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Tim FitzHigham’s Followers (5)
Tim FitzHigham
Born
King's Lynn, The United Kingdom
Website
Twitter
Genre
Influences
English eccentrics.
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All At Sea: One man. One bathtub. One very bad idea.
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published
2010
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7 editions
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The Gambler: Complete Series 1-2: A BBC Comedy
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* Note: these are all the books on Goodreads for this author. To add more, click here.
“In a French accent developed through a lifetime of using English I said, 'Hello sir, I would like to row the English Channel in a bath please.'
What actually arrived in the ear of the French Navy man was, 'Hello sire, I would like to fight a condom across a bath if you please.”
― In the Bath: Conquering the Channel in a Piece of Plumbing
What actually arrived in the ear of the French Navy man was, 'Hello sire, I would like to fight a condom across a bath if you please.”
― In the Bath: Conquering the Channel in a Piece of Plumbing
“I phoned the Admiral back.
'It's no use, Admiral, the French speak nothing but French.'
There was a short pause on the end of the line then his voice rattled into life like a sabre.
'They're lying, Tim!'
'What?'
'The French Navy must by law speak English, as English is the international maritime language of the sea.'
'Has anyone told the French that?'
The line went dead for a moment before he thundered, 'Yes Nelson. At the battle of Trafalgar.'
I tried to stifle an irresistibly British giggle not knowing if the Admiral was making a joke or not. I got it right. He was serious.”
― In the Bath: Conquering the Channel in a Piece of Plumbing
'It's no use, Admiral, the French speak nothing but French.'
There was a short pause on the end of the line then his voice rattled into life like a sabre.
'They're lying, Tim!'
'What?'
'The French Navy must by law speak English, as English is the international maritime language of the sea.'
'Has anyone told the French that?'
The line went dead for a moment before he thundered, 'Yes Nelson. At the battle of Trafalgar.'
I tried to stifle an irresistibly British giggle not knowing if the Admiral was making a joke or not. I got it right. He was serious.”
― In the Bath: Conquering the Channel in a Piece of Plumbing
“There's no Coastguard in France. They let the French Navy do it. They have to give them something to do. It's not good for national pride to have to disband it so they turned it into a Coastguard. I think it does a few other bits and bobs too.”
― In the Bath: Conquering the Channel in a Piece of Plumbing
― In the Bath: Conquering the Channel in a Piece of Plumbing
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