Judith Valente's Blog: Mindfulness in the Age of Twitter - Posts Tagged "conversation"
Listening and Healing
I find myself once again this weekend nestled within the verdant, peaceful surroundings of the Chiara Franciscan Spirituality Center in Springfield, IL. Normally I don’t watch cable news when I am on retreat, but this time I felt compelled to look at the images of last summer’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA.
News footage of young men carrying torches, giving the Nazi salute, fist-fighting, throwing stones, and hurtling insults at their fellow citizens flashes across the TV screen in sharp contrast with the prayerful tranquility of my surroundings. Stations continuously replay the scene of a car driven by a white supremacist plowing into a crowd of counter-protesters, killing one woman and injuring others. Commentator after commentator comes on to condemn one side, then the other. Meanwhile, in real time, another supremacist group prepares to rally in front of the White House.
On this first anniversary of the Charlottesville tragedy, I feel I have to confront the unfolding divisions tearing at the fabric of our nation. Is there any way to prevent the rage, the violence, the mutual suspicion from spreading its poison?
I find myself returning again to the timeless wisdom of the sixth century Rule of St. Benedict. Benedict, the founder of western monasticism, well understood that human beings can and will mess up. Even in a monastic community, there could be conflict, anger, and fear of change. Benedict established a protocol for dealing with these difficulties. First, he asked people to own up to their destructive behaviors. If someone was unwilling to do so, he recommended that a trusted person – someone with standing and gravitas in the community who has perhaps struggled with the same demons – confront the other person. Benedict wasn’t so much interested in condemning or punishing, as in changing behavior, and making amends.
The way that can happen is through dialogue. There can be no fruitful dialogue without careful, respectful listening --and the willingness to confront complex questions. What is really behind the fear that makes members of white supremacist groups feel so threatened? How can those of us who come from immigrant families, or who are members of minorities express to them that this fear is unfounded?
Progress just might come when people are willing to sit in a room and have a conversation. The word conversation, after all, means to ‘turn with,’ in other words,’ to change.’ With change, there can be healing. It will not be perfect healing, but what things in this life are perfect? We must start somewhere to bind the divisions that have erupted so forcefully and publicly.
The Franciscan retreat center where I am staying is steeped in the spirituality of St. Francis of Assisi, who stressed simplicity, care for all of creation, and above all, peace. A brochure in my room bears a quote from Jesuit Father John Dear, a student of St. Francis and modern-day peace activist.
Father John Dear writes: “Francis of Assisi embodies the journey from violence to non-violence, wealth to poverty, power to powerlessness, selfishness to selfless service, pride to humility, indifference to love, cruelty to compassion, vengeance to forgiveness, revenge to reconciliation, war to peace, killing enemies to loving enemies.”
If we practiced those values, Father Dear says, “we would share the world’s resources with one another, having nothing to fear from others, and live in peace.”
Can we give ourselves the challenge of those words as move forward this week from the memory of Charlottesville?
News footage of young men carrying torches, giving the Nazi salute, fist-fighting, throwing stones, and hurtling insults at their fellow citizens flashes across the TV screen in sharp contrast with the prayerful tranquility of my surroundings. Stations continuously replay the scene of a car driven by a white supremacist plowing into a crowd of counter-protesters, killing one woman and injuring others. Commentator after commentator comes on to condemn one side, then the other. Meanwhile, in real time, another supremacist group prepares to rally in front of the White House.
On this first anniversary of the Charlottesville tragedy, I feel I have to confront the unfolding divisions tearing at the fabric of our nation. Is there any way to prevent the rage, the violence, the mutual suspicion from spreading its poison?
I find myself returning again to the timeless wisdom of the sixth century Rule of St. Benedict. Benedict, the founder of western monasticism, well understood that human beings can and will mess up. Even in a monastic community, there could be conflict, anger, and fear of change. Benedict established a protocol for dealing with these difficulties. First, he asked people to own up to their destructive behaviors. If someone was unwilling to do so, he recommended that a trusted person – someone with standing and gravitas in the community who has perhaps struggled with the same demons – confront the other person. Benedict wasn’t so much interested in condemning or punishing, as in changing behavior, and making amends.
The way that can happen is through dialogue. There can be no fruitful dialogue without careful, respectful listening --and the willingness to confront complex questions. What is really behind the fear that makes members of white supremacist groups feel so threatened? How can those of us who come from immigrant families, or who are members of minorities express to them that this fear is unfounded?
Progress just might come when people are willing to sit in a room and have a conversation. The word conversation, after all, means to ‘turn with,’ in other words,’ to change.’ With change, there can be healing. It will not be perfect healing, but what things in this life are perfect? We must start somewhere to bind the divisions that have erupted so forcefully and publicly.
The Franciscan retreat center where I am staying is steeped in the spirituality of St. Francis of Assisi, who stressed simplicity, care for all of creation, and above all, peace. A brochure in my room bears a quote from Jesuit Father John Dear, a student of St. Francis and modern-day peace activist.
Father John Dear writes: “Francis of Assisi embodies the journey from violence to non-violence, wealth to poverty, power to powerlessness, selfishness to selfless service, pride to humility, indifference to love, cruelty to compassion, vengeance to forgiveness, revenge to reconciliation, war to peace, killing enemies to loving enemies.”
If we practiced those values, Father Dear says, “we would share the world’s resources with one another, having nothing to fear from others, and live in peace.”
Can we give ourselves the challenge of those words as move forward this week from the memory of Charlottesville?
Mindfulness in the Age of Twitter
In my blog, I focus on thoughts based on my new book (published from Hampton Roads) How to Live: What the Rule of St. Benedict Teaches Us About Happiness, Meaning & Community as well as from my previ
...more
- Judith Valente's profile
- 39 followers
