Asghar Abbas's Blog - Posts Tagged "clues"
No more Teapots in Wonderland and Dead Rabbits.
I'm getting tea, don't you dare move an inch. When I come back, I want at least one of your thoughts, fresh and warm from your mind, made happy with the signature of your mouth. Okay, tea! Though usually, you have a better effect on me, you're so much a stronger drink, a blend of wonders. So don't move your pretty butt, stay put. But I wanna know a secret, you must give it to me OK? Share it with me. I'll stash it away, pocket it along with all the others.
I brew my tea from what's left of your luminous particles hanging in the air, just loitering there, and pour it into my black Celtic-themed mug from oh nine like you pour your entire existence into my skull.
In the polished hallway dull again, on my way en route routed to where you are, rooted and waiting, licking your chops. All of sudden, I'm teetering hobbling on one foot then the other, trying to balance my steaming mug hoping to prevent the tea from sloshing onto my bare feet. I stagger, gasping for clean air. I am flooded with a smell of pith that oddly reminds me of your smooth skin awaiting me like an ole lost and forgotten Braille manuscript, like a simplified chilled copy of Hypnerotomachia Poliphili waiting for my pleasure. That scent pummels me to the linoleum floor, leaving me winded and aged.
I unbent and hop around a little bit as if something was remembering me, as opposed to my remembering something suddenly. I stand there mouth agape, face contorting as your remaining airborne particles crumbles away. Now I'm hesitant, very much like a chiaroscurist shadow between your glowing seas and hitched bræths. Hey, at least I didn't use the word incandescent haha.
I am missing something now but I don't know what that is. Disconsonant words start exploding within me like memory exposing something that shines right back at me. Whispering in my chest, sibilant and incessant; these words are the Force that's awakening right now. Words stirring like moths then erupting scattering away.
Suddenly or maybe not so suddenly, the way back leading up to you, the well-trodden, weary path unfurling toward the TV-less living room, the road with you at the end of it doesn't seem all that appealing, appetizing, agreeable, or appeasing anymore. Your shimmering lazy confidence no longer assuaging me. You can keep your face on, I'm not interested in your mask now. I'm not gonna cross the Rubicon again for you, lady. You're a preacher no more, we can't fix this. I'm not old anymore.
Pivoting hard in the middle of the middle of the hallway, I turn turning my coat, even though I'm not wearing my black leather overcoat. Would be nice if I were in just that. Actually, on second thought scratch that. It wouldn't be nice at all, for I would stay.
Changing direction I turn around, turning away from you, clutching my hot mug of coffee. Yes, I turned tea into coffee. I can do that, one of my many useless gifts. Moving away from you, I purchase distance with my every stride. The opposite side welcoming me openly.
As I walk away the separation between us yawned further and further, and further away I go. I'm no longer choking on fevered urgency. I don't feel the need that if I didn't continue our kiss I wouldn't be here.
It's easy telling you I love you and have you all agog and gobbling me in two seconds flat. For the most part, I do mean it, or wait, was that for the most part, I don't even mean it. I can never tell the difference. So easy. There was a time when I would have thrown away those phials filled with dark amber liquid, potions to make you mine, and made you mine anyway. But I'm too old now and you are too wizened yet afresh wick eager to be licked and lit like the rain lights you up. There is still so much that I want to surprise you with, so much that I want to show you still, still want to fan the flames and feed that urge that makes you think I'm yours, tied on spit turning slowly, when the truth is I kinda need you so that I can remain fae, I need you to still believe in magic. I know it's a lot asking you to come to live within my head with me, and that is the need I don't need. It is the need that is burning me. I do love you, I do, but not right now. Not tonight.
And who are you? What are you anyway? You've been far too generous upon yourself; you went and extenuated yourself. The moment, the very moment I tell you that you are real, that you don't have to go down the rabbit hole, you became vague. But that's okay, it's fine by me. You were always a sillage of an idea rather than flesh and bones anyway.
I never wanted you in the first place, now that I need you I must cut you off, shut you out. Stab you right below your heart somewhere between your ribs, twist the bone-hilt knife, break and leave its blade in you, a kinder reminiscent of things I left inside you. I wouldn't want to know about you. Your feet are not cold but frozen and I want to thaw them but naw.
Aches or not, when I leave you, and I will, I am, I won't be saddened about it, but gladden as I make my exit.
Now I really wish I had my leather coat, it's really cold outside, the kind of cold that leaves bite marks on your body. I am naked in the snow and punching a dime-sized hole in the sky only a swollen moon rushes to cover me.
Te reto a que me dejes , por favor no lo hago . Permanecer . No vaya . Ven conmigo bebé .
I brew my tea from what's left of your luminous particles hanging in the air, just loitering there, and pour it into my black Celtic-themed mug from oh nine like you pour your entire existence into my skull.
In the polished hallway dull again, on my way en route routed to where you are, rooted and waiting, licking your chops. All of sudden, I'm teetering hobbling on one foot then the other, trying to balance my steaming mug hoping to prevent the tea from sloshing onto my bare feet. I stagger, gasping for clean air. I am flooded with a smell of pith that oddly reminds me of your smooth skin awaiting me like an ole lost and forgotten Braille manuscript, like a simplified chilled copy of Hypnerotomachia Poliphili waiting for my pleasure. That scent pummels me to the linoleum floor, leaving me winded and aged.
I unbent and hop around a little bit as if something was remembering me, as opposed to my remembering something suddenly. I stand there mouth agape, face contorting as your remaining airborne particles crumbles away. Now I'm hesitant, very much like a chiaroscurist shadow between your glowing seas and hitched bræths. Hey, at least I didn't use the word incandescent haha.
I am missing something now but I don't know what that is. Disconsonant words start exploding within me like memory exposing something that shines right back at me. Whispering in my chest, sibilant and incessant; these words are the Force that's awakening right now. Words stirring like moths then erupting scattering away.
Suddenly or maybe not so suddenly, the way back leading up to you, the well-trodden, weary path unfurling toward the TV-less living room, the road with you at the end of it doesn't seem all that appealing, appetizing, agreeable, or appeasing anymore. Your shimmering lazy confidence no longer assuaging me. You can keep your face on, I'm not interested in your mask now. I'm not gonna cross the Rubicon again for you, lady. You're a preacher no more, we can't fix this. I'm not old anymore.
Pivoting hard in the middle of the middle of the hallway, I turn turning my coat, even though I'm not wearing my black leather overcoat. Would be nice if I were in just that. Actually, on second thought scratch that. It wouldn't be nice at all, for I would stay.
Changing direction I turn around, turning away from you, clutching my hot mug of coffee. Yes, I turned tea into coffee. I can do that, one of my many useless gifts. Moving away from you, I purchase distance with my every stride. The opposite side welcoming me openly.
As I walk away the separation between us yawned further and further, and further away I go. I'm no longer choking on fevered urgency. I don't feel the need that if I didn't continue our kiss I wouldn't be here.
It's easy telling you I love you and have you all agog and gobbling me in two seconds flat. For the most part, I do mean it, or wait, was that for the most part, I don't even mean it. I can never tell the difference. So easy. There was a time when I would have thrown away those phials filled with dark amber liquid, potions to make you mine, and made you mine anyway. But I'm too old now and you are too wizened yet afresh wick eager to be licked and lit like the rain lights you up. There is still so much that I want to surprise you with, so much that I want to show you still, still want to fan the flames and feed that urge that makes you think I'm yours, tied on spit turning slowly, when the truth is I kinda need you so that I can remain fae, I need you to still believe in magic. I know it's a lot asking you to come to live within my head with me, and that is the need I don't need. It is the need that is burning me. I do love you, I do, but not right now. Not tonight.
And who are you? What are you anyway? You've been far too generous upon yourself; you went and extenuated yourself. The moment, the very moment I tell you that you are real, that you don't have to go down the rabbit hole, you became vague. But that's okay, it's fine by me. You were always a sillage of an idea rather than flesh and bones anyway.
I never wanted you in the first place, now that I need you I must cut you off, shut you out. Stab you right below your heart somewhere between your ribs, twist the bone-hilt knife, break and leave its blade in you, a kinder reminiscent of things I left inside you. I wouldn't want to know about you. Your feet are not cold but frozen and I want to thaw them but naw.
Aches or not, when I leave you, and I will, I am, I won't be saddened about it, but gladden as I make my exit.
Now I really wish I had my leather coat, it's really cold outside, the kind of cold that leaves bite marks on your body. I am naked in the snow and punching a dime-sized hole in the sky only a swollen moon rushes to cover me.
Te reto a que me dejes , por favor no lo hago . Permanecer . No vaya . Ven conmigo bebé .
