Sangay Glass's Blog - Posts Tagged "green"

You've been warned to run when you see red flags in a potential relationship, but we rarely discuss the green flags. Green flags help you decide whether a potential partner is a good match and will treat you right.

Human beings are complicated. Unlike most animals, we can camouflage our dark sides through deception, manipulation, and gaslighting.

But there are signs that can bring a sense of relief by letting us know we can breathe easily around someone we don't know very well.

The Good Ones Respect Boundaries

Say your love interest wants you to attend a family gathering, and you think it's too soon.

First, if you feel comfortable saying, "I'm not sure I'm ready to meet your family," your heart has already spoken loudly and clearly, saying, "This one is okay."

When that person respects your boundaries, they will be fine with your decision, which might sound like, "Sure, maybe some other time."

That response raises two green flags: one, they heard and supported your decision, and two, they already see you as someone they want in their future. If you're game, there's your keeper.

They Remember Little Details About You

Who doesn't want to be happily surprised by someone they care about? When someone cares about you, they're listening and will let it be known in small and big ways to bring you happiness and a sense of being valued.

You might've mentioned that you like hiking, and they spontaneously say, "Let's go hiking this weekend." Or they may bring you to a sunflower farm because you said you liked sunflowers.

Even better, listen to them and return the favor. Listening and using those little details will strengthen your relationship.

You Feel Energized When You See Them

Endorphins (feel-good hormones) are high when you're happy.

Naturally, when you start a relationship, hormones will peak. So, it's difficult to distinguish between a new rush crush on a red flag or the cozy warmth of a green flag.

One way to figure it out is to process how you think about them when you're alone. Green flag feelings don't involve anxiety about what they're doing without you or worry that they won't call.

Early on, your thoughts and feelings should match the high you feel when you're with the right person or without them.

The book, Kate, Blue Jeans, and a Single Shot is almost a manual for red and green flag spotting. If you read it, post your findings here. But please read the trigger warnings first.

That's it for today, but there's more to come. So, stay tuned for the next post, where I discuss the nitty-gritty of green flags as the relationship progresses.

And don't forget the Goodreads Giveaway for Kate, Blue Jeans, and a Single Shot, where all the green flags fly high, is still on. Join my page for details and other blog posts.