Kergan Edwards-Stout's Blog

I so appreciate this lovely review by The Book Commentary of “Never Turn Your Back on the Tide (Or, How I Married a Lying, Psychopathic Wannabe Murdered - And Kinda Lived to Tell.”

“Kergan Edwards-Stout’s Never Turn Your Back on the Tide is a compelling fictional memoir that recounts his tumultuous life journey through childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, marked by personal trauma, resilience, and self-discovery. …This book captivated me with its themes and deep emotional and psychological currents. A perfect read for fans of fiction that reflects the real-life struggles of people who want to be loved as they are.” 

The full review can be found here. Thank you!

My sincere thanks to Frank Anthony Books for a terrific review of Never Turn Your Back on the Tide!

“Kergan Edwards-Stout fictional memoir is an ingenious and innovative work of art… There are moments in the novel that will make you laugh out loud and moments where you are left in a puddle of your own tears. The word “memoir” may scare off some readers, but it is honestly one of the most exciting spins on an individual’s life that I’ve ever read… Frank Anthony Books gives this novel a 5 out of 5 stars - MUST BUY!” Frank Anthony Books

A thank you to A&U Magazine for their review of Never Turn Your Back on the Tide!

“As the two-part title announces, Kergan Edwards-Stout’s new “fictional memoir” promises to be both lyrical and sensationalistic. Never Turn Your Back on the Tide (Or, How I Married a Lying, Psychopathic Wannabe-Murderer and Kinda Lived to Tell) delivers to some extent on each count, but the heart of its story is much more middle of the road, in the best sense: a story about finding a safe haven in a loving family, after a childhood with a mother who leads with the illogical and a civil union with a man of many masks.

…The analogy to the Lifetime TV movie is a deft one, and Edwards-Stout is brave to unpack the relationship. It is an important literary choice, too, as general readers of memoirs hardly ever get a chance to learn about gay male relationships that are messy or not working or careening into true-crime territory. This tack is the strength of the memoir—Edwards-Stout discusses issues we hardly ever give voice to in our effort to show queer men playing happy families or people living with HIV who are wholly empowered. In a world where marriage equality is constantly threatened and the dismantling of HIV criminalization is not traveling at the speed of justice that it needs to be, we sometimes find it difficult to discuss the bad and the ugly along with the good.

So, with crystal-clear prose, Edwards-Stout traces an arc about family, the memoir’s early parts about the family he was born into and the later parts about his two sons and current husband, a loving man light years away from Eyes. The missteps of his mother during his early life are counterbalanced by his own evolution as a doting father. In between, the writer creates a portrait of a man—the above-mentioned Eyes—who betrays his trust and threatens to crush Edwards-Stout’s resolve to love him.

The contrast between the narrator and Eyes is illuminated, in part, by each man’s relation to HIV/AIDS. Edwards-Stout, who is negative, becomes an activist-educator and a caregiver while Eyes uses his positive serostatus as a plot point in his fictionalizing of the world. The narrator has a stint as “The Condom Guy” in a national print ad campaign and follows up with safer-sex awareness efforts on Pride stages. He volunteers at APLA as part of its speaker’s bureau and later works at the organization, creating an innovative educational program.

Some of Edwards-Stout’s most seering writing is found in his portrait of Shane, a boyfriend who is living with HIV. At one point, Shane’s T cells drop and his disease progresses, and Kergan tends to him. He writes:

I wasn’t afraid of contracting the virus—I was far too educated for that—but I was concerned about allowing myself to fully love him, as there was then no cure or drugs effective at slowing down the disease. That evil PAC-MAN virus could mow down anything, destroying everything in its path. Still, I knew that allowing myself to love Shane would change me, and that I desperately needed changing. I didn’t yet know how it might alter me, but it wouldn’t be long before I found out.

But while Edwards-Stout develops into an educator and a caregiver when it comes to HIV, Eyes deepens the shadows of his charade’s chiaroscuro. Eyes lies about when he acquired HIV, making it seem like he just found out to wring some dramatic tension out of the revelation. He does not become self-reflective as he continues to live with HIV—he continues to gaslight Kergan and others.

…Never Turn Your Back on the Tide, with its poignant emphasis on creating a family that withstands life’s vicissitudes, reminds readers what we are often fighting for.”

Thanks to the folks at Shelf Unbound Magazine for listing my new memoir, Never Turn Your Back on the Tide, as one of 2020’s best indie reads. I appreciate the accolade!

Thanks so much to Frank Anthony of the “Let Me Be Frank” podcast for the fun interview!

That morning, I was all set up, with flawless lighting, decor, etc., only to have a workman show up right when we were starting and hammer away at something. I rushed up to a guest room in the house, trying to find a quiet place to sit, then jumped onto the bed, knocked over my water glass, and sunk into a pile of airy pillows—not the optimal podcast setting.
Then, as we began, a wasp floated past me, thus beginning one of the crazier recording episodes I’ve ever had, as I darted about, laptop in hand, trying to avoid the wasp. All the time unaware that, in addition to the podcast, Frank uses the video as well. I’m sure I looked insane.

Still, Frank was great and I so appreciate the opportunity to talk about my new book, AIDS, and so much more. Listen here!

Thank you, IndieReader, for the terrific review of Never Turn Your Back on the Tide!

“…a beguiling look at the long, lively years of this thoughtful, rainbow-hued advocate for loving male/male relationships, fatherhood, an inclusive society, and pursuing one's creative dreams.”

Much appreciated!

Thanks so much to the folks at IndieReader.com for the lovely interview! I so appreciate their support.

My sincere thanks to IndieReader for awarding Never Turn Your Back on the Tide with a 2020 IndieReader Discovery Award for LGBTQ+ nonfiction. Many thanks!

Looking for a taste of my new memoir, Never Turn Your Back on the Tide, before buying? Check out the free excerpt on Medium!

Thank you, Out in Print: Queer Book Reviews, for the terrific review of Never Turn Your Back on the Tide!

Never Turn Your Back on the Tide is an enjoyable portrait of a life still in flux, well-written and thoughtfully presented–a book for those of you who married the psychopath as well as those who didn’t.