Becky Clark's Blog

I was thrilled last year when I heard that Left Coast Crime was going to be in Denver in 2025, and that my Sisters in Crime Colorado chapter would be involved. I got a bee in my bonnet that this would be an excellent opportunity for our chapter to produce a crime fiction anthology, but I wanted it to be unique.

I thought it would be fun to develop an over-arching mystery that careful readers could solve as they read each of the standalone short stories that followed. I gathered my intrepid (and a little trepidatious) team and they made my vision come true!

The entire process was a fun challenge and it’s truly gratifying to see it out in the world. I also love that so many of our chapter members received their first publishing credit. Very satisfying!

If you haven’t yet, you might want to read the first chapter setting up the premise before you read the rest of this post. You can do that at our Sisters in Crime Colorado website.

As you can imagine, we get a bunch of questions about Colorado Mystery Merge, so here are a few of our authors answering some of the more common ones. There were so many great answers, but I had to edit for length. Being an editor is hard! 

What sparked your story?

• Ann Dominguez: Don’t tell the Colorado Native police, but I lived in Illinois for 15 years. Their JULIE (Joint Utility Locating Information for Excavators) 811 hotline inspired my story, though I moved the story to Denver.

• Brooke Craig: My story’s victim and his characteristics were inspired by someone in the news in recent years. I found out, after writing the story, that the real person had similar tactics to my victim when negotiating with female real estate agents.

• Francelia Belton: As usual, it was the first line for me: a sentence starter. Once I wrote that sentence, the second sentence immediately came to mind.

• Galit Gottlieb: At 100, my MIL became suspicious that one of her senior home neighbors, a birdlike lady who could barely lift a fork, was evil. It was the seed for Viggo’s Prize.

• Holly Harris: My friends have a ranch near Wiggins, CO, and I have kept a couple horses there for years. One day, the sheriff called and asked for permission to search for a body in one of their cow pastures believed to have been buried decades ago. The rest of the story is fiction.

• Jenna Lincoln: I actually saw a woman with the sign “Welcome home from prison, he deserved it” at DIA last summer. And since I didn’t know the real story, I had to write one. 

• Kerry Hammond: Whenever I go driving throughout Colorado and surrounding states, I see those oil wells in fields and think about the old TV show Dynasty (set in Colorado). How fun it would be if there was a new, modern version. 

• Linda Solaya: Real life. I meet once a month with a small group of older women to papercraft together. At one point there were three Lindas in the group, and we were always saying, “No, the other Linda.”

• Meagan Dallner: There is a legal case where an author is suing someone for stealing their book and editing it (leaving huge sections untouched and many names and locations the same) before selling it to a traditional publishing house. Quite the scandal! 

• Peg Brantley: A fun way to introduce a new character and hopefully get readers interested in reading more of her.

• Rhonda Blackhurst: Ironically, working at the DA’s office led to a lot of scenarios one would never believe in fiction. I took the bare bones of one and twisted it into a story, leaving out the totally unbelievable but factual twists.  

What makes a Colorado setting uniquely challenging/interesting?  

• Donnell Bell: Everything about Colorado is challenging and Interesting. Just move away and try to get back there in the winter!

• Fleur Bradley Visscher: It’s that juxtaposition of urban Denver vs. rural and mountain. The feel of these places is completely different, though it’s fun to flex your writer muscle. Better than going to the gym.

• Francelia Belton: I didn’t find the Colorado setting all that challenging. It helps with the “write what you know” adage that is constantly dropped kicked into a writer’s skull.

• Holly Harris: The mountains visually anchor the Front Range and assert their position as the western boundary of the region. I grew up in north Texas. There were no landmarks letting me know whether I was facing west or east. It was a relief moving to the Front Range, always knowing that the mountains were to the west. I hope my writing conveys my love of Colorado.

• Jenna Lincoln: What people who live in Colorado know/experience tends to be different than what outsiders think it could/should be.

• Linda Solaya: People’s misconception of Colorado as being only mountainous. I work hard to describe the plains to help people visualize the other side of Colorado.

• Marie Sutro: Jaw-dropping nature plus rapid population growth creates a hotbed for mysteries. Choosing from such a diverse palate is like choosing a favorite child. 

• Meagan Dallner: Colorado has so many fun settings to pull strings on. There’s downtown and mountain towns and small towns and big city with such an eclectic mix of people … it’s the perfect place to stage a merge mystery! 

• Melissa Robbins: The stories all had to take place in April, but a plant I referred to doesn’t grow in April in Colorado, so I had to add a greenhouse. 

What excited you the most about the idea of writing for a mystery merge anthology?

• Brooke Craig: It was a great way for me to get started as a newer fiction writer. I appreciated being able to write my own story and in the crime genre I liked while also giving me the opportunity to be surrounded (literally and figuratively, ha!) by well-established authors and friends.

• Donnell Bell: Trying to see if I could write something that would coincide with Becky’s humorous cozy voice.

• Fleur Bradley Visscher, Francelia Belton, Peg Brantley, and Linda Solaya all had a variation of the same thought: My SinC peeps are the best. I just love that I get to collaborate with them.

• Holly Harris: First, I loved the idea of an overarching mystery for readers to solve. Then, when Becky told me anyone could play, published or not, I was thrilled to participate. We have some killer (excuse the pun) stories in the anthology, and I am honored to have my story among them.

• Kerry Hammond, Marie Sutro, and Jenna Lincoln all had a variation of the same thought: I loved the idea of giving the reader a chance to solve the overarching mystery as they read each story.

• Meagan Dallner: Writing a mystery in under 3500 words was a challenge I couldn’t pass up! 

• Melissa Robbins: I write historical mysteries, so it was fun coming up with a modern story. I also thought the concept was a neat idea and wanted to see how it worked. 

• Rhonda Blackhurst: To check off another item on my bucket list.

What worried you the most about it?

• Ann Dominguez: My first draft of this story (written in 2011 for a short story workshop) ended wrong. It took me 13 years to fix it—almost as long as the construction at DIA.

• Fleur Bradley Visscher: As with any story, I always worry that what I write won’t be any good. Silly, because I’ve been doing this a while now. But the bar is high–look at all the amazing writers in this anthology!

• Francelia Belton and Peg Brantley shared this worry: That I wouldn’t be able to find a natural place to stick in the clue.

• Holly Harris, Linda Solaya, and Brooke Craig had the same concern: I admit I suffered from imposter syndrome and expected that my story would not be as well written as my fellow authors. We have some excellent writers in our group!

• Jenna Lincoln and Kerry Hammond had the same worry: If readers would be distracted by the different styles and types of stories and if the variety would be off-putting. 

• Meagan Dallner and Melissa Robbins had similar concerns: Creating an engaging story within the word count.

• Rhonda Blackhurst: The unknown of being part of an anthology; plus short story writing is outside of my comfort zone, proving you can teach an old dog new tricks. 

Was it hard to work the mystery merge clue into your story?

• Ann Dominguez: We are saturated by online news 24/7. Adding the updates and speculation around Dr. Dictionary’s murder gave me an opportunity to locate the story in a “real” time and place.

• Brooke Craig: Yes, it was clunky in my first drafts. I loved Becky’s idea of giving the clue within a news story of some kind since it was much more streamlined than just plunking it onto the page.

• Donnell Bell: No, as the characters and setting fell into place, my protagonist told me exactly where I could stuff … er… put that clue.

• Fleur Bradley Visscher: Becky made it easy. Also, it added some levity to my story which I like. Even with all my fancy theme footwork, I like to keep things fun and light.

• Francelia Belton: No, it helped that it was a natural reaction for my character to turn on the radio when he got into his car.

• Holly Harris: Not really. The opportunity to include the clue just popped into a scene as I went along while my character conducted her investigation.

• Jenna Lincoln: It was a matter of finding a place in the story where the POV character would naturally interact with a local news story. Younger people are less likely to consume or even be aware of local news.

• Linda Solaya: Not at all. I just added it into a conversation.

• Marie Sutro: After working myself into a tither with worry, wild author wrangler extraordinaire, Becky Clark, gave me a mental margarita and I was ready to write.

• Meagan Dallner: No, it felt natural.

• Melissa Robbins: No, but I had to tell my critique partners to overlook the randomness of the clue. LOL! 

• Rhonda Blackhurst: Not at all. Our wonderful leader made it super easy.

Is this your first published story?

• Ann Dominguez: I published my first poems in 1980 and my first novel in 2015, but somehow I skipped over the short story genre in between. I finally have a short story out and my life is complete!

• Brooke Craig: I self-published a few short stories on a writing platform (Vocal) in the dystopian genre a few years ago, but otherwise this is my first one. Yay!!

• Fleur Bradley Visscher: No, I’ve been at this writing and publishing thing for over twenty years. Still, each story is special. It’s like being proud of your kids, only not at all.

• Francelia Belton: Nope! I have published 13 short stories to date. However, I have a big, hairy, audacious goal to write 1,001 stories before I meet my maker. Sooo, I gotta get crack-a-lackin’!

• Holly Harris: Oh my gosh, yes, it is! Yippee! I am over-the-top excited about it.

• Linda Solaya: My second. Woo hoo!

• Marie Sutro: Good things come in threes. My third novel will be out in 2025 and this is my third short story. I’m thrilled For the First Time is a part of Colorado Mystery Merge!

• Meagan Dallner: Yes! 

• Melissa Robbins: No. I have another short story, The Bones in the Box, in the Guppies Anthology Fish or Cut Bait. 

• Rhonda Blackhurst: My first published short fiction story. I was part of an anthology several years ago, but it was nonfiction. 

So there you have it. A tiny peek behind the curtain for Colorado Mystery Merge. I hope you take the opportunity to get to know these and all the other fabulous authors in our anthology!

It’s available on all the ebook platforms, in paperback on Amazon … and at your favorite bookstore or library. (We have a special deal for multiple copies, so if they don’t already carry it, have them contact me through my website for the deets. We want it on their shelves!)

One perplexing murder mystery … plus eighteen different short stories containing the clues to solve it.

You’ve never read a short story anthology like this one!

These stories—unrelated, but all set in Colorado during the same week—will each merge for a moment to drop a pertinent clue about an overarching mystery, the news of which is blanketing the entire state that week.

Colorado icon and local celebrity, Doctor Dictionary, is murdered at a fundraiser where he was to be honored for his philanthropy. “Murder at the Twelve Mooses Ballroom” by Becky Clark kicks off the fun.

As you read each standalone short story that follows, channel your inner detective and collect the mystery merge clues to figure out who killed Doctor Dictionary.

You’ll find nineteen entertaining short mysteries by talented Colorado authors—all members of Sisters in Crime Colorado—writing in various crime fiction genres from cozy to thriller. There’s something for everyone!

Take a tour of Colorado through the imagination of some of the best crime writers in the state: Amy Rivers, Ann Dominguez, Becky Clark, Brooke Craig, Donnell Ann Bell, Fleur Bradley Visscher, Francelia Belton, G.P. Gottlieb, Holly Harris, Jenna Lincoln, Kerry Hammond, Leanne Kale Sparks, Linda Solaya, Marie Sutro, Mary Birk, Meagan Dallner, Melissa Robbins, Peg Brantley, and Rhonda Blackhurst.

I went to the movies for the first time in longer than I can remember.

I wasn’t planning on it, but after everyone on the planet—or at least six people—told me to go see “Wicked,” I succumbed.

I’ve seen it on stage several times, so I was worried they’d ruin it, but it was great. Although I will say, when Elphaba flies up from the stage at the end of the first act, there’s no movie CGI that can compare to the goosebumps you get from a live performance. Just sayin’.

But that’s not my point.

My point is how much I loathe going to the movies these days.

• They make you be there at a certain time.

• There are icky other people there, even when you go to a show on Tuesday afternoon.

• And even when there are only eight other people in the theater, they make you squint at a teeny tiny screen to choose your seats.

• But the weirdest thing is that there’s no marquee anymore! There’s no sign outside showing what’s playing, and there’s no sign inside showing what’s playing either. How are you supposed to know which movie to sneak into after you see your movie??

And look at this teeny tiny ticket! What’s the point of that thing with a QR code that goes nowhere?

Can you hear me offer up a teeny tiny sigh?

When it was announced that Left Coast Crime 2025 would be held in Denver, I knew my Colorado chapter of Sisters in Crime would be involved. I also knew it would be fantastic timing to finally pull the trigger on producing a short story anthology for our chapter.

Only problem was we’d never done one before.

So I contacted other SinC chapters and the national organization to figure out what was involved. Spoiler alert: quite a bit! But doable … certainly by March 2025, almost a year away!

We needed a theme, though, some kind of hook, something to brand our anthology for this first one and each subsequent book, assuming this one didn’t kill us. (Jury’s still out, btw.)

I had been involved in an anthology that had an overarching mystery element to it that was a cool idea, but I wanted a little more oomph to ours. I proposed to the membership of our Colorado SinC chapter that we do an anthology with these elements:

• I’d write a short mystery (the overarching “mega-mystery”) involving the murder of a local celebrity

• anyone who wanted to be a part of this crazy endeavor could write a 3,500-word story in any genre they wanted (but I asked them to keep everything PG-rated—no sex, no cursing, no blood or gore)

• every submission had to be a standalone short story

• every story had to be set in Colorado during the same week

• I’d give every author a clue from the mega-mystery—hence the “Mystery Merge”—which they were to plop into their story wherever they wanted, but it had to come from a news source of some kind—radio, TV, newspaper, online gossip blog, water cooler conversation … whatever struck their fancy

• readers could collect these clues and, theoretically, solve the mega-mystery

• I’d bookend the anthology with the denouement of the mega-mystery so they could see if they were right

Easy peasy, eh?

Let’s just say it took a bit before everyone picked up what I was putting down! But when they did, man-o-man, they really did! These genius authors worked the clues I gave them into their stories in spectacularly unique ways … all perfect for their stories and their characters.

Some of the authors in our Colorado Mystery Merge hadn’t been published before, so I’m thrilled that they’ll get to do a big group signing at Left Coast Crime! That’s such a fun way to kick off a writing career. And some of the authors told me this project was exactly what they needed to get back their writing mojo, so that makes me happy too.

I’m also very proud to tell you that the reviews are starting to trickle in and they’re excellent! The ebook is available in a bunch of places, and the paperback will be available soon.

Click over to our Sisters in Crime Colorado website and read the kick-off story.

Hope you pick it up and give it a spin! And if you’ll be at Left Coast Crime Denver, keep your eyes and ears open … we have some fun stuff planned!

Do you like to read short stories? Have you ever written one? Did you ever drag your friends through a project that threatened to swallow everyone whole?

This is a short scene from Banana Bamboozle, the first of my Dunne Diehl books. I think about it every so often when my work-in-progress is painful and seems impossible. This particular passage came easy and still makes me laugh. In fact, it placed high in a comedy writing contest where I read it in front of an audience. It was such a revelation to have to ‘pause for laughter’ as I read. They get me, they really get me! So, I thought since I was thinking about it, maybe you’d like to read it. And if you like it enough to buy the paperback, you’ll be treated to flip pictures in the corner of the pages that I created myself. In this book, they are little glasses that fill and empty, because a Banana Bamboozle is actually a drink I concocted, which is a story for another day. In Marshmallow Mayhem, book two, the flip picture is a marshmallow roasting on a stick, because it involves a camping trip. It’s also the first fictional sighting of Nala, who is disguised as Soso, who gets her name from the word ‘sponge’ in the Hausa language because that’s how quiet she is.

         The salesgirl held up two choices for Cassidy. “The Don’t Despair lifts the tush and supports the midsection. The Magic Miss Miracle is more of a bust-to-knee—”

         Cassidy grabbed it. “The Magic Miss Miracle. Perfect. Ring it up.”

         “Don’t you want to try it on?”

         “It comes in Missus, right? Or maternity? It’ll be fine. I believe in miracles. And I need one.”

         “What about an outfit? Where are you going?”

         “Mexican restaurant.” Cassidy mentally ransacked her closet. “Do you have anything guacamole-and-salsa-colored? Never mind. No time.”

         Cassidy was fifty-two years old and getting ready for her first date since before the birth of Justin Bieber. Before Monica Lewinsky decided she needed a new blue dress. Before Joey Buttafuoco became the buttafuoco of jokes.

After gasping at the price and reluctantly handing over her credit card, Cassidy flew to the day spa and burst through the door. Four indistinguishable blonde 20-something girls waited for her in the reception area. Cassidy didn’t slow as they surrounded her like androids and quick-marched her through gauzy curtains. She wouldn’t have been surprised to see a contrail behind them. 

“We heard it was crunch time. Cleared the schedule. I’m Emma, I’ll be doing your manicure,” the first one said. “Ellie will be doing your pedi. That’s Ellory, in charge of waxing, but we’ll all help. And that’s Alice. She’s on tanning.”

“My own pit crew. Let’s get these tires rotated, ladies!”

They began in the waxing room. Hot wax coated her from all directions. She flinched rhythmically as hair was ripped from her body. Cassidy forgot to remind them of the private neighborhoods in her personal municipality that didn’t need the Public Works Department. At the last minute, Cassidy convinced them to use only the trimmer around her Recreation Center. They argued, citing traffic concerns, but finally conceded. When they flipped her to her stomach, she saw the pile of hairy muslin strips on the floor like so many cartoon moustaches.

When they were done, they helped her off the table. She took a wide stance and they went to work with spatulas and bottles of oil, scraping off the sticky bits like she was a pancake griddle.

The four girls worked silently. Cassidy hoped they were concentrating on the job but realized they were probably rethinking their career choice. Nobody jumped out of bed and shouted, “Yippee! Today I’m going to inspect an old lady for stray body hair and wax bits.”

Emma handed her a robe and led her to a dimly-lit room where soft classical music played. A steamy tub of vanilla-scented water beckoned. Ah, this is more like it. Emma pointed out the best soap to remove the oil, then left. Cassidy stepped into the tub and sank into its warmth.

As her muscles considered relaxing, there was a rap on the door. It opened immediately. “Ready for you,” Alice said.

“I just got in. I haven’t even soaped up yet.”

“Okay.” Instead of leaving, Alice squirted some spearmint botanical soap in her hands and rubbed them together. “Left leg.”

Cassidy raised her left leg out of the tub and Alice soaped it from mid-thigh to between her toes, making Cassidy giggle, despite the seriousness of the situation.

“Left arm.” Alice grabbed Cassidy’s hand and soaped from wrist to tricep to armpit across boobage to belly button and back again. Again, Cassidy giggled, even while willing herself not to.

“Right leg.” Soap, giggle, rinse.

“Right arm.” Soap, giggle, rinse.

Alice handed her a soft cloth, pointed to her face and commanded, “Scrub.” Cassidy did as she was told while Alice pulled the plug in the tub. 

“Stand.”

Cassidy stood.

Alice took the shower nozzle and sprayed her, rinsing stray soap bubbles down the drain. She held out a towel. “Dry.” When Cassidy was dry, Alice helped her back into her robe and led her to the tiny spray tan room. There was just enough space for the two of them to maneuver on the 4 x 4 canvas tarp stained with dozens of shades of brown. Alice handed her a paper thong and a hair net. Cassidy stared at the thong. “You’re worried about my modesty now?”

Alice shrugged. “Ever had an airbrush tan?” Cassidy shook her head. “Stand like this. Arms like this.” Cassidy mimicked her. “When I say ‘Face’ that means I’m doing your, you know, face. So close your eyes, hold your breath, and do your lips like this.” Alice tucked in her lips and so did Cassidy. “Ready?” Cassidy’s tucked lips could only manage a weird bleating noise.

Alice fired up a hand-held device that looked like a garden hose attachment for poisoning weeds. Cassidy stood as directed while Alice painted her body with Bronze Buff. When she finished, about twenty minutes later, she shut off the compressor. “Fifteen minutes to dry.” She turned on banks of box fans, stacked floor-to-ceiling on three sides of the tiny room. “Stand in front of the fans with your arms up until I come get you. And don’t scratch. Even if you itch.”

Cassidy wasn’t itchy until that very moment. Fifteen minutes is an eternity when all you can think of is not scratching. Finally Alice came back with a very lightweight — and except for a few well-placed butterflies and flowers — mostly see-through sleeveless shift. Cassidy grabbed for her robe but Alice got to it first. “Too heavy. Ruin your tan.” She helped her into the shift and Cassidy snapped it up the front.

The final stage of her transformation was her mani/pedi. Emma worked on her hands, Ellie on her feet. They soaked, scrubbed, polished and buffed while Cassidy sat in the massage chair and got kneaded, pummeled, smoothed and soothed.

Four hours and twenty-seven minutes after rushing through the door of the Head to Toe Day Spa, she rushed out again and headed home to finish getting ready for her date.

Those enchiladas better be worth it.

I know all the Chicks and most mystery writers reading this are already members of Sisters in Crime, but did you know you can join as a reader, bookseller, or librarian? And you don’t even have to be a woman?

Their mission statement reads, “Sisters in Crime was founded in 1986 to promote the ongoing advancement, recognition and professional development of women crime writers.”

That’s it. That’s all they want to do. Of course, they do so much more. There are chapters in Canada and London and in almost every state. Here’s the complete list.

Cynthia Kuhn launched our vibrant Colorado chapter in 2015. I didn’t know Cynthia at the time, but a friend, Peg Brantley, invited me to come along to their organizational meeting. We both vowed, driving to it, that we’d be happy to join, but no way were we going to volunteer for anything. Spoiler alert—we left as the inaugural Programming Chairs. Honestly, that meeting was so much fun I absolutely had to be fully immersed with these women!

The beauty of starting an organization from scratch is that you get to design your role exactly how you want.

Peg and I decided our meetings would be on Saturdays because we watch football on Sundays. I recall a bit of pushback from Cynthia until she accepted that this was indeed a hill we were willing to die on.

We’ve been involved in lots of groups over the years, so we knew how easy it was to blow off a monthly meeting, vowing to attend next month instead. We also knew there were twelve months in a year and that’s a lot of speakers, so we decided to schedule ours for a full day four times a year. We’re a statewide organization so we have people coming from all corners. We wanted it to be worth their while to drive across the state.   

We also decided we wouldn’t call them “meetings” because meetings are boring. The Colorado Chapter of Sisters in Crime holds “quarterly events.” Pretty fancy, huh? We also have field trips to museums or Escape Rooms or K9 exhibitions; we have a January Kick-Off-the-Year party; and we meet for guest speakers like Ellen Byron, Nancy Picard, and Hank Phillippi Ryan.

NecroSearch Intn’l taught us about jumping maggots, something I still think about Sparky, now retired, is an award-winning drug detection dog. Doesn’t he look like Wishbone?? A kick-off party where, yet again, we forgot to take a pic until the very end. We’re about 100 members strong. My pal Ellen Byron came from CA to speak to us Nancy Picard is one of the founders of SinC Hank Phillippi Ryan is such a generous member of SinC

We meet at a library and have a morning speaker talking to us about the craft or business of writing. We break for lunch and gabbing with our Sisters and Misters, then reconvene in the afternoon to hear from industry professionals. After the event, many of us convene elsewhere to continue the party over a glass of wine or pizza.

Here are just some of the fascinating folks we’ve heard from and/or topics we’ve covered in the afternoon: psychologist talking about stalkers; CBI Communications Director; FBI profiler; gun expert; arson investigator; polygraph expert; private/professional soldiers who extract people from kidnappers and pirates; forensic anthropologist; human trafficking task force personnel; private investigators; all kinds of cops with all kinds of expertise; crime scene analysts; forensic biologist; retired NCIS director; attorneys; county jail officer; retired Chief of Police; DA investigator; poisons experts … my notebook is filled with fascinating tidbits to help with my writing and satisfy my curiosity.  

Peg and I completed our term with Programming, but recently got sucked back in, because—truly—it’s a fun job.

But the reason I’m telling you all of this is because we’re rounding up speakers for our November event and we thought it would be helpful to our membership to hear from a chiropractor in the morning. My chiropractor, to be precise. I’ve known him for at least 20 years and he’s very practical so I knew he’d have tips and tricks to help a group of writers keep our hands, wrists, and backs healthy so we can write every day.

I also knew that when I asked if he could save the last thirty minutes to teach us how to kill someone, he wouldn’t report me to the police. Of course, writers need to know this stuff so our bad guys can be realistically bad, and our good guys can defend themselves and thwart danger.

When I saw him this morning, he did a little jig and said, “I’m so excited about this!”

So, if you find yourself in the Denver area on November 16th and want to know how to kill someone with your bare hands, let me know.

Do you belong to your local Sisters in Crime chapter? Do you have any regular meetings—I mean events—that you look forward to attending? If you could launch any organization, what would it involve?

 

I am trying, somewhat successfully, to plow through the pile of magazines on my nightstand. We’ve pared down, though, and “only” subscribe to Time, The Sun Magazine, Smithsonian, the New Yorker, and the Atlantic.

At an antique book fair a while back, I couldn’t resist a large plastic tub of “Screen Stories” which are mostly from the 1950s. The entire issue of each is telling the complete stories of all the movies that are showing in cinemas. It’s the weirdest, most fascinating reading I’ve done in a long time. Essentially, they are short stories, complete with photos from the movies. It takes me forever to get through each issue. And the ads are just as entertaining (and a little bit horrifying) as the magazines!

I neared the end of my April 2023 issue of The Atlantic and I was delighted to find an article about Judy Blume. Here’s the link, but it might be behind a pay wall. The good news, if you’re a Judy Blume fan too, is that most libraries carry magazines so you can go read it at your local public library.

Now I’m going to get even further behind on my stack of magazines, because I’m going to reread all the Judy Blume books I can get my hands on! ALL OF THEM! And I’m going to watch the movie made of “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.”

Are you a Judy Blume fan? Do you have a pile of magazines and books threatening to smother you in your sleep?

I’ve been thinking about leadership lately, perhaps because it’s football season again—finally!—and the Broncos have a new quarterback. Coach Sean Payton tested three potential starting QBs during the preseason. They’re all very skilled football players, but he was looking for something in addition to ball handling skills. Coach Payton said, “You’re evaluating the person. How they fit in with the organization.” I heard him during a press conference say something like, “We can teach nutrition, ball handling, the playbook, and other fundamentals of the sport. But we can’t teach leadership.”

Leadership.

We’re on the brink of the most important election of our lives, and both parties have had their nominating conventions. I listened to speeches from both the RNC and the DNC, but I heard vast differences. Pessimism vs optimism; backward vs forward; failure vs opportunity.

Good politicians are unique creatures. Their egos must be big enough to think they can do this impossible job, but they also must know they need to do their work for reasons larger than themselves. Mainly, they need to work for the entirety of the American populace.

That’s a tough job.

Economic policy, healthcare, tax codes, national security, terrorism, housing, systemic racism/misogyny/homophobia, climate change, homelessness are all very complicated problems. And those aren’t the only problems.

Good politicians know they can’t know or do everything, so they surround themselves with brilliant tacticians, diplomats, policy wonks, and experts in all fields to help guide their decisions.

But they can’t hire or appoint someone to give them character … or empathy … or optimism … or maturity. Nobody can be an expert in everything, but everyone has the capacity to care about people.

I certainly don’t know everything, but I do know this— a nation can’t survive with leaders who surround themselves with yes-men and -women and hate and who fear wide swaths of their constituency.

 Who are some great leaders you’ve known? Employers? Teachers? Coaches? Parents? What made them great?

Back when it was easy to burn and listen to CDs, my kids continuously tried to pull me into the modern era by curating new music they thought I’d like. They were always spot on and I found tons of good music because of them.

The other day I was listening to one of songs—now on my ultra-hip iTunes playlist—my daughter had sent me years ago. It’s by Mika who sings, “We’re running with blood on our knees.” But what did I hear? “We’re running with mud in our tea.”

Does it make sense? Absolutely not. Did I confidently sing it at the top of my lungs for years? Yes, I did.

But suddenly I heard it differently and, puzzled, went to look up the lyrics. Cue laughter.

How could I so confidently and for so long mishear those lyrics?? And what changed the other day?

I’m also going to confess to singing along with England Dan and John Ford Coley’s “I’m not talkin’ ‘bout movin’ in” as “I’m not talkin’ ‘bout molybdenum” which is weird, unless you know that an older cousin I admired was getting her geology degree. *shrug* That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

And I’m sure I’m not the only Sunday school kid who thought we were singing about Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear.

To soothe my ego, I began searching for others who sang equally weird lyrics and let me tell you … I found some hilarious ones!

“Strummin’ my veins with his fingers” … instead of Roberta Flack’s “strummin’ my pain”“Life in the Vaseline” … instead of the Eagles’ “life in the fast lane”“Holy infantry tender and mild” … instead of Silent Night’s “holy infant” [this comes with a cute story, though. Her father was in the Army so it made perfect sense to her child-like worldview.]“If she’s beside me I know I’ll need Medicare” … instead of The Beatles’ “I know I need never care”“Dancing queen, young and sweet, only seven teeth” … instead of Abba’s “only seventeen”“I’m courting a tramp” … instead of Elvis’ “caught in a trap”And this two-fer— “Highly indiscreet, that is what we are” and “Ireland’s industry, that is what we are” … instead of Kenny and Dolly’s “islands in the stream”“A secondhand emotion” … instead of Smokey Robinson’s “I second that emotion”“A singer in a smoky room, smiling wine and sheep perfume” … instead of Journey’s “a smell of wine and cheap perfume”“Just wreck my Jeep before you leave” … instead of Juice Newton’s “just touch my cheek before you leave”“You’re the wombat I want” … instead of Grease’s “You’re the one that I want”“Trixie’s chimpanzees, you hear it from the people in the crowd they holler, ‘Trixie’s chimpanzees’ and every night the men would come around and lay that monkey down” … instead of Cher’s “Gypsies, tramps, and thieves laying their money down”“The cat backed into the outhouse” … instead of Elton John’s “you can’t plant me in your penthouse”“She’s got electric boobs, her mom has too” … instead of Elton John’s “electric boots, a mohair suit”“If you tease me you’ll be sorry, falalalala lalalala” … instead of “’tis the season to be jolly”“You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel” … instead of Kenny Roger’s “Lucille”“Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there, but just remember there’s a lot of bad underwear” … instead of Cat Stevens’ “remember there’s a lot of bad and beware”“He ain’t Kevin, he’s my brother” … instead of The Hollies’ “he ain’t heavy”And some more name-dropping— “Klaus to the left of me, Joe comes to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you” … instead of Stealers Wheel “clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right”“Desperado, you’ve been outright offensive for so long now” … instead of The Eagles’ “you’ve been out riding fences”“Wake me up to pour you cocoa” … instead of Wham’s “wake me up before you go go”“Every girl’s crazy ‘bout a shy brass band” … instead of ZZ Top’s “sharp dressed man”“Lemming on a bear” … instead of Bon Jovi’s “Living on a prayer”

Got a favorite? Do you have any misheard lyrics you’ll confess to? What kind of music do you like? Do you ever run with mud in your tea?

I have a daily “Unexplained Mysteries” calendar from the History Channel. Most of the mysteries aren’t very mysterious. Some of them are just ancient ideas that have been debunked by science. But some of them are truly perplexing and fascinating.

Like these.

Sometimes I mull these over while I’m swimming in the morning. Inevitably, though, my mind wanders back to all the unexplained mysteries in my own life.

Why did my internet provider schedule an appointment for me three weeks ago, cancel it two weeks ago, then confirm yesterday they’d be here today? And this morning why did they send me a text telling me they’d arrive between 11:05 and 3:05 immediately—and I mean this quite literally—followed by a text saying they’d be here between 8:00 and noon?

Why does the guy at the pool begin every sentence with, “So anyway …”?

Why have the grasshoppers decimated my garden just when I figured out how to keep the deer away?

Why can I have a long, epic, incredibly detailed dream about my work-in-progress only to have it—POOF—disappear forever the minute my eyes blink open?

Why don’t I just make a German chocolate cake instead of lamenting the fact I don’t have one?

Why does my husband’s closed laptop suddenly begin playing music?

Why do I always pick the slowest check-out lane despite it having the fewest people in it?

Why do I still open the wrong drawer looking for a spoon when we changed the silverware drawer more than twenty years ago?

Why is there never enough ice cream in my freezer?

Why is it impossible to keep from veering toward the display of books on sale even when they’re not books I’m interested in?

Oh well. I guess I’ll go wait for my internet technician ….

What are the unexplained mysteries in your life?