Liane Davey's Blog

Confession: I used to think accountability was simple—just own the work, do your best, and deliver. But then I realized something uncomfortable: accountability is owning what you don’t control.

Accountability is owning what you don’t control.

That’s why your team hesitates. That’s why they squirm when you ask for “more accountability.” Because accountability isn’t about effort, or even output. It’s about effect.

And there’s no guarantee that wearing yourself to the bone, or even that backing up a truckload of outputs, is going to create the effect that you’d intended. Gulp.

“Accountability is accepting ownership for something you don’t control.”

Imagine how that adds up for the average employee. They work their butt off, getting stuck at the office long after the automated energy-saving lights go out. They produce the campaign, the reports, or the client presentations that they promised. Now imagine the needle doesn’t move. The sales don’t materialize. The customer’s behavior doesn’t change.

How do they feel?

Maybe it shakes their self-esteem. They’re nauseated and flushed in the face, feeling like they’ve made terrible choices. Questioning whether they’re cut out for this work.

Maybe it erodes their teammates’ confidence in them. Coworkers drop their eye contact and fall silent when they walk into the room.

Maybe it causes you to think twice about giving them a high-stakes assignment next time.

Each of those is a form of social pain: the distress of eroding our social connections. Social pain is as real and as physiological as any other form of pain. It’s the sting of being rejected, the ache of being excluded, or the bruising associated with feeling less than. (Yes, it turns out you really can have hurt feelings.)

Social pain is as real as a cut, a burn, or a bruise.

No wonder many people don’t want to accept accountability! Who wants to sign themselves up for feeling like a failure, especially if that failure means you let the group down?

As a manager, if you want people to take accountability, you have to create an environment where the risk of being accountable feels manageable—feels worth it.

Five Ways to Manage the Risk of Accountability

While the perception of risk exists within the employee’s mind, and you can’t simply snap your fingers to make them feel safe, there are things you can do to tip the scales so their confidence outweighs their fears.

Clear Expectations

Am I clear on the ask?

Would you jump off a diving board if you couldn’t see what was below? Just close your eyes and leap into the abyss? That’s what it feels like when you ask someone to take accountability without being clear on the outcome they are signing up to deliver. The more concrete, defined, and tangible the assignment seems, the more the person is able to assess the risk in advance and choose, in an informed way, to proceed.

Reasonable Stretch

Is it doable?

If they’re clear on what they’re signing up to deliver, the next problem is whether that stretch feels doable. That’s partly about how far away the target is, but also about how many other things they’re trying to do at the same time. The greater the focus you can provide and the more of their attention and energy they can dedicate to accomplishing the outcome, the more likely they will take accountability.

Safety in Struggle

Will I be able to get help if I need it?

Do you and the other members of the team have their back? Is this a situation where signing up is committing to going it alone (being the “one throat you’ll choke”), or one where they’ve got support in their corner when it’s needed? The more confident they feel that there’s a net and a spotter under the high wire, the more likely they’ll take the risk of ownership.

Feedback Before Failure

Will I have a chance to course correct?

Will there be feedback and data to let the person know how things are going? Will there be advice, support, and coaching about how to turn things around if they’re headed off track? Or will they be left to careen off the cliff with no advance warning? The more opportunities the person will have to understand their performance and its impact, and to make changes before it’s too late, the better.

Reasonable Consequences

Is the risk worth it?

Will achieving the outcome lead to positive consequences that are meaningful enough to outweigh the risk of the downside? Is there a chance of a gold star? Will the negative consequences of not succeeding be manageable? The more you can tip the balance so that the upside opportunity is worth the downside risk, the more likely they’ll grab on to accountability and run with it.

The Manager’s Math

In corporate life, we don’t calculate the risk of lost-time or life-altering injuries. We calculate the risk of irreparable damage to our credibility, reputation, and belonging.

So the next time you want more ownership, ask yourself: have I stacked the odds so the bet feels safe to make? Because accountability isn’t free. It’s a wager. And the leader’s job is to make it one worth placing.

 

The post Why Taking Accountability is Risky appeared first on Liane Davey.

Well, there goes summer. Was your summer less a sipping-mocktails-from-a-floaty-in-the-lake kind of summer and more a, at least I can see a lake while I’m on this Zoom call kind of summer? Yeah, mine too.

That’s what I signed up for when I decided to write a book this year. But I’m not here to talk about how writing a book ate my lake time. I’m here to talk about how it forced me to stop ignoring things I needed to face. I’ve long suspected my subconscious convinces me to write books when there’s a lesson I need to learn myself.

Yup, this summer, I swallowed more of my own medicine than mocktails.

One idea from the new book really threw me for a loop. I’m sharing because it explains why you’ll see something different from me this year—and because I think it’s something we all need to be thinking about.

It’s the idea I start the book with. The tip of the spear. But ouch, it’s sharp.

Three Ways to Focus

What you focus on at work makes all the difference in what you get as a result.

Option 1: Focus on Activity — The Busyness Illusion

You can focus on activity. Log long hours, grind, and keep up with every meeting, every email, every Slack ping. The result? You become very busy.

Option 2: Focus on Outputs — The Productivity Trap

You can measure yourself by what you deliver. Deliver presentations, ship projects, and send reports. The result? You become productive.

Ooo. Productivity. That’s good, right? Isn’t it?!

Well…productive is better than busy, but still a trap. Writing this book made me realize our obsession with productivity is a huge problem. And when I say our, I mean for me too.

I’ve spent years focused on being productive. A blog post and a YouTube video every week. No matter where I am, I don’t go to bed Sunday night until they’re live. Even if I’m bleary-eyed, lit only by the glow of my laptop, I keep going until I hit publish.

Maybe your version looks different. Maybe it’s inbox zero, spotless dashboards, or endlessly polished decks. Whatever form it takes, the compulsion feels noble—your productivity is a significant contributor to your self-esteem.

Mine certainly was. Running a consulting firm, giving keynotes, and still producing content made me proud. I wasn’t a flash in the pan. I was in it for the long haul.

But here’s the truth: I was trapped. Like a Jedi snared by an Ewok fuzzball. And like Luke and Leia, getting free was going to hurt.

Option 3: Focus on Outcomes — The Effectiveness Edge

Getting out of the productivity trap means realizing that work isn’t about activity or outputs; it’s about outcomes. What change are you creating in the world? That’s what determines whether you’re successful and whether you’re creating value.

Did sales go up? Did your training increase the value of the feedback managers give? Did you fend off cyberattacks?

Busyness doesn’t count. Productivity doesn’t count. Only effectiveness matters.

And here’s the kicker: I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching.

The outcome I’m chasing is a world where work is a more positive and meaningful part of your life. Yes, your life. You are my why.

More specifically, my mission is to make teamwork work better so you and your colleagues can achieve amazing things together. That’s the mission of our company, and I am crystal clear on it.

And still, I lost sight of whether all the content I was churning out was helping to achieve those outcomes.

Facing the Brutal Facts

Where are your efforts not giving you the outcomes you need?

Because I know it’s not about effort. And it’s not about productivity. We have to admit that both are irrelevant if they aren’t effective.

I don’t have it figured out yet. I know I won’t be tied to a weekly schedule anymore. But beyond that, I’m still working on it. And it’s rattled me. I don’t feel proud of being a content machine anymore. I feel a little stupid for taking so long to realize my work was propping up my own sense of worth instead of making your work easier.

Not Just Me

If misery loves company, the best thing I could do with this realization was share it with people I respect.

I asked my mastermind group if they, too, were comforting themselves with productivity while ignoring signs it wasn’t working. The answer was unanimous: Ugh. Absolutely.

One admitted she kept coaching an employee who was never going to succeed, simply because giving feedback felt productive. I see it in my clients too: launching products that land with a thud, investing in processes that look sophisticated but don’t deliver value, or “transformations” that never ask the questions that would actually change the business.

What About You?

It’s uncomfortable to answer this honestly, but recentering on outcomes is the only way to fight burnout. Not only because it reconnects us to what matters, but because it’s the only way to do less of what doesn’t.

So—where are you mistaking productivity for progress?

If we can call it out, we can stop it. We can free ourselves to do less of what doesn’t matter—and more of what does.

The post Is Productivity Really So Important? appeared first on Liane Davey.

In this final post in my series on managing your energy at work, I want to distinguish between two different kinds of motivation: the kind that comes from opening yourself up to ideas that inspire you and the kind that comes from delving deep into your values, intentions, and character. Let’s talk about the different sources of energy to power your week.

Fill Your Cup

I like the simple metaphor that equates your energy levels to the amount of water you have in your cup. Some days, your cup feels full and almost overflowing. You have plenty of energy to use and enough to share. You can splash it around. Other days, it feels like it’s bone dry and you have nothing to go on. You might wonder if your cup has a crack in it because your enthusiasm and gumption seem to be gone before you know it.

It raises the question: Where can you refill your cup?

Fill from a Waterfall

Perhaps the most joyous way to fill your cup is to tap into a seemingly unlimited source of energy, inspiration, and ideas. This is the energy that comes from creativity, passion, and curiosity. There are a few places to look for those secret waterfalls. The first is to connect to a cause you feel passionately about. Are you solving a problem that’s confounded you for ages? Are you finally getting around to fixing something that will make your life much easier? Are you finding a way to add value for your customers that will slingshot you ahead of the competition?

It’s not enough to identify your worthy subject; you have to immerse yourself in it. That means blocking out the relentless distractions of daily life and giving yourself two or three hours to let it flow. When you protect time and focus to work on something that matters, you’ll notice an influx of energy. This is the kind of energy that makes you not want to be interrupted (and sometimes to blow through a scheduled meeting or skip a meal). This is the torrent version of energy, and it’s too rare in our world because we’re seldom willing to walk in the woods long enough to find a waterfall.

Tips to Find a WaterfallName the most important way for you to add value at workIdentify a problem that needs to be solved to add that value, orPick a source of friction that’s been slowing progress, thenSpend an hour framing how you might tackle a specific chunk of the issueAssemble the pieces you need to make headwayCarve out a three-hour slot to work uninterruptedTurn off all notifications and put your phone in a different roomSet a timer for 15 minutes and start doing something (anything) to build momentumEach time you start to feel stuck, switch modalities (e.g., change from typing to dictating, from dictating to drawing, or from drawing to teaching someone)Refrain from editing or correcting anything; keep moving forward the whole time

We are so unaccustomed to working in flow that this practice might take a while to work. You might have to wander in the woods for a while before you find your waterfall, but keep looking.

Fill from a Well

I wish there were more waterfalls in your week, but if not, you have another source of energy. This is the energy that comes from discipline, self-awareness, and grit. Everyone has their own wellsprings of energy, and knowing where to find yours is key to tapping into an underground source of energy when you need it. To find your well, reflect on what activities give you a lift when you’re feeling rundown. How could you take a task that seems mundane, or pointless, or insurmountable, and make it more manageable?

I’m going to list a few different wells. As you read them, you’ll recognize which ones are good sources for you and which are bone dry. Which of these seems like a good prospect for you?

The Wellspring of Action

You might be the type of person who gets mental energy from expending physical energy. Sitting on your butt at your desk or in meetings might be the most exhausting thing you can do. If that’s you, get moving!

If you have control over your time, add exercise to the middle of your day.If you don’t have control over your time but do have control over your space, try a standing or walking desk or stand up during meetings.If you don’t have any wiggle room, get some silly putty, a stress ball, or even some chewing gum and feel the boost you get from even a minor motor release.The Wellspring of Order

You may experience the dual benefit of feeling both calmer and more energized by bringing order to chaos. Working in a slap-dash world of surprises and things not going according to plan might be burning you out. If that’s you, start organizing.

If you’ve got the autonomy, create a new mid-term plan that incorporates all the moving parts.If you don’t have sway over others, plan your own week so you know what’s coming at you, when.If your world is far too unpredictable to plan a week, craft some if-then statements for how you’ll handle new expectations that come at you.The Wellspring of Connection

You might get your energy from connecting, collaborating, and competing with others. Working on your own and without any sense of whether you’re winning (or even making meaningful progress) might make your work feel pointless.

If you’ve got a team available to you, hold an informal brainstorming sessionIf you don’t have a group you can call on, find a colleague to talk through your ideas withIf you’re on your own, set a goal and a timer and play it like a reality tv show.The Wellspring of Imagination

Did none of those sound like wells from which you could draw energy? You might be a person who is energized by ideas, insights, and inspiration. Doing the same old, same old crushes your spirit. If that’s you, start inventing.

If you’ve got the purview, rethink what you’re trying to accomplish with your work and articulate your purpose in new, more compelling languageIf you don’t have control of the outcomes, come up with a better way to achieve the outputs you requireIf you don’t have the liberty to change much, make small changes to your workspace to make it more creative or playful.

Whether you can follow the trail that leads to a waterfall of inspiration or you have to dig deep to tap your natural wells of energy, there are ways to fill your cup throughout the week.

Additional Resources

Energy Management: Rituals, Routines, and Refills That Work

The Four Birkman Colors

From The Coaching Tools Company 7 Easy Ways to Energise and Refocus at Work

 

The post Wells and Waterfalls: Sources of Energy to Power Your Work Day appeared first on Liane Davey.

You’ve probably had days where you start off feeling fully charged, only to find yourself on low power by mid-afternoon. Sometimes, it’s hard to explain why. You got a good night’s sleep, ate the protein, took five-minute breaks every hour, and used all the energy management techniques you’re supposed to use to make your energy last all day. Why isn’t it enough?

Your energy level has its pluses and minuses. While you might be doing everything right to start with a full charge, if you’re burning through it with a series of physically, cognitively, and emotionally taxing activities, it won’t last. If you want to get to the end of the day with energy to spare, you need to identify and address the things that are running you down.

Let’s break down the hidden energy hogs that are zapping your charge—and what you can do to conserve power.

Track Your Energy Balance

Ok, the battery metaphor is convenient, but humans aren’t as predictable as cell phones. Your unique job, personality, and circumstances mean that activities affect you differently than others. What burns you out might energize me. Your phone has a nifty screen to show the power consumption of different apps, but sadly, when it comes to the activities that are wearing you out, you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.

For two weeks, track your energy levels and note any highs and lows. What’s energizing you? What’s draining you? Which meetings, tasks, or people leave you depleted, and which ones give you a jolt? Once you’ve got the data, you can start making informed choices about where you invest your time and energy.

Common Energy Drains

To get you started, here are three common culprits and some strategies to slow the discharge.

Decision Fatigue

Making decisions is tiring. The scientists are still trying to figure out exactly why, but that doesn’t matter for our purposes. Each choice you make demands your attention, requires cognitive resources, and often triggers an emotional reaction as you try to balance risk and reward in the face of ambiguous information and uncertain outcomes. How many times a day are you doing that?

Anything you can do to reduce the number of decisions and streamline the ones that are left is a good investment.

Energy-saving tactics:Streamline low-stakes choices. Standardize meals, outfits, or workflows. Automate, mechanize, and form habits for as many things as possible.Batch decisions. Make similar choices in one go rather than context-switching. Do a bunch of similar administrative tasks at once. Fill in multiple performance review forms together.Use checklists. Get the process out of your head and into a reliable system. Each time you use it, improve it based on your results until you have a process that works like clockwork.Pre-program hard choices. Make difficult decisions and lock in the plan when you’re feeling at your highest energy. Rather than failing in a moment of weakness, make calls in your moments of strength.Drama

Emotional intensity consumes power quickly. Highs and lows, spins and dips on the emotional rollercoaster are exhausting. Whether it’s a teammate’s repeated venting, an emotionally loaded news story, or your own ruminating thoughts after a tense interaction, every hijack pulls your focus and lowers your capacity for productive work.

Drama-reducing Tactics:Limit exposure. Mute that chat thread. Skip the doomscroll. Excuse yourself from the gossip session. Step away from the sources of emotional extremes so you can stay focused on what needs to get done.Time-box it. Some people love drama and want nothing more than to rope you in. When you choose to engage in emotionally charged conversations, limit the time they take. Commiserate and console a colleague for 15 minutes before a meeting so you have a hard stop.Set boundaries. Let people know what conversations you’re available for—and which ones you’re not. You might be okay with a colleague periodically venting (sharing their own woes), but not gossiping (talking about someone who isn’t present).Install circuit breakers. When someone repeats the same complaint for the third time, it’s OK to say, “I’ve shared what I can. Let’s shift gears.”

The goal isn’t to disconnect completely or to become a cold, uncaring colleague. Instead, you’re trying to control when and how you plug into emotional currents.

Destructive Self-Talk

You might blame your exhaustion on external factors, but some of the worst energy drains are internal.

Self-doubt. Perfectionism. Conflict avoidance. Fear of being shut out. These narratives can often run in the background, pulling steady power and making it harder for you to use your energy to make real progress.

“I’m not good enough.”“This needs to be flawless.”“I can’t say that—it might upset someone.”

These mental scripts are draining.

Self-doubt-reducing Tactics:Notice the pattern. Give your inner critic a name so you can create some distance from the fiction it’s feeding you. “There’s Doubting Denise again. She’s up to her old tricks.”Interrupt the loop. Use a mantra, breathwork, or movement to break the cycle. Music can also quickly rewire your mood. I have a playlist of songs that are 100% effective in pulling me out of a funk.Replace the story. Practice more constructive, compassionate self-talk. And when all else fails, research shows that helping someone else reframe their negative self-talk will have a positive effect on your own.Keep Your Charge for What Matters

It’s too much to expect your energy to last the day if you’re only paying attention to one half of the equation. Energy management is more than just charging your batteries; you also have to reduce the drains.

When you reduce the amount of energy that’s going to low-value thoughts and activities and cope with decision fatigue, drama, and destructive self-talk, you’ll find yourself powering through your priorities with more ease, more presence, and more left for the people and passions that matter most.

Additional Resources

Drama Detox: How to Reduce Emotionality on Your Team

How to Boost Your Energy Levels

Leaders Do Not Understand Prioritization

 

The post The Other Side of Energy Management: Stop the Drains appeared first on Liane Davey.

 

In your world, you might talk about physical health and safety all the time. Psychological safety is the same thing, “Do I feel free from harm in the workplace?” But this is another notion where we need a great reset. We need a course correct on it.

There is a kind of behavior in the workplace that’s associated with the fear of being harmed psychologically, and that’s a huge problem. Being screamed at, being belittled, being ostracized, being threatened, expressions like one throat to choke, for example, are things that if you lead people, you need to take 100% responsibility for making sure that people can walk into the workplace every day knowing they will be free of being psychologically harmed. That’s 100% all on management.

Individual Responsibility in Psychological Safety

But one of the problems—when I read LinkedIn and talk with friends about the workplace—is I hear people talking about feeling unsafe in ways that I’m like, “Hmm, okay, that’s not your colleagues and that’s not your boss, that’s you.” Imposter phenomenon, perfectionism, fear of conflict, needing to be liked. These are people telling themselves stories about, “Well, I can’t say that, I’d be fired,” with no evidence that anyone had ever been fired for saying anything like that.

And here’s the problem: every single one of you needs to take ownership of the psychological fear in your own head. You own that. Your boss can’t fix that for you. Even if they wanted to, they can’t fix it for you. You own that. You own the conversations going on in your head. That’s 100% percent on you as an individual.

Discomfort vs. Danger

Where it gets juicy is in this middle category, which is—I think the biggest, most important conversation we all need to be having in our workplaces—do people become afraid at even the least bit of discomfort? The answer right now is yes.

My boss challenged my approach in a meeting, gave me feedback that I didn’t like, “Whoa, my boss doesn’t like me.” Even the language, “I got in trouble today.” What are we, seven?

Does anybody remember “The Price Is Right” range finder game? It looks like a huge thermometer. When contestants think the price of the prize is within the red window, they press a button to stop the range finder. When it comes to discomfort that we can handle without feeling unsafe, the range finder right now is knee-high, boys and girls. It’s down low. We’re getting triggered by anything. We’re jumping to the conclusion that we’re in trouble or our colleagues don’t like us.

Our job is to have experiences that allow us to move that range finder up. Where we’re able to have uncomfortable experiences that still feel safe, “I’m not loving this, but at least I know we can go for a coffee after. This is going to actually enhance the respect among us, not decrease it. I’m going to be in a better position after this hard conversation, not worse.” This involves asking for people to disagree with us, “Okay, this is the plan. This is how we’re thinking about this event. What have I missed?”

Creating Safe Spaces for Disagreement

I’ll give you three questions I love. If you know the design thinking method, they use three questions that are great for getting people to disagree in a way that feels safe.

The first question is, what do you love about this plan? What do you love about this event agenda? What do you love about this activation?

The second question is what do you wish? And it’s interesting—I should do an actual study on this—but when I ask people, can you give me some constructive feedback about the plan? They respond, “Eh.” When I ask, what do you wish, they’re like, “Well, I wish this and I wish this.” Asking this question is a psychologically safe way of sharing what could be different. Use “I wish.”

Third question: What do you wonder? Wonder is where we can talk about, “Hmm, I wonder how this is going to work for people who are used to going to New York and Boston only.” I wonder. I bet you wondered that too, right? “I wonder if we’ll get Winter Symposium participation rates if we’re going to Philly?” The answer is yes, yes, yes!

I love “What do you love? What do you wish? What do you wonder?” These are psychologically safe ways of inviting dissent. And then, when someone says something that’s upsetting, when someone says something that you’re, “Just be authentic about it,” it will make it safe to struggle for you, too, right? And you do that. You do that by saying, “Oh, that’s hard to hear.”

It’s okay to say that in the workplace. “That’s hard to hear. I was kind of hoping that this plan was already across the line. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to work on this on the weekend.”  It’s okay to be authentic, but then say, “Thank you so much for raising that ’cause we do need to deal with that.”

Move that range finder. The people who disagree, the people who are willing to have uncomfortable experiences, they become the stars.

The post Psychological Safety Needs a Great Reset appeared first on Liane Davey.

Does your energy run out long before your to-do list? Are you exhausted and uninspired by 3 p.m.? Does your family get the spent, hollow version of you every evening because you’ve left it all on the field at work? That sucks. Let’s figure out how to make your energy last all day.

Start Strong

If you want to have a great day, it helps to start off well. Consider these opportunities to create momentum early in your day.

Morning Routines and Rituals

Choose deliberate, mindful practices in your morning routine. I know, I know, if you’re not a morning person, the last thing you want to be in the morning is mindful—you’re just happy to be conscious. I promise that finding a ritual will ease the transition from sleepy head to spark plug. Pick something that you will do the same way every day, with great care and attention, to tap into inner strength. It could be making a latte with foam art, doing a sun salutation on the porch, or speaking to each of your plants as you water them—no wrong answers.

Focus and Prioritization

Another way to get a boost of energy at the start of your day is to determine your focus and order your priorities. Knowing what’s most important and reminding yourself what needs to wait means you start your day with a quest, and you’re less likely to drain your energy on less important tasks.

First Burst

Decide what you’re going to work on first, before the notifications start piling up, before anyone has a chance to change your priorities. Capitalize on your first block of time to do some deep work. If, by ten o’clock, you’ve already accomplished something meaningful, you’ll feel much better. If, instead, all you’ve done by ten is respond to emails and listen to your colleague gossip and moan, you’ll be feeling spent when the day has barely begun.

Refresh Regularly

One ironic problem with protecting your energy is that a really great start to your day can be as much of an issue as a poor one. If the juices are flowing, you might be tempted to just keep going, surfing the wave for as long as it lasts. While that’s probably alright for an extra forty-five minutes to an hour, going much longer will leave you tapped out and make it harder to muster your energy for the rest of the day. Instead, give yourself a break to ensure you can keep going.

Move It or Lose It

Set an alarm and move your body for five minutes each hour. Your frontal lobe needs oxygen, and getting your blood pumping can really help. If you really can’t stop working, take a ten-minute brisk walk with a colleague to align on a plan or surface an issue.

Refuel

Hydrate and eat food that will provide continuous energy. Pack your desk with good snacks so they’re the easiest thing to reach for. A square of Lindt Madagascar 70% chocolate with a cup of organic pekoe tea starts my afternoon at 1 p.m. Then, at 3, I turn to the mason jar with my own nut mix with just the good stuff (finding a macadamia nut makes me downright giddy)

Switch it Up

One of the techniques that’s overlooked in energy management is changing gears. That might mean changing what you’re working on, or it might mean changing how you’re working on it. When I get stuck in my writing, I’ll switch to a different mode. Sometimes, I’ll grab a blank piece of paper and create a mind map of the topic. Other times, I’ll start wandering around the kitchen riffing on the idea into my voice recorder. Getting stuck sucks the energy right out of you, so switch gears before you feel stuck.

Use Low Power Mode

No matter how much you’ve charged your batteries at the start of the day, there comes a time when your body and mind naturally need a break. Rather than giving in completely (although I’m a fan of a 20-minute power nap when things get bleak), have some low-power mode activities ready to go.

Recovery Work

Keep a list of worthwhile tasks to do when your creativity or attention wanes. For me, it’s travel booking, invoicing, or responding to LinkedIn comments. Those are all things I need to do, but they don’t require much creativity or energy. What’s on your low-power list?

AI Inspiration

When I am trying to pump out work during a low-energy phase, I use AI to inspire me. I tell it what I’m trying to do and ask for suggestions or lists of things I could try. It’s funny, but sometimes the answers are so bad that I get energized by how ridiculous they are. The resulting rant gets me fired up for a good hour!

Plug In

Plan for times in your day when you’ll recharge your batteries by tapping into your natural energizers. Most people are energized by either connection, physical activity, competition, or planning. If you’re a connection person, grab a coffee with a colleague and hash out an opportunity. If physical activity is your jam, slot in a walk or a midday workout. You know what will give you a boost, I’m just giving you permission to do it during the workday.

End Well

The next stage is critical because the proper ending to your work day is the right beginning to your evening.

Close the Loop

As much as possible, finish tasks, hit send, and then reflect to feel a sense of accomplishment. When you’re working on things that you can’t finish at the end of the day, see if you can complete a section or get your part sent off so the ball isn’t in your court.

Set It Up

Another valuable use of a few minutes at the end of the day is to collect your thoughts about what you need to do tomorrow. If you don’t do this, you’re more likely to have intrusive thoughts all evening about things you need to remember. Reduce your thoughtload in the evening by lining things up for tomorrow.

Build a Buffer

Finally, create a buffer to minimize the spillover between work stress and home life. If you have a commute, choose entertainment that helps you disconnect from your daily routine. If you’re working at home, block at least ten minutes to transition out of work mode and into life mode. Go outside and re-enter your house as your home, rather than your office. Or pull a Mr. Rogers and change into your comfy cardigan.

Second Surge

Finally, ensure you’ve got the energy for the people who matter most.

Mind the Gap

We’ve talked about creating a buffer by inserting activities and inputs between work and home; now, you also need to establish a psychological boundary. Remind yourself where you are and how your presence and energy matter. Decide how you want to show up for friends and family.

Invest in Yourself

One of the most challenging things to do when you have a busy job and a hectic family life is to make time for activities or hobbies that recharge your batteries. Where is it supposed to fit between meal prep, kids’ homework help, and driving to soccer practice? But your own activities are not an indulgence, they’re an investment in your energy.

Rest and Reset

And the most important thing you can do to give yourself the best chance of having the energy it will take to get through tomorrow is to prioritize rest and sufficient, quality sleep. Figure out your wind-down routine that slowly lowers your blood pressure and quiets the volume of your inner voice. This is another excellent place to add a bedtime ritual to make sleep more sacred.

When you manage your energy deliberately, there’s enough to go around.

Additional Resources

How to Make Your Energy Last All Day

Practical Advice About How to Prioritize Your Workload

The joy project

 

The post Energy Management: Rituals, Routines, and Refills That Work appeared first on Liane Davey.

It’s 11:12 a.m. You’ve already crushed your inbox, sat through one too many meetings, and your to-do list still looks untouched. Sound familiar?

For professionals, energy isn’t just about stamina—it’s about staying sharp, motivated, and emotionally steady across a full-contact day. It takes a considerable amount of physical, mental, and emotional energy to get through your day. And you want to have something left for when you get home.

The good news? Energy isn’t a fixed asset. It’s renewable, manageable, and surprisingly within your control—if you know how to work with your natural rhythms.

Energy Requires Rhythm

Let’s set the record straight: high performers don’t power through from dawn to dusk. They pulse. The most effective professionals follow a rhythm: focus, recover, refocus. Struggle, rest, struggle. Think cadence, not chaos.

Energy management is about toggling:

Sprint, then rest.Focus, then release.Push, then pause.

If you want consistent, reliable energy throughout your day, you’ll need to work with your body’s natural cycles—not against them.

Where Energy Comes FromPhysical Energy

Your body’s energy comes from the basics: oxygen, glucose, hydration, and regular movement. It’s not rocket science, but it’s easy to overlook. You’ve also got systems that can supercharge you when you need a boost of energy to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn, but you don’t want to be relying on adrenaline very often. When you’re fueled well, you perform better. When you skip meals, run on caffeine, and sit for hours, you crash.

Audit:

Are you fueling consistently or skipping and spiking?Are you hydrating throughout the day?Could a 5-minute walk between meetings help reset your system?

Small shifts—like a handful of almonds at 3 p.m. or a stretch break before your next call—can create meaningful boosts.

Mental Energy

Your brain runs on glucose, too—especially your prefrontal cortex, the part doing the heavy lifting on problem-solving, planning, and self-control. But it has limits. You get about 45–60 minutes of sharp focus before the system flags. After that, your thinking dulls, and your decisions get lazier. You often default to a habit or the easiest option instead of searching for the best answer.

Audit:

Are you trying to push through 3-hour blocks without breaks?Can you schedule a 5-minute “mental pit stop” to reset?

Try segmenting your day into 45-minute sprints followed by short renewals. It’s not indulgence—it’s smart energy economics.

Emotional Energy

This one’s often underestimated. Motivation—whether intrinsic or extrinsic—drives your willingness to keep going. When your work feels meaningful, energizing, or even just appreciated, you get a lift. When it feels pointless or performative, you droop.

Audit:

Do you see the connection between what you’re doing and what matters to you?Can you remind yourself of the “why” behind the task?

Aligning your work with your values—or at least reframing it that way—can make even tedious tasks feel a little lighter.

What Drains Your EnergyPhysical Drains

Obvious drains: skipped meals, dehydration, or poor sleep. But here’s the one that might be most applicable—being sedentary. Long periods without movement signal your body to downshift. Ironically, the more inactive you are, the more tired you feel.

Audit:

Where are the energy dead zones in your day?Can you incorporate hydration, snacks, or a quick body break?

It’s not about running marathons—it’s about not flatlining.

Mental Drains

Cognitive overload, decision fatigue, and constant multitasking drain your mental battery. Each switch costs more than you think because it fractures your attention rather than letting it flow.

Audit:

Where are you scattering your focus with unnecessary multitasking?Can you reduce your decision load by batching tasks or setting simple defaults?

Protecting your attention is one of the highest-yield strategies for sustaining energy.

Emotional Drains

Emotional labor is real. Leading with empathy, masking frustration, or absorbing conflict all sap energy. So does social pain—like being undervalued, excluded, or micromanaged.

Audit:

Are there relationships or interactions that consistently drain you?Can you limit exposure to gossip, venting, or toxic dynamics?Can you repair key tensions to free up emotional bandwidth?

Sometimes the fix is structural. Other times, it’s about boundaries.

Don’t Always Trust the Low Fuel Light

Here’s a fun fact: your brain plays it safe. It throws up low-energy signals well before you’re actually spent. It’s your body’s version of “let’s not risk it.” But you probably have more in the tank—especially if you switch gears.

That doesn’t mean ignoring the signals. It means interpreting them wisely.

Audit:

Are you truly spent—or just in need of novelty?Can you switch tasks or environments instead of grinding through?

Think of it like having room for dessert, even when you’re full from the main course. A change is as good as a rest—if you use it strategically.

The Energy Equation

Unless you’re unwell, you probably have more energy available than you think. The problem isn’t the fuel—it’s the pacing. Going full throttle from sunup to sundown isn’t sustainable. But managing your energy in rhythms—focus, break, reset—creates endurance, clarity, and resilience.

And perhaps most importantly, it ensures you still have something left for the people and moments that matter after work.

🔄 TL;DR – The Energy Checklist⏱ Work in 45–60 minute sprints. Rest intentionally.🥗 Fuel with purpose. Hydrate often. Move your body.🧠 Protect your focus. Avoid cognitive clutter.❤️ Tap into meaning. Minimize emotional friction.🧭 Don’t over-trust your low fuel light—switch gears before you stall.

Your energy is your most valuable asset. Treat it like it matters.

Additional Resources

Enough about Workload, the Problem is Thoughtload

Enough with Multitasking

From Leanna Lee on Zapier 4 Ways to Manage Your Energy Throughout the Day

The post How to Make Your Energy Last All Day appeared first on Liane Davey.

When I first began this series on drama in the workplace, I invoked Cy Wakeman’s definition of “arguing with reality.”  We talked about all the ways your hapless colleagues might be circling the drain and how you can put in the stopper. Thus far, we haven’t even hinted at one important possibility: maybe you’re the problem. Maybe you’re creating workplace drama. Maybe you’re the one arguing with reality.

Stay with me.

I know it’s unpleasant to consider (because I hate when I catch myself whipping up drama), but it’s worth a reality check occasionally.

Signs You Are Creating Drama

I suspect that you seldom label your own behavior as “creating drama,” but there might be times when the story you’re telling yourself to justify your action is a tad generous. Sure, sometimes your choices might be totally legitimate, but are you willing to consider that sometimes they might be doing more harm than good?

Here are a few examples I often see where the impact of a behavior is not quite as positive, helpful, or justified as you might believe.

1. I Work with Clowns

Your Behavior: You explain the same point over and over because people aren’t agreeing with you.

You Tell Yourself: My colleagues don’t get it, and I need to explain it again because they are being thick. Once they finally understand what I mean, they’ll accept my view of the situation.

Maybe: They don’t get it, and you reiterating the point will give them time to catch up.

Or Maybe: You’re being rigid, and it’s time to consider that your perspective might not be as awesome, all-encompassing, or accurate as you think. Digging in is making people frustrated and causing them to retrench.

2. I’m Defending Truth

Your Behavior: You criticize an idea, a plan, or a comment that is clearly ill thought out.

You Tell Yourself: Someone needs to be brutally honest here.

Maybe: It’s about time for some unvarnished truth to knock folks out of their complacency.

Or Maybe: You’re making your point so aggressively that people are protecting themselves and fighting back rather than learning from your point.

3. I’m Making it Better

Your Behavior: You call “devil’s advocate” and point out all the reasons why a colleague’s plan won’t work.

You Tell Yourself: Having a devil’s advocate improves the quality of our decision-making.

Maybe: You’re the only one with the courage to disagree, and your team is lucky to have you.

Or Maybe: You relish an excuse to be contrarian and shoot down other people’s ideas, and they roll their eyes every time you do.

4. I’m Earning My Keep

Your Behavior: You jump in with multiple suggestions about how your colleagues can improve their work.

You Tell Yourself: I just want what’s best for the company, so I try to make sure everyone’s work is the best it can be.

Maybe: You’re single-handedly protecting and preserving the quality of your team’s work.

Or Maybe: You’re overstepping, playing Dr. Know-it-all, and encouraging drama by making people feel less worthy and starting a pissing contest.

5. I’m Picking My Battles

Your Behavior: You have a major concern about something your teammate said, but you stay quiet.

You Tell Yourself: It wasn’t my place to say anything.

Maybe: You were right to keep your mouth shut because it was just an opinion, and it wasn’t helpful.

Or Maybe: Your face was broadcasting what you were feeling, but you didn’t have the courage to be candid about why, so now everyone is gossiping about what was going on with you in the meeting.

6. I’m Respecting the Boss

Your Behavior: You disagree with the boss about the best way to go, but you don’t say anything.

You Tell Yourself: It’s not safe to speak up in the meeting.

Maybe: It’s a hostile environment where saying something would be a career-limiting move.

Or Maybe: It’s easier and more comfortable to share your concerns with teammates even if you’re setting up an unhealthy dynamic and turning people against your manager.

7. I’m Keeping it Close to My Chest

Your Behavior: You socialize and share information with a select group of people on your team, spending little time and energy on anyone else.

You Tell Yourself: My time is precious, so I’m selective in who I engage with.

Maybe: The person you’re excluding doesn’t need to be involved.

Or Maybe: You’re creating in-groups and out-groups and stoking drama by making people feel like they don’t belong.

8. I’m Protecting Myself

Your Behavior: You withhold information from a teammate, forcing them to learn through others rather than directly from you.

You Tell Yourself: I’m justified in not trusting that person. They did me wrong and never apologized.

Maybe: They are out to get you or steal credit for your work, and you have to be selective about what you share with them.

Or Maybe: You are dwelling on old stories and creating a vicious cycle they can’t escape from.

9. I’m Getting What I Deserve

Your Behavior: You continually vent to your colleagues about how poorly you’re treated.

You Tell Yourself: You deserve to have support, and you’re justified in trying to build a coalition to get it.

Maybe: You are using a constructive approach to create connection with your teammates.

Or Maybe: You’re stuck in a victim mentality and dragging your colleagues into your own negative narrative.

Conclusion & A Question

There are so many ways that your behavior might be triggering, reinforcing, or prolonging drama on your team. Try to view it through everyone else’s eyes and see if there’s a better choice.

What did I miss? What story have you told yourself that was doing more harm than good? How did you rewrite it in a way that improved your team dynamic?

Additional Resources

How to Stop Being Passive-Aggressive

Should you pick your battles? – Part I

How to recover when you feel wronged

 

The post 9 Signs You Might Be Creating Drama on Your Team appeared first on Liane Davey.

We’re talking about drama this month. We began by defining what constitutes drama and considering why being dramatic can be rewarding. Next, we got tactical about what to do when you’re stuck in the middle of two colleagues who are getting into drama. Now, it’s time to get to the brass tacks on how to avoid or at least reverse the downward spiral of emotionality from taking down your team.

Understanding Social Pain

The first thing to be aware of if you want to mitigate drama is the concept of social pain. Social pain is the discomfort that arises when a person gets rejection signals indicating they’re not valued or included by a group. Neurologically, social pain and physical pain share the same neural networks. (Turns out, you really can hurt someone’s feelings.)

Social pain is highly aversive because our desire to belong is a primary survival mechanism. When we get evidence that we’re at risk of being shut out, it can be anxiety-provoking. It’s in these moments that people are likely to become dramatic as they get desperate and turn to ineffective approaches to change people’s opinions of them, protect their self-esteem, or try to build a new coalition to feel connected to.

If this notion of social pain doesn’t resonate for you personally, you might be someone who feels less of it. Just like with physical pain tolerance, different people have different experiences of social pain (and interestingly, physical and social pain tolerances seem to be correlated.) Although you might be relieved that you seldom experience social pain, dismissing it could encourage more drama. Instead, it’s important to empathize and intervene constructively to counteract its effects.

Being aware of the idea of social pain and tuned into the signals of who’s in and out, who belongs and who doesn’t, who’s valued and who’s overlooked will help you to spot moments where you can diffuse the drama before it takes hold.

Reducing Emotionality

There are a variety of strategies you can use to keep the emotional tenor of your team’s conversations below the boiling point.

Build Trust

One of the most important factors in determining whether a colleague’s behavior sets a person into a drama spiral is how much they trust that person. If they have strong trust, they will be more comfortable being vulnerable and less likely to interpret a person’s words or deeds as signs that they don’t belong: more trust, less social pain. You’ve probably seen someone say something to a teammate that caused you to raise an eyebrow, and yet been surprised that it didn’t cause any friction between them.

To increase the likelihood that your colleagues will give one another the benefit of the doubt and not be offended by even the slightest transgression, it is helpful to build trust continually. I’ve written numerous articles on how to build trust. The most comprehensive approaches consider how to enhance connection (so your behavior is more predictable to one another), competence (so others feel more confident), reliability (so they can count on one another’s dependability), and integrity (so they think everyone’s motives are genuine).

Building trust reduces drama from the source.

Avoid Us and Them

One of the most common sources of drama is when a colleague believes they’re excluded from the in-group or the inner circle, feeling like they’re a “they,” not a “we.” Be on the lookout for behaviors and statements that could be interpreted as signs someone is being excluded, and try to counteract them.

That might mean you sit beside different people at each meeting rather than getting closer or more comfortable with a subgroup on your team. Alternatively, it might mean adding someone’s name to a list if others hadn’t included them. “Yup, I’m happy to be part of the subteam that works on this. It would be great if we also had Mary, so we get a view from Finance as well.”

Translate Emotions

Another way you can help divert drama is to translate people’s emotional or overly dramatic statements, which often reflect their social pain, into more objective statements of fact. If a colleague claims that “Steve hates me and never supports my ideas.” You can help them by validating their reaction and assisting them in testing whether the story they’re telling themselves is accurate or helpful. For example, you could say, “I hear that you feel like Steve is not onside. What did he say in the meeting today? What might he be concerned about?” “How could you address his concerns?”

When emotions have a safe outlet and people have support to process their feelings and come up with a constructive action, they’re much less likely to get stuck in an emotional doom loop.

Shut Down Gossip

Another key commitment to reducing emotionality on your team is to have a zero-gossip policy. For me, gossip is complaining about someone who isn’t present. If you want to downplay drama, you need to eliminate gossip because it’s your colleague’s attempt to create factions and to lure you into joining their side. If you bite, you reward them for the drama.

The alternatives are:

Let them vent. I consider it venting if the person is describing their unpleasant experiences and sharing the narratives they’ve created, without focusing on the other person (who isn’t present). They can tell you how they feel, what they’re thinking, and how they interpreted someone else’s actions. That’s allowed. (For a few minutes. After that, even venting becomes drama.)Help them reframe. If they’re sharing an interpretation of the situation that allows them to justify their drama, it’s okay to ask questions to help them reframe it. “What else might she have meant?” “What might explain why he feels that way?” “How did your words contribute to that dynamic?”Coach them to act. Instead of letting someone gossip to you, ask them to role-play how they would address the issue directly with the person. Listen to what they plan to say and share your feedback on how you think it might land.Support a Constructive Outlet. If you learn that there’s something legitimately nefarious going on, you can support your teammate in finding an effective path to address the situation. For example, if the person is upset that a decision was made without their input, you could offer to speak with the boss about getting it on the agenda. Alternatively, you could offer to accompany your colleague to speak with HR to report the inappropriate behavior.

Drama often begins when people interpret their teammates’ words and deeds as signs that they are not respected, not liked, or not included. You can reduce the frequency and severity of drama by intervening to strengthen connection, reduce miscommunication or misinterpretation, or encourage an action that will break the drama doom loop. Don’t just sit back while drama brings your team down; there’s a lot you can do to reduce emotionality and get your team back on track.

Additional Resources

Become a Pro at Dealing With Emotions in the Workplace

Rising Emotions and the Risk of Emotional Contagion on Teams

Reduce the Impact of Emotional Contagion

The post Drama Detox: How to Reduce Emotionality on Your Team appeared first on Liane Davey.

It’s bad enough when you have to witness drama among your teammates, but when you get trapped in between them, it can be maddening, messy, and mind-numbing. Suddenly, their problem becomes yours, and somehow it puts your relationships and your sanity in jeopardy. Here are some strategies to navigate drama between your teammates.

Before we get into solutions, let’s talk about why this scenario is so aversive and why it’s important for you to actively manage your way out of it.

The Costs and Risks of Being in the Middle

Some significant costs and risks come with putting yourself between two emotionally warring colleagues.

Dissonance and Doubt

When you’re called on to take sides, it can challenge your loyalties and values, creating dissonance. That discomfort might come from contradictory thoughts and feelings, such as liking your colleague while being disappointed in how they’re handling a situation, or agreeing with what one of your teammates is saying but not with how they’re saying it.

We don’t like feeling dissonance, and can be highly motivated to reduce it. That might mean you compromise your beliefs to make it easier to support one position or the other. The result of feeling pulled in two directions can be self-doubt, indecision, or anxiety—none of which is something you want to deal with.

Emotional Labor

Not only does being sandwiched in drama create a challenging intellectual problem of whose side to take or how to shepherd both parties toward a solution, it’s also a heavy emotional burden if you have to console, commiserate, or counsel both people. Plus, you’re susceptible to emotional contagion, which means you might end up experiencing the same negative emotions as your colleagues without even realizing their drama is transferring to you.

Social Exclusion

Another weighty risk you take when you get in the middle of other people’s drama is that you risk alienating both of them (and maybe even drawing the ire of other neutral parties for getting involved). How you navigate these delicate situations will affect your relationships and your reputation for a long time to come—all the more reason to be deliberate about how you behave when you’re stuck in the middle.

How to Manage from the Middle

If you’ve got the energy for it, you’re in a position to help your teammates move beyond their grievances, through the conflict, and to a sustainable resolution. Try this…

Process the Emotions

process their emotions. And I use the word “process” intentionally because it’s different from trying to suppress, dispel, or change their emotions. You help them process their emotions by making it feel safe for them to acknowledge what they’re experiencing, by asking open-ended questions to allow them to uncover the root of those emotions, by offering alternative frames or storylines that might help them take a more constructive view, and by prompting them toward an action that might make things better.

Each of these steps could be a post in itself, so let me know in the comments if you want more details on how to do any of those things.

Broker Communication

When I work with a struggling team, one of the most beneficial roles I play is communications broker. That includes encouraging people to make their points more clearly or succinctly, stopping people from launching into their own thoughts before acknowledging and validating those of their teammates, and pointing out where they seem misaligned regarding how they’re defining certain words or concepts.

A considerable amount of drama comes from team members who do a poor job of articulating what they’re thinking or feeling and what they want as a potential remedy. The more emotional they become, the harder it is for them to express themselves and to listen to what the other person is saying and meaning.

You can alleviate so many issues by improving the fidelity of the conversation. You can use lines like:

If I heard you right, you’re saying…

It sounds like the most important thing to you is…

Did Bob paraphrase you correctly, or did you mean something different…

Can we back up for a second? What does “being collaborative” mean to you?

It sounds like you’re trying to solve two different problems rather than disagreeing on the right solution to a single problem. Is that fair?

Model Productive Conflict

Another great opportunity to dispel the drama is showing your teammates the high road to resolve their conflict. You can do that in a variety of ways:

Validate what each person says by paraphrasing and making them feel heard and understoodListen to more than just the information they’re sharing; listen more deeply to the emotions, and especially the values and beliefs underlying them.Expose the most fundamental issues so they know what the dispute is about and what would be necessary to remedy it.

One specific technique that might be valuable is “Two Truths.” This is helpful in the common situation where your teammates are upset about very different issues; you can help them articulate their concerns and then consider solutions to both problems.

For example, if there’s drama because one person has failed to deliver work on time three times in a row and the disappointed teammate has now gossiped to everyone on the team about the delinquent teammate, you might say. “Okay, it sounds like there are two issues to resolve. First, we need to figure out how Denise can get the work submitted on time, and second, we need to agree to Stewart talking directly with Denise and not with others on the team when there’s a concern. How could you move forward on these two issues?”

Get Out of the Way

Staying in the middle of drama for too long can lead to all the problems we talked about at the start. You don’t want to risk that. When you’ve done your best to shepherd your teammates through their drama and on to a more constructive conversation, even if they haven’t reconciled, it might be time to extricate yourself from the situation.

Protect Your Boundaries

While brokering peace between two colleagues stuck in drama, know and enforce your boundaries. You might have boundaries for how much time you’re willing to devote to it. In that case, let them know that you have 15 minutes and then you’re going to go back to work. Alternatively, you might have boundaries regarding what you are and aren’t comfortable with them discussing. You might say that you’re fine with either one of them talking privately with you about their own feelings, but that you won’t talk about the other person unless they’re present.

Enforcing your own healthy boundaries is another form of positive role modeling. It’s a constructive way of managing uncomfortable situations at work rather than devolving into drama.

Resync with Others

It’s difficult to marinate in other people’s drama without becoming exhausted and even disillusioned yourself. If you’ve been spending time with Debbie and Donny Drama, prioritize spending time with colleagues who will shift your mood and remind you that people can be kind and reasonable. Don’t make the mistake of using your time with your other colleagues to complain about the drama; that just perpetuates it. Instead, start with questions that evoke fun, positive, and inspiring conversation, like “What’s the most promising thing you’re working on?” “Any trips planned for you this year?” or “What’s the coolest thing you’ve read about an innovation lately?”

Plan for the Future

If you give yourself some space from the drama, you might be able to see some of the things that led up to the problem. In that case, can you recommend changes that will decrease the likelihood that you end up in the same place again? That might mean doing a better job of setting expectations up front so people are clear what they’re responsible for and less likely to point fingers later. In contrast, it might require that two people aren’t staffed on the same team, or that one person doesn’t work on projects with tight timelines. What have you learned, and how can you change the trajectory for the future?

Emotions at work are normal, but when people fail to process their emotions and let them devolve into destructive feelings, nasty narratives, and debilitating drama, you’ve got a problem on your hands. It’s not yours to own, but there’s a lot of good you can do if you’re willing to help them find a way through it.

Additional Resources

Should you mind your own business?

Workplace Empathy

From Amy Gallo, How to Navigate Conflict with a Coworker

 

 

The post Stuck in the Middle: Navigating Drama Between Your Teammates appeared first on Liane Davey.