Nick Shamhart's Blog

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Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

 

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Ut velit mauris, egestas sed, gravida nec, ornare ut, mi. Aenean ut orci vel massa suscipit pulvinar. Nulla sollicitudin. Fusce varius, ligula non tempus aliquam, nunc turpis ullamcorper nibh, in tempus sapien eros vitae ligula. Pellentesque rhoncus nunc et augue. Integer id felis. Curabitur aliquet pellentesque diam. Integer quis metus vitae elit lobortis egestas. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Morbi vel erat non mauris convallis vehicula. Nulla et sapien. Integer tortor tellus, aliquam faucibus, convallis id, congue eu, quam. Mauris ullamcorper felis vitae erat. Proin feugiat, augue non elementum posuere, metus purus iaculis lectus, et tristique ligula justo vitae magna.

 

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Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

 

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Ut velit mauris, egestas sed, gravida nec, ornare ut, mi. Aenean ut orci vel massa suscipit pulvinar. Nulla sollicitudin. Fusce varius, ligula non tempus aliquam, nunc turpis ullamcorper nibh, in tempus sapien eros vitae ligula. Pellentesque rhoncus nunc et augue. Integer id felis. Curabitur aliquet pellentesque diam. Integer quis metus vitae elit lobortis egestas. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Morbi vel erat non mauris convallis vehicula. Nulla et sapien. Integer tortor tellus, aliquam faucibus, convallis id, congue eu, quam. Mauris ullamcorper felis vitae erat. Proin feugiat, augue non elementum posuere, metus purus iaculis lectus, et tristique ligula justo vitae magna.

 

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Aliquam convallis sollicitudin purus. Praesent aliquam, enim at fermentum mollis, ligula massa adipiscing nisl, ac euismod nibh nisl eu lectus. Fusce vulputate sem at sapien. Vivamus leo. Aliquam euismod libero eu enim. Nulla nec felis sed leo placerat imperdiet. Aenean suscipit nulla in justo. Suspendisse cursus rutrum augue. Nulla tincidunt tincidunt mi. Curabitur iaculis, lorem vel rhoncus faucibus, felis magna fermentum augue, et ultricies lacus lorem varius purus. Curabitur eu amet.

 

Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

 

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Ut velit mauris, egestas sed, gravida nec, ornare ut, mi. Aenean ut orci vel massa suscipit pulvinar. Nulla sollicitudin. Fusce varius, ligula non tempus aliquam, nunc turpis ullamcorper nibh, in tempus sapien eros vitae ligula. Pellentesque rhoncus nunc et augue. Integer id felis. Curabitur aliquet pellentesque diam. Integer quis metus vitae elit lobortis egestas. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Morbi vel erat non mauris convallis vehicula. Nulla et sapien. Integer tortor tellus, aliquam faucibus, convallis id, congue eu, quam. Mauris ullamcorper felis vitae erat. Proin feugiat, augue non elementum posuere, metus purus iaculis lectus, et tristique ligula justo vitae magna.

 

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Aliquam convallis sollicitudin purus. Praesent aliquam, enim at fermentum mollis, ligula massa adipiscing nisl, ac euismod nibh nisl eu lectus. Fusce vulputate sem at sapien. Vivamus leo. Aliquam euismod libero eu enim. Nulla nec felis sed leo placerat imperdiet. Aenean suscipit nulla in justo. Suspendisse cursus rutrum augue. Nulla tincidunt tincidunt mi. Curabitur iaculis, lorem vel rhoncus faucibus, felis magna fermentum augue, et ultricies lacus lorem varius purus. Curabitur eu amet.

 

There are few people in the world that I openly disdain based upon the second hand impressions I am afforded via the press. Donald Trump is one of those few. The affluence and privilege he was born into proved too inadequate for his ego, so he bought himself a celebrity role and purchased fame. When those toys lost their luster he decided he should be a politician without a diplomatic bone in his body.

I have seen nothing but petulant, childish, bullying behavior from him at every turn. If we believe his slogan of making America great again, I’d ask what made America great to begin with? It was that America refused to be bullied by nation, creed, character, so why elect a bully when what made us great was our aversion to the very characteristics Trump exemplifies?

You may call this immature, but sometimes the best reaction to bully is to stoop to his level and give him a taste of his own medicine. Since Trump continually proves to be politically ignorant, and yet insists on behaving as an immature bully who would relish a Your Mamma’s so Fat joke let’s turn the tables on him.

I propose you all invent some of your own Trump is so Dumb jokes and spread them around to bully the bully, but here are some examples that some of my buddies and I came up with.

Trump is so Dumb By Nick Shamhart

Trump is so dumb when asked to meet with Kofi Annan he thought he was going to Starbucks.
Trump is so dumb he thought Black Lives Matter was a new Rap group.
Trump is so dumb he heard that Mexicans were stealing our jobs and he thought they were robbing Steve’s grave.
Trump is so dumb the extent of his biblical knowledge was, “Two Corinthians walk into a bar…”
Trump is so dumb he thought Gross National Product was a sewer issue.
Trump is so dumb he thought Canadian Bacon was Kevin’s son.
Trump is so dumb he thought Air Force 2 was the sequel.
Trump is so dumb he thought buying some support hose would aide welfare.
Trump is so dumb he thought Einstein’s Theory of Relativity was Times Square.
Trump is so dumb he thought all Google docs had PhDs.
Trump is so dumb when asked about Flint’s water crisis he blamed climate change.
Trump is so dumb that when asked how we could stimulate the economy he said, “Just have her stick a thumb in the backdoor. That always works for me.”
Trump is so dumb he thought he could solve gun control by making Hulk Hogan put on a sweater.
Trump is so dumb he asked Prince William what happened to DJ Jazzy Jeff.
Trump is so dumb he thought Apartheid ebbed and flowed every few hours.
Trump is so dumb he thought El Chapo was Juan Valdez.

Trump is so Dumb By Brandon Reyna

Trump is so dumb he thought Pontius Pilate was the captain of Israeli airlines.
Trump is so dumb he asked an evangelical pastor if God made everything. The Pastor replied, Yes. Then Trump said, Why does everything say Made in China then?
Trump is so dumb he thought Samsung Galaxy was the name of a Star Wars character.
Trump is so dumb he thought Pearl Jam was something you served with caviar.
Trump is so dumb he thought his hair was real.
Trump is so dumb he thought Apollo 13 was another Rocky movie.
Trump is so dumb he thought the Gallup poll was something you tied a horse to.
Trump is so dumb he thought FLOTUS was a flower.
Trump is so dumb he thought the majority whip was part of the nae nae.
Trump is so dumb in an interview with NASA, he was asked which heavenly body came before Venus? He responded, Serena.
Trump is so dumb he thought El Chapo was hot sauce.
Trump is so dumb he thought the rainbow coalition was a kids show on PBS.

Trump is so Dumb By D. Bakes

Trump so dumb, he thought the Holocaust museum was full of (take your pick):

Immigrants

Sub-Prime Mortgages

Planned Parenthood

Obamacare Premiums

Receipts from his barber
Trump so dumb he thought that Israel was a new Memorex ad campaign.
He thought El Chapo was Mexican Chapstick.

 

Share these and any of your own invention across the Internet to Make America Great Again by bullying the the bully.

~Nick

With the approach of Halloween, Samhain (FYI pronounced SOW-in), All Saints’ Day, Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), and so on with the end of the year/death/harvest cyclic and symbolic motif humanity has struggled with since we crawled down from the trees, my mind turns to legends and stories of the supernatural. This year I wanted to take a closer look at the ghost stories around – Toledo, Ohio.

My, some would say obsession, with the concept of infinity necessitates that I emphasize that I am neither debunking nor substantiating these legends and stories. I will approach them with the all but forgotten art of unbiased journalism. I will give you some of the who, what, when, and where if applicable, but the why is yours to invent and decide upon. True to modern journalistic form though, I will also omit much of the substantial history behind these locations (it would only bore most readers and ruin the fun of the season in some cases). Believer or non-believer, the following are buildings and cemeteries steeped in histories that are worth knowing about. Plus, if you’re nearby stop and take a picture or two as we did. You never know what,  or who, may appear in the photo.

My adorable paranormal/history seeking assistant

Cemeteries:

Ravine Cemetery  is located on Ravine Road, between Harroun Road and Main Street, in Sylvania, Ohio. The burying-grounds were established in 1883, and are still active. Sections of Ravine Cemetery also boarder St. Joseph’s Catholic Cemetery. The grounds are supposedly haunted by a woman with long, dark hair who typically wears a white dress. The reason for her presence is that she’d had three husbands and she died at a young enough age that her parents were forced to bury her. They did not know which husband to bury her alongside so her spirit wanders the acreage looking for the correct one.

Ravine Cemetery, Sylvania, Ohio

Benjamin Joy Cemetery (sometimes shortened to Joy Cemetery) on Brittany road in Ottawa Hills, OH. It was founded in 1853 and is still used by the parishioners of the adjacent St. Michael’s Church. There is said to be a one-legged sailor, a lake boat captain to be specific, that wanders the grounds looking for his missing leg. There are contradictory stories as to whether he is looking for his peg leg, or the missing real one.

Joy Cemetery in Ottawa Hills, OH

Wolfinger Cemetery on Wolfinger Road within Secor Park, between US-20 (Central Avenue) and Bancroft Street was established in 1835, and it is still active. There are graves for two parents and their three children along the cemetery’s wood line, etched in marble that they all died within days of each other. Over the years several ghostly children have been seen playing around the graves as well as the sounds of phantom giggling and cold spots around the grave sites.

Wolfinger Cemetery Toledo, OH

Locations:

Gibb’s Road Bridge is located in Richfield Township between Sylvania and Berkey. Stories say the bridge is haunted by the victims of a deadly auto accident that occurred on, or nearby, the bridge. The phantom sounds of a collision and high-pitched laughter that could almost be a scream are said to be heard at night.  People have also reported being chased off the bridge after dark by ghostly shadows and shapes.

Gibb’s Road Bridge in Sylvania, OH

The rocky shores of Point Place and Bay View are reportedly haunted by the ghost of a woman who is searching for her lot love. She typically appears at dusk in a long white gown and bare feet, stumbling along the rocks weeping and waiting for her beloved to return; of which is said that he was a sailor whom departed but never returned.

The shores of Toledo, OH

Buildings:

The Nazareth Hall on W River road in Grand Rapids, OH was built in 1927 as a Catholic boarding school for boys. Throughout its history mysterious noises have been heard and strange shadows seen. A haunting figure in the shape of a nun is said to float down the halls moaning and groaning at night. The bathrooms are also said to be haunted as faucets have turned on by themselves and odd noises occur without explanation. The hall is now open for banquets, wedding, and parties.

Nazareth Hall Grand Rapids, OH

The Chadwick (Now Linck) Inn of Maumee, OH was built in 1837 as an inn slash general store, post office, and feed store. In the 1930’s, it was converted to a brothel. Recently renovated it is said to be haunted by the ghost of a woman who can be seen hanging from the rafters with a noose around her neck. Another ghostly female is known as the Lilac Lady because she walks around the restaurant spreading the smell of fresh lilacs. There is an additional ghost that supposedly smells like body odor and sweaty horse. The inn is also said to be haunted by the original builder Levi Barbee, who loves to drink Jack Daniels.

The Chadwick (Linck) Inn of Maumee, OH

The Wolcott House of Maumee, OH was built along the Maumee River in 1830. It is now open to the public as a museum that displays what pioneer life was like. Ghostly hands are said to have touched visitors and workers on the shoulder or back. A mysterious figure can supposedly be seen from the corner of the eye, but if you turn to face it the apparition will disappear. Phantom footsteps are also commonly heard inside the house.

The Wolcott House Maumee, OH

The Collingwood Arts Center of Toledo, Ohio is a complex of several buildings that includes a former convent and college built in the 1870’s. It supposedly has several ghosts inhabiting its rooms, stairways, attic, and auditorium. In the auditorium, a nun can be seen walking down the aisle from the balcony to a certain seat in the theater. Witnesses say they feel a very negative and angry vibe when in her presence. Friendlier spirits are said to haunt the attic, sewing and chattering away. The west hallway in the apartment building is supposedly haunted by the ghost of a jilted bride who committed suicide after being left at the alter. One male ghost is said to haunt one of the rooms in the basement dressed in all black. People claim him he made them feel scared. That he was somehow evil and angry.

Collingwood Arts Center Toledo, OH

Jefferson Junior High School in Toledo has had claims that the sounds of a bell tolling can be heard in the middle of the night, but the bell was removed from the belfry years ago. The ghost of a janitor known as Oscar is said to watch every school play from the auditorium balcony. There is a seat reserved for him because he becomes angry whenever someone else sits in his seat and will cause something to go wrong with the play being performed.

Jefferson Junior High Toledo, OH

The main branch of the Lucas County Public Library in Toledo is said to be haunted by a female ghost. She walks around, haunting the third floor, which is closed to the public, especially after hours. Footsteps that sound like high heels on linoleum have been heard as well as cold spots felt by staff members, and one patron claims to have been shushed in the rare books room when he read a passage aloud.

Lucas co. Public Library Toledo, OH

At Toledo’s YWCA a little boy reportedly fell from the third floor window in the late 1990’s and died. I could not find an article to prove this claim; I apologize. Witnesses have reported seeing the apparition of a little boy wandering around on the third floor. Others have claimed to hear an unexplained knocking sound on the third floor windows.

Toledo, OH YWCA

The Columbian House Restaurant  in Waterville, OH was built in 1828. People often report, or complain, about feeling cold spots throughout the house and on the grounds. Phantom fiddle playing is often heard coming from the ballroom. A murder victim is said to haunt the second floor room and adjacent hallway where she died. There is a mischievous ghost named Jenny who often moves furniture in the upstairs attic, pinches people, and plays jokes on the staff.

The Columbian House Waterville, OH

My little ghost hunter/history seeker and I did not experience anything out of the ordinary, but we did see some beautiful scenery. Perhaps if you are in the area, and you decide to swing by one of these haunts you will have better luck, or poorer luck depending on your perspective, and come face to face with one of Toledo’s ghosts.

~Nick

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Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Books-A-Million, Kobo, Powell’s, and more!

Plus don’t forget to add The Dark Lights to your Goodreads!

The Dark Lights

Have you ever walked past a window and seen something out of the corner of your eye that you knew couldn’t be there, but you go back to check and it’s gone?

What if it wasn’t gone?

What if it was still there?

What if you could walk out your door and interact with it?

And what if you couldn’t go back?

This is the story of Erik. He is a young man who did just that. He walked through a doorway into another world and now he cannot return home. Every door he walks through could be the one that leads him back home, but the years he has spent searching have not yielded that result. Compounding matters are the Dark Lights, creatures more akin to gods than sentient man, that chase Erik as a result of his trespassing into other worlds.

Follow Erik along on his travels, and allow his spastic wit to keep you company while he compares the cosmos to pop culture, falls in love, examines the concepts of fear, desire, anger, compassion, courage, and the entire gamut of the human experience.

Open a door onto another world, and run!