Sanjiv Behera's Blog - Posts Tagged "children"
Fear and Loathing . . .
My two-year-old is in a funk. Call it a phase. Call it a transitional period. Call it what you will. But, he is definitely in a state.
He was once brave, willing to dash into deep swimming-pools without floaties, eager to climb to top shelves without fear of falling, wanting to wrestle any dog that came across his path. But now, he is a quivering scaredy-cat, utterly afraid of…well…everything! Flies, dogs, strangers, the dark, and worse, Elmo.
I understand separation anxiety and the developing mind. But, the sudden change intrigued me enough to look into my son's swelling fear.
It turns out that the aforementioned fears (except for the Elmo part) are quite common in children. One article attributed the rise in childrens' fears during that age to a development of the imagination.
Imagination…that place inside one's mind where anything and everything can exist and happen. I admit that after reading that paper, I was extremely curious to know what kind of imaginative thoughts (if any) floated through my two-year-old's brain. Then it struck me that his older siblings may have had a role in shaping some of his more terrifying notions.
You see, the two-year-old rules the roost in our house. He forbids his three elder siblings from doing anything (coloring, playing with toys, reading, etc.) without his expressed consent. When he disapproves of their behavior, he simply lets out a sharp and shrill scream, a noise that has us all covering our ears in agony. Needless to say, this has caused a bit of loathing among the king's constituency.
One method that the siblings have recently used to taper His Highness' outbursts is to invoke the name of Bhaga Mamoo (literally translated as "tiger uncle"). Bhaga Mamoo is a central villain in many Indian folktales, especially those used by parents to teach their children to behave, much like the wolf in Red Riding Hood. Now, I have told a few Bhaga Mamoo stories in my day, but not enough to scare my children for life. Or so I thought. Imagine my surprise when I first heard our eldest warn the two-year-old that Bhaga Mamoo would come to our home if he screamed again. What's more surprising is that the two-year-old listened! That initial response has elicited a liberal use of Bhaga Mamoo scare tactics by the siblings. "Don't use my crayons or Bhaga Mamoo will get you!" or "Don't go into my room, because Bhaga Mamoo is in there."
My son is yet to hear and comprehend the meaning of a true Bhaga Mamoo story. So what does he think Bhaga Mamoo looks like? (Elmo perhaps?) Does Bhaga Mamoo reside in the dark? What will Bhaga Mamoo do to him if he doesn't behave?
It will be fascinating to watch my son over the next few years, as he tries to get over his fear of Bhaga Mamoo (not to mention flies, strangers, the dark, and Elmo). And while my wife and I have since placed a moratorium on all Bhaga Mamoo references by the siblings, it did get me thinking.
We all have our fears, real and imagined. But, I think, stories from our childhood (like a Bhaga Mamoo story) play an important role in helping us address them.
The stories we hear at a young age introduce us to gallant and terrifying beings, teaching us that both indeed exist. Through them, we are forced to think about how we might act when faced by the likes of a Minotaur, a Rakshasa, the Joker, a Voldemort, or a wicked stepmother. The stories ask if we could live up to the ideals set forth by heroes and heroines like Theseus, Rama, Batman, Harry Potter or Snow White. And if we can't, shouldn't we at least try?
In the end, these stories instill a need to conquer personal fears to achieve a greater good. And, in some sense, doesn't conquering our fears equate to conquering life itself?
Thanks for reading.
- Sanjiv
PS. Check out indiereader.com's review of Vikram... here:
http://indiereader.com/2012/08/vikram...
He was once brave, willing to dash into deep swimming-pools without floaties, eager to climb to top shelves without fear of falling, wanting to wrestle any dog that came across his path. But now, he is a quivering scaredy-cat, utterly afraid of…well…everything! Flies, dogs, strangers, the dark, and worse, Elmo.
I understand separation anxiety and the developing mind. But, the sudden change intrigued me enough to look into my son's swelling fear.
It turns out that the aforementioned fears (except for the Elmo part) are quite common in children. One article attributed the rise in childrens' fears during that age to a development of the imagination.
Imagination…that place inside one's mind where anything and everything can exist and happen. I admit that after reading that paper, I was extremely curious to know what kind of imaginative thoughts (if any) floated through my two-year-old's brain. Then it struck me that his older siblings may have had a role in shaping some of his more terrifying notions.
You see, the two-year-old rules the roost in our house. He forbids his three elder siblings from doing anything (coloring, playing with toys, reading, etc.) without his expressed consent. When he disapproves of their behavior, he simply lets out a sharp and shrill scream, a noise that has us all covering our ears in agony. Needless to say, this has caused a bit of loathing among the king's constituency.
One method that the siblings have recently used to taper His Highness' outbursts is to invoke the name of Bhaga Mamoo (literally translated as "tiger uncle"). Bhaga Mamoo is a central villain in many Indian folktales, especially those used by parents to teach their children to behave, much like the wolf in Red Riding Hood. Now, I have told a few Bhaga Mamoo stories in my day, but not enough to scare my children for life. Or so I thought. Imagine my surprise when I first heard our eldest warn the two-year-old that Bhaga Mamoo would come to our home if he screamed again. What's more surprising is that the two-year-old listened! That initial response has elicited a liberal use of Bhaga Mamoo scare tactics by the siblings. "Don't use my crayons or Bhaga Mamoo will get you!" or "Don't go into my room, because Bhaga Mamoo is in there."
My son is yet to hear and comprehend the meaning of a true Bhaga Mamoo story. So what does he think Bhaga Mamoo looks like? (Elmo perhaps?) Does Bhaga Mamoo reside in the dark? What will Bhaga Mamoo do to him if he doesn't behave?
It will be fascinating to watch my son over the next few years, as he tries to get over his fear of Bhaga Mamoo (not to mention flies, strangers, the dark, and Elmo). And while my wife and I have since placed a moratorium on all Bhaga Mamoo references by the siblings, it did get me thinking.
We all have our fears, real and imagined. But, I think, stories from our childhood (like a Bhaga Mamoo story) play an important role in helping us address them.
The stories we hear at a young age introduce us to gallant and terrifying beings, teaching us that both indeed exist. Through them, we are forced to think about how we might act when faced by the likes of a Minotaur, a Rakshasa, the Joker, a Voldemort, or a wicked stepmother. The stories ask if we could live up to the ideals set forth by heroes and heroines like Theseus, Rama, Batman, Harry Potter or Snow White. And if we can't, shouldn't we at least try?
In the end, these stories instill a need to conquer personal fears to achieve a greater good. And, in some sense, doesn't conquering our fears equate to conquering life itself?
Thanks for reading.
- Sanjiv
PS. Check out indiereader.com's review of Vikram... here:
http://indiereader.com/2012/08/vikram...
