S.P. Mount's Blog

Santatool & Santascrape
Given my experience with the company that supplies these.Beware! Image credit Amazon.ca

So, with the onset of Christmas, most of us look for stocking stuffers, little things, gadgets whatever, and what I’ve seen all over the Internet - as I do every year - is this attractive little gadget pictured above. The one I saw on the company's website that this blog post pertains to–which is almost exactly the same picture as the one above–is called the santatool...

(I'm not using any of Santatool's images, which I would think they themselves have no right to use, given the other places I've seen them used. All images here are in the public domain).

Santatool's logo is similar to this - pic courtesy or picpng.com

Perfect for someone I know that might actually get some use out of this little multi tool designed to look like a snowflake. It even comes in a little decorative box and actually fits into a stocking. 

 

This year I decided not to wait until Christmas Eve to get everything done, and so when I came across this site -  santatool - advertising on Facebook, I was, at first, a little wary, as I am of most sites that advertise on social media.

Looking up which Company they appear to be under the umbrella of, it appears they might run a bona fide business. So then I look at all the comments. I see the moderator, who goes by the names ‘Santatool’ and Santascrape very kindly takes the time to answer the most perfect questions any company could ever hope to be asked from a marketing perspective and subsequently responds with the most perfect answers we all would like to hear–including an assurance that delivery would be made before Christmas. 

In fact, the confirmation stated it would only be 2–5 days by DHL as they (apparently) have manufacturing and distributing facilities in Canada – where I am – as well the US & Australia. 

So I think to myself, I think, well, it seems safe enough. 

I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

 Facebook message, this time about santascrape, from another unsuspecting customer.

 

Against the better judgement I would usually exercise, I bought the santatool... but only because it wasn’t like I was making a major purchase about which I would be a lot more sceptical of sending large amounts of money to... after which a message popped up to inform me I'd unlocked a special deal for another tool–a santascrape used to de-ice your vehicle’s windscreen. Yay, score! The video, and again, the comments, look great, so I also decided to purchase this neat little thing as a stocking stuffer for another friend. 

 

Altogether they cost just shy of Cad$30.00. Not bad for a couple of little stocking stuffers, I thought, very pleased with myself that I wouldn’t have to go out any more than I needed to in a Covid infected world.

Duly, I received an email confirming both orders with a link to track them–but not through DHL as one might expect, and which is always suspect. No, this 'tracking' was only on Santatool’s own website. They said it would arrive between 16th and 20th December.

Cool, I thought. Very efficient. True to what they assured customers about on their Facebook posts.

 

Again, I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

 

I checked every day; the message stating the items were out for delivery–until it didn’t, and that message was replaced by the most ridiculously specific message I have ever seen from any company. A message, I feel, is purely intended to give people all the feels to make them not complain when products bought for Christmas didn’t show up anywhere near the promised delivery times. 

"Oh that poor driver, puts it all into perspective doesn't it?" One can just hear the most gullible people say.

(I wonder how many times they’ve used this over the years?)

Needless to say, I found it laughable that, even if it were true (and you can make your own mind up about that message) regardless, I mean... what professional company would actually write such a thing on their so-called tracking? 

 

In my mind, and not because I can (normally) detect suspicious behaviour a mile away, I don’t believe a word of it. What I personally believe is that Santatool's promise to deliver before Christmas is a ruse to get people to buy. And people throughout the Facebook ad comments asked, “will this be delivered in time for Christmas?” to which they are told not to worry, it will be there on time. Delivery 2 – 5 days.

Yay - Not!

 

Now, these items are no good to me after Christmas. They are intended as stocking stuffers after all. I bought them in good faith based on the assurance they would arrive before Christmas. I ordered in very good time on 13th December. Even if they were to be a little late, it wouldn’t matter. Sh!t happens. I get it.

 

But it begs the obvious question; why these items are now taking up to an entire month to get here even if that poor driver was killed? Why don’t they just send replacements in another 2–5 days? Isn't there a driver who wasn't killed? The reason of course, in my opinion, is that they were always intended to take a month–if they would even ever arrive at all. 

 

Their listed ‘head office’, of course, is in China. No surprise there, really. And I rather suspect there is no facility in any of the countries they mention. I suspect because if people knew these items were being shipped from China, cheapo novelties like these couldn’t possibly be expedited across the world in a matter of days. It just wouldn’t make financial sense. The 'slow boat to China' saying suddenly makes sense – or in this case, from China.

 

But anyway, still working on the fake 2–5 days delivery premise. If they’re going to take a month, then I can simply cancel and get a refund. Right? They obviously haven’t sent them yet. Right?  But of course, that is much too logical when dealing with a cowboy outfit like this one appears to be. 

 

So, I employ the use of their chatbot which states I would normally receive a reply in a matter of hours. I think; cool, they’re busy, maybe at the driver’s funeral or something? I can wait. But then the entire day goes by. I send more messages. I send emails. No reply. Zilch. I then decide to comment on their Facebook post to warn others that everything they are being told there by Santatool may not be as promised. Dunno why... just a feeling really.

That’s when I notice that those perfect email questions all sound oddly similar... you know... just the right kind of questions... albeit to my suspicious mind seeming a little manufactured. Many comments have the same slight misuse of English grammar that Santatool & Santascrape use in their various responses to people on their Facebook ads.

(Now, I can’t quite work out how they can have so many different Facebook users commenting if that were the case, as when I look in-depth into some, they do seem to be older accounts with what appear to be genuine posts–unless of course I was just really unlucky and chose genuine comments to look into from people who’ve received these items in the past or there is some way to make it look genuine, like people on Twitter do to appear to have more followers). Nonetheless, that's beside the point.

 

There are absolutely incredible reviews on that Facebook post, though. Even one person drowning in a car who didn’t need any strength at all to use this small santatool to easily smash the window and escape. (Have you ever seen videos of people trying to do that? Like, for real? Apparently, it's quite impossible). But hey, this kind commenter on Facebook just tapped the glass, no less. Wow! Good for them. Thank you santatool! Well worth the $20.00 they spent. We should all keep one of these things in the car in case Google maps goes a little psycho, drives us into a lake, over the ocean or a windy cliff.

Others have ordered multiple tools, can you believe? I couldn't. 5 & 6 of them even. That’s how fantastic these things must be. Some people say they want even more to keep handy all over the house because you'll never know when you'll need one. To boot, the people who received them as gifts are, apparently, positively orgasmic over them. It really is the best Christmas ever, and it's all due to these tiny little novelty tools. Why spend money on anything else ever again?Maybe Santa himself enchanted these gadgets at the North Pole? Who knows for sure? Magic is real, after all... well, according to my 10yr old nephew.

But you know what… my less than complimentary comments were deleted within a minute. (If only they’d been that quick to respond on their chatbot, or to one of my many emails. But still, they were probably grieving the driver’s untimely demise and the loss of all the products they said got smashed on his truck). 

 

I thought it strange, though, reading through all these amazing comments, that while there were some angry face emoticons, there was no negative comments to accompany them. Emoticons can’t be deleted, which sucks for Santatool, but it also made me realise that I have wondered about this before with other sponsored ads on Facebook. Why so many angry emoticons, but only positive comments? Now I know... and so do you. They're simply deleted. 

The moderator, 'Santatool' and undoubtedly simultaneously 'Santascrape', obviously gets rid of any comment that exposes what are most likely lies in my opinion, as are any poor reviews–such as the usually congenial santa/tool/scrape moderator apparently did with my own comments, and even that of one lady who was also asking if they’d be delivered for Christmas who thanked me for letting her know because she actually got to see my message before it vanished from all existence. (Glad I helped at least one person from being scammed with regard to delivery times). 

Typical of the question asked about delivery, and the response.

But then... two can play at the deletion game....

In terms of actual delivery, I can’t speak to that as of course I never received these items. Regardless, like I said, they are cancelled as far as I'm concerned. I wanted my money back, but also wanted to express my dissatisfaction as a matter of principal and not just with santatool/scrape. Why do Facebook and other sites allow these sites to advertise? (I was in touch with Facebook about Santatool, and while they thanked me for reporting them, and said I was entirely right to, we all know Facebook don’t really care). Still, it wasn’t enough. I hated the appalling lack of customer service from santatool/scrape, and I needed to have it out with them. I just hate stuff like that and my OCD disposition just won't do an Elsa and 'let it go'. (I never watched that movie incidentally, so hopefully the reference is accurate enough).

 

I spent another day sending messages through the chatbot as well sending emails, but still received no response whatsoever. I assured santatool/scrape I was not going away, and I started sending any message at all to get their attention until finally someone did respond. Nice as pie: (although I think it might have been the mention of Trump that did it). 

 

“Hi, S how are you doing today?” (or something to that effect).

The nicety, despite the fact someone calling themselves 'John Louis' can see all my many previous messages demanding a refund as well my messages about Taisha, the Bachelorette. And if you're so inclined, or bored, you can read all the screenshot messages of how I decided to bug this company into answering me at the bottom of this page). (Right now I don't have the time to format these into some neat little orderly pile... but I will, eventually. I published this given that the company actually had the gall to email me to ask if I have done yet what I threatened five days ago when I told them my next move would be to flood social media, starting with a blog post).

Long story short, though, I then explained in civil terms I wanted a refund for their failure to hold up their end of our agreement. They gave no excuse; simply stating I had agreed to their policies by using their company and that refunds are only given after the customer receives the product.

Wtf? I mean, like... wt actual F?

I informed them that terms and conditions like theirs do not form a legal contract. (Companies can state they demand your first born or your soul in exchange for a bar of soap all they like if they wanna, but it’s not legally binding).

Santatool did not live up to their end of the agreement–in that they promised Christmas themed items delivered to me prior to Christmas and therefore anything they think they may have legally underwritten on their website to counteract any kind of claim would be null and void – even if it were a legal contract–which, again I stress it is not–and which my credit card company entirely agreed with so as to promptly refund me, they failed to live up to their end. 

It is clear to me personally that this company simply take advantage of us at Christmas, and, I suspect, throughout the year with whatever other products they hock. As far as I can see, they spew lies and mislead unsuspecting consumers with false information that this 'company' if indeed that's what we are dealing with here, knows they want to hear, but with no intention of following through. 

 

I warned Santatool I will do everything in my power to inform possible future consumers of my experience with their practises, not only for this year, but for perpetuity, with the help of modern technology – social media and the use of tools like metatags which would easily be picked up by Google from anyone doing a search for their products in the future (such as how you might have found this page?). But I guess they didn’t believe me.

However, can you believe "John Louis" (if indeed that is his real name, and incidentally, differing only from the John Lewis department store in London by the removal of a vowel and the insertion on a consonant? ) even emailed me after five days of silence for my part enjoying my time off for Christmas knowing I have my refund already, but not actually forgetting my promise, to ask if I actually followed through?

Wow! I guess they felt a little smug that I had made just an empty threat? Nah... I don't make them. They don't know me, even though I told them at the time they don't know me, but if they did... well then....  I'm one of those people who can hold a grudge for eternity. (Not to say I always do, just that I can, but I will in this case).

How not to interact with a dissatisfied customer
I GUESS YOU HAVE YOUR ANSWER NOW, YOU COMPLETE TOSSER.

Ahem... anyhoo....

 

How professional is that? (Re: their comment, not mine!) Judge for yourself if this is a company you want to send your money to. 

 

Of course, I was always going to post this blog, and perhaps this completely unprofessional cowboy outfit underestimate the damage a little post like this can do, but trust me, while I don’t use this blog much at all, having removed the many posts I wrote over the years,  I do nonetheless see the thousands of visitors that viewed the page I wrote for the last company that 'done me wrong'. I guess blogging is still useful for some things.

'Metatags' and 'labels' are wonderful little tools – even more useful than the santatool I would wager - and what is even more wonderful is that as they crawl the labyrinths of the Internet, infusing themselves into the nooks and crannies of the ones and zeroes like little mini viruses gaining findability momentum throughout the search engines.  How great is that?

Just in time for next Christmas, and the one after that, and the one after that….

So whether you read blogs or not, this post, in the future, will surface like a corpse in the Dead Sea for anyone searching either for santatool or santascrape. It will rise right to the top.

 

Incidentally, here’s a site (I don’t believe is part of the same company) that sells the exact same thing. What I like about them is that they're actually honest about the amount of time they take to send these items. How refreshing is that? Also, not that I overly encourage buying from Amazon, but you can purchase these items on there as well, and you can (mostly) trust their delivery time.

Interesting though, that the reviews on Amazon, as opposed to Santatool's Facebook ad, are not quite as glowing; many saying there that the tool is mostly useless for anything other than serving as a keyring; the dimensions are off. I also saw many, many sites where this novelty item is offered for much, much cheaper than santatool's site. You might wanna check out your options, because the price you pay through Santatool, is, apparently, costed into this much cheaper than they advertise gadget.

Ain't no such thing as free shipping.

 

Finally, if you dig deep and look into https://snowflake-tools.com/ – which appears to be the 'parent company' for Santatool/scrape and look at their general shipping info not advertised on their offshoot sites, you will see the table below, where nothing is promised with a 2–5 delivery, not even with the excess shipping charges - in fact, it takes up to 3 days to prepare items for delivery! Be warned.

 

Begs the question then... why is the congenial host, Santatool and Santscrape on Facebook, promising people 2–5 days?

Hmmmmm….?

(P.S. If these items somehow get delivered when I am not present to refuse them, Santatool need not think I will to do a single thing about helping to have them sent them back. As far as I'm concerned, they can arrange the return themselves – right down to writing the return address on the frikkin' package. I will NOT be lifting a finger to help... not even the little one that doesn't do much else these days - not since I stopped partying a number of years ago anyway.)Thank you, and safe shopping.
Do your research before responding to a sponsored ad on social media.

 

Secrets in the Shadows - Heige S Boehm






The telling of this coming of age story was a rare and refreshing treat. It depicts, through a unique lens, a side of WWII from the perspective of innocent boys carried away by a false sense of glory at the prospect of serving their country–until reality sets in.

Right off the bat I was transported into the colourful village and everydayness of not just the main characters’ lives, but the storekeepers, the mailman, the farmers…. I felt the rush of excitement, wonder, anticipation and naivety of two boys eager to proudly serve their country as part of the Hitler Youth Organisation while still living in a familial environment and getting up to hijinks… until it all turns sour.

Written in English, nonetheless, one can’t help hearing the myriad of characters as being German; their dialogue authentically delightful, their innocence captured perfectly as we get a true, beautifully descriptive insight into ordinary family life as the onset of the horror of war starts to change everything.

The beauty of the characterisation doesn’t fall short either when, inevitably, the ugly nature of otherwise regular people turned authoritarian emerges to juxtapose the sweet innocence of the story at the beginning of the book–a father, a schoolteacher and other youth whose newfound honour transforms them unrecognisably through a misguided sense of power as the story progresses and turns dreams to nightmares. A time when pride turns to prejudice, innocence to guilt, and a sense of honour, re-evaluated.

One is impressed by the meticulous research, and indeed, an admirable list of acknowledgements indicates just how much. But more, it is evident this story has been told from the personal insight of the author through family connections, and one can just tell, an insight that is very dear to the heart.

A wonderfully uplifting, yet heartbreaking story for young adult and older readers alike.

Get it on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2V6btlA

So proud to see my name on this badass book trailer video from the team at Xchyler Publishing in which my story 'Black Ice' will appear.The book will be released on 31st January and you can join in on the festivities, with the seven authors and even win some swag from all of us.  
Take a look and watch right to the end after the credits.Enjoy


x
Here's the invite to the release party - everybody's welcome.

~*~
On this blog, I often use the metaphor for my writing journey, as being a trek through a mountain range. I’ve detailed hikes over tried and tested paths, sometimes even trying to clear my own, through the Alps for years - 750 miles across eight Alpine countries. No mean feat.I related, in a previous blogpost, about the various stages of metamorphoses of becoming a writer, as being akin to what animal spirit guides represent - starting out as a lone wolf, and everything in-between, until eventually soaring as an eagle.But I also said, that when I reached the other end of the Alps, there were a couple of condescending Sherpa waiting there for me - meaning of course, that the writing journey never ends. I had yet to embark upon the precipitous terrain of the Andes.That’s where I’ve been for the past few months. I left off detailing this journey, here on this blog, with the news that I had decided to try and get a publisher. And I did. For, despite my efforts at self-publishing, and trying to keep up with the constantly evolving paradigm that the role social media demands of most anything these days, I felt I was taking one step forward, and two back, for that particular trek was all a bit arduous for my artistically-inclined sensibility.I’ve always known that the business side of anything is not where my talent lies. I just can’t commit myself to facts and figures and social media marketing etc. despite my best efforts. And anyway, there were too many other writers doing the same thing. I needed help. Badly. Thank God for the Sherpa.But let me tell you, the air up there in the Andes is thin - and I’ve only just started out.As you can see, my name (very proudly) appears on this book cover here - a fantasy anthology, from Xchyler Publishing. The book release party will be held on 31st January 2014. My story, at 15,000 words, is the last in the book, and is called ‘Black Ice.’ The eye in the sky - I dare to think - might just have something to do with my particular story, and below, is a quick blurb about it:A murderer, sentenced to ‘infinity’, lobbies an automaton society and the omniscient supremacy of three worlds in the hopes of finally being put to death.The process of editing wasn’t easy for me. I will admit. But it took me completely by surprise at what a prima donna I became during it – although my editor, self admittedly, did come in off the bat with a bleeding red pen, which she had the good grace, and professionalism to apologize for, and pointed me to an article that she’d written about how devastating that can be to a new writer – or at least one embarking the professional world – or, if you like, the Andes.And after a mix of emotion, that had my heart thumping, and my psyche going to dark places that I never knew existed, and I thought I had been to them all, I nearly self-destructed - as my pride can sometimes make me do. I had so looked forward to this part of the journey, but I came to realize that I was being weighed down with the baggage from the last one. In the end, it was ‘all good’. We moved upwards and forward, and I told her to ‘bring it on’ - after being pushed in at the deep end, I felt I could handle anything. And I did. But still, surprisingly, it wasn’t as easy for me as fellow authors with Xchyler had told me it had been for them. And so I couldn't help but feel rather inadequate.Being British, was a little bit of an obstacle, I think, for even though I’ve lived in North America for twenty years, and thought I knew how to relate to both sides of the pond, there were so many idioms from the UK that I had no idea were not used in the US. And here, rather suitably, is what my editor said about that:“Let's stick to the fish and chips and dark ale, and steer away from the blood pudding and haggis.”Lol.But more, I think, while good writing should know no borders, I do believe that there is a distinct difference in style between British and American writers, and that might have been at least a part of the issue for me. I hope so.However, without going into it all here, I am signed with an American publisher, and so fair enough; I should try to adapt. Compromise.My biggest fear, though, was that my voice would be lost, the one that I took pleasure in yodelling across the Alps. I did not want to, as I said to my editor, be yet another monotone voice that simply follows a formula, be one of those writers whose voice blends in with every other. While formulas are necessary, I do like to add my own ingredients. I like to make the recipe my own - like my world-famous chilli, or my spaghetti.I can be more aggressive than most. I know. I am more willing to be slightly politically incorrect. Audacious. And I do like to inject a generous helping of humour into my work. But I get it; it’s not always suitable. And so with the assurance from my editor-in-chief, that she is not, by any means, a ‘MacDonald’s type editor’, saying that the reason my story was accepted (when I pouted as to why exactly was it? Lol) was because it was ‘original, imaginative, clever, intelligent and engrossing, but what needed doing is clarification and communication.’She assured me that I would be very pleased with the end product, and that my voice would remain intact. I was. And it is. And I am now very excited for the book’s release.During this process I learned a great deal about myself, and it elevated me to new heights on my writing journey. I won’t go into it all here, there’s not enough space. But one day . . .I do want to say, though, that a lot of what I brought along from the Alps needed discarded. That it used up too much precious oxygen. Short quick breaths are what are needed for the Andes. And while it will take a great deal of time indeed to cross the longest mountain range in the world – 120 miles long, 430 wide - I’ve learned to pause and take in the views. I’ve learned to breathe new life into all of my writing - old and new - from the invaluable knowledge that I’ve gained from reaching a new plateau. So a big ‘thank you’ to all my editors.If you’re reading this, and have always believed that you have the ability to self-edit (and its way more than just correcting grammar and punctuation etc.) if I were you, I’d really rethink that; you may have no idea, like we do when we’ve been driving for years, just what bad habits you’ve picked up, or think are acceptable. Habits that have never been pointed out to you–e.g. by writer friends, who, in this self publishing world, may have the same tendencies, or who may not know any different.

It may not be a picnic with a red chequered blanket - rather bully-beef rations served up at base camp - but it certainly helps to satiate the hunger.Xchyler Publishing edit the works that they are publishing only, but if you are looking for the services of an affordable editor, I suggest you might try here: Jeri Walker-Bickett. An editor whose professional standards, in all aspects of writing, I've come to know over the last couple of years. You might be surprised at just how polished your ideas can become. I was.

I've long since admired Jeri Walker-Bickett for her dedication to writing, her professional approach to editing and her efforts at promoting the work of other Indie authors.  It is my pleasure, therefore, to be able to review her short story collection - light literary pieces that are easily read in one sitting.  These stories reflect on everyday events that might have a bigger impact on who we are as people, they are observational and insightful and Jeri's ability to paint the scenes with a fine-edged brush is a pleasure to read.
My Review:
Such is Life is an appropriate title; the stories concentrating on everyday matters that most might find insignificant in the first instance.  And therein lies the skill.

At first, when reading `Pretty Girl' and `Leaving Big Sky', I wondered if I was going to enjoy this collection as much as I was hoping to; becoming slightly weary of the descriptiveness of seemingly irrelevant body language, regardless of how well applied, and also because both of these stories, I thought, kind of left me hanging... wondering about the point of them... until I remembered the synopsis; this collection simply about being human - which then made me take a different view on the relevance of them and the deeper implication; the everyday actions and choices we make in life that might have some kind of bearing on who we are or what we become, but in terms of the underlying sentiment of these stories, the finer nuance of interaction between the characters, it became clear, was vital.

Moving on, I then thought that descriptiveness acted as a kind of precursor for the next three stories, building up to me having an appreciation of Walker-Bickett's style - which is crisp and linear.  And while also literary, one doesn't have to think too hard to engage with it; the writing, flowing well, is easily understood, this descriptiveness with more relevance to the bigger pictures - almost as if Walker-Bickett had been building momentum; merely teasing the reader at first.

And as the stories became slightly more intense, darker even, I found myself thoroughly enjoying the collection.  I appreciated in particular, the odd edgy scene thrown in here and there; a word or reference sticking out like a sore thumb almost juxtaposing the innocence of the writing style that I'd thus far seen, and that had me saying, `yeah... that's more like it'.

Being Scottish, I found the attitude of the Mormon community in `Not Terribly Important' quite fascinating (and, incidentally, an overall southern feel to this collection, which was quite insightful for me.)  Ironically though, given the loud and clear message in that story, that fiction is fiction, I couldn't help but feel, as I smiled throughout, that it seemed almost cathartic - such was the conviction of the sentiment.  All in all though, it kind of made me think, such is life indeed - a brainwashed, exacting, society, whose youth, especially, seem preoccupied, excited even, with all that they are taught to hate.  Humph.

I was really immersed in `For the Love of a Dog', and that situation touched me a great deal. I found the characterisation far more invested - and as it was in the last piece also,`River Walk' - in that both women in the first two stories felt too similar for me to separate in my own mind.  However, I felt the desperation of both respective main characters in the last two, in very different ways, and, in `For the Love of a Dog', the mentality of a pitchfork wielding society - which also had me reeling about the ridiculousness, largely, of humanity at large.

Overall I enjoyed these stories, they evoked emotional responses, and I read them in one sitting.

Finally, I will say that the excerpt from Walker-Bickett's upcoming novel, `Lost Girl Road' - a ghost story - held my attention (surprisingly, for me, because it is a ghost story) the style being used there - the third person omniscient point of view - my personal preference. Together with the immaculateness of her writing, I think a longer piece such as this, with the opportunity to develop characters fully, will be thoroughly enjoyable..

You can find out more about Jeri at her blog here.

Note to self – Never ever publish tiny edits at midnight or thereafter – at least in the sample chapter that’ll appear on Amazon - for what was otherwise a typo free manuscript (yeah it was!) suddenly becomes glaringly obvious and potentially off-putting to anyone happening along.Such was the case with one book this morning I noticed when I went into see what I’d done last night – somehow another 'me' coming into existence in the wee hours with a different opinion about everything – but the word ‘dated’ instead of ‘dared’ appearing very early on, which made absolutely no sense – and the kind of thing that makes my heart lurch.  (You can read about all the 'me's here, in this blog piece entitled Me, Me, Me.)So, I mean, where the hell is the grammar check function on Word when you really need it.  But oh-no, its too busy insisting sometimes that you change what is an otherwise perfectly legible sentence to something utterly ridiculous  (which actually I find might mean the problem lies elsewhere; a missing comma or something and not the structure of words at all, but still…) for despite the fact I know the programme is there mainly as a helper, I still need to get rid of those red squiggly lines when they appear, always bowing to Word's high and mighty f**cking superiority.  Lol.And is it just me… has twelve point text become more like eight?  I can barely see that anymore.  I’d been typing in fourteen for the longest time because of that and recently have had to increase that to eighteen, having to remember to change it back to the industry standard of twelve at the end – and once submitting a short story to a publisher without having done so – and of course they just happened to be one of those anal retentive types who insist that you format exactly the way they dictated or they'll bin you immediately.  Frikkin’ publishers!I have to admit though, with my new version of Word, I hadn’t really explored it until recently; thinking, ‘yeah, yeah, yeah, they probably only moved things around a bit, nothing’s really changed’, only in the last few weeks discovering the ‘focus’ feature, which brings the document up my screen like an e-reader and the text larger looking and very reader and edit friendly.There’s a writing mode and a reader mode – although I still prefer to use eighteen-point even in that mode as I can sit back and read and edit comfortably instead of giving myself constant headaches like I always have with my nose pressed up against my very bright 28inch iMac – and of which I only also just realised that it would be a good idea to adjust the glare of to deal with that.What happened to me; I used to be so computer savvy – I was the ‘go to guy’ ‘chic geek’ in the days when we all connected to the Internet by phone?  What happened to my ability to write in twelve-point without squinting?  Huh?  Frikkin’ Word!  Frikkin’ deteriorating eyesight!I find though that writing and reading my work back in Focus mode is most definitely a great way to catch all the little errors that most people will point out to you when they come to read it on an e-reader etc. - and, strangely enough, something I’ve long since noticed when I’ve uploaded a piece to a writing site or whatever; a more eye-friendly platform really changes the story, one can tell that the flow is different; makes what might be improved outside of typos or punctuation so much more obvious than just working in Word without the ‘focus’ feature on.  My only gripe with that mode is that it doesn’t have that ‘show/hide’ function available  – and I rely on that for formatting.I don’t even want to know if all my previous versions of Word had this function, because if they did and I didn’t use them, I only brought my eyestrain and migraines upon myself all these years.  And as I type, I’m also searching for a bona-fide reason to blame Word for my tennis elbow – but if not caused by that, certainly sitting here with such an intimate relationship with the programme making my arm feel as if rigor mortis has set in, continues to exacerbate it.  Frikkin’ Word!  Thank god for jumbo-sized tins of soup my Chinese mom brings me – good for something at least (I use them as weights for my tennis elbow exercises, in case you didn’t get that, because the thought of meat in a tin swimming in what was no doubt a large vat of various other things in a factory somewhere appals me.  But then, I always was a picky eater.)But I think my biggest gripe of the morning lies with Amazon Kindle, ‘cos, getting back to that sample chapter that is currently there for everyone to see with the word ‘dated’ instead of ‘dared’ in it as I wait anxiously to be able to upload a correction, why exactly does it take twenty-four hours (or so) for them to allow you access again after each and every submission?  Huh?  I mean… it’s not like anyone is physically checking them or anything.  It’s the same if you only upload a new cover image; you have to wait if you want to make any little changes to your manuscript.  Why?  Isn’t this all done by computers?Smashwords is great that way; changes are instant.  So why not Kindle, I ask?  Why do we have to wait forty-eight frikkin'  hours for the initial manuscript to even appear, and then between twelve and twenty-four hours thereafter for any changes we might wanna make?  Huh?It’s kind of like banking though; any money coming out of your account vanishing instantly when you make a payment, but takes five working days when you want to transfer it from your higher interest savings account or if an authority of some description needs to refund you.  Why?  But that’s another gripe, another day.The good thing is that The Moon Doesn't Shine has been doing very nicely in the UK and the US (or at least dotcom) and that's great; but its particularly gratifying to see Prickly Scots Pt II selling well too after me having made Pt I free* for a number of months as a marketing strategy, because that was the book I wrote before learning how to write professionally and subsequently tried to change accordingly as I went through my writing journey before finally deciding to let it fly free because it was like painting the Golden Gate frikkin' Bridge; never ending.  But most of all because it is my baby, my first born, and for people to want to get Pt II is one of my favourite things to see.  

I do actually drop in there on occasion to visit my earlier writing self and because I miss the characters ; always uplifting even if I do say so myself; but it's like going home.  I have started a Prickly Scots Pt III - at the request of some readers... but that might take a while.... ooh, I just got emailed from Amazon; I can upload my edited manuscript... it'll only take a few hours for the changes to reflect in the sample.  Frikkin' Amazon Kindle.  Lol.Anyhoo... just felt like rambling on a little this morning... have a good day yourself.


*Free only at Amazon dotcom, I believe, and even if it doesn't look like it is, it is, you won't be charged, but for the rest of the world you can get it at Smashwords, Kobo, Nook, Barnes & Noble or iTunes etc. Promotion ends October 2013, and ps: If you have an older copy, some changes have been made recently, I'd suggest you get the newer one).

I haven’t done a piece on my writing journey for a while, but after something that happened last week, it brought to the surface an instance that annoyed me greatly from way back in 2011 when a ‘so-called’ reviewer – and I mean an unqualified person who advertised themselves as such in exchange for free books – 'reviewed' one of my books based on only having listened to it as opposed to actually having read it in the traditional sense; having her e-reader’s unemotional voice relay it, while, I imagine, she did her vacuuming or something. Don't get me wrong; I know audio books are popular; I just don't write them, but if I did I can imagine I'd need to bear that in mind during the writing process; make it listener friendly. How do I know she listened to it?  Part of her review made mention of how funny it was to hear the e-reader speak in Scottish vernacular where I'd used that.  Granted that would be funny, but to say so in a review as one of the things she enjoyed most?  Huh.  Perhaps I could have had a wheel going round and round for her amusement instead of the clever interaction of the characters that I did.I said nothing about it at the time because I’ve learned from the writer’s site that I used to participate in through the early years of my journey, not to engage in conflict over the Internet – usually nothing good coming from that – but the situation from last week pushed me over the edge a little, and so I do have to vent at least a little – I mean, after such good behaviour online for years, I feel I’m entitled to a minor rant every now and then; gives me character (or at least displays more of its true nature.)  Lol.But really, I do find that pouring out my occasional woe into the vastness of the blogosphere is like a tourist in Mexico pissing into the ocean; the acidity of a day drinking cuervo dissipates into nothingness almost instantly there as you go back to basking comfortably in the sun.  And talking of oceans, certainly this person’s ‘review’ from all that time ago has clung like a barnacle to the debris from Japan washing up on British Columbia’s shores right now.  Time to clean it up, air it out, power wash the crap away like they did from that Harley Davidson motorcycle.Don’t get me wrong, her review was actually quite good, she enjoyed the story overall and even said that a certain demographic would love it, the content just wasn’t for her; calling it ‘man humour’ and slagging off ‘the so-called ladies’ in that book for having the odd audacious thought – which was, largely, the entire point I made in its synopsis (back then). She gave it three stars, which isn’t bad, and in fact balances the five and four stars there.  Yet, shortly after, I saw her rave about Fifty Shades of Grey; giving it a resounding five stars whereas the majority of readers have slagged it off for the poor writing, and where, rather ironically, I thought, she loves that the female MC gets up to all sorts of crude and lewd activity – from what I understand; the sample chapter being quite enough for this discerning reader.  What… because the book is more geared towards thefemale interest in sex?  But I can totally see why one could ‘listen’ to such a book; there is, apparently, nothing literary in it to get any juices flowing other than the obvious ones.My point is, I’m more literary than most, I have come to realise that I need to simplify my stories for a more laid back kind of reading experience, and I can understand why many people these days are actually able to ‘listen’ to a book - from what I’ve seen emerging as the new norm – in that most indies are written in an amateur first person style such as Fifty Shades is: ‘I did this, I did that, I blinked… etc.’ Fine, easy to listen to, perhaps the onlyway to ‘read’ such stories, but when a writer implements deeper meaning, creates sentences perhaps intended for the reader to sit and contemplate, even re-read, then it has to be digested by the eyes to be absorbed into the soul; these are intended to put the reader into the story.  I mean, listening to your girlfriend’s description of some hunk that came by to take care of her dripping pipe wouldn’t be as satisfying as actually standing over that plumber while he was on the job now, would it?  Admit it.  Same thing.  But I don't mind; after all, I take solace and pride in the fact that my writing has been mentioned by notable people in the industry, a Poet Laureate, international best selling author over decades of the books 'Princess' and 'Growing up Bin Laden' among many others, Jean Sasson, to mention but two.  Why, I even passed with flying colours, the entry tests set by a company in San Francisco - Hyperink.But back to the point of all this, recently I answered a call for submissions; writing 10,000 words in 24hrs because I only saw it the day before, I could have written 5000 but went full steam ahead, and long story short, the publisher loved it and is going to use it as the title/cover story for one of the anthologies.  The story was as perfect as I could make it in that short time frame, albeit in my traditional style, a tad complex, and one that many don’t, or yes, can’t, use, but the writings of H G Wells were given as an example of what was actually wanted for these intended books.  Fine, that’s right up my alley.  Usually I’d take weeks, months even, to pour over anything, but it was alright; the rubric said that first drafts were entirely acceptable as they’d be going through the editing process anyway.So, anyhoo... after all of this, now in the actual process of it all, despite me putting the publisher in touch with a professional editor who’s agreed to work with one of the anthologies, what do I get?  A wannabe editor who’s taken some classes and whom immediately I worried would not be able to get my style after looking at her own website, and, let's just say, less than stellar writing in the samples of her own works there.  However, fine, I will go with it and see what happens; easygoing for the most part about such things; one is usually better with other people's stuff than their own work after all.  In the meantime the publisher sends her all of the stories he wanted her to content edit, mentioning that one of them was a story that another editor refused to work with.  She assumed, when she came to mine, that was the one he was talking about, no doubt because I didn’t use a ‘cat on the mat’ style of writing, and the way she referred to it and to me was highly insulting in emails that were probably never intended for my eyes; assuming that I have never written anything in my life before, and referring to my piece as my ‘little darling that I probably wouldn’t want touched,’ also saying that it was too old fashioned; that I needed to write for a modern reader – and by that I can only assume she means YA, or the lesser educated – which I don’t generally do - but anything more literary, out of her realm - and most certainly wouldn't want touched by her.Although, in those emails she admitted that she'd only had her machine read it to her – bear in mind that this is a highly complex story, containing actual physics, backstory, deep meaning about the future of humanity and all kinds of other sophisticated stuff that was, quite simply, obviously beyond her comprehension; the notes she did make, even from the simplicity of the first paragraph, making it clear that she hadn’t actually ‘listened’ to it at all, saying that it was 'all telling' – something I do not do; well versed in various forms of exposition thank you very much, but misinterpreting the fact that it was written in omniscient voice and not the first person voice she no doubt expects or is used to.  I get it, they're on a tight budget; but the cost of having my work messed around with by a person like this, is far too high for me to pay.The two thing she got right, was in saying, ‘she wouldn’t have a clue where to start,’ and that 'this could be a much larger book.'  The publisher wrote back to her telling her that he loved the story, which was why it was to be the title story, the style being what attracted him to it in the first place; that he completely connected with everything, the character especially, that she mentioned had no substance.  Hah!  Characterization is what I'm (semi) famous for.  As a result, the subsequent emails from her changed their tune even if they were now trying to save face; willing to work on it all of a sudden.  Hah!  No chance!  If he sent me her emails, then no doubt she received my choice words in response too; no way could she ever look at my story objectively now, not even by actually reading it, for that’s the impression she gave me about who she was – the quintessential mean girl who slags people off behind their backs and retains resentment, despite the initial sugary sweet and, apparently, helpful email she sent to introduce herself.  But further, while I am always open to critique and suggestion, completely welcome it; part of the never ending writer’s journey after all, I have come too far to have it thrown into the hands of someone less qualified than me who simply want to exercise their community college course training in their first editing job ever.  Overzealous, not to mention not trusting her own opinion; backtracking on realizing this was not the questionable story mentioned by the publisher.  But then, the point of this little rant is just that; I can’t help but feel many people who advertise themselves as reviewers and editors are no more qualified to do so than many writers out there are who have never taken even a writing class to learn the fundamentals yet blatantly advertise themselves as successful authors - and the mood I'm in I so wish I could name names right now, but will exercise decorum.Maybe I’m wrong, but I really don’t feel an editor or reviewer should simply switch on a robotic voice to read a writer’s work to them while they go about their other business… doing the dishes… whatever.  .. when it is not in fact intended as an audio book - and maybe not even then.  And in the case of reviewers, such as the one I mentioned earlier, if the genre of the story is not one to your taste, then perhaps discern that from the synopsis, or at least comment on the level of writing as well, don’t just concentrate on the negative, the aspects of someone’s hard work that you personally don’t like to read; take the time to learn what a real review should be; earn your free lifetime supply of books if you're going to call yourself a reviewer.  In this case though, I really don’t mind; anyone who thought Fifty Shades of Grey was the best thing ever really doesn’t belong in the same circles as me; I can see why my writing wouldn’t appeal to her, and so have removed myself from her social media - and since, systematically doing the same with others as I come to see posts and statuses that have no bearing on who, or where, I am on my own personal journey, and, using the ocean analogy, avoiding that tsunami of irrelevant to me information that you see daily and have to cling to a tree trunk to survive.Getting back to my 10,000 word story; I have told the publisher that I will not work with this person and that I remain indifferent about having my piece in the anthology if he has a problem with that; I will withdraw it.  My first hissy fit actually, and making me rather uncomfortably seem like a prima donna, because I’m not... truly I’m not; can look at my own work objectively, know what’s good and throw out what’s crap; I do it all the time; I love people more trained than myself to offer pointers and to critique honestly.Where am I left?  He really wants the story, and has invited me to take the time, given the 24hrs in which I wrote this draft (thankfully now with the privilege of a few thousand extra words that will help me to simplify it, and which I know really needs done for easier reading in general as I can be convoluted, I fully realize that – but then, the very reason my work should be read and not ‘listened’ to - grammatically correct as it stands or not).  He suggests that I work with someone on my own if I want, that if we can get it to a publishable state then it won’t need to go through another editor – but even if it does… I welcome it; just make sure they’re qualified more than I am to judge/wanna change it; I don’t write half-heartedly; to coin a cliché, I put my heart and soul into everything I do write (and don't orate).  It would be nice to have that reciprocated by so called professional reviewer/editors - their resulting opinions, good or bad - but then, the people I mention here are hardly professional, are they?  I suppose we have to get used to that.

I found myself writing a response to another blog that posed the question 'are e-books too cheap?'  As usual my reply ended up being longer than their article and so I’m posting it here instead.  But the simple answer would be 'yes, yes they are.'
There is of course a lot of ranting about this subject matter in my world - indeed done so myself here in the past - something, actually, that I can scare myself with, ranting, in terms of just how well I can do that.  But that kind of honesty isn't received very well in general in a largely passive aggressive society; does nothing for my online presence, so I refrain from it for the most part these days.  With that in mind, I won't go on too much.
There's varying reasons as to why books are so under-priced but it never fails to astound me that the level of work that goes into creating a (well written) book is so undervalued - and not least of which by the author themselves. 
What other profession where such high level of skill is demanded can be paid for by the consumer with only pennies?  It's offensive to me that people think nothing of paying $5.00 or higher for a cup of coffee that's been generically percolated in minutes - oftentimes more than once a day - and yet balk at paying $2.99 for a book that's been months, or even years, in the making, a product that can provide days or weeks of pure reading pleasure that can induce a better high than caffeine, or even accompany that if you're like me and totally addicted to the stuff - but something definitely wrong with that picture - the book thing, not the coffee; nothing wrong with that at all.
Even if you have written an amazing book that should sell at a comparatively decent price, unless you have the art of marketing down, and even then, you probably won't sell any more even if you do completely under-price - that's one mistake authors make all too often, I feel.  Make it free, in general, for whatever reason (and there may be some validity to doing this for promotional purposes) and many won't value it at all - in fact whole forums dedicated to listing freebies on a daily basis are filled with people 'over-frothing' their e-readers for the sake of it - are they really going to even look at a book priced at the outrageous sum of 99c when they have so many freebies readily available in the hopes that they'll find the odd gem?   Frankly, I'm amazed that books are even allowed to be free on an on-going basis by the distributors.  What else in this life is?... well... outside of all that insightful enlightenment you hear about.  And if some people are so unimaginative that they can't manage to find any of that for themselves... wellthen... they should have to pay for gleaning it from others who work extremely hard at depositing their insights and inventiveness in the form of stories.  Just sayin'.
Unfortunately one reason is because of the slush pile available publicly; authors feel pressured into lowering their prices, trying, and usually failing, to get noticed.  Why should the reader have to pay for your work when they can get something else for nothing, or next to it?  Yes, outrageous to have to pay for the months of very real slogging that a true writer undertakes to bring you a story.  Indeed, I hope the comic books are separated from the encyclopaedias sooner rather than later - perhaps when untrained writers come to realize that it might be easy enough to publish a book, but not so easy to create a product that's actually worth the time they spend doing that, that they're simply bogging the rest of us down, those of us who are serious about it; striving to be the best writers we can be, not just for our benefit, but the reader's too.  Surely to God that's worth the pennies lying around in your car's coffee cup holder?
Did I say I wasn't going to go on too much...?  Ah well.

Wednesday 10.00amMy…. acquaintances… shall we say… for I no longer have friends, per se… can call me obsessive compulsive.  I’m not.  Just dedicated.  Usually finish what I started.   That’s supposed to be a good thing.  Right?  Granted they do try to counteract what is really intended as an insult by adding ‘…but in a good way.’  However, as I look around me, at my life, how it’s turning out since I started my writing journey about seven years ago, I think they might be spot on; I’ve let everythingelse slip… and not least of which, my physical self.  This is an addiction, no joke about it anymore like I used to say; I'm being entirely serious; the effects as potentially damaging as many other, frowned upon, addictions.If I have a resolution - which I don’t normally make simply because it’s a new year - for 2013, it’s that I have to balance my love of writing with what pays the bills, what inspires me… what keeps the weight of my erstwhile slim waistline – which is kind of funny because I don’t really eat, never have… but the old metabolism, that used to beat any amount of calories into submission singlehandedly, has started to turn traitor.I've been 'binge-writing' recently, been obsessed, had one of those bouts that last a few weeks where everything else goes to hell and time has no meaning.  The result... even though I have an ergonomic chair and desk, all the poise in the world, what feels like some kind of a hip displacement!  That's new!  I've found that kind of writing really is detrimental to my health: headaches, eye strain, tennis elbow, stiff joints, nodules in my right arm where it leans on the desk, weight gain (yes, despite the fact I don't eat) hair loss, baggy skin...  sore ribs... or somethin'... I could go on.  But that's all going to change; yes, this year I'm getting back into jogging and other stuff that will balance what should be my real life with my writing one much more fairly, much more healthily.Today I have to do my taxes – an infinitely hated task that despite the relative simplicity of when I do get around to them, are seven months overdue - as reminded by Revenue Canada last week - a letter I’ve long since expected - insisting I file a return – and which I’ve resolved to do right now, today, but in my obsessive compulsiveness, well-versed in the art of procrastination with everything else these days other than writing - and especially when it comes to facts and figures - I’ve found myself compiling this article instead.  Yes, indeed, a true addict.But I will do them; I don’t want to get up in the morning anymore and dread having to, because that’s the first thing that pops into my mind, and I am, believe it or not, a responsible citizen… or at least I used to be... when I was part of society.My taxes are filed in plastic bags, the odd liquor store and Safeway ones, garbage bags, even - perhaps the writer in me; a metaphor for what I really think of taxes - and, in ink, the year scribbled less than eloquently on the outside before being tossed into a little office in my workplace that I don’t use except to hide things I don’t want to see.  If I’m ever audited, that’s what they’ll get; garbage bags and less than well-kept records that are, actually, probably to my detriment.  Yes, I am a CRAP businessman.  Hate that side of anything, even in writing… hate promoting myself, my books, hate having to do the marketing… all of that stuff.   But there comes a time you have to bite the bullet.  Today’s that day, and for all my love of sitting and writing, still trying to procrastinate even now, I'm glad I'm the kind of person that can kick myself up the arse before it's too late.However, it’s struck me, if I were to put as much effort into my real life, my real relationships, my real business, as I do with writing, I’d probably be a highly successful, popular guy - at least in that weird way peopleused to be enamoured... or somethin'... by me.  I’d be slimmer, able to wear the fitted designer shirts in 'medium' from Italy that've been abandoned to the darkest recesses of my closets, the pair of jeans I've never worn, all of which, in lucid, occasional moments in the real world, have become but a pipe dream; remnants of a surreal memory of a more dynamic me that would go out of my way to do photobombs.  Not anymore; swiping away anyone's camera like Naomi Campbell to the paparazzi as soon as they come anywhere near me.But that’s all going to change.  Yes, cha-nge, I tells ya.   I’m going to start eating again too, proper food.  Maybe I’ll lose some weight; 20Ibs and climbing over what I should be; shocked to see too (as someone who didn’t lose or put on a single pound my entire life regardless of my habits) that even a ‘large’ won't tell the lie effectively.  And yes, it may not be much, but I watch The Biggest Loser, that’s how they all start.And so I feel I have been a bit obsessive, and, no; not in a good way at all - save your political correctness for social media - I see what writing is doing to me, how it's affecting me, snared me, literally, into its den, how my puppy looks at me, to say ‘oh, please, not again for fuck sake’ when I sit at my desk.  Don’t get me wrong; I know what’s important; he gets his exercise, and plenty of it, lovin’ too, but going to the park is becoming more of a chore than quality time for me, if I’m being honest, and even then, my mind teeming with clever anecdotes that makes me wish I'd brought a pen.  But that is the one thing that does make me sit and think about how much time I am spending writing, perhaps the catalyst that makes me come to this realization; for not only do I need to focus more on my lovely little dog, but on me, my old friends, my health, my business – which perhaps is in danger of being run so far into the ground that there’s an entrance into it from Australia, because I'm simply neglecting it in some ways.  After all, it is life, people, and the very art of living that inspire my stories; staying indoors writing for years on end, even as a highly imaginative person, is like never maintaining your car (which I also let go for two years until recently, used to do that every winter and every summer).  No, your mind needs ‘lubed’ as well, and perhaps parts of you too (get yours out the gutter) I mean like... aromatherapy... or somethin'... whatever, total relaxation, anyway.  A mental vacation.I think I’ve come far enough in this never ending writing journey, for it will be never-ending, apparently, that I can afford to calm it a bit now, stop obsessing, take time out every now and then, because I think I’ve become quite good at it, yes; I should reallyfocus on doing that – however ‘taxing’ it might be.Wednesday 5pmSo, in the process of going through every drawer, every bag, every room at both work and home, I not only got my 2011 taxes organised, but my 2012 ones too - six months earlier than I need to, which should make up for the six months I’m late with the 2011 return, don't ya think?  But I did have a moment of panic, starting to absolutely freak out when I saw the piles of receipts and invoices before me, but then, with my newfound attitude, nothing else to do, methodically went through it all, and surprisingly, rather enjoyed it.  I’ll file the return electronically tomorrow, for I most definitely have had enough now.  However, in the process, I found two un-cashed cheques, one from my 2010 taxes from the government for $179,26, which thankfully I can still cash over a year later, and one for just under $30.00 from another company which is only a few months old.  And if that wasn’t surprising enough, two of a number of old lottery tickets bringing me another $40.00 when I checked them - so I'm richer by $250.00 just by getting myself organized... the universe rewarding me for making the effort to come out of the dark shadows of my writer's mindset?  Don't be ridiculous; merely coincidental, shows just what a CRAP businessman I am.Now I’m off to have pizza and beer and watch the premiere of American Idol - the diet and exercise will begin after the taxes are filed; too much all at one time.  Yes, too much, I deserve a bloody break.Here is an article on the very serious matter of writing addiction.

You know, I actually felt a little bit of empathy for E L James when I saw Katie Couric interview her about her Fifty Shades series in front of a live audience; what struck me was, that here was a woman overwhelmed by the ‘relative’ success of her book.Love it or hate it, and I have to admit the sample chapter was more than I could get through because of the writing, but it was kind of painful to watch her try to be interested in talking about her book at all, in fact she spent most of the interview squirming, hardly did any of the speaking; guests and members of the audience, as well as Katie herself, doing it all for her while she swung her foot constantly, scratched her head and looked completely mortified while unable to answer anything she was being asked, trying to come up with clever automaton answers that were obviously feigned… like, 'Oh… I wouldn’t be able to say that on national television’, while Katie pushed for specifics about what her favourite sexual fantasy, and the like, might be, to which she finally responded she couldn’t come up with anything off the top of her head.The truth of the matter is, as perhaps, most writers will know, the worlds created in our books are separate from our real one, we expose our inner selves through our writing, cater to our imagination.  Mostly we’re shy and don’t take our stories quite as literally as our readership can, and with all the work involved, can even become sick to death of talking about them without a sort of used up enthusiasm.  There were spurts of E L trying to find a comfort level; joking around here and there with Katie in that English way that she would do more authentically with her best mates up the pub; 'Oh come on Katie...' she cajoled about something a tad risqué that seemed to be over Katie's pristine head despite her wearing a leather dress for the occasion - which actually she looked great in.  And I don’t blame her; questions from the audience including asking her advice on what sex toys to buy and what shops are best to get them from, plus talking about her characters as if they were real people, like, 'How could he be so rich being so young?' & 'How could she orgasm, as a virgin in a way that women haven’t been able to do after years?', her response, evidently annoyed, perhaps having been asked a million times; simply, that it's only a story, she’s not a sex therapist, only wrote the book for her own enjoyment, jotting down her own fantasies, and then she said, 'I would just buy a tie' - which was perhaps the one good response she did give.  Come on now... it’s fiction, people... learn to discern it from reality; after all, all those writers who have their characters hacked to pieces don't go around doing that, others not actually travelling to alternate fantasy worlds where people have names that could be across between Welsh and Klingon.  Do they?  She even said at one point that she really didn’t understand why there was so much hype surrounding this book; that it only started out as fan fiction after all... but that's mainstream publishing for you; people do get carried away because everyone else and their dog is; the art of brainwashing marketing techniques obviously still rife.  Still effective.  But I think what is evident, the hype, the thing that has come from this series, is a liberation of sorts for women to say its alright to speak about these kinds of bedroom activities openly now, the book simply a portal to that; E L James just happened along the way; acceptable to like something other than vampires now... and for many who weren't already doing it, the opportunity to write about their sexual fantasies freely for, from what I've seen, erotica, and or porn, huge amid writers currently.Small price to pay though, I would think, for this kind of success, to have to do the interviews, and so, while I do feel some sympathy for her, at least she can reap and enjoy the benefits when it's all over, even have a platform to jump from now to promote her future works.  I think most writers would envy that.