Pinar Sayan

“Elbette annemin ölümü benim suçumdu. Her annenin ölümü çocuğunun suçudur. Bunu hem anneler hem çocuklar bilirler. Annelerin hayatları boyunca çocuklarına defalarca, "Seni ben öldüreceksin!" demeleri bunun peşinen kabulündendir. Bir anneye sarhoş bir sürücü de çarpsa, kocası yıllarca dövdükten sonra bir gün öldürse de, kadın amansız bir hastalığa da yakalansa, fail aslında hep çocuktur. Anne doğurduğu andan itibaren ölmeye başlar, çünkü o ölmezse çocuk yaşayamaz. Bunu her doğuran bilir. Ağzı söylemez belki, ama rahmi bilir, memeleri tanır, kemikleri hatırlar. Bazı hayvanlar reddetmez bu bilgiyi, hayatta kalmak için doğurdukları yavruyu yerler umursamazca. Kendi hayvanlıklarının inkarıdır insan annelerini böyle usul usul öldüren.”
― Burçin Tetik, Annemin Kaburgası

“In his extreme youth Stoner had thought of love as an absolute state of being to which, if one were lucky, one might find access; in his maturity he had decided it was the heaven of a false religion, toward which one ought to gaze with an amused disbelief, a gently familiar contempt, and an embarrassed nostalgia. Now in his middle age he began to know that it was neither a state of grace nor an illusion; he saw it as a human act of becoming, a condition that was invented and modified moment by moment and day by day, by the will and the intelligence and the heart.”
― John Williams, Stoner

“I am by nature an inward man, he said silently into the disconnected phone. I have struggled, in my fashion, to find my way towards an appreciation of the high things, towards a small measure of fineness. On good days I felt it was within my grasp, somewhere within me, somewhere within. But it eluded me. I have become embroiled, in things, in the world and in its messes, and I cannot resist. The grotesque has me, as before the quotidian had me, in its thrall”
― Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses

“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath