Sangay Glass's Blog - Posts Tagged "marital"

In the breakout novel Kate Blue Jeans and a Single Shot (KBJSS), a powerful narrative about the struggles of a woman in an abusive relationship, the character Kate Hill knew what her husband did to her in their bedroom the day before she disappeared was wrong.

Like many women, she considered casting the incident aside. What would she say if asked by authorities, "I think my husband r@ped me."

It's taking a while for laws to catch up, but spousal r@pe is a very real problem and a traumatic experience for women across the globe. A study concluded that 10-13 percent of married women have been coerced, shamed, and outright r@ped by their husbands. Further research found that husbands who sexually assault their wives are also more likely to K!ll them.

The sad truth is this issue is rarely addressed. You chose your partner. You willingly participated in sexual relations at some point. But then something changed. You said no, and he didn't listen. He got rough and ignored your pleas to stop. Whatever way it started, you know in your heart it needs to end. Your courage in facing this trauma, right now, is a testament to your strength and resilience.

It's very confusing and frightening, and as an extension of mental abuse, you're left emotionally numb or full of anxiety. You're forced to feed and face this monster every day. You can't get away. Furthermore, as a human being, intimacy is something you still might crave, but you're at odds with yourself and your needs.

There are others who have walked this path and emerged stronger. You can too.You're not alone. I've been there. You can recover. But where to start?

I'm leaving this resource for you to start. It's a comprehensive guide to understanding and recovering from spousal rape. help for women in marital rape situations

You are different from the target audience for the book KBJSS. It might be too much for you, even with a happy ending. I wrote it for awareness. I wrote the book in real-time as it was happening to me. The more people who know about it, the more people will understand what you're going through.

That's the other problem. Friends, relatives, and even your doctor probably won't understand your trauma. But you are not alone. If you need to reach out, I'm here. Take advantage of any opportunity you can to get your life and body back. Continue your search for resources. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but a step towards healing and recovery.

Please take the first step towards healing, because things can and will get better when you do.

References:[1] Bergen, Raquel Kennedy, "Marital Rape" on the site of the Applied Research Forum, National Electronic Network on Violence Against Women. Article dated March 1999. (Retrieved February 8, 2005.) [2] Easteal, P. Voices of the Survivors, Spinifex Press, North Melbourne, 1994.