Leo Schulz's Blog - Posts Tagged "sexual-ambiguity"

Cardenio: Days and Nights in the Wilderness is now available in a Kindle edition on Amazon... over 1000 downloads on the first day...

http://www.amazon.com/Cardenio-Nights...

Young and beautiful, Cardenio is drawn into a bizarre sexual journey. Equally attractive to women and men, he is acutely observant but never judges ― and never resists. As an adolescent he dresses in his mother’s clothes, allowing friends and girlfriends, and sometimes their parents, the pleasures of his masculine and feminine bodies. Some love him, others abuse him. At times, he too falls in love, and at times he can be abusive, too. He is expelled from school as his unbounded sexual permissiveness sows chaos among students and teachers. His beauty, freedom and Candide-like goodness lead him into a wilderness of prostitution and pornography, giving himself to gangsters, intellectuals, the curious and obsessive, sports stars, sadists, bikers, the lonely, the lost and the twisted.

The story is set in Auckland in the 1970s and Cardenio’s consuming sexuality is an ironic and conflicted contrast to the oppressive sameness of the suburbs. At the end, retaining his innocence, tired rather than tainted, he finds a redemptive love.

Although episodic, with each episode telling its own story, the characters, settings and themes recur, ultimately creating a unified narrative.

Cardenio: Days and Nights in the Wilderness

(One) Vicky

I was ten when I met Vicky. She was eleven and lived a couple of streets away, on the other side of the market garden. We never went out, not even for a walk. She was small with pale skin and long dark hair. She had pretty lips. Her room was clean and perfectly ordered. We sat for hours on her bed kissing. She would never let me touch her breasts or her crease, or see any part of her undressed. When we were not together we sat for long periods on the telephone, not saying anything.

I wanted to come to see her play netball on a Saturday but she wouldn’t allow it. She said I didn’t understand the game and would not enjoy it. We stopped seeing each other after about six weeks. I was hurt to think she had another boyfriend, someone older who went to her school.

Cardenio: Days and Nights in the Wilderness

Cardenio: Days and Nights in the Wilderness

Two (Sandra)



I was twelve and we were on holiday in the Bay of Islands. A family arrived to stay in the flat next to ours. They had two daughters, one about my age and the other about seven or eight. My first sight of the older girl was when she climbed down from the boat they had in tow. I was struck and could not stop looking at her. She had breasts and hips and thick white-blond hair.

I liked to dress showy. I wore bandanas and fake sunglasses, primary colours, big floral shorts. I didn’t expect her to speak to me or want to spend time together, but she did. Her name was Sandra. One afternoon we went over to a secluded dell near a cliff-top overlooking the ocean. We kissed for a long time. She let me take off her tee-shirt and bikini-top and kiss and fondle her breasts. I tried to feel her crease but she held my arm firm.

When we were walking back to the flats she said: I knew I would like you.

I had never thought that sex would have anything to do with liking someone.




Cardenio: Days and Nights in the Wilderness

Cardenio - Days and Nights in the Wilderness

An Exemplary Novel

Leo Schulz

Three (My Mother)


My parents had jobs and were gone from about eight in the morning until half past six in the evening. I loved to be in the house alone. I took days off school to dress in my mother’s clothes. She had nice things, including a blonde wig. I took great care to dress as close as possible to a real woman. I often wore her pantyhose but she had suspenders and stockings and I liked to wear them too. I stuffed her bra with tissue, wore a petticoat and made myself up as fully as I could, foundation, mascara, eyeliner, lipstick. I tried different dresses and combinations of skirts and blouses. I put on her jewellery, a string of pearls and a gold bracelet.

Once I was dressed I paraded myself in front of the mirror. I imitated the way women walk and look, the way they stand and sit. I imagined men being interested in me, wanting to kiss me and touch me, feeling my breasts and between my legs.

I loved doing this and wanted to have female clothes of my own.

After a time, longing for more sensation, I went to my father’s tool-room and lighted on a wooden-handled wrench. When I had dressed and worked myself up with posing for the mirror, I raised the skirt, bared my buttocks and slowly and firmly penetrated myself with the handle of the wrench.

http://amzn.to/cardenio

Cardenio: Days and Nights in the Wilderness

Cardenio: Days and Nights in the Wilderness






Leo Schulz


Nine (Donna)


In the morning Donna called me into the bathroom and told me to sponge her body. She fondled my sac and my bottom and touched my nipples as I cleaned her. She told me Stewart had liked me and wanted to see me again. I helped her from the bath and rubbed her with a towel. She waited while I dried her in every crevice, opening her legs, raising her arms, letting me dry between her fingers and toes.

She was not tall but her body was athletic, sculpted, her skin lightly tanned, her hair a beautiful walnut brown. Her breasts and bottom were small and firm, her belly flat, her mound and crease waxed clean as glass.

We went to her room and she lay out on the bed. I lighted a stick of incense, put on a tape of the Commodores and sprinkled her with a warm oil. I started on her toes, kissing them, biting, working around each one with my fingers, then the soles of each of her feet. She lay still, her eyes closed, silent. I did her hands, kissing and sucking her fingers, working them with my teeth and hands, then moved on to her legs, her arms, her shoulders. I spent a long time on her back and neck before turning her over to do the front of her body. I stroked her breasts and gently pinched her nipples. I ran my hands down her belly, long, slow, brushing movements.

At the end I pinched and licked her crease, opening it out layer by layer with my tongue, finishing by pulling back the hood at the top and licking her clitoris with the tip of my tongue.
She made no sound and didn’t move, but let me bring her to fulfillment. I knew she was there only by the slightest tremor in her body. It was a strangely non-sexual experience. She was passive but in control. She didn’t touch me. I didn’t get hard and I didn’t expect or desire to climax.

I helped her dress, pulling on her panties, holding up her bra and fixing the hooks, gathering her pantyhose and drawing them up her legs, helping her on with her dress and doing up the zip. I sat on the bed watching while she did her makeup.