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Richard Happer

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Genre

Fiction, History, Humor and Comedy

Member Since

November 2016

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How do you deal with writer’s block?

Richard Happer I stumbled on the solution to writer's block by accident one dark January night. Feeling low and short of ideas I left the house, walked up to the mai…moreI stumbled on the solution to writer's block by accident one dark January night. Feeling low and short of ideas I left the house, walked up to the main street and hopped on the first bus that came along. I sat right at the back, upstairs, and stared out at the slashing rain. The streetlights pulsed past. I could hear the swishing of the bus tyres in the puddles. One by one the other passengers got off. The rain became heavier. Fat drops pounding on the other side of the glass from my cold cheek. My eyelids closed, I suppose, and I drifted off into a sort of sleep.
I snapped awake.
The bus had stopped. It was totally dark outside. I couldn't see anything in the blackness. I could hear the rain was still falling, but it was gentler now. Were we in the terminus?
"You got money, laddie?"
Huh-?!
My head snapped round.
Sitting on the seat next to me was an old man. He wore a crumpled, dirty donkey jacket and had a thick, messy beard. But his eyes were young and blue. They seemed to peer at me from another place.
"What for?" I replied.
"For this," he said, and thrust a dog-eared jotter - the grey type that you get given at school - into my hands.
"What is it?" I asked. But he merely gestured for me to open it.
I did. Inside, every line of every page of the jotter was filled with the most beautiful copper-plate script.
I read a few lines. The first one read, "An idea for a novel about three lovesick men who walk Scotland's West Highland Way. It will be romantic, funny, and a little sad. Here is the full plot..." I skipped ahead a couple of pages. I read another line, "An idea for a novel about a frustrated but endearing man who invents a time-travelling bed so that he can go back and get his 19-year-old self to sort his love life out." The jotter was full, page after page, with such notions.
I looked up at the old man.
"These are interesting ideas," I said.
"They are," he replied. "And though they might not produce bestsellers, these ideas are good for you. Will you buy them?"
"I would," I replied, "but I don't have any money."
"We could make an alternative arrangement," said the old man.
"Like what?"
He reached a grubby, claw-like hand into his dirty donkey jacket and pulled out a rumpled sheet of paper and a pen.
"Just sign this," he said, jabbing the paper into my hands.
"That's all I have to do?" I asked. "Just write my name on this piece of paper and you'll give me this jotter full of ideas for books?"
"Yes."
I shrugged.
"Sure," I said. "Seems like a good deal."
So I signed the piece of paper. The man gave me the jotter. A streetlight flashed by outside the window, suddenly bright. I shielded my eyes. When the streetlight passed I looked round.
The old man had gone.
But where...?
I ran along to the stairs and hurried down them. The bus was stationary, but it wasn't the terminus. It was my stop. There were no other passengers. Just me.
"You getting off or what, pal?" said the driver. "Some of us have got homes to go to."
I got off. I went home. I sat down at my desk. I opened the jotter. I started to write a novel, following the plan on the first page. It went well, and my book got published. More books followed, all as written for me in the jotter.
I never saw the old man with the young eyes again.
But since that night, I have never had to worry about writer's block. When I finish writing a book, I just go back to the jotter for another idea. There are more than enough to last me my lifetime.
So if you ever find yourself out of ideas, head out to the street, get on a bus to anywhere and watch out for the old man. It worked for me and I'm sure it will work for you.
After all, what could possibly go wrong?(less)

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What’s the best thing about being a writer?

Richard Happer My jet-set lifestyle and gold-plated lavatory seat.

Seriously, though, it does help people understand why I go through so much wine.…moreMy jet-set lifestyle and gold-plated lavatory seat.

Seriously, though, it does help people understand why I go through so much wine.(less)

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Richard Happer’s books

Average rating: 3.91 · 512 ratings · 89 reviews · 40 distinct works • Similar authors

	Abandoned Places: 60 Stories of Places Where Time Stopped 4.14 avg rating — 135 ratings — published 2015 — 7 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Hills are Stuffed with Swedish Girls 3.79 avg rating — 111 ratings — published 2009 — 3 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	100 Greatest Children's Poems and Nursery Rhymes: Classic Poems for Children from the World's Best-Loved Authors 4.31 avg rating — 35 ratings — published 2015 — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	100 GREATEST WEDDING POEMS AND READINGS: Classic Poems of Love and Marriage by the World's Best-Loved Writers 3.45 avg rating — 22 ratings — published 2015 — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Bizarre Competitions: 101 Ways to Become a World Champion 3.72 avg rating — 18 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	365 Reasons To Be Proud To Be British: Magical moments in our great history 3.05 avg rating — 19 ratings — published 2011 — 3 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	100 Greatest Love Poems: All-Time Classic Love Poems by the World's Best-Loved Poets 4.23 avg rating — 13 ratings — published 2015	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	365 Reasons To Be Cheerful: Magical Moments to Cheer Up Miserable Sods… One Day at a Time 3.53 avg rating — 15 ratings — published 2010 — 4 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	365 Reasons to be Proud to be a Londoner: Magical Moments in London's History 3.54 avg rating — 13 ratings — published 2015 — 3 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	365 Reasons to be Proud to be Scottish: Magical moments in Scotland's history 3.64 avg rating — 11 ratings — published 2013 — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

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Quotes by Richard Happer (?)

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
― Richard Happer, 100 Greatest Love Poems: All-Time Classic Love Poems by the World's Best-Loved Poets

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“Greenwich got the nod because 72 per cent of the world's commerce depended on British sea-charts - and because it annoyed the French intensely.”
― Richard Happer, 365 Reasons to be Proud to be a Londoner: Magical Moments in London's History

tags: london-french-greenwich

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