Kent Wayne's Blog

Tomorrow, the entire Echo series—Echo 1, 2, 3, 4—is FREE on Kindle for five days!  (12/1-12/5) #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperback Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old  Here’s the paperback: Weapons of Old in paperback Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

The day after tomorrow, the entire Echo series—Echo 1, 2, 3, 4—is FREE on Kindle for five days!  (12/1-12/5) #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperback Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old  Here’s the paperback: Weapons of Old in paperback Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

In my opinion, the best journeys end with the visceral realization I’m fine right here, right now, and everywhere and anywhere I happen to be.

Weapons of Old has pushed my writing abilities to their limits.  It’s got fantasy-world pirates, creepy dungeon crawls, magic swords, nine-headed whips, dryads, giant battles, epic speeches, golems, existential philosophy, and a whole lot more!  I sincerely hope you enjoy my newest effort!  Both volume 1 of the saga (A Door into Evermoor), and Volume 2 (Weapons of Old) are available in paperback!  

 #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here:  Weapons of Old

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.   Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Paperback here:  Weapons of Old, paperback.  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   

Wait—what?  Men are spontaneously dropping dead?  Wait—WHAT?  I’m the last one alive?  Hold on—ZZRP—I just got teleported into a stadium-full of women, and they’re swarming me like fast-zombies from World War Z, leaping through the air with their mouths fully open, in an attempt to encompass my girthy upcurve?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

THANK YOU, GOD!!!

48 HOURS LATER…

Murrgh…need electrolytes…brain function…dropping…

Grammar Nazi Prime folds his hands behind his back, striding beside me and dipping his chin.  “Well.  What have we here.  The great author and award-winning Man Whore, rendered helpless by nonstop ejaculation.”

Urg.  Rog.  No think good.  Me look like zombie.  I once run and jump, eat Cheeto and dorito.  Now I lay down.  No eat.  No chew.  Too tired. 

“HA!”  He throw head back.  Laugh loud.  “I can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier!  Bought down by your greatest strength—your juicy veiny thick-ass upcurve!”

(Hm.  Seem like more description than necessary).

“Anyways,” he continue.  “Look at it now!”  He gesture with hand.

I look down at wiener.  Now look like burnt hamster tail.  No.  NO.  How could eighth wonder of world turn into blackened tiny nub???  Must do something.  Must act NOW.

I open eReader to Kent Wayne novel, activating special reality-bending power.  Magic flash. 

“God DAMMIT!”  Grammar Nazi Prime takes off running. 

My wiener expands a dozen yards, sweeping him off his feet and entangling his ankles. 

“No!”  He tries clawing the floor, but to no avail—I slowly but steadily drag him back toward me.  “PLEASE!”  Tears line his cheeks as he yanks on his legs, desperately trying to free them from my brutish womb-hammer. 

It shoots up his body, breaking joints and drawing screams as it wraps tightly around his knees and hips, his spine and arms.  As a uniquely phallic coup de grace, it shloops tightly over his dome, enveloping his head in its smeg-ridden folds. 

“AHGODNO!”  As smoke erupts from the hellish peen-helmet, a high-pitched shriek erupts from within.  “EEEEEEEEEEEEE—”  A second later, it abruptly cuts off.  My wiener retracts, revealing Grammar Nazi Prime’s flesh-stripped skull, smoking and ridden with slow-crawling embers. 

I hiss awkwardly through my clenched teeth.  Yeah he was a douche, but…

Nope!  That’s what you get for trynna turn my love of vajeen into a goddamn deathtrap!  Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

Has a pedantic, grammar-obsessed puddle of fermented douche-water tried to assassinate you?  Never fear!  Buy my books, activate their magic reality-bending powers, and grow your genitals into a limb-snapping face-melter! 

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Paperback here:  Weapons of Old, paperback.  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  [image error][image error] [image error]  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha!  All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.    Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Paperback here:  Weapons of Old, paperback. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1    [image error] [image error] [image error]

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  [image error][image error] [image error]  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited 

What the superspy-battle is happening, all you chic lethal assassins who’ve accosted your mortal nemesis in a high-rise elevator made of glass and steel and custom-built alloy, you’re exchanging punches/elbows/knees in the clinch and avoiding wild swipes with exotic knives while looking hella badass in your highly fashionable GQ businesswear, on pure instinct you hit him in the solar plexus causing him to gag and struggle for air, a second later you see a way to end this fight and end bust through the overhead hatch, pull down your pants and undies in one fell swoop, and unleashing the mother of all farts into the elevator cabin, your opponent starts screaming and begging for his mother, tears stream down your cheeks as you realize no one should die like this but what can you do the guy was trying to fucking stab you, holy shit your gaseous beefer is causing the metal to rust and the paint to peel, the inside of the elevator now resembles a decrepit-ass holdover from a civilization that’s several decades into a zombie apocalypse, meanwhile, your opponent is crying and whispering, begging you to stop, you break out in sobs because this is more inhumane than when that German stabbed the American at the end of Saving Private Ryan and gently shushed him as the knife went in and the life left his body—

What in the FUCK!  Just work on your overhand right or hit him with a liver shot!  Jesus fucking Christ!   

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  Paperback here:  Weapons of Old, paperback.  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperback Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Here’s the paperback: Weapons of Old in paperback Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1      

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!      #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Weapons of Old is available in paperback!  Here’s the link:  Weapons of Old in paperback.  I’ll advertise this daily until November 18, then it’ll be back to my regularly scheduled posting.  

 #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.   Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Paperback here:  Weapons of Old in paperback Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   

What the spider-monkey doggy-style is happening, all you sexual black belts who’re hitting it from behind while hunched over like Gollum, clenching your teeth as your sack bounces off the clit and elicits a series of ego-spiking moans, suddenly your left hamstring cramps the fuck up, veins pop out on your temples as you grunt-scream HRRRHHH and diligently keep thrusting, shit you’ve maxed out your electrolytes, the needle’s edging out of the red into the section labeled IMPENDING DOOM, doesn’t fucking matter, you gotta keep—OH-DEAR-JESUS there goes your other hamstring!  You throw your head back in silent agony, sinews on your neck straining like they’re about to burst like overtightened cables, mouth foaming like a rabid dog, a demonic-sounding gargle slips out from your mouth and she asks what’s wrong that’s the STRAW THAT BREAKS THE CAMEL’S BACK YOU START UGLY-CRYING LIKE WILL FERRELL AT HIS MID-2000S BEST—

What in the FUCK?!?  You gotta trains for them shits, fool!  No one attempts spider-monkey doggy-style without a solid carb-load and a three-month fight camp where you train to fuck like a kyphotic gargoyle!  Jesus fucking Christ!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing