Jeff Erno's Blog

NEW RELEASE

Next Time I Fall

Eric Daniels has a habit of falling for unattainable men. For the past two years he's pined for a man younger than him who has no interest in a relationship and just wants to use him. When Eric suddenly finds himself alone and again jilted, he swears it will never happen again. Then he meets Steve. Steve Warren has recently started his job as associate pastor of the local Baptist church. While canvassing the neighborhood to promote the church's vacation Bible school program, he encounters a man who sticks in his memory. Though he doesn't catch his name, he recalls the man's black Labrador retriever, Drake.

Steve has a dog of his own, a boxer named Felix. And when they bump into each other again, not only do the dogs hit it off, but so do the humans. A friendship begins. Steve suddenly finds himself facing the harshest reality he's ever endured. He's been aware of his attraction to men for a long time, but his religion teaches homosexuality is an abomination. How can he reconcile his feelings for Eric with his faith? If he comes out as gay, what will it do to his career, his family, and his church? But he can't go on forever using his religion as a shield to hide behind. Living a lie is bearing false witness, so he must find a way to be true to his faith while following his heart. Is there any way to move forward without hurting a lot of people he loves? Next Time I Fall

NEW RELEASE

Homicide detective Tucker Brown hasn't always made the right decisions, but one thing about his life he'll never regret is his son Jaydin. While at the hospital for his four-year-old's tonsillectomy, he encounters Jaydin's nurse, Ivan Ramsey. Tucker is taken aback, however, when he discovers he's been assigned to investigate the potential murder of Ivan's mother.

Ivan Ramsey is a pediatric nurse, and he loves his job more than life. Raised in a devoutly religious family, he's not yet out to a lot of people, but on the very night he chooses to come out to his mother, she dies tragically in a house fire.Devastated by the news, Ivan all but falls to pieces, and to make matters worse, a cocky, know-it-all police detective shows up asking nosy questions. The cop implies his mother's death might not have been an accident and even infers a family member might be responsible.

Tucker and Ivan at first clash. Their strikingly different personalities are oil and water, but soon they begin to work together to determine the real cause of Ivan's mother's death. In the process, sparks begin to fly and a romance ignites. Ivan falls hard, not only for the sexy detective but also his adorable son.Tucker, equally smitten, has made some discoveries he can't yet reveal to his lover. There are so many loose ends and unanswered questions for both of them, and when the truth finally comes out, it just might tear them apart.Loose Ends

Their love, forbidden yet beautiful, hardly stood a chance surviving in a place like this...
Hot Summer Savings
All back list titles at eXtasy Books are 25% off during the entire month of July, plus a 10% cash-back store credit.

I'm blogging on the Dreamspinner Press blog today, talking about my new release

Stop by and enter to win one of three copies from my back list!

http://blog.dreamspinnerpress.com/201...

In Slim Chance, I chose to portray the dark side of my main character, Oliver Paxton. I elected to offer the reader a peek into the mind of this tortured man. As I set out to write this story about a man who had been struggling with weight issues his whole life, I had a choice to make. I could present him as the heavy-set guy everyone loved and give him an inner monologue that would appeal to readers who were seeking a feel-good romance about a really swell person who happened to be overweight…OR I could present a very flawed but realistic character, a man who has been victimized his entire life and as a result has become his own shield. He’s used cynicism to mask pain. He’s used selfishness to cover vulnerability. He looks out for himself first mentally, mainly because nobody else ever has been there to protect him.
Slim Chance is a story about how a person like Oliver Paxton can change. His transformation is not rapid. He doesn’t magically rid his mind of the negative thoughts, and in fact, he never will. Those who have undergone cognitive therapy know that we can’t control when a negative thought enters our brain, but we can decide whether or not we’ll accept that thought or challenge it. Ultimately, we see Oliver beginning to challenge those thoughts, and more importantly, we see him acting on his decision to be a better person. And love wins.

The Escort

At twenty-five, Travis Sheppard knows all about taking care of himself. He’s been on his own since the age of seventeen, and he learned long ago how to use his assets and natural-born talent to get what he needs…and wants. Travis is a hustler, a male escort, and he caters to men of means who like to shower him with gifts and cash in exchange for his affection—sometimes for his mere presence.

When Travis accepts an overnight gig with a new client, he’s surprised by the fact the customer has pre-paid. When Travis arrives at the gentleman’s surprisingly modest home, he learns that his client is an accomplished, best-selling author. Darren, otherwise known as DJ Torrent, makes Travis a proposal. He wants Travis to accompany him to a gay literature conference. The catch is that for their five days together, Travis is to be more to Darren than just his escort. Darren wants Travis to pose as his husband.

http://www.seatoskybooks.com/5560-the...

I'm excited to introduce my new series, Life Without Parole, a gay prison romance. Available at eXtasy Books

Book One, Fallen Angel


Their love, forbidden yet beautiful, hardly stood a chance of surviving a place like this.

Trey Palmer killed his stepfather three years ago, stabbing him repeatedly with a butcher knife, and now he's facing life behind bars. He doesn't deny what he did, nor does he regret it. But he's plagued with flashbacks of a torturous childhood in which he was abused by this man he finally extinguished. In prison, Trey employs a strategy of avoidance. He becomes a loner and a workaholic, steering clear of the gangs and their drama. His life changes one day, however, when a new cellmate arrives.

Jeremy Banks, also in for murder, decries his innocence. With his long hair and angelic face, he's too pretty for a men's prison. Though at first annoying and mouthy, Jeremy begins to wiggle his way into Trey's heart, and Trey starts to wonder if maybe the kid really is innocent. He truly does seem like an angel. Their feelings for each other evolve, blossoming into something forbidden yet beautiful. But how can a love like theirs last in a place like this?

I'm excited to announce the release of a brand new book, the first of an aquatic shifter series featuring mermen. Book one, Deep Dive, features Sam, a former Olympic diver who works at an aquatic theme park as a stunt diver. He meets and falls in love with coworker, Percy, but soon discovers Percy has some secrets. He's not at all the type of man Sam originally pegged him to be. There's just something mysterious about him.



Now available: http://www.extasybooks.com/Deep-Dive/

Whoever said business and pleasure don’t mix has never been to New Orleans.


Chad Curtiss, a thirty-five year old private equity investor, is a ruthless businessman. He believes it’s a dog-eat-dog world and doesn’t understand people not driven by the desire to acquire their own happiness. Life’s about personal responsibility and making the right choices.
Chad travels to New Orleans on occasion for business and while there, he likes to visit The Men’s Room. The hottest gay club in the city has the hunkiest dancers, the cutest bartenders and the kind of service a man like Chad knows he deserves. While at the bar, he runs into young Richard Foster, a desk clerk from the hotel where he’s staying. He has no intention of becoming involved, but there’s something about the kid Chad can’t dismiss, and that something just might change his entire outlook on life.

My childhood development and coming out story are not so different than that of any other gay man. When I was very young my mother noticed I was different and often told me (and others) that I was “special”. Not special in the “rides the short bus” kind of way, but unique—different from other boys. My early Christmases and birthdays were not like those of most boys. I asked Santa for a Barbie Head (A huge bust of Barbie. It was cool because you could do her makeup and hair) and an Easy Bake Oven. I used to go over to my cousin’s house and spend the day playing Barbies with her. I was the only boy who knew all the girl games. Hopscotch, Down-Down-Baby-Down-By-The-Roller-Coaster, Jump Rope, etcetera. When I was four, Mom caught me in her closet trying on clothes. At age eight I talked our babysitter into painting my fingernails pink because I loved her nail polish.

Around the time I started grade school, I had a religious conversion experience at the Baptist Church’s Vacation Bible School. I had been “born again” or “saved”. I think all the kids who attended got saved. It might have been mandatory. At the very least, it was expected. Well, I took it quite seriously, although I may have been the only one. From that point forward, I was deeply religious.

My religiosity and my effeminacy eventually became synonymous. Well they were to my mother anyway. The fact that I was so devout and so disciplined about my faith was consistent with Mom’s belief that I was special. As I got older I began to figure out that other people had expectations. There were behaviors which were considered normal and others which were not. There were boy toys and girl toys. There were things that boys could like and things that girls could like, and if you happened to be a boy who liked girl things, you had to keep them secret. In the fourth grade I learned how to crochet. I could only do my crocheting at home in secret, though, and making a beautiful afghan was not something I could brag about or be proud of.

By the time I was in the fifth grade, I was being bullied pretty badly at school. I cried a lot and begged my mom not to make me go. This seemed strange to her because she knew how much I had always loved school. Around this time, she and my father were having marital problems and were fighting constantly. Mom took me to a doctor and he prescribed some anti-anxiety medication for me. He told me I needed to stop worrying so much about everything. Mom was convinced that my biggest problem was stress caused by the fighting in our home as well as by the bullying at school. She believed the kids picked on me because I was religious—not because I might be gay.

I was pulled out of the public school in the sixth grade and sent to a Christian school where all my classmates were religious. It should have been the ideal situation for me because I no longer was different. I should have fit right in and been accepted with open arms. During the second week of classes, my teacher held me after class for a one-on-one counseling session. He pulled out his Bible and quoted verses to me from the Old Testament to show me that God wanted boys to act like boys and girls to act like girls. He said I needed to start working on becoming more manly. Follow the example of the other boys in class, he said. I was so embarrassed that I never told anyone.

The bullying continued even at the Christian school, but it was much subtler. One time I was taken into the bathroom and gut punched repeatedly. Another time I had my head flushed in the toilet. I knew I could not tell anyone though. I knew I had to be tough because God expected it.

High school was different. I got sent back to public school because my parents felt that the small Christian school would not have the classes I needed. They didn’t have a chemistry lab or even a gymnasium. Well, that’s what my mom and dad said, but the real reason was that they couldn’t afford the tuition at the Christian school any more. I had thought the bullying was bad in the private school, but it was nothing compared to public. My freshman year of high school was Hell on earth.

When I turned fifteen I began working at the local supermarket as a bagboy. I talked my mom into letting me use the money I made to pay for my own tuition so that I could return to Christian school. I went back in the tenth grade and worked really hard to complete my classes as quickly as possible. I advanced through three grades in just two years and graduated a year early.

Eventually I figured it all out. By the time I was eighteen I knew I was not “special”. I was just gay. I finally left my religion and embraced my authentic self. During the 90s I was very active in my local gay community. I volunteered with PFLAG and the AIDS outreach organization. I moved to a town that had a social group for LGBT people, a Gay Alcoholics Anonymous, and even a gay bar. I stayed in the retail grocery business and eventually became a manager.

Now here it is twenty-some years after high school, and we hear all of this stuff about bullying. We now have Facebook and other social networks which did not exist back when I was growing up, so there is a lot more public discussion about bullying. When a gay kid commits suicide, it doesn’t take long for a lot of people to find out. Every time I hear a story of a kid like Jamey Rodemeyer, my heart breaks. I can’t help but think, “There but for the grace of God…”

When I was a teenager I wished that some adult had understood. I didn’t want to be special. I didn’t want to be given special rights or privileges. I didn’t even want to be noticed. I just wanted to be safe. I just wanted the pain to end.

I do not know how to make things different. I really wish I did. To be truthful, I don’t know what I can do, if anything. That’s why I write. That is why I wrote Bullied . It’s the only thing I could think of to do.

And that’s why the issue of bullying is so important to me.