saw in objects, prompting me to experiment with: painting, stained glass, knitting, crocheting, macramé, beadwork, printmaking, you name it I tried it. I made stuff, however, the most creative enterprise took place in my head. My inner world was quixotic, a place where there were no boundaries, no rules, no it’s-done-like-this.

Despite a rich demonstration of artistic interests––our home was flush with my art projects––my parents did not support a career in the arts. Art was viewed as a hobby. My first degree was in Microbiology. After seven years working in hospital labs, I earned an MBA at the London Business School. This would lead to a fulfilling period in business, one replete with travel, but I wondered whether I had something to offer in the arts. I left and entered art school, earning a Masters in fine Arts. This is the career I was always meant to have, yet there is a synergy with my earlier endeavors. I used a lens at the beginning and still do, exchanging a microscope for a camera. Moreover, every undertaking has been about solving puzzles, discovering what lies beneath the surface. My writing, my visual art projects, and my films are all a search for answers, discover the facets of cause and effect.

WOW: This memoir of yours is truly a story about overcoming obstacles. What do you hope readers take away from reading it?

CF: In the beginning, I wrote the book so that my daughter would not feel alone in her struggle with bullying. I wanted her to know what she was experiencing was abuse, treatment she did not deserve. My writing group helped me recognize the universal themes of the book. Through them, I decided to write for a broader audience.

Like many children, perhaps you too, I was told that bullying was a fact of life, part of growing up, that one would be stronger for it. Studies show this is not the case. Individuals who were the target of severe bullying (whether physical or verbal) are more likely to struggle with their relationships, suffer from depression, addiction, and suicide during adulthood. Moreover, the abuse doesn’t stop when the tormentor stops. In the process of writing Chasing Tarzan, I learned that I became my own bully. Once I moved to another school and left my bully behind, his shadow followed me. He had trained me well. The sound of his voice echoed even in his absence.

I did not want this for my daughter, or anyone’s child. I know through personal experience and recent studies agree, that the abuse need not define an individual if they know they are loved and are undeserving of the abuse. It is my hope that young readers will know that there are positive options available to them, and that they do not have to resort to self-medication or other dire actions.

As I wrote Chasing Tarzan, I discovered that despite being left to my own defenses, I was not entirely alone. A champion can ebb the long-term effects of bullying. Someone who believes in you, stands up for you, validates you’re worthy of love––deserving of nothing less––can make all the difference. My adult readers have given me hope that the book will create advocates I call angels. Several readers who are teachers have requested this book for their school, and their school counselors. The book resonates with mothers raising children, and with women rethinking their own childhood story. I am humbled by the discoveries they’ve shared with me.

WOW: What was your writing process like when working on your memoir?

CF: I am an early morning writer. I start at 6AM, sometimes earlier, before the world intrudes. I begin by reading. I like to start my writing sessions with good sentences and vibrant words in my head. So as not to be overly influenced by one writers voice, I read at least three books and am conscious in doing so, studying choices the author is making. Next, I read my own work, starting with the previous chapter. This usually requires a bit of editing, which further immerses me in my own characters and their universe.

I do not write in a coffee shop or public space. I need absolute silence. No music. No overheard talking. I can stand a leaf blower outside, but not for long. I have a room in my house that is quiet, the surroundings calm––no clutter. I write in a guest bedroom not my studio, that’s for art making. As I read, I sit in a comfortable chair and use a lap desk to write on my MacBook.

I write until it’s 11:30 or noon, have lunch, then go for a walk. It is in nature that I resolve writing issues, or arrest fresh ideas. I return to the book, but only briefly, jotting down ideas or fixing perplexing problems. I have learned that this is not the time to write, my brain has had it by then. For me, it’s time to reflect. I’ll take notes on my iPhone, but nothing else. Not until I’m back in my writing chair the following morning.

WOW: What are you working on now that you can tell us about?

CF: I’m writing a work of fiction, SORRY CAKES FOR SUPPER. The story alternates between the main character Judyth’s week with her granddaughter and to flashbacks of Judyth’s childhood, beginning in 1914 and ending in 1920 when she meets her future husband Ed. The journey takes her from a joyful child to a reticent adult, yet it is the course of one week spent with her granddaughter that is most life-changing.

Approaching her fiftieth birthday, time is playing tricks on Judyth’s mind. Most days, she suppresses the memories of a secret daughter and the death of a subsequent child she had with her Ed. She is content with the life she has created, where emotions are kept at arm’s length, until her son shows up on her doorstep and deposits his six-year old daughter. The child has stopped talking for no apparent reason. Her distress and ghost-like presence shatter Judyth’s carefully crafted world.

Writing fiction is a new world to me. I am on my fourth draft, and have weathered bewildering and hard-hitting critiques from my editor. Thanks to writing CHASING TARZAN, I am accustomed to tough criticism. I am learning the nuts and bolts of fiction from the ground up. It’s exasperating and exhilarating. Writing is rewriting!

I'm thrilled to share a podcast interview about Chasing Tarzan, with Lu Ann of Rockin Books Reviews.
Check it out here:
https://rockinbookreviews.com/podcast...

While enjoying my morning coffee and reading the Sunday paper, I stumbled on an article about bullying. The title, The Long-term Effects of Bullying, caught my eye. The piece examined multiple studies conducted in the U.S. and abroad, all revealing surprisingly similar results:
• individuals who were the target of severe bullying (whether physical or verbal) were more likely to struggle with their relationships, suffer from depression, addiction, and suicide during adulthood
• bullies who were also bullied suffered similarly to their victims, and were more likely to be incarcerated
• bullies who were not bullied tended to continue their bulling behavior as adults.

I identified with the bullied. I too had struggled with relationships––trust being a huge issue––and had suffered bouts of depression. The findings made utmost sense to me! A truly ah-ha moment. I had buried those painful memories––seven years of relentless bullying both at home and at school––long ago, but this article had me thinking. I’d believed the bullying was my fault––there had to be something wrong with me, otherwise, why was I targeted? Furthermore, I believed it was best to forget, an episode that was over and done and should be buried.

Like many children, perhaps you too, I was told that bullying was a fact of life, part of growing up, that one would be stronger for it. This article suggested otherwise, and more crucially, it defined bullying as abuse, not a rite of passage.

I kept this article and hungrily searched for more evidence on the impact of bullying. I learned that the CDC now defines bullying as abuse, but only recently and in line with the US Anti Bullying Law of 2013. What took them so long? What was the impetus? School shootings––many of the perpetrators had been bullied. The Anti Bullying Law was a first step, and it launched a movement: zero tolerance bully programs in schools, but thanks to the rise of the internet, bullying has only escalated.

Moreover, the abuse doesn’t stop when the tormentor stops. In the process of writing Chasing Tarzan, I learned that I became my own bully. Once I moved to another school and left my bully behind, his shadow followed me. He had trained me well. The sound of his voice echoed even in his absence. His scoffs, his sneers, his scorn invaded my own internal voice, and I still hear him at times. Writing this book helped me reclaimed my voice, and I hope it will bring help others do the same.
I have also learned that in spite of the possible long-term effects of bullying, those who are victims of abuse do not have to be defined by their experience. A trusted advocate can diminish the effects of bullying. Several studies have confirmed this and I found it to be true. We must be vigilant, open our ears and eyes, and be aware that we each can make a difference, that we can have the power to raise a child’s spirit or unknowingly leave them forlorn and less able to grapple with their distress, or seek help.

When I walk through the halls of our children’s schools, I see anti-bullying posters everywhere. But kids don’t need posters, they need someone to reach out to––a parent, a teacher, a friend, or an astute stranger. I hope Chasing Tarzan can serve as a light for those who are suffering or have suffered bullying, guiding them to positive solutions, and helping them discover their inner strength.