Stacey Rychener's Blog - Posts Tagged "fantasy"
Sneak Peek: Calliope's Mythology Lesson
"We are going to start your lessons with the top of the food chain in the our Immortal world: The Olympians. Tell me what you know about us?"
"I think there are 12 Olympians, and I can name six: Zeus, Apollo, Hermes, Ares, hmmm, Poseidon, and Aphrodite." I replied.
"Hmmmm, is not an Olympian. You only know six? And you come from a proud Greek family, shame on you! What do you know about the six?" Apollo chided.
"Zeus is the god of all gods as well as being at total manwhore. Hermes is the god of travelers, sports, inventions, charm, and the Protector of Humans. Ares is the god of all things warfare. Poseidon is the god of the sea. Aphrodite is the goddess of love and beauty, and she likes to spread her love and beauty around. And you, my friend, are the god of so many things I lost count. Your short list includes: light, truth, medicine, art, music, and being annoyingly perfect. Also, on Wikipedia, you come across as slightly passive aggressive. How'd I do?"
“Not everything on Wikipedia is the truth, Calliope.” Apollo said annoyed.
“You mean Santa Claus really does exist?” I asked with intense curiosity.
“You have accepted that all sorts of Immortals not only exist, but are running around your city, and yet you question the existence of Santa Claus? Very sad.”
“If you don’t believe in Santa Claus, you don’t get any Christmas presents in my house.”
“The Greek Christian Bishop, Saint Nicholas of Myra, was the actual inspiration for Santa Claus back in the 4th Century. He was known for his generous gifts to the needy and for giving dowries to women of poor families, so they would not have to become prostitutes.”
“You just killed Christmas for me, dude. Now, all I can think about is how my parents are giving me gifts so I don’t become a prostitute. I wonder why that story hasn't caught on like The Night Before Christmas?” I snarked.
“It didn’t rhyme as well as The Night Before Christmas. It’s hard to rhyme prostitute with much.” Apollo offered.
“Not really. Destitute goes pretty well. So, what else are you going to hit me with to ruin my holidays? Next thing you’re gonna tell me is that the Native Americans didn’t provide turkey, dressing, mash potatoes, and pumpkin pie to the Pilgrims, or that Jesus didn’t really write the Bible.” I accused him.
Apollo gave me his intense squinty look like his eyes were a visual lie detector test. He didn’t quite get my sense of humor, yet. “You really scare me sometimes.”
"If it is only sometimes, then I'm off my game," I reflected.
Apollo retorted, "I would rather us not play games with each other, my Muse."
"And I would rather have gotten, a Viper for my 16th birthday instead of a Grand Prix. But life is tough, and you do what you have to do to make the best of it."
"Very wise, my Muse. I hope you will some day judge me by those standards. However, tonight, we will focus on your total lack of education about your Greek heritage. The other six Olympians you are missing are: Hera, the wife and sister of Zeus, is the queen of the gods as well as goddess of woman and marriage. She tends to be very vindictive, especially to the women Zeus cavorted with and the children who were produced from those liaisons. You are one of those children as am I. When it comes to Hera, the best strategy is to stay under the radar."
"First, Ewwwwwww. Second, you can't really blame her seeing as many Greek stories revolve around the escapades of Zeus with other women. Third, you are talking like I will actually meet her." I stated.
"It is not outside the realm of possibility that you will meet any or all of the Olympians. The next Olympian you failed to remember is Demeter. She is the goddess of the harvest, seasons, and the circle of life. She's the mother hen of our group. You'll like her. Now, Hades will make you uncomfortable. He is the god of the underworld, and you were always wary of him. Hephaestus is the god of construction of anything from technology, to industry, to sculpting. He is all about creating something. I’m very disappointed in you for not remembering Athena. The patron of Athens, Greece. Sound familiar? She is the goddess of courage and cunning, which also applies to warfare. When Ares and Athena play Monopoly, we all watch. They are both masters of strategy. Dionysus is the quintessential playboy. He is the god of wine, women, and ecstasy. Finally, my sister Artemis is the goddess of the hunt and wilderness.
"Wait a minute, isn't she your twin sister?" I asked.
"Ah, you're delinquent memory comes back." Apollo teased me.
"I think there are 12 Olympians, and I can name six: Zeus, Apollo, Hermes, Ares, hmmm, Poseidon, and Aphrodite." I replied.
"Hmmmm, is not an Olympian. You only know six? And you come from a proud Greek family, shame on you! What do you know about the six?" Apollo chided.
"Zeus is the god of all gods as well as being at total manwhore. Hermes is the god of travelers, sports, inventions, charm, and the Protector of Humans. Ares is the god of all things warfare. Poseidon is the god of the sea. Aphrodite is the goddess of love and beauty, and she likes to spread her love and beauty around. And you, my friend, are the god of so many things I lost count. Your short list includes: light, truth, medicine, art, music, and being annoyingly perfect. Also, on Wikipedia, you come across as slightly passive aggressive. How'd I do?"
“Not everything on Wikipedia is the truth, Calliope.” Apollo said annoyed.
“You mean Santa Claus really does exist?” I asked with intense curiosity.
“You have accepted that all sorts of Immortals not only exist, but are running around your city, and yet you question the existence of Santa Claus? Very sad.”
“If you don’t believe in Santa Claus, you don’t get any Christmas presents in my house.”
“The Greek Christian Bishop, Saint Nicholas of Myra, was the actual inspiration for Santa Claus back in the 4th Century. He was known for his generous gifts to the needy and for giving dowries to women of poor families, so they would not have to become prostitutes.”
“You just killed Christmas for me, dude. Now, all I can think about is how my parents are giving me gifts so I don’t become a prostitute. I wonder why that story hasn't caught on like The Night Before Christmas?” I snarked.
“It didn’t rhyme as well as The Night Before Christmas. It’s hard to rhyme prostitute with much.” Apollo offered.
“Not really. Destitute goes pretty well. So, what else are you going to hit me with to ruin my holidays? Next thing you’re gonna tell me is that the Native Americans didn’t provide turkey, dressing, mash potatoes, and pumpkin pie to the Pilgrims, or that Jesus didn’t really write the Bible.” I accused him.
Apollo gave me his intense squinty look like his eyes were a visual lie detector test. He didn’t quite get my sense of humor, yet. “You really scare me sometimes.”
"If it is only sometimes, then I'm off my game," I reflected.
Apollo retorted, "I would rather us not play games with each other, my Muse."
"And I would rather have gotten, a Viper for my 16th birthday instead of a Grand Prix. But life is tough, and you do what you have to do to make the best of it."
"Very wise, my Muse. I hope you will some day judge me by those standards. However, tonight, we will focus on your total lack of education about your Greek heritage. The other six Olympians you are missing are: Hera, the wife and sister of Zeus, is the queen of the gods as well as goddess of woman and marriage. She tends to be very vindictive, especially to the women Zeus cavorted with and the children who were produced from those liaisons. You are one of those children as am I. When it comes to Hera, the best strategy is to stay under the radar."
"First, Ewwwwwww. Second, you can't really blame her seeing as many Greek stories revolve around the escapades of Zeus with other women. Third, you are talking like I will actually meet her." I stated.
"It is not outside the realm of possibility that you will meet any or all of the Olympians. The next Olympian you failed to remember is Demeter. She is the goddess of the harvest, seasons, and the circle of life. She's the mother hen of our group. You'll like her. Now, Hades will make you uncomfortable. He is the god of the underworld, and you were always wary of him. Hephaestus is the god of construction of anything from technology, to industry, to sculpting. He is all about creating something. I’m very disappointed in you for not remembering Athena. The patron of Athens, Greece. Sound familiar? She is the goddess of courage and cunning, which also applies to warfare. When Ares and Athena play Monopoly, we all watch. They are both masters of strategy. Dionysus is the quintessential playboy. He is the god of wine, women, and ecstasy. Finally, my sister Artemis is the goddess of the hunt and wilderness.
"Wait a minute, isn't she your twin sister?" I asked.
"Ah, you're delinquent memory comes back." Apollo teased me.
