Judith Valente's Blog: Mindfulness in the Age of Twitter - Posts Tagged "consensus"

I'm thankful to have been interviewed about How to Live by Niala Boodhoo today on Illinois Public Media's "The 21st" radio show.

Here's a link to the entire hour. My interview starts at 17:00 minutes. https://will.illinois.edu/player/audi...

Here are some things I mention:
We’re talking too much at and over each other, but we’re not listening enough to each other. St. Benedict asks us to listen with the ear of the heart. That’s something that I’m pretty concerned about in our culture.

On listening with the ear of the art: "I think that means each person who comes into our life brings something to us, whether we recognize it or not. The idea of hospitality goes hand in hand with listening in the Benedictine world. Everyone we encounter has some gift, which may at first appear hidden. I think this is relevant about our discussion about immigration and refugees in our country.
It’s a misconception that monasteries were a place that walled themselves off from the rest of the world. That’s not completely true. The doors of the monasteries then, and now, remain open to guests."

"There was always a position in the monastery called the Porter. His job was to greet guests. He was to say one of two things: “Thanks be to God” or “Your blessing please” whenever anyone knocked on the door. I think those are such interesting greetings.
They both say they’re expecting good in the encounter with the guest. We’ve almost turned that around today. We see the other as a threat. That’s completely in contrast to the monastic value of listening and caring for the other."

One line that’s really interesting is where he says.” Be the first to show respect to the other one another’s weakness and behavior.” That is the most counter-cultural line in The Rule and the one that’s most necessary for what we are encountering in our public discourse. If you take anything away from monastic life, you still have to keep community. It’s really interesting about how they make decisions by consensus.

"Here’s what’s so interesting about consensus and what I think we need so much in our society — Once the decision is made, everybody pulls in the same direction, everybody tries to make it work."

"I’m a journalist and we’re covered so much on the affordable care act, health care reform. Think about what would have happened in this country if we had tried to improve the act, instead of trying to tear it apart. It’s that kind of thing. People in a Community understand that it’s the community that’s what’s important and you have to move forward together. "

"Silence really makes you accompany yourself in your journey in life. When you don’t have the distractions of your cell phone, email, and social media, who’s there? You, and for those of us who believe, we would say it’s the divine. It’s often in those moments of silence I come face to face we things I need to confront. I get inspiration. All of a sudden in the silence, the answer comes."

Excitable, anxious, extreme, obstinate, jealous or overly-suspicious he or she must not be. Such a [leader] is never at rest.

That advice might sound as though it’s ripped from this week’s headlines. It actually come from an unlikely source: The Rule of St. Benedict, written 16 centuries ago for people living within monasteries. The enduring wisdom of these words resounded loudly for me this week as I watched with millions of Americans the wrenching spectacle of the Kavanaugh Supreme Court nomination hearing.

Re-reading the chapters of The Rule that deal with qualities of a leader, I was struck again not only by the forward-thinking of Benedict of Nursia, but how critical his message is for our time. Benedict advocates a profile in courageous leadership that seems to all but have disappeared from the U.S. political landscape.

“Only in this are we distinguished,” he writes, “if we are found better than others in good works and humility.” Good works and humility. Hardly the measurements in vogue these days. Hardly the qualities on display this past week in our national leaders.

Howard Schultz, the entrepreneur largely responsible for Starbucks’ distinctive allure, often speaks of “leading from the heart.” Schultz vision is echoed in The Rule. Back in the sixth century, Benedict applied an alternative name to the person entrusted with a leadership role: that of servant.

In a Benedictine world view, true leaders don’t place their personal interests above all else. Winning isn’t everything. Working for the good of all is. The best leaders, Benedict says, are teachers, not dictators. To those of whom much is given, much is expected. Perhaps the most revolutionary of all Benedict’s ideas is the model he asks leaders to imitate: that of Christ.
Speaking of the monastic context, he says, “The prioress or abbot must always remember what she or he is . . . aware that more will be expected of one to whom more has been entrusted ... Anyone who receives the name of prioress or abbot is to lead...by living example.”

Benedict also reminds us that leaders mustn’t become so obsessed with results or coming out on top that they neglect the well-being of those around them. Whether one’s arena is politics, business, academia, the not-for-profit sector, or a monastery, a leader’s foremost concern is people. Or, as Benedict puts it so beautifully, the care of souls. “Above all, they must not show too great concern for the fleeting and temporal things of this world, neglecting or treating lightly the welfare of those entrusted to them,” he writes. “Rather they should keep in mind that they have undertaken the care of souls for whom they must give account.”

The best leaders I’ve worked with in my journalism career were those who cared as much about my personal development as my professional output. They were the editors and news directors who understood that people aren’t interchangeable parts. They gave me assignments that engaged the best of my talent.

Far ahead of his time, St. Benedict recognized that human beings are complex creatures who don’t all respond to the same prompts. Good leaders, he says, “will accommodate and adapt themselves to each one’s character and intelligence.”

The most effective ones “must know what a difficult and demanding burden they have undertaken: directing souls and serving a variety of temperaments, coaxing, reproving and encouraging them as appropriate." Above all, he emphasizes kindness, noting “A kind word is better than the best gift.”

Perhaps the Benedictine Rule should be required reading for every member of Congress, the judiciary and executive branch. Perhaps then kindness will replace anger in our public discourse. Consensus will overtake conflict. Service will outweigh self-aggrandizement. Dignity and decorum will define our democracy. Is that too much to ask?

The U.S. government shutdown has ended ­— for the time being. It’s probably only a matter of time before the next political standoff. It might be hard-wired into our American psyche to want to prevail at any cost. But is there a better way? Monasteries might seem like an odd model for government, but the way monastic communities reach decisions offers important lessons. Monasteries still practice the disappearing art of consensus.

Monastic decision making is a slow, deliberate process of discernment. It rests on people operating from a set of agreed-upon facts (not exaggerations or outright falsehoods, as we have seen in current political debates). Everyone receives the same amount of information and data. The books are opened, so to speak.

Each member of the monastic community gets a chance to weigh in, regardless of age, seniority, or stature. St. Benedict insisted on this practice in his Rule for monastic life. In doing so, he upended the customs of the 6th century in which only men of certain means received a place at the table. Benedict believed fresh ideas often emanate from the young. “All should be called to counsel,” he wrote, because it is often the young who see more clearly “what is better.”
Rule of St. Benedict

We’re subjected regularly to people talking over one another, arguing, and insulting each other on cable news shows. Benedict wants none of that. “Community members, for their part, are to express their opinions with all humility, and not to presume to defend their own views obstinately,” he wrote.
Nor is it a case of majority rules. Community members have to pay attention to where the will of the majority is trending. But those in the majority, Benedict said, need to heed the concerns of the minority as well. They are to insure those concerns are addressed to the extent possible in any final decision.

And here is possibly the most important part: once a course of action is decided, the entire community agrees to pull in the same direction. Even those who initially opposed a course of action agree to try to make it work. No throwing stones from the outside in.

I often think of how much time and energy some in the U.S. Congress have expended over the past 10 years trying to repeal the Obama administration’s Affordable Care Act. What if that same amount of energy had gone into trying to improve it?

The time — and prayer — that goes into arriving at consensus in a monastic setting is likely far more than we can hope for in the business or public sector. But the transparency and mutual respect with which decisions are made — as well as the willingness to listen to all points of view — can serve as a model.

Consensus is a process. It reminds us that no one person possesses all of the truth all of the time. No one is right a hundred percent of the time. Each of us holds a piece of the wisdom we need to move forward. Often, the best path to progress is by the winding way of consensus.