Tim Young's Blog

You know the scene…this storm comes out from seemingly nowhere and invades the disciple’s space. The violence of the waves begins to rise up pounding their boat, and the wind stirs a consuming fear in their present reality. Despite their efforts to control the boat, the storm pushes them off course out into the midst of the sea. Being the fourth watch of the night, they had been straining at their oars for hours and they were totally exhausted.

Then out of nowhere Jesus steps into the scene, piercing the darkness. Unaffected by the crashing waves around Him, Jesus approaches the boat on the waters surface, with an invitation to Peter simply just to “Come!”

Step out on faith and walk into your purpose.

—Germany Kent

Stepping out of the boat onto a surface he had no business being on, Peter begins his walk of faith towards Jesus. Peter does the impossible, but then things change when he takes his eyes off Jesus, his source of power and peace. Just moments earlier he was hiding in the boat from the storm and now the storm has fully exposed him. Jesus is showing him that what we fear defines the boundaries of our freedom.

Consumed by the storm raging around him, Peter begins to sink…Jesus reaches into the depths of the darkness and pulls Peter back to safety saying, “you of little faith why did you doubt?” When it comes to Peter walking on the water, people are quick to call him out for his lack of faith, but what about the others who stayed in the boat? If Peter had little faith, then they had none. It’s so easy to criticize others from the safety of the boat, isn’t it?

Here’s the rub…we all need to remember that we’ve been in this place before. We have all faced problems, a crisis or a storm before and we overcame them, forgetting how resilient and strong we truly are. We have all hit the wall without stepping into the tailwinds of God.

Imagine being the guys in the boat watching Peter and Jesus outside the boat, standing on water, having a conversation about faith? I could image Jesus sharing something like this with Peter, “you know before we go back to the boat we’re going to have a conversation right here in the middle of the miracle because I want you to learn how to trust Me!” Jesus wasn’t in a hurry; the wind was still blowing; the waves were still crashing, and the storm was still roaring all around them…and Jesus is having this conversation with Peter about his doubt and faith.

Most of us would rather have the conversation back in the boat, right? And then there’s Jesus who says that there’s no need to get back into the boat because you’re exactly where you need to be…having a conversation with Me! There was a distance between where Peter was and where he needed to be if he was going to walk with Jesus. Imaging the conversation Jesus has with him, “you think you’ve hit the wall and can’t go any further, but I’m not going to let you swim back and I’m not going to carry you back…you’re going to walk back to the boat with Me, step into My tailwinds and keep going!”

…And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.

—Matthew 14:32

Jesus and Peter walk back to the boat and when they’re back in the boat the winds die down. Do you think that’s a bit coincidental? Perfect timing? For the wind to be raging while Peter’s outside of the boat and then for the wind to die down when he gets back into the boat? Seems like Jesus was orchestrating the storm, doesn’t it?

Sometimes we have to face our fears, embrace the adventure, and take the plunge. But what holds us back from risking it all? How do we overcome our fears? What do we do when we doubt that the new chapter of life God is writing is for us? How do we keep our eyes focused on the goal when everything is trying to distract us?

For some of us, we don’t know how much faith is waiting to be unleashed in our lives, we don’t know how much strength is waiting to be unlocked with us. We don’t realize how resilient, how powerful and how strong God is going to reveal to you — who you are. He’s going to take you to the wall where you will think you have nothing left. He’s going to take you to the wall where you’re at the end of yourself where your worried, exhausted, depleted and then when you get to that point where your only choice is to trust Him with your life. This is where He will empower you and regenerate the strength inside of you…you’re going to walk back to the boat and go further than you ever thought you could go. I think this conversation took place to teach Peter to once again to lock onto who Jesus is.

We will never step into the tailwinds of God if we never pressed into that wall!

…Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.

—Matthew 14:33

Some of us are drowning right now, overwhelmed by life and suffocating! Jesus wants to meet us there to refocus our faith on Him! What’s interesting is when they get back into the boat the others don’t talk about Peter and Peter doesn’t take center stage. There’s nothing about Peter in the epilogue of this great adventure — it’s all about Jesus and maybe that’s why we keep missing our opportunity to step into the tailwinds of God because we think it’s about us, when in reality it’s about God revealing Himself in us and through us.

So, stop living small and ask God to take you to the limit, to the place where you’ve given everything you’ve got just to ask Him to meet you there in that moment! It is in Jesus where we can find the strength to push through that wall and press on. God wants to put faith and courage inside of you and He wants to take you to the edge of the wall and show you that there’s breakthrough waiting for you!

If we keep focusing on all the winds blowing around us, we’re going to just sink every time, but if we start paying attention to tailwinds that God is waiting to unleash within us we become unstoppable!

The time to play it safe is over! Get out of the boat, step onto the surface you have no business being on and focus on Jesus!

Pick up a copy of my book, Heartstone: A Journey out of the midnight of my soul.  

Heartstone is a journey of destiny, a story of a life turned upside-down for the best possible reason. Step into the story and discover what happens when a broken life has a head on collision with a broken world! [WARNING] This book isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those who have the courage to face life head on and walk it out with God!

The post Stepping Out Of The Boat first appeared on Heartstone Journey.
                

Has life punched you in the face so much that you’re ready to give up?

There’s this huge temptation that will permeate your space where you (and others) will convince you that you’re finished. That somehow life is too difficult and will fuel this overwhelming feeling to quit before you’re done.

So many of us confuse quitting with failing.

Though my own battles I can assure you that everything God wants to start inside of you He wants to finish through you. The question is, how much inside of you is not finished yet? Some of us have our deepest regrets because there’s so much unfinished stuff inside of us.

Life continues to erode at our will to continue to move forward and somewhere along the way we lose our resolve, our determination, our courage, our faith and convince ourselves that we’ve lost our opportunity…and we quit. We often step into the narrative that if God wanted it to happen, it would happen, right? How many of us think this way to protect ourselves?

God never has a crisis of faith…He just has a crisis of us!

—Erwin McManus

Let’s step into the story of Caleb, around Joshua chapter 14 where we find him refusing to quit when everyone else was done. Joshua and his leaders have stepped into the promised land and have seen battle after battle and conquest after conquest. We pick up in the story line where Joshua is at the end of this era and begins to divide the land up.

Then the people of Judah came to Joshua at Gilgal. And Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite said to him, “You know what the Lord said to Moses the man of God in Kadesh-barnea concerning you and me. I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the Lord sent me from Kadesh-barnea to spy out the land, and I brought him word again as it was in my heart. —Joshua 14:6,7

Many of us want to camp out on the facts alone, but we forget that the facts are always wrapped up in us. Ever wonder how two different people come back with the same facts and walk two different paths?

…but my fellow Israelites who went up with me made the hearts of the people melt in fear. I, however, followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly. So on that day Moses swore to me, ‘The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance and that of your children forever, because you have followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly.” —Joshua 14:8.9

Caleb is reminding Joshua of when Moses sent them out together to spy on the land and they were the only two that came back with a good report. All the others didn’t want to go there because they were afraid of what they saw and convinced themselves that there was no future there.

“Now then, just as the Lord promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the wilderness. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country that the Lord promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the Lord helping me, I will drive them out just as he said.” Then Joshua blessed Caleb son of Jephunneh and gave him Hebron as his inheritance. So Hebron has belonged to Caleb son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite ever since, because he followed the Lord, the God of Israel, wholeheartedly. (Hebron used to be called Kiriath Arba after Arba, who was the greatest man among the Anakites.) Then the land had rest from war. —Joshua 14:10-15

There’s something here that I don’t want you to miss, “…then Joshua blessed Caleb!” Not sure you caught this, but Joshua blessed Caleb by giving him territory that was still at war. That seems a bit crazy, doesn’t it? Joshua blessed Caleb by giving him another battle that he could step into. So often we think that when God blesses us, He gives us peace and makes things easy for us. So, what have you resolved to? A land of peace where battles don’t exist or a space in turmoil where you can bring the peace?

Caleb shouts out with volume and vigor, “I’M NOT FINISHED YET!” — and neither are you! I’ve had to battle through being born with a broken leg, growing up daily being bullied, sexual abuse, divorce, and a bout of skin cancer, etc. And I have resolved myself to a place where I’m still standing because I’m not finished with facing life’s obstacles!

Without the anticipation of better things ahead, we will have no heart for the journey.

—John Eldredge

Before you think about giving up; remember that God left Abraham with his knife raised…ready to plunge into Isaac’s heart (and Isaac waiting for the knife to strike…yikes!); He left Joseph suffering for years in an Egyptian prison; he allowed the Israelites to suffer 400 years of bondage under the Egyptians and leaves those same Israelites backed against the Red Sea with Pharaoh’s chariots bearing down on them. He abandoned Jesus at the cross and does not rescue Him at all. And then there are those of us who are groaning under the weight of life and things that have gone very wrong, waiting for that same Jesus to return and sweep us up with Him in power and glory. We often shout out in our weariness, places of desperation and pain, “How long, O Lord? What the heck!” — forgetting the epic ending to these stories.

So many of us forfeit our future by camping out in the bitterness of circumstances, which just fuels the demand to live in the past. I know life’s tough, but here’s some wisdom I learned along the way; God wants to do something in you and through you. And you must believe that your resolve, your perseverance, your pain, your sacrifice and your wounds are the very materials that God is using to accomplish this. Remember that there’s a contribution that God wants to make through your life, so when you get knocked down, get back up.

If you haven’t figure this out yet, God often calls us to battles where the deck is completely stacked against us, just to add drama to the story. And there is this clear picture, even from God Himself, that He does this to demonstrate His own glory. You need to decide in your own heart that you’re not finished yet and you will continue to run the race! No matter what life throws your way, lean into God, face the battle and never give up!

Pick up a copy of my book, Heartstone: A Journey out of the midnight of my soul.Heartstone is a journey of destiny, a story of a life turned upside-down for the best possible reason. Step into the story and discover what happens when a broken life has a head on collision with a broken world! [WARNING] This book isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those who have the courage to face life head on and walk it out with God!
The post Stop Focusing On The Finish Line And Run The Race first appeared on Heartstone Journey.
                

You know the scene…this storm comes out from seemingly nowhere and invades the disciple’s space. The violence of the waves begins to rise up pounding their boat, and the wind stirs a consuming fear in their present reality. Despite their efforts to control the boat, the storm pushes them off course out into the midst of the sea. Being the fourth watch of the night, they had been straining at their oars for hours and they were totally exhausted.

Then out of nowhere Jesus steps into the scene, piercing the darkness. Unaffected by the crashing waves around Him, Jesus approaches the boat on the waters surface, with an invitation to Peter simply just to “Come!”

Step out on faith and walk into your purpose.
—Germany Kent

Stepping out of the boat onto a surface he had no business being on, Peter begins his walk of faith towards Jesus. Peter does the impossible, but then things change when he takes his eyes off Jesus, his source of power and peace. Just moments earlier he was hiding in the boat from the storm and now the storm has fully exposed him. Jesus is showing him that what we fear defines the boundaries of our freedom.

Consumed by the storm raging around him, Peter begins to sink…Jesus reaches into the depths of the darkness and pulls Peter back to safety saying, “you of little faith why did you doubt?” When it comes to Peter walking on the water, people are quick to call him out for his lack of faith, but what about the others who stayed in the boat? If Peter had little faith, then they had none. It’s so easy to criticize others from the safety of the boat, isn’t it?

Here’s the rub…we all need to remember that we’ve been in this place before. We have all faced problems, a crisis or a storm before and we overcame them, forgetting how resilient and strong we truly are. We have all hit the wall without stepping into the tailwinds of God.

Imagine being the guys in the boat watching Peter and Jesus outside the boat, standing on water, having a conversation about faith? I could image Jesus sharing something like this with Peter, “you know before we go back to the boat we’re going to have a conversation right here in the middle of the miracle because I want you to learn how to trust Me!” Jesus wasn’t in a hurry; the wind was still blowing; the waves were still crashing, and the storm was still roaring all around them…and Jesus is having this conversation with Peter about his doubt and faith.

Most of us would rather have the conversation back in the boat, right? And then there’s Jesus who says that there’s no need to get back into the boat because you’re exactly where you need to be…having a conversation with Me! There was a distance between where Peter was and where he needed to be if he was going to walk with Jesus. Imaging the conversation Jesus has with him, “you think you’ve hit the wall and can’t go any further, but I’m not going to let you swim back and I’m not going to carry you back…you’re going to walk back to the boat with Me, step into My tailwinds and keep going!”

…And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.
—Matthew 14:32

Jesus and Peter walk back to the boat and when they’re back in the boat the winds die down. Do you think that’s a bit coincidental? Perfect timing? For the wind to be raging while Peter’s outside of the boat and then for the wind to die down when he gets back into the boat? Seems like Jesus was orchestrating the storm, doesn’t it?

Sometimes we have to face our fears, embrace the adventure, and take the plunge. But what holds us back from risking it all? How do we overcome our fears? What do we do when we doubt that the new chapter of life God is writing is for us? How do we keep our eyes focused on the goal when everything is trying to distract us?

For some of us, we don’t know how much faith is waiting to be unleashed in our lives, we don’t know how much strength is waiting to be unlocked with us. We don’t realize how resilient, how powerful and how strong God is going to reveal to you — who you are. He’s going to take you to the wall where you will think you have nothing left. He’s going to take you to the wall where you’re at the end of yourself where your worried, exhausted, depleted and then when you get to that point where your only choice is to trust Him with your life. This is where He will empower you and regenerate the strength inside of you…you’re going to walk back to the boat and go further than you ever thought you could go. I think this conversation took place to teach Peter to once again to lock onto who Jesus is.

We will never step into the tailwinds of God if we never pressed into that wall!

…Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.
—Matthew 14:33

Some of us are drowning right now, overwhelmed by life and suffocating! Jesus wants to meet us there to refocus our faith on Him! What’s interesting is when they get back into the boat the others don’t talk about Peter and Peter doesn’t take center stage. There’s nothing about Peter in the epilogue of this great adventure — it’s all about Jesus and maybe that’s why we keep missing our opportunity to step into the tailwinds of God because we think it’s about us, when in reality it’s about God revealing Himself in us and through us.

So, stop living small and ask God to take you to the limit, to the place where you’ve given everything you’ve got just to ask Him to meet you there in that moment! It is in Jesus where we can find the strength to push through that wall and press on. God wants to put faith and courage inside of you and He wants to take you to the edge of the wall and show you that there’s breakthrough waiting for you!

If we keep focusing on all the winds blowing around us, we’re going to just sink every time, but if we start paying attention to tailwinds that God is waiting to unleash within us we become unstoppable!

The time to play it safe is over! Get out of the boat, step onto the surface you have no business being on and focus on Jesus!

Pick up a copy of my book, Heartstone: A Journey out of the midnight of my soul.  

Heartstone is a journey of destiny, a story of a life turned upside-down for the best possible reason. Step into the story and discover what happens when a broken life has a head on collision with a broken world! [WARNING] This book isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those who have the courage to face life head on and walk it out with God!

                  

Has life punched you in the face so much that you’re ready to give up?

There’s this huge temptation that will permeate your space where you (and others) will convince you that you’re finished. That somehow life is too difficult and will fuel this overwhelming feeling to quit before you’re done.

So many of us confuse quitting with failing.

Though my own battles I can assure you that everything God wants to start inside of you He wants to finish through you. The question is, how much inside of you is not finished yet? Some of us have our deepest regrets because there’s so much unfinished stuff inside of us.

Life continues to erode at our will to continue to move forward and somewhere along the way we lose our resolve, our determination, our courage, our faith and convince ourselves that we’ve lost our opportunity…and we quit. We often step into the narrative that if God wanted it to happen, it would happen, right? How many of us think this way to protect ourselves?

God never has a crisis of faith…He just has a crisis of us!
—Erwin McManus

Let’s step into the story of Caleb, around Joshua chapter 14 where we find him refusing to quit when everyone else was done. Joshua and his leaders have stepped into the promised land and have seen battle after battle and conquest after conquest. We pick up in the story line where Joshua is at the end of this era and begins to divide the land up.

Then the people of Judah came to Joshua at Gilgal. And Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite said to him, “You know what the Lord said to Moses the man of God in Kadesh-barnea concerning you and me. I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the Lord sent me from Kadesh-barnea to spy out the land, and I brought him word again as it was in my heart. —Joshua 14:6,7

Many of us want to camp out on the facts alone, but we forget that the facts are always wrapped up in us. Ever wonder how two different people come back with the same facts and walk two different paths?

…but my fellow Israelites who went up with me made the hearts of the people melt in fear. I, however, followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly. So on that day Moses swore to me, ‘The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance and that of your children forever, because you have followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly.” —Joshua 14:8.9

Caleb is reminding Joshua of when Moses sent them out together to spy on the land and they were the only two that came back with a good report. All the others didn’t want to go there because they were afraid of what they saw and convinced themselves that there was no future there.

“Now then, just as the Lord promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the wilderness. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country that the Lord promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the Lord helping me, I will drive them out just as he said.” Then Joshua blessed Caleb son of Jephunneh and gave him Hebron as his inheritance. So Hebron has belonged to Caleb son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite ever since, because he followed the Lord, the God of Israel, wholeheartedly. (Hebron used to be called Kiriath Arba after Arba, who was the greatest man among the Anakites.) Then the land had rest from war. —Joshua 14:10-15

There’s something here that I don’t want you to miss, “…then Joshua blessed Caleb!” Not sure you caught this, but Joshua blessed Caleb by giving him territory that was still at war. That seems a bit crazy, doesn’t it? Joshua blessed Caleb by giving him another battle that he could step into. So often we think that when God blesses us, He gives us peace and makes things easy for us. So, what have you resolved to? A land of peace where battles don’t exist or a space in turmoil where you can bring the peace?

Caleb shouts out with volume and vigor, “I’M NOT FINISHED YET!” — and neither are you! I’ve had to battle through being born with a broken leg, growing up daily being bullied, sexual abuse, divorce, and a bout of skin cancer, etc. And I have resolved myself to a place where I’m still standing because I’m not finished with facing life’s obstacles!

Without the anticipation of better things ahead, we will have no heart for the journey.
—John Eldredge

Before you think about giving up; remember that God left Abraham with his knife raised…ready to plunge into Isaac’s heart (and Isaac waiting for the knife to strike…yikes!); He left Joseph suffering for years in an Egyptian prison; he allowed the Israelites to suffer 400 years of bondage under the Egyptians and leaves those same Israelites backed against the Red Sea with Pharaoh’s chariots bearing down on them. He abandoned Jesus at the cross and does not rescue Him at all. And then there are those of us who are groaning under the weight of life and things that have gone very wrong, waiting for that same Jesus to return and sweep us up with Him in power and glory. We often shout out in our weariness, places of desperation and pain, “How long, O Lord? What the heck!” — forgetting the epic ending to these stories.

So many of us forfeit our future by camping out in the bitterness circumstances, which just fuels the demand to live in the past. I know life’s tough, but here’s some wisdom I learned along the way; God wants to do something in you and through you. And you must believe that your resolve, your perseverance, your pain, your sacrifice and your wounds are the very materials that God is using to accomplish this. Remember that there’s a contribution that God wants to make through your life, so when you get knocked down, get back up.

If you haven’t figure this our yest, God often calls us to battles where the deck is completely stacked against us, just to add drama to the story. And there is this clear picture, even from God Himself, that He does this to demonstrate His own glory. You need to decide in your own heart that you’re not finished yet and you will continue to run the race! No matter what life throws your way, lean into God, face the battle and never give up!

Pick up a copy of my book, Heartstone: A Journey out of the midnight of my soul.

Heartstone is a journey of destiny, a story of a life turned upside-down for the best possible reason. Step into the story and discover what happens when a broken life has a head on collision with a broken world! [WARNING] This book isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those who have the courage to face life head on and walk it out with God!

                  

I have been walking the road of life for almost 50 years, pressing into God and seeking council from wiser men of character who have traveled the ancient paths that Jeremiah talks about.

“Stand at the crossroads and look. Ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it. And you will find rest for your souls.” -Jeremiah 6:16

Through good times, hardship and the fathering mentors God has placed in my path; I have discovered a treasure trove of counsel and insight I offer to share with other men who are courageously choosing to become wholehearted courageous men of God!

Men that want to take the “ancient paths”; the road less traveled. Men who want to lean into the Wisdom that God so wants to give them (Proverbs 2). Men who wants to walk blameless and who does what is righteous…and will never be shaken. Men who want to discover their authentic manhood in Jesus Christ.

Like the mentors that spoke into my life, Heartstone Journey is a place where I share my stories and my thoughts to help nourish others along the way on their own life path. Dallas Willard shares, “The most important thing in your life, is no what you do, it is who you become.”

Shake the dust off from your travels, choose to bust out of your life of mediocrity and start by breath in this poem by Sir Frances Drake;

Disturb us, Lord, when


We are too well pleased with ourselves,


When our dreams have come true


Because we have dreamed too little,


When we arrived safely


Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when


With the abundance of things we possess


We have lost our thirst


For the waters of life;


Having fallen in love with life,


We have ceased to dream of eternity


And in our efforts to build a new earth,


We have allowed our vision


Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,


To venture on wider seas


Where storms will show your mastery;


Where losing sight of land,


We shall find the stars.


We ask You to push back


The horizons of our hopes;


And to push into the future


In strength, courage, hope, and love.

…and then, take the journey — the Heartstone Journey.

Pick up a copy of my book, Heartstone: A Journey out of the midnight of my soul.

Heartstone is a journey of destiny, a story of a life turned upside-down for the best possible reason. Step into the story and discover what happens when a broken life has a head on collision with a broken world! [WARNING] This book isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those who have the courage to face life head on and walk it out with God!

                  

We are on a collision course with the the demise of our culture as we know it because there is an epidemic of men checking out! Far too many men have no direction or vision in life, are becoming emasculated at an epidemic rate and are scared little boys that have never crossed over into authentic manhood. In today’s postmodern culture the meaning and image of true masculinity is seriously getting diluted, tainted, watered-down and completely lost. Unfortunately the narrative that’s being played out today is ‘boys in men’s bodies’ with only a few wanting to be men…but not exactly knowing how, while others remain nonchalant.

Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.
-Stephen Covey

A common theme is that’s emerging is men and boys have become increasingly confused about their identity and role in today’s society. Fathers are not passing the mantle, media portrays men as incompetent, and society praises the “castration” of men. This subtle message has increasingly influenced the collective unconscious with devastating repercussions and young men have taken the bait of adverse societal cues as an excuse to avoid responsibility and never grow up!

For those young men who feel rudderless in today’s postmodern culture, here are some habits that will set you apart from the decaying norm and kick start your journey into authentic manhood.

1) Spend more time in reality.

Because men are losing a sense of accomplishment and challenge in society and within family units, way too many are turning to video gaming and virtual reality to escape the tightening noose around them. This isn’t a repudiation to gaming, but more a wakeup call to unplug more and spend time living life.

Many reading this might be thinking that I’m overstating this a bit, but the Pew Research Center found that 49% of adults play video games on either a computer, TV, game console, or a portable device such as a cell phone or tablet. Other research has found that approximately 88% of American youth play video games, and 8.5% of children and teens, ages 8 to 18, show signs of video game addiction. It can also also effect marriages if left unchecked!

Men, there is a need for accomplishing achievements and challenges in real life. Think about it this way, if you have a need to “level-up” go on real adventure or do it solving social problems that exist in today’s culture.

2) Find a mentor.

I believe one of the most valuable tools a man can possess in walking out this adventure called life is a mentor. Entering into a place of accountability with someone who you trust, who can share life experiences with and provide the much needed wisdom to navigate it — is invaluable.

Pause for a moment and consider your own need for a mentor at this place in your life. Many people I talk to, convince themselves that they can navigate life in their own strength and it’s sad to watch them stumble and fall. I’m not saying that a mentor will prevent all stumbling in your life, but they will definitely help you avoid some landmines along the way if you listen to them. I recommend mentors for men and women, but I’m speaking to the guys here because many boys have had fathers who were not involved or just absent. A boy without a compass is like an explorer without a map!

What younger men need is an older man who’s got skin in the game, who is speaking the truth, living the truth, sharing life from his failures, his successes, and being authentic and honest with him and just growing with him through life.

Have you sought out a mentor to help you navigate your personal and professional spheres?

3) Lead in the home.

Whether you like it or not, God placed the ultimate responsibility with respect to leadership in the household on the shoulders of the man. Also, God assigned the wife the duty of obeying her husband. Wait, before your head explodes…this obedience MUST BE A VOLUNTARY submission on her part, and only to her own husband. Oh and men…”head of the household” doesn’t mean male dominance, where you rule over a woman and demand her total obedience to your every wish and command. God never viewed women as second-class citizens and neither should you.

God’s Word does more than assign leadership in the household to the man, the comparison of the husband with Christ reveals the sense in which a man should be his wife’s “head.” The man is “head” by being intentional in her very welfare — he is her protector. The pattern we see here for men is Christ, who as head of the Church, is its Savior!

Remember guys, you will not lead her perfectly, but you must care for you wife and family by serving them with everything you’ve got.

Got it?

4) Escape passivity with more risk.

Stop playing life small!

Adam, the first real man — did absolutely nothing. He did not step up and denied his very nature and chose the path of passivity. Here is the rub guys, every one of us carries in his heart the same failure. We repeat the sin of Adam, every day. We won’t take risk, we won’t stand up and fight, and guys we won’t even rescue Eve. We are a chip off the old block! When it came to leadership and courage, Adam became a spectator.

Of course you might have to dial the risk back a bit as you get older, but stop being conservative in your life choices and think big! There is less risk while you’re young, energetic, and motivated; so face rejection and failure head on. In turn, embrace enormous and unimaginable success.

Men, take initiative and make this life count and live it to the fullest having used all your talents having no regrets. Get up off your @$$ and ask yourself what inspires me and what can I give? This life is too short not to live every day to your fullest potential.

Here is your challenge — make the world around you a better place!

5) Take responsibility for your life and set high standards.

Providing and responsibility is hard wired into the fabric of a man’s DNA. Us men need — not want — to be responsible.

The “distinctive roles” of men is quickly fading into the sunset and going the way of the dodo bird. Men thrive in an environment where they are relied upon and they feel most needed when they do something uniquely different from women. If they are not needed, they don’t flourish.

Men are stepping down in at epidemic proportions because culture shouts that they’re not needed. Although most men will not go out of their way to take on life’s challenges and responsibility, this is the very thing they should do if they want to thrive. Look…if you believe you will succeed, you often do.

If you set your sights high you will achieve awesome things in life, but to do this, you have to stop playing the victim card. Blaming the world, your parents, education, or the challenges you’ve faced in life is not going to help you rise above your problems. It’s going to keep you stuck and bitter — so knock it off and man up!

6) Commit fully to someone.

We live in the one of the most entitled generations of all time and with all success advice out there today, very little is focused about the benefits of finding a spouse who supports you and makes you better.

Dating is one thing, but when you step into the space of commitment you better take it seriously. Never make a huge decision such as getting married or becoming a parent without some maturity, wisdom and lots of prayer. Marriage is not easy and I messed up, but why choose the easy paths in life? Did divorce stop me from pursuing another committed relationship? Absolutely not!

Look guys, we are wired to face life’s obstacles…and responsibility is precisely what is needed for us to thrive. Oh and one more thing! Before you commit to a woman, remember these words from John Eldgredge, “A man needs a much bigger orbit than a woman. He needs a mission, a life purpose, and he needs to know his name. Only then is he fit for a woman, for only then does he have something to invite her into.”

7) Never stop learning.

One of the most valuable pieces of advice I received from my mentor was to remain teachable!

Ordinary pursue entertainment, but extraordinary people pursue education and learning. With online courses and digital media, learning is at your fingertips and you can you can become an well versed at almost anything. Many of most successful people today attribute their success learning and reading books often. With a few books, you can learn how about financial stability, healthy relationships, and to live out your dreams.

I’ve learned over the years, mostly the hard way, that diving into the right book at the right time can give someone a crucial advantage. Check out these 26 books that have personally made a huge difference for me!

We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.
-John Druden

Ok guys, it’s huddle time!

Have the courage to live life courageously from your heart, rather than only imagining living it because the world needs men to become fully alive.

The world needs you!

Base image credit:King Arthur: Legend of the Sword. © Warner Bros. (2017). Labeled For Reuse.

                  

We all face and struggle with brokenness on our journey — because we are all broken and much of what troubles us comes out of the broken places in our hearts crying out for some sort of relief. When I was writing Heartstone, one of the most difficult chapters to write was telling the story of when I was born with a broken leg. Of course I only remember the event by the stories told by my parents and family members that were there when it happened, but it really sets up a life metaphor that I carried with me for far too long.

As Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt shares, “We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places.” I discovered that more often than not, one’s suffering and brokenness amplifies our helplessness and truly exposes our need for a Savior. In my brokenness I found Jesus and here is that story…

A mysterious silence gripped the air that cold January morning in 1969, as the day of anticipation had finally arrived. This destiny moment begins in the sterile sanctuary of a hospital room with medical equipment filling the white space while soothing lullaby sounds captivated those waiting as if in a daydream. The sounds were mixed with a permeating hospital antiseptic smell that causes most to enter a state of numbness.

Something begins to happen, mysteriously breaking the lucidity of the room as everyone wakens from his or her slumber, revealing facial expressions of apprehension and anticipation. The innocence of creation is about to invade this hospital room as I begin to open my eyes within the darkness. My little heart begins to beat with an anxious rhythm as I hear the chaotic voices calling my name from a distant place, far beyond the peace and comfort of this womb, the only place that I have ever known before Heaven’s embrace.

The mystery of birth begins to move me from my place of peace, from my place of comfort. The voices become louder and clearer as a bright white light explodes into view, invading my hiding place. Not understanding what was happening to me, I panic, which causes me to turn my little body, creating a breach delivery.

Events begin to assault the stillness of my hiding place.

Confusion and fear surround me.

My hiding place of peace and comfort fades to black as chaos rushes in like a flood forever changing my existence. The doctors, fighting against time, attempt to change the position of my little body for delivery, but my mother is jolted and jumps, which sends me tumbling in the womb, and my leg goes numb. Losing the inner battle to hold back my tears, I cry out into the silence of the womb because this paralyzing pain pierces me deeply. Fighting for my life now, I hold on, trying to stay away from the light as it has already caused me so much pain. I cry out with a silent anguish, “Leave me alone!” as something deep within my soul presses hard against my will as I fight to simply exist.

My falling…

My screaming…

My crying…

The doctors wrestle with this mysterious struggle as I continue to fight to be born. Tired, scared, and wishing this nightmare to end, I give up and let go with a silent emptiness to live as I am delivered into the cold winter of this new world on the other side of comfort. With an unwelcoming velocity, I am born into a frightening world of tears; my peace is shattered by the confusion of the unknown.

Broken like a mirror smashed to pieces!

Hearing the deafening whispers mixed with expressions of joy and concern, the doctors and my family look upon me. I struggle with the reality of this birth as my mother holds me to comfort my pain. The light of this new world reveals the painful gift of imperfection; my little leg is fractured!

The doctors worked attentively to repair my fractured leg without understanding that this gift was not to be embraced in the physical, but a foreshadowing, a symbol of the curse of anguished brokenness I would endure within this life. My birthmark became a self-fulfilling prophecy as life continued the process of wounding me and breaking me.

As we journey through the mystery of life our circumstances confront us with the reality that brokenness is difficult to avoid in the world we live in. This symbol of my birth will forever remind me of the fight to simply exist—a symbol that was never intended for this precious little spirit.

Eden fades into the night as a distant memory.

There is only pain!

There is only fear!

There are only tears!

Paradise has become my place to cry.

This world is not my home.

Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you. —Jeremiah 1:5a (MSG)

This symbol of my birth would not be healed when the cast was removed; the scars of these wounds to come would define the person that I would become. The pain of birth, the turbulence of life, and the noise of desperate circumstances continued to drown out the soft, still, gentle voice of the Lord. Heaven’s embrace calls out to me…

“My precious child, I know everything about you! Out of My deep love, I sculpted you from nothing into something beautiful as I formed you in your mother’s womb. All the days of your life have I prepared for you—before you took your first breath. I promised you that I will always be with you and I will never abandon you. You will continue to face difficulties in this world, but take heart for I have conquered the world! If you let Me, I will show up and take care of you and bring you back home to Me. I am God and I know what I’m doing! I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Lift all the broken pieces of your life to Me! If you only knew, how much you mean to Me, if you only knew how much I love you…if you only knew!”

Pick up a copy of my book, Heartstone: A Journey out of the midnight of my soul.

Heartstone is a journey of destiny, a story of a life turned upside-down for the best possible reason. Step into the story and discover what happens when a broken life has a head on collision with a broken world! [WARNING] This book isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those who have the courage to face life head on and walk it out with God!

                  

“…for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony…” (Revelation 12:10-11)

Not trying to label followers of Jesus, but I have noticed two distinct camps. The folks in one camp enthusiastically shares or teaches Biblical knowledge to others and the folks in the other camp have a genuine testimony of what God has done and continues to do in their lives. The folks in the first camp are definitely genuine in their motive but are missing one essential ingredient to being effectively used by God – a testimony.

The power of testimony was prevalent in the early Church and during that time, people were able to give powerful testimony of events and experiences that could only be explained as a work of God. I didn’t know it at the time, but through the encouragement of one of my life mentors I filled up 6+ journals of my adventures/experiences during my divorce. I had no idea that someday these very scribbles would become a book.

God wants so much to build a testimony in each of every one of us, to tell the story of how a loving God walked it out with us. When others see His power reflected in our story, there is major heart impact because they cannot explain the power of that story. God desires to frame your life with experiences designed to reflect the character and nature of Christ. Sometimes these events can be very devastating, but they are designed to reveal His power in and through us.

Every one of us who pursues a relationship with Jesus has a testimony and that testimony is valid. Whether you have served time in prison or lived a relatively moral life, your story as a follower of Jesus goes something like this: You were once separated from God, the good news of the Gospel found it’s way to you, you wrestled with God a bit and signed up for this Jesus thing. Some people don’t share their story because they’re convinced it’s not “epic enough.” Listen up, because your story is someone’s story and when you share your story you make a connection with others. Each of us has the story of our testimony which defines, shapes, moves and propels us — so share it and never believe your testimony isn’t good enough!

I thought it good to declare the signs and wonders that the Most High God has worked for me.
-Daniel 4:2

Saint Francis of Assisi said, “Preach the Gospel to everyone and use words if necessary.” I love this quote because it’s so profound and I truly believe that he was saying that a living example of the Gospel is more effective than just our words. Sure some may argue with you about interpretation of Scripture or theology, but unless they believe you to be a liar, they can’t argue with your testimony — because it’s your story and you don’t need to be a theologian to share it!

There is nothing more powerful than a miracle testimony and never underestimate what God can do through your testimony. I love the story in the 9th chapter of John when the man born blind was healed on the Sabbath. When he was called before the Pharisees to explain his healing, his response was simple and profound — “One thing I know: that though I was blind, now I see.”

Here are some questions for you to think about:

Do others know your testimony? Have you shared it?

Can others see God working in your life?

Does your testimony only consist Bible of knowledge?

Are things happening in your life that can only be explained as God?

God has changed my life in ways I can’t describe and I’m thankful that He cared enough to walk it out with me, which is why I published and tell my story to anyone willing to listen. God wants your testimony to be bold, so you can live unashamed before men, giving all the honor and glory to Him. He wants your life to reveal His power of what He can do in our lives — because He does amazing things for people in all kinds of trouble, who were messed up beyond natural hope.

If God has worked powerfully in your life, please share it so others can benefit.

Pick up a copy of my book, Heartstone: A Journey out of the midnight of my soul.

Heartstone is a journey of destiny, a story of a life turned upside-down for the best possible reason. Step into the story and discover what happens when a broken life has a head on collision with a broken world! [WARNING] This book isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those who have the courage to face life head on and walk it out with God!

Base Image credit: “Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face.” By Ben White via Unsplash. Free for commercial use.

There are so many self-proclaimed experts, articles, books and quotes on quality of life…but what is it really?

I’m not one of those self-proclaimed experts on the matter, but I’ve learned on my journey that the quality of our life is not equivalent to our standard of living. Here’s what I mean by that…I went on a missions trip to Panama and these people, from our myopic American perspective, had nothing…but they were some of the happiest people I’ve ever met. Of course many would argue that income can have a marginal effect on your quality of life, but that alone isn’t the full picture. Just look at some of the “rich” celebrities and you will soon discover that they are some of the most miserable people.

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
–Thorin Oakenshield

There are certain ways that we can influence the quality of our life in a positive way. The material stuff that most of us pursue are obviously more tangible than increasing happiness, health, or vitality. But how about the rest of it?

How about seeing life as an opportunity, eating healthier, pursuing your purpose, becoming more self-reliant, having an attitude of gratitude, doing something bold, spending time in daily prayer, spending time with your loved ones, doing anything outdoors and not stressing out about things, or fill in the blank _____________.

If standard of living is your number one objective, quality of life almost never improves. But if quality of life is your number one objective, standard of living invariably improves.
–Zig Ziglar

I can definitely include most of the items listed, but here are three things I’ve done recently that have also increased my quality of life in a positive way.

1) I gave up coffee.

Every morning I would take a detour into my local Dunkin Donuts or Cumberland Farms, wait in line and pick up a medium iced coffee with light cream. Living in New England, I had no problem drinking iced coffee all year round. Then late afternoons, during the work week, I would fill up again on a cup of Joe for that last mile kick. All in all, I would consume 3 to 4 cups of coffee a day and it didn’t stop on weekends. This was pretty much my ritual since I picked up the taste of coffee.

Today, caffeine is America’s most popular drug and is advertised as an energy-boosting, focus-enhancing wonder supplement without any downside. Marketing at its finest

Recently saw Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 2 and it was just as enjoyable and fun to watch as the first one. I’m a big fan of the larger Marvel cinematic universe, but the Guardians of The Galaxy storyline is one of my favorites.

Spoiler Alert

I love the sci-fi mixed with humor theme’ing — even if Drax’s laughter feels forced at times. There is also the camaraderie, stunning visuals, and the of course the epic soundtrack. If you’re a fan of the last Guardians movie, there’s no reason to think that you won’t find this one just as good.

We have to start at the end and roll it back a bit to highlight one of the deeper themes in the movie. Peter’s (Star Lord) coveted Walkman gets busted and Kraglin (Yondu’s right-hand Ravager) gives him a “new” music player as a replacement. The epic joke is that he got a Microsoft Zune. Kraglin shares that Yondu always expected Peter to come back, so he picked it up for him while at a space junk sale. After being in awe that this new player can hold “300 songs?!” he scrolls through the menu and, like he did at the end of the last movie and fires up a track — “Father and Son.” from Cat Stevens

Let’s unpack the deeper theme of “Father and son” from the movie…

From the last movie, we know that Peter loses his mom and is haunted by the tough reality that he doesn’t know who his father…later to find a new family in his fellow Guardians. This time around, Peter gets to meet his father Ego (played by Kurt Russell), who is a Celestial that can manipulate matter and extend consciousness. There’s a moving scene where Peter, having discovered that he shares the same Celestial power as his father, harnesses the power to form it into a ball that he throws to his father. Ego then tosses the ball back to Peter, and the camera pans out to a scene of a father and his fully grown son playing catch for the first time. The moment might be a bit cliché, but it highlighted a stark contrast for Peter to the “family” interactions he’d known with his adoptive father, Yondu.

Every son, and I mean EVERY son, has it hard wired into their DNA to want to be with, be accepted by and to know their dad.

We learn that Ego sent Yondu to retrieve Peter after the death of his mother in the last movie. However, after learning that Ego had killed his other children after realizing they didn’t share his powers, Yondu made the decision not to turn Peter over to him, and instead raised him as one of the Ravagers. As all of this is unfolding for Peter he also learns about Ego’s diabolical plan and he was the one who created the cancer that killed his mother. He also learns that sometimes family may not just be you’re biological parents, but others who care for you very much and put your well-being first.

While Yondu jokes that he kept Peter around because he was “skinny” and could fit into small spaces, making him a valuable asset as a thief…it becomes clear that Peter means so much more to Yondu, when he sacrifices his own life to save his adoptive son’s. At this moment, Yondu makes a declaration that hits right to the heart…

He may have been your father boy, but he wasn’t your daddy.
-Yondu

This statement is so important, so powerful and so true. A parent may not always be the person whose DNA you share…but the person who raises you, mentors you, cares for you, who is there for you, and is willing to sacrifice for your well-being. Peter was so focused on being reunited with his biological father, that he didn’t realize the father figure he was so yearning for was right there in front of him the whole time.

Sometimes that thing you’re searching for your whole life is right by your side and you never see it.
-Peter Quill

Yondu loved Peter like a son and didn’t turn him over to Ego because he knew what Peter’s fate would be. Instead…he kept him, trained him and showed him how to live and survive. We all desire a fully present father figure in our lives, but sometimes that relationship we desire might be right there in front of you the whole time.

You just have to be willing to see it!

Image Credit: Guardians of the Galaxy. © Marvel Studios, Walt Disney Pictures.