Jennifer B. Kahnweiler's Blog

I am more than delighted to feature this guest post by my friend and colleague, Becky Robinson, author of the terrific new book Reach, Create the Biggest Possible Audience for Your Message, Book or Cause, launching on Tuesday, April 19th. Becky and her team have launched over 150 books and in this insightful post she helps introverts and extroverts cut through the noise. 

Self-Promotion: How to Create Reach–Whether You Identify As an Introvert or Extrovert
By Becky Robinson, Founder and CEO of Weaving Influence 

“I’m not comfortable promoting myself,” is the most common phrase I hear from authors, thought leaders, and other content creators who are resistant to market their work. Although I haven’t kept any data, I suspect I hear this more often from introverts, who may be drained by being in front of large groups, who may feel more comfortable in behind-the-scenes roles, or who may prefer time to think before expressing themselves.

Of course we associate self-promotion as being a strength of extroverts. Self-promotion is loud, out-spoken, the life of the party, the center of attention, the ring leader, and/or the perceived star. 

Both introverts and extroverts feel more comfortable with marketing themselves and their work when I offer a simple reframe. Here are 3 ways to do that. 

1. Marketing, whether it is for your book, for your ideas, for your product or service, is not self-promotion at all.

Instead, it’s message promotion. It’s value promotion. If we can begin to see marketing as a way of offering value to others, we will realize that no personality trait excludes us from marketing. 

How can you allow your unique personality to shine through when sharing your ideas with the world? What are some ways introverts and extroverts choose to market their messages? 

2. If you want to create the biggest possible audience for your work, showing up online is a requirement.

Building an online presence offers anyone the opportunity to reach people anywhere, at any time. The most important asset anyone can create is a website that they own and control, one that clearly communicates their unique value and content to the world. You can express your personality through your website using color, font, images, and language. 

Here’s a fun experiment to try: visit a few websites to see if you can identify whether the person is an introvert or an extrovert or whether it might appeal to introverts or extroverts. Shelley Paxton’s website, Soulbattical.com practically shouts her extrovert personality. Susan Cain’s website is slightly more understated and quiet, while still warm and welcoming. Though I’ve identified two sites where you may be able to tell whether the owner is an introvert or extrovert, it may be impossible to tell. What we can learn from this is that the internet is a place that can be safe or comfortable, regardless of whether you gain energy from being with people or are depleted by it. 

Once you’ve looked at others’ websites, take a look at your own. How well does your website help others get to know you and your personality? Would I be able to determine your psychological preference for introversion or extroversion from your site? Take a look at my site. Can you tell that I am an extrovert? 

3. Every personality type offers value to the world, and each of us can choose how to share that value with others.

Content can be a communication vehicle for the value we offer, and it comes in a variety of forms. It’s possible that your personality type will influence what type of content you choose to create. 

Perhaps you’re an introvert who would far rather write articles than host a podcast. You might want to write a book instead of creating video. Ann Van Eron, an author I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know, brings the concepts of her books to life through hand-drawn illustrations. 

For me personally, although I create content in lots of forms, I get the most energy when I develop interactive content: podcast interviews, webinars, live streams, and in-person or virtual speaking and workshops. I also love writing. 

Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you may need to experiment with content creation and try various methods of content distribution before you discover what’s best for you and your audience. There are no rules or right or wrong ways to share value with others. What’s important is to identify an approach to creating and a method for sharing content that you enjoy, since consistently providing content will help you grow an engaged audience. 

The bottom line? You don’t have to be comfortable with self-promotion to be an effective marketer. Message promotion does not require a particular personality trait or type. Anyone can share value with others through their online presence in ways that feel comfortable, natural, and align with their personality. 

 

Becky Robinson is the Founder and CEO of Weaving Influence , a full-service marketing agency that specializes in digital and integrated marketing services and public relations for book authors, including business leaders, coaches, trainers, speakers, and thought leaders. Her first book with Berrett-Koehler Publishers titled, Reach: Create the Biggest Possible Audience for Your Message, Book, or Cause , launches this week. 

LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/beckyrbnsn/
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/BeckyRbnsn
Twitter – https://twitter.com/beckyrbnsn
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/beckyrbnsn/

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I am so pleased to host this guest blog post about human connection by my friend and colleague, Ryan Jenkins. I look forward to hearing your thoughts about this timely topic of loneliness and connection. 

As an introvert, I recently wrote a book about human connection. It’s called, Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams from Isolated to All In and is about overcoming loneliness in a world of growing isolation.

It’s said that authors often write the books they themselves need to read. That was true for me.

Though I don’t suffer from chronic loneliness, during the pandemic I found it increasingly easy to isolate from others and trade social connections for the convenience of meal delivery, remote work, and Netflix-binging. It took a 2-year long immersion into the science of loneliness and belonging to wake me up to the significance of connection.

Here are 5 lessons I learned about loneliness and human connection.

Lesson #1: Loneliness is NOT the absence of people but the absence of connection.

Someone can be in a crowded office and still experience loneliness. Conversely, a solo remote worker can be fully engaged in their work and not feel lonely. When a person is disconnected from themselves, their team or community, the culture, or the work they’re involved with loneliness can follow.

Loneliness is multi-dimensional, and introverts can lessen loneliness by strengthening connections in other ways outside of other people.

Lesson #2: Our brains mislead us about human connection.

Loneliness doesn’t discriminate. Loneliness doesn’t know if you are at work or home, young or old, extroverted or introverted.

Researchers recently studied folks on trains, city buses, cabs, airports, and waiting rooms to measure if folks would have a better experience keeping to themselves or connecting with a stranger. Every environment they tested had the same results: people were happier when they were connecting with others.

They also discovered that there was no difference between introverts and extroverts. Introverts enjoyed connecting with others as much as extroverts did. What tends to vary is their expectations. Introverts who expect not to enjoy a conversation will choose not to engage. However, on average, both felt happier when connecting with others.

Yet when participants were surveyed at the beginning of the study, most said they expected to have a worse experience when connecting with others. Most people wrongly predicted that engaging with others wouldn’t be pleasant. Our brains mislead us.  We all crave connection.

Lesson #3: Loneliness isn’t shameful; it’s a signal.

People need to stop beating themselves up over their feelings of loneliness. It’s normal. It’s a universal human condition. In fact, it’s useful.

Why?

The same complex homeostatic system in our brains that drives us to eat and drink is similar to what drives us to connect and converse. Akin to hunger, loneliness is our biological signal to seek connection. Hunger motivates us to eat. It’s a motivational force to forge strong relationships. It’s our innate reminder that our presence matters to others. It’s proof we need each other.

Lesson #4: Aloneness can lessen loneliness.

I’m not antisocial. I’m pro-solitude. And it turns out, solitude is insurance against loneliness.

The negative state of isolation is loneliness. The positive state of isolation is solitude. Solitude is a state of being alone without the emotions of loneliness. When we experience loneliness, we want to escape it as it is an unpleasant emotion.

On the other hand, solitude, which is the comfort zone for introverts, is peaceful aloneness created by a state of voluntary isolation. Solitude can take many forms such as self-reflection, meditation, mindfulness exercises, or a quiet break from the demands of life. Solitude offers the opportunity to connect inwardly with oneself. Emotional well-being, clarity, creativity, and perspective are some of the benefits of intentional and healthy solitude.

Solitude seems to be more and more elusive in today’s distraction-prone world. But when solitude is fought for and done right, it helps to strengthen the connection with ourselves that in turn equips us to connect more deeply with others.

Lesson #5: Connections don’t have to be lasting to be meaningful.

As an introvert and highly ambitious person, I often didn’t make the effort to connect with people I knew weren’t going to be involved long-term in my life. A stranger in the elevator, a local barista, or an Uber driver never really got my full presence and attention. However, research proves that it only takes 40 seconds for loneliness to lessen during a two-person interaction.

Now that I am aware of how critical social connections are to my well-being and the well-being of others—and how little time it takes to garner a sense of connection—I make an effort every day, no matter how fleeting, to connect. I have personally experienced an elevated well-being and seen it in those I interact with.

So take it from this introverted author. No matter how hard an exterior you have, or how task-focused, introverted, or results-driven you are, at the end of the day, we all pine for people. No matter the barriers we intentionally or unintentionally put between ourselves and others, life is absolutely better together—when we have that human connection.

 

Ryan Jenkins, CSP is an internationally-recognized keynote speaker, virtual trainer, and three-time published author. His latest book is Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated to All In. For a decade, he has helped organizations optimize generational dynamics, lessen worker loneliness, and prepare for the future of work. He is also co-founder of LessLonely.com, the world’s first resource fully dedicated to reducing worker isolation and strengthening team connections. Ryan lives in Atlanta, GA with his wife, three children, and yellow Labrador. Learn more at RyanJenkins.com.

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“I love remote working, and now wouldn’t take a role that had me in the office every day… I think more companies need to implement flexible work weeks.”

We uncovered this comment and many like it about remote work in a survey of 200 introverts for Creating Introvert-Friendly Workplaces. This was before the pandemic hit. Little did we know that circumstances would shift millions of jobs to our homes, where many of them will now remain for the foreseeable future.

About a year into the pandemic, we conducted another survey focusing on introverts. It revealed that remote work was a hands down winner due primarily to less stress, no commutes, and less interruptions.

Against a backdrop of intense change (termed Flux by author April Rinne)  we have also had a chance to learn and weigh the impacts of these changes on all types of “verts” – introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts.

Lessons to Apply

Want to keep everyone involved and contributing?  We’ve gathered ideas from our discussions with leaders in a wide variety of fields and organizations as they straddle decisions about remote work. Some of them are new ideas, but most draw on sound leadership theory and practice. Here are three lessons.

Connect – Be intentional about doing this as a leader and teammate. “Check in” calls can be short but should be a regular part of our interactions. Ask people how they are doing before diving straight into the work. This is a best practice from the pandemic and we know people appreciated it more than anything. It builds trust. It also helps us be more effective at our jobs by knowing what others are focused on at work and at home.

Be creative by getting people to meet across functions through ERG’s, Book Clubs, and Mentoring programs.

Extroverts will get energized from these connections and introverts will appreciate the opportunity to share more than small talk and engage in authentic one-on-one conversations.

Call introverts if you have scheduled some time first. Extroverts might be okay if you call spontaneously, but do ask if they prefer an appointment.

Be a Virtual Ninja – Even the neophytes among us have amped up our Zoom skills over the last few years. Agree on your cameras on/off guidelines together and know that it helps to see faces whenever possible. Balance this with the fatigue factor.

Use those breakouts, chats, shared screens, and polls to engage everyone in meetings and trainings. Schedule your meetings so that there is some space between them. You can agree on this as a team or even as a company like Capital One and Synchrony have. That means ending meetings 5-10 minutes to give people breathing room and bio breaks.

Listen, Really Listen – This goes with point #1, but is important in all your interactions. It is so easy to multitask when on calls all day – but don’t. You might miss a key point that will help you gain insight into a project, task, or person.

In a typical group session, the ideas of quieter contributors rarely surface. One sales leader realized that none of the introverts shared during weekly conference calls and so he gave others a chance to be heard. “I decided to wait for at least five comments before I spoke up. It was hard, but worth it because we heard many new voices.”

My hats off to all of you who are faced with the decisions about remote, hybrid, and office work. You have done it with grace. We will see how the future unfolds and if verts of all kind continue to weigh in with resounding nods to remote work. Putting some of these lessons into play will increase the chances of success while we are figuring it out.

The post Remote Work: 3 Lessons from the Last Two Years appeared first on Jennifer Kahnweiler.

It’s been almost 2 years since I gave a live presentation in front of an audience!

Last week, I eagerly drove up the road to the University of Georgia where I presented to a group of Ph.D. students and professors committed to innovation. They were hungry to learn about entrepreneurship and how to better understand introverted leadership. They wanted to know how to get the best out of all our talent and were super ready to engage!

I had convinced myself that the time spent delivering speeches, conducting interviews, and facilitating classes virtually over 2020-2021 was “just as good” as the real thing. But I believe that I was fooling myself. There is not much that beats being live with people in a live presentation.

I am not denying that those Zoom sessions have merit. The chance to chat and do breakouts were life savers and enhanced my deliveries through a 2-year period when we needed to sharpen our skills and connect. But like the original Coke® beats the taste of Coke Zero®, being live rocks!

Here are a few observations from this first experience returning to a live presentation.

1. A Discussion Format Works Great
I suggested our set up be an interview style format with discussion. We asked one of the former program participants who was an introvert to kick things off. It set up the conversational tone we aimed for, and since we anticipated a smaller group, this design fit the bill. It also helped me, as a presenter, get the kinks out after the extended time off the stage.

Several participants shared the hard time they were having getting back into the swing of conversation. One person gave a suggestion to another and commented on their points. In all my hundreds of facilitations on Zoom, it never felt that fluid.

Let’s face it, we are all rusty. It is one thing to do chit chat before a virtual meeting, but how about when you are eating lunch together or standing around waiting for a session to begin? Those conversational neural pathways have tightened up and we all need to relearn how to ask open-ended questions and practice paraphrasing after such a long time conversing with just a few or even just ourselves!

2. Read Micro Expressions and Body Language
This one surprised me. Maybe because it has been many months, but I found myself noticing people’s expressions more. The lift of an eyebrow, the slight frown, or the tense mouth all caught my attention. In my book, The Introverted Leader, Author Dirk Eilert explains that the facial muscles are directly connected to our brain’s emotion center. Facial signals reliably show how someone is feeling through movements called micro expressions. These occur unconsciously and give an indication of emotions and objections, which the person is not yet aware of, or which are supposed to be hidden. They help us to read their message more effectively.

And as a speaker, I was able to use my body and face to bring my points across with emphasis. Being in the same physical space, even socially distanced, allowed this more holistic communication to happen.

3. Delight in Focused Conversations
Connecting one-on-one is so powerful. In research for my book, Quiet Influence, we found that introverts use these dialogues to make a difference and influence others. I signed books after the formal program and was inspired as I heard about the parrticipants’ unique and important work in science, engineering, and health.

Many of the all-female attendees were in the STEM area and were making discoveries such as how to keep chickens virus-free, the connection of male infertility to medications, and important climate-related challenges.  Rich mutual learning occurred in each one of these conversations as I learned from them and was able to answer their questions about becoming confident, being heard in meetings, and setting boundaries when it came to helping others. These are important in their key roles as researchers and business founders.

4. Relish the Laughter
The comedian Victor Borge said, “The shortest distance between two people is a smile.” Laugher relieves stress, according to the Mayo Clinic. I realized I haven’t laughed enough lately, and the laughter we enjoyed together was liberating and helped me build trust with my audience.

Final Thoughts on the Wins of Presenting Live
Here is an excerpt from a poem I wrote after one virtual presentation last winter:

“…. now alone with a black screen
stand up and stretch
click off the switch
on the tall black studio light
adrenaline dissipates
as you walk into the
dark, chilly hall”

There was no “dark, chilly hall” after this event! Yes, the 90-minute drive home from Athens, GA included insane traffic and getting cut off by a few semi-trucks on I-85, which is never relaxing. I arrived home tired, but simultaneously energized from being with people in a live presentation.

I believe that we will figure out how to make hybrid learning work. Being live together when it makes sense and pushing the Zoom button at other times will happen. Virtual sessions are just too convenient and impactful. It allows us to reach so many more people around the world.

But I also know the impact we can have when being in community. I am looking forward to the next time I can head to my closet and retrieve work clothes buried underneath those leggings. I hope to see you in both places!

The post Four Tips For Delivering an Actual Live Presentation appeared first on Jennifer Kahnweiler.

Accel5, is a microlearning solution company for employees looking to improve critical soft skills like leadership, teamwork, communication, innovation, and many others. They offer best practices from world-class business authors and executives in three formats: videos, summaries of business books, and articles.

I recently sat down with them for a Q&A where they asked for advice on creating an inclusive workplace for introverts and extroverts and strategies for both types of people to succeed.

Q: Your books and videos that appear on Accel5® focus on the management styles of introverts and extroverts. Why is it important to focus on those two aspects of leadership?

One of the hallmarks of a strong leader is self-knowledge. The more we know about our own personality assets and liabilities, the more we can apply them effectively. We are then also able to better understand and flex to the needs of others.

What I have learned from working with both introverts and extroverts is that we all can run into blind spots. For instance, introverts, who have success with careful preparation and deep thought, can also overuse these characteristics and stall out. Extroverts, who bring outgoing energy and expressiveness to a room, can overwhelm others and cut them off if they don’t temper these strengths.

Knowing who we are allows us to take our “temperature” at any point in time and recalibrate our approach based on the situation.

Click here to read the entire Q&A for creating an inclusive workplace.

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I was so glad to enter the pandemic with some years of virtual presenting under my belt. I felt like I had seen it all in virtual learning – lost internet connections, slide show fiascos, and dead silence. And I knew I could manage through all those mini crises.

Through these courses, workshops, and panel presentations one theme did emerge. Introverts, those folks who are prone to think before talking, and who are not afraid to embrace silence, really seemed to blossom on these platforms.

So, when the pandemic suddenly forced all of us into virtual meeting and learning modes, I wasn’t afraid to make the transition from live gigs. I knew that my introverted clients were already comfortable and even thrived there. I even wrote about that earlier.

So, what about virtual learning works for introverted audiences? Let me share 5 of those advantages:

Comments in the Chat – This is your best friend with introverts. They like to express themselves in writing, and the chat allows them to think and then craft questions and comments. In a presentation on introverted leadership last week, one woman opened up about her daughter’s social anxiety and received several resources and support within a matter of minutes: all through the chat. Being able to save those discussions on chat discussions , allows you to follow up with people and get a sense of the key reactions and hot issues that have emerged.A Vibrant Q & A – Introverts, who are often not keen about raising their hand in a live session, ask questions early and tend to do so more virtually than in person.  And the responses come from others in the chat as well as from the instructor. We don’t have to wait until the end when the question might not be as relevant. What I often do in sessions where we have some time, is to ask people to unmute and ask their question aloud. Because we have had a chance to build a safe environment, they are usually willing to do that. Hearing people’s voices is yet another way to build connection.Focused Conversations – We were conducting conversations and panels pre-Covid. And when we all switched to a virtual work world, we soon realized that Zoom, Teams, and other platforms were very effective in communicating outside of the office. When promoting last June’s release of Creating Introvert-Friendly Workplaces, our company designed “Fireside Chats” for initial interviews with organizations’ leaders. Introverts prefer preparation time so we sent potential questions ahead of these sessions which helped them feel confident and ready to go. We have had vibrant back and forth conversations about their challenges, successes, and how they and their companies harnessed introvert talent. Breakout Rooms – Introverts prefer smaller group discussions and tend to self-disclose more when given the opportunity to go deeper with people.  I attended an all-day retreat this year where excellent use was made of the breakout rooms.  Everyone was heard and their ideas were brought back to the large group. Introverts also received visibility and connected with people globally in many of the sessions. A successful book club with Synchrony’s IT organization last December spotlighted several of the team’s leaders in these smaller, more intimate settings.Recordings – I have shared recordings and transcripts with my introverted clients and program participants. They love the chance to review the material and do the deep thinking that is natural for them. In fact, I know many coaches who do the same. This gives everyone the chance to reflect and respond to ideas they may have missed in the actual meeting. I often refer to these recordings to pull out key ideas to share afterwards in videos and blog posts.

I welcome the day when in-person connections truly come back, and despite popular misunderstanding, most of my introverted clients do as well. But in the meantime, we have learned a lot about how we can leverage these miraculous virtual technology tools to bring out everyone’s best, including the 40-60% of introverts in our organizations.

 

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Last year I decided that I wanted to go deeper with some of the terrific introverted leaders I have encountered in my work. I started an interview series called “Introverted Leaders Around the World.” And I am so glad I did!

These leaders are consultants, executives, and entrepreneurs. They identify as introverts, but sometimes aren’t sure about where they fall on a given day. Most are also introvert advocates. In these short talks we connected on many levels, despite our different personality styles, nationalities, gender, and sometimes age.

What were some of their key lessons?

We discussed three of these introverted leader interviews in a past blog post. Here are some snapshots of lessons I gleaned from five additional interviews.

I hope you will check out all of the Introverted Leaders Around the World series on my YouTube channel.

 

Iain Wilke – Great Britain

Iain Wilke is a Quiet Leadership Coach in Great Britain and a former Partner with EY. He is a model of introverted leadership. In this interview, Iain shares some of the challenges and triumphs he has faced as both an introvert and a stutterer. He believes that you will succeed if you treat people well and that great clients and great service all spring from this approach.

Iain was encouraged to push beyond his limitations and had the support of key mentors. He also worked hard and once recorded a voice mail to a client 13 times to make sure he got it right!  Iain advises people to be “proud introverts” and suggests introverts ask extroverts to bring them into the meeting early. He demonstrates how preparation, one on one conversations, and practice make such a difference for introverts.

Iain is committed to raising the profile of stuttering and founded the charity “50 Million Voices.” Together with leaders from 15 countries, their goal is to transform the workplace for people who stutter.

Iain can be reached at his website.

 

Rene Godefroy – Haiti

Rene Godefroy was able to take himself from desperation and misery in a tiny village in Haiti to success as an entrepreneur, award-winning author, and a keynote speaker sharing stages with global leaders. Rene shared how he loves reading and applies the concepts he learns by discussing his ideas with others. He also is an engaged listener who has learned the power of asking questions. Rene believes that no condition is permanent, and his quiet demeanor has served him very well.

Contact him on Facebook or at his website. His book is called Kiss Your Excuses Goodbye: No Condition is Permanent. These days you can also find him on Clubhouse, where he is a moderator and speaker in many rooms.

 

Frank Hagenow – Italy (originally from Germany) 

It was also a pleasure to engage in dialogue with my colleague, Dr. Frank Hagenow of Venice, Italy who relocated there from Germany. Dr. Hagenow is a psychologist, business coach, and keynote speaker who helps leaders focus on decency and respect and avoid mind games. Frank considers himself more introverted than extroverted and his early jobs as a driving school instructor (including some close calls!) taught him to adjust from one moment to another and to learn to work with different people who have varying needs and levels of education. Frank works with senior leaders who are doing quite a bit of self-reflection about the next phase of their lives. He says it helps them to listen to the “silent voices” within themselves, their introverted sides, to really understand what they want next. Frank’s newest book (translated to English) is Leadership Without Mind Games: How to Win People with Ethics and Decency. 

 

Faris Khalifeh – Canada (originally from Dubai)

Introvert coach, Faris Khalifeh discussed his experience as an introvert growing up in Dubai and how he sees Vancouver, Canada as a city that embraces introverts. He believes there is still great bias against introverts and that introverts can protect their quiet time. He believes the MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) is not about putting a label on you, but can create better understanding. “Self-knowledge is the basis of self-empowerment,” says Faris. The challenges for introverts include extroverts taking over in meetings, being put on the spot, and feeling marginalized because their traits are misunderstood.

Faris suggests introverts not have back-to-back meetings, take many breaks through the day, and take time alone. He says meditation was a game changer for him.

Faris can be reached at his website.

 

Jill Chang – Taiwan

Jill Chang, author and businesswoman, has fifteen years of international experience in diverse industries including sports, state government, and nonprofits. She currently oversees a team spread across twenty-three countries.

She started out in professional baseball in the US and was spending so much energy daily having to be in such a people-intensive extroverted environment. She realized that she had to be herself and know her limitations in order to be successful.

Every day when she steps outside her door, she is out of her comfort zone, but knows she must step out there. In general, eastern Asia countries are more introverted, but Taiwanese culture is western. With globalization, they learn western studies and western best practices. She loves remote work because she has total control over her energy. She suggests finding a balance between your physical and virtual presence. Jill believes carefully designing your day is critical for remote workers.

Her book is Quiet is a Superpower: The Secret Strengths of Introverts in the Workplace.

The post Key Lessons from Introverted Leaders Around the World – Part 2 appeared first on Jennifer Kahnweiler.

Recently I learned that my favorite boss, Sue Recko, passed away. Her passing caused me to reflect on my transformative experience with her over 20 years ago. In a bittersweet vein, one of the legacies Sue left behind was the four members of the team she led. We remain friends and still meet regularly for lunch all these years later. Sue was a great leader in every sense of the word. 

How We Connected

I felt there was a gap in my career path. I had already worked in consulting, higher education and government but it was time to see what it was like to actually be an employee in corporate America  –  to view a corporate culture from the inside.

I decided to apply for a training job in what, at the time, was one of the preeminent Fortune 50 companies to work for: General Electric. As a former Director of Career Development and Placement, I was familiar with GE’s culture. I had even made it up to their well-known Crotonville, N.Y. learning center. While there, I witnessed Jack Welch, the CEO swoop in on his helicopter and evangelize about leadership. My husband, Bill had also worked at GE at the jet engine plant in Ohio. Though we weren’t true GE lifers, we had a deep respect and even a bit of awe for a culture that was leading-edge, valued leadership development, and was results-driven.

The opportunity emerged at the GE Capital division in Information Technology in Atlanta. They were ramping up their learning and development team. If there was an opportunity to stretch and learn, this was it. The right company at the right time. And, as it turned out, the right boss.

I interviewed with Sue at a local restaurant and an offer came pretty quickly. Following my own career coaching advice about negotiation, I responded to her offer with a few “asks” of my own – some remote work, a 6-month review, and a few benefit adjustments.

Later, Sue shared that she had been afraid I would say no, though she came across with bravado and perfectly placed pauses in our negotiation. This was my first glimpse into learning that the tough veneer had some internal doubts.

Raised My Game 

The job involved a big change including travel and long hours, but I was ready for it. I taught my 6 and 8-year-old daughters to do their own laundry and Bill became the chief cook (my family was very thankful!). I dove into the role and Sue trusted me from day one. She gave me the reins and creative control to develop and deliver week-long leadership and change management courses.

I knew I had the required competencies, but would waver about my ability to deliver the product. Sue served as a coach and even co-taught our pilots where we learned from each other and made needed changes. Gradually I became more confident as her tough and positive feedback helped me raise my game and my confidence.

Shifting Our Direction

About a year into the job, we were hearing rumors of a major shift in the business. Six Sigma, a  new quality control approach to business, was taking hold.

We didn’t use the word “pivot” much back then, but that is exactly what Sue did when she felt the winds changing. Because of the relationships she had built with the company’s influencers, Sue persuaded them that our team could ramp up and become THE experts in delivering Black Belt training. She hired the top consultants in the subject to put us through the paces and prepare us. It was a virtual boot camp.

Our team grew tight as we poured over process maps and job aids. I reached out to my colleagues to tutor me in some of the quantitative material and I supported them with soft skills content.

We hit the road, and after several weeks were being called on by other business units to deliver their required training. Without Sue’s advocacy, there is no doubt that our jobs would have disappeared. She saved us by knowing where to focus.

 

“No Feelings Today Jenn”

Sue wasn’t the warm fuzzy kind of manager. She was a Myers-Briggs fan like me, and some days she would turn to me and say, “Jenn, I am totally in my Thinker’s head today so please, no empathy or feelings needed!” I was taken aback at first, being the Feeler that I am. But I quickly learned that she meant it. I stuck to the logical sequence of facts, giving her well-prepared, crisp updates with little fluff. Sue taught me a valuable lesson about working with people and being upfront about what you need. I also learned to flex my style to hers, a valuable lesson when managing up or working with people who have different styles than mine.

Vulnerability

Sue often asked us about how she could improve as a manager. We became comfortable telling her because she took the feedback well and adjusted her approach accordingly. For instance, after one 360 feedback review, she shared that several people had commented that should show a little more personal interest in people.

Early one Monday morning, she stopped by my cubicle. In a halting voice, obviously uncomfortable she said, “Jenn, —–how —-was your weekend?” I smiled…she was trying.

One time, I saw her give a high-stakes presentation to senior leadership. She was kickass; strong, commanding, and confident. Afterward, I told her just that. Her response surprised me. In a little girl’s voice, she answered, “Do you really think so, Jenn, really?” It was strangely comforting to know she was human!

Laughter

I used to laugh that I had to chase Sue down the hall to catch her. She was a fast mover and talker. In the morning she would look down at my shoes before making eye contact. She adored making fun of my footwear. In my defense, they were comfortable, low-heeled “trainer” shoes, but she called them “clodhoppers.” And compared to her signature statement stilettos, they actually were pretty nerdy. We both got a literal kick out of these differences in our styles.

Saying Good-Bye

Working for Sue was exhausting and exhilarating as hell! The GE business ended up closing and we all dispersed. Sue left for New Mexico to head up to a hospital leadership role in Organizational Development. The rest of us landed in different organizations.

I left that job in corporate America with so much more than I had hoped to receive. Sue forced me to dig into many of my doubts and move them aside. There was no time to overthink what I believed I could or couldn’t do. She pushed me so far out of my comfort zone that I almost forgot what it was.

Next month, the original GE team will meet to toast Sue with a glass of Chardonnay – her favorite. I will never forget her and the difference she made in my life.  RIP my friend, no warm fuzzies included.

The post The Eulogy I Would Have Given appeared first on Jennifer Kahnweiler.

Remote work has moved from an experiment to the norm for millions of office workers around the world. Are the assumptions correct about introverts finding their true bliss at home? What are introverts loving and what are they challenged by? Do they thrive in quiet and solitude or are they feeling disconnected and lonely?

We set out to learn more. Our company conducted a survey to discover how introverts have been responding to working from home full time. Within 5 days we had almost 200 responses!  I wanted to share a summary of our discoveries for leaders and teams as they plan for a new post-Covid introvert-friendly workplace. You can download the full free report here. 

 

What is Working 

In reviewing the results, you will see that those introverts who responded are overwhelmingly positive about remote work.

Not commuting was hands down the #1 reason for those positive responses. Over 90% of respondents listed this as a benefit. Other reasons they were giving remote work a high grade:

Flexible Schedule (64%)Lack of Interruptions (57%”)Focus (45%),Autonomy (47%)

Here are a few comments expressing what people find positive about remote work:

I have less stress in every area of my life, and better personal and professional balance.

I like not having to put on my ‘workday face’ every day…preparing myself mentally for the random social interactions and general social noise which are particularly prevalent in an open office.

I don’t have to worry about having a closed-door during moments of recovery from overstimulation.

 

What isn’t Working So Well 

Despite their high satisfaction with remote work, there are still many challenges that we should consider moving forward. Over 56% of respondents listed “virtual meeting fatigue” as a problem. In addition, stress and disconnection from people are hard for introverts working remotely. Here are a few sample comments expressing their frustrations as introverts.

Extroverts want everyone to turn on their videos!

I’m much more drained at the end of the workday from communicating either by mobile phone or in virtual meetings.

I miss socializing, which is the glue of relationships and the opportunities to listen to employees for hidden topics.

I miss spontaneous interactions. There are more scheduled interactions, and I am less able to ask a question in passing.

Next Steps to Take 

Based on this research we offer 5 key strategies for leaders to unleash the best of introvert talent in a remote world. They are: Ask introverts what they think, nurture productivity, address stress, manage virtual meetings, and intentionally build connection. These are all described in this free report. Check it out and share it with your organization.

We also welcome your ideas about tactics to make your workplace introvert-friendly in this new world.

The post Introverts Offer Input on Remote Work’s Next Phase appeared first on Jennifer Kahnweiler.

I am very pleased that my friend and colleague, Kevin Eikenberry offered to write a guest blog post this week. Kevin is the co-author with Wayne Turmel of the terrific and timely new book, The Long Distance Teammate . The two have collaborated before on another one of my favorites, The Long Distance Leader .

Many introverts struggle with networking. They know it is essential for career success but are loathe to jump in for so many reasons. This piece illustrates some ways in which we all – introverts and extroverts – can achieve visibility and learn and grow in the process.

Many things change when we begin working from home. One of the questions I get asked is, “When I don’t run into people in the office or at events, how am I supposed to network?” This question is even more relevant in a world of viruses and lockdowns. Whether you like networking or not, if you want to advance your career and reach your goals, you must meet, interact, and be known by others. The question is how do we do that now?

The short answer is ethical visibility. Let’s talk about what that means and how to do it both inside your organization and externally.

What is Ethical Visibility?

Ethical visibility is making sure people understand your role and experience, but only in the context of team goals and team success. It is all about the team and team success. It is supportive and positive, and it must be appropriate based on your team’s culture. This is a balancing act that is even harder to achieve when you are working at a distance from others.

Exhibiting Ethical Visibility With Your Boss

While you are working at home alone, remember that your boss has a whole team to be thinking about – he or she isn’t spending all their time thinking about you. There is nothing wrong with that, but it does mean you need to be more proactive about how you remain top of mind when the organization might need someone in a new role. Here are a few ways you can do this effectively:

Participate in meetings.  I mean really engage and participate in ways that move the agenda forward. Offer to share what you know with others.  Done with the right intention and focus, this can be helpful to your boss and the whole team. Volunteer for projects and assignments.  This is not only helpful to the team and raises your visibility, but is a form of professional development too.Own your development. Don’t just wait for the boos to suggest a course or learning opportunity, be proactive in finding ways to build your skills and knowledge. Which leads to the next set of ideas…External Networking

One of the problems with traditional networking (and one of the reasons so many people don’t like it) is that it feels very “me” focused. If you have ever been to a networking event, you know how many people try to dominate conversations, pump up themselves, and treat it like a game of “whoever gives out the most business cars wins.” Visibility maybe, but ethical? Not quite so much.

While we aren’t going to events, we can still connect with others and build our network. You can still do that by reaching out to people you admire, use LinkedIn more and differently, and make more introductions. While there are many ways to make all of these ideas work, here are a couple of things to keep in mind.

Go first, but focus on others. If there is someone you would like to meet, be connected to or have a conversation with, don’t be afraid to seek them out. But do it in a way that is helpful to them. If you reach out (via LinkedIn, email, or however) talk about why you value them and give them some specific positive feedback, rather than focusing on yourself.Think about relationships not results. Don’t reach out and ask for something – reach out and offer to help and see how you can serve them. This is the opposite of what most people do and will immediately set you apart from the crowd.Reach out to experts. If you read a book that you liked, took an online course, watched a YouTube video, or read a blog post, reach out to the author to say thank you and tell them why you found their content so valuable. When people do that with me, I am typically very receptive to having a conversation or seeing how else I can help them. It has never been easier to do this than now.

Networking needs to be different than it used to be – but it can still happen when you think differently too.  Applying these ideas will get you great results, and might even leave you enjoying networking.

 

About the author

Kevin Eikenberry is a recognized world expert on leadership development and leader of The Kevin Eikenberry Group. He has twice been named by Inc.com as one of the top 100 Leadership/Management Experts in the World. He is the author, co-author or a contributing author to 20 books, including the latest collaboration with Wayne Turmel, The Long-Distance Teammate: Stay Engaged and Connected While Working Anywhere.

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