Steven Gregory's Blog: Everything You Need to Know Can Be Found in Folktales

We are meant to laugh. At a bare minimum, we should laugh every day. A couple times a day wouldn't be bad either. Why? Well, without getting too technical, it's because our bodies and minds are better when we laugh. You can read all the studies about endorphins and stress release, people being healed through laughter, and even about the laughing clubs that exist (yes, really). But you really don't need to, because you already know it. You know that when you laugh the sun shines a little brighter, music sounds a little sweeter, and life seems a little better.

As you would expect, there are folktales that are told just for the purpose of making us laugh and smile. Quite a few in fact. It made life for our forbears a little better, and it will continue to make our lives better if we remember them and keep telling them. The following are two tales, one from China and one from India, that I hope will make your day (or night) better by the time you're done reading them. First, the one from India:

The Hodja (Wise One) was once asked what was the more useful, the sun or the moon.
"The sun shines in the daytime when there is a lot of light already," he
replied, "whereas the moon shines when it is dark. The moon is therefore
much more useful."

And this one from China:

Long ago, in a village far removed from the capital of China, an old man asked a simple farm boy a question to tease him: "Which is closer, the capital or the sun?"
"The sun, of course," said the boy without hesitation.
"And why do you say that?" asked the old man with a smile.
"That is easy," said the boy. "We can see the sun from here, but we can't
see the capital."
The old man thought the boy to be quite clever for a farm boy, and the next day took him along to the market place to show him off. People from the capital passed through this small village, for it was on a main road. The old man and the boy stood under a tree, and the old man pointed out this one and that one as they walked by, while the boy stared with open mouth at their strange and beautiful clothing.
"Now then," said the old man when he saw that a crowd had gathered around them under the tree, "tell us, young lad, which is closer: the capital or the sun?"
Promptly the boy answered, "The capital, of course."
The old man's mouth sagged in disappointment. "But only yesterday you told me the sun was closer," he protested.
"Yes," said the boy, "but that was before we saw all these people from
the capital. Have you ever seen anyone who came from the sun?"

A smile a day keeps the blues away! :-)

We love to get things done and accomplish tasks. In work we are often measured by what we've done over the year. The same for school. Heck, even in life we often think about what we've done as a means of measuring ourselves rather than who we are. How we can measure ourselves is the subject of a different post. ;-) But since we do measure ourselves by achievements, we ought to make sure that we go about it the right way. And, of course, there are folktales to help us along, like this tiny gem from the Philippines.

One day a man who had been to gather his coconuts loaded his horse heavily with the fruit. On the way home he met a boy whom he asked how long it would take to reach the house.

"If you go slowly," said the boy, looking at the load on the horse, "you will arrive very soon; but if you go fast, it will take you all day."

The man could not believe this strange speech, so he hurried his horse. But the coconuts fell off and he had to stop to pick them up. Then he hurried his horse all the more to make up for lost time, but the coconuts fell off again. Many time he did this, and it was night when he reached home.

There are two interesting guides contained in this short tale. First is the obvious one and the title of this post. If you are going to strive for a goal, do it deliberately. We often try to rush things and look for the overnight success or get-rich-quick scheme. The true path to a goal is a deliberate one. It doesn't have to be at a snail's pace, but we all know that racing hares seldom win the race.

The second guidepost in this tale is that there is work that must be done on the back end before achieving the goal. The man's horse did not magically load itself with coconuts. He had to spend the time first bringing the horse to the location, gathering up the coconuts, then loading the horse with them.

Our lives are no different. We aren't born great achievers. No baby can dance, sing, play a sport, or put a human being in orbit. We must all put in time and labor building the foundation of our successes before we can achieve them. This, too, is often deliberate work. But in the end, when we've "made it," we'll know why. :-)

Have a question, problem, thought, or just a comment? Want to know what fairy tales say about some other topic? Send it to me and I'll post it here!

Or, you can check out my ebook The Wisdom of Folktales Lessons on How to Live Happily Ever After available here, at Amazon.com, and Smashwords.com. It's a collection of folk and fairy tales from around the world and the advice they illustrate to help you live that happy life!

It seems that the whole world now is quick to take offense or get upset at people over anything. Family members, friends, colleagues, you name it, it seems like all you have to do is look at them the wrong way and they're ready to pounce on you and take you to task over it. In other words, we are not just ready to be offended, but we are looking for it. Does this really make anyone happy? It never has and it never will. The person who caused the offense, intentional or not, doesn't feel good, and neither does the person who gets offended. But here's the real kick in the seat of the pants. We continue to do it anyway! The following is a tragic tale from India that we would all do well to always keep in mind.

In a small town in ancient India there lived a poor Brahman and his wife. They had no children, so they adopted a mongoose on whom they lavished their love. When the couple was blessed with a son, it in no way diminished their love for the mongoose, but the baby and the mongoose were treated as beloved offspring both.

One day while the Brahman had gone out to beg alms and the wife had gone to the garden to gather herbs, a poisonous serpent crept into the house and under the cradle where the baby boy was sleeping. As it rose to get into the cradle the mongoose attacked it and in a short time had killed it, saving the life of the infant. The mongoose then ran out into the garden to get the wife. However, the wife, upon seeing the excited mongoose with its blood-spattered face and claws, immediately assumed that the mongoose had killed her son. She struck the mongoose dead with the knife she had been using to cut herbs and then ran into the home to see her son. Her horror and grief were unmatched when she discovered her son alive in his cradle and the deadly serpent underneath it, cut to ribbons by the mongoose.

What had actually occurred was now evident, and when the Brahman returned home the wife told him what had happened and, in her grief, slew herself. The Brahman, now equally grieved at the death of his wife and the beloved mongoose, slew first his child and then himself.

While most folk and fairy tales end happily, and I try to stick to those, this one is rather important and the tragic ending is important to us, which is the only reason I use it. Sometimes we are more moved by disaster than happiness.

First, it's apparent that had the wife taken but a moment to discover the truth before acting, the tragedy would have been avoided. So it should be with us. Before flying off the handle, jumping to conclusions, acting rashly, or assuming, it behooves us to get all the facts in order first. Especially since first impressions are not always accurate.

Second, consider who it is that is the "bearer of bad news." It is seldom the case that someone who has always been faithful to us will do us a great harm, even unintentionally. Faithful friends and family (and even co-workers) usually remain that way. If we have doubts, it is prudent to investigate, but odds are that those who have been good to us in the past will be good to us in the present and future. As the saying goes, a leopard can't change his spots. That goes for "good" leopards too.

And finally, the real tragedy in this story is what is lost when we assume the worst of someone. The metaphor in this story is that we lose not just our own inner peace, but we lose a valued relationship as well. In many cases, it is a relationship that is never recovered. Perceived offense often leads to real offense, and there is very little we can do to recover from that. As with most things, the best "cure" for a damaged relationship is to prevent it. And often that means giving the benefit of the doubt.

Have a question, problem, thought, or just a comment? Want to know what fairy tales say about some other topic? Send it to me and I'll post it here!

This bit of advice can be applied equally well to your personal and professional lives. After all, of the estimated 108 billion people that have ever lived (a Population Reference Bureau estimate from 2011), not a single one has ever been you before or will be you after. So that makes you pretty special. And given how special you are, why in the world would you want to be like someone else? You have different skills, different experiences, and are wholly unique. And by applying this uniqueness to your life, you can become indispensible. So says this tongue-in-cheek Jewish tale entitled "Chelm Justice."

A great calamity befell Chelm one day. The town cobbler murdered one of his customers. So he was brought before the judge, who sentenced him to die by hanging.

When the verdict was read a townsman arose and cried out, "If Your Honor pleases -- you have sentenced to death the town cobbler! He's the only one we've got. If you hang him who will mend our shoes?"

"Who? Who?" cried all the people of Chelm with one voice.

The judge nodded in agreement and reconsidered his verdict. "Good people of Chelm," he said, "What you say is true. Since we have only one cobbler it would be a great wrong against the community to let him die. As there are two roofers in the town, let one of them be hanged instead!"


Like many other tales, the true import of this tale is found beyond the literal words. Despite the ridiculousness of the tale, the underlying truth is that when you do your own unique thing in your own unique way, people value that and don't want to lose it. That is, when they see who YOU are, they will value YOU. When you are valued, you become indispensible, and those things that are dispensible are done away with.

In the business world it's easy to see why this is important, but it's a principle also applicable in your personal life. In your relationships with people do you provide something they cannot get from someone else or something in a way that's unique? Is it the way you make them laugh, your smile, your comforting shoulder? Employ that and you will become the person that no one can do without. It obviously won't let you get away with murder, but it certainly is a key element in your relationships with others. Just be YOU.

Have a question, problem, thought, or just a comment? Want to know what fairy tales say about some other topic? Send it to me and I'll post it here!

Or, you can check out my ebook The Wisdom of Folktales Lessons on How to Live Happily Ever After available here, at Amazon.com, and at Smashwords.com. It's a collection of folk and fairy tales from around the world and the advice they illustrate to help you live that happy life!

Say what?! Yes, you read it correctly. We all know that the common phrase is "forgive and forget," but that's not exactly healthy. It doesn't take much imagination to come up with circumstances in life where forgiving and forgetting a wrong done to you results in that wrong being done again and again, if not worse. So we need to use a little common sense. And that common sense needs to take into account not only being the one who causes injury, but the one who receives it as well. We can all take some guidance from this fable by Aesop, "The Man and the Serpent."

A countryman's son by accident trod upon a serpent's tail, which turned and bit him so that he died. The father in a rage got his ax, and pursuing the serpent, cut off part of its tail. So the serpent in revenge began stinging several of the farmer's cattle and caused him severe loss. Well, the farmer thought it best to make it up with the serpent, and brought food and honey to the mouth of its lair, and said to it, "Let's forget and forgive. Perhaps you were right to punish my son, and take vengeance on my cattle, but surely I was right in trying to revenge him. Now that we are both satisfied, why should not we be friends again?"

"No, no," said the serpent. "Take away your gifts. You can never forget the death of your son, nor I the loss of my tail."

The moral of the fable as given by Aesop is that "injuries may be forgiven but never forgotten." I would add that when forgiveness is asked, it SHOULD be given, but the injury (offense or wrong)should never be forgotten. We shouldn't bear grudges when people are sincere in asking for forgiveness. But never forget. It's not only good for dealing with the person who has injured you, but makes you aware of others in the future who might injure you either by accident or on purpose.

Three other notes. First, we can cause injury (offense or harm) to someone without thinking about it, just as the countryman's son did. So we need to "walk circumspectly." Be aware of others who are nearby or who might be adversely affected. Then, make adjustments.

Second, the return on any injury you cause may be far worse than the injury inflicted. That should be expected. The person being injured doesn't know if you did it on purpose or not, and so their retaliation is likely to be out of anger. In an ideal world there would be the chance to apologize right away and avoid all unpleasantness, but such is not always possible, especially when the injury is unintentional. But when retaliation is met with retaliation, even the smallest injury can turn into something both sides will regret. Of course, if the serpent had screamed "ouch" and demanded an accounting first, none of the other actions would have happened. Still, it's a reminder to us that when people get offended or wronged, seldom do they ever confront us with the injury before taking action.

Third, and most important, it is the job of the person who caused the initial confrontation to apologize. A sincere apology at that point will generally stop end the hostilities. The sooner it's done, the better the outcome will be. It may never be what it once was, but it certainly won't be as bad as it could be. So forgive, like the serpent, but don't forget. And keep your tail out of the way of those who tromp about willy-nilly.

Have a question, problem, thought, or just a comment? Want to know what fairy tales say about some other topic? Send it to me and I'll post it here!

Life is not entirely esoteric and in need of reminders of things to make us think deep and heavy thoughts. Or rather, there are normal things to keep an eye out for as well. Life is a journey, and along the way there are both mountains and molehills to get over. Amazingly enough, we are often tripped up more by molehills than mountains. We can see and prepare for a mountain, but molehills often sneak up on us and before we know it, BAM!, we're lying flat on our face in the dust wondering what happened.

One of those molehills is being wary of folks that blow hot and cold. That is, people who are all gung-ho over something one minute and then poo-pooing it the next. These sort of people are treacherous to us if for no other reason than that they make us doubt ourselves. You know the type. One day they think your idea is the next big thing, and the next day they have a thousand reasons why your idea is destined to fail. Or something along those lines. Yes, folktales have been written to address this little issue as well, along with providing guidance on how to handle these kinds of individuals. The best, and shortest, one comes from our beloved Greek fabler, Aesop, with his tale of "The Man and the Satyr."

A man and a satyr once poured out libations together in token of a bond of alliance being formed between them. One very cold wintry day, as they talked together, the man put his fingers to his mouth and blew on them. On the satyr inquiring the reason of this, he told him that he did it to warm his hands, they were so cold. Later on in the day they sat down to eat, the food prepared being quite scalding. The man raised one of the dishes a little towards his mouth and blew in it. On the satyr again inquiring the reason of this, he said that he did it to cool the meat, it was so hot. "I can no longer consider you as a friend," said the Satyr, "a fellow who with the same breath blows hot and cold."

Now, as obvious as it is to us that Aesop is speaking metaphorically, it needs to be as plainly obvious to us that people who blow hot and cold from minute to minute are best avoided. Not because they can keep their hands warm and their food cool, but because they are not working for the best interests of those with whom they are involved. They see the world strictly based on their immediate needs and act accordingly. The most glaring example of this type of person is the career politician (pick any office from city council to president), but these people also exist in your family, in your neighborhood, and in your workplace. And you, like the satyr, are best in not keeping these folks as your friends.

Have a question, problem, thought, or just a comment? Want to know what fairy tales say about some other topic? Send it to me and I'll post it here!

Or, you can check out my ebook The Wisdom of Folktales Lessons on How to Live Happily Ever After available here, at Amazon.com, and at Smashwords.com. It's a collection of folk and fairy tales from around the world and the advice they illustrate to help you live that happy life!

We all want to be great. Whether it's born in us or taught to us, it's pretty much a certainty that we want to be significant. No one ever thinks to themself, "Gee, I hope I live a totally obscure life." But the real trick is determining what to be great at. Some people want to be great athletes or great entertainers. Others want to be great entrepreneurs or just fabulously wealthy. But exactly how does one become great? Believe it or not, folktales haven't overlooked this aspect of life, but in fact have spoken on it a number of times. One very good example is "Momotaro" or "Peach Boy," a traditional tale from Japan.

There was once an old couple who had no children. One day while washing clothes in the river, the old woman saw an enormous peach floating along. She picked it from the river and took it home. When the old man came home and saw it, he was very pleased. But just as he was about to carve it so they could eat it, the peach split in half to reveal a baby boy. They named him Momotaro, Son of a Peach. Time passed, and Momotaro blossomed into a handsome teenager. He was taller than all others, and possessed of great strength and courage.

One day Momotaro told his parents that he wished to leave so that he could go to the island of the demons and there defeat them. These demons had continually raided the village, taking people and possessions. His parents were sad, but let him go. As Momotaro walked to the shore, he met a large dog, a monkey, and a pheasant, each of which joined him. Then they all climbed into a small boat and sailed to the island where they commenced fighting with the demons. The end result was that Momotaro and his companions defeated the demons, killing them all. Then they loaded the small boat with treasures from the demons' castle, freed the slaves, and sailed back home. When they landed, Momotaro was hailed as a hero, and the treasure he brought back enabled his family to live in comfort for the rest of their days.

At first blush this story doesn't say a whole lot about being great (unless you live near an island full of thieving demons), but it actually makes two very important points about achieving greatness. First is to look for a problem and solve it. Greatness, in its purest form, is achieved by bringing something valuable to others. We may talk of "great singers," "great athletes," or "great actors," but when we talk of people who are really great the list is much more selective and includes names like Martin Luther King Jr., Buddha, Gandhi, etc. These are people who looked at the world, saw something wrong with it, and went about rectifying it.

Second, and more important, is that you cannot achieve greatness by yourself. In the full story, Momotaro is actually a heavenly being sent to these kind, faithful people. But even this divine being takes helpers to the island to do battle with the demons. The same can be said of all other people who have achieved greatness, regardless of their field. Whether it be supportive parents, mentors, friends, benefactors, or even people who challenged them along the way by asking more of them, greatness was no accident. Achieving greatness was a collective effort by people who believed in the vision and the person who wanted to make it happen.

So, if you want to be great, look for a problem to solve, then surround yourself with people who will support you fully in solving it. The rest is by no means easy, but by staying true to the cause, you WILL get there.

Have a question, problem, thought, or just a comment? Want to know what fairy tales say about some other topic? Send it to me and I'll post it here.

Life isn't easy. From the moment we are born, it is a constant struggle. We get hungry, we get tired, we get lonely, we get ill, and on and on and on. And then, boom!, we die. It's enough to drive you crazy. So we often try to avoid life, cheat death, or act as if death isn't coming. We delude ourselves, take unnecessary risks, or act recklessly. What we really need to do is take the time we are given and live it. According to the Population Reference Bureau, almost 108 billion people have ever lived on earth. And 101 billion of those all have something in common -- they're all dead. So you're not going to buck the trend, no matter what you do. There's a quaint story from Egypt that illustrates this so readily.

There was a man who married a wife of whom he was very fond. But after a while the wife died. Then the man wandered away in order to find a country in which no one died. So he went from place to place, looking for a town where there were no graves. At last he came to a town in the Sudan where there were no graves. So he remained here, in the house of the sheik. The sheik made a feast for him, and first offered him a piece of a roasted leg.

"Where is your father?" asked the man.

"This is his leg," said the sheik, "the rest of him is up there," pointing to a shelf.

Then the man learned that when anyone fell ill, he was killed and eaten, and that this was the reason there were no graves. So in the night he ran away back to his own country.

This very short tale tells us two important things. First, you're not going to escape anything by running away from it. Life has certain things in store for us, and there's no avoiding or cheating them. All you can really do is hasten it to you, which is not really what you want.

The second point of the tale is in the last sentence. The man went back to his own country. In our real world terms, that would be returning to our life and living it. Not to say that we shouldn't make efforts to improve our lot in life (we definitely should!), but we can't hate our life and hope to come out at the end with something better. It just doesn't work that way. So take what you have and run with it, because, in the end, it's all you have anyway.

Have a question, problem, thought, or just a comment? Want to know what fairy tales say about some other topic? Send it to me and I'll post it here!

The title of this entry comes from "Garden Party," a 1972 song by Ricky Nelson. Normally I try to avoid low-hanging fruit like this, but every once in a while it's a good idea to reinforce some of the more obvious points as they can sometimes get overlooked.

First, it's extremely important to realize that different people are pleased by different things. One person may love mystery stories, while another hates them. That's okay. We're meant to be different. Second, and perhaps more important, we have to keep in mind that we're not here to make other people happy. Yes, we want to please our parents, teachers, religious leaders, etc., etc., but it's more important to stay true to ourselves and live the life that makes us happy rather than trying to live a life that makes someone else happy. Because, in the end, no matter how good we might become at something, if it's not something we chose to make ourselves happy, we're not going to be happy doing it. We really are supposed to follow our bliss. Or, as Mike Dooley says, our job here is to be ourselves, and that means doing what makes us happy.

As I wrote at the top, I try to stay away from low-hanging fruit, and that includes the tales I reference. But in this case, Aesop's fable of "The Man, the Boy, and the Donkey" makes this point about as clear as it can get.

A man and his son were walking with their donkey to the market. As they were walking, a man passed by them and said, "You fools. What is a donkey for if not to be ridden?" So the man put his son on the donkey and they kept walking. But they hadn't gone far before they passed a group of men. One of them remarked, "See that lazy boy, he rides while his father walks." So the man told his son to get off the donkey and he got on. A short time later they passed two women. One of the women said to the other, "Shame on that lazy man to make his poor son trudge along beside him." The man was at a loss for a time, but at last he told the boy to come up on the donkey with him. By this time they had arrived at the town and people began to point and laugh at them. When the man asked someone why the man replied, "Aren't you and your son ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey?" Both the man and his son got down from the donkey and thought about what to do. At last they came up with a solution. They cut down a pole, tied the donkey's feet to it, then hefting the donkey on their shoulders continued toward the market, ignoring the laughter all around them. But when they got to the Market Bridge, the donkey, having gotten one back leg free, kicked out, causing the son to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle, the donkey fell over the bridge and into the water where, with its front legs still tied, it drowned. "That will teach you," said an old man who had been following the man and his son the whole time. "Try to please all and you will please none."

While it may be somewhat blasphemous to add anything to a fable by Aesop, I do want to add just one small note to the moral. And that is, sometimes pleasing yourself will DISplease someone else. And you have to accept that. Whether it's the books you read, the music you listen to, or the way you dress, you have to do what pleases you, regardless of the outcome. It will have consequences, some of which might be painful, but if it's what makes you happy -- TRULY happy -- then you must do it. Because, in the end, you're the one who will be most miserable if you don't do it.

Have a question, problem, thought, or just a comment? Want to know what fairy tales say about some other topic? Send it to me and I'll post it here!

We absolutely love complicated things. There seems to be a tendency of people to value things that are complicated or expensive over things that are cheap and simple. Amazingly, more people will pay thousands of dollars to hear a New Age guru spout words of "wisdom" than will pay $5 to hear the same words from another guru. Without getting all psychology-ish, we tend to value things more that cost us something. The more it costs us (time, effort, money, emotional involvement, etc.), the more we value it. If it cost us nothing, then it must be worth nothing.

But does such thinking hurt us or help us? Well, sometimes it's valuable. But not always. Sometimes the wisdom that is cheap is extremely valuable. This little tale from Poland (there's also a good Jewish version of it that's nearly identical) teaches us not only the value of wisdom, but the value in LISTENING to it.

A rich man was walking in his garden one day, cheerful and happy, and suddenly noticed a small bird caught in a net. He took hold of the bird and was very surprised when it started talking to him. "Dear man, let me go," the bird said. "I am too small to eat, I cannot sing, and I am not pretty to look at. But I will tell you three pieces of wisdom in exchange for my freedom." The rich man told the bird that if the teachings were good, he would let it go. So the bird told him, "Do not grieve over things that have already happened. Do not strive for that which is unattainable. Do not believe in what you know to be impossible." The rich man agreed that these teachings were good and let the bird go.

The bird flew into a nearby tree and then began laughing. When the rich man asked why, the bird said it was because he had won his freedom so easily and that if the rich man would have held on to him, he would now be the richest man in the world. "How is that?" asked the rich man. "Because in my body I have a diamond the size of a hen's egg," the bird replied. The rich man stood still for a long moment, then smiled. "You think that you are happy because I have given you your freedom," he began, "but summer will soon be over and the cold winter will begin. It will be hard for you to find food and a place to sleep. But come to my home and I will keep you warm and well fed." At this the bird laughed even harder. When the rich man asked him why, the bird replied: "You gave me my freedom because of the teachings I gave you, and now you are so foolish as to not take them to heart. You should not grieve over things that have past, yet you already regret giving me my freedom. You should not seek that which you cannot have, yet you want me to give up my freedom to live in a prison. And you should not believe that which you know is impossible, yet you believe in my body is a diamond the size of a hen's egg yet I am only half the size of a hen's egg!" And with those last words, the little bird flew away.

Now, this story in and of itself is a valuable lesson to all of us. The bird's three pieces of wisdom are really wise. But going just a bit beyond the obvious gives us the overall point of the story, which is that wisdom, even given cheaply, must be adhered to in order to be of any value. And it need not come from some high and mighty place or person. It COULD come from there, but it could also come from any other source or person. But the real value of wisdom is two-fold. First, what does it cost you to follow it? Does it save you from something (emotional, mental, physical)? And second, you have to listen to it for it to do you any good.

Have a question, problem, thought, or just a comment? Want to know what fairy tales say about some other topic? Send it to me and I'll post it here!

Or, you can check out my ebook The Wisdom of Folktales Lessons on How to Live Happily Ever After available here, at BarnesandNoble.com, at Amazon.com, and at Smashwords.com! It's stories from around the world with real world applications to help you live that happy life!