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Brian Gerard Lewandowski

Goodreads Author

Born

in Buffalo, NY, The United States

Website

https://bluedogfarmva.com

Twitter

RealBrianGerard

Genre

Humor and Comedy, Fiction, Biography

Influences

Christopher Moore
John Irving
Chrostopher Buckley
Kurt Vonnegut
Bill Bryso ...more

Member Since

January 2013

URL

https://www.goodreads.com/briangerardlewandowski

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HE 10-ITEMS-OR-LESS APOCALYPSE arrives on November 26th!!!

Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) writes books critics call "aggressively adequate"—better than "aggressively terrible" but somehow more concerning.

He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia, which consists of three disappointed potted plants and a pig named Trouble McFussbucket who serves as his harshest critic. His wife just smiles politely. The plants have given up entirely.

His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. One editor called it "what would happen if Finnegans Wake had a stroke." He's since published "Not Bukowski HE 10-ITEMS-OR-LESS APOCALYPSE arrives on November 26th!!!

Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) writes books critics call "aggressively adequate"—better than "aggressively terrible" but somehow more concerning.

He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia, which consists of three disappointed potted plants and a pig named Trouble McFussbucket who serves as his harshest critic. His wife just smiles politely. The plants have given up entirely.

His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. One editor called it "what would happen if Finnegans Wake had a stroke." He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme, because discipline is hard) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his wellbeing). His debut novel "Otter Boy" is forthcoming, assuming he resists replacing the manuscript with semicolons and otter doodles before deadline.

Brian once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that was actually a plastic bag. The bag hasn't returned his calls. His photos have graced both the Smithsonian and several Post Offices—the wanted posters captured his good side. He's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies" (cocoa powder in a Ziploc). He called it avant-garde. The pastor's wife called the authorities. The authorities declined.

Inheriting humanism from Steinbeck, absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen suddenly struggling through supernatural chaos—scenarios he understands intimately, since his entire life feels like someone else's fever dream he's forced to live through sober.

He does his best writing where people can't escape: DMV waiting rooms, his car in Target parking lots, and Scottish castles when someone else is paying. His characters are clever and fearless.

Brian remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones. ...more

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Brian Gerard Lewandowski’s books

Average rating: 5.0 · 3 ratings · 2 reviews · 6 distinct works

	Slop and Swill from a Festering Mind it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 1 rating — published 2003 — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Not Bukowski it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 1 rating — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	NOT BUKOWSKI: A BOOK OF VERSES AND STUFF it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 1 rating	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Otter Boy 0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The 10-Items-or-Less Apocalypse 0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Elliot Nessie: A Vinny Vidivici Mystery (#1) 0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

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by Desmond Cormier

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Dec 16, 2025 06:03PM

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Surely You Can't Be Serious: The True Story of Airplane!

by David Zucker

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Oct 21, 2025 03:35PM

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Brian Lewandowski started reading My Summer Vacation on the Cambodian Border by Desmond Cormier	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
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Brian Lewandowski rated a book really liked it The Whyte Python World Tour by Travis Kennedy	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Always been a metalhead and loved the story of Winds of Change and its covert nature. This brought those things together under the auspices of my lost youth. Well done, fast-moving, and funny.
Dec 16, 2025 06:01PM · like · see review · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of The Whyte Python World Tour by Travis Kennedy. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — The Whyte Python World Tour by Travis Kennedy <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">
Brian Lewandowski liked a quote “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer” ...more Douglas Adams
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Dec 03, 2025 07:12AM · like · more quotes by John Irving · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">
Brian Lewandowski rated a book it was amazing NOT BUKOWSKI: A BOOK OF VERSES AND STUFF (THE MORE BETTER GRAMMATICALLY CORRECTER VERSION) by Brian Gerard Lewandowski (Goodreads Author)	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
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Brian Lewandowski rated a book really liked it Anima Rising by Christopher Moore (Goodreads Author)	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
A much better read than a few of the recent Moore novels. I am not a fan of the Shakespearean novels, but this blended sarcastic storytelling with mythology and gosh-darn real artists and analysts. Great fun. Who doesn't love a Frankenstein monster?! ...more
Nov 12, 2025 06:58AM · like · see review · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of Anima Rising by Christopher Moore. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — Anima Rising by Christopher Moore <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">
Brian Lewandowski started reading The Whyte Python World Tour by Travis Kennedy	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
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Brian Lewandowski rated a book really liked it Anima Rising by Christopher Moore (Goodreads Author)	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
A much better read than a few of the recent Moore novels. I am not a fan of the Shakespearean novels, but this blended sarcastic storytelling with mythology and gosh-darn real artists and analysts. Great fun. Who doesn't love a Frankenstein monster?! ...more
Nov 12, 2025 06:57AM · like · see review · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of Anima Rising by Christopher Moore. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — Anima Rising by Christopher Moore <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">
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Oct 21, 2025 03:59PM · see review · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">