P.J. Jones's Blog

My newest parody (6000 words) has just released for only 99 cents! The Vampire Handbook, features bonus reads: The Zombie Handbook and the Were-Thing Handbook. No one is spared in this one: The Twilight Saga, Casey Anthony, Justin Bieber, Anthony Wiener, Kim Kardashian and more...

http://www.amazon.com/The-Vamp​ire-Handbook-ebook/dp/B005D14X​PO/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&qid=131​0916312&sr=8-14

Synopsis:
So, after a painstakingly long soul-searching (at least five minutes) and after grappling with the possible fate of your immortal soul (who cares if you’re not going to die, anyway), you’ve decided to become a vampire.

Congratulations!

But before beginning that dark and shadowed journey into a life of eternal damnation, every vampire is required to read THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK, a short step-by-step guide to becoming a vampire and then adjusting to the bloodsucking lifestyle.

Some of the helpful tips in this handbook include: Rules for Living an Environmentally Friendly and Urbane, Undead Lifestyle, Dietary Restrictions for Vampires, Engaging in Battles with Other Immortals, Rules for Fitting into Society and not Scaring off Potential Meals and much more...

In addition to THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK, you will also get THE WERE/SHAPE-SHIFTER HANDBOOK and THE ZOMBIE HANDBOOK as well as a few sample chapters from my sparkly vampire parody, ROMANCE NOVEL.

Well, a writer friend told me a few weeks ago that Romance Novel is missing a huge market since it mostly parodies a certain sparkly teen vamp saga. To say the least, I've been hesitant to market the book toward that fan base. Though most of those readers are over 18 now, I know the saga probably has a continual cult following of impressionable young readers.

Do I dare use a cover that would appeal to them? How can I not when I know I'm missing out on a large number of adult readers? Finally, I came to three conclusions.

1. Deadward is an environmentally friendly, disco loving vampire.
2. There's a part of me, and it's a pretty dominant part of me, that thirsts for more sales.
3. Teenage girls who are downloading books to their Kindles need their parents' credit cards. Hopefully, their parents are irrevocably and unconditionally not allowing them to download adult books. Besides, I'll put a disclaimer in the blurb that this is an adult novel.

Sooo...Poor Flabio will certainly NOT be happy with me when he discovers I've traded his moobs for a were-gerbil, but business is business. Sorry Flabio. I am about 90 percent sure I will change the cover. What do you think?

And since I SUCK at adding images, you will have to view it HERE:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S_ZECQwO-_U...

Guess what? Today I'm blogging about my paranormal romance parody, Romance Novel, with Desiree Holt today! Leave a comment for a chance to win a Starbuck's gift card. PJ http://www.desireeholttellsall.com/




And please stop by my awesome Goddess Fish blog tour for more chances to win!

6/20/2011 Desiree Holt Tells All
6/21/2011 Sugarbeat's Books
6/22/2011 Alisha Paige
6/23/2011 Sue Perkins, Fantasy, Romance & Young Adult Author
6/24/2011 Sexy Adventures, Passionate Tales
6/27/2011 Book Junkie
6/28/2011 Grace Elliot
6/29/2011 Lisa Haselton's Reviews and Interviews
6/30/2011 BK Walker Books, Etc.
7/1/2011 Misc. Ramblings

Having published five books under another pen-name through a publisher, I thought I'd share my reasons for believing self-pubbing through Kindle/Nook/Smashwords really does ROCK.

http://pjjonesramblings.blogspot.com/...

Having published five books under another pen-name through a publisher, I thought I'd share my reasons for believing self-pubbing through Kindle/Nook/Smashwords really does ROCK.

http://pjjonesramblings.blogspot.com/...

Which drivers annoy you? Read for a good laugh and pass it on...

http://pjjonesramblings.blogspot.com/...

My response to Andre Jute's prediction about ebooks and calling us Kindler's 'hillbillies'.

I ain't too happy 'bout him calling me no hillbillie!

http://pjjonesramblings.blogspot.com/...

Cyberlaunch at Author Island today. You might win a free Romance Novel download and a Starbuck's gift card!


http://www.cyberlaunchparty.blogspot....

But more importantly....Is Flabio a real cover model? How can an unwed virgin mother conceive an illegitimate child and still retain her flat stomach and perky breasts? How many landfills can one vampire fill in an eternity? Why must all hunky single millionaires live in Texas? What's that awful smell? These questions an many more are all answered in Romance Novel, my new parody.

Thanks for buying my book readers and a BIG thank you for the awesome reviews. Keep 'em coming, PURTY PLEASE!!!

ROMANCE NOVEL IS only 99 cents! I'm tacky AND cheap.


Here's the Amazon Link to purchase:
http://www.amazon.com/Romance-Novel-e...


Here's the Barnes and Noble link:
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Roma...