Mark McIntosh's Blog

With the holiday and flu season in full swing your knucklehead scribe was shuffling through the Cherry Creek Shopping Center. It was an attempt at exercise while battling a nasty bug drastically reducing my energy level.
While making two laps the ol’ cranium wandered to a holiday moment long ago. Beautiful daughter, 21 years old next month, had gathered many gift cards and was eager to cash in. However, there was a problem. This was during sportscasting days at CBS4 and it was a Denver Broncos’ Sunday afternoon. Duty called. I had to keep track of the Broncos. Hah, how silly of me.
“Daddy, let’s go to the mall today!” squealed the young lass about five or six at the time. “Sweetie, the Broncos play today. Dad has to watch the game.” It was a rather forceful denial. The blue-eyed princess won that battle. Off we went to shop. I’ve run three marathons, played multiple sports through the years but nothing is more painful than shopping. About two hours into the ordeal, with many gifts being acquired, I thought the journey was complete. Once again, shame on me.

“One more stop and we’re done,” commanded this precious and athletic soul. I staggered into the store, collapsed into a chair and complained to another father seemingly stuck in the same predicament. A short while later, Rachel returned and pronounced it was time to depart. With a mixture of elation and frustration we waited in line to finish the transaction. My mood shifted dramatically when I noticed the employee folding a shirt for my daughter. Across the front, in big and bold letters, it declared, “Daddy’s Little Girl.”
I share that story often when speaking to groups about the importance of keeping a curious and not callous attitude about life. Had this ol’ jock gotten his way, I would have missed a wonderful expression of love. Fast forward about 15 years later, that memory warmed my heart while making laps and trying to rid the body of aches and pains associated with the crud.

Keeping a curious and not callous attitude about life? Easier said than done. Often it requires just showing up and ya know, “Seeing what happens.” That was certainly the case recently when sitting in a  Jefferson (CO.) County courtroom for “Vet Court.” I have written before about this wonderful problem-solving program. A Stronger Cord is proud to serve veterans trying to comeback from brushes with addiction and incarceration while adjusting to life after active duty.
A man making progress in the program was speaking to the judge about goals for the coming week. What he said applies to all of us. “I am going to take the bull by the horns and, instead of counting the days, I’m going to make the days count!”

When least expected, life offers reminders to great lessons. From checkout lines to seats in a courtroom. The key is curiosity. This week, take the bull by the horns and make the days count. The results might be the greatest gift received this holiday season!

A dapperly dressed man was recently standing before a judge in the La Plata (CO.) County courthouse. It had been nine months since the same woman had ordered the father of two darling girls to the Denver Rescue Mission’s New Life Program. Considering the serious drug and weapon charges, it was that or jail. A once, self proclaimed, “Strung out meth addict”  had transformed into a healthy and handsome dude. Everybody, especially the judge took notice. “Brandon. Things sure have changed.”
Sitting in the back of the courtroom with the 29-year-old’s family and another A Stronger Cord volunteer (“Mama Knucklehead” Marie Coleman) it was tough to hold back tears. The journey is far from complete but early returns are promising. While basking in the warmth of the celebration of probation and no jail time, the ol’ cranium kept recalling the judge’s words, “Things have changed.”
It was 1989. Your knucklehead scribe was a sports “TV guy” for CBS4 in Denver, Colorado. A primary beat was covering the University of Colorado athletic program. In particular, the football team then led by Hall of Fame football coach Bill McCartney. The young Buffs were rising in national prominence and, undefeated, heading for Norman, Oklahoma for a battle with the scandal-ridden but talented Sooners under first-year coach Gary Gibbs.

The Buffaloes had not won in Norman since 1965. Many national media pundits believed this test against Oklahoma, especially on the road where CU had not won in 25 years, would be a bubble-busting game. Because CBS4 was “Home of the Buffs” at the time, this ol’ jock was blessed to travel on the team plane. I’ll take to the grave the memory of boarding a charter for that much anticipated trip into enemy territory. As the Buffs’ players, coaches and staff boarded, it was impossible to miss. Each was wearing a shirt making a big and bold statement: “THINGS HAVE CHANGED.” They certainly had. A day later, the Buffs on the way to a “One Heart Beat” season and national title game, whipped OU 20-3. It wasn’t that close.
Things change, always do. What’s the ol’ saying, “The only thing constant is change?” Well, if we believe that’s true, when life’s unwanted and unexpected experiences create chaos? Will things become better or worse? Students or victims of life’s crap? Our choice, choose wisely.
A once troubled young man is blossoming with a new spirit and moving swiftly through the Mission’s excellent program. The athletic Durango native is also becoming a leader within this band of ASC Knuckleheads trying to unite communities with wellness. Things have changed. Same with the Buffs that magical year. They believed.

What about us? We know, there are challenges present. We all have our stuff. Where is it time to believe things can change in admirable ways? Home? Work? Elsewhere? Maybe it has absolutely nothing to do with the locale. Instead, perhaps, it’s the spirit we’re bringing to the party?
Learning and benefitting from life’s journey. It’s worked for Brandon and the Buffs. Why not us?

Suzanne Wolf’s a friend, educator and author. The empathetic soul recently posted something inspiring on Facebook. It was a quote from peace activist Mahatma Gandhi: “The best way to find ourselves is to lose ourselves in service to others.” Amen brother.

Folks, this is no great revelation but it’s what our country needs in large doses these days. It’s also an A Stronger Cord foundational principle in encouraging the downtrodden while uniting communities with wellness. Could it be? For those on the comeback trail from life’s derailing moments that, the quest to “find” oneself must include losing ourselves in service to others? Four years into this community wellness program, one thing has become crystal clear: those receiving lots of services need an equal opportunity to perform good works. Constantly receiving dampens a person’s sense of value while consistently giving operates in reverse. It confirms the truth of, “It’s better to give than receive.”
“Uncle Jordan is a big strong guy isn’t he?” this ol’ jock joked with a darling four-year-old boy living in a public housing community in Denver’s northeast Park Hill neighborhood. The handsome young man was riding on the shoulders of a great dude who recently graduated from the Denver Rescue Mission's "New Life Program" and is very active in ASC. Each Saturday, the non profit YEP (Youth Enrichment Program) serves kids living with little sense of normalcy.  A big problem is the lack of positive adult, especially male, role models. Guys like Jordan are positive influences and get a big boost emotionally because they’re serving others. We’re losing these kids to the gangs. We must give them another team to play on! Why not utilize men and women on the comeback trail from their own isolation, like guys in recovery programs? Marginalized and displaced kids and adults, joining others, and building a stronger cord to one another with relationship building and community service? It’s a blessing to observe and good for all.


Playing off that realization, why not connect displaced adults with our nation’s isolated seniors? It’s the driving force behind the Knuckleheads’ passionate support of Bessie’s Hope. For more than 20 years its been building bridges between generations while serving elderly residing in assisted-living facilities. 60% of our nation’s seniors living in such environments NEVER have visitors. Kids and adults from all walks of life spending time singing, dancing and visiting those in the twilight of their journey? Wow, it’s rewarding.
These are uncertain times for non profit and governmental agencies serving the less fortunate. Social programs are vulnerable amid the craziness. The numbers are growing and the dollars are shrinking. What to do? Why not heed the wise words of one of the world’s most respected figures?


Gandhi led India to independence from Great Britain. Before his 1948 death at the age of 78, the acclaimed “Father of a Nation” inspired freedom movements worldwide. The former lawyer encouraged anybody willing to listen to find themselves in service to others.
This week, let’s open our souls to those wise words.

“Your honor,” stated the military veteran in humble fashion, “I’m just trying to take it one day at a time.”
The truthful comment came from a handsome young man enrolled in Jefferson County Colorado’s “Vet Court.” He was standing before a compassionate judge and explaining the good, bad and ugly of an attempted comeback from chronic issues plaguing his life since military discharge. America has lots of vets struggling with PTSD, depression, substance abuse and mental illness. 

A Stronger Cord is building relationships with soldiers who served our nation. My late father (Marine) and three uncles served. The Knuckleheads embrace the call to offer veterans a wellness movement encouraging exercise, relationship building and community service. The more fit, connected and giving vets become, the healthier, more willing and able they also become to building a stronger cord to families, purpose and communities. Everybody wins.
Anyway, as your scribe sat nearby with others dedicated to these warriors’ well being, the ol’ cranium wandered to a memory. “Mark!” bellowed a good-looking dude. “I really enjoyed your message, thanks for sharing.” The two of us were in a Denver parking lot. This ol’ jock had just delivered a Pep Talk at an early-morning men’s fellowship gathering. I was startled while walking toward my car and lost in thought. Suddenly a dude with a neatly-trimmed beard was front and center. “I’d like to share my life’s mission statement since getting sober long ago.” I enthusiastically nodded and muttered, “Lay it on me, buddy.”

What this well-tanned man offered has stuck like glue. Apparently, most attribute First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt with its origin. Regardless, what this beautiful soul muttered was awesome: “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow’s but a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” Wow. Sure, we can deny it. However, truth is, all we have is RIGHT NOW. On this roller coaster somebody coined life, there are no guarantees. 
Back to the moment of being present in a Jefferson County courtroom, squirming, while quietly cheering on this veteran. After his comment to the judge, a long-ago charge, from a parking-lot stranger, reverberated the aging skeleton. Life is tough. Success is not a given. Odds of victory improve if we let go of the past, think about the future but focus on the present. Yep. Real simple to talk about, far harder to execute. For struggling veterans and us. The trials and tribulations often come from unexpected and unwanted origins. They are physical, emotional, spiritual or financial in nature. Whatever IT is, we must address it. One day at a time. As well as possible.

How? Well, before this uncertain veteran completed a ten-minute conversation with a supportive judge, another advocate muttered something quite wise. Peer mentor coordinator Joseph Ellis, a veteran in recovery himself, offered, “Focus on doing the next right thing.”
Amen, brother. Whattaya say we give it a shot this week? Right now is a gift. Unwrap it with gusto and focus on the next right thing!

The beautiful woman looked your scribe straight in the eyes. “I was born 97 years ago in Havana, Cuba, moved to New York City when I was about six and ventured to Colorado....God knows when.” We laughed heartily at the craziness of reaching almost a century of living and having memory issues. Sista, it happens to dudes four decades younger, too.
This fabulous conversation was toward the end of A Stronger Cord's visit with elderly residents at Forest Street Compassionate Center in Denver’s northeast Park Hill neighborhood. On the second and fourth Saturdays of the month, the Knuckleheads support Bessie's Hope and its service to our nation’s seniors living largely isolated lives. Sixty percent of our nation’s elderly residing away from home NEVER have visitors. This community wellness program, in partnering with nonprofits like Bessie’s Hope, is determined to reduce that dismal number. It’s unacceptable. America’s seniors deserve better.
As we continued the conversation, this vibrant nonagenarian learned of a story in that morning’s Denver Post. A fellow 97-year-old, Robert McAdam, had set a world record in his age group at the recent Highlands Ranch Turkey Day 5K. “Wow, that’s pretty cool. We are blessed.”
Admiration for this amazing soul and other residents who ventured from their rooms to sing, dance and visit was off the charts. The room was buzzing with similar conversations focused on humans with much to give but few opportunities, because of their isolation, to engage in the process.

For whatever reason, the ol’ cranium wandered back to something Father Greg Boyle, founder and leader of Home Boy Industries, had to say about life. It’s up and downs. The good, bad and ugly. The Los Angeles-based Jesuit priest is a mentor. He recently fired off an email that concluded with, “Lament can’t get a foothold if gratitude gets there first.” Amen, buddy.
Living 97 years like this fabulous new friend? The brown-eyed beauty has seen it all. From further conversation, it was learned she moved to Denver on a whim. “I can’t remember how long ago.” We laughed again before she turned serious, “I count my blessings everyday.”
Lament can’t get a foothold on this incredible woman who has no family in Denver. The 30 or so ASC volunteers present dubbed her “The Dancing Queen” upon her arrival in the Forest Street community room. “I heard all the commotion out here and wanted to join the party!” Carol proclaimed while, steadily handling a walker, prancing into the room. It was awesome.

Lament or gratitude? Which to choose? Lament’s defined as “To feel or express great sorrow or regret.” Meanwhile, gratitude’s definition is, “Feeling or showing one values a kindness or benefit received.”
Whether living to almost 100, or wherever we’re positioned chronologically on this roller coaster called life, many experiences force us into sorrow and regret. Stuff happens. The big question becomes, how long does lament linger? Be determined to not let it get a foothold. 
With time, allow gratitude to grow, limit lament and pray we never forget the value of such belief.

Your knucklehead scribe usually has several passengers on Friday mornings but not this time. “I feel like a father whose son has his own car and no longer wants a ride.” I was sharing these feelings with my octogenarian mother who usually enjoys, each Friday, a long-distance phone chat with guys on the comeback trail from addiction and incarceration. They’re active in A Stronger Cord and regulars for the weekly men’s faith-fortifying fellowship. Yours truly is their Uber driver.
Not anymore. One of the fellow Knucks is working full time, serving others and recently purchased a gently used car and wanted to show it off. All the usual passengers had blown me off to ride with their buddy. Mom was laughing hysterically.  “Now you know how I felt when you kids (three siblings) started maturing and no longer needed so much of my attention. It’s hard to let go.” A short time later, after checking out the clean Camry and kidding, “Nobody wanted to ride with the old man,” we truly learned a lesson about, faithfully, letting go.

Platoon had a special guest, Rod Davis. Raised on the tough streets of Oakland, California those experiences, others and natural gifts have sparked an amazing ministry. Straight from the TEARS (True Evangelism Always Requires Sacrifice) website: “In 1995, Roderick (Rod) Davis sold all he owned.  He went with his wife, Twila, and two toddler children and moved to the slums of the Dominican Republic and subjected themselves to the same conditions in which the Dominicans live, including poverty and sickness.  As they began to haul water each day, deal with infrequent electrical power, and wash clothes by hand, their suburban lifestyle in Portland seemed far away. This was the beginning of TEARS, a ministry to some of the poorest people in the Caribbean.”  
The family was constantly sick because of contaminated water used to drink, bathe, wash clothes and cook. The couple was also constantly questioning their decision. “Why would someone give up a comfortable life in the United States to live a life of poverty in a third-world country?  Although we were involved in Portland inner-city ministry,” Rod says, “We got the sense God was leading us to make a dramatic change.”

More than two decades later, the Davis’ perseverance has paid off handsomely. The barrio they call home has clean water and a school with more than 400 students. Many graduates earn college degrees and return as teachers. TEARS is now raising money to build a second school in the Caribbean nation. Rod’s mission is to “live with the marginalized, understand their plight and serve them better.” Awesome!
Listening, I was mesmerized about those seasons of life when we must let go, put fear aside and allow wonderment to win. It probably won’t be as radical as Rod’s, but where is it time to take a leap into the great unknown? A better question might be, “How?”

The engaging man has the answer: “Love is the root and sacrifice is the fruit.” Amen, dude!

It was a real joy to recently host the third Denver Dream Center gala showcasing the loving and important work this community outreach church provides in underserved parts of the Mile High City.
Throughout a spectacular gathering (one social worker called it, “Life changing”) there were many videos and testimonies to the value DDC delivers in trying address Denver’s growing need for services to rescue people, rebuild lives and restore dreams. Good stuff.
During the event your knucklehead scribe had the pleasure to comment about the DDC’s “Sports” program. It offers a variety of sports camps for underserved kids and is an effort to use athletics as a magnet to spark dreams and unite communities. Sports. What an awesome equalizer and connector.


The guy running the blossoming program is Rodney White. The Pennsylvania native was the ninth-overall selection in the 2001 NBA Draft. The engaging man played briefly with Detroit, the team that drafted him, before joining the Denver Nuggets for a good stint, then Golden State for less than a season and finally, finishing his professional career with several seasons overseas. That was then and this is now.
Today the father of three has devoted his life in faithful service to others. The articulate man always talks about being a “vessel” of love, kindness and encouragement. Right on dude. Can you imagine? What would this world look like if we all focused on being vessels of love, kindness and encouragement to others? Holy smokes. Be still my heart.

It’s certainly the mission of A Stronger Cord through all its activities, especially Service Saturdays. Whether supporting the Denver Dream Center and its “Adopt A Block” program or Bessie's Hope and its wonderful efforts with elderly residing in assisted-living (60% NEVER have visitors), the Knuckleheads are devoted vessels. People from all walks of life, whether black, white or brown, living in a mission, mansion or on Main Street encouraging others to become more fit, connected and giving. All the while offering love, kindness and encouragement to our communities’ isolated, vulnerable and displaced citizens. Join us. The effort is fun and rewarding.
The mind wanders to a young man standing before a Jefferson County, (CO.) magistrate judge. He’s a U.S. military veteran, a participant in Jeffco’s "problem solving" courts (ASC is involved too) and, admittedly, has struggled since leaving active duty. The handsome young man is not alone. As he conversed with the judge, several volunteers from the Vietnam Veterans of America were present in the courtroom in support a fellow soldier. Older men in their late 60’s to early 70’s, with personal stories of dealing with war’s lousy aftermath, present in providing love, kindness and encouragement.

Each of us has a chance to be a vessel of hope. Look around. In all likelihood, you will not have to look far to see opportunities. Like many points White scored in his long pro basketball career before turning to ministry? Investing time, talents and treasures in others is a slam dunk. 

“This much I know,” was stated to a young man on the comeback trail from addiction and incarceration. “I believe in you.” We had just completed, at least for a dude almost 60 years old, a rigorous hour of Denver Dream Center-sponsored three-on-three half court hoops.
The gifted athlete is doing well as he works two minimum-wage jobs while living in a Denver area halfway house. Work demands and transportation challenges have the 23-year-old awake nearly 20 hours a day. Not much time for sleep. While we cooled down, he talked about the effects. “I don’t have a lot of energy.”
That exhaustive statement is what sparked your knucklehead scribe to utter, what Hall of Fame coach Bill McCartney calls, “The four most powerful words in the English language.” For the tired and weary needing a healthy does of hope and confidence: “I believe in you.” This buddy needed an encouragement booster shot.
Having others supporting our efforts to become better? Wow. It’s powerful. Less than two days later proof to the power of “I believe in you” played out when around 30 folks showed up to watch another young man on the comeback trail. He’s become active in A Stronger Cord while participating in the Denver Rescue Mission’s New Life Program. The, also, athletically-gifted 29-year-old was returning to boxing after a prolonged absence. The Knuckleheads showed up in force to send a clear call to a promising young man. “We believe in you.”
Folks from all walks of life were gathered ringside to encourage Brandon Hughes. A powerfully visual “We believe in you!” demonstration. We all need support on this roller coaster journey with its unexpected twists, turns and loops of frustration, misfortune and unfairness. Caution. Do not ride alone.
Recently this ol’ jock was sitting in a Jefferson County, (CO.), courtroom for “Vet Court.” Full disclosure, I sit on the board of Court Support Jeffco. It’s a nonprofit supporting the county’s four “Problem-solving” courts. They’re designed to help veterans and others trying to bounce back from adversity. ASC is passionately involved in this space. One of the vets was standing before an inspiring judge who does a great job. The young and handsome vet, when questioned about goals and challenges, kept mentioning his need to “Amend relationships” with others effected by his past behavior.
Those words keep ringing in my ears. “Amend the relationship.” Quite often the first relationship in need of adjustment? The complex and sometimes confusing one with the one in the mirror. All the support and encouragement in the world will not matter if we can’t muster the ability to believe it ourselves. I know, when the physical, emotional, spiritual and financial crap is calling, far easier to talk about than to execute.
Amending relationships, believing in a brighter future and building a stronger cord with others trying to do the same. Heck, in these challenging times, maybe we could change the rallying cry from “I believe in you” to “We believe in us!”

“I tried to kill myself when I was 16,” said the young man now barely of legal drinking age. He continued, “My dad’s first reaction? Too bad it didn’t work.” Wow. Are you kidding me?
Your knucklehead scribe’s heart ached in hearing, from a smart but vulnerable soul now in a Denver-area recovery program, the most powerful of many horrible childhood memories. This good dude is active in A Stronger Cord. A buddy. Personally, there’s a sobering statement used too often these days upon learning the tragic stories of those on the comeback trail from whatever ails. This ol’ jock mutters frequently, “I admire you’re still trying.”
This sports fanatic was helping me pick up trash on the Union Baptist Church campus in northeast Denver’s Park Hill neighborhood. Each Monday night, ASC uses the basement gym sitting below a two-story school on the three-acre campus. In return, we keep the grounds clean. Two dudes were trash talking. One of the topics? America has too many marginalized and displaced folks. A major reason? The absence of nurturing families and mentors. We are products of our environments. If neglect, abuse and disdain dominate, the outcome should shock no one. It is rarely good. This bundle of human potential had been dealt a very bad hand. However, he’s making progress in becoming a student of the heinous experience and re-entering society with hope. 

“My counselor is amazed at my survival skills.” Amen, dude, I’ll certainly second that! As we continued the trash talk, my mind wandered to an earlier conversation about enduring life’s “thorns and thistles.” We all have them, although rarely as egregious. Regardless of the craziness defining our past, the question always becomes, “Are we going to learn from tribulations or allow a lousy past to constantly prick at the future?
What can we, as a society, do to encourage the growing number of folks who have had few, or no, guiding principles? Here comes the education received while earning a master’s degree in journalism from Mizzou: Keep it simple stupid.
What can we do? Spend time with those less fortunate. This Missouri native can’t resist: Show them a different way. In this super busy world in which we live, slow down and invest time in someone who deserves better. If struggling for ideas, please sample a free and inclusive wellness program emphasizing fitness, relationship building and community service in building a stronger cord to one another. For the past four years, ASC volunteers have been providing a sense of family that many lack in their valiant attempts to overcome terrible physical and emotional experiences. The Knuckleheads welcome you. We have a variety of fun, engaging and rewarding opportunities to serve others.
Just an ol’ fart’s opinion, but now would be a good time to heed King Solomon’s wise words muttered 3,000 years ago: “One will be overpowered, two can defend themselves but a cord of three strands is not easily broken.”
Together, for others like a trash-talking buddy, let’s replace hopelessness with hope and cherish killing any notion we don’t care.

Your scribe was hanging out with fellow knuckleheads the other day when somebody asked, “Anybody got a praise report?” My hand shot up immediately. “Darling wife and I just celebrated our three-year anniversary. Guys, it’s a perfect example. If at first you don’t succeed? Try....try....again!”
The dudes present are in the Denver Rescue Mission's "New Life Program." I love these guys and cherish time with them. Through A Stronger Cord, they have become brothers and know my marital history well. I certainly didn’t plan on being married three times; didn’t plan on making life challenging for two beautiful kids (one from each previous marriage) but holy smokes, what a blessing the journey has become. Why? It opened the door for an amazing woman (together 15 years now) to enter. Stealing lines from the Little River Band’s 1976 hit, this blessed man posted on Facebook to the beautiful, smart and generous heart-stealer, “Happy anniversary baby. I got you on my mind!”
Life. A roller coaster of unexpected twists and turns. Often, leaving us wondering, “What? Why? Me?” Let’s hope, it also begs another critical question: “How to move forward?” Which leads to an even more important consideration: How to become a student, not victim, of the experience and prevail against what, currently, ails  body, mind and/or spirit? 
On the comeback trail, what to do in achieving goals and overcoming challenges? Here’s an idea. It was sparked from, a few days after announcing our wedding anniversary, listening to Denver Dream Center's  CB Barthlow encourage men living in a Denver-area halfway house. The dynamic speaker presented three ideas that warmed my marrow. I hope, yours too.
First, the pastor implored incarcerated men nearing re-entry to society (ASC works with them too) to, “Know who you are!” Amen. All of us are uniquely created with God-given gifts and talents. At least that’s what I believe. For many, those gifts have been buried beneath unproductive “stuff.” Still, with a little digging, those talents, can be unearthed. The wise man continued, “If money, time and circumstances were not an issue, what would you do? What’s your purpose?” Be honest. That’s a tough one to answer truthfully. Whether living in a mission, mansion or on Main Street.
Then Barthlow mentioned something so powerful in a second point: “Who needs to shut up?” Brother, double amen! Negative self talk? Association with other negative contributors? We need boundaries for voices, ours and others, offering lousy words in detrimental tones. Negatoids. They’re quite damaging.
After discovering purpose and building boundaries, Barthlow’s third point implored using “Any healthy and productive means necessary” to achieve goals and overcome challenges. Sometimes, you gotta get creative and think outside the box. Right on man.
How about remembering this moment as an anniversary of new thought? Of living life with purpose, boundaries and creativity? That terrific trio is a cord of three strands not easily broken and could be a great personal gift to use daily, not just once a year.