Amy Betters-Midtvedt's Blog

A Christmas gift guide for every single person on your list from men to women to your favorite cat! So many fun things here to set you free while you shop. Enjoy!

 

Gift Guide for Men For the music loverToiletry bagTire inflator Car cleaning gelBlue Tooth GlassesMassage GunHeated Vest 

 

 

 

Gift Guide for WomenPlannerNon metal water bottleJewelry boxSlippersGeometry TowelsHeated Gloves 

 

 

 

TeensHeated blanketAwalaThe ClapperTeen girl journalTiny handsNike HoodieleggingsBlue Tooth GlassesJewelry boxNail PolishsocksPortable ChargerFidget PenMagnetic Dart Board 

 

 

Gift Guide for Family

Movie NightFamily Game nightSmore makerGame 

 

 

 

Gift Guide for PetsFountainScratcherFun ToyScratcher toy comboPuzzle ToyStuffie 

 

 

Gift Guide for Book Lover (nonfiction)

 

 

 

 

Soundtracks Anxious GenerationBreaking DadMoms Never Stop…You’re Not a Failure…Everything I Wish I Could Tell You…My bookLifeformA Well Trained WifeGift Guide for the Book Lover (fiction)Here One MomentLouder than HungerAmazing Grace AdamsMarmeeMaameThe Covenant of WaterThe Wedding PeopleBritish BooksellersThe Ministry of Time

I am an Amazon affilate and each purchase you make helps me keep on going and earn a little bit of extra cash! I thank you so much!

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Let’s talk Mother’s Day.

Before you read what I am going to suggest, I need you to know I love my kids. I cherish time with them. But my favorite tradition doesn’t involve them at all. Don’t hate me.

And also know I went through so many versions of Mother’s day before settling on my favorite plan. 

The cold breakfast in bed surrounded by kids as they “help” you eat the food they made. And really you’re OK with it because you’ve legit never saw a bowl of cereal with that much milk in it and you weren’t super hungry for eggshells anyway. 

The mad gift buying and then trying to travel around to celebrate all the moms in your world and being plumb exhausted at the end of the day.

The getting the kids ready for Sunday Mother’s Day mass only to have this process reinforce your suspicion that you have indeed completely run out of patience.

There is beauty in all this I know. As moms, we are so good at finding the joy in the sticky smiles and homemade cards and the blessing over the moms during church. I love those parts with all my soul.

But we moms also know that with this beauty comes the sitting in the middle of an argument about who actually made most of the breakfast.

We also know we might find a kitchen that needs so much cleaning when we walk downstairs.

We know that they lose interest in our day being all about us within roughly 30 minutes and that we are bound to find ourselves yelling, “It’s Mother’s Day FOR THE LOVE. Can you not stop fighting/pick up your stuff/give me 30 minutes of quiet on even MY OWN DAY?”

And the pressure of the day to be perfect would often leave me feeling disappointed and exhausted because of all the expectations. Trying to make it all special while also mothering (or trying to avoid mothering so you can rest…but let’s face it if we are in range of the kids we are mothering no matter how much our husband tries to shield us) can spiral us out of control. As can the waiting for our families to read our minds and make our day perfect for us.

So, my friends, I think I have the answer. My family has settled on the best Mother’s Day tradition and if you can pull off a version of this I swear your day might be filled with the joy you imagine it can be.

Here’s how it works.

First. I am super lucky to have found myself living in the same town as 2 of my 3 sisters and my mom. I know, it’s the best. And every Mother’s Day we take the gift pressure off and have just one gift to buy my mother, a book we think she would love. So the gift pressure is totally kept to a minimum, score.

Second, my sisters and I ditch our families and take my mom shopping, out to eat and sometimes we even throw in a pedicure. I am out of my house with the moms I love the most doing some of the things we love the most. Total win.

Throughout the day we present my mom with her books, she is the star of the show after all, and we also try and be sure and get her an amazing card which she then uses as a bookmark for her Mother’s Day read. The goal, of course, is to make her tear up with the most perfect card. Sibling rivalry without the fighting…another win.

By the end of the day, I return home to my own celebration, or maybe a celebration that also includes my awesome mother-in-law if I’m lucky.

My family has had time to get their acts together, to make some food, to make sure the house is clean-ish and to get all the sibling angst out of their systems.

I am totally filled up and rested after my day away. I am patient. I am able to find the joy. I have a bag filled with TJ Maxx deals to focus on if my kids cannot stop arguing about who sits next to me.

This tradition makes my Mother’s Day predictable (read: easy on our fabulous husbands) and fun. Find that thing that will be the same for you. Then nail it down and call it a tradition. As in “Of course I can’t wait to celebrate with you guys but Carol and I always go to a movie on Mother’s Day. It’s a tradition. See you later!”.

And my friends, maybe the thing that fills you up is being with your kids all day, hats off to you. Go for it.

But if you want to spend your Mother’s Day doing a little something to celebrate you and your favorite moms, a little getaway might be just what the doctor ordered. Carve a little corner of fun for yourself to rejuvenate and reflect on how lucky you are to be a mom in the first place. And a chance to miss my kids always makes me more thankful for them, I’m pretty sure that’s just science.

Don’t be afraid to do you on Mother’s Day…it’s your day, you can own it. Or at least a few hours of it. And the sound of your people yelling, “Mom!” when you walk back in the door will be all the sweeter when you return.

 

The post The Mother’s Day Tradition That’s Saving My Sanity appeared first on Amy Betters-Midtvedt.

I’m so excited to show you all of the AMAZING books my friends have written lately. There is just something special about holding the words of a friend in your hands. I couldn’t be prouder and I’d love for you to help me celebrate and further their success! And I have to tell you there is definitely something for everyone on this list!

I present…

Book My Friends Wrote!If We’re Being Honest by Jennifer Thompson

If We Are Being Honest is not just a book; it’s a guiding beacon that empowers women to break free from the suffocating grip of perfectionism and embrace their true selves.

Do you ever find yourself feeling alone? As if somehow, you’re the only person in the world who can’t seem to get their life together? Women everywhere struggle with feeling as though we’re failing. We shapeshift in and out of our roles as mother, wife, daughter, employee, friend, and volunteer in a desperate attempt to be all and give all… but at what cost?

It’s OK to Embrace Your Body by Danielle Sherman-Lazar

PREORDER May 6, 2024

When Sophia develops a case of the body blues, she isn’t sure what to do…

But with the help of a few special friends, Mommy explains how bodies are beautiful and powerful, and can do amazing things – like moving and jumping and wiggling. Getting body blues is normal, but they shouldn’t stop anyone from doing what they love – in Sophia’s case, getting pool-party ready in her swimsuit!

A fabulous children’s book with an outstanding message!

So God Made a Mother’s Story by Leslie Means

How much do you really know about your mother?

You know her favorite color. You know how she takes her coffee. You know she’d do anything for you. But do you know her story? What did she worry about as she rocked a baby in the middle of the night? What is she proudest of? How does she hope to be remembered? What is her legacy?

So God Made a Mother’s Story is an inspirational guided journal that invites a woman to share her heart–in her own handwriting–with generations to come.

This book is the companion to So God Made a Mother.

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The British Booksellers by Kristy Cambron

Inspired by real accounts of the Forgotten Blitz bombings, The British Booksellers highlights the courage of those whose lives were forever changed by war—and the stories that bind us in the fight for what matters most.

And check out this review…’In this memorable blend of romance and WWII history, Cambron (THE PARIS DRESSMAKER) chronicles the devastation of the Coventry blitz and its impact on two budding couples . . . Cambron brings a great deal of authenticity to her rendering of Coventry’s ‘Forgotten Blitz’ (which took place almost 100 miles from London), as the tumult and trauma of wartime make class disparity and past misunderstandings wash away, leaving only authentic emotion. Readers won’t be able to turn the pages fast enough.’ — Publishers Weekly starred review

Kristy is also my agent and the best person you could ever meet!

Everything I Wish I Could Tell You about Midlife: A Woman’s Guide to Health in the Body You Actually Have by Mikala Albertson

Preorder Oct 8, 2024

Drawing from eighteen years of medical practice and personal experience, Dr. Mikala Albertson addresses the universal struggles that women face while navigating health and healing in this new stage of life, exploring topics such as

· current medical best practices for wellness and well-being
· understanding perimenopause, hormones, mood disorders, body image, and more
· balancing co-occurring stressors such as relationship troubles, caregiver expectations, and shifting motherhood roles
· finding support, purpose, and healing in this difficult part of life

You may be weary, but there are steps you can take toward health and healing while discovering along the way that there is beauty here too.

Field Notes from the Wilderness by Sarah Bessey

Field Notes for the Wilderness guides us through multiple principles to live by for an evolving faith, including

• practicing wonder and curiosity as spiritual disciplines
• mothering ourselves with compassion and empathy
• making space for lament and righteous rage
• finding good spiritual teachers
• discovering what we are for in this life, and moving in that direction

In this groundbreaking and nurturing book, Bessey becomes a shepherd for our curiosity, giving us a table for our questions, tools to cultivate what we crave, and a blessing for what was—even as we leave it behind.

Please note: Sarah is my dream friend. I was lucky enough to serve on her launch team so we are REALLY CLOSE to being friends!!

    

{I’m an amazon affiliate and make a small amount when you order through these links. I’m so grateful for your support.}

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As we think about celebrating Love day I’ve got a nice little list of my favorite books about all kinds of love

My Favorite Books (lately) About Love

 

 

 Love between friends

 

 

Office BFFs

A super fun memoir for fans of The Office Ladies, The Office or friendship in general! Jenna and Angela’s friendship is a delight and the origin story of their relationship is also full of fun behind the scenes Office scoops!

 

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 We All Want Impossible Things

This book will make you laugh, gut you, and send you into the arms of your own BFF. It is the story of walking in friendship as one friend faces the devastating end of their life while the other is left to support and walk beside. Highly recommend.

 

 

 

 Pet Love

 

Lily and the Octopus

Addie LaRue finds herself set free from a future she didn’t want only to find the price is both immortality and invisibility. Spanning over decades this book will make you question everything you know about living life…and then of course there is an awesome twist because what book isn’t better without that?

 

  Lessons in Chemistry

This book explores love and life on several levels but the character of the dog in this one is crucial and just refreshing and fun. It is also a show so I beg of you read the book before you watch it on TV! Ok? Ok.

 

 

 

 Love of Food

 

 

 

Stanley Tucci

Love Stanley Tucci and now I broke my rule here and watched his show first, but it made me want to get his book! Food is one of my love languages and you will love everything about this!

 

 

 Jen Hatmaker

We have made so many recipes out of this one that I LOVE and that have become family favorites. Try her risotto and it will become a staple. Her roast chicken is amazing. So many other easy and delicious things in this cookbook you will thank me later!

 

 

 

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 Love between sisters

 

 

Secret Book of Fiona Lea

This thriller hooks you in right away and has a ton of twists and turns. The characters are amazing, there is a scene with disappearing vomit I would love to talk to you about (one of those little things you notice as a reader you can’t stop thinking about) It was a fun book to talk about with the group it gave us an awesome conversation. No spoilers here but if you love a good page-turner this is your book.

 

 Pineapple Street

This one is tops on my TBR and is the story of 3 sisters. Here is a small Goodreads snippet, “Darley, the eldest daughter in the well-connected, old money Stockton family, followed her heart, trading her job and her inheritance for motherhood but giving up far too much in the process; Sasha, a middle-class New England girl, has married into the Brooklyn Heights family, and finds herself cast as the arriviste outsider; and Georgiana, the baby of the family, has fallen in love with someone she can’t have and must decide what kind of person she wants to be” Grab it and read it with me!

 

 

 

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 Learning to love yourself

 

 

Finding Me

This memoir from Viola Davis is one I stop people in the street to recommend. The story of overcoming extreme adversity to find herself and her dreams is just a STORY from beginning to end. If you can get it on audiobook so you can hear Ms. Davis read her own story right into your ears you will not regret it.

 

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  I’m Glad My Mom Died

If you haven’t read this yet you need to, Jeanette McCurdy tells the story of her rise to fame alongside her mentally ill mother will have you rooting for her all the way. It is a story of coming into your own and learning to forgive.

 

 

 

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 Romantic Love

 

Tom Lake

I adored this story, narrated from a mother to her adult daughters as they have moved home during COVID. Rarely do we get to look backward from this vantage point and learn about the loves in a mother’s life. So. GOOD.

[image error]  Expirations Dates

I love this author and am so excited to read this book! Since I haven’t yet, it’s another you can read with me. Here is the Goodreads scoop, “Daphne Bell believes the universe has a plan for her. Every time she meets a new man, she receives a slip of paper with his name and a number on it—the exact amount of time they will be together. The papers told her she’d spend three days with Martin in Paris; five weeks with Noah in San Francisco; and three months with Hugo, her ex-boyfriend turned best friend. Daphne has been receiving the numbered papers for over twenty years, always wondering when there might be one without an expiration. Finally, the night of a blind date at her favorite Los Angeles restaurant, there’s only a Jake.”

{I’m an amazon affiliate and make a small amount when you order through these links. I’m so grateful for your support.}

 

The post Your Love Day Book List! appeared first on Amy Betters-Midtvedt.

 

Love Day gifts for teens this Valentine’s Day! It is almost here and we have something for everyone!

I like to give a little love to my teens and they are no longer just candy and stuffed animal people although that can also be a hit. These are the things they currently have in their Amazon carts ready for purchase! Enjoy!

GirlsRare beauty blush
Laneige Glowy Lip Balm
Silk bonnet for sleeping
Spa Headband
Elf Multisick
Socks that hold hands BoysLED basketball lights Gamer headphone charging stand
Nothing says I love you like a emergency car kit! Red Lego Car  Multi tool Pen BothWrap them in love in this burrito blanket Perfect to send to college! Bluetooth charging speaker with lights Shower steamer (or bath bomb if you like baths)  My person bracelet Sloth flower pot  Cute succulents  Mini ice cream maker   If you want to be a big spender (wish I would have seen this at Christmas! Tshirt subscription box 

 

 I am an amazon affiliate and make a small amount from your purchase should you purchase through the link in this post. Thank you so much for supporting me in this way when findinglove day gifts for teens this valentines day!

 

 

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Behold my new sock system.This garbage bag is full to the brink (I threw out the bad ones these are the guys worth saving according to my brain which may be a faulty judge) and it is solving all my problems.I simply stash it in the college girls room where I never have to face it and then pull it out once a month when there are new unpaired socks that appear in the wash…like when we reach more than 40 that don’t have mates. Which makes zero sense to me since I started with all paired socks…but I digress.I then root around in the layers of the bag fishing for matches and pretend it’s a fun game. I pull out hand fulls and I lay them out and play sock memory where a bunch don’t have matches to begin with so it’s not a great game. I whoop with joy when I find a match. I have just enough success that it lets me keep going imagining the day all my socks have found their other half. #daretodreamWhen I’ve paired about 30 pairs or so (you knew I wouldn’t get the full 40 right?) I give up stuff the randoms into the bag and restash it in the closet. Tonight we had to double bag it, it’s getting a bit bulky.But never fear!Out of sight is out of mind and I can PRETEND all my socks have mates! No stray socks on the baskets at all!Organization at its finest.Of course you’ll want to follow me for more household tips. You are welcome in advance.Amy aka Domestic Goddess of socksAlso please note that Lily saw this and said hey maybe if I bring my stay socks from school we’ll find some mates. That explains some things…and also I smell victory coming my way with my new sock system!Note number two: Yes my sweatshirt does say believe…because somebody has to.

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To the Awesome Educators, here are all the ways you are loved:

We love you for making our children feel important in the world outside of our home. We see you taking an interest in their lives, remembering they are in karate or in a play and you ask them about it or even show up at the event which means you are tracking the lives of possibly 30 kids at a time. Watching my own child’s 1st-grade soccer game is sometimes an exercise in patience for me as a parent, and seeing you attend just because my child invited you makes my heart want to burst.

We love you for putting your students first. We see you scarfing your lunch down at that kidney-shaped table as you get materials ready for the student who will be spending that lunch hour getting extra math/writing/reading/rewrite-their-entire-Honors-English-essay help. We see you staying after school making plans for individual students to help give them a shot at getting past a tricky spot. Your day is about their success which often means even putting you need to see the inside of a bathroom on hold for 8 hours. For this we thank you.

We love you for sharing your lives with your students and giving them a different perspective on the world. When my kid comes home excited about something totally new, like creating a crazy design out of PVC pipe as well as promotional materials for said invention because you have made this exciting, we are just drowning in joy. You teachers come from different kinds of families and backgrounds and interests. It’s through you and your stories my kids get to know about different people and places and ways of living. We love this. And along these same lines, we hope the parents of my former students were OK with me influencing a generation of my students to rock out to Air Supply.

We love you for understanding when they come without a permission slip/mittens/math homework and not judging, just supporting and helping. Sometimes we don’t have it all together around here, but you know we are trying.  Thank you for acting like it’s totally normal for my first grader to show up to school wearing his Harry Potter robe instead of a jacket, you know the struggle at home on this point was just so real. When you send that second permission slip or the extra copy of the math homework before we even ask we are so grateful. We also appreciate you constantly checking the lost and found repeatedly for our lost whatevers. We are forever indebted to you for filling in our gaps.

We love you for keeping the fun in childhood even when testing and standards threaten to squeeze this out. Lumberjack day, pizza parties, field trips, whole school Olympics, mini-courses to learn for two days anything you want with choices so endless we don’t know how we would pick (we’re torn between Day at the Spa and Tasty Tours), goofy birthday celebrations or book-it-and-bag-it all day reading days or ending the day with a dance party. Keeping the fun in the days of our kiddos is what they will always remember, so much more than the math or science. Childhood is short, thank you for embracing it.

We love you for being the champion of the underdog…and the average joe… and the high flyer. We see how you love all your students and want more for all of them.  You see the needs of each and strive to meet them. You really know them and are willing to fight for each and every one, sometimes when it seems no one else does. Thank you for being there for all of them. Even the ones that are not always easily loveable.

We love you for refusing to be overwhelmed and instead just doing the next best thing you can do for your students. So much is thrown at you and the world just keeps talking only about what is wrong with education. It all lands on your lap and society just wants you to somehow fix it. Even in this culture, you quietly continue to do your work day in and day out. We see you finding the joy in your students and we know that this bolsters you. Thank you for your focus on the work, for leaving the stress at the door, for keeping your eye on the prize.

We love you for sometimes ignoring us when we are clouded by being so close to our kiddos, your perspective makes me see my child more clearly. Our kids are taking a stab at being out in the world each day in your classroom, sometimes they will make a miss and sometimes those misses are big. Thank you for helping them negotiate this world and gently steering them back when needed. Thank you for being honest about their behavior and needs so we can do the same. Knowing we are working together makes all the difference….go Team Us.

We love you for constantly striving to learn and grow so things can be better for your students even though this means more work for you. We see you bringing stacks of books home, reading constantly over the summer, attending countless classes on your own time, getting degrees that are expensive and get you nowhere financially, trying new ways of teaching that your literacy coach finds and that you might think are a little crazy, and constantly challenging yourself to keep on top of the best research out there. You do none of this for yourself, it is for your students. Your minds are wide open and learning and therefore your students’ minds can be too.

We love you for being that person my child can’t wait to see. we thought we always would be my child’s favorite, but surprisingly we are A-OK with you taking this spot in my child’s world for this year. Your word might override mine in some areas, but we are just fine with you being the end-all-be-all of math instruction. We are happy to learn a new way to support you or to stand back and say, “Hmm….ask your teacher tomorrow, mom’s not sure” then we go back to being mom. We love that our children can’t wait to get to school to see you each day and don’t want to leave 4K without telling you he loves you one more time or spends his morning wondering if your hair will be curly or straight today. A child who wants to be at school each day can’t help but learn so much.

We adore you dear teachers, we are so lucky to have you in our kids’ lives. Know that you are loved and that we parents have your backs. Thanks for being in the trenches with us as we guide our children forward through this often crazy world.

With love and affection,

Grateful Parents Everywhere

xoxo

And a thank you from the kids too!

 

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I present, fun gifts for the midlife woman, I don’t know maybe early life women would love these too?  Or teenagers? Anyway, we always say we don’t want a thing. We just want the joy of our families and our children and oh my word we mean it when we say it. But it is also not helpful at all for people around us. I am here for your friends. Here is a list of things you could buy for that woman in your life or just send to someone who is looking to buy something for you! I love everything on this list, some were impulse buys I ended up really happy with or things I just really, really wanted.

PS You can also buy these for your own sweet self!

 

Loves baby soft This was my very first perfume ever. It was iconic, found on the shelves of Prange Way and Shopko (remember these stores?) and when I found it under the tree at the age of 11 or 12 I felt very grown up. If Love’s Baby Soft wasn’t your first signature scent find the one that is, or ask that special someone what the first perfume was they ever used and take note. I also found United Colors of Benneton was available and now I toggle between the two. Nostalgia all the way! [image error] [image error]
Bowls These bowls are the most popular ones in my house right now and they fill me with joy. They are perfect for all the things, especially past and rice bowls. They make you feel fancy at mealtime. The colors are wonderful. I bought myself 2 sets and they fill me with joy. [image error] [image error]Earwax thing I cannot tell you why this is fun for me but it is. This little device helps you get earwax out of your ears and it makes a little video of it. We might spend time cleaning our ears out for fun talking about how gross it looks on the video. Then our ears feel amazing and so do we. Again, no explanation for why this is joyful but here we are. [image error] [image error]
Grinder  My very smart brother in law recommended it to me and he was not wrong. It is such a great gadget, you can grind your beans for any occasion, espresso, regular coffee, french press. And pressing the hat button and hearing the beans grind just brings me great joy. A little coffee shop sound and moment right in my own kitchen. Any coffee lover will appreciate this one. [image error] [image error]Espresso cup.  How cute is this one? This cute little cup is a joy bringer with it’s little wooden handle and I keep it right under my espresso maker where I can smile at it every day. It isn’t expensive so it’s a great gift when you just need a little something. [image error] [image error]Flair pens and sketch book For the writer in your life…these are my staples. I always have one of these notebooks (in various sizes) and a big pouch of Flair pens, the ones I have linked here are scented for that touch of nostalgia. This is a winner for everyone, teachers included. [image error] [image error] [image error] [image error] Headache hat  Migraines are sadly my companion and if you know someone who feels the same this is such a caring gift to give. This headache hat saves my life on the regular and it might help someone you know, they will feel seen too…you know they suffer and are trying to help. What is better than that? [image error] [image error]Label maker  This gadget is fun for the whole family. Seriously. I labeled all of my shelves and cabinets and my kids labeled everything else in my house with funny names. Seriously so much fun, it’s the gift that keeps on giving and will make anyone feel like they are on their way to being organized whether they are or not. Win/win. [image error] [image error]The stationary shop book  I have so many books I can recommend to you (list coming soon!) but this was my favorite read of the year. It’s a little under the radar for some reason so the book lover in your life may not have read it but is sure to love it! [image error] [image error]Coffee maker  My. Coffee. Maker. I love this thing. It ended my constant Starbucks runs (sorry Starbucks). I scoured the interwebs for the best combo coffee/espresso maker and this guy is it. I make a pot of coffee in the morning then a fancy coffee drink later in the day. DELIGHTFUL. [image error] [image error]French fry/chip basket We got our fries in a restaurant served in these little baskets and I literally ordered them right there at the table. They just make a regular dinner cute and fun and again, joy. Just a little joy.Who doesn’t need more of that in our lives?Boots and Shoes from Orthofeet. I own both their Mary Janes and these awesome brown boots but honestly any of their stuff is wonderful! If you have to stand for your world or if you just have feet that require any sort of support these are for YOU! I like to wear mine with my brown cords or jeans, but honestly for those of us that stand all day? We need to look out for out feet. I’m guessing there is a  woman in your life that needs them!  #OrthoFeetWinterBoots and #ad This Bedford Falls Sweatshirt! For the It’s a Wonderful Life Fan in your world nothing could be better than cozying up to your favorite movie in this amazing, comfy sweatshirt. For the person who is not into Christmas may I suggest that all they need is love??  Enjoy my friends! #shopmyshop [image error] {Some links are affiliate links through Amazon which means I make a bit from each purchase. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support.}

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Family meetings are a thing here, a whole thing.We hit a wall around here friends, and then I decided to just go ahead and put all our feelings on the wall. It is the time of year for a full on regroup. As pictured here I tend to channel all my teacher moves into mom moves when things get crazy and I have to say it works. Post-its make my teacher heart happy.The family meeting (with Post-its or without) gives everyone a chance to be heard. It gives us a chance to get our feelings on the table and it helps us find a way forward out of whatever muck we are in.This particular muck had to do with a house that was a disaster, too many people that were just doing their individual thing and not enough folks that were stepping it up for each other. The litter boxes were overflowing, there were always dishes in the sink, people were on their phones too much (likely including me) and everyone ALWAYS had a “reason” why they were not helping.For the record I hate the idea of helping. I like CONTRIBUTING. Helping makes it seems like everything is my job and they are being nice to me by doing things. Actually, everyone who lives in a space should contribute to the space. Especially those that are old enough to vote.The steps to the family meeting are as follows. Modify and change at will. My brother-in-law said everything about this meeting is what he hates about meetings so if you feel that way put your own spin on it. Take everyone out to dinner, take a family walk and talk it out, forgo the Post-its. But get your people talking. Family meeting forever.Gather your people and give them time to think about the issue. In this case I had them write their thoughts on Post-its but they could jot anywhere. Even the littlest of littles can do this. The idea is to help everyone think their own thoughts before they listen to everyone else. I like to start with something positive. So for this meeting the first question was, “What is working well in our family?”.Give time for everyone to share their thinking without judgement or interruption. It can be good to write down these thoughts. (On Post-its!) This is where you are giving a high five to all the things your family rocks at!Again pose a question, you have started positive so you are going to stay positive. The second question here was, “What would it be like if our family were the best it could be?” This is your ideal state. Dare to dream!Share. Again, no judgement. So if someone says our family would be better if we had better snacks, write it down. If they say it would be better if mom yelled less, do not defend yourself just write it down. Gather all the thoughts.Now you get real. The third question for us was, “What is getting in the way of us being the best we can be?” This is where they write a lot more so you might want to set some ground rules. It cannot be personal as in “Our family would be awesome if mom would stop nagging us.” Instead I gave mine the example, “I think spending so much time on our phones is in the way.” and “We have so many schedules going it is really hard to get things done.” No judgement or finger pointing.Share again. Make a big old list of things that are just challenging. No finger pointing or blame. You might have to work to keep this as neutral as possible. Pat yourself on the back for all of the life skills you are teaching here! Communication skills galore!Then think for a bit…then ask, “What could we do to overcome those barriers?” We ended up having a huge conversation that was different than what I thought it would be. We talked about the fact everyone felt we might need more structure and accountability. Something I thought they didn’t really love.Try something as a solution that may or may not work but you are all committing to give it a whirl. We came up with our second rainbow checklist (pictured below) I give us about a 60% success rate currently even with the back to school transition. We’ll stick with it for a few months and I have full faith things will continue to get better. It is so much better for all of us when kids ask, “Can I go to the mall?” we just say “Have you done your rainbow checklist?” instead of “Are you kidding we need some help around here!” You may be tempted to just put up a checklist for everyone to follow but this meeting is about the process not the product you come up with. Everyone needs to be involved and invested.

All in all the family meeting can get you all back on track and it gives you something to move forward from when your people are off the actual rails! Go with God my friends!

 

Amy

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Back to School reading list. Here is what you should be reading as you head into fall. I know, I hate the. word SHOULD too, but in this case should is giving you options and choices that you can feel confident have been vetted and approved by actual real life readers.

 

Accidental Homesteader

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By my friend Kathi Lipp this nonfiction gem is for everyone who every wanted to raise chickens or bake more and also be inspired. You will thank me later.

 

Anything by Lisa Jewel

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This was my favorite so far but you cannot go wrong with anything by this author. Kate and Lily and I CANNOT GET ENOUGH. Twisty and turny and also page turny. So darn good.

Remarkably Bright Creatures

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Just started this one that everyone I talk to has assured me is an absolute gem. So far I agree!

Demon Copperhead

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This one is a hard story to read that will break your heart and inspire you at the same exact time. Barbara Kingsolver is just one of. my top 10 authors and this story of  child navigating the foster care system through his life is just a story that will stick with you.

Curious Charms of Arthur Pepper

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From my TBR pile this is another all that read it have told me it is my next go to…let me know what you think!

100 Years of Lenni and Margot

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Lenni and Margot still pop into my head a few months after I read their story. Another heartbreaker that is also a story that inspires you to live every day to it’s fullest. Put this one to the top of your list.

The Paris Dressmaker

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This one is by my agent and friend Kristy Cambron and if you love historical fiction that grips your from beginning to end this one is for you. Bonus, she has a bunch more books so I am giving you another new author to read a ton of…you are welcome again!

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Time travel…need I say more?? I passed this one around to my girls and it was a fan favorite! A nice lighter read after a few of these other books make you cry!
The Messy Lives of Book People

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Oh another mystery on the list! When a house cleaner is asked to help the author she cleans for with her latest book so. many. things. happen. A great story and twisty ending!

 

You Could Make this Place Beautiful

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Another heart breaking uplifting read, this one is a true story told in a beautiful poetic memoir style that I adored.

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