Michael Reisig's Blog - Posts Tagged "cellphones"
Cell Phones
I write weekly columns for newspapers and the internet. Some of these will appear in my blog each week. Hope you enjoy!
Michael Reisig
Cell Phones...
By Michael Reisig
For the life of me, I don’t quite understand this addiction to cell phones that has manifested itself in our society. I understand their utilitarian value – being able to contact authorities in an emergency or get in touch with the wife to let her know you’ll be late getting home, but lately, everywhere I look, someone’s got a cell phone umbilically attached to their ear, oblivious to the rest of the world. This seems exceptionally prevalent while driving, and this makes life more challenging for all of us.
Let’s face it, doing things other than driving while driving is almost a national pastime – smoking, drinking, eating, repremanding children, playing with pets, putting on makeup, and now we have talking on the phone (while still continuously doing all the afore-mentioned things as well). I’ve seen Chinese circus acts that couldn’t hold a candle to the everyday drivers on our local highway, but it’s not just on the road. How many times have you been waiting at the doctor’s office, or an airport concourse, or having lunch at a nice restaurant, when someone sits down close to you, drags out their cell phone and begins a conversation that is just loud enough to be really annoying. I don’t want to know a whole bunch of intimate things about you, your boyfriend or your family. I don’t want to know how important you are.
I had to go to Little Rock the other day. In the process, I had to make a pit stop at a rest area. I walked into the less than stellar bathroom, a little cautious to begin with. The first stall was taken so I tried the second. It opened -- seat still attached to the commode, water in the toilet not terribly brown, toilet paper available – all good signs. I had just sat down when I heard a voice from the next stall...
"Hi there, how is it going?"
All right, I’m not generally inclined to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road, but the voice continues.
“Can you hear me okay?”
I didn't know exactly what to do, so finally I said, "Yeah, I hear you. I’m okay..."
Then the voice says, "So, what are you doing?"
Now, I find that a bit disconcerting, and just a little put out, I say, "Well, I'm headed to Little Rock, and right now I’m taking a ^%#@.
Then I hear the person say, all flustered, "Look, I'll call you back. Every time I ask you a question some idiot in the stall next to me keeps answering."
If you’re not sure whether you’re addicted to your cell phone, here’s a short battery of questions I found on the web to help you out.
1. Do parts of your body tingle when you get free cell phone minutes?
2. Does raising your children interfere with programming your speed dial?
3. Do you have long-distance conversations while sitting on the toilet in public restrooms?
4. Does the term fashion statement mean matching your outfit with your cell phone carrying case?
5. Do you use the menu light as your nightlight?
I hate to sound chauvinistic, but I think young girls and cell phones are absolutely the worst combination. I was driving to work this morning, and as I looked over to my left, there was a young woman in a Honda doing 50 miles an hour in a 35 mph zone, with her face tilted up to her rear view mirror, putting on her eyeliner while ardently talking on a cell phone. The next thing I knew, she was halfway into my lane.
It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver into my coffee.
Michael Reisig
Cell Phones...
By Michael Reisig
For the life of me, I don’t quite understand this addiction to cell phones that has manifested itself in our society. I understand their utilitarian value – being able to contact authorities in an emergency or get in touch with the wife to let her know you’ll be late getting home, but lately, everywhere I look, someone’s got a cell phone umbilically attached to their ear, oblivious to the rest of the world. This seems exceptionally prevalent while driving, and this makes life more challenging for all of us.
Let’s face it, doing things other than driving while driving is almost a national pastime – smoking, drinking, eating, repremanding children, playing with pets, putting on makeup, and now we have talking on the phone (while still continuously doing all the afore-mentioned things as well). I’ve seen Chinese circus acts that couldn’t hold a candle to the everyday drivers on our local highway, but it’s not just on the road. How many times have you been waiting at the doctor’s office, or an airport concourse, or having lunch at a nice restaurant, when someone sits down close to you, drags out their cell phone and begins a conversation that is just loud enough to be really annoying. I don’t want to know a whole bunch of intimate things about you, your boyfriend or your family. I don’t want to know how important you are.
I had to go to Little Rock the other day. In the process, I had to make a pit stop at a rest area. I walked into the less than stellar bathroom, a little cautious to begin with. The first stall was taken so I tried the second. It opened -- seat still attached to the commode, water in the toilet not terribly brown, toilet paper available – all good signs. I had just sat down when I heard a voice from the next stall...
"Hi there, how is it going?"
All right, I’m not generally inclined to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road, but the voice continues.
“Can you hear me okay?”
I didn't know exactly what to do, so finally I said, "Yeah, I hear you. I’m okay..."
Then the voice says, "So, what are you doing?"
Now, I find that a bit disconcerting, and just a little put out, I say, "Well, I'm headed to Little Rock, and right now I’m taking a ^%#@.
Then I hear the person say, all flustered, "Look, I'll call you back. Every time I ask you a question some idiot in the stall next to me keeps answering."
If you’re not sure whether you’re addicted to your cell phone, here’s a short battery of questions I found on the web to help you out.
1. Do parts of your body tingle when you get free cell phone minutes?
2. Does raising your children interfere with programming your speed dial?
3. Do you have long-distance conversations while sitting on the toilet in public restrooms?
4. Does the term fashion statement mean matching your outfit with your cell phone carrying case?
5. Do you use the menu light as your nightlight?
I hate to sound chauvinistic, but I think young girls and cell phones are absolutely the worst combination. I was driving to work this morning, and as I looked over to my left, there was a young woman in a Honda doing 50 miles an hour in a 35 mph zone, with her face tilted up to her rear view mirror, putting on her eyeliner while ardently talking on a cell phone. The next thing I knew, she was halfway into my lane.
It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver into my coffee.
