Deborah Rudell's Blog

I can’t believe my launch is here already. It seemed so far away when I set the date back in the fall. There was plenty of time … and now here it is!

Let me catch you up on what this last month has been like for a first time author!

Setting a launch date and venue was of course, huge on my mind, but December and beginnning of January are challenging to make arrangements. Venues are busy with holiday parties, celebrations and Christmas sales. People don’t want to deal with planning events in February. So it took awhile to get through the holiday fog and into clear sailing for 2025 event planning.

With the help of my publisict, we had a venue and date arranged by mid January, kind of late in my mind …  and then I found out there was another event planned on the same day with the same audience pool. Yikes! 

These last minute changes were happening on the same day as being at the DMV getting an in person DL renewal and sending away my passport for renewal. I was literally sitting on the stool in the photo booth at AAA getting my passport photos while talking on the phone about plan B and C launch scenarios.

As I was trying to rearrange the event to a new date, I found out that Camino Books will be moving to a new suite on March 1st so after February 27th, they wouldn’t be able to host an event until April. 

But, as with most upsets to perfectly good plans, there is a silver lining! After checking with my publisher, it was approved to hold the event a bit early, allowing my readers to get a head start into the journey through Grit & Grace. And, drum roll here, Marni Freedman will be interviewing me. 

Marni, along with Tracy Jones, is my original writing coach and founder of the Certificate in Memoir Writing Course at San Diego Writers, Ink. She has been a part of my writing journey since I wandered into her memoir class in 2016. We have come full circle from neophite author to a published one. I am honored that she will be with me on this, another day of completion.

Floors with rot clearly visible against the planks and frames. Concrete still in place in this image, we jackhammered it all out prior to replacing damaged structures.

Floors all replaced with hardwood and through bolted to frames. View looking forward to where stem has been removed.

Today is about the skeleton of a boat. This turned out to be a major part of Elixir’s reconstruction. The infrastructure of a wooden boat is complex and requires hundreds of hours of skilled craftsmanship, all of it hidden in the finished vessel. 

After the keel, stem and stern timbers, the frames and floors are also major structural components of a wooden boat. When building a house, the floors are like joists and the frames similar to the studs in a wall. In a house, this lumber is all square and a uniform size. 

In a boat each floor is unique in its shape and angles and fastened with multiple through bolts. The frames also are unique and steeply curved to form the boat’s shape. The planks are fastened later and attach to the frames like sheetrock attaches to the studs inside a wall.

Unbeknownst to us when we arrived and started working on Elixir, these structures were compromised with rot, and structurally unsound. Yikes, way more that we signed up for, and well beyond our knowledge and experience, which was zero. 

In the days before computers, google, internet and email, we acquired and used an extensive library of boatbuilding books and Woodenboat Magazines for our education and reference.

 Rot clearly visible in the frame alongside the floor.

Repaired frame with new hardwood spliced in and marine plywood splint sistered alongside for added support and strength.

Gavin & Hari pulling me in the go-kart in the harbor. 

While living in Kauai was truly wonderful and a perfect dream of a tropical island, it also had a few challenges. One of them was I didn’t know anyone there and needed to make new friends. Prem and her two sons became these good friends during the first year of the project before they moved to Maui. 

At the end of the project, we visited Maui during our shakedown cruise in the Hawaiian Islands. It was precious to reconnect with them in Lahaina. 

Hawaiian Islands, Maui - June 1992

“It’s good to see you again, Prem. You look great. Maui agrees with you,” I said as I hugged her. “You still have the greatest hair ever,” I laughed. She had thick brown hair with perfect shoulder-length waves that framed her face. Shorter than I, she was petite and curvaceous, the opposite of my thin almost flat chested physique. The crinkles at the corners of rich brown eyes hinted at an easy-going sense of humor.

“Hey Hari, are you taking care of your mom?” I asked as I gave him a hug too.

“Yeah,” he said bashfully, looking at the ground. “Hey, can Gavin and me go climb the tree?”

Prem and I both pointed to the numerous signs posted around the famous Lahaina Banyan Tree: ABSOLUTELY NO CLIMBING ALLOWED.

“Yeah, and there isn’t a river here to go play in the mud with either,” his mom reminded him, instantly flashing back to all the trouble those two used to get into. “Stay under the tree here, we’ll go eat in thirty minutes. Do you have your watch?” she called as they ran off, easy together as if they’d not been apart for the last few years.

 During the first year of the Elixir Project, we had visited weekly, doing the play date thing although it wasn’t called that then. Her son Hari was the same age as Gavin and the two of them shared an over-developed sense of adventure. Adventures like using their bicycles to pull me around the boat yard in the go-kart, like having mud fights in the river by the boat yard, like holding gleeking (spitting) contests in the hallway of our house, like dressing up for Halloween and coloring their skin all black and speckled until they were unrecognizable, for days, as the paint didn’t come off.

“Did you graduate?” I asked her, excited to hear how things had gone since she moved away from Kauai to go back to college and earn a degree in social work.

“Yeah, I got my bachelor’s and I’m just about done with the master’s program. Best of all, I have been able to work as a counselor while I finish up the degree,” she said, happy and shy all at the same time. When we met, she was a single mom raising two boys on a very tight budget despite several part time jobs. 

“You did it, I knew you could. That’s awesome, Prem, you’re an inspiration.” I hugged her again, appreciating all she had gone through to get to this point. She’d left Tai, her oldest son, to board with us in Lihue to finish his last months of high school when she and Hari moved to Maui. 

And now here they were, schlepping their overnight gear, ready for a sleep-over aboard Elixir and excited to experience the result of the boatyard demolition project they had seen four years before.

The next day, everyone was up by 0730 hours and after a swim and a breakfast of porridge and Postum we were out for a day sail. The winds were fifteen to twenty knots and at one point we clocked Elixir at eight point two knots with the wind off the quarter. This was amazing as her hull speed was only seven knots. When the wind died, we headed back to Mala Wharf to anchor for lunch and afternoon swims. 

Feeling relaxed and refreshed after easy visits and three days aboard, Prem and Hari packed up their gear and rowed ashore. It was a perfect and wonderful reunion with old friends.

 Hallowe'en costumes and make-up extraordinaire.

Grandpa Rudell, Gavin & I at Maha'ulepu Beach in the fall of 1988

This beach was one of my favorite places to get away to. It was south of Nawiliwili towards Poipu, the biggest tourist area of Kauai and where it was mostly sunny, skipping the daily rain showers of the rest of the island of Kauai. Access was rather circuitous, travelling through a sugar mill yard and miles of surrounding cane fields. 

Depending on the season, the terrain was like a red moon, the fresh earth exposed and waiting for planting, or like a jungle with ten-foot cane towering over the rutted red road. And then there was the blackened time, when the harvested fields were burned and the pesticide laden smoke obscured the sky. 

Sugar cane is no longer grown on the islands. However, besides undermining a healthy diet, no matter where it is grown, the sugar industry is damaging to the environment. Just another reason to get on the wagon with our sugar addiction.

Kauai cane fields between harvests.

Eventually, after miles of traversing cane fields, the coast comes back into view and the rocky landscape is green with brush. There is a cave there, an archeological site currently under excavation. It is still being used as a sacred place, the locals placing offerings of flowers and fruit. While the beaches and ocean cliffs are breathtakingly beautiful, the cave held a different magic with an ancient energy that continues to emanate a mysterious allure. 

The geographic location provides strong currents and winds, making this a wind surfing heaven during part of the year. The profusion and colors of the sails are suggestive of dozens of butterflies dancing in and above the wind-swept spray of the surf. Visiting here, I could relate to every element: the sea, the air, and the earth, a definite respite from the all-encompassing focus of our project in the harbor. 

Loading two sixty-five-foot masts from the ground under the trees on a friend’s beach property in Kapaa, Kauai.

Three guys, and a ten-year-old moved two sixty-five-foot masts (bigger than telephone poles) onto a Mazda quarter-ton truck and a U-Haul flat-bed trailer … hummm … 

Impossible load, improbable vehicle, eleven miles of congested island highway … and the eventual safe arrival in the boatyard! 

In a way, this was the implausible precedent for the following four years of the Elixir Project. 

Some of the scenarios that followed this example included: 

jackhammering several tons of cement and car parts out of the bilge

untangling and accurately reassembling truckloads of old wire and line

melting down 3500 pounds of lead

moving a 34,000-pound boat after the only crane large enough to move her, left the island

finding and using cane train wheels for a new boat trailer

finding hardwood large enough to fabricate new structural timbers for a fifty-foot vessel

using shelf paper around the dining room as a four-year project management system 

using a loupe on old and faded 3x5 long distance photographs to figure out the running and standing rigging

crossing the Pacific Ocean going into the wind, when you have never sailed across an ocean before

crossing an ocean when you know you get sea-sick 

… but then, who decides to pack up a life, and fix up an old schooner when you don’t know anything about sailing or boats? …  just saying …

As we transition into 2025, with crises on many fronts, (environmental, geographic, political, social, and economic, to name just a few) I am reminded of the above list, and how we navigated successfully, somehow. I say somehow, because we choose a project without knowing clear steps of the way forward and without any assurance of a profitable outcome. 

Once again, I am somehow, slightly outside the usual rational thought process of choosing a life path. I can see the issues, but only a fraction of them. In my mind I can see a finished, new world, even though I cannot see precise steps forward or how to take them. Every day, I can take miniscule steps in the right direction. Many years in the future, even though the years of transition may be more than my lifetime, there will be a completed boat, ready to sail across unknown territories. 

Navigating the long private drive down onto the Kapaa highway.

Stuck in island traffic going the eleven miles into Lihue. The boys are checking the load.

A successful journey and the masts are finally at home in the boatyard and reunited with their mother ship after many years apart.

Discover Grit & Grace: The Transformation of a Ship & a Soul by Deborah Rudell

Are you ready to embark on an inspiring journey of transformation, resilience, and redemption? Deborah Rudell’s upcoming release, Grit & Grace: The Transformation of a Ship & a Soul, is a story that will tug at your heartstrings and leave you reflecting on the power of perseverance and faith.

This compelling narrative invites readers to witness how a ship and a soul undergo profound transformation—both beautifully and imperfectly—through trials and triumphs. Whether you’re drawn to stories of overcoming adversity or are seeking a fresh perspective on life’s challenges, this book promises to captivate and inspire.

Here’s how you can engage with Grit & Grace before its official release:

Win a Free Copy of the Book!
Enter for a chance to win a free copy of Grit & Grace by signing up for the Compulsive Reader newsletter. It’s an easy way to stay updated on exciting new reads while possibly snagging Deborah Rudell’s book for your collection!

Check Out the NetGalley Page
Are you a reviewer or book blogger? Head over to Deborah Rudell’s NetGalley page to request an advanced reader copy of Grit & Grace. Your review could help others discover this transformative story.

Add to Your Goodreads Shelf
Don’t forget to visit Deborah Rudell’s Goodreads page to mark Grit & Grace as “Want to Read.” This helps spread the word while building excitement within the reading community. While you’re there, be sure to follow Deborah for updates and insights.

Deborah Rudell’s Grit & Grace isn’t just a book—it’s an invitation to explore what it means to find strength in the face of adversity. Be among the first to experience this transformative tale, and share your thoughts with the world.

Have you marked your calendar yet? Let us know if you’ve entered to win a copy, added the book on Goodreads, or requested a copy on NetGalley. Join the journey, and let’s celebrate this remarkable new release together!

A Big Thank You: My San Diego Voyager Interview is Live!

I’m thrilled to share some exciting news—my interview with San Diego Voyager Magazine is live! It’s such an honor to have been featured, and I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to my publisher, Holly Kammier, for recommending me, and to Mary Young, Editorial staff at the magazine for her follow-up and support.

Reflecting on my writing journey for this interview was a powerful exercise in self-awareness. Each time I articulate my story, my goals, and my passion for storytelling, I find that my message becomes more refined. Writing truly is a journey, and this experience reminded me of how much I’ve grown and where I still want to go.

Check out the full interview here: San Diego Voyager Magazine - Deborah Rudell's Story

Thank you to everyone who continues to support me on this publishing adventure!

The first turkey I ever cooked, twenty-one pounds!

How do you get to be 34 years old with a family and never cook a turkey? Have a big family and get invited out to Christmas every year? No, that wasn’t it!!! I had been a vegetarian since I left home at 18, and cooking a creature in the oven wasn’t on my list of things to accomplish in life. 

But life carries on and things change! Our time in Kauai was a very social time, having a destination address works wonders for ensuring people want to come and see you.  We had more company and family visits than I ever had before or since! 

1989 was a record year all around, however, that Christmas was very special as Tosh’s brother Tom, and his wife Lily, and their two children, Michelle and Brent, came from London, Ontario, for the holidays. 

Tosh has six siblings: five brothers and a sister and all of them have families, a huge family. They are used to big gatherings with holiday dinners for thirty people. Living far away in British Columbia, we weren’t part of these gatherings except for a few years when we flew to Ontario for Christmas. It was a definite break from tradition that we were going to host part of this clan. It was understood that part of hosting was serving a traditional turkey dinner. Initially I was nervous that I would botch it up, but overall, I was thrilled to do it and quite enjoyed the culinary adventure. Things change, so make sure you stay flexible!

I was grateful that while my diet was strict for a long time, I was never fanatical and always aware of the trade off with being a gracious guest or host, versus holding a hard line that discounts the precious gifts people offer when they cook for you. You know the ones that come for dinner and then say, “What’s in that?” and then say “Oh, I don’t eat that.” It always made me feel bad as a host when this happened. I try to never do that as a guest. 

As a host, it felt extra special to prepare food for them that they liked and found familiar, a way of quietly giving and caring for them. And as for the turkey, in my heart I held prayers of gratitude for the life that was given for us to eat.

Christmas 1989, Nicole in the Eleki Place House with an ironwood tree from the boatyard.

Cousins, Gavin and Michelle, and the novelty of spending Christmas Day at the beach.

Tosh's brother and family came from London, Ontario for Christmas on Kauai. We spent the day at the beach instead of our traditional day at the ski hill. I came home every two hours to baste the turkey. For my first one, it was delicious!

Homeschooling in the boatyard.

For a ten-year-old who hated school, I figured home schooling would be a dream come true. It would have been for me, at his age. I could have immersed myself in books and learning without having to deal with all the bullying and teasing that bright kids who wear glasses usually have to endure. 

In 1987, homeschooling was unusual and allowed only in special circumstances approved by the school board. Those categories were sick kids in the hospital or kids whose parents worked overseas. 

The entire year of lessons, exercise and textbooks were compiled and packed into several cardboard boxes.  Completed assignments were mailed back to British Columbia each week, and the corrected lessons were mailed back to us in Hawaii, complete with stickers, stars and notes from his teacher.  No computers, Zoom or email. And it was free, even the postage supplied by the district.

Gavin loved to read and learn. When we opened the boxes, he was thrilled and was immersed in them for a month, reading every textbook cover to cover. However, he was highly resistant to doing the exercises for his distance teachers. Encouragement, sitting with him, begging him, didn’t work. Not even bribing him worked. He did, however, like going to the library.

At that time, the public library in Lihue had a couple of computers and Gavin was ecstatic to be able to go and ‘play’ on them. He would also spend hours with science books, encyclopedias, and dictionaries. I would find a comfy chair and curl up with my latest historical fiction novel until he was ready to leave. But, truthfully, it was usually me that had to find him and tear him away from the computer.

When we weren’t at the library, we were in the boatyard, with school set up on ‘table rock’ under the ironwood trees and serenaded by the constant cooing of the doves, and of course, the drone of the generator.

After a year of ‘freedom’ from school, Gavin wanted to go public school in Lihue where he was exposed to Hawaiian traditions of leis, grass skirts, hula and playing the ukelele. And also the experience of being one of only five white kids amongst hundreds of Hawaiian, Japanese, Samoan and Filipino kids.

When I ask Gavin now, about his early education, he says he still loves learning but most of all he appreciates all he learned in the yard, with tools, wood, metal, paint, welding, and figuring things out. “Oh yeah,” he says, “I also learned a lot about sailing and boats and the sea.”

Playing in the river mud with his friend, Hari.

Fifth grade Graduation in Lihue.

Major dismantling of a ship: rot-filled stem successfully removed!

Proud master craftsman, new stem successfully resculpted out of rosewood.

The deeper we went, the more rot we found. Even the large timbers of the stem and stern were unsound and needed to be replaced. This presented another dilemma: that of finding hardwood in big enough chunks to fabricate replacement parts. 

We heard about a man on the island who used to bring hardwood out of South America on his boat. While he had sold his boat and bought land in Kilauea, he still had a barn full of odd slabs of hardwood left over from his wood importing days. 

We went to meet him, and when he heard we needed the wood for structural pieces, he didn’t want to sell it to us. This was Hawaiian Koa, rosewood, ebony, brown heart, padauk and merbau, all beautiful hardwoods used for show pieces in exotic furniture, trims and sculptures. It was a sacrilege to use it for structural components, to be hidden away from view forever!

However, he eventually gave in and we were able to purchase most of our replacement wood from him. We also got a shipment of huge Honduras mahogany planks from a hardwood supplier up in Washington state.

The stem of a boat is like a jigsaw puzzle. The angles of the cuts and interlocking pieces all add to the strength of the hull. The only piece of hard wood that was large enough to replace the old stem was rosewood and it was a work of art, alas, eventually covered up by the planking and paint as the project progressed.