Elise Hepner's Blog

I'll be on a plane for four hours and some change today heading to Denver, CO for Reading Until Dawn Con for an awesome pillow fort building, book discussing, good time. I'll be signing books on Saturday, Oct 11th at the Embassy Suites in Denver so stop on by and say hello!

1.  Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns



2. Diary of A Submissive



3. Under His Hand

This is a blog I stumbled upon recently and I just can't get enough of it. It's like a voyeurism lover's wet dream! A site that's been active since 2005, Kaya chronicles her journeys with her Master as a full time 24/7 slave with pics, videos, and riveting journal entries. It's deep, moving, and inspiring for anyone interested in what happens behind closed doors when a submissive doesn't have a safeword.

Warning: It is very graphic, intense, and deals with some play that readers might find squicky.

4. SM 101: A Realistic Introduction



5. The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Roleplay, and the Erotic Edge



6. Conquer Me: Girl to Girl Wisdom About Fulfilling Your Submissive Desires



7. Erotic Bondage Handbook



8. Erotic Slavehood

Hey Guys and Dolls, so...everyone has heard of the mass appeal of the Alpha male versus the Beta male in romances, right? If you haven't, here's a little refresher course:

Alpha Males: Usually are leaders, passionate about what they want in life, failure to achieve what they want whether a person or a goal isn't an option, dominant, physically fit, overprotective, and uber-sexual.

Example: Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries



Beta Males: Usually are emotionally communicative, sensitive, aware of others feelings, passive, and followers, rather than leaders with a more sensual side, less sexually in your face.

Example: Oz from Buffy The Vampire Slayer



Here's another helpful post from Dear Author going a little more in-depth using romance books for examples.

Alpha males are some of the most popular troupes in erotic romance and erotica including all of the heroes from The Black Dagger Brotherhood, anything BDSM-like after Fifty Shades, and a lot of heroes in 80's bodice rippers. I remember one of the first romances I read was about an Alpha male who was seducing the female heroine who was somehow trying to get back to her family in wartime in the 1800's...and somehow, the hero wound up captured by British soldiers and stuck in a thieves hole where his leg got gangrene...then it had to be amputated. It was very strange. That's one of the only things that stick out to me, other than a lot of rape-y undertones. But, that's to be expected when it's a huge genre trend at that time. Anywho, that was a tangent and a half.

So, there's Alpha males, we've established that--and then there's a whole other sub-genre of Alpha fondly referred to as: the Alphahole. Or a male who is so absurdly Alpha that he turns into a total dick and he crosses the line between dominant to overbearing, controlling, and an asshole. Some fun traits of an Alphahole:

Alphahole: An aggressive, cocky male who's a bad communicator, can be chauvinist as well as selfish down to his core. Think caveman--on a good day. Often combined with a manwhore aspect and a pinch of tortured angst for good measure.

Most erotica and erotic romance readers LOVE the Alphahole, myself included, and for the life of me I can't figure out the appeal! Maybe it's because they're often redeemed in the end? They don't necessarily change, per se, but their dickish traits can be explained away by his troubled past or other dysfunctions. Which goes hand in hand with the Beauty and the Beast troupe where the heroine saves the hero with her never-ending support and love.

A man who can be fixed by only me? *gasps* It's like Kindle crack.

I guess at the end of the day, who cares what we like or why we like it, as long as we do, right?

I think this post was supposed to have a more definitive conclusion, but mostly, I just want to go back and re-read all my Alpha books now. Whoops.

See ya later alligators,

Elise Hepner

Every Tuesday 9pm EST I've taken to rewatching my favorite OTP (one true pairing), Damon and Elena, from The Vampire Diaries. I'll be tracking the evolution of their relationship from the very beginning, in true erotic romance fashion. After Season 6's TVD mess, it's necessary to keep my deep Delena love alive for as long as possible.



Every week I live-tweet the episodes and jabber with other TVD fans. Recaps go up every Thursday. This week was Season 1 Episode 3, "Friday Night Bites".  For anyone who couldn't join me, here's my fun little recap done in Twitter screenshots.

Tune in next Tuesday 9pm EST for Season 1 episode 8 "162 Candles".






And yes, this is what I do for fun. I can't be naughty all the time, okay? Sometimes I have to be a couch potato.

Until Later Guys and Dolls,

Elise Hepner

*Trumpets sound* Do you hear that? All that rejoicing over here as if there's a royal coronation in progress? That would be me bouncing over the good news of my new release coming out today. That's right, A Marriage of Inconvenience is finally out in stores. I'm working on the second book, as yet unnamed, in the background as I type this blogpost. AMOI is a sexy, angst-ridden, dark, BDSM laced happily ever after, f'ed up fairytale of a book and I love it. It was one of my most favorite books I've ever written, so it's no surprise I'm so excited that my baby is out in the world.

Blurb:
Izzy Thorton’s mother is dying.                                              Her best friend, Sebastian Leery, made Izzy’s mother’s dying wish come true.                                              Now Izzy and Sebastian are getting hitched in a quickie ceremony.
Among the myriad of problems for Izzy including her new husband’s little black book, his workaholic tendencies, and his hidden, although not so secret love of BDSM—she’s actually in love with him. Caught with the task of proving to him that his self-perceived sins hide a man only his secretly submissive best friend could accept, can she convince Bash before he pushes her away for good?
Sebastian Leery’s mother was murdered in front of him.
To spare his best friend pain he’ll renounce his playboy ways.
Now he needs to be a man he never thought he was capable of becoming—for his wife.
But his difficulties have only begun when his demons rise to the surface and tap dance all over his new marriage—with the potential to scare away the most important woman in his life. When Izzy insists she’s in love with him, he yearns to rip off the mask of normalcy, and bare it all so she knows the monster behind the man. Torn between her vision of him and his reality, Sebastian must walk a thin line. Can he convince Izzy that she’s in love with a mirage, without destroying their relationship in the process?
Tied together for life, will they choose to tighten the ropes, or break their bonds for good?

Excerpts:
Excerpt 1:

“Whoa, easy there, buddy.” Bash laughed. “You can’t kill me with a look, no matter how much you try.” She came close to clawing out his trachea.“Where in the hell are we going to find wedding dresses? Where are we going to find a ring? A tux? Someone to marry us? Huh, Einstein? Did you even think this through at all?” she spat out pushing him backward as he stumbled into the wall with a laugh that only infuriated her even more. “It’s not even close to funny!”“It really, really is, Izzy. Why’d you agree to marry me so soon, anyway? Kind of a strange agreement for someone who’s now pissed about it, wouldn’t you say?”“Just shut up.” Izobel thrust both hands through her hair and raked her nails down her scalp.With a huge huff she moved to brush past him and head off to the parking lot before his hand shot out snatching around her wrist. Izobel made a small, strangled noise of surprise. “Come. Here.”Two seconds later, she was locked in his arms, surrounded by the inescapable warmth of his muscular, lean build. Her fingers tingled where they pressed into his well-built chest, while she was caught in the deep pools of his blueish-gray eyes. His smirk only intensified as shadows from the overhead lighting played down the to-die-for angles of his cheekbones. Her brain short-circuited as her pulse throbbed in her skull blocking out all other sounds or thoughts.“Wha—” “No, you shut up,” Bash whispered and kneaded his fingers into her lower back until she had two jelly doughnuts below where her knees used to be. Her eyes must have been wide and epically confused, because he licked his lips with the hint of a smile. “We’re going to do this properly.”There was a twinge in his voice, a register she’d never heard before that made the hairs on the back of her neck prickle, and a shudder rolled down her spine. Whatever was happening between them, she hadn’t gotten the memo.“I—”“What did I say?” The sudden authority to his tone brooked no argument, and Izobel attempted to pull backward only for him to yank her forward until the last inch between them was history. “Don’t argue with me.”Forced to confront the buildup of muscular man fantasy she’d been missing out on for years, she was in no way disappointed by the solid warmth pressed up against her from knee to neck. But Sebastian didn’t need to know that. Unfortunately, she was positive her face projected her feelings like the Hubbell telescope on steroids. One of his hands trailed up her back, fingers teasing her sensitive skin through her thin shirt, and she let out a small noise. When he cupped the back of her neck in a show of absolute dominance she stopped breathing.“I’m going to kiss you. You’re going to kiss me back, do you understand?”This was it. It was happening. Izobel squeaked, and either Bash didn’t notice or didn’t care because his mouth crushed down on hers, and nothing else mattered.His tongue swept over her lips demanding entry, and despite her verbal jabs she went pliant in his arms. Boneless beneath his greedy, take charge attitude, Izobel allowed him to ravage her mouth while dizzying desire pooled low in her belly. He was a man used to getting what he wanted—and for a single second, Izzy really liked being what he wanted most of all. Beneath the crushing, delicious torment she became swept up in him. When his fingers tightened to bruising on the back of her neck she repaid him by biting his lower lip until she tasted pennies. But he merely growled, intensifying the kiss. She was drowning in him. Unsure what was real or fantasy as his free hand roamed over her ass and back to her waist as she curled her hands into his motorcycle jacket.He took advantage of her mouth in every way imaginable until she could only hope to keep up, and the rest of her body screamed for release. She was at his mercy. Aware of every inch of him pressed tight, eager, and ready. Each of his movements was a claim, almost angry in his possession as he took her against him. But there was no part of her that she tried to hold back, to keep safe. Despite her mind’s knowledge that it was a bad idea, her body was all in, uncaring of what happened so long as they stayed locked together for one more second.She didn’t pull away. Not until she was resting back on her feet and Bash’s hand eased around her hip as if to steady her, still so close she could sense his warm breath on the tip of her nose. The sharp sound of applause broke the moment into a million pieces. They both swiveled around toward the nurses’ station where the employees were clapping and wolf whistling behind the desk giving loud shouts of encouragement.“There’s no need to stop on our account. That’s the best thing we’ve seen all day.” A passing nurse remarked, tucking back a lock of red hair with a waggle of her eyebrows.“Shit,” Bash muttered rubbing the back of his neck.Was he actually embarrassed? Izobel could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen him embarrassed—of course, right now she couldn’t count at all until her head stopped spinning. When she licked her lips, she tasted him. Peppermint, vanilla, and something…masculine. Spicy, maybe? His fingers dug into her hip. But when she looked back into his face, she saw no consciousness of his action.“Well, at least we know we won’t have one problem in our marriage,” he exhaled and dropped his hand as if he’d suddenly realized he was still touching her and shoved it in his pocket. “I guess you should go back to your car, right? I’ll be over soon. Quick.”“Uh, sure.” Izobel narrowed her eyes, still not processing much past the tingling of her lips and the streak of pinkish red lighting up Bash's high cheekbones. “Are you…?”Bash waved with one hand, turned on his heel, and all but ran in the opposite direction. His long legs made quick work of the never-ending hallway. Before she knew it, she was standing alone with her mouth opening and closing like a fish seeing nothing of her surroundings.“A word of advice?” A woman wearing scrubs elbowed her in the ribs. “Don’t let that man go, you got it?”“We’re getting married in two days,” she said in an eerie monotone, still processing the slow burn that was working its way through her veins from his touch.With that as the start of their new relationship, whatever else she had to look forward to flashed across her brain in a naughty tussle of limbs, lips, tongue, and teeth.“What have I gotten myself into?” she breathed.“Something you don’t want out of, trust me,” said the nurse.But that was the problem, wasn’t it?
Excerpt 2:

“Bash? You still here with me?” Her voice cut through his thoughts like a knife through hot butter, and he shifted on the couch and cleared his throat.“Yeah, I’m sorry, what did you say?” He blinked, but she hadn’t made a move toward him still nursing her coffee with two hands. She wouldn’t turn around until she’d forgiven him, so he anticipated he’d see a good portion of her back through the most of the morning.“Don’t you want other people at the wedding? People from your side of the family? I mean, if we overlook the fact that this idea is asinine. If we’re really going through with the idea…don’t you want…more?”A million cheesy lines flashed through his thoughts. Instead, he chose the truth knowing she didn’t deserve anything less for agreeing to put up with his ass for all eternity.“The only person who I’d want there is dead. Nothing else really matters much.”She didn’t make a sound, but he could guess that she heard him judging by the slight cock of her head.“Don’t tell me it’s your ideal wedding, either,” he continued knowing he couldn’t rest too long on the path their train of thought would lead him down. Maybe when the marriage was all said and done, but for now, the idea was too fresh. “I know you’ve always wanted something big, elegant, lavish. A storybook affair. Not a simple ceremony where the only reception smells are antiseptic and bleach.”Izzy shrugged one shoulder nibbling on her croissant. “We make sacrifices.”“I would say agreeing to marry me is quite a big sacrifice.” Sebastian couldn’t wipe the ruthless grin off his face even though she wouldn’t turn around to see it.“I never actually agreed, you know.”For a beat, they hung there, and he knew it was up to him to make or break the moment.“You will, though. When I do it right.” He shifted, licked his lips. “And I will do it right, Izobel. I won’t allow this to be one of my regrets, not where you’re concerned.”“You should have asked me. There was nothing about that ambush that was okay, Sebastian.”“I know. Believe me, I know.” He exhaled in frustration and draped his arms in between his spread legs groping for the right words that wouldn’t leave him so emotionally exposed. He didn’t think he could handle her seeing him undone today. It would be too much on top of everything else that was flooding his mind as the reality of their nuptials hit him like a freight train. “You know I had a good reason to push you. I did it the wrong way, but for the right reasons.”“Your mother,” Izzy supplied, voice cracking on the words, slipping on the emotions he was damming up. “You don’t have to go there—““A little late for that, love.” Bash linked his hands together and soldiered on knowing that he had to get this out, or Izzy would never understand. Right now, she needed to get it. He tried again. He’d try as many times as it took until she didn’t feel second best for agreeing to his plan. “My mother’s life was full of fear, disgust…maybe hatred. And then she was gone. There were no more chances. She was snuffed out by a sick freak who used her fear like an emotional drug, and she never knew anything else. So I couldn’t live with myself if your mom didn’t have whatever scraps of happiness we can give her before her big send off, because I won’t bury another mother knowing that her last moments were Hell. I can’t take that again.” He blinked and barely breathed because even though it was over the acceptance of his past stung deep into a sudden, sharp ache in the center of his chest. Shit, but there was no help for it.“It wasn’t your fault. You were a kid—”“Old enough to call the cops. Old enough to run and get help. There were an unlimited amount of options, and I didn’t choose any of them.” When he scrubbed a hand down his face he wished he could take away the memories. The insistent stab of them made his eye sockets throb with the beginnings of a headache. “The only reason we’re talking about this is because I want you to know I don’t take what I did lightly. Sure, was it impulsive? Absolutely. But it came from the purest place imaginable. I know it’s selfish and demanding, but I need you to forgive me. Do you think you can do that? I don’t know if I can say my vows knowing that you’ve vowed to hate me for the rest of our lives, you know?”“With a speech like that what do you expect me to say?”They both fell silent, and he didn’t think he had the strength to look up from the paint-splattered concrete floor. He’d said a hell of a lot more than the last time he’d spilled his guts. A drunken night in college on the anniversary of his mother’s death had led to a good deal of emotional blundering through mine fields. But she’d stayed with him the whole night. Even when he’d begged her to leave. Izzy was good like that, and he couldn’t say he was always the best for her at all—or even the majority of the time.“Stop internally flogging yourself before I kick your ass. I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it. I won’t pressure you to say anything else about it. Just make sure you show up on time and look pretty.”Sometimes it took his breath away how she simply knew what he needed in the moment and gave it to him without question. A tentative smile pulled across his cheeks. The barest hint, but it was sure as hell enough to shove the demons back for another five minutes.“Thank you,” he breathed out. “I know I’m—““You’re something, all right.” She helpfully supplied before he felt her warm hand cupping his chin until she jerked his gaze up to meet her shimmering brown eyes. “We’re okay. By no means golden, but we’re okay.”A couple walnut-colored tendrils curled around her face escaping from her ponytail and he made a fist, unsure if brushing the strands away would lead them on a path he couldn’t see down. He couldn’t afford any more slip-ups. Not and have their friendship survive. For what must have been a single second, but seemed like a thousand heartbeats, he didn’t breathe while her searching gaze crept over his face.“I love you, you silly asshole.” She squeezed his left hand, as she did every time they went through their ritual.“The feeling is mutual, damnably perfect wench. Please continue to keep me in check as only you can, okay? We’ve both got issues right now, and I’d rather not give you the short end of the stick because I can’t be a big boy and get over my own shit. If you need me, now isn’t the time to go all soft and gooey.”“I’m oka—”“You are so not okay. Don’t play that card with me.” Sebastian met her eyes head on, and this time, she jerked away licking her lips with a quick swipe of her pink tongue. “Don’t play pretend with me. I’ve been through this before, remember?”“Talking about it isn’t going to change anything. Words aren’t going to make me feel any better,” Frustration leaked out of her tone until his throat tightened, and he squeezed the hand he was still holding on his knee. “There isn’t a quick fix, no magical compartment I can shove all my emotions into and get on with the rest of my day. I don’t have anything left to cope.”A rush of air left her lungs as if she’d been holding the weight in her chest waiting for just the right time to breathe again.“You’re not okay,” he supplied trying his best to stay neutral and not rub it in her face.“No. I’m not. I’m not okay.”“What do you want to hear?”“Lies. Feed me blissful lies, Bash.”“It all gets better with time. The memories fade. Eventually, that sick feeling that migrates underneath your breastbone, that dies away until you can almost take a deep breath, again. The only way out is through, but when you’re through, you’ll be better for having done it.” His thumb idly brushed against her hand, and she glanced back toward him as he noticed the shimmer of tears in her eyes.This time when he brushed the barest kiss across her cheek, he knew it would be impossible to erase the sensation of her soft, warm skin beneath his lips. He’d be wearing her body heat across his face like an invisible brand. She was always with him, even when she wasn’t.In that moment, he knew he could make her the happiest woman on earth or rip her world to pieces by his simple existence. It was all a choice.
Excerpt 3:

When Izzy plowed through the door of her apartment that night after working at the studio all day, she still wasn’t finished over analyzing their kiss. But she had to stop thinking, for a moment. Mainly because Bash was down on one knee on her cat pillow, with a ring box in his hand that held a ring with a stone that looked very, very large.“Really? Now?”“I think you’re the only woman on Earth that would complain about this, you know that?” Bash arched a brow and cleared his throat. “Do you want to hear me out or not?”She pushed back a snide retort, threw her gym bag on the ground, and prepared to be swept off her feet. God, she hoped she could stay anchored in reality, at least, for a little while. No need for her feelings to get out of hand when—“Are you even listening, Izzy? This is a little pivotal.”She shut her eyes and refocused, swallowing past the pure fuel of fear and adrenaline that was keeping her on her feet. “I’m sorry, please continue.”“Thank you.”She watched his lips quiver at the corners, but he didn’t speak. With each passing moment, she shifted from foot to foot trying to remember how to breathe. “Okay, you’ll have to forgive me, this is going to be a little rough. I’ve never done it before, you know?”Izobel laughed and nodded, not trusting her voice to tell him to take his time.“Do you remember in fifth grade when Mitchell Stevens stole my banana and shoved it down my pants calling me wiener boy?”“Okay, this is starting off really weird, Bash…”“After Mitchell shoved me down making the mashed fruit pop inside my shorts you jumped up, little fists curled for battle, and called for the lunch monitor on duty like some goodie-goodie—”She opened her mouth to protest, but he put a finger to his lips and she indulged him.“But when the lunch monitor wasn’t looking you stabbed him in the eye with your finger, kicked him in the shin, and then pantsed him in front of everyone. And you never got caught, Izzy. That little girl was my partner in crime, even when I didn’t want her help, even when I didn’t want her to be there, she was there. Now it’s my turn to be there for you. Let me be your partner. Let me help you be strong when no one else is looking, okay? I promise to be as infinitely stubborn, as relentlessly fierce, and never let you face down the world alone. Will you have me?”“I…I…didn’t think you remembered any of that.” She swallowed past her unshed tears and stared down at the giant, glowing rock in his hands.“I don’t forget much when it comes to you.”“Real smooth.” A nervous giggle pressed past her lips until she tightened her mouth, unable to suppress her smile.“So…what do you think? Are you just going to leave me here?” His eyebrows raised as he lifted the ring higher with a cock of his head.“Oh, yes. Yes, of course!” Swept up in the moment, Izobel shoved out her ring finger and waited with a sort of giddy anticipation as he slid the hunk of glittering rock on her hand. “It’s really beautiful. Thank you.”“A highlight of this whole mess, right?”She blinked. “So it’s a pity diamond?”Her whole body went tight and then limp, completely draining the moment as she stared at the ring. Reality ripped into her perfect bubble with a crash bang. None of it was real. The man getting up from her carpet was marrying her, sure, but under false pretenses. When they got an annulment she’d probably wind up giving the ring back. What was the point of even savoring the moment when there was no real moment to begin with, when it was all in her head?“Uh, no?” Bash’s brow furrowed as he got up and took a step back. “I got you the exact size I thought would make you happy. I thought it was what you deserved…but I can take it back.” He snapped the velvet box closed and shoved it in his pocket. “Just because we’re doing this a little non-traditionally doesn’t mean the whole thing has to be fake, Izobel. What I just said, what those words meant…that was real to me.”She bit back the objection that nothing on their personal timeline was real anymore. Unable and unwilling to get into a fight when they were going to get married tomorrow, she pressed back her objections. There was plenty of time to fight about it later. She barely nodded, drained of all emotion. God, she’d been so stupid.“We need champagne to celebrate, don’t you think?” she asked barely above a whisper.“So, we’re okay? You’re okay?” Bash cleared his throat. “There’s no way it was that easy. You seemed really upset. You’re still pale. What’s going on? You don’t believe me?”“I just need a drink. This is all…a lot. You know? It’s really fast.” She couldn’t meet his eyes but sensed his stare“Yeah, I get it. Getting married wasn’t exactly this close on my to-do list, either.” He turned to go into her kitchen, and she tried her best to compose herself taking a minute to breath and not reveal the muddle of emotions making her head pulse with pain. His comment hurt, even if she’d always known he’d felt that way.“But if it had to be anyone, I’m kind of glad it’s you.” Bash returned with two flutes of champagne handing her one of the glasses before chugging half of his down.“Oh yeah? You’ve given it a lot of thought, huh?” She took a tentative sip of her glass. “Not enough other candidates on the roster?”“Okay, Izzy. What are you getting at? Are you trying to start a fight? We’re supposed to be happy, tonight, if we’re playing this up in a typical fashion. If there’s another script, please let me know. I can’t work to make my future wife happy if I don’t know how.”She downed the glass of champagne and brushed past him to go into the kitchen to nab the whole bottle. This was a whole bottle kind of conversation.“This is taking some adjustment, okay? One minute you’re non-exclusive with half the female population, and now you’re expecting me to take you at your word that you’ll be a good husband, only to make my mother happy? It makes a girl feel a little second rate.”Bash made a noise of frustration. “After all that, after how many years of friendship…you don’t trust me?” He put down the champagne flute on the table and crossed his arms, stare boring into her from inches away. Izobel winced unable to move from her spot against the wall. She took another long drag of bubbly, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Now that they were going down this path, there was no way to divert the conversation. They were going to fight, so she might as well be straight with him.“Bash, what were you doing two months ago?”“That’s a little off topic—” “Indulge me. What, or more specifically, who, were you doing two months ago?”
             He coughed and turned his back his shoulders going rigid with tension. “Do we really have to go into all this right now? Why can’t you just be happy?”“How can I be happy when this isn’t a normal marriage! I didn’t want this, and neither do you! Two months ago, you were having an affair with a married woman while you saw a sorority sister and her best friend, all at the same time, on rotation. You managed to juggle three women without blinking an eye and that number’s on the lower end of the totem pole for you. Who would want that for a husband?”“That’s all in the past, now. I know you, I can be good to you—”“I know all of your secrets! A lot of things I wish I didn’t know!”“That’s a good thing. It means I trust you more than anyone else, enough to throw myself under the bus for you—” Bash must have realized what he said as he was saying it because his expression caught up to the horror flashing in his eyes a second too late. “Shit, Izzy…I didn’t mean…” He took two steps forward, and she put her hand out, shaking her head.“You did mean it. And that’s precisely why I didn’t want to go through with this bogus marriage in the first place.”They were silent. There was nothing else to say that could possibly breach the gap between them. It would make for one hell of a wedding day the next morning. Izobel drained the last of the bottle and tossed it into the recycling with a clang that reverberated through her bones. He flinched, cracked his neck, and took a deep breath.“I…uh…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean…”It was the first time she’d ever known him to be lost for words.“Go, Sebastian. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll be the one in white.”
Get a copy of A Marriage of Inconvenience at: Amazon B&N 

Hey Guys and Dolls, things have been work, work, work here and between still getting moved into my new house, setting up my new desk in my office, and snatching time for reading JR Ward's The King when I have free time---yeah, time is a hot commodity. I'm loving catching up on The Black Dagger Brotherhood Series, which I've been meaning to do since way before I moved to my new house. Unfortunately, there are days when after writing, my brain feels like utter pudding. On those days I whip out my newest obsession: a graphic novel.

It's like a book, but easier for my tired brain. Somehow reading dialogue and pictures is hella easier after a long 4k writing day than breaking out a full-fledged, multiple plot thread wunderkind of a book. Some of my favorites right now:


A sexy, geeky, utterly hysterical lesbian BDSM graphic novel about newbies who meet online and get into the lifestyle together. It's adork-able. Truely. I salivate for new copies of this graphic novel. There are 3 out right now. Go. Go get them. I'll wait here.



Rat Queens is a kick ass, take no prisoners, warrior women epic! It's like someone crossed a sexy D&D with Supernatural dialogue.


I haven't actually read this one yet, but I've heard good things. It's about reincarnated Gods on Earth.
Nimona turns superhero and evil villain lore on it's moralistic head! A graphic novel where the bad guys are actually the good guys and a teenage girl can shape-shift and rip apart guys in the guise of a dragon! Both playful, funny, and sarcastic, this one makes you think deeper.

Today I've got an awesome cover reveal for my new contemporary BDSM release A Marriage of Inconvenience, the first book in my The Attic Trilogy. Guys and Dolls, I'm so, so, so excited about this book! I had so much fun writing this angst-y, dark tome. One of my favorite books I've ever written! Without further adieu:



Blurb:
Izzy Thorton’s mother is dying.                                              Her best friend, Sebastian Leery, made Izzy’s mother’s dying wish come true.                                              Now Izzy and Sebastian are getting hitched in a quickie ceremony.
Among the myriad of problems for Izzy including her new husband’s little black book, his workaholic tendencies, and his hidden, although not so secret love of BDSM—she’s actually in love with him. Caught with the task of proving to him that his self-perceived sins hide a man only his secretly submissive best friend could accept, can she convince Bash before he pushes her away for good?
Sebastian Leery’s mother was murdered in front of him.
To spare his best friend pain he’ll renounce his playboy ways.
Now he needs to be a man he never thought he was capable of becoming—for his wife.
But his difficulties have only begun when his demons rise to the surface and tap dance all over his new marriage—with the potential to scare away the most important woman in his life. When Izzy insists she’s in love with him, he yearns to rip off the mask of normalcy, and bare it all so she knows the monster behind the man. Torn between her vision of him and his reality, Sebastian must walk a thin line. Can he convince Izzy that she’s in love with a mirage, without destroying their relationship in the process?

Tied together for life, will they choose to tighten the ropes, or break their bonds for good?

Hey Guys and Dolls! Since I've come back after my hiatus I've been doing a lot behind the scenes including gearing up a few new releases for this coming Fall 2015/Winter 2016. Part of my renovation, so to speak, was making a new website, since my old one is a little bit outdated.

If you're intrigued, check out my lovely, purple website! Isn't it shiny?

In the next couple months I'll be re-releasing Party Games and Roped Emotions, two novella's I wrote way, way, way back in the day that I'll be editing and rewriting a bit including the blurbs. Both of those books will be FREE. Yup, that means no money to check them out at all ebook retailers. Who doesn't like free books? If you're curious, here are the covers:



Coming your way tomorrow and every week on Tuesday on Twitter I'll be live tweeting one of my favorite TV shows and my OTP (one true pairing) The Vampire Diaries Delena (Damon and Elena). I'll be tweeting about all my favorite Delena episodes from Seasons 1-6. If you want to follow along make sure you're following me on Twitter at @EHepner and make your presence known!

Hi Guys and Dolls, it's time again to offer you a chance to get a free copy of my new contemporary BDSM release, A Marriage of Inconvenience the first book in my The Attic Trilogy coming out September 30th.


Blurb: 
Izzy Thorton’s mother is dying.                                              Her best friend, Sebastian Leery, made Izzy’s mother’s dying wish come true.                                              Now Izzy and Sebastian are getting hitched in a quickie ceremony.
Among the myriad of problems for Izzy including her new husband’s little black book, his workaholic tendencies, and his hidden, although not so secret love of BDSM—she’s actually in love with him. Caught with the task of proving to him that his self-perceived sins hide a man only his secretly submissive best friend could accept, can she convince Bash before he pushes her away for good?
Sebastian Leery’s mother was murdered in front of him.
To spare his best friend pain he’ll renounce his playboy ways.
Now he needs to be a man he never thought he was capable of becoming—for his wife.
But his difficulties have only begun when his demons rise to the surface and tap dance all over his new marriage—with the potential to scare away the most important woman in his life. When Izzy insists she’s in love with him, he yearns to rip off the mask of normalcy, and bare it all so she knows the monster behind the man. Torn between her vision of him and his reality, Sebastian must walk a thin line. Can he convince Izzy that she’s in love with a mirage, without destroying their relationship in the process?
Tied together for life, will they choose to tighten the ropes, or break their bonds for good?

Excerpt:
When Izzy plowed through the door of her apartment that night after working at the studio all day, she still wasn’t finished over analyzing their kiss. But she had to stop thinking, for a moment. Mainly because Bash was down on one knee on her cat pillow, with a ring box in his hand that held a ring with a stone that looked very, very large.“Really? Now?”“I think you’re the only woman on Earth that would complain about this, you know that?” Bash arched a brow and cleared his throat. “Do you want to hear me out or not?”She pushed back a snide retort, threw her gym bag on the ground, and prepared to be swept off her feet. God, she hoped she could stay anchored in reality, at least, for a little while. No need for her feelings to get out of hand when—“Are you even listening, Izzy? This is a little pivotal.”She shut her eyes and refocused, swallowing past the pure fuel of fear and adrenaline that was keeping her on her feet. “I’m sorry, please continue.”“Thank you.”She watched his lips quiver at the corners, but he didn’t speak. With each passing moment, she shifted from foot to foot trying to remember how to breathe. “Okay, you’ll have to forgive me, this is going to be a little rough. I’ve never done it before, you know?”Izobel laughed and nodded, not trusting her voice to tell him to take his time.“Do you remember in fifth grade when Mitchell Stevens stole my banana and shoved it down my pants calling me wiener boy?”“Okay, this is starting off really weird, Bash…”“After Mitchell shoved me down making the mashed fruit pop inside my shorts you jumped up, little fists curled for battle, and called for the lunch monitor on duty like some goodie-goodie—”She opened her mouth to protest, but he put a finger to his lips and she indulged him.“But when the lunch monitor wasn’t looking you stabbed him in the eye with your finger, kicked him in the shin, and then pantsed him in front of everyone. And you never got caught, Izzy. That little girl was my partner in crime, even when I didn’t want her help, even when I didn’t want her to be there, she was there. Now it’s my turn to be there for you. Let me be your partner. Let me help you be strong when no one else is looking, okay? I promise to be as infinitely stubborn, as relentlessly fierce, and never let you face down the world alone. Will you have me?”“I…I…didn’t think you remembered any of that.” She swallowed past her unshed tears and stared down at the giant, glowing rock in his hands.“I don’t forget much when it comes to you.”“Real smooth.” A nervous giggle pressed past her lips until she tightened her mouth, unable to suppress her smile.“So…what do you think? Are you just going to leave me here?” His eyebrows raised as he lifted the ring higher with a cock of his head.“Oh, yes. Yes, of course!” Swept up in the moment, Izobel shoved out her ring finger and waited with a sort of giddy anticipation as he slid the hunk of glittering rock on her hand. “It’s really beautiful. Thank you.”“A highlight of this whole mess, right?”She blinked. “So it’s a pity diamond?”Her whole body went tight and then limp, completely draining the moment as she stared at the ring. Reality ripped into her perfect bubble with a crash bang. None of it was real. The man getting up from her carpet was marrying her, sure, but under false pretenses. When they got an annulment she’d probably wind up giving the ring back. What was the point of even savoring the moment when there was no real moment to begin with, when it was all in her head?“Uh, no?” Bash’s brow furrowed as he got up and took a step back. “I got you the exact size I thought would make you happy. I thought it was what you deserved…but I can take it back.” He snapped the velvet box closed and shoved it in his pocket. “Just because we’re doing this a little non-traditionally doesn’t mean the whole thing has to be fake, Izobel. What I just said, what those words meant…that was real to me.”She bit back the objection that nothing on their personal timeline was real anymore. Unable and unwilling to get into a fight when they were going to get married tomorrow, she pressed back her objections. There was plenty of time to fight about it later. She barely nodded, drained of all emotion. God, she’d been so stupid.“We need champagne to celebrate, don’t you think?” she asked barely above a whisper.“So, we’re okay? You’re okay?” Bash cleared his throat. “There’s no way it was that easy. You seemed really upset. You’re still pale. What’s going on? You don’t believe me?”“I just need a drink. This is all…a lot. You know? It’s really fast.” She couldn’t meet his eyes but sensed his stare“Yeah, I get it. Getting married wasn’t exactly this close on my to-do list, either.” He turned to go into her kitchen, and she tried her best to compose herself taking a minute to breath and not reveal the muddle of emotions making her head pulse with pain. His comment hurt, even if she’d always known he’d felt that way.“But if it had to be anyone, I’m kind of glad it’s you.” Bash returned with two flutes of champagne handing her one of the glasses before chugging half of his down.“Oh yeah? You’ve given it a lot of thought, huh?” She took a tentative sip of her glass. “Not enough other candidates on the roster?”“Okay, Izzy. What are you getting at? Are you trying to start a fight? We’re supposed to be happy, tonight, if we’re playing this up in a typical fashion. If there’s another script, please let me know. I can’t work to make my future wife happy if I don’t know how.”She downed the glass of champagne and brushed past him to go into the kitchen to nab the whole bottle. This was a whole bottle kind of conversation.“This is taking some adjustment, okay? One minute you’re non-exclusive with half the female population, and now you’re expecting me to take you at your word that you’ll be a good husband, only to make my mother happy? It makes a girl feel a little second rate.”Bash made a noise of frustration. “After all that, after how many years of friendship…you don’t trust me?” He put down the champagne flute on the table and crossed his arms, stare boring into her from inches away. Izobel winced unable to move from her spot against the wall. She took another long drag of bubbly, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Now that they were going down this path, there was no way to divert the conversation. They were going to fight, so she might as well be straight with him.“Bash, what were you doing two months ago?”“That’s a little off topic—” “Indulge me. What, or more specifically, who, were you doing two months ago?”
             He coughed and turned his back his shoulders going rigid with tension. “Do we really have to go into all this right now? Why can’t you just be happy?”“How can I be happy when this isn’t a normal marriage! I didn’t want this, and neither do you! Two months ago, you were having an affair with a married woman while you saw a sorority sister and her best friend, all at the same time, on rotation. You managed to juggle three women without blinking an eye and that number’s on the lower end of the totem pole for you. Who would want that for a husband?”“That’s all in the past, now. I know you, I can be good to you—”“I know all of your secrets! A lot of things I wish I didn’t know!”“That’s a good thing. It means I trust you more than anyone else, enough to throw myself under the bus for you—” Bash must have realized what he said as he was saying it because his expression caught up to the horror flashing in his eyes a second too late. “Shit, Izzy…I didn’t mean…” He took two steps forward, and she put her hand out, shaking her head.“You did mean it. And that’s precisely why I didn’t want to go through with this bogus marriage in the first place.”They were silent. There was nothing else to say that could possibly breach the gap between them. It would make for one hell of a wedding day the next morning. Izobel drained the last of the bottle and tossed it into the recycling with a clang that reverberated through her bones. He flinched, cracked his neck, and took a deep breath.“I…uh…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean…”It was the first time she’d ever known him to be lost for words.
“Go, Sebastian. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll be the one in white.”
If you want an ARC (advanced reader copy) you can sign up from the link HERE . I'll provide ebook copies of A Marriage of Inconvenience in EPUB, MOBI, PDF, and a few other files options, all you have to do is fill out my form and voila! There should be some other fun things coming down the pipeline in the next couple of weeks, so keep checking back for more kinky mayhem.

There are three people in this world that have acted as heroes in a variety of forms in my books, most notably, Ian Somerhalder, who I met in March at a TVD (The Vampire Diaries) convention in Houston. Two days ago I met another man in my trifecta of men who make my heart skip a beat: Cary Elwes. Excuse me as the little six year old inside my brain swoons and has to be revived to type the rest of this post.

"To the pain highness..."

Cary Elwes is best known for The Princess Bride, Men in Tights, and probably, most recently, Psych.

Witness my thinly veiled spaz and don't ask where I'm looking...
Also, like the man of my dreams since my childhood. Well, I can check that off my bucket list.

Which means, simply: I'm coming for you Christian Bale, you'll be next...