Danielle Harel

“Unless you want to bypass the whole issue and pop a pill (which many times doesn’t even work), it is essential that the sex you are having is arousing for you. A much more sustainable way is to figure out and communicate your Core Desires and guide your partner towards your Hottest Sexual Movie. Alex came to us complaining that he could not stay hard during sex with new women he would date. He would get really excited at the thought of having sex with them, however, when the time came, he was unable to get an erection. His biggest complaints were that the women he was dating were very passive. He had to make the first move, the second move, and on and on. It turned out the feeling he wanted to have was being seduced.”
― Danielle Harel, Coming Together: Embracing your Core Desires for Sexual Fulfillment and Long-Term Compatibility

“Another example of highly compatible Core Desires is someone who wants to dominate getting together with someone who wants to feel pleasing or punished. Some dominants get off on the idea that their sub is there to follow their every whim, and a person who wants to feel like they are pleasing will want to do it right for their dom. Other dominants like the idea of taking their submissive to task and some subs want to feel like they are naughty and in need of punishment, thus making them highly compatible.”
― Danielle Harel, Coming Together: Embracing your Core Desires for Sexual Fulfillment and Long-Term Compatibility