Steven Stosny's Blog

Emotions create importance. With an emotional response, anything can be important; without one, nothing is. There can be no conscious meaning without emotion.

An inflexible emotional system limits growth and development. In the extreme, rigidity of response motivates profoundly self-limiting, self-destructive behavior.

The chain of resentment extends into the distant past. In advanced stages, it goes into the future as well.

We can do in adulthood what we could not very easily do in youth: create meaning and purpose.

When we reduce ourselves to labels—race, gender, profession, nationality, ideology, success, failure—we mistake the labels for the essence of who we are.

Shaming has endured as a form of social control because it attacks the basic human desire for belonging and respect.

Compassionate assertiveness is standing up for your rights, opinions, and preferences, while respecting the rights, opinions, preferences, and vulnerabilities of loved ones.

The adult brain provides the reality testing the toddler brain lacks.

You probably have good reasons to hate. You have better reasons to find peace and self-acceptance, and emotional growth.

Most self-help advice on coping with negative emotions makes it almost impossible to act in your long-term best interests.