John H. Carroll's Blog

“Pinghavn”, Book 4 of the Crazed Trilogy is available for Pre-Order on all stores not named Amazon! The official release date is September 15, at which point it will also be published on Amazon.



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Ahh, the glories of rescuing a damsel in distress! At least that’s how the bards spin a story. The reality is that there is a lot of journey involved before the damsel is even found. It can be quite stressful really.
A group of powerful and opinionated individuals are on such a stressful journey. That would be fine if they could all just get along and agree. However, that isn’t likely to happen. Distrust and suspicion while stuck in close quarters aboard a ship cast doubt upon the success of their mission.
Liselle is tired of being trapped on board a ship of her own. With her powers suppressed, she is only human now and that is far more disappointing than she had ever imagined. With each day it seems her captors are more determined to give up on her and possibly end her life.
Meanwhile, the threat of Tyeromaythan, Devourer of Gods and his Black Scale Guild loom over them all.
Join our adventurers in their angst as they sail the oceans, sit on laps and band together to make a mess of things.
The Crazed Series is the continuation of the Wyvern and Willden Trilogies. Beings of great power manipulate the world, sometimes to the benefit of mere mortals, but more often to their detriment. Join the odd and often unwilling heroes of Ryallon as they face threats to humanity.

"Liselle", Book 1 of the Crazed Series was written back in 2013. It's been far too long since she was left in a difficult position. I'm pretty sure if she were to meet me in real life I'd be in a heap of trouble. I _have_ noticed flowers glaring at me lately.

Pelya, Tathan and others show up in this series as well!

"Bounty", book 2 was released last year. And now "Augury", book 3 is available. Links for both books are below along with links for Liselle too.

The first draft of book 4 is written and undergoing a thorough editing process. I don't have a name for it yet, but hope to soon!

The Crazed Series is the continuation of the Willden and Wyvern Trilogies. Beings of great power manipulate the world, sometimes to the benefit of mere mortals, but more often to their detriment. Join the odd and often unwilling heroes of Ryallon as they face threats to humanity.

I hope you enjoy these books!

All my best,

John H. Carroll


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I hope you enjoy these and others available at your favorite online bookstores.

All my best,

John H. Carroll

Merry Christmas
Normally I read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" to my kids on Christmas Eve. However, I was exhausted last night and went to bed before doing so. I woke up Christmas morning, realized my error and felt terrible. Now the good news is that I'm a writer, so why not make use of my talent (I use that word loosely) and create something special to make up for it.  So . . . here goes . . . 
Twas the Day After the Night Before Christmas Copyright 2019 John H. CarrollAll Rights Reserved


'Twas the day after the night before Christmas, when all through the apartmentMost of the creatures were stirring, except the elephant; (I couldn’t afford one of those)The stockings were hung on the wall before the kids awoke,Knowing that their dad was totally broke;
The children struggled to get out of their beds,Forgetting that visions of sugar-plums had danced in their heads;And mamma isn’t here anymore, and I’m just their pap,Who’s ready for another long winter's nap, (jeez I’m tired)
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,I struggled up from the couch to see what was the matter,Away to the window I bumbled, unlike flash,Accidentally tore off a blind and slid open the sash. (I looked up what a sash was and our window has one)
The sun on the breast of the days-old snow, (this always sounds so dirty)Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, (because it is midday)When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,But a dude walking his dog dressed up like a reindeer, (I’m not telling whether the dude or the dog was dressed up)
When an idiot driver, so lively and quick,Sped down our residential road like a total prick.More rapid than eagles his street racer came,And I whistled, and shouted, and called him by name;
"Now, Cretin! now Dumbass! now Wanker! and Dipstick!You Ninny! You Dotard! You Fopdoodle and bootlick!To the end of the street! Right into a wall!Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,I heaved a great gusty sigh,So back to the couch I stumbled with much ballyhoo,Tripping over toys, and St. Nicholas too. (Why in the world is he asleep under my tree? There wasn’t that much whisky in the eggnog I left for him)
And then in a twinkling, I heard from the apartment above,The prancing and dancing of children and animals and the elephant they couldafford  . . . and a dove. (Apparently this poem has to rhyme, so whatevs)As I rose my hand, flipped them off, and was turning around,Up popped St. Nicholas right off the ground.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,And his clothes were all tarnished with cookie crumbs and soot;A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, Wait, is that my PS4 in his sack?
His bloodshot eyes -- how they twinkled! his meth scars how merry!His diseased cheeks were like roses, his twisted nose like a cherry!His droll little lips were cracked and most his teeth were gone,And the beard on his chin was scraggly as a leprechaun; (rhymes are hard)
The stump of a joint he held tight in his teeth,And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; (Hey! This is a no-smoking apartment!)He had a sunken face and an emaciated belly,That rumbled, needing a sandwich of peanut butter and jelly.
He wasn’t Saint Nick, not a right jolly old elf,And I growled when I saw him, quite beside myself;A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his escape,Stole all the stockings; then turned like an ape,And laying his finger aside of his nose,And flipping the bird, out the window he chose;
He sprang to his car, to his crew gave a whistle,And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.But ere he drove out of sight, I heard him drawl,HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ME, AND TO ME A GOOD HAUL!



Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.

All my best,
John H. Carroll

Rojuun, My first Book



Book 1 of the Willden Trilogy
Book 4 of the Ryallon Series
FREE! Print: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1475268254Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/31154?ref=johnhcarrollAmazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004TXS0DIApple: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/rojuun/id409277486?mt=11B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/rojuun-john-h-carroll/1029147189Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/rojuun-1
9 years of writing

9 years ago today, I published my first book, Rojuun. I was 40 and decided it was time I got off my behind to accomplish one of my life's goals.  It's been a long, enjoyable journey.  Having accomplished as much as I have has given me a sense of satisfaction.

In the last 9 years, I've:
Published 28 original stories and 2 compilations.
Sold over 18,000 copies of my books.
Given away over 435,000 copies of books.
Distributed books to 39 countries.
Written more than 1.5 million words.

Bibliography


Stories for Demented Children:Odd tales of anti-heroes doing their best to survive odd circumstances.
Books 1-5 are found in A Collection of Stories for Demented Children
The Emo Bunny that Should (Illustrated) Zachary Zombie and the Lost Boy Drippy the Peg Legged Rainbow UnholyCow Attack of the Sugar Plum Fairies
Books 6-10 are found in A Collection of Stories for Demented Children Volume 2
Naughty Nanoworms Phairyphant Zachary Zombie and the Wicked Worm Steampunk Roo Pow the Panda, The Case of the Rainbow Dragon
Novels of Ryallon:
My full-length novels are set in the world of Ryallon.  They are high fantasy with magic, rogues, knights, dragons and flower children.
Dralin Series (Set before the Willden trilogy) Dralin Ebudae Pelya
The Wyvern Series (Parallel to the Willden Trilogy, set in time after the Dralin Trilogy) Wyvern Liquid Cloudswept Sidetracked
Willden Trilogy (Written first) Rojuun Anilyia Kethril
The Crazed Series (All previous series merge here) Liselle Bounty Augury (Coming 2020)To be Determined (Coming 2020)
Stand-alone Novella Rain Glade
Other Stories:
Short stories and a novella that came to me along the way.
Novella Alien Coffee (Sci-fi)
Short Stories Blue Haired Alien Girlfriend (Sci-fi) Test Pilot (Sci-fi) Don’t Ever Change (Horror) The Storage Room in the Grey Void (Surreal)
What the future holds

I've written the 29th book and am on my 30th book, respectively the 13th and 14th of the Ryallon Series.  I need to get further on the 30th to establish consistency between the two.

Lately, the words haven't been there.  Real life has required far more attention than I'd like.  In addition, I mentioned above that I've written 1.5 million words.  I'm a little worn out on writing, and the last couple of years, it's felt like a chore rather than a passion.  I believe it's harmed the quality of my writing.  I'm taking the time to find my passion and motivation and will eventually pick it back up.

That said, I'm looking forward to continuing this journey for many years to come.  I have a million stories left to write.

All my best,

John H. Carroll

“Bounty” is finally available!

Book 2 of the Crazed Series and the 12th book set in the world of Ryallon.  This is a continuation of Tathan's story from the Willden Trilogy.

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Bounty, Crazed Trilogy Book 2I want to give everyone a heads up that this ends in a bit of a cliffhanger, so you may want to wait until I have the next book out later in the year. 

Description

Circumstances force Tathan of the Shadows out of his comfortable lifestyle in the palace of Mayncal. With no other plans, he accepts a job from an old friend that sends him into the Western Kingdoms where bounties on his head make travel a dangerous game.

Obsession of Tathan’s habits and deeds has made one bounty hunter an expert on the infamous rogue. Using deadly magic and an unusual companion, the bounty hunter has set a trap for Tathan that even he will have a difficult time overcoming. But can the bounty hunter survive their own insanity long enough to accomplish the mission?

The cursed fortress town of Coomican was one of the most disturbing places Tathan had ever visited. The Zombie Duke Yabert Matho controls an army of necromancers and undead who keep the corrupt city free from the control of any country. Dangerous and powerful individuals have gathered there to collect on the one who caused them trouble.

Cows once spent their lives chewing cud and mooing casually about things no one cared about. All that has changed. Their greatest hatred in all of Ryallon is the one called Tathan of the Shadows. Will they ruin everyone’s plans?

And what of the flowers?

Join Tathan and enemies in their quest to survive in a world of magic, zombies, cows, a big squirrel and other dangers.

The Crazed Series is the continuation of the Willden and Wyvern Trilogies. Beings of great power manipulate the world, sometimes to the benefit of mere mortals, but more often to their detriment. Join the odd and often unwilling heroes of Ryallon as they face threats to humanity.

Word formatting
I occasionally format books for others so they can publish to Amazon, Smashwords, in print, and to others.  It's rare that anyone sets up their documents to be automatically formatted while they write like I do, so I get a lot of weird formatting issues, none of which relate to the quality of writing, just the way it looks on your eReader.
I had an issue where every time I hit enter on a document I was formatting, it would indent the entire next paragraph instead of the first line.  It changed styles from "Normal".  It took me a couple of hours to figure it out and fix it.  Googling led me to a bunny-load of solutions for other problems, mostly to do with indentation.
The document I'm formatting in this case is "Vanx Malic: The Tome and the Lens" for M.R. Mathias.  You can read the beginning of the series here: The Legend of Vanx Malic: To Kill a Witch  The series is excellent and I highly recommend it.
The problem
You'll see in fig 1 that the new paragraph that I tried to create moves over instead of lining up with the others.  I'm using the "Normal" style edited to fit my book.  However, when I hit enter, it stops using the "Normal" style.  It didn't show me which style it switched to, so I spent a lot of time experimenting how to change it.
fig 1
The highlighted section shows that the entire paragraph was indented 5 spaces to the left.  If you look at the arrows in the ruler at the top, you'll see that the bottom indent is moved to the left of the shaded area instead of lined up with it.
The solution.
To fix this, you need to modify the style you're currently working in. (fig 2)  In this case, we're working in the normal style.  Right click on it and select "Modify"
fig 2
It was here that I discovered the issue in "Style for following paragraph" (fig 3 (I have a sudden craving for figs . . . ))  The style in this case was "Normal Indent", which indents the entire paragraph.
fig 3
I changed that to "Normal" instead of "Normal Indent" and from then on, everything worked the way it was supposed to.
Conclusion
The chances of the average user ever having a problem like this is minuscule.  However, if you do, here's the solution.  This can apply to any style that you may be using in Word, whether it be normal or a heading style.
All my best,
John H. Carroll

Recipe for Pumpkin Pie

There are tons of recipes for pumpkin pie.  There's nothing too far off about this one.  It's a combination of other recipes I've worked with along the way.  I make the pie crust from scratch, but use canned pumpkin.  It's heavy in spices unlike most store bought bland beyond belief pies.



One thing I've learned over the years is the term Season to Taste. It's important to remember when cooking.  If you don't like the recipe the way it is, you are free to change it.  If you don't like the idea of allspice, you can remove it or substitute.  If you don't like ginger, don't add it.

WARNING: There are vastly different qualities of spices. If you get a cheap bargain brand cinnamon and nutmeg, you may want to add a little extra unless you hate flavor. If you get a high quality Saigon cinnamon, you can always cut the amount you add.  Up to you.

Note on spices:  I usually dump in more than I have written down here, but that's just me.

I bake my pies in glass pie pans because I believe it cooks them the most evenly and doesn't interfere with the flavor.

Pie Crust
I made the recipe for pie crust a separate blog post.  You can find it here: http://ryallon.blogspot.com/2017/12/recipe-pie-crust.html

Pie filling Ingredients
(This is for a single pie, I usually double to make 2 pies)

1. Pumpkin: 15oz or 16oz can (alternatively, you can scrape out and puree a real pumpkin if you're a purist or a masochist)
2. Sugar: 2/3 cup
3. Cinnamon: 1tbsp
4. Nutmeg: 1tsp
5. Ginger: 1/2tsp
6. Cloves: 1/4tsp
7. Allspice: 1/4tsp
8. Pumpkin Pie spice: 1tbsp (Okay, let's be honest here. Pumpkin pie spice is literally all of the above spices in one.  There is absolutely no reason you can't do just pumpkin pie spice, or just the other ingredients. It is redundant to use both.  However, I use both and my pies are awesome, so nyah.)
9. Eggs: 2 large
10. Evaporated Milk: 1 can

Directions 

0. Preheat oven to 400º
1. Combine pumpkin, sugar and spices in a separate bowl.
2. Beat eggs in your primary bowl
3. Fold in pumpkin/spice mix and then beat with a whisk until mixed.
4. Gradually stir in evaporated milk until you have a creamy mix.
5. Pour into pie crust.
6. Cover edges with tinfoil to prevent burning of crust and outer filling.


7. Bake in 400º oven for 50 minutes.
8. Remove foil and bake for another 15-20 minutes until toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean.


Happy eating!

John H. Carroll

Recipe for Pie Crust

There are countless recipes for pie crust.  This one is a slight alteration of the one my mother taught me.   I always make pie crust from scratch.  They taste so much better than anything you can buy from the store.



NOTE: I bake my pies in glass pie pans because I believe it cooks them the most evenly and doesn't interfere with the flavor.

Pie Crust
This is for a single pie crust, I usually double to make 2 pies.  Also, If you have a pie with crust on the top, or latticework crust, double this for 1 pie.

Ingredients

Flour: 2 cups
Salt: 1tsp
Shortening: 1/2 cup
Unsalted Butter: 1/4 cup
(You can do all shortening or all butter, or you can switch the ratios from above.  I like the consistency that shortening adds, but I like the buttery taste.  I've found a combination works best for me.)
Cold Water: 5tbsp

Directions
30 minutes by hand, or 15 minutes with a Kitchenaid mixer

1. Mix flour & salt.
2. Cut in shortening until pea size. (A Merlot 7qt Kitchenaid Chef's Catalog Special
Edition Mixer purchased for $35 at a warehouse sale makes this far easier than using a pair of butter knives. (It's okay to hate me now.))
3. Sprinkle water in 1tbsp at a time.
4. Toss lightly with fork and form dough into a ball.
5. Dust clean surface with flour, flatten dough into pancake shape. Then roll with rolling pin until proper size for pie pan.
6. Roll pie crust onto rolling pin. Place pie pan underneath and unroll crust over pie pan.  Lift edges while gently pushing into bottom corner of pie pan with fingers.
7. Trim edge until a inch of crust is left all the way around.  Fold edge of crust under to create a ridge around the top of the pan.
8. Scallop the edges, using two fingers of each hand next to each other and thumbs in between.  Go around the edge.
9. Add whichever pie filling you like and you're good to go!

Picture of the gorgeous 7qt Merlot Kitchenaid.
Happy eating!

John H. Carroll

Net Neutrality

I'm writing to my congressman about Net Neutrality because I think its removal will harm everyone.

The email sent to Congressman Doug Lamborn

Hello Mr. Lamborn,

This is an open letter that I'm also posting to my blog. ryallon.blogspot.com. I'm writing about the Net Neutrality vote coming up in the FCC.  I'm a writer who's written 28 books (Epic Fantasy and kid's books) and self-published them.  As part of my publishing, I spend vast amounts of time online to market and run other aspects of the self-run business.

While I understand that internet companies such as Comcast state that they need to remain competitive, the reality is that the removal of Net Neutrality will result in fees that penalize high usage.  This will become a struggle for those who have to choose between providing for their family and paying extra for a little more bandwidth.

In this day and age, to get a job, or start a company, you have to have internet access and spend extensive hours online.  Removing Net Neutrality would hurt the people who need it the most.

In addition, the internet has become a way for young minds to learn about the world both socially and academically.  I believe removal of Net Neutrality would stunt that knowledge and hinder advancements in humanity.

This is a time of unprecedented communication in politics and human rights.  The internet is the new means of discussing political beliefs and ideas.  While this appears to be a dumpster fire of an idea right now, I believe it is still vital in the progress of humanity and our understanding of each other.

These are just some of the reasons I ask you to please prevent the FCC from destroying Net Neutrality.

All my best,

John H. Carroll

Recipe for thick chili

This is a recipe that's excellent for Frito pies and chili dogs.  My family loves eating it on spaghetti, which is surprisingly delicious.  You can eat it just the way it is too.



I've taken recipes from multiple sources, my mother, my brother, my mother in law, and refined them into a combination I really like.  When I was growing up, we would have chili every Christmas Eve, so making it and eating it brings back fond memories for me.

One thing I've learned over the years is the term Season to Taste. It's important to remember when cooking.  If you don't like the recipe the way it is, you are free to change it.  If you don't like the idea of chopped celery, you can remove it or substitute.  If you don't like garlic, don't add it, you heathen.  Green and red peppers are an excellent option too.

WARNING: There are vastly different qualities of chili powder out there. If you get a cheap bargain brand, you may want to add a little extra unless you hate anything even remotely spicy. If you get a high quality chili powder made with exotic chilies, you can always cut the amount you add . . . unless you like your face turning red and tears running down your cheeks.  Up to you.

Ingredients
(May be cut in half or doubled for your needs.  May also be frozen if needed)

Butter/Margarine/oil (your choice): 2tbsp
Ground Hamburger, or Vegetarian Substitute: 2lbs
Ranch Style Beans: 5 cans
Stewed Tomatoes: (I prefer the fire roasted version by Hunts)
Chopped Onion: 1 ea
Chopped Celery: 2 stalks (optional)
Minced Garlic: 1 clove or 1tbsp
Minced Jalapeno: 1 small jalapeno (optional)
Chopped Green Onion: 3 stalks (do not saute with other veggies)
Worcestershire Sauce: 4 tbsp
A-1: 3tbsp
Water: 1/2 cup
Chili Powder: 3tbsp
Cumin: 2tbsp
Onion Powder: 1tbsp
Garlic Powder: 1tbsp
Onion Salt: 1tsp
Garlic Salt: 1tsp
Celery Salt: 1tsp



Directions 

1. Saute Onions, Celery, Garlic, Jalapeno in the Butter/Margarine/Oil.
2. Add Hamburger/Substitute and cook until brown.
3. Add beans and crushed tomato. At this time, I add the water, but I put the water in the cans and swirl it around to get all the juices out before adding it to the mix.
4. Add seasonings (Adjust to taste as you prefer), Worcestershire Sauce and A-1
5. Cook on medium heat for 1/2 hour
6. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1-2 hours.

Note:  My family is horrible at waiting until it's done because of how amazing the aroma is.  Technically you can eat after the first 1/2 hour, but chili is better and more flavorful if it's left to simmer.

These are the beans and tomatoes I use.

  

Happy eating!

John H. Carroll