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Jake Wizner

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Jake Wizner


Website

Genre
Young Adult


I was supposed to be born on Hitler’s birthday. To my mother’s great relief, I arrived late and was born on Freud’s birthday instead. My parents wanted to name me Max, but my grandfather, a Holocaust refugee, strenuously objected, saying the name sounded too German. My original birth certificate read Baby Boy Wizner.

My mother was a college dean, and I spent the first ten years of my life living in a dormitory. I ate meals in the college dining hall, explored the campus tunnels, and became a foosball prodigy, sharpening my skills against opponents more than twice my age. Occasionally, I would sleepwalk around the dormitory at night, and be picked up by drunk students returning from parties in the early morning hours.

I went to Wesleyan Univer ...more

Combine Editions

Average rating: 3.77 · 3,989 ratings · 729 reviews · 4 distinct works • Similar authors
Spanking Shakespeare
3.80 avg rating — 3,548 ratings — published 2007 — 18 editions
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Castration Celebration
3.49 avg rating — 420 ratings — published 2009 — 9 editions
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Worth Writing About
4.14 avg rating — 21 ratings — published 2015 — 3 editions
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Worth Writing About: Explor...
0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings
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Quotes by Jake Wizner  (?)
Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. (Learn more)

“I wrote you this poem because i was afraid/ To come out and tell you i want to get laid.”
― Jake Wizner
tags: shakespeare
9 likes
Like

“There once was a man who was sore
'Cuz his wife wouldn't open the door.
Celibacy
is just not for me
Let me in, you cock-teasing whore.”
― Jake Wizner, Spanking Shakespeare
tags: funny-as-hell
8 likes
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