Maura Anderson's Blog

Ah WordPress – one of the most popular and yet insecure platforms around.

I’m working on de-hacking this site but it’s slow going. Luckily it’s probably not very popular anymore anyway. But you will see errors and weird behavior until I either get it all cleaned up or decide to burn it to the ground and start over!

I’ve been branching out of romance and erotic romance and into speculative fiction lately and have been looking for a way to spur myself on. I know I really like writing flash fiction, so I am going to try using Story Cubes (Or Story Dice – depending on the manufacturer) to do a weekly challenge.

On Saturday, I plan to pick between five and seven dice from the container I’ll empty all these dice into. Then I’ll roll those dice and take a photo of the images I roll.  Then I’ll spend the next week using those images as inspiration to construct a flash fiction between 500 and 1000 words. The flash fiction will be posted on the next Friday.

If anyone would like to join me at any point, let me know. If I keep this going for a couple of months, I’ll put up a sticky post or page about it!

 

Today is Yule and tonight is the longest night of the year. In many ways, this was the inspiration for my new release, Deepest Night. The longest night heralds the coming of more sun, more warmth and eventually the coming of Spring. What happens when you think your life has gone dark in the worst ways – until someone brings back the warmth and love to it?

This story is also the prequel to my Bran's Visions series. A celtic rock band that was on the pinnacle but is now beset by problems they may or may not be able to overcome.

My story is part of ManLoveRomance's Holiday 2011 series of releases – there are great stories to be found every day of the holiday season!

Buy my story from MLR at: http://www.mlrbooks.com/ShowBook.php?book=MADEEPKN

Blurb:

Photographer Jake Harrison is only trying to please the boss when he agrees to brave the holiday airport crush to pick up a visiting friend of the Bran's Visions lead-singer, Colen Cassidy. Al turns out to be Alrek Heggryd, a noted mandolin player who retired from performing very suddenly several years ago amid rumors of catastrophic health issues. In addition to working as the benefit concert's second photographer, Jake finds himself playing chauffer and guide to the sexy Norwegian until his efforts to keep a respectful distance fall to Alrek's onslaught.

 

 

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ManLoveRomance Press has put together a huge party of holiday stories! Not just week's worth, not even a month's worth but 42 days worth of holiday shorts for you to enjoy! If you click on the calendar above, you'll get a full-size image you can actually read.

And, just announced today, there is a bonus story released each Friday in December!  It's a huge number of stories by a lot of great authors. Different stories, different December holidays – they ROCK!

You'll see I even have a new release in here – on December 23rd (Yule!) my newest story Deepest Night will be released. I'll tell you more about it tomorrow, though. :)

You can buy all these books on their release date at MLR Press's website!

The schedule is:

Date
Title
Author


Nov 20
Christmasing With You
William Neale


Nov 21
Holiday C.A.M.P.
Victor J. Banis


Nov 22
An Early Snow
Derek Adams


Nov 23
A Picture Perfect Holiday
Z.A. Maxfield


Nov 24
'Tis the Season
Vivien Dean


Nov 25
Good Will Shopping
Mia Watts


Nov 26
Someone to Give Thanks For
DH Starr


Nov 27
The Advent Calendar
Christopher Koehler


Nov 28
Joy of the Season
TA Chase


Nov 29
Snowy Nights
Laura Baumbach


Nov 30
Christmas Wishes
JP Bowie


Dec 1
Scarcity Holidays
AKM Miles


Dec 2
Chance of Snow
Brynn Paulin


Dec 2
Time Waits for No Man
Kiernan Kelly


Dec 3
Holiday Matinee
Elizabeth Lister


Dec 4
First Christmas
Stevie Woods


Dec 5
Silent Nights
William Maltese


Dec 6
Southern Winterland
Taylor Donovan


Dec 7
Matches
Rick R. Reed


Dec 8
All He Needed
Simone Anderson


Dec 9
Christmas Memories
Matthew Lang


Dec 9
Angels on Top
NJ Nielson


Dec 10
A Summit City Christmas
Ethan Day


Dec 11
Christmas Future
Ally Blue


Dec 12
Cuddle Time Chicken Soup
Cherie Noel


Dec 13
All the Souls on Earth
Barry Brennessel


Dec 14
Winter Wonderland
Riley Stone


Dec 15
Breath of Heaven
Lex Valentine


Dec 16
Blue River
Theo Fenraven


Dec 16
Together in Electric Dreams
Geoff Knight


Dec 17
Together
Diana DeRicci


Dec 18
The Good Shepherd
Jardonn Smith


Dec 19
Personal Shopper
Tere Michaels


Dec 20
What You Will
Charlie Cochrane


Dec 21
Deepest Night
Maura Anderson


Dec 22
Secret Santa
Clare London


Dec 23
Every Time a Bell Rings
Missy Welsh


Dec 23
The Gift of the Maggie
Belinda McBride


Dec 24
Noche Buena
Neil S. Plakcy


Dec 25
Beautiful Harmony
S.J. Frost


Dec 26
Tofurkey and Yams
Karenna Colcroft


Dec 27
Finally Home
K-lee Klein


Dec 28
Christmas Gifts
William Cooper


Dec 29
Lights Me Up
James Buchanan


Dec 30
Where the Heart Is
Kaje Harper


Dec 31
Drag and Drop
Kimberly Gardner

With a heavy heart, I have decided to remove the buy links for all my titles with Aspen Mountain Press from my website, along with their covers. There is a considerable amount of chaos and legal issues between AMP and it's staff and authors and a lot of concern over future royalties and rights. Until those issues are settled, I'm considering these works to be "in limbo" and will decide on their fate when the current AMP chaos shakes out.

I am not willing to discuss the details but you can certainly Google the publisher and see the public posts of the various happenings.

This is very sad for me since AMP was my first fiction publisher and I've been with them since the beginning.

Today is (re) release day for a m/m steampunk short called Impressed. This story first appeared in the Riding the Rocket anthology from Sizzler Editions but ManloveRomance Press has released it as it's own short story. I'll add it to my book pages in the next day or two.

Title: Impressed

Author: Maura Anderson

Length: 10 Minute Short

Genre: M/M Steampunk

Buy it now at MLR Press!

Blurb:

Chief Warrant Officer Micajah Jamison's focus on duty and career has only barely covered over his loneliness since his ex-lover, Captain Harland Norman, had decided they could not be together if Cage wouldn't resign his American Airship Navy commission and take up a British commission instead. Now, for the first time in six years, Cage has a lay-by in the Port of Honolulu and decides to seek out company for the evening. Only his visit to the Persimmon, a very private men's club, doesn't end the way he'd hoped it would when he awakens in chains.

Excerpt:



Chapter 1

Cage stepped out of the boarding house he'd taken a room in, one of the less disreputable ones in this section of Honolulu, and carefully blended into the stream of bodies flowing down the worn wooden pedestrianway. A frisson of excitement-or trepidation, perhaps-heated his belly. Six long years since he’d last visited Honolulu port, but the smells and sounds brought back the events of his last visit as if it were yesterday. The memory of the most intense pair of peridot-green eyes he’d ever seen sent a pang of loneliness through him. Harlan's eyes.

He could do nothing about the British airship captain and the fact their loyalties were at odds, even if their bodies were in exact agreement. Pining for him did no good, though he'd tried for a while, but it was time to put aside his obsession with the other man and move on with his life. To help that cause along, he'd made sure he had time to look for some temporary companionship during this lay-up. He needed someone to take the edge off the loneliness that seemed to envelop him like a cloak these days, even if only for a few hours.

Eyes squinting against the bright afternoon sun, even under the unfashionably wide brim of his palm fiber hat, Cage pressed himself against the railing of the narrow pedestrianway to dodge a weaving pair of men making their way down the street past him. Despite the thick miasma of wood and coal smoke, not to mention the faint, sweet tang of opium, he could tell the two had not even taken the time to bathe before seeking out the seedier areas of the airship port and each other.

If their frequent pauses to grope and exchange clumsy, wet kisses were anything to go by, the two men didn't seem to be at all bothered by either their own odor or the amusement of a few of the more interested onlookers. They disappeared into the doorway of the by-the-hour boarding house several doors back. The scarred wooden door swung out and quickly back shut again after admitting the two men.

A breeze would have been welcome to clear away the remaining musk of their sweaty uniforms. Wool wasn't the best choice in the tropics at the most temperate of times, and today was far from temperate. The few natives foolish enough to be out in the thick heat of day were dressed in loose linen for comfort in the summer heat. Unfortunately, Cage was not free to go as simply dressed as the natives. Even out of uniform, there were regulations that must be obeyed.

Cage eased back into the press of traffic. A strong shove pinned him back against the pitted brass railing; the impact almost but not quite disguised the feel of fingers easing into the pocket of his civilian overcoat. A quick grab gained him possession of the thin wrist of a Hawaiian urchin attempting to pick his pocket. Unrepentant, if not overly skilled, the small boy twisted out of his grip and disappeared into the crowd, bare feet silent on the boards of the pedestrian way. He would likely seek out a more lucrative-and less aware-victim, since Cage's pockets were already empty before the pickpocket struck. Only a fool kept his papers or money anywhere accessible in this port.

Careful to slouch a bit and avoid any military mannerisms he could, Cage wiped his sweaty forehead with a plain handkerchief before he tucked it back into his sleeve. He made sure to scuff the heels of his boots on his way to the establishment he frequented here in Honolulu as well. There were no signs or advertisement for the Persimmon Palace, not even an address. Just a door you had to know the location of and a man on guard against those without membership or sponsorship.

The doorman was the same huge native man he'd seen on duty for over a decade. He still didn't know the doorman's name or whether he was even able to talk. His dress remained the same as well. He wore a pale linen tunic, loose trousers and palm fiber sandals. They were clean but never varied in style or color. The doorman could have been a stone statue if he'd only had more expression on his face.

"Mr. Kamaka is expecting me." Cage removed his hat and waited while the doorman assessed him as if he'd never seen him before. Dark, suspicious eyes slowly ran from the top of his tousled curly brown hair to the toes of his worn boots.

Cage had been careful to wear no part of his American Airship Navy uniform, nothing that would cause word to go back to his commanders and nothing that would cause problems with any representatives of navies of various other countries. Few things were as frowned on as those who caused too much official attention from foreign powers in the neutral Kingdom of Hawaii, and Mr. Kamaka, the owner, was known to quickly do whatever was necessary to remove that attention from the Persimmon, no matter the reason it had happened in the first place.

Finally the doorman gave a curt nod and stepped aside to open the door to the Persimmon just wide enough for Cage to slip through before shutting it firmly behind him.

It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness of the Persimmon's entry after the bright sunlight outside. The very air seemed cleaner and less oppressive than that outside. The strong scent of beeswax overlaid a much more subtle note of scotch, cigars and the musk of sex. The combination filled Cage's nostrils and sparked a slow burn of lust. His cock twitched in anticipation behind the buttons of his trousers. It had been long-far too long-since he’d fucked another man. Too much pain and sorrow dampened by focusing just on ship, duty and career left no time for sexual hungers to be satisfied.

The small entryway was a remarkable contrast to the seedy area of the port the Persimmon was located in. All four walls were paneled in polished bamboo, set with multiple rows of small, ornate brass rectangles gleaming in the gaslights that shone through alabaster shades. Even the brass tubing and fittings that fed the gaslights were polished to a warm glow.

Cage stepped to the low counter to the left of the entry and set his hat down in front of the attendant. In contrast to the doorman, this native was slender and wearing little more than a thin pair of trousers and a garland of leaves. The attendant said nothing and just waited, one hand under the countertop, until Cage slowly reached into his breast pocket, pulled out his token and handed it to the attendant. The small polished copper disk was embossed with the silhouette of an intact persimmon on one side and a cut persimmon's star shaped interior on the other.

His sponsor had told him that failure to produce the token could be punished by his death and the quiet disappearance of his body. No warning, no quarter. If you lost your token or had it stolen from you, you had to plead with your sponsor to procure another for you, if they were able to.

The attendant accepted the token, examined it carefully in the gaslight's reddish illumination, and finally nodded and smiled at Cage. "Thank you, sir. Welcome back to the Persimmon Palace and I hope you have the visit you desire."

"Thank you."

The attendant stepped out from behind the counter to deftly assist Cage with the removal of his overcoat. A press of one of the ornate brass switches and a section of wall paneling popped open to reveal a single valet and hat rack. The attendant hung the inexpensive overcoat on the valet with more care than it actually warranted, then hung Cage's hat on the hook and placed Cage's token in a small fitting set inside the hidden door.

Cage never had determined how the attendant knew just which cupboard contained his outerwear, but he'd never seen a mistake occur.

Formalities dispensed with, the attendant reached under the counter and seemed to press a hidden switch. After a moment or two, a disguised door opened in the wall opposite the counter. Low voices and baritone laughter wafted out on a breeze of masculine lust. The usually pervasive smell of opium was almost remarkable for its absence. It was not permitted in the Persimmon.

For a brief moment, a memory of Harland in his bronze silk waistcoat, fine white linen shirt and snug-fitting buff trousers made a pang of sorrow and a flash of anger surge through Cage. It would torture him to see Harland with another man, even though he knew he could not have the British captain, no matter the all-consuming lust between them.

It was just as well that the odds of Harland being at the Persimmon today were so close to zero they almost didn't bear thinking about. The British Airship Navy was known to be deeply engaged in battles for parts of their Indian colonies, so he'd have no reason to be laying to here in Honolulu. Every man was needed on the front lines by the British navy.

Maybe Cage could find another ginger-haired man to exchange pleasures with tonight.

Squaring his shoulders and making no attempt to disguise his half-hard cock, Cage walked into the inner-sanctum of the Persimmon and the pleasures he'd been anticipating for months.

In honor of Aspen Mountain Press' 5th anniversary, we are having a blog tour with a terrific prize at the end, a Kindle (Wi-Fi, Graphite, 6″ display with the new E-Ink Pearl technology) as our grand prize. I happen to own this same Kindle and I LOVE it. The rules for this blog tour are listed at the bottom of the post and there's a link to the blog of the terrific Marie Roy, as well. She's the next stop on this blog tour!

AMP has a special place in my heart because not only did they publish my first erotic romance (Del Fantasma: Texas Tea) but because I was there when the house was pretty much in its infancy. I learned a ton and still write and publish with AMP to this day, though my writing has suffered from various day job and auto accident issues.

Here's a brief description of the books I have currently available at AMP. If you click the "read more" link, you can read an excerpt and see information on where you can buy that book.

DEL FANTASMA: TEXAS TEA
Aspen Mountain Press
ISBN: 978-1-60168-052-50
Genre: Paranormal, Coyote
Sexuality: Male/Female
Series: Coyote Clans, Del Fantasma
Length: Novella
Read More…

Photographer Lara Saunders has a lifelong secret – she can see and hear ghosts. When she was rescued from a near drowning by the ghost of a lighthouse keeper, he set her on a mission to document historic lighthouses and the lives of their keepers so they were not forgotten. Now on her third book in the series, Lara has arrived in San Diego to document the Old Point Loma Lighthouse but hasn't counted on becoming the target Cody Warren, the matchmaking owner of the Del Fantasma bar. Or falling in love with a handsome Park Ranger whose secret is even more strange than her own.

TORT & RETORT
Aspen Mountain Press
ISBN: 978-1-60168-087-7
Genre: Contemporary Erotic
Sexuality: Male/Female
Series: Plain Brown Wrapper
Read More…

Ambitious and driven patent law attorney, Gayle Osborne, has a secret. Her power suits and take-no-prisoners attitude hide a passionate nature whose only outlet is reading and reviewing erotic romance. If anyone finds out that she is "Miss Retort," the snarky and opinionated blogger from the Hits & Misses review blog, she'll lose everything—her reputation, her clients, her job and, worst of all, her gorgeous mentor and boss, Tyler Monroe.

GIVING THANKS
Aspen Mountain Press
ISBN: 978-1-60168-151-5
Genre: LGBT Contemporary
Sexuality: Male/Male
Series: None
Length: Novella
Read More…

It's another Thanksgiving for lovers Derek and Troy. Another holiday to pretend they are merely platonic roommates in the chaos of Derek's family celebration. When Derek snaps after one too many confrontations and admits he's gay, his father disowns him on the spot. It's going to be a quiet Thanksgiving…or is it?

GIFT OF THE HOLLY KING
Aspen Mountain Press
ISBN: 978-1-60168-165-2
Genre: Paranormal, Holiday
Sexuality: Male/Female
Series: Holiday Stories, Paranormal
Length: Novella
Read More…

Recovering from a near-fatal accident, wiccan priestess Kayleigh Brennan has taken a leave of absence from her job to focus on recovering her health and rediscovering herself. When she discovers an ancient holly tree in a clearing behind her rented bungalow, she catches the full attention of Ilex, the Holly King. As his reign ends for the year and an ice storm moves in, will they lose each other again to the cycles of the year and of life?

BITTERSWEET
Aspen Mountain Press
ISBN: 978-1-60168-234-5
Genre: Contemporary
Sexuality: Male/Male
Series: None
Length: Novella
Read More…

Erotic chocolatier Brandon makes all sorts of tempting and tasty creations that celebrate love and sex. Too bad he's given up on finding love for himself after his last lover told him he wasn't worthy of a real relationship just before he dumped him.

When David picks up an order of chocolates for his best friend's wedding, he wonders if the muscular, tattooed Brandon will taste sweet or bittersweet… After David finds out that Brandon is gay, he needs to step up and let the sexy chocolatier know he's interested, but can he screw up the courage to do it?

Tour Rules:
1) Tour Starts: Monday, August 1, 2011 at Midnight (EST)
Tour Ends: August 7, 2011 at Midnight (EST)

Final Celebration is August 7th from 6pm-11pm (EST) at the AMP Community Loop.

Grand Prize: a Kindle (Wi-Fi, Graphite, 6″ Display with New E-Ink Pearl Technology) is the Grand Prize. Drawing will take place and be announced on August 7, 2011 on the AMP Community Loop at 11pm (EST). Only comments posted before 10pm (EST) on August 7, 2011 are eligible to win the Kindle. Winner will be notified by email on August 8, 2011 if they are not present on the Loop for the announcement.

***Individual winners from author contests will be drawn and posted August 8, 2011 on their individual sites.***

2) Participation at every blog on the tour is not required but the more blogs a person comments on, the more chances they have to win. If a person comments on one blog, they are entered into the Grand Prize Drawing once. If they comment on ten different blogs, they will be entered into the Grand Prize drawing ten times. Only one comment per blog per person will be entered to win the Grand Prize.

3) The winner of the Grand Prize must be a resident of the United States with a US mailing address. Non-US winners will be eligible for $50 US in Aspen Mountain Press books from the AMP Website.

4) Prizes at individual author blogs are completely at the discretion of the individual authors and are not in association with Aspen Mountain Press and its prize system. To enter the contest on any given blog, you must follow their contest rules and objectives.

5) By commenting on any blog in the tour, the participant is agreeing to these rules and policies.

6) All prize winners will be chosen randomly by using Random Line Picker.

For the next stop on this blog tour, please visit the lovely and talented Marie Roy at her blog (http://www.newsletterofmarieroy.blogspot.com/).

In honor of Aspen Mountain Press' 5th anniversary, we are having a blog tour with a terrific prize at the end, a Kindle (Wi-Fi, Graphite, 6″ display with the new E-Ink Pearl technology) as our grand prize. I happen to own this same Kindle and I LOVE it. The rules for this blog tour are listed at the bottom of the post and there's a link to the blog of the terrific Marie Roy, as well. She's the next stop on this blog tour!

AMP has a special place in my heart because not only did they publish my first erotic romance (Del Fantasma: Texas Tea) but because I was there when the house was pretty much in its infancy. I learned a ton and still write and publish with AMP to this day, though my writing has suffered from various day job and auto accident issues.

Here's a brief description of the books I have currently available at AMP. If you click the "read more" link, you can read an excerpt and see information on where you can buy that book.

DEL FANTASMA: TEXAS TEA

Aspen Mountain Press

ISBN: 978-1-60168-052-50

Genre: Paranormal, Coyote

Sexuality: Male/Female

Series: Coyote Clans, Del Fantasma

Length: Novella

Read More…

Photographer Lara Saunders has a lifelong secret – she can see and hear ghosts. When she was rescued from a near drowning by the ghost of a lighthouse keeper, he set her on a mission to document historic lighthouses and the lives of their keepers so they were not forgotten. Now on her third book in the series, Lara has arrived in San Diego to document the Old Point Loma Lighthouse but hasn't counted on becoming the target Cody Warren, the matchmaking owner of the Del Fantasma bar. Or falling in love with a handsome Park Ranger whose secret is even more strange than her own.

TORT & RETORT

Aspen Mountain Press

ISBN: 978-1-60168-087-7

Genre: Contemporary Erotic

Sexuality: Male/Female

Series: Plain Brown Wrapper

Read More…

Ambitious and driven patent law attorney, Gayle Osborne, has a secret. Her power suits and take-no-prisoners attitude hide a passionate nature whose only outlet is reading and reviewing erotic romance. If anyone finds out that she is "Miss Retort," the snarky and opinionated blogger from the Hits & Misses review blog, she'll lose everything—her reputation, her clients, her job and, worst of all, her gorgeous mentor and boss, Tyler Monroe.

GIVING THANKS

Aspen Mountain Press

ISBN: 978-1-60168-151-5

Genre: LGBT Contemporary

Sexuality: Male/Male

Series: None

Length: Novella

Read More…

It's another Thanksgiving for lovers Derek and Troy. Another holiday to pretend they are merely platonic roommates in the chaos of Derek's family celebration. When Derek snaps after one too many confrontations and admits he's gay, his father disowns him on the spot. It's going to be a quiet Thanksgiving…or is it?

GIFT OF THE HOLLY KING

Aspen Mountain Press

ISBN: 978-1-60168-165-2

Genre: Paranormal, Holiday

Sexuality: Male/Female

Series: Holiday Stories, Paranormal

Length: Novella

Read More…

Recovering from a near-fatal accident, wiccan priestess Kayleigh Brennan has taken a leave of absence from her job to focus on recovering her health and rediscovering herself. When she discovers an ancient holly tree in a clearing behind her rented bungalow, she catches the full attention of Ilex, the Holly King. As his reign ends for the year and an ice storm moves in, will they lose each other again to the cycles of the year and of life?

BITTERSWEET

Aspen Mountain Press

ISBN: 978-1-60168-234-5

Genre: Contemporary

Sexuality: Male/Male

Series: None

Length: Novella

Read More…

Erotic chocolatier Brandon makes all sorts of tempting and tasty creations that celebrate love and sex. Too bad he's given up on finding love for himself after his last lover told him he wasn't worthy of a real relationship just before he dumped him.

When David picks up an order of chocolates for his best friend's wedding, he wonders if the muscular, tattooed Brandon will taste sweet or bittersweet… After David finds out that Brandon is gay, he needs to step up and let the sexy chocolatier know he's interested, but can he screw up the courage to do it?

Tour Rules:

1) Tour Starts: Monday, August 1, 2011 at Midnight (EST)

Tour Ends: August 7, 2011 at Midnight (EST)

Final Celebration is August 7th from 6pm-11pm (EST) at the AMP Community Loop.

Grand Prize: a Kindle (Wi-Fi, Graphite, 6″ Display with New E-Ink Pearl Technology) is the Grand Prize. Drawing will take place and be announced on August 7, 2011 on the AMP Community Loop at 11pm (EST). Only comments posted before 10pm (EST) on August 7, 2011 are eligible to win the Kindle. Winner will be notified by email on August 8, 2011 if they are not present on the Loop for the announcement.

***Individual winners from author contests will be drawn and posted August 8, 2011 on their individual sites.***

2) Participation at every blog on the tour is not required but the more blogs a person comments on, the more chances they have to win. If a person comments on one blog, they are entered into the Grand Prize Drawing once. If they comment on ten different blogs, they will be entered into the Grand Prize drawing ten times. Only one comment per blog per person will be entered to win the Grand Prize.

3) The winner of the Grand Prize must be a resident of the United States with a US mailing address. Non-US winners will be eligible for $50 US in Aspen Mountain Press books from the AMP Website.

4) Prizes at individual author blogs are completely at the discretion of the individual authors and are not in association with Aspen Mountain Press and its prize system. To enter the contest on any given blog, you must follow their contest rules and objectives.

5) By commenting on any blog in the tour, the participant is agreeing to these rules and policies.

6) All prize winners will be chosen randomly by using Random Line Picker.

For the next stop on this blog tour, please visit the lovely and talented Marie Roy at her blog,

While visiting a friend's house yesterday, I attempted to learn the new technology of Ferret Phone Typing (FPT).  I had been informed that my friend's ferrets had been used to demonstrate this technology in the past and thought I, as a new user of FPT, might be able to make use of these already skilled ferrets and my own Windows Phone 7.

In the course of this hands-on learning experience, I discovered some key tips I'd like to pass along to anyone else who may seek to try FPT.

FPT requires that you  determine whether you are left-ferreted or right-ferreted ahead of time. Use of the incorrect ferret orientation can lead to both an unacceptable number of errors and even dropping of the phone device while trying to utilize the ferret.
FPT should be attempted by gently scruffing the ferret in use and touch its nose gently to the phone in use. Note that the phone may need to be cleaned frequently and excessive use of the same ferret may result in phone damage due to gnawing.
FPT has a limited session time so it's best to compose only short messages that can be easily completed during that session time. If longer messages are desired, multiple FPT sessions may be required.
FPT is not suitable for children as the ferret cannot be adequately controlled by a child to have achieve the precision necessary for FPT.
FPT is best accomplished using ferrets that are not already in "war mode." Typically, ferrets that are just waking up or trying to sleep make the best FPT devices.
FPT should only be attempted with ferrets that have recently visited the litterbox as the ferret in use may become annoyed at process and make that annoyance known in a rather unpleasant manner.

(Note: No ferrets were harmed in the development of Ferret Phone Typing but I almost passed out when I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath. The ferrets were not as amused, though.)

I don't remember how I first found The Passive Voice but I'm glad I did. It's a blog written by an ex-lawyer that gives both writing insight and (most valuable to me) some insight into contracts and legal rights. Bear in mind that you should always hire appropriate legal advice when you need it and I recommend having someone review each contract you take, but I've picked up some valuable information from reading The Passive Voice.

Subscribe to the Passive Guy's blog and read it consistently. Click on this link (goes directly to the posts flagged "contract") and educate yourself on how various contract clauses work. You won't be sorry!