Joseph R. Lallo's Blog

Hi, everybody! It has been a little over a week since the release of The Other Eight VS The Icon, my Standalone sequel to The Other Eight. And I gotta tell you, I’m very pleased! I’ve had some huge successes in the past, and I have had some huge failures, and this may not be my biggest release, but it’s truly promising, and I have all of you to thank for that.

I don’t always have the most confidence in a given release. In part this is due to my tendency to write some really weird stories. The Other Eight VS The Icon definitely goes on the list of weirder ones. You can tell this in any number of ways. You can tell it in the way that publisher and I had to work really hard to find a set of genres that worked well for it. Super-heroes, while a well established genre in and of itself in movies, is less well-established in literature. Add to that the gentle fight against potential concerns that people might skip this one if they hadn’t read the first one, and there were things that could have really hamstrung this release. To my great pleasure and excitement it’s had a great launch! See for yourself.

It hit number 15 in YA Superhero Fiction. Technically this means I can call this a bestseller. It was top 20, page one, of its sub-genre. And I have all of you who have read it to thank for that!

If you’ve read and enjoyed the story, though, I have two small favors to ask of you. The first is to spread the word. If you have a friend who digs super-heroes, point them my way. If someone you know has a taste for my odd form of humor, let them know. Or just give me a little mention on whatever social media you enjoy most.

And if you’re really feeling generous, leave a review! Wherever you bought the book, or even on Goodreads and other review sites. It genuinely helps and I would be truly grateful.

That’s all for now. Many thanks for the great release, and I hope to have more fun stories for you soon!

Hello, everyone! Hope you’ve all been holding up well enough. The last year or so hasn’t been especially kind to anyone, it seems. But believe it or not, my publisher and I have been chipping away at some projects for you, and I’m pleased to say, at long last, one of them is ready to release! So, without further ado, I’d like to announce The Other Eight VS The Icon!

Cover, as usual, is the work of the stunningly skilled Nick Deligaris.

The sharp-eyed folks who have been following me all along might recognize part of that title, as a while back I released The Other Eight, the story of seven unlikely super-heroes forming a mighty team and… wait, am I forgetting someone? Bah, it’ll come to me. The point is, the first book was a mostly comedic super-hero satire that I made the mistake of releasing on April Fool’s Day. And this is its standalone sequel!

The plan was to build the perfect hero, but nothing is perfect…

Humanity has long known of the existence of superheroes. Unfortunately, while they are often genuine heroes, they aren’t very super. Nonsensica’s twitch-inducing gibberish and Chloroplast’s mighty photosynthesis don’t quite rise to the promises of the comic books. But that hasn’t stopped the nations of the world from trying to assemble power-packed teams. In the United States, that team is known as The Other Eight, hand-picked from the best of the best (or at least the best Uncle Sam could find). But some organizations aren’t satisfied with finding a hero. They want to create one.

Enter The Icon.

ChiNoKo’s mighty defender has everything The Other Eight lacks–super strength, ultra speed, and neigh invulnerability. But it takes more than powers to be a hero. When The Icon threatens to destabilize his nation and beyond, The Other Eight will need all the power they can get to set things right again.

Unfortunately, lousy power comes with great responsibility, too.

The Other Eight VS The Icon is an exciting super-hero adventure from Joseph R. Lallo. It combines the action of comic book battle with the wit of satire for a story that packs both punches and punchlines.

Readers of the first book should find the same characters they know and love, but newcomers shouldn’t have any trouble getting up to speed. What existing fans of the series will find different is the stakes. This time around, the heroes find themselves in a do or die scenario with properly super-heroic consequences for failure.

I’m proud of this one. It’s a little more traditional in its comic book treatment while retaining a heaping helping of my own crooked sense of humor. I hope you all enjoy it! It’s available for pre-order now, and releases on Sept. 16th in both eBook and paperback. Give it a try!

The plan was to build the perfect hero, but nothing is perfect…

Humanity has long known of the existence of superheroes. Unfortunately, while they are often genuine heroes, they aren’t very super. Nonsensica’s twitch-inducing gibberish and Chloroplast’s mighty photosynthesis don’t quite rise to the promises of the comic books. But that hasn’t stopped the nations of the world from trying to assemble power-packed teams. In the United States, that team is known as The Other Eight, hand-picked from the best of the best (or at least the best Uncle Sam could find). But some organizations aren’t satisfied with finding a hero. They want to create one.

Enter The Icon.

ChiNoKo’s mighty defender has everything The Other Eight lacks–super strength, ultra speed, and neigh invulnerability. But it takes more than powers to be a hero. When The Icon threatens to destabilize his nation and beyond, The Other Eight will need all the power they can get to set things right again.

Unfortunately, lousy power comes with great responsibility, too.

The Other Eight VS The Icon is an exciting super-hero adventure from Joseph R. Lallo. It combines the action of comic book battle with the wit of satire for a story that packs both punches and punchlines.

Pre-order now!AmazonAppleBarnes & NobleKoboSmashwordsFableTolinoVivlio

The camera fades in to reveal Myn. The massive red and gold dragon is wearing a tan apron, which is tied rather awkwardly around a body without the proper orientation for such a garment. She stares uncertainly at the camera, then jumps a bit as a hand reaches in and nudges her foreleg.

“Read the card,” whispers a voice from off camera.

“Oh!” Myn lowers her head a bit, squinting at something just beside the camera. She begins to recite lines rather woodenly. “Hello. I am Myn. Guardian of the Realm and fifth chosen. When I’m saving the world from the evil D’Karon, I can build up quite an appetite. That’s why I eat at Burger Bill’s House of Burgers.”

The unseen helper wheels out a cart, heavily laden with paper-wrapped burgers.

“Why are we doing this?” Myn asked in a hushed whisper, which due to her size was nearly as loud as her speaking voice.

“Look, the world saving business is pretty slim right now. We’ve got to make money somehow.”

“… Do we?”

“Yes.”

“But I have a horde of gold. And Myranda lives in a castle.”

“Yeah, that’s great for you, but some of us live in a capitalist hellscape. So please read the cards.”

“If I must.” She turned back to the camera. “Burger Bill’s House of Burgers is the only Burger House with burgers big enough to satisfy a dragon-sized hunger.”

She glanced aside again.

“These cards sure say burger a lot…”

“It’s a burger house,” whispered the off-screen voice.

“But it’s already Burger Bill’s. Also, what’s a burger?”

“Those things in front of you are burgers.”

She looked at the pile.

“Those are wads of meat-smelling paper.”

“They’re wrapped.”

She stared at them for a moment.

“Why?”

“So you can take them with you and eat them somewhere else without making a mess.”

“Why not just eat them where you get them?”

“Because sometimes you don’t have time for that.”

“No time for a meal?”

“Capitalist hellscape.”

She blinked. “You should do something about that. It sounds terrible.”

“Just read the cards please.”

She huffed and turned back.

“When I finish fighting the forces of evil, I can’t wait to sink my teeth into a triple-patty beef-a-paloosa.” She turned. “Are these real words where you come from?”

“No. They’re marketing.”

“What’s marketing.”

“It’s how you get people to want to buy things.”

“Why would you want to make someone buy something if they don’t want to?”

“To earn money.”

“Because of the capitalist hellscape?”

“Yes.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “You’re a sad little man.”

“You have no idea. Cards, please.”

She turned again.

“The beef-a-paloosa has three quarters of a pound of genuine, never-frozen beef. And it’s charred fresh with real flame.” She turned. “Do you have fake flame here?”

“Kinda.”

“Also, why am I wearing an apron? Am I making this food or eating it?”

“Look, if you just finish the commercial, you can have all of those burgers.”

She sniffed them. “No thank you. I like hunting.”

“Tell you what. Read the next card, and I think you’ll see the light.”

She turned to the camera. “And best of all, dine-in customers get the bottomless barrel of steak fries.”

A second cart wheels out, filled to overflowing with golden brown bits of fried potato. Myn’s eyes widened.

“For me?” she said.

“When you finish the commercial.”

She snapped back toward the camera and read as quickly as she could.

“So-when-you-have-a-dragon-sized-burger-craving-make-sure-you’ve-chosen-Burger-Bill’s-house-of-burgers-it’s-dragon-approved!”

“Good enough.”

She drove her head into the cart, happily crunching at the fries as the logo appears over the video.

“What are these again?”

“Fries.”

“Capitalism seems bad, but if it made these, it can’t be all bad,” she said, happily munching.

“Yeah. Capitalism does produce some good snacks…”

Hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? (It feels like I’m always having to say that…) But don’t worry, I’ve been cooking all this time. There are a couple of books that are ready to start moving forward into the pipeline, and one of them has triumphantly released! The Clash of Shadows: Shards of Shadow Book 4.

Look at that beauty of a cover up there by Deranged Doctor Designs.

This is the next chapter in the continuing adventure of our Urban Fantasy protagonists, Alan and Blot. They’re both starting to get the hang of this whole “shadowy underworld” thing, which means it’s time for the universe to throw them a curve ball. Do you like heists? Do you like fights? Good news! This has got both! It was a load of fun to come back to these characters and play in a modern setting again.

But that’s not all that we’ve had cooking. This series was previously available only on Amazon. With this release, not only is it available wide, so are the previous three books in the series. The first one is even free in digital form. So if you’re just learning about this series, why not grab them all?

A Traitor in the Shadows
The Prison of Shadows
The Balance of Shadows

I hope you enjoy them, and I’m looking forward to sharing whatever is next! Thanks for reading!

In the shadows, the balance is tipping…

Alan’s journey from a freelance forensic photographer to a key player in the police department is about to take a darker turn. Alongside his steadfast friend Jessie, Alan dives into an investigation of a money laundering ring with sinister ties to the Shades. But this is no ordinary case. The fragile peace between the Glints—angelic beings with a sinister edge—and the Shades is on the brink of collapse, threatening to unleash chaos beyond the shadow realm.

As Alan and his Shade companion, Blot, plan a daring heist to recover mystical artifacts from a seemingly innocuous sandwich shop, they face off against shifters—humans twisted into monstrous forms by their Shade masters. With the help of a mischievous creature named Chu-chu, they must navigate a web of deception and danger.

In a world where crime, law enforcement, and the supernatural collide, Alan must balance the scales before the impending clash between the Glints, the Shades, and a mysterious third force engulfs everything in darkness.

Shards of Shadow: Book 4 is a thrilling continuation of Joseph R. Lallo’s Urban Fantasy series, blending crime, magic, and the eternal struggle between light and dark.

Buy NowEpub:KindleSmashwordsAppleBarnes & NobleKoboOdiloPaperback:AmazonBarnes & NobleProduct details:Publisher: ‎ Heart Ally Books, LLC (November 19, 2024)Language: ‎ EnglishPaperback: ‎ 244 pagesISBN-10: ‎ 1631070711ISBN-13: ‎ 978-1631070716Item Weight: ‎ 10.5 ouncesDimensions: ‎ 6 x 0.61 x 9 inches

Hello folks! I’ve been in something of a low-power mode lately, but to keep the pilot light lit I’ve kept the Patreon going. And as is my custom, once I’ve put together a year or so of Patreon stories, it’s time to let non-patrons get a chance to read them. Paradoxes and Dragons 3 contains eighteen stories! Bunches! Which ones? These ones!

A Real Test and A Real Test 2:A pair of stories continuing Top Level Player.A typical Story: Just a regular old story. Nothing odd about it!Blot Now and After: A Shards of Shadow story about Blot’s concerns for the future.Brimstone Altar In Between: Oh. So that’s what Trixie used to get up to…Dragons in Space 2: Because there is no place that can’t be made better by adding dragons.Drake Tiller: Why would someone have this many gold records?Filthy Monkey Rats: Lesser Harpies get up to hijinks.Fiora Fic: If anyone’s liable to write a fan-fic, it’s Fiora.The Goth Ticket: This lady sure commissions a lot of paintings of herself…It Just Takes a Moment: Witches do lots of good, it turns out.A Kobold’s Journey: Teya from Greater Lands Saga takes a jaunt.Priceless: You take a patron of the arts where you can find one.The Second Voice: Don’t mess with the fuzzies.The Curator: Gosh, what sort of creature would be a natural curator?The Third Wish: A genie story. Make a wish or two!In the Long Run: Some messages take a really long time to write.Visiting the Port: Big Sigma with a sprinkling of something mysterious and new!

I hope you’ll enjoy these tasty little experiments as much as I enjoyed writing them!

Step into a world where the unexpected is the norm and the fantastical is just a page away. In this third installment of the Paradoxes and Dragons series, Joseph R. Lallo brings you another captivating collection of short stories that blend science fiction and fantasy in ways you’ve never imagined.

From dragons navigating the vastness of space to characters rewriting their own stories, each tale offers a unique adventure:

Dragons in Space 2: Join Runt, the dragon, as he learns to “fly” in space to save the world—or at least secure his next meal.Drake Tiller: Discover the secret life of a dragon who hoards gold records and navigates the world of music and fame.Priceless: Follow the journey of a young artist kidnapped by a dragon who collects art, as they form an unlikely friendship and explore the world’s beauty.In the Long Run: An intern’s routine task of listening to sounds from the past turns into a first contact with aliens, communicated through gravitational waves.Visiting the Port: Join Lex on a time-traveling adventure to rescue his pet funk, Squee, after she is accidentally sent back in time to a gathering of science fiction fans, causing delightful chaos.

With stories that range from whimsical to profound, Paradoxes and Dragons Volume 3 promises to delight fans of the series and newcomers alike. Whether you’re looking for a quick escape or a deep dive into imaginative worlds, this anthology has something for everyone.

Buy Now!Epub:SmashwordsKoboApplePrint:Buy DirectMore links coming soon!

(Previously published in part as Structophis.)

“Sleeping bags. Toilet paper. Basil. Grated cheese. Whole wheat flour. White flour. Flour for bread makers. Red pepper flake…”

Science awaits!

When you’re kneading to hide out from family, the cops, and overly determined gangsters, the last thing you want is a pizza dragon crust-ing your style.

But for Markus and Gale, it’s not just about dodging the heat; it’s about rising to the occasion. They have one goal: protect Blogette, the newly hatched pizza dragon from… everyone. It’s a topping priority!

Join them as they embark on a saucy quest filled with cheesy moments, dough-lightful adventures, and maybe just a slice of danger. It’s a heartwarming YA tale that’s sure to deliver.

From the author of The Book of Deacon, Bypass Gemini, and Free-Wrench, Pizza Dragon is a pizz-a work based upon a concept and artwork by ProjectENDO. Get ready to feast on this epic tale of friendship and fire-baked bravery!

Buy now!

(More epub and print links coming soon!)

Ebook:KindleSmashwordsPrint:DirectAmazonBarnes & Noble

Steam-powered airships rule the skies in a world blanketed by a toxic fug.

These are the continuing adventures of Nita, Lil, Coop, Cap’n Mack, and the rest of the Wind Breaker crew in a series of steampunk adventures that comprise the second half of the main story arc of the Free-Wrench series.

The collection includes three full novels:

The Calderan Problem – The Wind Breaker earns a safe harbor in Caldera and brings its conflict with it.Cipher Hill – The Wind Breaker Crew goes on the offensive, dead set on dethroning the biggest thorn in their side.Contaminant Six – The fug takes a terrible toll on the Wind Breaker crew, but just as this journey began as a search for a cure, so shall the journey end.

It also includes two short stories:

Lil and Coop – The tale of how the Cooper siblings came to be a part of the Wind Breaker CrewThe New Inspector – The story of how the ship got its surly ship’s inspector.Buy NowKindleAppleNookRakuten KoboGoogle PlaySmashwordsAngus & RobertsonMondadori