J. Matthew Nespoli's Blog

I listened to one of my female friends tell another female friend that she wasn’t a feminist because she wanted for her husband to make more money so that she could afford to quit her job and stay home and raise her children.

We need to get a few things straight in this cockamamie world. Therefore, this middle-aged white guy is going to properly define feminism for everyone.

Feminism means that women should have equal rights as men,and they should have the right to pursue their own personal version of happiness, whatever that might be. If you want to be Sally Homemaker, then go for it. If you believe that strapping on a pants suit and running for President will bring you happiness, then go for that. Do you. You don’t have to live up to anyone else’s ideal of who you should be. A feminist has just about as much right telling another woman that she isn’t a feminist as a straight person has the right to tell a gay person they are allowed to get married. None. If you believe women deserve equal rights to men, then you are a feminist, regardless of how you choose to spend your days here on earth. And please don’t tell me that I’m not allowed to have an opinion on feminism because I’m a man. I am a man. And I am a feminist.

On another topic, I posted something earlier in the day about my distaste for the term white privilege. A couple people asked me what my issue with it was, so here it goes-

I find new liberal buzzwords, like this one, to be no better than the buzzwords Republicans have been throwing out on Fox news for a decade in order to get white conservatives all up in a tizzy and into the voting booths. These buzz words are divisive and used to shut down meaningful debate.

There are many new liberal buzzwords that I have disdain for, however let’s keep this post about white priviledge. This term is a passive aggressive attempt at taking credit away from any white man who has made success for himself. When 5 foot 6 Spud Webb worked his midget ass off to make the NBA and later win the dunk contest, I’m pretty sure he didn’t want to hear that his being black had something to do with it. Likewise, no middle class white guy wants to hear that his being white helped him to be a success in business, even if there is an element of truth in both statements. We all understand that being white has some advantages. However, try telling that to some poor, white trash, family in Nebraska that is struggling to feed their family. If you tell them they are privileged for their whiteness it is going to do nothing but cause resentment. Likewise, a black kid doesn’t need to hear that he got into Harvard because he’s black, even though his being black may very well have helped. There are advantages to being white and male in this country. We get it. However, using phrases like white priviledge do nothing to help the cause of minorities, and plenty to create more divisiveness between the races.

I really truly don’t understand why it is so difficult for people, of all races and sexes, to view all the other people as just people. Nothing more nothing less. Just people. Pretty basic stuff.

http://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Versus-Monster-Matthew-Nespoli/dp/1489533974/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1437168295&sr=8-1&keywords=daddy+versus

I love the house wives of Manhattan Beach. They need their own reality show.

She was probably 40 but looked like a 28 year-old who’d done some real hard living. She weighed approximately eight pounds, had an impossibly tiny Jessica Rabbit waist, and bleach blonde hair that was nearly white, like Elsa The Snow Queen. Her eye lashes were as long as fingers and they were curled upward in a “come here” fashion and her fingernails were like that of a cougar on the hunt. She had two ridiculously unreasonable reality challenged breast-like masses that hung off her tiny, weak frame like over-ripened tomatoes on an inadequate vine; they pulled the skin taught at the base of her neck and the stretch marks on her upper chest and neck were faintly visible beneath the heavily painted foundation that covered everything from the breast bone up to her forehead. Her face was olive colored and gave the illusion of being beautiful and flawless but frozen forever in one unreadable expression, like the Mona Lisa… if the Mona Lisa were a bleached blonde bulimic with a tanning bed addiction. She wore a tube top that left little to the imagination and allowed for her pert nipples to press through the material so that their reddish color was clearly discernible. Her yoga pants ended just below the spot where the good Lord split her, and a friendly pink thong began where the pants ended, peeking out as if to say, “Cheerio gentlemen.” She wore a matching pink True Religion baseball cap and pink high-heeled sneakers (yes, apparently high heeled sneakers are a thing now). She looked like she’d just finished yoga class, but, if we’re being honest, she probably just finished fucking the high priced personal trainer that her defense attorney husband pays to keep her company while he’s away in Thailand messing with girls that are his daughter’s age. The diamond on her finger was the size of a marble but not quite as large as the diamond on the pendant around her neck which would’ve drawn more attention to her cleavage, if that were even possible. Her perfume smelled like musty rose water with a hint of desperation, and the tattoo in the small of her back said “Coexist.” She stepped to the counter and ordered a large coffee and two donuts, which surely would end up in the toilet, or the sink of her vanity, or the floor of her driveway ten minutes after she finished eating them.

The waitress handed her a coffee. She pressed it to her bee stung lips and blew ever so gently to cool her steamy drink.

Everyone was staring, but trying to appear as if they weren’t. Because you can’t stare. How dare you look and be curious, or attracted to, befuddled by, or confused by this woman. She was just expressing herself… or some bull-shit like that. And don’t you dare objectify her. Or make her feel like she has been objectified. If you do, she will turn around and attempt to give you a nasty glare (if her face were capable of glaring), like she tried to do to the hefty man sitting at the table behind her. His eye line was perfectly in sync, and zeroed in on, her meaningless “Co-Exist” tattoo.

And she busted him.

If her eyes had a voice, and that voice could be heard above the loudness of her bright green colored contacts, I believe they wanted to say, “How dare you sir! I am not a piece of meat that lives for the purpose of titillating you.”

However, her eyes couldn’t speak and her face couldn’t frown, so instead she gave a lady-like snort and turned her back on him.

You can’t look at her, sir. That’s wrong.

Unless you have money like Steve Ballmer.

Or a chin like George Clooney.

Or power like Barack Obama.

Nevermind, she probably doesn’t let black guys look at her, regardless of their power or money.

This woman-child is not a piece of meat (despite all the meat she is showing). She is a person who is capable of complex thoughts, ideas and emotions, and she should not be objectified just because she has Botox in her face, saline in her ass and tits, and chemicals in her hair.

Don’t stare. Don’t victimize her like that.

“Daddy, what is her costume supposed to be?” Keller asked.

“It’s a monster costume. She’s a man-eater.”

Walking with the family in Seal Beach, enjoying a lovely So-Cal evening by the beach.
Keller, getting a piggy back ride, shows me a stick he’d picked up. He says, “Daddy, I got a magic stick. “
“Me to pal,” I respond.
“No you don’t. I don’t see it,” he repolied.
“It’s in my pants, buddy.”
“No it’s not.”
“Ask your mother if I have a magic sick in my pants.”
“Mommy, does Daddy have a magic stick in his pants?”
“Yes, he cast a spell on me and made you and KaiRae with his magic stick.”

Thank you for playing along, my love. I’m sorry my immaturity has ruined you. You used to be so proper.

If you like this sort of humor, please buy my book: 

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In Guantanamo, the US government is holding prisoners that the US government paid poor Afghani citizens to turn in, often times based on nothing but their need to feed their families. Sometimes these prisoners were in Al Qaeda, more often they are just random Arabs.

The US government is dropping bombs, from drones, on innocent people on a regular basis. We blew up an entire wedding party, many children died. They do this sort of thing on the regular.

In 2003 I wrote a blog on my old website “NakedWordSurfer” entitled, “War on terror creates more terrorists than it kills.” I compared this ineffective war to the ineffective drug war. I took a lot of heat for this, and give that it was still pretty fresh after 9/11, many people took to calling me “Unpatriotic” for suggesting that the US corporate government might be somewhat responsible for driving terrorists to want to blow us up.

However, my statement was true then and it’s become even more of a legit statement in today’s world. When you drop a bomb on a wedding party and kill 200 civilians, young men who’ve lost mothers and fathers tend to get pissed. Sometimes, they may become terrorists. Or, in their eyes, the Americans who blew up their parents were terrorists, and they are fighting for justice.

Now-a-days, with improved technology: data-mining, GPS, etc, the US corporate government is targeting cellular phones of suspected terrorists. Then, we drop a drone missile on the location of the phone. Is the owner of that phone a terrorist? Maybe, maybe not; they’re a suspect. Is the suspected terrorist holding the phone when it gets blown up, or is the phone at home with their family? Nobody really knows. Maybe the guy is at a coffee shop with dozens of other coffee drinkers. Maybe he’s at a small mosque. Does the US government feel bad about blowing up these women and children or whoever is surrounding the phone at the time of the bombing? No. This is called “collateral damage.”

I wrote a Facebook blog last week that 400,000 people a year are dying from cigarettes, and that there’s no war on cigarettes. The point is not that there should be a war on cigarettes. The point is that there should not be a war on terror. First of all, you can’t win a war on terror. A war on terror only creates more terror.  Secondly, the tactics our government is using against the “terrorists” (torture, drone strikes, firebombing), not to mention the spy tactics they are using on American citizens fits the very definition of terrorism, legitimately terroristic activities.  Lastly, the reasons the US corporate government uses for taking our boys and girls to war are almost always a bunch of shit. They terrify citizens with some bull-shit lies, tell them that they need to protect them, and then they take away their liberties to do so while killing people overseas. If the US corporate governments true goal was to bring peace and prosperity to the world, then why do we go to war with Iraq and Afghanistan instead of North Korea. Shouldn’t that be the first place we go into for the purpose of saving poor civilians? They have a crazy dictator who is killing people left and right, sometimes for something as small as not clapping hard enough and long enough when he’s introduced at an event. He had people killed, after his father died, for not crying hard enough. Shouldn’t this have been our first target for bringing democracy to the world?

North Korea isn’t a place the US government chose to invade because there are no resources there for US companies. At the risk of being called “unpatriotic” I’d venture to say that the US government isn’t interested in bringing democracy to the world. They are interested in pleasing their corporate pay daddies by going to war in places where their pimps can make more money. You blow my corporate cock and I’ll fund your next sleazy campaign. The same people fund both sides of an election. It’s like two whores competing for work the same corner while under the thumb of the same pimp. That’s how Washington works. The US Corporate government has waged more terrorism than anyone in the world in the past decade. How’s that reality taste?

Go ahead, call me a name, you know damn well that I really don’t give a fuck. The truth is all I care about. I just tell the truth. You can’t tell me that nearly a million dead Iraqis is more tragic than 3,000 deaths in New York. You can’t tell me that there were a million Iraqi terrorists… Unless you’re a liar. Unless you’re the US corporate government.

Part of the problem with the discussion about these wars is that a person like me is labeled as being “Unpatriotic” for speaking out against unethical things that his countries government is doing. The truth is, I love my country and that’s why I speak out. The same goes for the hundreds of brave men and women who are overseas, putting themselves in danger, to bring you real journalism and real truth. Of course, you won’t see any of those brave people on network TV. Network TV has bought into the system. Two pretends sides of the same team. Deception and illusion is perhaps the corporate government’s greatest weapon. They keep their populace distracted by turning them against one another so as to prevent them from turning on them. Then, they dope them up with anti-depressants and opiates while making sure to keep things like marijuana and mushrooms and ibogaine illegal. They wouldn’t want to allow anything that kick starts enlightenment, now would they?

When we speak about the horrific things that the US corporate government does, we need to speak about them in the third person. We should not say “we are bombing Iraq.” We are not bombing Iraq. I’m not doing it and I don’t condone it. Do you? Are you dropping a bomb from a drone that’s killing dozens of kids at a wedding party? I certainly am not. I love America. I love its people. I love what it’s done for me. However, the government doesn’t represent me. My “representatives” don’t represent me. They don’t represent you. They don’t represent any middle class liberals or middle class conservatives. They represent the greediest amongst us. They represent the .01%. They represent them and make laws to tilt the game in the favor of the .01%. How else can you explain the fact that the richest 85 people in the world have as much money as the bottom 40%. 85 people have more money than nearly 3,000,000,000 people. that doesn’t happen by accident. That doesn’t happen just from hard work. That happens when mother fuckers become gangsters with no conscience and kill whomever they need to in order to pile up the money. Make it rain bitches!

The whores in Washington represent the people who are enslaving children in factories in India and China to make us affordable iPhones and clothes that we can purchase on the cheap at Wal-Mart. Next time you buy an iPhone or shop at Wal-Mart, just keep that in mind. You might be part of the problem. Maybe we should all consider sacrificing and not purchasing products, just because they’re cheaper, if that cheap price is the result of companies who are enslaving children or funding the campaigns of senators and Presidents who want to blow shit up to help that companies bottom line. I love to point the finger at these people because I know these people are to blame. However, I too, as a citizen, feel I share in the blame when I buy something that’s been made by one of these companies.

Republicans love to say “vote with your dollars.” That is some great advice. Let’s start doing that.

So, let’s start speaking with a new language in regards to the whores in Washington. When they make decisions that the majority of the populace disagrees with, we cannot say things like “We are torturing innocent people and holding them without a trial for years at a time.” We aren’t doing that shit. The whores are. If we learn to use this new language, then we don’t need to feel guilty about speaking out. We don’t need to feel guilty about saying things like “The US corporate government have become the terrorists.” Because, the fact is that we, you and I, we have become daily victims of this terrorism. Not on the same level as poor citizens of Afghanistan who are getting blown to bits at weddings, but we are victims every time we read our email or talk on the phone. We are victims every time we go to the airport and have to be felt up by some power hungry thug who thinks he’s important.

The millionaire whores of US government are not the United States, nor are the 01% that funds them. You and I are the United States. And we don’t stand for killing innocent women and men and babies and children, and we don’t stand for imprisoning people on suspicion with no proof, and we don’t stand for holding them for a decade without a trial, and we don’t stand for idiots that weren’t elected into office listening to our phone calls and looking at us through our laptop cameras.

Let’s stop pretending that it’s liberals versus conservatibes because it’s not. Let’s stop pretending that it’s my guy against yours. Because it’s not. Who you vote for doesn’t matter because they’re all playing on the same team. Republican or Democrat, unless you are talking about social issues that have little effect on the grand scheme of the economy, then it doesn’t really matter. They’re both playing for the same team. They’re both puppets with the same puppet master.

Now you’ll have to excuse me as I watch some pornography. Dear NSA, I hope you enjoy watching me make love to myself through my laptop camera. Am I turning you on NSA? Am I? Are you getting hot and bothered? Are you? Do you like watching people masturbate?

Go fuck yourself, NSA. Go fuck your terror loving government funded by the .01%. Take that drone and stick it up your bootie.

Nearly every time we have a controversial social issue like the current one regarding Mike Sam, most of the country takes a hard-line, all-or-nothing stance on either the left or the right. People tend to make things very black and white when, in reality, the truth is most often found in the gray areas.

First, let’s start with the right. Their stance against gay rights is so archaic, ignorant, and offensive that it isn’t really even worth dignifying with a rebuttal. So, I won’t.

Let’s just move straight to the dishonesty of the left because this is where all the “progressive people” begin to get very preachy, and often times they’re dishonest with the truth.

But before we get to that, let’s first acknowledge Mike Sam. What he did, coming out of the closet in the manliest of sports before ever playing a down in the NFL was extremely brave. That’s undeniable. He likely cost himself a higher position in the draft which, consequently, will cost him millions of dollars. Michael will serve as an inspiration and role model to millions of gay teens who are struggling with their sexual identity and scared about coming out of the closet.

Please, gay teens, come out. Those who love you will still love you. Society is starting to get it.

Now, let’s get back to talking about the dishonest liberals.

Typically, liberals take the progressive side of a social debate because they are largely a compassionate group who wants to see the world become more inclusive. That said, in desiring this kind of progress they often go overboard with their positions to the point of becoming dishonest. In regards to the Mike Sam revelation, there are four prevailing dishonesties coming from liberals, and I’d like to discuss them.

Liberal dishonesty number one— There have been some NFL football players and fans that have suggested than an openly gay man showering with NFL teammates will create an uncomfortable dynamic with some of the straight players. Most liberals dismiss this as being ignorant and homophobic. However, this is dishonest. Let’s talk about it.

I’m a straight man. Most of my male friends are straight, but I have a handful of very close gay friends. One thing we all have in common, gay or straight, is that we are men and we are extremely sexual beings. It’s in a man’s nature to want to spread his seed; not because men are perverts, but because this innate desire is necessary in order for humanities evolution to continue to push forward. If men one day magically lost their desire to spread their seed (as is beginning to happen in Japan), the evolution of man would cease and we’d quickly become extinct.

“What is the point and how does this relate to Mike Sam?”

The point is that if you take me, or any of my straight male friends, and put us in a shower with a bunch of women, we’re going to check out every single one of them (as discreetly as possible) making a mental note of who we’d like to have sex with (all of them).

Now, the only difference between my straight friends and my gay friends are that my gay friends prefer naked men. Also my gay friends are spending much of their social life surrounded by other horny men who also happen to be gay. These guys, unlike straight guys, don’t have to deal with the inconvenience of trying to seduce humans of the opposite sex, humans whose nature is to nest. Virile gay men with high sex drives have the convenient lifestyle of picking their mates from a pool of people who also have high sex drives and have an equal primitive need to spread their seed. In other words, it’s really easy for gay guys to get laid.

Honestly, if there was some magical lever one could switch to turn on the gay inside him, I’d give it some serious consideration. I’m not meaning to downplay the struggles that gay men go through, nor the persecution. I have gay family members and friends, and I’m well aware. However, I also recognize the benefits. That said, I was born straight, and there’s no possible way I could turn myself gay, much in the same way that most gay guys were born gay, and can’t make themselves straight. Now, please take note that I didn’t say all gay guys were born that way. Because that isn’t the case, but we’ll tackle that fallacy later.

Anyway, what does this mean when it comes to one gay guy showering with a bunch of straight guys in an NFL locker-room? Well, what it means is that unless Mike Sam is unlike every other man I’ve ever met, his natural instinct will be to look at the other guy in the locker-room and determine if he is sexually attracted to them or not. Now, given that Mike’s going to have a microscope on him like no other player in history, I’m guessing he’ll do his best to bury that instinct. Also, he’s going to be showering with these guys daily, for months and months and after showering with someone a couple dozen times, no matter how attractive they are, the act of showering together kind of loses its sex appeal. I mean, I’ve been showering with my wife, off and on, for nearly a decade. In the beginning, it was raw and sexual. In fact, our first sexual experience together was in the shower. A month into our courtship, I went to her house to pick her up for dinner. Her sister told me she was still in the shower. I marched down the hallway, taking off my clothes as I walked, and went into the bathroom and made love, for the first time, to the woman who’d become my future wife. I’m pretty sure I scared my sister-in-law in the process, but that’s beside the point. The point is, that as hot as showering together had once been, now it’s an inconvenience. Our shower is small and I freeze my ass off 85% of the time because she hogs all the hot water while I stand in the corner holding her bottle of conditioner.

I suppose I’m getting off topic here. So, let me walk this thing back.

Is Mike Sam going to rape anyone in the shower? No.

Is he going to hit on one of his teammates? No.

Is he going to do anything inappropriate what-so-ever, sexually? No.

I would bet that Mike Sam will be on his best behavior more so than any other player in NFL history in the locker-room. He knows the world will be watching.

However, does that negate the fact that some players might be uncomfortable with knowing that a gay man is watching them shower? No, it doesn’t. Some straight men might be uncomfortable showering with a man who enjoys the naked male form in the same way they enjoy the naked female form?

I mean, if this wasn’t an issue then colleges and gyms and restaurants across America wouldn’t have men’s rooms and ladies’ rooms. They’d just have unisex locker rooms and bathrooms.

Look, we’re all individuals and we all have different degrees of comfort with our bodies. Personally, I’m 100% comfortable. I know I’m not the sexiest guy in the world, but I also know I’m not the ugliest. If someone gets a little joy watching me slang my beef around a locker-room shower, then good for them. In fact, if I was in the shower with Mike Sam, or another guy who I knew to be gay, and that person WASN’T checking me out, I’d probably be a little insulted. However, I realize I’m not everyone, and my degree of comfort with my body and my degree of comfort in the presence of gay men doesn’t equate to everyone being comfortable. And being uncomfortable with showering in front of a person who might possibly be sexually attracted to you isn’t wrong and doesn’t make you a homophobe.

Let’s be honest, if I walked into the locker-room of the USC women’s volleyball team, took off my clothes, and showered with them (God, please make this happen), I’m guessing a few of them would be uncomfortable as well. In fact, they’d probably call the cops and I’d likely be arrested. Let’s take it a step further and give the hypothetical scenario of me being on the USC women’s volleyball team. Let’s say that one of their girls got hurt, they had nobody on the bench, the opponents got to pick someone out of the crowd to be on the USC team and play against them, and they picked me because they knew I sucked and my penis gave me no discernible advantage against their behemoth girls. Even in this scenario, I’d still be required to shower in a separate locker-room simply because of the fact that I was attracted to women.

In those two scenarios, whether it’s Mike Sam in an NFL locker-room or me in the USC girl’s volleyball team locker-room, the feelings of the violation on behalf of the uncomfortable volleyball players and the uncomfortable NFL players aren’t any different and the situations shouldn’t necessarily be treated differently. Now, I don’t know if Mike Sam should be forced to use a separate shower or if the uncomfortable players should be forced to get over it. I don’t know the solution to this problem. But let’s not pretend that there isn’t one, okay?

Now, I know the counter argument for this whole showering business. It goes like this: “Have you ever taken a shower at your gym?

“Yes, I have.”

“Then you’ve been showering with gay guys.”

True. However, two key factors are left out in that point:

One- The gay guy in the shower isn’t out of the closet, or if he is, the other guys don’t know he’s gay, so those guys who might be uncomfortable with gay men in their shower won’t be in the know so they won’t be uncomfortable.

Two- If the gay guy in the shower is out of the closet and the other people in the locker-room are aware of it, and they are uncomfortable with it, then they have the option of not showering.

This will not be the case in the NFL. If a player is uncomfortable with showering with Mike Sam, and he decides not to shower, he will be lamb-basted by the media. And you know that’s true.

Liberal dishonesty number two— Homosexuals account for seven percent of the general population. At that rate, there are currently 112 gay players in the NFL. So, football players are already showering with gay guys all the time, they just aren’t out of the closet.

There are a couple things wrong with this argument. Number one, most likely, there are other gay players already in the NFL that haven’t come out, and those guys are showering with straight players every day. However, refer back to the previous point. If nobody knows, then nobody is uncomfortable and nobody feels violated.

Number two, assuming there are 112 gay players in the NFL because those numbers are consistent with the percentage of homosexuals in the general population is a faulty argument. I’d be willing to wager my life savings that the percentage of gay men in the NFL is lower than the percentages in the general population.

“Matthew, how can you possibly know this? You don’t know.”

You’re right, I don’t know, because I don’t know the sexuality of every NFL player. However, I can make a very educated guess on the subject. Without getting into the science of testosterone and athleticism and the correlation to the attraction to a violent sport, I’ll just summarize my educated guess with one point. I am willing to wager that there is a lower percentage of gay men in the NFL than in the general population for the same reason that I’m willing to wager that there are MORE gay men in figure skating than there are in the general population.

Case closed on point number two. If you aren’t getting it, then you’re not being honest with yourself, or you don’t know much about gay guys or sports.

Liberal dishonesty number three— Any general manager who doesn’t draft Mike Sam for the reason of his sexuality is a homophobe.

Not necessarily true.

I agree that Mike Sam deserves to be drafted based solely on his merit as an NFL football player. However, the reality of the situation is that his draft stock will likely drop, and it won’t necessarily be because the GMs are homophobes (though I’m sure some of them are). Some GM’s will avoid drafting him for the same reason that many GMs passed on Manti Te’o last year. Manti, as you remember, had a fake internet girlfriend. That controversy seemed to turn the world on its head. Many teams avoided drafting Te’o because they knew a media circus would follow him and he’d be a distraction to the team. Most analysts supported GMs for passing on Te’o for these exact reasons. Likewise, whether you like it or not, the unfortunate reality is that the media will create a circus around Mike Sam. If GMs choose not to draft him because they truly believe that this distraction will be bad for their team, then they are making a football decision that has nothing to do with personal homophobia. At the same time, let’s be honest and recognize that there are probably some homophobic GM’s in the NFL as well.

Moving on.

Liberal dishonesty number four— Mike Sam is the Jackie Robinson of gay people.

No he’s not. That’s a disservice to Jackie Robinson and to black people.

There are two things that separate black people from gay people in this instance. Number one, black people can’t hide the fact that they are black. They literally wear their color on their bodies. Gay men can choose to stay in the closet. If Jackie Robinson wanted to play baseball, but wanted to hide the fact that he was black, he couldn’t have. He had no choice. Mike Sam had a choice. Some will say that he made the only choice that he could, and though that may be true on some level, the fact is that he still made that choice.

Number two, and I know this will bring heat, but ALL black people are born black. Not ALL gays are born gay. Some are, sure. Probably most. However, not all, and I know that to be fact. I know that to be a fact because I have both an ex-lover who was a lesbian for thirty years before switching teams. Now, you might say that she was bisexual all along and didn’t know it. Fine. Maybe. I really can’t make that determination one way or the other. And neither can you. Only she can. However, I also have at least two friends that were once straight as kids, and after being sexually abused, they became gay. Sometimes, when a girl is raped by a man, she grows to fear men and turns to women to have her needs met. Likewise, often when a boy is raped by a man, he becomes confused about these feelings and will find himself attracted to the same sex later in his teens. Now, this obviously isn’t the norm, but it does happen, so let’s not pretend that it doesn’t. Also, I’m not saying that gay is a defect, so please don’t put words in my mouth. I’m saying that it is possible for one’s sexuality to change because of trauma. This is something that liberals love to pretend isn’t true. Are most gays born gay? Most likely. We all know that little boy who grew up on the block that everyone in the neighborhood knew was gay the first time they saw him run. Yes, most are born gay. Not all.

Lastly, I’d like to address one more dishonesty coming from liberals regarding this issue. Liberals almost always stand up for oppressed minorities, because, like I said before, they are largely a compassionate group of people that want the world to become a more inclusive and loving place. Those good intentions sometimes cause them to have a very hard time ever criticizing any minority group, even when warranted. Maybe this is part of white guilt or maybe this is because they don’t want to hurt their arguments by giving any ammo to the opposition. I don’t know. However, sometimes a minority group deserves some criticism.

Fact- Gay marriage was made illegal in California by popular vote.

Fact- Black people, in alarming numbers, came out and voted against gay rights, more-so than any other group.

This, to me, is a big problem. If anyone should be sensitive to the plight of one persecuted minority group it should be another persecuted minority group. People, of all races, colors, sexes and sexual preferences, deserve equality. I can see that and I’m a white male who’s never suffered any persecution as the result of being a part of any minority group. How is it that a persecuted minority group can’t see that all people deserve to be treated equally when that group had to fight for their own equal rights? How are we ever to advance if we can’t see the forest from the trees?

Liberals, don’t be afraid to call out your black friend who thinks that gays shouldn’t have the right to marry. These people are as big a problem, if not bigger, to the progression of equal rights for gays, than is your conservative, red-neck Uncle from Alabama.

Likewise, don’t be afraid to call out the racist homosexual (and there are plenty of them out there). Ditto on everything I just said.

I’m very proud of Mike Sam. He’s taken a courageous step that could be huge in the way that gay men are perceived by main stream America. Anytime a wall comes down and a bridge is built between people who are different from one another, it’s a good thing. I want all the walls to come down. I’m the father of two bi-racial kids. I think they’re both straight, but it’s honestly too early to tell. I’d prefer that they be straight because it will be easier, for me, a straight guy, to relate to them. However, if they turn out to be gay, I’ll embrace it, I’ll love them, I’ll embrace the lifestyle, and we’ll still best buddies. I want nothing more than for us to live in a world where all people are respected and treated as equals.

For that to happen, we need COMPLETE honestly whenever discussing any of these issues. It’s okay that we aren’t all the same. We need to be honest about our differences so that we can learn to celebrate them. Without honesty, we won’t have progress. 

This is utterly fascinating. Genetic re-engineering. It’s the future of man-kind. Evolution baby!

My sister-in-law is visiting us with her girlfriend whom she lives with in Northern California. They just informed us that they are in the process of having a genetically engineered baby. They decided to have a baby a few months ago so they picked a sperm donor and did insemination. It was unsuccessful; so, they moved on to stage II. The doctor extracted 24 eggs from her. 15 eggs survived, and they fertilized them all. Twelve of the fertilizations were successful. They put them in petri dishes and grew the embryos for two weeks. Now, they are doing genetic testing on the embryos. They will discard any with diseases (they can rule out 200 diseases). Then, from all the disease-free embryos, they can pick the genetics they desire: sex, hair color, eye color, height, intelligence, athletic ability and so on. The embryo they choose will be frozen until August when they are ready for the pregnancy. They’ll unfreeze it and implant it in the uterine wall. It will become a baby. The other embryos are donated to science to other people who want a baby but can’t afford the entire process (it is twenty thousand dollars).

This is the future. Babies like my sons, Keller and KaiRae, are going to be the last of their kind. Future babies, within twenty years, will all be designer babies like this. This is the next stage of evolution. Diseases will be irradicated from humanity this way. Parents will be able to pick exactly what they want in a baby, right down to personality, eye color, and what size shoe they will wear. The unfortunate part is that “naturals” like you and I and our children, likely won’t be able to compete with these super babies. I can foresee some kind of X-Men type of scenario when genetic science gets to the point where modifications can be made to the human embryo to give them special powers. “Normals” will become irrelevant and won’t be qualified for jobs in this new world.

Scientific American (great publication) recently published an article on the need for regulation to this fascinating new science. Whenever the word “regulation” is uttered, the conservatives have a minor stroke. However, most conservatives are also all about the “traditional family” and I’m guessing they will be 100% against all forms of genetic re-engineering and “test-tube” babies, in general, since, in the process, anywhere from 10-20 embryos can be discarded.

It will be interesting to see where the future takes us in this very controversial topic.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/regulate-designer-babies/

I’m all for this technological improvement to mankind. The ability to wipe out disease and improve humanity is fascinating to me. We could find genes associated with psychosis and genes associated with psychopaths and murderers and rapists. However, if I’m being completely honest, it does worry me about what will become of the last of the normal people, like my children, when they have to compete for jobs with these new super-hero babies. That said, I’m fairly confident, that by the time this science is perfected that the geniuses who invent this stuff will find a way to give us all genetic upgrades. I’ll make myself a 6’6” black guy with a giant cock who jump out of a gym. Playing for the Los Angeles Clippers and sleeping with groupies will be a much more exciting existence than my current one.

I saw this coming almost decade ago and blogged about “designer babies” on my old website “NakedWordSurfer”. It’s exciting that its now here.

Thoughts?

If you like this blog, consider buying my book, “Daddy Versus The Suck Monster” here:

tinyurl.com/p9593sp

Yesterday, after I got out of the shower, I was drying off in front of the mirror when I noticed that my testicles were dangling much lower than typical. I remembered learning in high school that man’s testicles must remain approximately one degree cooler than the rest of the body in order for his sperm to stay healthy. While reflecting on this information, I had a revelation:

There is no way my body was a product of intelligent design.

Either God didn’t design the human form, or he was drunk when he did it.

If I were the designer of mankind, I’d have found a better solution to the sperm temperature problem than putting testicles in a fleshy bag on the outside of the body, in an extremely vulnerable spot.

Think about it. If you were at LAX for a flight to New York and learned that a new plane had been invented and that your flight was going to be the very first domestic flight on it, you’d want to know more about the plane. Let’s say that this new plane was three times as fast, held three times as many passengers, and consumed three times less jet fuel than a 747. However, its engine was attached to the plane in a giant leather bag that hung from the plane’s underside. Would you get on it?

Probably not.

What if, when Steve Jobs invented the iPhone, he put the CPU in a tiny little beanie bag that hung from the base of the phone? Would the product have ever sold?

Probably not.

Not only would it be inconvenient but it would look really weird… just like testicles. They’re in an inconvenient place and they’re ridiculous looking. I don’t know how women keep from laughing every time they see a man naked. How man ever convinces a woman to put those hideous things in her mouth is just further proof that men are evil snake oil salesmen.

To top it all off, the testicles are the most sensitive part of a man’s body. When I’m watching the Clippers and I see Blake Griffin take a dirty shot to his balls from Serge Ibaka, I feel Blake’s pain. I curl up in the fetal position and whimper like a child who’s pet hamster just died. What intelligent and efficient designer would take the most vulnerable part of design and place it in a location where it is almost guaranteed to receive blows? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have put the testicles behind the ribcage, or, better, yet, under the skull? Women suggest that we think with our units anyway, wouldn’t that just make it all the more convienent.

I understand that the testicles are on the outside of the body because they need to stay cool, but isn’t there a better way to solve that issue? Couldn’t God have created some kind of chemical coolant, like the stuff that’s in those ice packs that get cold as soon as you pop them? I’m no genious, and I don’t like to think that I could outsmart God, but clearly this entire ballsack thing was a bad idea.

The only conclusions I can draw are that either God didn’t design the male form or that he was drunk when he did so. Either way, this means that humans are not the product of Intelligent Design.

Case closed.

If you like this sort of blog, then please buy my book: Daddy Versus the Suck Monster. tinyurl.com/p9593sp

Recently, a gay friend of mine, “Greg”, married his gay lover. It was a very gay wedding (in every sense of the word), and a total party.

Today, these two gaybies informed me that they intend to adopt a baby.

“Why would you do that?” I asked.

Greg was offended by my question. But I stand by it.

Being born a gay man is a gift if you ask me. If I could flip some kind of magical switch and turn myself gay, I’d be knee deep in dick right now. Gay men have more fun. They are always partying and they are always getting laid. I mean, nobody I know has more sex than Greg.

Why?

Not because he’s the best looking guy, he’s not. No offense to Greg, but he’s a 3 out of 10, at best.

And not because he’s the most charming guy I know, he’s not.

And not because he’s the funniest guy I know, because he’s not.

He’s not rich, he’s not tall, he’s not super smart, and he’s not artistic or athletic. He’s not any of the things that we typically associate with being attractive to potential lovers. Greg is average, in almost every sense of the word. The reason he’s having more sex than anyone I know is because Greg is fucking other dudes. And convincing a dude to fuck is easy.

If you’re a woman, and you don’t believe me, I want you try this experiment tonight. Go out to the local bar, or coffee shop, or church, or wherever; it really doesn’t matter where you go because guys are the same everywhere. Go out, find an unattached guy, and ask, “Hey, wanna fuck?”

If he says, “no” then I will personally drive to your house, do your laundry, give you a no-strings-attached hand-job, run you a bath, cook you dinner, and pay off your car note.

But this isn’t going to happen.

This isn’t going to happen because there’s not an unattached guy on the planet who’s going to say no to you.

You could stop showering for a week, wearing the same pair of sweatpants during that week, eat garlic sandwiches for a month, shave all your hair off, and amputate a few fingers, and you still wouldn’t find an unattached guy who’d say no. In fact, you could do all of the above, and approach a guy who has just finished having sex, and ask him if he wants to have sex, and he’s still going to say yes.

It’s that easy.

Women spend so much time trying to make themselves physically attractive because they’ve been fooled by commercials and corporate America to think that this is what men want. And sure, it’s nice that you put work into your appearance, we definitely enjoy it and appreciate it, but it isn’t necessary. We will have sex with you no matter what.

Now, when a man is born with whatever it is that causes him to prefer relations with members of his own sex, he’s been blessed with a tremendous gift. That man will never have to conquer the impossible task of figuring out how women think. And that man will never have to work to get laid. Men are horny all the time. We want to have sex every day, and most days we want to have sex multiple times. So, if you’re a guy who prefers guys, and you meet another guy who prefers guys, and neither one of you is in a committed relationship, then chances are you’ll be fucking before I put the period at the end of this sentence.

That said, some gay men choose to slow it down.

Why?

Most likely it’s not because they don’t want to fuck, but because they’re trying to be more “normal” (whatever that means). Gay men, like everyone else on the planet, want to be accepted by main stream society. So, just like everyone else, they try to conform to certain societal norms. Sometimes this means having less sex, but mostly it just means being more discreet about all the sex they’re having.

Now, I’m not the smartest Joe on the planet; I’d consider myself to be of normal intelligence. That said, I am smart enough to know that anytime you make a sweeping generalization, you’re going to be wrong about some people. I understand that and I accept that. So, let me be very clear—not every single gay man on the planet is getting a lot of sex or even desiring it.

Just most of them.

Especially Greg.

So, let’s take it back to the topic at hand—adopting children.

Should gaybies be allowed to adopt babies?

Absolutely. Sure. Of course. I can’t think of a single reason why they shouldn’t be able to, and that isn’t the question I’m posing. The question I need answered is, “Why would they want to?”

When two gay guys get together, there is zero chance of them accidentally getting pregnant. They are screwing for the sheer, raw pleasure of it. They’re just two animal beasts following their instinctive drive to spread their seed even though they have zero chance of actually spreading it.

On the other hand, when two straight people have casual sex, there is always that lingering concern of, “I hope we don’t make a baby.”

This concern always makes it a bit less casual.

Raising a baby person is hard work. Take it from this dad. And though I consider myself to be a fairly good parent, I’m fully aware of the reality that I have limitations as a parent. It’s obvious to me that if The Bride got hit by a bus and died tomorrow, within a week our children would be dressed in soiled clothes and they’d probably be on their way to morbid obesity from eating pizza for dinner every night. Some parenting tasks are just better suited for a mother (again, another sweeping generalization).

When two gay men agree to adopt a human baby, they are agreeing to take on some child that didn’t come out of either one of their bodies, and to whom they will have no natural connection to. Sure, love will grow within them, but the fact that they don’t share DNA just adds one more challenge to an already challenging situation. These two gay men are volunteering to give up their weekend discos, their raves with pulsating lights and throbbing base lines, and their parties filled with shirtless, sweaty dancing men in tiny bootie pants. They are sacrificing the freedom that being gay affords them, and agreeing to chain themselves down to domesticity, Saturday nights in the living room, board games, watching television, changing diapers, and mixing formula.

Sounds like a bad deal to me.

Gay men, do yourselves a favor, don’t force yourselves to conform. You’re different. Embrace it. Celebrate it. Fuck your brains out. Do it for me. Do it for every other domesticated married man you know. We need you to live the dream while we’re at home changing diapers.

We’re rooting for you.

THUG: the definition-

THəg/Submit
noun
1.
a violent person, esp. a criminal.
synonyms: ruffian, hooligan, vandal, hoodlum, gangster, villain, criminal; More
2.
historical
a member of a religious organization of robbers and assassins in India. Devotees of the goddess Kali, the Thugs waylaid and strangled their victims, usually travelers, in a ritually prescribed manner. They were suppressed by the British in the 1830s.

Richard Sherman, to the best of my knowlege, is not a violent criminal, but I am suspicious that he might be a member of a religious organization of assassins in India.

That said, if he isn’t a violent criminal or Indian assassin, then he isn’t a thug, so you can’t call him that and be accurate.

However, I don’t think the term “thug” has the weight of the “N-word”. Case in point, I’m comfortable writing the word “thug”, but not comfortable writing out the “N-word.”

Are some people who call him a thug wanting to call him the “N-Word,” but know that they can’t? Probably. However, not everyone who calls him that means that. Therefore, Richard Sherman is wrong when he equates these two words. That’s too large a jump and too large a generalization.

I’ve called people thugs before. I used the word when speaking of gang members, politicians who knowingly go in cahoots with corporations who do things against the best interest of the people, and Mike Tyson during his 20s. Never once did I mean, or want, to say the “N-Word.” Therefore, Richard Sherman can’t make that leap and generalization.

But we must acknowledge that there are some people for which do use “thug” because they can’t use “N-Word” and we must also acknowledge that most everyone is using this word incorrectly.

All these racial issues are always a lot more gray than black and white (pardon the pun) then anyone, on either side, wants to admit. Let’s be logical and honest in our discussions and not get so emotionally charged. When we become emotional, we become dishonest with ourselves.

More importantly than the above, I am suspicious that Richard Sherman is actually Busta Rhymes. We all know that Busta’s rap career has taken a nose dive. Is this his attempt at a comeback?

The next time you see someone do something weird, just remember that everyone out there is weird. There are plenty of things about you that are normal to you but that the rest of the world would find to be weird.

On the 1st day of 7th grade, at a boy’s most awkward time in life, I went to the first day of junior high school wearing two different colored Converse All-Star High Tops, knee-high colorful tube socks, Jams, shades, and a haircut that was feathered back on one side of my head and cropped short and spiked on the other side of my head, I wore a yellow t-shirt that read “Are You Normal?” on the front and “Normal is Boring” on the back.

How my mother ever let my chicken-legged ass leave the house looking like that, I do not know, but I want to thank her for letting me be a free-spirit and fly my freak-flag. Of course, I took many months of abuse and teasing for my attempt at individuality, but of course, this only encouraged me to wear it more often. I’ve always been a sucker for punishment.

Anyway, I stand by the statement of that t-shirt.

Normal is boring.

Celebrate your inner weird.