Umm Zakiyyah's Blog

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Daughter of American converts to Islam, Umm Zakiyyah, also known by her birth name Ruby Moore, is the internationally acclaimed, award-winning author of the If I Should Speak trilogy, Muslim Girl, Reverencing the Wombs That Broke You, and The Abuse of Forgiveness. She has written more than twenty-five books, including novels, short stories, and self-help. Her books are used in high schools and universities in the United States and worldwide, and her work has been translated into multiple languages. Her work has earned praise from writers, professors, and filmmakers. Her novel His Other Wife is now a short film.

Umm Zakiyyah has traveled the world training both first-time authors and published writers in story writing. Her clients include journalists, professional athletes, educators, and entertainers.

Dr. Robert D. Crane, advisor to former US President Nixon, said of Umm Zakiyyah, “…no amount of training can bring a person without superb, natural talent to captivate the reader as she does and exert a permanent intellectual and emotional impact.”

Professor K. Bryant of Howard University said of If I Should Speak, “The novel belongs to…a genre worthy of scholarly study.”

Umm Zakiyyah has a BA degree in Elementary Education, an MA in English Language Learning, and Cambridge’s CELTA (Certificate in English Language Teaching to Adults). She has more than fifteen years experience teaching writing in the United States and abroad and has worked as a consultant for Macmillan Education.

Umm Zakiyyah studied Arabic, Qur’an, Islamic sciences, ‘aqeedah, and tafseer in America, Egypt, and Saudi Arabia for more than fifteen years. She currently teaches tajweed (rules of reciting Qur’an) and tafseer.

In 2020, Umm Zakiyyah started the UZ Heart & Soul Care community in which she shares lessons she learned on her emotional and spiritual healing journey. To learn more, sign up for the UZ Newsletter or connect with her online:

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Instagram: @uzauthor

Facebook: @uzheartsoul

YouTube: uzreflections

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I’m divorced now and healing in community instead of shame. Learn more about my story and lessons in the UZ Heart & Soul Care community.  CLICK HERE

Also, join the UZ email list for UZ course announcements and live classes, where I share the lessons I’m learning on this journey, as well as other UZ Heart & Soul Care reflections: uzauthor.com/uz-signup

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Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of more than twenty books, including the If I Should Speak trilogy, Muslim Girl , and His Other Wife . She recently launched her “ Choosing To Love Alone ” series via UZuniversity.com to support struggling believers seeking to nourish their emotional and spiritual health.

Join UZ University now.

Subscribe to Umm Zakiyyah’s YouTube channel , follow her on Instagram or Twitter , and join her Facebook page.

Copyright © 2020 by Al-Walaa Publications.  All Rights Reserved.

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“Hope is not defined by the absence of hardship. Rather, hope is found in God’s grace in the midst of hardship. Hope is found in His promise to give us a future.”

―Stuart Scott

“Some people just don’t understand how things like anxiety and depression can make it impossible to pray,” the woman said. “It’s so frustrating to see so much ignorance and lack of compassion amongst Muslims when it comes to mental health.”

When I wrote the book, No One Taught Me the Human Side of Islam, wherein I share the true story of a Muslim woman living with bipolar disorder, I intended to create more mental health awareness in the Muslim community. Hearing the heartbreaking story of how this woman was consistently mistreated and ostracized in her local faith community due to her mental illness saddened me and inspired me to share her story with the world.

It is indeed both troubling and perplexing to witness how the modern-day Muslim community is just beginning to take baby steps in understanding an ancient reality that the earliest Muslims understood as a matter of course: mental illness is real, as are emotional health challenges. In some of the most dated books of fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence), a person’s mental health is routinely mentioned as a condition of any binding contract.

Other historic texts go into lengthy detail about the different categories of mental illness, ranging from those that affect only minor aspects of a person’s life to those that are so serious that the person is no longer accountable for their actions because the pen has been lifted from them. In Islamic fiqh, it is only the latter group who are excused from religious obligations, as they are similar to a person in a coma who is not even conscious enough to be aware of what is happening around them or of what is required by any religious practice. However, in Islam, the presence of even minimal mental health in an adult obligates him or her to fulfill at least the most basic acts of worship like Salaah.

So while it is indeed troubling and perplexing to witness how many modern-day Muslim communities are unaware of the wealth of information in our faith regarding mental health issues, it is even more trouble and perplexing to witness how in the name of “mental health awareness” an increasing number of modern-day Muslims are trivializing or canceling out the most fundamental obligation on every believing soul, no matter what personal challenges they have: the Salaah (the five foundational prayers).

When I see this troubling trend, which is quite obviously a path of ghuroor (spiritual self-deception) and a dangerous trap of Shaytaan, I am terrified for my soul and for the souls of all of the believers who are being influenced by this “compassionate misguidance.” For Allah, our All-Wise, Most Merciful Rabb, who created our bodies and our mental health function, says what has been translated to mean,

“Say to My servants who have believed, that they should establish the Salaah and spend in charity out of the sustenance We have given them, secretly and openly, before the coming of a Day on which there will be neither mutual bargaining nor befriending” (Ibrahim, 14:31).

He also gives us a warning and a call to self-correction when He says what has been translated to mean,

“But there came after them a posterity who neglected prayer and pursued desires, so they are going to face destruction. Except those who repent, believe, and do righteousness; for those will enter Paradise and will not be wronged at all” (Maryam, 19:59-60).

When I think on how something as crucial and praiseworthy as mental health awareness is being used as a tool to disconnect us from Allah and our souls, I find myself thinking: Some people just don’t understand how things like anxiety and depression make the daily routine of Salaah even more urgent and necessary.  It’s so frustrating to see so much ignorance and lack of wisdom amongst Muslims who trivialize spiritual wellness in the name of mental health.

Battling Toxic Compassion in Mental Healthcare

The following is a slightly adapted excerpt from the coursebook for the Salaah course, Come Back To Allah, Dear Soul and supplements the Live Webinar entitled “Therapists Replace God, Pills Replace Prayer?” scheduled for Tuesday, August 25th, 2020:

In true mental healthcare, spirituality is foundational to offering treatment and support to struggling souls. In this authentic treatment system, mental healthcare is rooted in showing empathy and compassion to those seeking healing for their emotional pain and spiritual wounding. Here, empathic professionals support and encourage struggling souls to connect to their Creator through prayer—in addition to seeking mental health treatment—as an authentic healing path.

Thus, even if a hurting soul is seeking healing from spiritual wounding itself, these professionals tell the person that spirituality need not be abandoned altogether. Rather it should be approached and practiced in a patient, compassionate and non-triggering way. In this way, spirituality becomes essential to the therapy itself.

In contrast, in systems of toxic compassion that pass themselves off as mental healthcare, cycles of harm are established in a way that treats spiritual accountability as a path of self-harm. Consequently, so many people who are hurting find themselves seeking healing from “mental health resources” that are really just cesspools of spiritual darkness. In these environments, toxic professionals (via their books, awareness campaigns, or therapy offices) wear masks of mental health expertise while intentionally or unintentionally pushing struggling souls deeper and deeper into “spiritual suicide.”

When these toxic systems successfully influence naïve and sincere Muslims, these hurting souls (who are already struggling to hold on to their last thread of spiritual life) trust “spiritual suicide” as a genuine path to emotional wellness and spiritual healing. Consequently, once “healed,” many of these Muslims return to their faith communities to share their “success stories” with other hurting souls. As a result, another wave of struggling Muslims are encouraged to allow their entire spiritual life to collapse as a justifiable path to getting their spiritual lives in order.

Taking It Easy Without Letting Go

It is true that some level of “letting go” is absolutely necessary for those who are overwhelmed by an ever-growing (and unnecessary) list of religious rules of do’s and don’ts.  However, this “letting go” should never include cutting off the bare minimum lifeline that every believing soul has in connecting to his or her Creator—the Salaah.

This is the spiritual message at the center of what I share from my own healing journey in my book, I Almost Left Islam: How I Reclaimed My Faith, as well as what I hope to convey in the coursebook and course, Come Back To Allah, Dear Soul.

If I were to summarize what I told my heart during my lowest point in trying to get my spiritual life back in order, it would be this reflection from my journal: Clear the clutter. If you’re struggling in your faith, this is my advice to you. Remove the excess baggage and carry only the burdens your Lord has given you.

Mental Healthcare Is Never Spiritual Harm

Whenever letting go of Salaah is presented as a necessary, justified, or spiritually viable option for hurting souls, we are witnessing a system of toxicity rooted in spiritual self-harm, even if it is presented as mental healthcare.

In truth, this ideology is just yet another branch of the toxic deen of emotionalism, which views any moral discipline or spiritual accountability to the Creator as problematic and inherently “unjust” or harmful, specifically when there is any deep emotional pain, overwhelm, or struggle involved in maintaining the spiritual lifestyle.

Emotionalism As Mental Healthcare

Unfortunately, the deen of emotionalism—which places emotionality over spirituality—is becoming more and more widespread and is actually beginning to be embraced as standard mental healthcare in many professional environments, even amongst Muslim mental health professionals.

In this increasingly popular system of toxic compassion, indulging in spiritual self-harm is presented as a justifiable, systematic approach to addressing difficult spiritual trials. In other words, spiritual self-harm is presented as the antidote to spiritual self-harm. This system of self-harm encourages or permits abandoning foundational spiritual responsibilities like Salaah when one is struggling emotionally or mentally, and this spiritual self-abandonment is presented as the path to resuming spiritual self-care “one day.”

Under the guise of mental healthcare, professionals and advisors who are proponents of toxic compassion defend their systems of spiritual self-harm by claiming things like “avoiding ableism” or “opposing religious rigidity.” Here, these self-assigned “compassionate saviors” (who often include life coaches, other survivors, and even spiritual teachers) claim to be freeing the struggling person from feeling compelled to do more than they genuinely can handle in their current emotional or mental state.

However, in truth, it is not ableism or rigidity that these advisors are uprooting. Rather it is the “burden” of maintaining even a minimal connection to one’s Creator—particularly when this spiritual responsibility appears to distress, trigger, or overwhelm the survivor in any way.

In this culture of toxicity, some “mental health experts” claim to be freeing struggling souls from burdensome religious lifestyles, which overwhelm hurting souls with unnecessary do’s and don’ts. Yet in reality, they are merely replacing the deen (spiritual way of life) of the Creator with a deen of their own—the deen of emotionalism.

Pillars of Emotionalism

In the mental healthcare branch of the deen of emotionalism, the first “pillar of faith” is the heart bearing witness that the therapist is God, and the second pillar of faith is committing oneself to a life of spiritual self-abandonment.

If a Muslim is struggling with emotional pain or spiritual wounding while trusting a toxic mental health professional, this second “pillar of faith” (though most often unconscious or implicit) routinely manifests itself as feeling content or justified in abandoning or neglecting the five foundational prayers.

In this way, the first two pillars of the deen of emotionalism are in direct opposition to the first two pillars of the deen of Islam. Whereas the first pillar of Islam is testifying that Allah is God, the first pillar of emotionalism (in the mental healthcare branch of that deen) is testifying that the therapist is God. Similarly, whereas the second pillar of Islam is establishing the prayer, the second pillar of emotionalism is abandoning the prayer.

Dependency on Humans and Drugs Replaces God

Too often a Muslim survivor comes to the mental health expert due to drowning in the dark waters of hopelessness and despair, only to be supported or encouraged in effectively tossing aside their spiritual life jacket. In this way, the already drowning Muslim freely allows themselves to drown even more, while having full faith in the guidance of the “all-knowing” and “all-wise” therapist.

In this state of “free drowning,” absolutely nothing is required of the struggling Muslim—except to fully and blindly accept the “compassionate hand” of a human savior (i.e. therapist), whose behavior codes and daily prescriptions replace those of God in their life. Thus, they are told to keep their appointments with the therapist while abandoning their appointments with God, and they are prescribed doses of pills to get them through the day while abandoning their doses of prayer.

In this way, dependency on human connection and medication is offered as foundational to one’s path to healing, while connection to the Creator and dependency on prayer is presented as disposable (if not harmful) while the hurting soul is at “rock bottom” emotionally and spiritually.

Professional Help Has Its Place

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that there is any inherent harm or sin in getting professional help or using medication to cope with serious emotional or mental trials. What I’m discussing here is the serious problem of spiritual self-harm that arises when we view foundational soul-care as secondary, harmful, or disposable next to dependency on humans and pills.

Whenever connecting to other humans and/or relying on minimal doses of medicine is viewed as more foundational to surviving our internal darkness than connecting to the Creator and relying on minimal doses of prayer, then we are inciting cycles of spiritual self-harm more than mental wellness.

As aforementioned, in this state of spiritual self-harm, the struggling person sets up consistent appointments with a therapist and/or intakes a certain amount of pills consistently per day. Meanwhile, they are abandoning their consistent appointments with their Creator and missing their daily dosages of prayer. This alternative system of daily “self-care” is quite obviously an inversion of spiritual priorities in the Muslim’s life—which involve daily “soul-care.” Furthermore, this inverted system is clear evidence that the struggling Muslim is actually being offered an entirely new deen in the name of getting “therapy.”

In this toxic system that passes itself off as compassionate mental healthcare, the Muslim is waiting until they feel “ready” to take the next step in soul care (i.e. returning to the Salaah “one day”)—that is, if they even feel inclined to ever return to Salaah. Meanwhile, what they’re viewing as a “next step” should have been their first and most crucial step in getting therapy.

In a healthy mindset of true mental wellness, it is the human connection to a therapist and daily pill dosage that is an optional (or disposable) “next step”—if a struggling should ever feel inclined or “ready” to opt for that at all.

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REGISTER NOW for LIVE WEBINAR “Therapists Replace God, Pills Replace Prayer?” by Umm Zakiyyah and special guest, Mujahid Muhammad (clinical social worker).

Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of more than twenty books, including the If I Should Speak trilogy, Muslim Girl , and His Other Wife . She recently launched her “ Choosing To Love Alone ” series via UZuniversity.com to support struggling believers seeking to nourish their emotional and spiritual health.

Join UZ University now.

Subscribe to Umm Zakiyyah’s YouTube channel , follow her on Instagram or Twitter , and join her Facebook page.

Copyright © 2020 by Al-Walaa Publications.  All Rights Reserved.

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equal opportunity.

satan doesn’t discriminate

he believes in equality for all

black

white

male

female

rich

or poor

he cares not—

so long as hell

is filled

with us all.

—excerpt of even if. by Umm Zakiyyah

Like so many other survivors of daily racism, I’ve recently retreated into my personal space to take care of my heart and soul—and of my emotional and spiritual health. The company of my Rabb (my Merciful Creator) is about the only company that I can handle or trust right now.

For reasons that I think are obvious to the entire world at this time, these past couple of weeks have been extremely triggering, enraging, and mentally exhausting for Black people. So, I really don’t have the words to explain what I’m going through right now. And frankly, I don’t feel the need or inclination to. I’ve grown tired of talking and explaining. I’ve grown tired of being a talking head that serves no other purpose other than to soothe the guilt of those people who want nothing more from me than words. Then when they’re finished posting or sharing my “words,” they go right back to the lifestyle of living the racism that inspired the pain behind my speech.

This happens because many non-Black people—including Muslims—are not willing or able to actually see me as a full human being. That’s why they call on people like me to speak on Black issues, but people like me are effectively non-existent in their lives when an opportunity arises to actually utilize our skills and talents in their community events, to support our businesses and companies in their daily lives, to incorporate our books into their curricula, to compensate us fully for our services, or to even invite us to their homes as they would a close friend.

Anti-Racism Words

Most anti-racism work in non-Black communities is more accurately labeled “anti-racism words.” It doesn’t go much beyond that. So, I’m tired of sharing my voice over and over in environments that value nothing more than my “words”—words that will, in most cases, just fall on deaf ears.

And no, I’m not being cynical. I’m being real. But I understand if you need to see my sentiment as cynicism. Or even bitterness. That’s the convenient label that’s slapped on survivors of racism because it helps the privileged and entitled—amongst Muslims and non-Muslims—excuse themselves from seeing the integral part they play in our pain. As such, these labels are just spinoffs of the stereotypical description “angry Black man/woman” that is slapped on us in environments of White supremacy.

And frankly, I’m tired of explaining and re-explaining something that should be obvious to any person with even a fraction of honesty within their soul: Black people are complex human beings just like you. So, if there is any question that needs to be asked and answered over and over, it should be from the non-Black community toward the non-Black community, and it is this: What is happening with your own hearts and souls that prevent you from treating your Black brothers and sisters in humanity as such?

And that’s where your true anti-racism work lies. Not on podiums at events. Not on conferences to support the Black community. Not in interviews to give us a “voice” in expressing how we feel.

No, I’m not saying that anti-racism events and conferences have no place. I’m merely saying that they are not where the real work is. Yes, they can supplement the real work. But they can never replace the real work itself. And that work is within your own souls, homes, and personal spaces.

Healing in Solitude

As for me, a survivor of daily racism, I am retreating within myself and away from most so-called “Muslim communities” during this time—as I have for quite a while. And I’m doing this for one simple reason: I’m trying to protect my soul.

That might sound a bit odd in the context of discussing anti-racism because it doesn’t seem to relate. And that’s okay. I don’t expect you to understand. But your lack of understanding is precisely why it’s so crucial that I retreat within myself and away from most Muslims for my spiritual health.

I want to die as a believer, so I cannot afford to continuously subject myself to the company of people who recite Qur’an on their tongues and speak endlessly about Allah and the Hereafter, yet their treatment of me continuously makes me feel like I am not welcome in even the companionship of Islam.

But I’ll share this much with you:

I learned long ago that most people truly and honestly don’t care about what others are going through, or even are suffering daily—even if it’s at their own hands. They think they care, but they don’t. This becomes painfully obvious when they try to show they care, but then they realize that “caring” means making some personal sacrifices in their lives that they are not willing to make—the first of which is honestly confronting the demons of dhulm (wrongdoing) lurking in their own “good” hearts and lives.

So I wish you well in your anti-racism work/words. If you are sincere in this path you claim to have chosen, then you’ll find that you really don’t need my assistance in purifying your own heart and community from the disease of racism. The help of your Creator, the Master of the Day of Judgment, is the only assistance you absolutely need for that.

She Wanted Them To Die Together

As I write these words, I am recalling a painful memory, some of which I shared in my book Prejudice Bones in My Body, and it is this:

One of the most heartbreaking illustrations of what this repeated racism does to the psychology of the Black Muslim is the story of my friend’s eight-year-old daughter. At the time, the girl was enrolled in a Muslim school that was predominately Arab, and she was showing signs of plummeting self-esteem and increased depression. The students repeatedly called her racist names, mocked her skin color, and told her she was ugly. To add insult to injury, the teachers themselves did not intervene, and they routinely favored the Arab children over her.

One day the eight-year-old girl came up to my friend and said, “Mommy, I hope we all die together.” Surprised by the words of her daughter, my friend said, “Why?” Then the girl said, in all sincerity and earnestness, “Because if you and Daddy die before me, there will be no one else in the world to tell me I’m beautiful.”

Immediately upon hearing this, my heart dropped and tears filled my eyes. Not only because I hurt for the girl, but because I hurt for myself. And I hurt for all the other Black children—and adults—who daily suffered a similar pain, but didn’t quite have the words to tell the world how they felt. And even if they did find the words—as I often did as a writer—it was very rare that anyone cared or was listening.

So our only hope was in waiting for a better life beyond this world, as the wider Muslim community let us know repeatedly that even in the masjids and schools built for the remembrance of Allah and for the supporting of the believers, we did not belong.

Racism Is Trauma

Racism is trauma just as surely as rape is trauma. This should be common sense. But when it comes to systems of dhulm that benefit the privileged and entitled amongst us, common sense isn’t so common anymore.

These past couple of weeks, we’ve witnessed a sudden surge of interest amongst non-Black people, both Muslim and non-Muslim, asking how they can “help.” Though I imagine most of these inquiries are sincere (and may Allah bless the efforts of those who are), they make me feel an overwhelming sense of mental exhaustion. This emotional experience is like a person whose closest friends and loved ones and most celebrated mentors are rapists, but right before scheduling a relaxing vacation with these rapists, they stop by the home of a rape survivor to ask, “How can I help?”

Imagine how that survivor would feel in that moment. Naturally, in such a context, the answer to this question is not with the survivor of the trauma. Rather the answer is within the life and soul of the “good person” who claims to want to stop the crime of rape.

Fear Allah

But I’ll offer two simple words to help you on the path of anti-racism that you say you wish to take: “Fear Allah.”

In other words, beg your Merciful Creator to help you live a life of taqwaa (protecting your soul from spiritual harm) for His sake, then study the Qur’an and prophetic teachings every day to learn what that means. Not for my sake. But for your own. Because ultimately, no matter how much I (and people like me) suffer due to daily racism, those inflicting it suffer more in the end. For there is no greater dhulm than what we inflict on our own souls.

As for how you can support me and others who look like me, you can start by treating us like human beings whose identity goes far deeper than the color of our skin. So if you really want to “help,” value our skills, talents, and presence in roles that go beyond speaking only for and about “the Black community.”

We are authors, speakers, and educators. We are entrepreneurs, doctors, and therapists. We are lawyers, spiritual teachers, and scholars. And that’s just to name a few.

But most importantly, we are your sisters and brothers in faith and humanity.

So the next time you are seeking to benefit from those who can remind you of Allah, or you are about to host an event and you need some “people” to fulfill certain professional roles, don’t forget (as you so often do) that we are “people” too.

Read the book, Prejudice Bones in My Body by Umm Zakiyyah

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Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of more than twenty books, including the If I Should Speak trilogy, Muslim Girl , and His Other Wife . She recently launched her “ Choosing To Love Alone ” series via UZuniversity.com to support struggling believers seeking to nourish their emotional and spiritual health.

Join UZ University now.

Subscribe to Umm Zakiyyah’s YouTube channel , follow her on Instagram or Twitter , and join her Facebook page.

Copyright © 2020 by Al-Walaa Publications.  All Rights Reserved.

The post Racism Is Trauma, But We Are People Too appeared first on Umm Zakiyyah.

“No, we are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm. There is a huge difference.”

—via @bilqeesquick (Instagram)

How can I help? so many ask.

Start by understanding what boat you’re really in. But that’s only possible if you first understand the storms of your own heart and soul—and the hidden chains keeping you bound to whatever is most important to you on the shores of this world.

If you find that there is something that is continuously more important than consistently standing up against dhulm (wrongdoing, abuse, and oppression), even in your own home and amongst your own people—even if they’re family, respected elders, or celebrated scholars—ask yourself, “Why?”

The Dhulm Embedded in Us

Most of us are so deeply embedded into systems of dhulm that we don’t even see it. Sometimes this blindness is because the dhulm is so much a part of our culture and lifestyle that we dismiss its manifestations by saying things like, “That’s family for you” or “That’s just how we [insert your ethnic group] are.” Or we actively support the dhulm because it’s being inflicted by our parents, respected elders, or men we consider scholars.

Other times our blindness is because these very systems of dhulm benefit us somehow, as I discussed a while ago in the blog, “Wronging Others For the Sake of Justice”:

What system of dhulm (wrongdoing and oppression) are you supporting in your life?

This might sound like an odd question because usually when we think of dhulm, we think of standing up against it to confront someone else. But how often do we confront our own souls? And here, I’m not simply speaking about the dhulm we do by falling into sin and wrongdoing and then repenting immediately thereafter. I’m speaking about the sin and wrongdoing we do to ourselves—and others—by being open supporters of dhulm when it benefits us in some way, or at the very least when it doesn’t disrupt our comfortable lives.

Today, our hearts are hurting so much because dhulm has become so widespread that we witness the most horrific crimes against humanity as a matter of course, and it’s hard to fathom how anyone could do this to others, and repeatedly. I too am feeling that level of shock and helplessness. What is going on with this world? It is unimaginable.

But we aren’t as helpless—or innocent—as we think.

Dhulm cannot get to this level unless it is first supported on smaller levels.

None of us is completely without fault or blame in this.

The ‘Media Circus’ Is in Town

Whenever the dhulm of racist oppression reaches the level of national and international attention (as it has right now), so many people, especially in the non-Black community, begin asking how they can help fight racism and oppression. They ask what they can do.

I admit, at times this question can be emotionally exhausting. This is because each time it’s asked, it feels like I’m about to be taken on a merry-go-round ride that will spin for only as long as the “carnival” (i.e. media circus) is in town. And then like the media circus itself, this “carnival ride” will be dutifully abandoned—until next season.

So, yes, sometimes I feel exhausted because, generally speaking, these questions arise only when the media is forcing people to look at themselves. Otherwise, people are completely content living with themselves—and with the dhulm that stares back at them in the mirror each day. If the media isn’t pointing its camera on our blotches of dhulm, we don’t mind it so much. We might even like it.

So, once the camera’s turned off, so is our concern.

Nevertheless, I fight this exhaustion.

When I feel it overwhelming my heart and limbs, I get my rest and spiritual nourishment, and then I wake up another day, praying for strength. I don’t have the right to give in to the exhaustion, I tell myself, even as I cannot help feeling it.

The fight against dhulm never ends, and it never ceases to be exhausting. And I remind myself that, with each “media circus,” we get a few more dedicated “soldiers,” even as most were truly only along for the merry-go-round ride.

How Can You Help?

If you are truly sincere about helping in the battle against oppression in this world (and only Allah knows the hearts of His servants), I’ll say this:

Whatever you do, understand that truly standing up against oppression has two battlegrounds. your internal world, and your external world. There is no standing up for justice in the truest sense without both of these aspects working together, and simultaneously—at all times.

This is true for all social justice work, anti-racism or otherwise, and it is true irrespective of your “work experience” and ethnic background.

If a single one of us—whether Black or non-Black, privileged or underprivileged—subtracts any one of these two components in our fight against oppression, then our efforts are false, insincere, or steeped in harmful self-deception. There really is no exception to this rule. Not a single one. This rule applies to every ethnic group, even amongst those who are underprivileged and oppressed, but it applies most especially to those who are benefiting from the system of oppression, even if they wish to live in self-denial about this.

So be very, very careful and constantly do a self-analysis regarding where you really stand in your fight against oppression, not only where you claim to stand (to yourself and the world).

As Witnesses to Allah

Our Creator obligates us to stand up against dhulm (wrongdoing, abuse, and oppression) wherever we find it, even if it’s in our own homes and against our own selves, and against our own family and elders. In the famous, oft-referenced ayah (divine verse) on this subject, Allah, the All-Wise, Most Just, says what has been translated to mean,

“O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, your parents, your kin, and whether it be [against] rich or poor. For Allah can best protect both. So, follow not the lusts [of your hearts], lest you may avoid justice. And if you distort [justice] or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do” (An-Nisaa, 4:135).

When Muslims quote this ayah, they tend to focus on only the part about standing out “firmly for justice.” In this hyper focus, we skip the most important part of this ayah, without which all of our efforts in “justice work” are null and void: “…as witnesses to Allah…”

When this part is skipped—as it usually is in our homes and communities all over the world—oppression spreads like wildfire to the rest of the world, even in areas that claim to be fighting oppression.

Some of the worst dhulm occurs from those who’ve convinced themselves they’re good people and thus become agents for the very dhulm they imagine themselves to be fighting. Be careful.

And keep in mind, this particular point is more a self-check than one intended to inspire us to start pointing fingers at others. As the very subject itself should make us realize, being a witness to Allah begins in the unseen world of our own hearts.

So, fear Him before you make a single claim about what (or whom) you’re fighting for, and before you move in any direction of what you believe to be standing up against dhulm.

The Two Battlegrounds of Dhulm

Our internal battleground against dhulm is the world of our own hearts, souls, and private lives (i.e. our most intimate space, wherein even our own parents and family are outsiders). This is the root of our fight.

Our external battleground against dhulm is the world outside our own hearts, souls, and private lives—even if that external world extends only as far as our own family and friends. This external battleground is the “fruit” of our internal one. In other words, this is the “fruit” that our family, community, and/or wider world (including social media) see or “taste” as a result of our fight.

Needless to say, families and communities steeped in cultures of abuse and oppression have zillions of silent sufferers tasting the bitter fruit of their internal work. But those who are benefiting from (or supporting) the abuse do not see or taste the bitter fruit—because they are watering it and planting its seeds.

Fruitless Trees and Bitter Fruit

Some of us have either no fruit or only bitter fruit on our tree of justice (even in our own homes). This is because dhulm isn’t a serious concern of ours—even in our private relationship with Allah.

Here, even in our most heartfelt prayers cried in solitude to our Merciful Creator, we care only about seeking more and more comfort and “success” in our worldly life, such as amassing wealth and achieving this and that for our own selves or our families. But we don’t care much about what anyone else is going through—unless it directly disturbs or threatens our comfort and privilege somehow.

Those with fruitless or bitter trees of justice are generally silent in the face of oppression for the most part. The main exception to this is when they suddenly “grow a backbone” when they feel inspired to stand up and speak against how the oppressed are “incorrectly” or “unjustly” reacting to their oppression. Otherwise they have absolutely no interest in fighting anything that’s really wrong with the world.

Unfortunately, this group makes up the majority of the human population—including the Muslim community. Their ostensible “fight for justice” is really just a fight to protect their own privilege, worldly comforts, and blissful ignorance. More than anything, they don’t appreciate having their worldly comfort disturbed or their privilege threatened, hence most of their anger is directed at those who either make them look bad in front of their oppressors or who challenge a part of the oppressive system that they wish to stay in place.

For the majority of the world—including Muslims—dhulm isn’t something they mind so much, unless it directly affects them. This is why they are generally completely silent in the face of widespread, obvious oppression, yet they (oddly) feel a sudden rush of “religious obligation” to “change an evil with their tongue or hands” only when they witness the “inappropriate response” of the oppressed to their oppression.

What Fruit Is on Your Tree of Justice?

When both our internal and external world of battling dhulm coincide, we achieve a beautiful balance that produces the only “tree of justice” that produces meaningful fruit in this world. This is a tree that isn’t part bare, part bitter, and part sweet. It is only sweet.

In other words, the people who plant the true “tree of justice” in this world aren’t “selectively righteous.” They don’t fight against dhulm only when it harms them or their people in some way, but then openly or quietly support dhulm whenever it benefits them or their people in some way.

It’s easy to self-justify when you fixate on the good you do, while ignoring the dhulm you do, support, or benefit from. But remember this: Doing good isn’t hard. Everybody loves to do good. So, if you sincerely desire to be amongst the “blessed few” who achieve success on their “tree of justice,” ask yourself this: Do you also avoid wrongdoing? Even when it feels good or produces “good” for you in this world?

On this, I suggest reflecting on this quote by Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) that I read some time ago: “All people love to do the good; the hypocrites and the sinners do good, but it is only the muttaqoon (i.e. the people of taqwaa) who avoid the bad.”

And these people of taqwaa (i.e. those whose lives are defined by daily protecting their souls from spiritual harm in this world and in the Hereafter) are few—very, very few.

No, they are not perfect people, and they are not sinless people. Rather, they are striving people.

The muttaqoon are those whose lives are defined by fighting dhulm, even within themselves. Thus, they immediately self-correct when they realize they have fallen into dhulm, whether against themselves or someone else. They are those whose tongues constantly and sincerely recite some variance of these prayerful supplication, “O my Lord, I have wronged my soul, so forgive me!”

So, if you are sincere in your own efforts at fighting against dhulm, whether it manifests as racist oppression or something, then focus on striving and praying to be amongst these sincere and steadfast people instead of merely claiming to be. Then, even as you walk the path of striving to be amongst the people of taqwaa, understand that being amongst those standing up for justice isn’t a static state. You can be amongst them one day (or minute) and amongst the wrongdoers or oppressors in the next. Be careful.

Pray To Be Amongst the Few

Those people of taqwaa who have sweet fruit on their trees of justice—whether small clusters on a single tree (i.e. in their homes and amongst family and friends), or numerous sweet trees on a field of plentiful fruit (i.e. extending to the wider community and world)—are the minority of the world. These people comprise the small band of sincere, God-fearing people whom Allah describes in the Qur’an when He says what has been translated to mean,

“Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining what is right, and forbidding what is wrong. Those will be the successful” (Ali ‘Imraan, 3:104).

Beg Allah to be amongst them.

And when you perceive that your prayer has been answered, then beg Allah to remain amongst them—and to remain ever vigilant and self-aware regarding when (not if) you fall into error, wrongdoing, or self-deception. Because no amongst of fighting against dhulm protects you from falling into dhulm yourself.

In other words, even on your best day, you will always be flawed, imperfect, potentially sinful human being.

Therefore, in striving and praying to be amongst this small group to true believers standing up for justice, it is important not to fall into self-deception. You are not amongst these people simply because you want to be, because you work alongside them, or even because you yourself are involved in social justice work.

You become amongst these people because Allah has written down your name in His Book of Decrees, in the Preserved Tablet above the heavens, that you are amongst them. So, ultimately, your true status remains a matter of the ghayb (unseen) until you meet Him.

This is your case whether you are Black or non-Black, or privileged or underprivileged. So, dear soul, carefully heed this advice from your All-Wise Creator as you strive to stand up for justice in this world, “…So ascribe not purity to yourselves. He knows best who fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him” (An-Najm, 53:32).

Of the many lessons we can learn from this divine wisdom is this: As we strive and struggle on the path of justice and fighting abuse and oppression in this world, we must focus on doing the work, not on claiming our successful status in a path of work that is never done.

Remove the Chains from Your Heart

In closing, I offer this final piece of advice to my non-Black sisters and brothers in faith, especially those in the United States of America who are from communities of Muslim immigrants (whether directly or their descendants): You cannot help others until you know and help yourselves. In other words, as you strive to support your Black brothers and sisters in faith and humanity, help your own people help themselves.

And in my view, after supplicating to Allah alone for assistance, the first place to start is understanding the cultural chains on your heart. We as Black Americans have spent generations studying and understanding ours so that we can successfully fight our external enemy, while also focusing on programs of self-correction amongst ourselves. It’s time for you to do the same in your own communities.

What do I mean? I’ll share this reflection I wrote in my journal after reading some very disturbing sentiments from some Muslim leaders in the Arab and Desi American Muslim community, wherein they sought to support a system of dhulm that criminalized the very marital status of Muslim Americans whose private marriage choices conflicted with their desire to gain acceptance amongst our White oppressors:

Our people came here with involuntary chains on our bodies, and your people came here with voluntary chains on your hearts. Our circumstances are not the same. While your legacy is “follow the laws of the land,” ours is “challenge the laws of the land.” If this wasn’t our legacy, we’d still have chains on our bodies today. And till today, the chains remain on your hearts.

So, no, we are not in the same boat. We are in the same storm. And for too long you have rushed away from the storm by clamoring on the walls of our oppressors’ boat in hopes they’ll let you on the deck. This, so you can proudly stand next to them and look down on all those “lowly Black people” in the lifeboats barely protecting them from the storm.

It is only the chains on your hearts that keep you from seeing which boat you’re really in during this storm.

Focus on removing those chains. Then we can talk about next steps.

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Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of more than twenty books, including the If I Should Speak trilogy, Muslim Girl , and His Other Wife . She recently launched her “ Choosing To Love Alone ” series via UZuniversity.com to support struggling believers seeking to nourish their emotional and spiritual health.

Join UZ University now.

Subscribe to Umm Zakiyyah’s YouTube channel , follow her on Instagram or Twitter , and join her Facebook page.

Copyright © 2020 by Al-Walaa Publications.  All Rights Reserved.

The post First, Remove the Chains from Your Heart appeared first on Umm Zakiyyah.

today.

we must

protect ourselves

from

our protectors.

citizens from officers

laypeople from scholars

children from parents

women from men

wives from husbands

husbands from wives

and

our souls        

from

ourselves.

—excerpt of even if. by Umm Zakiyyah

The other day I read this post online, and it immediately hit my heart: Sometimes people pretend you’re a bad person so they don’t feel guilty about the things they did to you.

These words are the sad refrain of the life of so many hurting souls. Whether they are suffering in silence due to private abuses, or they are suffering in public outrage—like so many Black Americans continuously do each day till now—after witnessing, yet again, another vicious assault on a Black life that someone with power and influence decided was meaningless; they are turned into criminals for no crime other than being the victim of a crime.

So, while our oppressors are taking our lives and burying our bodies, they are also trying to take our dignity and bury our honor too. Over and over, victims of vicious abuse and oppression are turned into criminals simply because it makes the oppressors and their supporters feel better about their crimes.

Turning Victims Into Criminals

So, after a girl is sexually abused by a trusted elder, she is accused of wanting it and bringing it on herself.

So, after a wife is verbally abused and beat down by her husband, she is accused of being a bad wife.

So, after a Black man is handcuffed and literally choked to death before it’s even clear what he’s being arrested for, he’s called a “dangerous criminal” who deserves to be killed.

So, after anyone—child or adult, man or woman—suffers any abuse or wrongdoing, they are told they are bad people who are cursed with “angry, bitter hearts” if they refuse to forgive the monsters who continuously seek to bury their bodies, honor, and dignity in this world.

Cowardice Under the Guise of Forgiveness

Today, in the toxic positivity of forced forgiveness culture, we’ve even made it a crime to choose justice and defending oneself over forgiving every single abuse or wrongdoing that happens to us. And in this sick ritual of turning dhulm (wrongdoing and oppression) into righteousness, we label as “evil” anyone who has enough self-respect and dignity to say, “Enough is enough.”

It’s much easier to convince someone they’re a bad person for not forgiving an oppressive wrong done to them—I wrote in my journal some time ago—than standing by their side in the fight against the oppressive wrong. In this, our claim that forgiveness will magically heal a person is really about our need to magically absolve ourselves of any responsibility in helping them oppose the wrong. Here is how cowardice is masked as piety, and how emotional manipulation is masked as wanting a person to have a heart free of anger and bitterness. So many of us would rather live in a world filled with evil and oppression than to have a single person alive who is angry enough—and brave enough—to stand up and demand that the oppression ends and that justice is served.

Not Forgiving Is Beautiful Too

As I mention in my blog, “The Beauty of Not Forgiving,” forgiving abuses and wrongdoing is a choice, not a religious obligation—and it’s certainly not the only path to emotional healing, or even world peace:

“Forgiveness is more for you than for your abuser,” we are told. And that’s true. But here’s what’s also true: Not forgiving is also more for you than for your abuser. When you make the healthy choice to not forgive because you trust in Allah’s justice, it’s more about your heart being at peace than it is about your abuser being punished. But forced forgiveness advocates want us to believe that the latter is not true healing. But both are healing.

You know what is not true healing? Feeling forced to forgive out of fear that your heart will never heal fully without it. That’s not healing. It’s emotional manipulation, and it needs to stop.

The beauty of forgiveness is in the free choice of forgiveness. That we can find emotional freedom without forgiveness, yet we still sometimes choose to forgive is remarkable and beautiful. But so is finding emotional freedom in trusting that you will be rewarded for your suffering in ways that only God can bestow.

In forced forgiveness culture, we are guilted into forgiving abusers and oppressors by being taught that healing is impossible without forgiveness. We are taught that our hearts will be trapped in resentment, anger, and bitterness if we don’t forgive. This is completely untrue.

Even amongst those who don’t believe in God at all, there are many who have found their own healing through not forgiving, and it has absolutely nothing to do with them holding on to anger and bitterness. The reason they have found their internal peace this way is because they have tapped into that part of the human heart and spirit that seeks balance through justice instead of absolution.

Healing with a Healthy Heart

In a healthy human heart, both types of healing are necessary: forgiving and seeking justice. Yes, as a general rule, forgiveness is the preferred path of internal peace. However, it is not the only path to internal peace. It is not even the only path to external peace.

Just as we keep the external world in balance by generally forgiving things that anger and upset us daily, we keep our internal world in balance by generally forgiving things that anger and upset us daily. And just as we sometimes have to stand up against wrong in the external world and demand that justice is done if we are to have peace on earth, we sometimes have to patiently trust in God’s justice when we have suffered vicious wrongdoing—instead of choosing forgiveness—if we are to have peace in our hearts and souls.

Anyone grounded in a holistic study of the human experience knows that both choosing forgiveness and seeking justice represent balanced healing and internal peace. At times the best and most healing option is choosing forgiveness. At others the best and most healing option is choosing justice.

Similarly, any Muslim grounded in a holistic study of the prophetic example knows that both choosing forgiveness and seeking justice represent the balanced life that Allah showed us through His Messenger, peace be upon him. Yes, as a general rule, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) chose forgiveness and pardoning wrongdoing. However, when the greater harm would come to him and the believers through absolution, he chose justice and standing up against wrong.

Uncovering the Abuse of Forgiveness

It’s painful to listen to religious rhetoric that eagerly praises forgiveness but denies and buries the parts of our faith that require standing up against oppression and wrongdoing. And to make matters worse, many of these people go as far as to continuously blame and humiliate victims who’ve chosen not to forgive their abuser.

I discuss this religious dishonesty in the following excerpt from my book, The Abuse of Forgiveness: Manipulation and Harm in the Name of Emotional Healing.

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So the question here isn’t really about God loving forgiveness. Rather, the question is about whether or not we—the judgmental outsiders (even if we happen to be survivors)—accept that God also loves justice.

The question is also about whether or not we sincerely accept that God supports whatever decision victims of wrongdoing make in addressing what happened to them, so long as they don’t violate anyone’s rights in the process.

In forced forgiveness culture, the answer is no to both of these questions: No, we don’t accept that God loves justice, and no, we don’t accept that God supports victims’ right to choice. Yes, many of us give lip service to acknowledging this. But the words are like a dismissive wave of the hand before we get right back to guilting survivors of abuse into doing what we say they must, God’s teachings be damned.

Ironically, in this forced forgiveness approach, it is we ourselves who are in danger of falling into sin and wrongdoing. And this danger is much more imminent than the hypothetical possibility of a survivor’s heart being filled with anger and bitterness if they don’t forgive. However, we are too busy imagining that we know better than everyone else, God included, to even perceive the looming harm hanging over our own hearts and souls.

True Believers Choose Forgiveness and Self-Respect

In Islamic tradition, there are many places in the Qur’an in which God describes the traits of sincere believers. In one part, He prefaces this description with a reminder of the nature of the things humans enjoy in this worldly life. He says what has been translated to mean:

“So whatever you have been given is but a passing enjoyment for this worldly life, but that which is with Allah (i.e. Paradise) is better and more lasting for those who believe and put their trust in their Lord” (Ash-Shooraa, 42:36).

Given that several verses that follow address both forgiveness and wrongdoing, this introduction is quite profound in that it reminds every person, regardless of circumstance, the nature of this transient world and how we should understand our experiences in it. This allows the reader to put his or her mind in the right place before even processing the traits of the sincere believers who will be in Paradise. God goes on to list several traits of these believers:

“And those who avoid the greater sins and immoralities, and when they are angry, they forgive. And those who have responded to [the call of] their Lord and establish the Salaah (obligatory prayer), and who [conduct] their affairs by mutual consultation, and who spend out of what We have bestowed on them” (Ash-Shooraa, 42:37-38).

For those involved in forced forgiveness, they would read this description and immediately think, See! This is what I’m talking about. God says that true believers forgive wrongs! So what’s going on with all these angry, bitter people refusing to forgive those who wronged them? However, in this description of those who forgive, God didn’t mention wrongdoing at all. He mentioned only that they are angry. He doesn’t even mention why they are angry. Yes, wrongdoing is certainly implied in the verse, but it is not mentioned specifically. This is no small point.

Some people might say that this wording is merely a technicality, and that I’m being nitpicky in even pointing it out. Thus, they argue that this wording has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that everyone should forgive, no matter what abuse, oppression, or wrongdoing they suffered. However, when we say this, what we fail to realize is that not only is the emphasis on anger quite significant; it is also the point, as the verses that follow make undeniably clear.

Before quoting the verses about wrongdoing, I think it is important to mention how we should understand the wording of things in the Qur’an, especially when the same topic is addressed more than once in the same context. Generally, whenever a topic is discussed more than once and in some detail, what is and is not mentioned in each context points to important traits we are to focus on in understanding them. In some cases, these important traits are found in contexts outside the Qur’an, such as in the reason for revelation and in the prophetic example. However, in this case, the important traits are mentioned quite clearly in the verses themselves.

In the above context, when forgiveness is mentioned as the immediate response, the emphasis is on the fact that the person is angry, not that he or she has been wronged. The profound wisdom in this emphasis cannot be overstated.

In our daily lives, there are many things that anger us: A friend refuses to speak to us, and we have no idea why. Someone is late picking us up to an important appointment. A business partner agreed to do something then dropped out at the last minute. A person cuts us off in traffic or quickly steals our parking space. Our husband or wife is focused more on their smartphone or career than on us. And the list goes on.

What Lesson Is God Teaching Us?

One lesson we can glean is this: When facing day-to-day things that incite anger, for the sincere believer, the default response is that of forgiveness. By praising this trait in His servants, God lets us know that our daily behavior should foster environments of peace, understanding, and empathy instead of hostility and retaliation. No one is perfect. Thus, from time to time, we’ll all be insensitive, unreliable, and even flat out wrong, thereby inciting justifiable anger in others. However, as a general rule, it is in everyone’s best interests to be forgiving and merciful in these circumstances. Otherwise, the world would be full of quarrelsome, vengeful people who feel justified in avenging even the slightest offense.

This is not to say that none of the scenarios I listed are sometimes more serious than they initially appear, or even that we have to forgive these scenarios every single time. I give these examples only to make the point that what is being described in the Qur’an is the fact that sincere believers—those endowed with authentic spirituality—have a forgiving nature. And this nature is manifested most when they are justifiably angry yet still choose to forgive.

However, when an egregious wrongdoing has occurred, the emphasis is no longer on forgiveness; it is on justice. In this case, the sincere believers are described as follows: “And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done to them, they help and defend themselves” (Ash-Shooraa, 42:39).

In the verse that follows, it is only after it is explained that the retribution should fit the crime that the option to forgive is mentioned:

“The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto [in degree]. But if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah. Verily, He loves not the wrongdoers” (42:40).

Interestingly, God does not stop here in discussing the rights of those who have been wronged. He goes on to let victims know that not only do they have full right to not forgive, but also, should they exercise that right, no one has the right to blame them in any way. He says:

“But if any do help and defend themselves after a wrong [done] to them, against such there is no cause of blame. The blame is only against those who oppress people and insolently transgress beyond bounds through the land, defying right and justice. For such there will be a penalty grievous” (42:41-42).

Here is where seeing and understanding the original Arabic would be tremendously helpful in comprehending the powerful message being conveyed here. However, to get a glimpse of the deeper meaning, I offer this explanation: What is being translated as “there is no cause of blame” (i.e. against the victim who decides to not forgive), a more literal translation would be “there is no path, road, or means [that can be taken] against them.” By using the Arabic word sabeel—which is translated as cause above but has the literal meaning of way, path, or road—God is shutting down every possible justification anyone can use to criticize, blame, or harm a victim who chooses to not forgive.

It’s Sinful To Blame Victims for Not Forgiving

In other words, when we reflect on the above divine verses of Qur’an, it doesn’t matter whether our justification of blame, criticism, or harm is rooted in good intentions or not, if it is directed at the victim of wrongdoing, God simply does not allow it. If we do take this pathway of blame, then we are the ones who are wrong.

Even if we are simply perplexed or sincerely disappointed at their choice to not forgive, once they make their decision, we have no right to express disappointment or criticism, as this expression itself can be a sabeel (a pathway of blame) against them—no matter how harmless, innocent, or well meaning it appears to us.

After God makes this point crystal clear, He then effectively tells us: If you still feel in your heart or mind any inclination to criticize, blame, or express disappointment toward anyone as a result of this circumstance [which resulted in the victim not forgiving], then shift all of your attention back to the one who started this whole problem in the first place: the abuser, wrongdoer, or oppressor: “…The blame is only against those who oppress people and insolently transgress beyond bounds through the land, defying right and justice.”

Only after God establishes beyond a shadow of a doubt the victim’s full right to choice—and the prohibition of any form of blame or harm against them as a result of their choice—does He return to the topic of forgiveness.

Read the book The Abuse of Forgiveness

READ NOW. CLICK HERE

Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of more than twenty books, including the If I Should Speak trilogy, Muslim Girl , and His Other Wife . She recently launched her “ Choosing To Love Alone ” series via UZuniversity.com to support struggling believers seeking to nourish their emotional and spiritual health.

Join UZ University now.

Subscribe to Umm Zakiyyah’s YouTube channel , follow her on Instagram or Twitter , and join her Facebook page.

Copyright © 2020 by Al-Walaa Publications.  All Rights Reserved.

The post No, We Don’t Have To Forgive You appeared first on Umm Zakiyyah.

“Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is that [believer] who has taqwaa (a lifestyle of sincerely guarding oneself from spiritual harm in this world and in the Hereafter).”

—Qur’an (Al-Hujuraat, 49:13)

“He performed miracles!” some say to defend their worship of “saints” and graves, and blindly following their beloved spiritual teachers. “That’s proof that he’s from the awliyaa (close friends) of Allah!”

Listen, dear soul, and listen well.

Miracles—or any other “amazing” things that happen in this world—are by the permission of Allah alone, not by the permission of His creation, no matter how apparently righteous. This is the case with Allah’s prophets and messengers (who all made it crystal clear that these miracles are to point to the magnificence of Allah alone), so how much more with regards to regular men and women like you and me, even if they carry the title sheikh or spiritual teacher.

Our Taqwaa Honors Us

Yes, due to our various levels of taqwaa (how well we sincerely guard our souls from spiritual harm), some of us are definitely more spiritually “pure” and beloved to Allah than others. However, even this spiritual reality is not a static state for any human soul. A person who earns Allah’s love and pleasure today due to their taqwaa and sincerity can earn Allah’s anger and punishment tomorrow due to their pride or sinfulness.

Similarly, a person whom Allah blessed to witness a miracle in their life can use this event as a sign of Allah’s greatness and therefore dedicate their lives to serving Him and Him alone. Or they can use this event as a sign of their own greatness and therefore call themselves (and others) to dedicate their lives to serving and praising themselves alone.

In both cases, the miracle was a divine sign pointing to the ultimate truth of Allah’s Power—and an invitation to His guidance. In other words, it was a spiritual trial of the soul to see if the person would praise Allah or praise themselves.

Unfortunately, so many of us do the latter (whether in overpraising ourselves or our spiritual teachers). Yet Allah says what has been translated to mean, “…So ascribe not purity to yourselves. He knows best who fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him” (An-Najm, 53:32).

And what could be a greater form of ascribing purity to ourselves than claiming we or someone else is one of the awliyaa (close friends) of Allah, without any specific divine revelation (in the Qur’an or prophetic teachings) mentioning us or this person by name?

Yes, we can hope and pray for this (for ourselves and others), but we cannot claim it as a reality and then teach it to others. Furthermore, we cannot ask others to treat our claim as spiritual truth while our conclusion is due to only the conjecture of our minds, even if sincere and “well-researched.”

Because no amount of sincerity or exhaustive research gives any human being access to the ghayb (unseen) with Allah, especially with regards to what is written next to someone’s name in the Preserved Tablet in the heavens.

In the end, each of us must worship Allah with hope and fear—not on the assumption that we are effectively in need of neither.

Miracles Are Not Proof of Righteousness

And dear soul, remember this and remember it well—especially in discussions about the apparent spiritual station of non-prophets of today and the past: Miracles in themselves are not proof of anything definite about a person’s lofty spiritual state in front of Allah.

This bears repeating: Miracles alone are not proof of anything definite about a person’s lofty spiritual state in front of Allah.

Besides the obvious fact that some things that we’re labeling “miracles” are actually acts of jinn (whether the person is working with jinn intentionally, or the jinn are bothering them as a trial from Allah), here is one “miraculous reality” that should give pause to the believing heart striving for taqwaa: Amazing miracles will be performed by the Dajjal (the false Messiah) when he comes.

So dear soul, if you have even a grain of emaan (truth faith) or fear of Allah in your heart, then sit with that for a moment, and sit with it long and hard. Then teach this weighty spiritual lesson to your struggling, confused heart that is in desperate need of Allah’s guidance, mercy, and forgiveness.

Miracles Are Tests of Faith

A simple look at the history of how and when Allah has decreed certain miracles to occur should clarify to us that, more than anything, miracles are decreed by Allah as tests of faith for the human soul.

In response to witnessing them or receiving them in our own lives, some of us will pass this test and thus dedicate ourselves to the worship and servitude of Allah alone until we die. On the other hand, some of us will fail the test and thus have on our records the miracle we witnessed as proof against our souls on the Day of Judgment.

Furthermore, these miracles are not decreed to come to only righteous people or through only righteous people or to exclusively the awliyaa (close friends of Allah). This is the case whether the miracle is in fact a true miracle from Allah, or whether what we are labeling a miracle is actually an act of jinn.

The example of the miracles of the Dajjal should make that point undeniably clear.

However, even beyond the reality of the Dajjal, there are many less obvious examples of this spiritual truth, including everything from medical miracles that disbelievers experience at times, as well as “spiritual” miracles like those that came to people of earlier times who were pagans, as a means of calling them to Allah.

Some Miracles Are Due to Our Faith

Yes, very often miracles do in fact come as a result of a person’s strong faith in Allah and His love of them (as we know from the reports of miracles happening in many battles in Islamic history). However, this is not the only context in which they occur, and they are certainly not the only reason they occur.

Understanding this point from the depths of our hearts could be the difference between guidance and misguidance in this world, and Paradise and Hellfire in the Hereafter.

Be careful.

As a general rule, when miracles or amazing spiritual events (such as noor emanating from someone’s face or grave) are due to Allah’s love of them or due to them being one of His awliyaa’, these signs accompany already evident spiritual truths, which are completely disconnected from the miracle or “amazing sign” itself. Even prophets came with clear spiritual guidance that was obviously true even when a miracle was not being performed.

Therefore, the foundation of our spiritual beliefs about anything or anyone must be rooted in clear divine proofs that uphold the principles of the Qur’an and Sunnah, not in amazing external events, no matter how miraculous and dazzling.

And even then, when the person is not a prophet, our belief about them must be based on hopes and prayers that these signs point to their high station with Allah, not on definite claims we can make about them and then call others to.

Guard Yourself from Misguidance

When in doubt about anyone’s claims about miracles of non-prophets, remind yourself of the trial of the Dajjal. This is very important because it is quite possible that through your excessive fixation on the apparent “miracles” of a specific “saint” or (alleged) wali (close friend of Allah), you could actually be preparing your heart to follow the Dajjal when he comes. This is a very real danger if you are so fascinated by someone’s apparent miracles (which could in fact be acts of jinn) that it inspires you to follow them (or the one talking about them) in this world.

So dear soul, never allow your heart to be swayed to join any group, to follow any sheikh, or to declare any person a “saint” or one of the awliyaa of Allah based on claims of (alleged) miracles alone.

Pay attention to whether this person is actually calling you to follow the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) as understood and practiced by the Prophet himself and his Companions, or whether they are calling you to blindly follow them (or their sheikh). Also carefully investigate whether they are trying to convince you to take bay’ah (a spiritual pledge of allegiance) to a certain spiritual teacher, or they are trying to guilt you into joining their group, which often has its own set of behavior codes and “spiritual paths” that differ from Qur’an and prophetic teachings.

And certainly don’t let these people’s claims of “miracles” misguide your heart into calling on these alleged “saints” or awliyaa as intercessors in your du’aa or into visiting certain graves in hopes of getting some blessings from dead people who are mere creations of Allah and who are in just as much need of Allah’s mercy and forgiveness as you are.

Protect Your Heart and Soul

In a personal journal entry, I offer this advice to my own soul and to my struggling sisters and brothers in faith:

Protect your heart and soul. 

Before you enroll in any religious class,

Before you sit across from any spiritual teacher,

Before you travel to any Muslim country,

Before you “study Islam” in any class or university,

Do this, and do it repeatedly: Protect your heart and soul.

How do you protect your heart and soul?

Through connecting them to Allah alone. 

Through making your primary source of divine guidance the Qur’an.

Through making your primary source of human guidance the prophetic teachings.

Through making Salaah, du’aa, and Qur’an your daily nourishment.

Through making self-reflection, self-accountability, and self-honesty the foundation of your relationship with the self.

And through reserving your right to get up and walk away from anything and anyone who seeks to disrupt or dismantle these boundaries of self-protection of the heart and soul.

In other words, protect the health of your heart and soul as if your very life and spiritual salvation depend on it.

Because they do.

Islam Is the Qur’an and Sunnah Only

In our faith, spiritual truth is based on clear spiritual proofs from the Book of Allah and the prophetic teachings—not miraculous feats like people walking on water, or (allegedly) knowing the unseen (in your life or that of others), or having some “secret knowledge” or sacred powers or special dreams and inspirations that no one else has.

In the Qur’an, Allah says what has been translated to mean, “And they were commanded no more than this: to worship Allah, [being] sincere to Him in religion, inclining to truth, and to establish prayer and to give zakaah (obligatory charity). And that is the correct religion” (Al-Bayyinah “The Clear Evidence,” 98:5).

So follow that deen (spiritual way of life), not the one that others are calling you to under the guise of getting you to appreciate certain miracles on earth.

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Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of more than twenty books, including the If I Should Speak trilogy, Muslim Girl , and His Other Wife . She recently launched her “ Choosing To Love Alone ” series via UZuniversity.com to support struggling believers seeking to nourish their emotional and spiritual health.

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