Frank Healy's Blog - Posts Tagged "assertiveness"
How To Not Finish Last If You Are A Nice Guy Or Gal
Many people believe that all that you need to succeed in life is to work hard, do what people tell you, and be nice. Unfortunately that is not all you need. It helps, but many people seem to hear the word no often for jobs, promotions, and relationships. They are usually nice hard-working people, but they just don't get ahead and it is frustrating and heartbreaking.
Being nice helps people like you, but it does not necessarily mean that people will want to befriend you, be your lover, or have confidence that you will get the job done. Many people want more than niceness when they are looking for people to associate with. People want to feel important. There are ways to do this without becoming arrogant. One way is to look attentive and listen. Look them straight in the eye but look confident and relaxed at the same time. If you have a similar interest, talk to them about it. When you talk strike an even balance between sharing what you know and listening to them. When you do this they will feel that they have met someone who is as smart as they are and it makes them feel intelligent.
Unfortunately there are consequences to being nice without treating the other as important. If you don't help them they will find a way to make themselves feel important at your cost. This can take the form of avoiding you and saying they're nice but I am just not comfortable with that person. At its worst you will be the one that gets ridiculed and bullied because that gives certain people the satisfaction of feeling better than you.
It is important to look confident and seem that you know what you are doing. People feel confident and important when they are with someone who is confident. Being confident includes expressing your opinion even if the other disagrees. People get bored with someone who is always agreeable. There is a popular expression "Spirited Debate" where people have a debate about an issue and enjoy the banter.
I do not mean to imply that people are selfish and just want to have their egos stroked. However, this is a big part of having success with people and the world. People who are more nurturing tend to seek others who seem needy, and people who have no tact tend to go to nice people who will tolerate them. However, if you have confidence and be yourself you will fare well in the relationship and business world.
If you are a nice hard working person who seems to never get ahead. This article will give you tools to apply to your work and relationships. It is a realistic look at the skills needed to navigate your way through the business and relationship world.
My website is www.phenomenalmemory.com
The Ultimate Guide To Healing Your PastFrank Healy
Being nice helps people like you, but it does not necessarily mean that people will want to befriend you, be your lover, or have confidence that you will get the job done. Many people want more than niceness when they are looking for people to associate with. People want to feel important. There are ways to do this without becoming arrogant. One way is to look attentive and listen. Look them straight in the eye but look confident and relaxed at the same time. If you have a similar interest, talk to them about it. When you talk strike an even balance between sharing what you know and listening to them. When you do this they will feel that they have met someone who is as smart as they are and it makes them feel intelligent.
Unfortunately there are consequences to being nice without treating the other as important. If you don't help them they will find a way to make themselves feel important at your cost. This can take the form of avoiding you and saying they're nice but I am just not comfortable with that person. At its worst you will be the one that gets ridiculed and bullied because that gives certain people the satisfaction of feeling better than you.
It is important to look confident and seem that you know what you are doing. People feel confident and important when they are with someone who is confident. Being confident includes expressing your opinion even if the other disagrees. People get bored with someone who is always agreeable. There is a popular expression "Spirited Debate" where people have a debate about an issue and enjoy the banter.
I do not mean to imply that people are selfish and just want to have their egos stroked. However, this is a big part of having success with people and the world. People who are more nurturing tend to seek others who seem needy, and people who have no tact tend to go to nice people who will tolerate them. However, if you have confidence and be yourself you will fare well in the relationship and business world.
If you are a nice hard working person who seems to never get ahead. This article will give you tools to apply to your work and relationships. It is a realistic look at the skills needed to navigate your way through the business and relationship world.
My website is www.phenomenalmemory.com
The Ultimate Guide To Healing Your PastFrank Healy
