Jay Clark's Blog - Posts Tagged "edumacation-blog"

Jay Baker here. Hey, stranger. It’s been an eon, sorry, I’ve been really busy still-sucking-at-tennis and having a real human girlfriend. Yep, a year later and Caroline Richardson is ALL MINE. When she isn’t at home with her dad, that is, haha, right, Mr. Richardson?

(Side note: Mr. Richardson reads this blog with a fine-tooth comb. I know this because yesterday he put his arm around me and said, “Jay Baker. I read your latest blog with my fine-tooth comb. Too many pop culture references. Who the hell is Anna Kendrick and why should I give a flying foosball?”)

Everyone’s a critic.

But not everyone would brush my hair with his actual fine-tooth comb afterward for emphasis and then challenge me to a game of foosball.

“That’s my dad for you,” is how Caroline explained it during our four allotted minutes of parentally unsupervised time together.

"Easy for you to say with your hair up in a bun,” I pointed out.

“True."

"Maybe I should start wearing my mange in a man-bun.”

Caroline shrugged and ran her fingers through my hair like, hmm, that could turn out to be a good decision…or a terrible one? I should let my best friend Cameo Appearance Parnell be the tiebreaker. Cam has really strong opinions about unimportant topics, and I mean that in that best possible shallow way.

“Do you care if I let Cameo be the tiebreaker?” I asked Caroline.

“I was just going to suggest that,” she said. And that, my friends, is one of the million reasons she’s too good for me.

So what else is new with Jay Baker? Still eating a lot of Pop-Tarts. Still doing the Dew on the reg. Still saying on the reg, I guess. Still rocking this sexy IBS-D medical condition. Oh, yeah, my dad bought me a Honda Civic today. Really nice of him. I’m grateful, I really am. No complaints. #Blessed. A car’s a car.

The only problem with this particular car that is now mine—I don’t think we can take it back???—is the color.

It’s teal.

Yes, I didn’t have to make a million Oreo Blizzards at Dairy Queen to buy it with my own money, that’s a fair point, but did I mention that IT’S A TEAL CAR THAT I WILL BE DRIVING TO A SCHOOL I ATTEND WITH MY JUDGMENTAL PEERS?

I have a hard enough time taking myself seriously—now I’m supposed to be serious in my tealmobile?

“Wait till you get a load of my new used teal car,” I texted Cameo.

“Did you say teal? TEXT ME A PICTURE,” she replied back immediately.

So I did, and Cameo said it reminded her of the Mediterranean Ocean.

“You know the Mediterranean’s a Sea, right?” I asked.

"I’m not a big fan of labels,” she said.

"Or geographical accuracy?"

"When in Rome … which I hear is near the
Mediterranean Ocean."

Cameo could go on this texting tangent forever, so I better change the subject back to what it was originally.

“What am I going to do about this teal car?”

"You’re … going to drive me to school tomorrow,” Cameo texted. "With sunglasses on so no one knows it’s you. I’ll sit in the back with my hand blocking my face, like I’m Ms. Daisy’s embarrassed granddaughter.”

“You’re a genius,” I replied. "By the way, should I start wearing my hair in a man-bun?

“Don’t you mean your Josh Groban curls?” Cameo said.

“What are you talking about, they’re not Josh Gro—I’ll raise them uuuuuuuup...”

I texted her a pic of my bun in the raised position. She told me to put it back in the oven and set the temp to OMG HAHAHAHA.

Like I was saying, everyone’s a critic.


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