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John Niland
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Born
Ireland
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November 2022
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“As the foundation of all progress with self-worth is acceptance, we build self-worth by asserting our value, not assessing it. Self-worth is a declaration, not an evaluation. There are no scales, no points, no scores out of a hundred, no preconditions. There is but a single assertion: “Because I’m worth it” or your own equivalent.”
― The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work
― The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work
“... think of self-acceptance in terms of “permission.” So, for example, “accepting the need to rest” might become “giving myself permission to rest.” In whatever way you look at it, self-acceptance or permission means you honestly acknowledge reality. It also means putting down the stick that we’ve been using to beat ourselves. In this way, the pain lessens and our capacity to act is enhanced.”
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“Shinzen Young’s formula suffering equals pain multiplied by resistance (S = P × R) applies perfectly in these types of situations. We magnify any pain by the degree to which we fight it. When we stop reproaching and start accepting, suffering diminishes.
A big part of the Self-Worth Safari adventure is that of reconnecting with your intrinsic reality, rather than living in the mental movie theater of self-assessment and self-reproach. The terrain of romantic love can be painful enough without adding any additional penalty points. If you have lost a partner (or someone you hoped would be a partner), even if love has eluded you entirely, that’s enough to deal with. You don’t need the additional burden of negative judgment about yourself. The pain of loss heals with time, but self-reproach is like a cancer that eats away at happiness and energy.
Self-acceptance is a deep understanding of who you really are, with honest acknowledgment of (so-called) strengths and weaknesses as well as your needs. It means accepting your reality, even when it’s not “enough”.”
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A big part of the Self-Worth Safari adventure is that of reconnecting with your intrinsic reality, rather than living in the mental movie theater of self-assessment and self-reproach. The terrain of romantic love can be painful enough without adding any additional penalty points. If you have lost a partner (or someone you hoped would be a partner), even if love has eluded you entirely, that’s enough to deal with. You don’t need the additional burden of negative judgment about yourself. The pain of loss heals with time, but self-reproach is like a cancer that eats away at happiness and energy.
Self-acceptance is a deep understanding of who you really are, with honest acknowledgment of (so-called) strengths and weaknesses as well as your needs. It means accepting your reality, even when it’s not “enough”.”
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“When it comes to self-worth, it pays to watch out for sabotaging voices, particularly those masquerading behind “positive” affirmations or conditional gratitude. Real self-worth—the type that stands the test of time—is built by decoupling our relationship with ourselves from all conditions. While your health or physical appearance may influence what you have—or even what you do—there is no intrinsic reason for it to shape who you are.”
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“As the foundation of all progress with self-worth is acceptance, we build self-worth by asserting our value, not assessing it. Self-worth is a declaration, not an evaluation. There are no scales, no points, no scores out of a hundred, no preconditions. There is but a single assertion: “Because I’m worth it” or your own equivalent.”
― The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work
― The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work
“When it comes to self-worth, laughter is not just about fresh perspective; it is also about liberation. When we laugh at ourselves, we do more than just see those burdens of expectation that have often weighed us down for years. In a moment of hilarity, we can also free ourselves from those burdens.”
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“For several decades, we have been slaving for a better reputation with ourselves—better looks, more achievement, keeping fit, optimal work-life balance, not to mention changing the world—but is all this really making us happier?”
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“Our relationship with ourselves significantly affects how we interact with other people. Our self-esteem frequently depends on how we feel we are “doing” at relationships. Given that this fluctuates, so does our self-esteem. Intellectually, we may tell ourselves that it shouldn’t, but when have emotions ever obeyed the intellect?”
― The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work
― The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work
