Mike Cyra's Blog
January 27, 2013
Altitude Means Time & Time Means Life
A student skydiver asked his Jumpmaster, "If my main parachute doesn't open, how long do I have to open my reserve parachute?"
The Jumpmaster smiled, "The rest of your life."
The Jumpmaster smiled, "The rest of your life."
December 2, 2012
A Lesson in Humor: If You Can Laugh, When You Lose Your Nads...
My dad had a great sense of humor. He showed me many times the value of being able to laugh at yourself and the world around you.
When he was diagnosed with late stage prostate cancer, one of the first procedures he had was a bilateral orchiectomy. I'll save you from looking it up, it's the surgical removal of both testicles. (because it feeds the cancer)
I was there when they wheeled my Dad out of the operating room after the procedure. He gave me a dopey, post general anesthesia grin and asked the surgical nurse, "Was it a boy or a girl?"
She laughed and said, "You had twins, honey."
He chuckled, "Yea, I bet they l looked a lot alike."
Now this is a man who didn't smoke, never took anything stronger than an aspirin, didn't drink heavily, and minutes after having his first general anesthetic, he has the presence of mind to fire off a primo joke about just having his nuts lopped off.
That, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what’s called, a sense of humor.
I miss you Dad.
When he was diagnosed with late stage prostate cancer, one of the first procedures he had was a bilateral orchiectomy. I'll save you from looking it up, it's the surgical removal of both testicles. (because it feeds the cancer)
I was there when they wheeled my Dad out of the operating room after the procedure. He gave me a dopey, post general anesthesia grin and asked the surgical nurse, "Was it a boy or a girl?"
She laughed and said, "You had twins, honey."
He chuckled, "Yea, I bet they l looked a lot alike."
Now this is a man who didn't smoke, never took anything stronger than an aspirin, didn't drink heavily, and minutes after having his first general anesthetic, he has the presence of mind to fire off a primo joke about just having his nuts lopped off.
That, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what’s called, a sense of humor.
I miss you Dad.
September 26, 2012
32 things laughter does you may not be aware of.
32 thing laughter does that you may not be aware of.
1. Lowers blood pressure
2. Increases oxygen in the body
3. Decreases anxiety
4. Burns five calories per hour
5. Decreases pain in lab mice
6. Makes brain release dopamine (sex, gambling, sex)
7. Helps immune system
8. Feels really good
9. Builds trust and rapport among people
10. Makes some women pee uncontrollably
11. Makes some women take their clothes off
12. Releases endorphins-the body’s natural pain killers
13. Makes chimps jump up and down and shake trees
14. It’s contagious
15. Improves function of blood vessels
16. Reduces road rage and feelings of anger
17. Is unavoidable when taking LSD and other hallucinogens
18. Gets men out of trouble. Second only to flowers and diamonds
19. Makes abdominal muscles hurt
20. Is the only exercise couch potato’s get
21. Makes people wonder what’s so funny
22. Draws a crowd
23. Causes explosive expulsion of food from oral cavity
24. Causes explosive expulsion of carbonated fluids through nasal cavity
25. Promotes peace and good will
26. Enables people to keep sanity
27. Has no effect on wild stampeding herd of elephants
28. Causes spontaneous flatulence during sex
29. Related to thirty-two choking deaths per year
30. Has antidepressant qualities
31. Great way to pick up chicks
32. It’s free except in comedy clubs
1. Lowers blood pressure
2. Increases oxygen in the body
3. Decreases anxiety
4. Burns five calories per hour
5. Decreases pain in lab mice
6. Makes brain release dopamine (sex, gambling, sex)
7. Helps immune system
8. Feels really good
9. Builds trust and rapport among people
10. Makes some women pee uncontrollably
11. Makes some women take their clothes off
12. Releases endorphins-the body’s natural pain killers
13. Makes chimps jump up and down and shake trees
14. It’s contagious
15. Improves function of blood vessels
16. Reduces road rage and feelings of anger
17. Is unavoidable when taking LSD and other hallucinogens
18. Gets men out of trouble. Second only to flowers and diamonds
19. Makes abdominal muscles hurt
20. Is the only exercise couch potato’s get
21. Makes people wonder what’s so funny
22. Draws a crowd
23. Causes explosive expulsion of food from oral cavity
24. Causes explosive expulsion of carbonated fluids through nasal cavity
25. Promotes peace and good will
26. Enables people to keep sanity
27. Has no effect on wild stampeding herd of elephants
28. Causes spontaneous flatulence during sex
29. Related to thirty-two choking deaths per year
30. Has antidepressant qualities
31. Great way to pick up chicks
32. It’s free except in comedy clubs
June 17, 2012
Somebody call an ambulance?
Saturday, 6/17/12
Welcome,
My name is Mike Cyra and I'm the author of the ebook, Emergency Laughter.
I talk about what everyone talks about...thngs they are passionate about.
What am I passionate about? Right now, paying my rent is on top of the list, that and getting wonderful people like you to talk about my book with their friends, because, amazingly, my book is what's paying my rent. (I can't believe it either!)
I'm passionate about how many children die each year because some dumbass adult didn't have working smoke and carbon monoxide detectors in their home. Or they didn't change the batteries in the detectors when....
POP QUIZ
When should you change the batteries in your homes smoke detectors?
a. in a couple of years
b. every 3 months
c. your meth lab was setting the alarms off, so you don't have batteries in them
d. when you change your clocks in the spring and fall.
Answer D. CORRECT!
I'm also passionate about....
Welcome,
My name is Mike Cyra and I'm the author of the ebook, Emergency Laughter.
I talk about what everyone talks about...thngs they are passionate about.
What am I passionate about? Right now, paying my rent is on top of the list, that and getting wonderful people like you to talk about my book with their friends, because, amazingly, my book is what's paying my rent. (I can't believe it either!)
I'm passionate about how many children die each year because some dumbass adult didn't have working smoke and carbon monoxide detectors in their home. Or they didn't change the batteries in the detectors when....
POP QUIZ
When should you change the batteries in your homes smoke detectors?
a. in a couple of years
b. every 3 months
c. your meth lab was setting the alarms off, so you don't have batteries in them
d. when you change your clocks in the spring and fall.
Answer D. CORRECT!
I'm also passionate about....
