Loren Cribbs's Blog
May 29, 2025
Finding Joy after Divorce
May 5, 2025
Forgiveness After Divorce Is Like Sending a Letter You’ll Never Get a Reply To
May 1, 2025
Why real healing from divorce doesn’t come with a deadline
April 30, 2025
Brand Is Not a Logo. It’s a Strategy.
April 29, 2025
Divorce Podcast: Escaping from Troubles
April 22, 2025
Rise and Reclaim after Divorce Podcast
April 14, 2025
She Doesn’t Know it yet, but Renewal after Divorce is Possible
April 12, 2025
Loren Cribbs Wins Third Place Religion-Christianity for the Book Wings to Rise above Divorce at The BookFest® Awards Spring 2025
February 25, 2025
How to Rise above the Ashes of Divorce and Heartbreak
Have you ever heard of the concept of a phoenix rising from the ashes? It's a powerful symbol of resilience. Maybe when you think of this concept, you envision a fantasy novel on display in a bookstore. Best-sellers abound in the popular and trending genre. Many covers have embers and ashes, prey and swords making the genre known. The imagery of rising above gives hope for renewal, and outside of the fantasy realm, this concept is also symbolized during the Easter season.
As we approach Lent, many Christians begin to think of the time leading up to the resurrection. A rebirth and renewal after everything seemed dead. While I'm not a fantasy, fiction writer, I am a Christian, non-fiction author and used a similar analogy in my book Wings to Rise above Divorce.
When I was going through my divorce, I prayed Isaiah 40:31 over and over: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (NIV). These wings like that of a phoenix rising above the ashes are the ones God gives us to rise above trials like divorce and heartbreak.
When your marriage is in a crisis that ends in a devastating and painful divorce, your faith will be tested. This type of personal pain shakes the foundation of your faith making you question everything you may have believed and wondering thoughts such as "how could this happen to me?" or "I don't deserve this."
Divorce is a life-shattering experience. No matter if you wanted it or not, it's hostile or amicable, it still hurts. It's the death of something that once was alive. During Lent, we think of the painful journey and steps Jesus took leading to His sacrifice and death. While there's mourning and weeping, we know that joy comes in the morning and a resurrection awaits.
The emotional, physical, and spiritual toll you suffer during divorce can seem endless. You may wrestle with forgiveness, disappointment, and trust in God during your darkest moments.
When you have nothing else left to give and cannot feel any more pain, turn to God. Give Him your weak spots and your vulnerabilities, and let Him be your strength. He will give you the wings to rise above your pain, thorns, and ashes.
When you make the choice to fight for healing rather than letting pain and divorce define you, you are able to rise above. But doing this on your own is not easy--you need a supernatural force to help carry you when you cannot carry on. That strength can only be found in God.
Only God can give you the wings to rise above. Having people in your life who encourage you, check in on you, and can help you see the good again is so important. Never underestimate the value of a friendly ear or a smile when you’re at your lowest. When you feel hurt by a spouse, it’s hard to see anyone with a friendly ear or smile—or anything good in your future—but a friend or family member may be able to help you out.
Rely on your faith, God, and His provision to bring you a community of believers and wise counsel to help you heal on your journey back to strength and soaring. The courage you find when you rely on God changes your self-worth and how you view yourself after devastation like divorce. Your renewed sense of purpose turns that grip of brokenness into a major comeback.
Through my own experience with divorce and when I'm leading divorce support groups, I've noticed there are lessons we can learn from this healing journey:
Resilience: Pain doesn’t have to be the end of your story.
Faith in the Fire: Trusting God, even when life doesn’t make sense.
Healing is a Process: Having boundaries and not being on a timetable.
Purpose in the Pain: How your struggles can become your greatest testimony.
Although some of your stories have heartache to them, when you share them, you are able to testify not only about what God did for you but also what He is doing for others. It gives hope that you are not alone, and being alone or feeling alone is the worst place to be when you are recovering from a divorce. I know it’s hard, but I also know that God keeps His promises, and it’s not too late for you to turn to Him and trust His wings to give you strength and to rise far higher than you ever imagined.
Pilots may earn their wings at the Air Force Academy, but God’s wings and love are the only ones able to rescue you from despair and clear a safe landing from a hurting heart. When you hit a dead end in a relationship, you can either stop and stay stuck there forever, or you can turn around and try it on your own, or you can look to God for His wings to rescue you and place you on the right path. That thirty-five-thousand-foot view with God as your pilot will look a whole lot better than doing an about-face and walking in the darkness and wilderness alone. Whatever your darkness or wilderness looks like—separation, divorce, or struggling in marriage—God has a plan and a flight path to get you there without unnecessary layovers and reroutes.
As I mentioned above, I lead divorce support groups. During every cycle, without fail, Lysa TerKeurst comes up. Whether in a social media post, video, event, or one of her books, members are able to relate to her message. Because it's been a blessing to so many not only in my group but across the country, I wanted to share links to some of Lysa's books incase you haven't read any yet.
Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again.
It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered
Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are
You're Going to Make It: 50 Morning and Evening Devotions to Unrush Your Mind, Uncomplicate Your Heart, and Experience Healing
I Want to Trust You, but I Don't: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment
Because I'm an author and reader, here are a few more books to choose from on a variety topics including recipes!
The Essential New York Times Cookbook: The Recipes of Record
Counting Miracles: A Novel: If you are a Nicholas Sparks fan.
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
First Lie Wins: Reese's Book Club: A Novel
Simple Air Fryer Cookbook with Pictures: Easy Recipes
The All New Ball Book Of Canning And Preserving: Over 350 of the Best Canned, Jammed, Pickled, and Preserved Recipes
Trader Joe's 5 Items or Less Cookbook: Easy & delicious recipes
Wings to Rise above Divorce: Finding Forgiveness, Redemption, and Renewal during Turbulent Separations (my book)
Note: I may receive commissions on qualifying purchases through Amazon links above.
February 15, 2025
Thriving after Divorce: Singles Awareness Day
Singles Awareness Day can feel like a gut punch after Valentine’s Day—but it’s actually a powerful opportunity to celebrate personal growth and fulfillment. When you're divorced, you may find it difficult to reconcile your former married life and your new, single life. You can reframe this day as a time for self-reflection, healing, and stepping into a thriving, purpose-filled life.
Whether it's on singles awareness day or any day after your divorce where you are feeling like "single" or "divorced" become your identity, let these messages remind you that you are not defined by your relationships status.
Singleness can be a time of deep personal growth and purpose. We tend to think this before we are married, embracing singleness and using that free time in ways we may cherish. But when you are divorced, becoming single again may not feel like an opportunity. This time after divorce you can once again embrace self-discovery, independence, and adventure instead of feeling like you're in limbo. Even if your divorce is taking longer than expected or if you cannot imagine the good from situation, look to God for giving you His wings to heal you and help you rise again. This time can be used for God's glory and your good, bringing you closer to Him.
Your worth is not determined by your relationship status.
If you have to press on after divorce, you can do so knowing that you aren’t alone and that God’s love is with you as you advance to the life he has in store for you. You can move forward, not looking back to get stuck but to learn from what happened and how you will treat a future relationship differently.
When you go through a divorce or are single, you need to set boundaries with family, friends, and the dating culture. This comes in the form of dealing with pressure to re-marry again quickly or avoiding toxic relationship cycles you may have embraced in the past. You may even pick up new, bad habits. Following a divorce, you may be tempted to do whatever you want thinking it doesn't matter anymore, but that is not true.
It can be difficult to protect your emotional energy in a world that glorifies relationships. When you learn to understand the difference between healthy vs. unhealthy relational boundaries in dating, friendships, and self-worth, you will become more content and thrive in your singleness.
It’s never too late for a new beginning. No matter where you find yourself in your relationship—struggling in marriage, suffering through a separation, or finding your way after divorce—instead of focusing on timetables and arbitrary milestones, ask God where He would have you go.
Taking the time for self-reflection and healing from the heartbreak of divorce is necessary before you can move forward or you risk forming unhealthy attachment patterns. If you are getting divorced and can’t clean the crust from your past, you won’t be able to see through a clear lens.
Some practical steps include Christian therapy, journaling, faith, support groups like Divorce Care or church small groups, and embracing self-worth apart from romantic validation. Know that God created you on purpose for a purpose and that your identity is as as a Child of God and not "divorced" or "single."
When you shift focus from finding new love or forcing healing from divorce and instead learn to live in the moment and create a life that brings joy, meaning, and fulfillment, you will unearth flourishing possibilities. Some practical ways to invest in personal growth include:
Pursuing passions and career goals. Now you have time to reignite old passions you lost during marriage or discover new hobbies. You can expand your career, or if you're like me, you can start your own business.
Building strong friendships and a supportive community. You really do find out who your true friends are when you go through divorce. Hold onto these folks dearly. You may be tempted to hide or isolate, but we were designed for community--friends who can make you laugh or wise counselors who can help you process.
Traveling somewhere new. I decided to travel to a new place when I first was separated and then when my divorce was finalized. There is a certain independence you learn when you do this and gives you the confidence you may need after a divorce knowing you'll be okay. Your dreams don't have to die just because your marriage did.
Healthy people create healthy relationships, so if finding love again is something God calls you to, you will want to be fully healed and ready to invest in a new relationship.
You'll also need to recognize red flags vs. green flags in dating. Understanding these signals is crucial for navigating the complex landscape of romantic relationships.
Red flags are warning signs that indicate potential issues or unhealthy behaviors in a partner, which could lead to problems down the road. These may include controlling behavior, lack of communication, or distracting you from God. It's important to pay attention to these red flags early on, as ignoring them can lead to deeper emotional distress and complications in the relationship.
On the other hand, green flags are positive indicators that suggest a partner possesses healthy traits and behaviors that contribute to a strong and supportive relationship. Examples of green flags include open and honest communication, respect for boundaries, and a drawing you closer to God. Recognizing these green flags can help you feel more confident in your dating choices and encourage you to pursue relationships that are likely to be fulfilling, nurturing, and from God.
Being able to differentiate between red flags and green flags requires self-awareness and an understanding of your own values and needs in a relationship. It’s essential to reflect on past experiences and consider what you truly want in a partner. By developing this awareness, you can better identify the traits that align with your relationship goals and those that do not. Knowing how or why you ended up divorced, may be a good starting point.
Recognizing red flags and green flags is not just about spotting potential problems or affirming positive qualities; it's about fostering a deeper understanding of yourself and what you seek in a partner. This awareness can ultimately lead to more meaningful and satisfying connections in your dating life when you set relationship standards based on self-respect instead of the fear of being alone.
Here are a few ways you can embrace this new post-divorce journey instead of feeling sad on a day like today.
Set (or reinforce) one emotional boundary.
Do something that brings you joy and fulfillment today.
Affirm your value and purpose beyond your relationship status.
"Singleness is not a season of waiting. It's a season of doing." - Lisa Bevere
If you are struggling during this new period of singleness and are looking for ways to find forgiveness, redemption, and renewal, you can buy my book Wings to Rise above Divorce.
