Lee Argus's Blog

I’ll no longer be blogging. Rose has been asking for privacy, and I respect her decision. 

It has been months, almost half a year, or longer, I believe. 

I finished my academy, and my probational work period. I'm working full-time, 10-12 hour shifts. I'm reminded that I owe it to my friends, family, and readers to have Book 3 of The Road to Nowhere out. Two people that I know have passed on, but while they were alive, they had asked when was book 3 going to be released. I've reflected on how short time can be. 

For sometime, I took a break from writing when it no longer became fun to write. I was hard on myself, being a perfectionist. Countless re-writes, deleting whole chapters, thickening the plot, changing the ending, over thinking it all led to me needing to step back from the project. 

Book 1 was released only because my wife had gone through chapter by chapter, re-writing, polishing it up, and adding where it needed substance. With her encouragement and her co-authoring it, we released it, and shortly after, it was picked up by Permuted Press. With Book 2, I had a deadline I had to reach, and I wasn't happy with the end result. I probably should've extended the deadline for a more polished novel. 

I've taken my time with book 3, and I hope it will reflect that when it is finally published.

My work for DHS takes up much of my time, and by the time I do come home, I sleep, wake up, workout, and head back out to work. If left alone, I don't think I can have Book 3 of The Road to Nowhere out. 

My wife is setting some of her time aside, to do the same as she did for book 1. She's going chapter by chapter, and polishing it up. She was working on a science fiction novel, but she's put her project aside, to help me get The Road to Nowhere out. You can follow her progress on her blog. She just created her blog this week, but she will be updating it soon with chapter by chapter progress.

https://rosalynargus.blogspot.com/

 I graduate on June 3rd from my academy. Time has been passing by quickly.

I was able to fly home earlier in the month, to visit my wife and daughter. They're doing good, and it was a great feeling to be back home with the family, even if it was only for a day.

Today is our anniversary. It's hard not being there with my wife, but I'm counting down the days until I graduate. 

We've been together for years. Since 2008. 

I thought I'd blog about marriage in general during my lunch break 😅. 

I think its hard now days to have a lasting marriage, and it really does take work and the willingness of both partners to stay committed to eachother. 

I can name a handful of times when I was either seduced, or someone knew I was married but didn't care, or where I accidentally put off the wrong signals that led someone to pursue me. There's a lot of temptation out there, but it's easy to stay grounded when you love your family, and when you've lived enough to learn, no the grass usually isn't greener. 

Ive seen it often in the lives of others, enough to see the destruction or depression. I've also almost lost my wife by making a huge mistake, and the time we spent apart taught me, I can't be happy without her in my life.

I know my wife. I know every aspect of her, and I know that she's the best woman I've ever met or will meet in my lifetime. Her kindness, her willingness to forgive, her happiness she spreads, her big heart, her intelligence, her personality and how she is always thinking of others before herself--

She has qualities that I admire and it challenges me to be a better person.

I've dated here and there prior to my marriage... enough to know that people aren't always what they want you to think they are or how they present themselves to you. Sometimes it's just a facade. They act and say all the right things because they know that's what will get you to give them a chance... but when you really get to know them, they're not that person they led you to believe they were. 

I think it takes a minimum of 2 years to really get to know a person, thoroughly, and to decide if they're a good fit for you or not, and if they're a genuine person. 

I've been with partners who claimed to like all the things I liked, or changed themselves to be what they think I'm into. 

What I like about my wife, is that she's real. She's strongly opinionated about what she's into and what she's not into and she doesn't conform to fit in. She's her authentic self. 

She's funny, lively, weird, cool, faithful, religious, and a woman that I know isn't using me. She was with me when I had nothing, and hopefully will continue to be with me for the rest of our lives. 

Younger women may come around, or older, or even prettier, or whatever the case, but I have no interest. My heart belongs to her. Everyone else pales in comparison.

When your heart knows, it knows, and nothing can take that love away. 

Happy Anniversary Jennie! Miss you~

Heres to many, many more years to come🌷

My Angel♡

Hope you all take care and enjoy your day(Me in my dorm room)

I'm on track for graduation. I have less than 70 days here in New Mexico, and then it's onto my permanent duty station in Texas. 
My wife is back in California with my daughter, but I'm flying home in 2 weeks for a day. Its always hard to go back to work, and to leave them, but my wife always says God takes care of her and keeps her strong. 
I'm looking forward to graduating soon, so we can move forward with our lives together. Right now it's been hectic at the academy. They keep us busy. 
My wife and I are on the phone as soon as I'm off work, and while I'm at work, she keeps me updated with what's going on back at home. 
Her heart continues to improve. She's on a lower dose of ivabradine. She had a holter monitor for 2 weeks, just to see how her heart is doing. 
She picked up bronchitis and had to go to the ER, but she's on steroid medication and antibiotics, and is doing much better today than a few days ago. 
I think technology helps a lot, with being able to still feel connected, even though we're states apart. We watch movies together on the VR every once and a while, we video or voice calls or text, and we play on the switch a lot together. She got me into playing overwatch on it. She usually plays as a healer (support), while I play as a tank or damage. I also try to take flights once a month to see her and the family. 
In between all the studying after work, I try to go on runs or I work out at the gym. A lot of the academy requires physical endurance and strength. With a little over 2 months left, I'm just trying to stay as fit as possible for the final physical tests that are upcoming. 
Hope you're all doing well, and enjoying your Sunday.

Me while running this morning.
My wife and the pictures she sent me this week

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas, and hoping we all make the best of this New Year. 

I've been busy, first with Seattle's Fire Academy, but it wasn't for me. I've changed career paths. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I feel more right in this position than any other. I think I've finally found my calling that God intended for me. 

 I'm doing a 5 month long academy, currently in New Mexico, but after the academy my duty station will be in Texas. When life settles down, I'd like to pick writing back up. I know it's been such a long time, and the Road to Nowhere 3 has just been collecting dust, figuratively speaking.

 (I have to live on post)

I'm grateful for this year, and all the growth and changes I've made. I'm 41 years old, but it took this long to find myself. I know the path I want to take, and nothing has ever been so clear. My wife has been with me for 13 years. She's made me a better person throughout the years, and is the reason why I've found God. She's the kind of person you gravitate to, and you don't want to lose, because you know there's something very special about them. My New Year's resolution is to make this year a good year for her, and to grow old with her. I'm blessed to have her. 

 

My daughter turned 13 in December. It's hard to believe I have a teenager. I'm flying home to visit my family in a few days, and I can't wait to see them again. I've only been gone from home a month, but it feels like forever.

My wife got another dog. Have you all seen the movie The Burbs? She named her dog "Queenie", as a nod to one of her favorite movies. We still have Koda and Kylo, and my wife has her hands full now with 3 dogs and our teenage daughter. 

 

Koda is the Husky, Kylo is the Chinese Crested Chihuahua, and Queenie is a Shorkie (shitzu, yorkie mix)

Anyways, I just wanted to update you all with what I've been up to, and to wish you all a Happy New Years!

Be safe out there

-Lee

 

Hello, I know the virus is something that can get people heated over politics. I'd like to leave politics aside, and just share our families experience, and how we each handled the virus. 
I thought it would be helpful to share our experience. For me, I've had colds that were a lot worse than what I dealt with. I felt tired, I had a minor cough, but that was about the extent of it. I was lucky. I usually eat a lot of healthy food; protein, minimum amount of carbs, protein drinks, huel, high fiber, no artificial sugars, honey, fruits, veggies, coffee, and water is usually my go-to drink of choice (waters higher in ph, like Fiji and Evian or even the Costco Kirkland brand). I work out 2-3 hours a day, usually strength training and some cardio. For the most-part, I am healthy, and I take probiotic gummies and vitamins to help strengthen my immune system. I think the virus didn't effect me that much because of my healthier lifestyle. I thank God for keeping me and my family safe. 🙏💙
My 12 year old daughter has asthma. She usually is fairly sedentary due to her asthma. She enjoys playing video games, and home- school keeps her busy with school work, online meetings, and tests. She's sedentary, but maintains a 4.0 GPA. She was a lot more active before the virus lockdowns. When she contracted the virus, she immediately developed a cough, fatigue, a runny nose, fevers, and two months later, pneumonia.  We took her to the ER for her pneumonia, and she got better from there. She was sick for 3 months, and tested positive for that length of time. It was difficult seeing her and my wife sick, but I was relieved that I was well enough to take care of them. 
My wife has a pre-existing condition. She is recovering from inappropriate synus tachycardia, and is on ivabradine for it. She was on bed rest for several months, and on November 29th 2020, her father came to visit and stayed the night. We did not know he was sick, but he was showing symptoms that we shrugged off as allergies. Three days later, my wife felt physically off. She described it as her body feeling tired. She developed a cough, lost her sense of smell and taste, had fevers, night sweats, chills, trembles, pneumonia, and at that point we took her to the ER and confirmed the pneumonia and gave her medication to help.  She had pneumonia for 2 months and had to be taken into the ER for low oxygen levels. She began to have difficulty breathing. They gave her oxygen, plasma, and she was eventually able to go home with oxygen and more prescriptions for the lingering pneumonia. She stood on oxygen for about a month at home. 3 months into her still testing positive for the virus, she developed a rash. It started to spread on her thigh, back, stomach. They said it was unusual for the virus to cause a covid rash on adults, and usually the rash occurs early on during the infection. The virus also added further strain to her heart, and made her heart elevated more so than usual. Cardiology told her to keep on bedrest until she recovered from the virus. She was sick a total of 4 months from the virus and developed chronic fatigue as well as lung scarring. They found lung scarring after an ER trip that revealed she had also developed thick blood. They were concerned about a possible blood clot, so they gave her a CT scan. We were lucky that she had never been on a ventilator, but they had given her Bamlanivimab to help her body fight off the virus during her last ER stay. She recovered well afterwards. 
She's in the physical therapy part of her recovery after being on bedrest for nearly 11 months, four of those months she was sick from the virus. 
We were excited to see my parents after we recovered, earlier this month, and they spent several days here. However, four days into their stay, my wife and daughter began to get sick again. My mother was throwing up while she was here, but they never said they were sick.
We're not sure if it's just a stomach bug, or the virus again. We don't go out. We don't socialize. I was on family medical leave (to take care of my wife), so I didn't get sick from co-workers. We are careful to sanatize our groceries with anti bacterial wipes. We use hand sanitizers, and since I'm the only one that goes out to get groceries, I do wear my mask and use a sanitation wipe on the grocery cart as well. We do all this because we don't want the virus again, since my wife and daughter had a hard time fighting the virus off. We learned the hard way, that as much as we love family, until the virus is over, it isn't a good time to have them over. You can be responsible, but if they aren't being careful, they can get you sick. 
My wife and I pray for all of you out there dealing with the virus, loss of work, and difficulties. We love you, and hope you all stay strong.
 
   My 12 year old, Ev.

  While my wife and daughter was sick, I brought home a new puppy for them to help lift their spirits. My wife and daughter let me name her. We call her Koda. She's a German Shepherd, Husky mix.

 My beautiful wife after she got off the oxygen. She was still on bedrest, but would sometimes join me in the car and play on her phone while I grocery shopped.

 The week we brought Koda home. She's grown so fast in such a short amount of time! 💙

 Koda is mostly an indoor dog, but this is her enjoying the back yard.

 Valentine's day. I usually get my daughter some chocolates lol.

 My wife. I can stare into her eyes all day. 🥰I got her that cross necklace she's wearing in this picture. She wears it everyday and never takes it off. She said it meant a lot to her. She said it'll be a reminder to keep having faith that she will get better, and yo say her prayers daily. She doesn't like anything flashy or gaudy, and she's very religious, so I thought she'd like it.She introduced me to Christianity. This year was when I really found myself and my faith. 

 This was us 13 years ago. We celebrated our anniversary this April, on the 20th. I'm 40 years now, and she's 32 years.

 I get told a lot that I don't look 40. I guess drinking a lot of water everyday helps lol.

 My wife enjoys my goofy pictures I send her every now and then. The secret to a lasting relationship is, just make her laugh.

 This was the day we picked Koda up. 💙

 Ev when she was a baby. Time goes by so fast!💙 My wife and daughter are the best thing to ever happen to me. I don't know where I'd be without them.

 Ev last month with Koda.

 Kylo is my wife's dog. She carries him with her everywhere she goes, sometimes in her purse lol. He's 4 lbs of calm joy. The most zen chihuahua I've met. We've had him since 2019. My wife rescued him from the shelter. He's an incredible dog💙

 Koda... I have no words to explain the amount of joy she brings into our lives as a family💙

 I've been working out a lot since the virus started. I turned the garage into my gym room. As a firefighter, I have to stay in shape, but I'm enjoying bulking up. My family sick leave is over, and I've returned back to work.

 Jennie

  When she was on oxygen.

 I love this woman more and more each year. I thank God for her. She's beautiful inside and out. After all these years, she's still the only one I see myself with forever. She is the sweetest and most loving person I've ever met. How did I get so lucky? 😅💙


 
Hope you all have a blessed day. I'll keep praying for you and everything going on in this world. Time goes by so fast. Enjoy each day as it comes, and hang in there. It will get better.💙
 The Spanish flu ended when it died off to the common flu we have today. Let's hope and pray the coronavirus mutates to something less severe too. 
-Lee 

 

 I thought I'd drop in, knowing it's been a while. I've been asked a few times when is the Road to Nowhere book 3 going to be released. The project has been at a standstill for some time. I'll get into some of the details expanding on why in a minute, but first, I know this year has been chaotic for most... I just want you to know, it's a passing event that we will all overcome with time. 

 I keep hearing about people committing suicide, and it grieves me and my family. We're praying for all of you. People have been effected by the virus in various ways; through losing employment, through financial hardships, through homelessness, and hunger, uncertainty, marital problems, abuse, through losing a loved one,  or fear of the future. Whatever you're going through, hang in there. This situation with the lock-downs, the virus, all of it--  it is temporary and it will pass.

 Life is full of highs and lows, and sometimes when you feel like you've reached the bottom, it's hard to see a way out. You have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps, and keep moving forward. It will get better. With all the negativity in the world right now, you have to focus on whatever positivity you can find. Tune out the noise, and don't let fear or depression consume your life. You will be okay. Giving up should never be the answer. 

 If anything, right now is a perfect time to go back to school, learn a new trait, focus on a new hobby, re-certify, or learn something you always wanted to learn but never had the time to do it.

As for myself, I've been busy. Last time I posted, I was doing a firefighter contract job in Antarctica at the McMurdo station. I was hired on as an airport firefighter shortly after coming back home. Our family tends to move a lot. My wife is supportive and she allows me to work where the job takes me. I'm in California, and we had just moved from the high desert to a rural farm community. I was offered a job as a city firefighter in Washington, and it looks like we'll be moving again when the academy starts next summer. I was born and raised in Washington, so for me, it won't be anything new. My brother lives out in Washington, as well as some of my family members. For my wife and daughter, it will probably be different, but they're excited. 

Book 3 has been delayed tremendously, and for that, I apologize. It's been put on the back burner,  since the person who has helped me with book 1 and 2 (my wife), has been hit with a storm of trials. It wouldn't feel right to release something without her final touches. Although she never wanted to be credited, she was a huge part of the process. In many ways, she was the co-author. Please keep her in your prayers. She didn't feel well, she was having episodes... which I won't get into. She was in and out of the hospital for weeks earlier this year, trying to find what it was. A series of doctors told her she was healthy after many different lab works and physicals. When her heart started to act up more, that's when they referred her to cardiology. They were able to provide us with the answers to what was going on. They placed her on several medications, which her body didn't respond well to. She was progressing some, but started to decline a bit, and now with the new medication they gave her last month, she's finally seeing progress. They put her on Ivabradine. I don't know what to say other than, this pill has saved her life, and we are hopeful that it will continue to work.

The other part of her struggle has been an entirely different situation. She was stalked when she was 13, and assaulted. Years passed, and last year, my 11 year old daughter had said while my wife and I were in the backyard, a man had came out of one of the downstairs rooms. He had broken in. She saw him while she was sitting on the couch, and he was coming from the hallway. She didn't react. She froze, and didn't scream. When she described him, my wife knew who it was. There are very distinct features about him, like his height being 6'4, demeanor, his hair, tattoos, facial features, physical attributes, and voice. It was the main reason why we moved out of our house, after having the uninvited intruder. We do believe he was drunk when he broke in, based on the fact that my wife had said he was an alcoholic, and how my daughter described his gait. He is someone who is significantly older than her, and who we believe is potentially dangerous. My wife's peace was stolen and her and my daughter were fearful to be home alone while I was at work. 

I know that it isn't difficult to find someone's information online. Your name is attached to addresses on your credit report, whenever you buy a home or take out a new car. Sites like mylife, make it easy for people to get your address. There's really nothing we can do about that. I won't get into too much detail, out of respect for my wife, but he eventually he left right through the front door. My daughter said he barely touched the door handle, and it seemed he hesitated to touch it in the first place. He told my daughter he'd be back later. 

My wife knew him to an extent, but like most predatory stalkers, any form of communication feeds into their delusions. When he was stalking her, she felt like she had to placate him because she was fearful that he'd hurt her. after his assault, she found ways to forget about him, and she did. When she enlisted in the military, she said it was like he never existed. Him breaking into our home was an assault on her peace, and brought back other memories that my daughter and wife had buried away. 

My daughter said she remembers meeting him before, when she was around 5 years old, and he claimed to be a friend of my wife. He had a conversation with her and gave her a doughnut. We moved, we put up cameras, and I got licensed to carry a firearm. I bought my wife a shotgun, but we just hope and pray that this nightmare is over. 

It seems as though a lot of people have been hit hard with health issues. I know of several people, some in my immediate family, others are acquaintances or friends of friends. Our family continue to pray for this nation and for everything going on, including the unrest.

I firmly believe that violence is not the way. It's okay to peacefully protest, but to burn down your own communities, to murder someone, or assault, to loot, to vandalize-- it's not right. This division and chaos isn't solving anything. More than ever, we need more love in our hearts. It's seems as though there's there's a blanket of darkness that has come over America. It doesn't matter what political party you identify as, we as human beings should be better than that, and we are capable of being better than that. You can't make the world we live in a better place by tearing down neighborhoods. 

We moved to a rural are that we fell in love with, especially my daughter, Ev. She enjoys sitting on the swinging porch bench, and watching the views. It's away from the city, and a lot more quiet. Everyone knows everyone, and everyone waves at each other when they drive. There's deer, rabbits, foxes, mountain lions, and squirrels. The house came with a cat. It usually stays near the front door of the property. The house had been vacant for several months before we moved in. The cat was emaciated, and we felt sorry for him so we took him in. My daughter named him Mr. Winston. He's doing well now. He put on a lot of weight, and seems to have more energy. 

We also have a new addition to our family, my wife rescued a chihuahua from the humane society before the lock downs began. We named him Kylo Runt. We just call him Kylo though. We keep him indoors, and he rarely sheds. He has a lot of personality, and we have no regrets adopting him.

 

It may be some time before book 3 comes out. Until then...

Hoping you all have a Happy Halloween.

Hello to all,

I made it to Antarctica. I'm currently working as a Fire Fighter II. I don't have much time, so I'll have to make this post short... since work is starting in half an hour. 

Below are some pictures I took. I'm missing my wife and daughter very much. I talk to them daily on the phone, sometimes through skype, but I look forward to going back home once my contract ends.



 
 I did a quick refresher course through the company that hired me, and was able to go back home for a few days before landing on the ice. My wife picked me up at the airport. Those pictures are in black and white.    Being away from my family really puts things into perspective. I feel blessed to have my wife. She's been very supportive through the whole process and patient. If anything, this has made us closer. I've never met anyone as kind and beautiful inside and out as her. I'm lucky to have married my best friend and the girl of my dreams ヅ Missing you Jennie.She always sends me cute pictures of her and our daughter. I can't wait to give my daughter a big hug... I feel like I'm missing out on certain things.... but I'll be home soon.

My wife and daughter are the best things to have ever happened to me.❤❤❤
                                                                            ***

The days I'm not working, I go the gym. I'll have to make another post sometime explaining my shift, the food, the equipment at the gym, the weather, living quarters, population at the different stations, and all that stuff. For now, hope each of you enjoy your time with family on Thanksgiving! Much to be grateful for; life, children, and the love received back from those closest to you. 
Take care and drive safely during the holidays. Speeding isn't worth the accident... or casualty...so if you're running a little late, breathe... relax... and shrug it off. Life's too short to stress over the minor things. If you've been drinking, just don't drive. This is all common sense, but people still do it. Just be safe guys.❤
I'm at the far back right hand side lol. There's always a way to keep busy down here ☺

Much Love,Have a good one! -Lee

Hello to all,I know many of you are waiting for book 3. I can’t wait to get it out, and hear your thoughts about it. However, there will be some slight delays with the release date. I accepted a contract position as a Firefighter II at the MCMurdo Fire Station in Antarctica. I’m leaving California on the 6th of this month. I’ll be out of the country until February.I was a Firefighter in the military 8 years ago, but I sort of took a break to spend time with my wife and daughter. My wife is really supportive about my decision to get back into Firefighting, and she’s incredibly understanding. There’s a number of certifications I had to get this year, such as my EMT, national registry, and so forth. My wife helped me study all the medical terminology and really helped me focus. Without her, I don’t know where I’d be.I’ll look forward to returning back home. It looks like I’ll have a Firefighting position lined up when I get back, so going to McMurdo has already helped me get my foot back in that career path. As for my family, I will miss them more than words can express. My wife is dropping me off at the Ontario Airport on Friday Morning. I’m flying to Salt Lake City with the other firefighters to do a yearly refresh on Airport Rescue Fire Fighting. After a day of training, I’m flying out to New Zealand to be issued my cold weather gear. The next day, if the weather holds out, I’ll be on the ice. My wife and I will be able to communicate through Skype and over the phone while I’m at the McMurdo station. I’ll try to post a few pictures once a month, updating my blog with what’s going on down there. Internet is limited, but we’ll see how it goes. In short, Firefighters are stationed at MCMurdo in support of the National Science Foundation's (NSF) U.S. Antarctic Program, where we provide fire/rescue services.  We also are on scene when flights come in to Antarctica. From what I understand, this is their busy season, when tourists, scientist, journalists, and so forth will be flying in the most. Have a good evening. Take care and be safe!-Lee

The last time I wrote, it was on Father's Day. Some time has passed, and I just thought I'd drop in and let you guys know that The Road to Nowhere book 3 is still in progress. My wife was very much involved with the writing in book 1 and less involved with book 2. I've mentioned before, or at least I think I did, that she didn't appear as a co-author because she didn't feel comfortable putting herself out there.  So anyway, I thought I'd explain how some of the writing process generally goes. We read the book several times and make changes back and forth; adding details, taking away, and creating new elements... sometimes adding new characters or changing a character's name and overall appearance to improve the book.
 I think we're both perfectionists in the sense that we don't want to rush it and put out something we're not happy with. Sometimes we'll re-read the same chapter for weeks, adding minor details that help bring the main character's surroundings to life for the reader. In the future, I don't think I'll put a deadline on when my book will be released, as we seem to always go over the date and it isn't fair to those who are waiting for it. I'm not sure if we'll meet our October 2017 deadline. For that I apologize in advance. Since it is the last novel in the main character's story line, we want to make sure it's more than worth the wait. Thank you for your patience!
We'll be working hard to get the book out, polished to the best of my ability, soon. Our schedules are about to become hectic. My wife will be continuing her online classes in a week, towards earning her degree, and I'm thinking about taking a Department of Defense job as a firefighter. If I do, it's not like the military where you can bring your wife and kids, so I'll be gone for a few months. We'll see.
On another note, hope you guys enjoy some of the pictures below. We went to Universal Studios in Hollywood, a few times. My daughter wanted to go to see the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It didn't disappoint. :)





My wife loves taking pictures of the family and uploading them onto the cloud. She probably won't create a blog because she's not into social media. She's more of a private person, but I thought I'd share a picture of her, the love of my life. :)


I also wanted to share The Road to Nowhere's Prologue and explain it further in detail. We wanted book 3 to almost be a stand-alone novel, where if you missed book 1 and 2, it's okay. We did a brief flashback of what happened in book 1, and as we introduce old characters in book 3, we're hoping we provide enough backstory and details so there's a general understanding of who the main character is talking about. All three book s have been written in the first person perspective, but book 3 is present tense. I have an earlier version of the prologue on this blog, but below is more of a recent draft, not the final. We will do one more read-through.
Enjoy.
Take care everyone. Have a good evening!

-Lee
 





“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
 I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”


-Robert Frost


 





Beginnings are strange things. Memories shift and change over time…






Looking back, I can make more sense of what had happened.







A dry coppery taste—  like old pennies—  fills my mouth.
I know that taste. It’s blood. 

What happened?

Trying to remember through what feels like a bad hangover doesn’t help. Nothing comes to me. 

I grunt as I try to open my eyes. All I feel is pain. It begins as a dull ache, spreading from the top of my shoulders down to the soles of my feet. The feeling throbs and flares with each heartbeat. 

Lying there, I will the muscles in my eyelids to open, but they refuse to budge. I can’t seem to open them, or do much more than move my fingertips.

An overwhelming weakness has my body practically paralyzed. Crippled by the pain and weakness, panic settles in, only stopping when one of my eyes manages to open. 

Blocking a large portion of my field of vision, I see white tape hanging loosely over my eyelid. It’s difficult to focus, or see past the thick strip. What little surroundings I can make out in the dark room, look unfamiliar.

Being able to see doesn’t do anything to ease my growing sense of panic.

I try breathing in through my nose, but the air feels difficult to pull in. Looking down, I see a clear plastic tube running into my nostrils. My lungs wheeze and ache as I let out a few dry coughs. Swallowing down the small amount of saliva and dried blood in my mouth doesn’t ease the arid feeling in my throat. It hurt more to swallow than what I’d expected. 

It took some time before I began to feel clearheaded, but I’m now able to make out the general details of the room. Several large banks of medical equipment sit to one side my bed. The bed itself is stiff underneath my body. It feels like I’m lying on a steel girder. To my right, I see a deflated IV bag. My eyes follow a thin line that runs from the bag to the back of my right hand, disappearing under a patch of medical tape.

Confusion aside, everything feels like a surreal dream.
What’s going on?

Silence only adds to the strangeness around me. No machines beep. There’s an absence of footsteps or even muffled voices coming from outside the small room.

Again, I rack my memory for answers— anything, helpful or not.
I’m in a hospital, but why? 

No memories surface to answer my question. My past is as empty as the hollow feeling gnawing at the pit of my stomach. 

I can’t remember any details before waking up, but I still know what things are— beds, blood, the fact that I am in a hospital room.

My thoughts wander before it dawns on me—
My name—
Minutes pass but nothing comes.

I helplessly struggle to remember who I am. Maybe someone else can tell me what’s going on.

The absence of sound means that I’m alone in the room. Why isn’t a doctor or nurse checking in on me? 

It hasn’t been more than ten or fifteen minutes since I woke up, but I should have heard something outside by now. Only the labored sound of my breathing lets me know my hearing is still working. 

Calling for help doesn’t get me anywhere. The noise I make is closer to a croak than what a human voice should sound like. It might carry across the silent room, but I doubt anyone in the hallway can hear me. The effort brings on a fit of more weak coughs. 

Despite the flaring pain in my lungs that the coughing causes, I try forcing myself to sit up. It’s no good. My head lifts a few inches before collapsing back down onto the bed.

Even if I’d been unconscious or in a coma, shouldn’t someone be monitoring my condition? What kind of place is this? 

Frustrated, I weakly lift a hand to pull the strip that had been dangling over my eye. It moves limply and it takes a few tries before I manage to tear it off. I stare at it. It looks like medical tape. 

Dropping it to the floor, I reach over and peel my other eye open. The tape comes free with a slight sting of pain. It’s a minor annoyance compared to how the rest of my body feels. 

Reaching across my body, I try removing the IV. My long nails pick at the tape, slowly peeling it off enough skin to remove the needle. A sharp sting of pain and trickle of blood causes me to flinch. I toss it weakly aside in irritation.

I take a deep breath. If no one was coming to get me, I’d have to get them. 

My hands reach over to the rails on one side of the bed. The cold metal is difficult to grip, but with effort, I manage to turn onto one side. 

Before I move more than a few inches, the tubes in my nose tug at me. Pulling them free, breathing begins to feel easier. From there, I work my way down to the edge of the bed fighting sharp spasms of pain.

The blanket that had been covering me spills over to the floor. Moving a little farther, my bare feet touch the cold tiles. 
Feeling weak and dizzy, it takes everything I have to move.
How long have I been in this bed?

I look at my arms, thin and pale. Were they always like this?

Trying desperately to stand, my legs collapse under the strain. I hit the floor hard. Gray wires connected to my skin strain before coming free. 

My hands grab weakly at the bed, but can’t hold onto anything. The floor’s impact is hard enough to knock the wind out of me.

Crawling, I inch my way towards the door. It hurt, it’s slow, but it’s the best I can do. This isn’t a hands and knees crawl, instead, I’m pulling myself along the floor.

I’m in too much pain to care about being angry. I just want answers. Moving forward is all I can do for now.


I stop once to catch my breath, before finally reaching the door. At first glance it seemed closed, but from my vantage point it was slightly ajar.

The door swings open as I push against it. 

I’ve made it out, but where is everyone?

My head turns left and right. I can’t see anyone on either end of the corridor, and only one of the overhead lights is still working. Florescent tubes flicker weakly.

Paper and debris is scattered along the ground. I can’t make out anything specific on the closet sheet of paper, but it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t be like this.

If I could run, I’d hurry to get to the ground floor, but I can’t. I’m still on the floor, and I haven’t moved. The thought of me being here makes my pulse raise.  

More disturbing are the dark splotches of what looks like blood trailing over the floor and across some of the walls. 

What the hell happened here? Mass murder? Terrorists?

My mind can’t even grasp at what would’ve caused what I was seeing.

The trembling in my arms worsen, but I don’t fall from a kneeling position. Half-dragging, half-crawling, I make my way along the ground. It’s hard to avoid some of the larger pools that still look wet. Trembling, my hand reaches towards the sticky red stain. I drag my finger lightly across its surface. 

The outer layer parts like the skin that forms over gravy. Bringing it close to my face, it smells foul and rotten. 

Hastily, I rub the finger against my hospital gown to try cleaning it off.  

I work my way to where someone had left an abandoned wheelchair. It’s only a few doors farther down. I can feel a sense of panic rising as I try to get closer.

Once I reach it, it takes me a few attempts before managing to pull myself onto its seat. It will have to do for now.

Settling in, I put my feet onto the metal footrests. A few hard pushes on the wheels are all it takes to start moving.
I pass a few doors. Each is closed. 

Despite the thought that I should stay quiet, I call out again for help. It only carries a few feet before being swallowed up by the surrounding silence.

A dozen yards farther down, I see where the hallway ends. There’s two exits. Ones an elevator and the other is a nearby stairwell. 

The elevator call button doesn’t light up, leaving the stairwell as my only option. The door to the stairwell is unlocked, but any emergency light beyond the door is out. 

The hallway’s flickering light reaches a few feet down the stairs. I can’t see anything else further in.

Pausing, I hear something down the hall. It sounded like something had fallen over. Maybe a window was left open, and the noise came from outside. I wasn’t about to turn back and find out what it was. If it was someone, they would’ve said something. I was too weak, and had come too far to hunt down the sound in a dark hospital.

I shrug it off and make my way forward to the edge of the stairs. There’s a flat landing at the top of the stairs where I pause to look down.

The door swings shut behind me, cutting what little light remains down to a thin sliver. 

Every noise I make echoes in the small space.

After nearly tumbling down an entire flight of stairs, I abandon the wheelchair. I lean against the handrail to help support my weight. Using the handrail, it becomes easier to walk with each step forward. 

I finally make it to the door at the end of the stairs. There’s a small wired-glass window on it. I can’t see anything beyond a plain white wall, six or seven feet in front of the doorway. 

The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. A chill runs down my arm as it reaches for the push-bar. 

The door makes a slight click as it opens.

Taking the exit door leads to a large open    room. Most of chairs had been scattered around, with only four or five still in neat rows. 

Like what I’d seen upstairs—there’s debris and more blood.

I glance over to the reception desk, confirming that no one is there. The place had to have been evacuated. Maybe they just forgot me. Any simple mistake could cause that sort of oversight, especially if they were in a hurry to get patients out.

Next to the waiting room is a set of large glass doors. They’re open a few feet, letting in occasional gusts of cold air. 

I manage a limping hobble towards them, eager to see what’s outside. Past the shadowed building’s interior, indirect light pierces my eyes. 

My eyes force themselves shut against the sudden glare. It takes a half dozen seconds before I can squeeze them open far enough to see.  

There isn’t much to look at, even with my hand shielding against the light.

Above me, an awning keeps rain from soaking my hospital gown. It looks as though the downpour has been going for a while. The gutters are filled with two or three inches of standing water. The sight makes me remember how thirsty I feel. Moving to where runoff is pouring down the awning, I tilt my head back, letting it trickle into my mouth. 

It’s cold, and I can only think about quenching my thirst. The only problem is telling that to my stomach. It feels sour after a few swallows, making me almost throw up.  

Ignoring the nausea, I take a good look around. To my disappointment, there’s no sign of anyone nearby. Was the entire city evacuated? 

Cars were left parked along the sidewalk, but they’re as empty as the street.

It’s a full minute before I notice the two figures sprawled out on the far side of the road. Neither moved, even though they laid in a few inches of standing water.

I shuffle towards them, trying to get a better look. Water splashes over my feet, and rain starts soaking into my gown. 

I halt about five feet away from the nearest figure. Staring hard, I can’t see anything moving, not even the rise and fall of breath. Edging around the closest one, I get a good look at its face. He’s male, I can tell that much, and he’s dead.

His suit and coat is shredded in several places, exposing viciously torn skin. What little remained was a putrid white color. Water bloating made it difficult to make out specific details. It hadn’t done much to wash clean the bloodstained white undershirt. Jagged tears went through the layers of cloth and tore deeply into the skin beneath.

My eyes trail back up to his head. It’s pulled unnaturally far back, almost to the point where it rested against his shoulder blades. His throat was a ragged mess of torn meat. In the gaping hole, I can make out the white bone of what could be his spine. An empty socket is all that remained of one eye, while both ears had been torn off. Only ragged meat and congealed blood remained. 

The smell would have been overpowering if it wasn’t raining. As it was, the sight alone was making me retreat from the corpse.

Gagging, I start to dry heave. I’m down on my knees in the pooling water before the roiling in my stomach finally subsides.

Wiping rain from my face, I see a waterlogged newpapper. It is soaked from the rain, making it nearly illegible. The few pieces not stuck to the ground can be seen clearly.
Las Vegas Bulletin
Violent Outbreaks Sweep Across the Nation
Vegas? I can remember what Vegas is supposed to look like, but there aren’t any casinos or hotels that I see. 

I try picking up the newspaper, but it falls apart in my hands.
I glance one more time at the bodies before going back to the meager protection of the hospital’s awning. 

If this is Las Vegas, where are all the people?














VEGAS
-Two Years Later-
A drizzle of heavy rain falls across the windshield.
Driving has become even more monotonous than before all of this started. There are no cars driving in the opposite lane. Only the occasional car left abandoned on the road gives me any kind of change. The sound of rain hitting the car’s surface adds to the dull thrum of its engine. Feeling cold, I kick on the car’s heater.

The road ahead of me begins darkening under the increasingly steady downpour of water. The farther I drive down the interstate, the more it becomes difficult it to see ahead. I ease my foot off the gas, eying the speedometer’s needle as it drops farther and farther down.

The car’s worn windshield wipers stutter fitfully against the window before each swipe. The motion smears almost as much water as it wipes away.  I should have changed out the blades, but it wasn’t something that I’d thought about.
When I’d first left Barstow, the sky was clear. Weather conditions had sporadically grown worse in the two days since. A few scattered clouds turned the clear horizon steadily darker until the distance became covered by thick storm fronts.
Storms like these are unpredictable. It might quickly pass through, or it could hang in the sky above me for days.
I hoped to make it to Vegas and back without the complication of bad weather. If it didn’t clear up, I’d have very little, if any, time during the day to search. 

My attempt at planning the route beforehand was based on a map I’d found. What it couldn’t have taken into account were the sections of freeway blocked by abandoned cars.

Neither of my previous traveling companions had been familiar with the route I planned on taking. Tara had come from the opposite direction, and Simon had driven East, from somewhere near Los Angeles. 

With nothing else to go on, my only choice was to go blindly, hoping for the best.

After I’d first woken up at the hospital in Las Vegas, I drove from there to California. My route was hundreds of miles farther north. Backtracking the same way would have added days, if not weeks on the road.

The way I took was littered with abandoned cars, but there was enough room, so far, for me to weave the compact Toyota Yaris through the lanes. 

The closer I came to reaching Las Vegas, the more difficult it was to squeeze around the congestion.  
Another few miles, the curtain of rain recedes, leaving only gray skies and wet roads. 

After I pass Calico Road, which detoured to parallel the interstate, the windows start fogging over. Cranking up the heater all the way and setting it to defrost doesn’t do much. 

Leaning forward, I rub my jacket sleeve against the glass. With the windows fogged over, and distracted, I nearly crash into a black sedan blocking the freeway ahead of me. 

As slow as I was driving, my wheels continued to slide five or ten feet along the wet pavement, before bringing me to a halt. A little farther and I would have broadsided the car ahead of me.

My hands shake slightly as they let go of the wheel. It wasn’t like me to make mistakes like this. I wouldn’t have survived so long being this reckless.

I sit back in the car’s seat before rolling the window down and looking outside.

Past the sedan, more vehicles block the road, their doors left ajar. I notice that a few trunks are left partly open as well, with their contents lying scattered on the surface of the ground. I can make out the remains of suitcases and soiled clothing, but not much else. 

Weather had taken a heavy toll on the unprotected items. Any dust that had still clung to the vehicles, was now a thin layer of mud.

It’s obvious that there’s no way through, but a sense of almost morbid curiosity draws me nearer.