Sara Horn's Blog

July 31, 2017

How to Know Whether You’re Teaching or Just Talking

Teaching a small group of women can bring about some tremendous good. We can make connections that help someone feel like she belongs. Those same connections can also have eternal potential when that person begins a relationship with Jesus.

But one of the biggest mistakes I see is when the leader is the only one talking.

Nothing frustrates me more than to see a group of eager faces slowly turn into expressionless ones. They may be nodding, but there’s a good chance they’re not listening. They’ve tuned out because you’re not teaching, you’re talking.

So is there really a difference between teaching and talking?

You bet your listening guide there is.

The difference between teaching and talking

An ancient Greek philosopher once said that a teacher can’t teach anyone anything, she can only make them think. This is what we want to do when we’re leading our small groups.

A leader removes the two-way communication between herself and the rest of her group when she’s the only one talking. You don’t know whether anything you’re saying is getting through or making a difference to your listeners.

Sometimes this approach is intentional. If you’ve got a Chatty Kathy (or five) in your circle, allowing conversation may feel risky. But I think this choice does more harm than good, which we’ll discuss later.

When a leader is teaching, she talks, but she also listens. She facilitates. She looks for every connection opportunity she finds and uses it. A great leader watches for signs that her group is connecting with her and each other. She notices whether the material makes sense. After all, her ultimate goal is to see women leave wanting to learn more.

I’m a big believer that teaching doesn’t just happen with the one holding the lesson outline. Every member of your small group has something they can contribute to help grow in God’s Word together.

But it only happens when you as a leader are ready to teach, and not just talk. So let’s talk about what that looks like.

5 Signs You’re Talking and Not Teaching
1. You consistently let your group out late.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves of a speaker or a small group leader. But before anyone sends me an email, let me say that I don’t hold the Holy Spirit to a stopwatch. When ministry happens, we don’t stop just because the clock says we should.

HOWEVER – realistically speaking, that’s not going to occur every week. The more likely scenario of a group that habitually runs over time is because of a teacher who hasn’t planned.

2. The conversation has no flow.

I like to think of small group time as a conversation where people share and people grow. The leader introduces the topic and shares some important points. From there, she creates opportunities for discussion where women naturally engage.

Our natural tendency is to avoid silence when we’re in groups. This is why so many leaders will fall into talking more than teaching. What happens if you ask a question and no one answers? Most leaders don’t want to go there.

But what happens if you ask a question and you give no one time to respond?

The flow stops before it can start. Your group doesn’t get a chance to think about what you’ve asked, much less answer. Eventually, people just stop thinking and wait for you to move on to your next thought.

Try this: If you’re a leader who feels uncomfortable with silence, let me encourage you to practice embracing it. A silence that stretches out is awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. But if you allow a few seconds, someone will speak up. And if no one speaks, then repeat your question or rephrase it, and allow a little more time for silence.

Give women a chance to think, and then to speak.

3. You always have the last word.

This happens for a few reasons. A leader hasn’t dealt with her own insecurities in a positive way. She feels pressure from the title she’s wearing. She thinks she needs to always be the one who has the final statement on a point.

But it’s ok to let someone else share a beautiful thought on whatever you’re talking about without you feeling the need to add 5 more minutes of your own thoughts after she speaks. This is especially true when what she said totally summed up the point you wanted to make in the first place.

So thank her for her contribution and move on. Your ladies are still learning regardless of who has the final word. Even better, they’re also learning each of them has things to say that can encourage others. Just think of it as leaders-in-training opportunities.

4. You don’t ask questions.

This one is a sure sign you’re talking more than teaching. If you’re the only one talking, it’s going to be very hard to gauge how well your group understands what you’re saying.

But what if asking a question is like inviting your kids to go in and take out every toy in their toy box – and you already know how messy that will be to clean up and to close?

So let me ask another question – would you rather have a group that looks like people live there or a group where it looks like people don’t? People are blessed when you risk a little mess. Or does the importance of order take priority over the chance of a little chaos?

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People are blessed when you risk a little mess.

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Never asking questions limits the feedback you need as a teacher and the engagement of your ladies.

We can talk about different types of questions you can ask and how to handle Chatty Kathy’s in another post but if you’re not asking questions in your group, please start! Use them in your group time if it’s not too large. Or take time for breakouts and hand out questions for 3 to 4 women to answer among themselves.

Questions help us think. The opportunity to respond helps us stay engaged in what we’re learning.

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5. You ask a question, and no one answers.

We’ve touched a little bit on this already but one of the most common reasons leaders or teachers will give for not asking questions is because “no one answers when I do.”

Well, that’s kind of like saying I’m going to stop offering vegetables to my child because she won’t eat them anyway.

I know those veggies are good for my kid. I also know questions and engaging conversation is good for the ladies in my small group. So if I don’t try, neither one is going to happen. But if I keep trying, chances are good that I will see some great results.

One way to avoid the Deep Silence of No Answers is to make sure your group knows up front that you’re going to ask questions, and you expect answers. I’ve seen a much higher participation level when I’ve set this expectation in small groups I’ve led compared to when I haven’t.

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Sometimes women need permission for speaking freely, at least the polite ones. So tell your ladies ahead of time that you don’t just want their input, you need it. And don’t start with the deep theologically-probing ones. Icebreakers or light-hearted questions aren’t just great for making women feel more comfortable with each other – they’re also great for warming ladies up to engage in discussion.

Remember: Pay attention to the flow and watch your small group grow.

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5 Signs You’re Teaching and Not Just Talking
1. In your prep time, you spend the same amount of time planning your questions as you do planning your points and illustrations.

When you use questions in your small group, you help people go deeper, listen longer and retain more because their brains actively engage in what’s happening.

Some quick tips on what kinds of questions you can use:

Questions that offer variety. Make sure your questions offer a range of levels. You want both your theological scholar types as well as your fairly new (or non) believers to feel like they can participate.

Questions that invite personal thoughts on scripture. Some leaders worry that asking this type of question might incorrectly stress personal opinion over the importance of biblical understanding. But asking this type of question encourages active thinking and practice for discovering what God’s Word tells us. By all means, teach your ladies how to understand context and word study. Just don’t discourage them from taking the first steps to think and share out loud what a verse means when they read it.

Questions that ask for personal application and experience. One of my favorite moments when I’m speaking somewhere is the sharing time at the end of the event. When a woman shares her story, she isn’t just sharing for herself. She’s allowing others to realize they’re not alone.

Something special happens when we realize we’re not alone with our problems and challenges. Our hearts soften, our ears open, and we are much more ready to receive whatever God wants us to have. So ask questions like “Have you ever experienced a time when…” or “Have you ever felt the way [this Biblical character] must have felt?”

Sometimes God uses the stories of others so a woman will pay closer attention to His story.

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2. You use personal examples of when things went wrong, not just the examples of when everything went right.

People will always respond more quickly to the real you than to the polished you. We learn from our mistakes. We don’t always learn when everything is going right. So don’t be afraid to share about the times when things didn’t go so well, but don’t share just for the sake of sharing. Make sure your personal examples illustrate the scripture or biblical truth you’re teaching.

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3. You welcome other women’s input instead of feeling threatened.

I once asked a pastor friend who was also a college professor to share a tip with me about speaking. He said, “you’ll know you’re a speaker when you’re less worried about what a group thinks about your speaking and more concerned for what they learn.”

That’s great advice and as leaders, we should be less concerned about what we’ll bring to our groups than what they’ll leave with. That’s the sign of a great teacher.

So it’s completely ok if another woman says what you were going to say. You know why? Because that means you’ve engaged her in the discussion and she’s paying attention. That’s a WIN!

4. You start and end on time.

A great teacher understands that less is more when it comes to her small group. Did you know it’s a lot harder to speak a message in 5 minutes than in 30? That’s because it requires a whole lot more time on the front end deciding what the most important points are to share.

When you start on time and end on time, you’re communicating a couple of things to your group: 1) You respect their time. We’re all busy and the ladies who have come to your group are making time to be there when they could be doing 20 other things. 2) You’re willing to prepare before you meet. Too much content for a designated amount of time is a classic sign of a leader who hasn’t done her homework.

Sometimes it’s not about the amount of content but how engaged your group is with the material you’re teaching. This can definitely happen – and a great teacher recognizes that her group can learn just as much from the discussion as they might from that final point she didn’t get to share. Let it go or save it for next week. Trust that God’s orchestrated your time together in the first place.

5. You see consistent growth in your ladies from week to week.

One of my favorite things to see is when women can recall things from a previous lesson to make a point about a current one. This is a great sign that they’re learning, they’re paying attention, and they’re engaging in your time together. And isn’t that the ultimate goal?

So that’s my list and my top 5 signs of what a talker looks like and what a teacher looks like. What would you add? What would you agree or disagree with? Share with me in the comments!

Want to grow as a leader? Wish you had someone who could walk alongside you and give you pointers and insights in your women’s ministry, Bible study, or small group? Sign up for a free discovery session with me!

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Published on July 31, 2017 02:30

March 13, 2017

5 Reasons Women Quit Small Groups Too Soon

If you’ve ever led a Bible study or a small group in your church or in your home, you probably know what I’m talking about. And if you’ve ever participated in a Bible study or a small group someone else has led, there’s a good chance you’ve done this, or you know of others who have.

Have you experienced this? Women who start your group with gusto but end up leaving (aka disappearing) before the study or semester officially ends?

It’s a real thing. And it’s not just the leader who feels it. The other women attending feel it too, when they look around and realize they’re one of six still coming, and they’re thinking to themselves… where did everyone else go? And why didn’t they tell ME so I could go with them?

Let’s call this frustrating but so very common phenomenon Small Group Shrink. Retailers use the word shrinkage for inventory that gets lost, usually from theft by employees or customers. If you work in the retail loss prevention field, a large part of your job is to keep shrinkage as small a number as possible.

So as a Bible study or small group leader, how do you stop Small Group Shrink from impacting your group?

After all, inviting women to sign up for a new Bible study or a new semester of a small group is usually pretty easy. There’s something exciting about starting something new. Women like connecting with other women.

Keeping that connection going, and women coming, however, is much, much harder.

It’s too easy to blame busy schedules as the only reason women stop coming to your group. Let’s face it – as women, we make time for what’s important to us. We make time for what we enjoy. We make time for what we’re convinced we can’t do without.

So it’s not really as much about being busy as it is about being motivated.

5 Reasons Women Quit Small Groups Too Soon

Until we understand the reasons for why women quit small groups, we can’t take the necessary actions to encourage and motivate them to stay. Here are five.

1. They don’t connect.

I believe one of the biggest responsibilities we have as leaders in women’s ministry is to make sure we’re providing opportunities for women to connect and get to know other women.

Now if you read what I just wrote, you might say that no, women’s ministry isn’t about connecting women to other women, it’s about connecting women to God. And you’d be right.

But I’m also not wrong.

Women are wired for connection with others. So if we want women to know God, then let’s give them opportunities to know each other too.

I LOVE teaching God’s Word to other women and I love seeing women grow from what they’ve learned in studying the Bible and seeing their walks with God deepen as a result. But those moments rarely happen unless a woman feels comfortable just being in a group in the first place.

Are you giving the women in your group enough time to come and settle in with each other before you take them for a deep dive into theology and doctrine? Are you providing opportunities for your ladies to get to know each other as friends through simple ice breakers, casual refreshments or other activities before you ask them to share their most intimate thoughts about their faith?

Establishing true connections for your small group members can’t be forced, but it can be greatly helped. Keep the connection going and you’ll be far less likely to see any disconnects.

2. They don’t feel noticed.

This one is a personal mission of mine, probably because I’ve been in this situation far too many times myself, as I write about here.

Women’s ministry can be such a mixed bag of personality, background, and first impressions, can’t it? And we women, especially, are notorious for sizing others up too quickly or being so concerned about what others are thinking about us that we can completely overlook another woman’s need for a welcoming smile or a warm greeting, just so she knows that she is seen.

I believe one of the quickest and easiest lies the enemy starts to whisper to a woman involved in a Bible study is that no one will miss her if she doesn’t go. No one will notice. No one will say anything. So what’s the point of even trying?

This is why I think it’s so important to make the effort and ensure every woman feels like she’s been seen and heard each time your group meets. Of course, this doesn’t mean putting each woman on the spot in front of a group, especially if your group is large in number. That can have the same effect as not noticing someone, and send an introvert back to the safety of the four walls of her home faster than you can say “What’s your name?”

But helping a woman feel noticed can be as simple as making sure a volunteer is stationed at a table to help find her nametag and greet her by name and asking a quick question on how her day or week has gone.

Not all women feel comfortable speaking or sharing when a group gets larger than 10, so you can also help a woman feel noticed by including some time each week for breakout groups. Divide your ladies into smaller groups of 3 or 4 to answer questions or share thoughts on a scripture or topic that’s part of the bigger discussion.

3. They get bored.

You may think your messages or lessons are extremely exciting and interesting but if you’re the only one who talks, and you offer no opportunities for your group to discuss what they’re learning, you may find yourself the only one in the circle.

It’s a fine balance when it comes to planning how you’re going to engage your group so you have their attention, but it’s not impossible. Get to know your group and you’ll learn more quickly what kind of range your group has when it comes to church experience, Bible knowledge, and even attention spans. Talk over their heads and you’ll lose them. Talk beneath them, and you’ll still lose them. Offer them solid points that engage them and feel relevant to them, truths that challenge them and make them want to grow, and you’ll keep them.

4. They feel left out.

This fourth reason is particularly true for groups that have had some time to become established. You’ve been leading your group for awhile and you have a great core group of ladies who come. Some of them, if not all of them, are also your good friends. You’ve been on retreats or trips together, you have a ton of funny stories and memories you enjoy reliving, and more than a few inside jokes.

So where does that leave your new ladies?

If you want to keep your small group strong in attendance and in growth, then take care that your core doesn’t turn into a clique.

One of the best ways to avoid this is to remind your core members on a frequent basis how important it is that all of you reach out to those women who may be new, or might not know everyone as well.

Notice certain groups of ladies who always sit together? Then change that tendency for the comfortable and have a table or chair “toss.” Ask everyone to sit with people they haven’t sat next to before (or assign seats for even better mixing and mingling results).

Feeling left out doesn’t only come from feeling like you’re not inside a certain circle of friends. It can also come from not feeling like you fit with the same background, or experience or knowledge as others around you.

So be careful that you don’t assume and say “I know everyone already knows the story of David so we won’t say much about it.” There’s always a chance someone in your group doesn’t – but you’ll never know that if you tell them you assume they should, and you’ll miss an important teaching opportunity and moment of deeper understanding.

Don’t assume everyone has grown up in church or is the same denomination as you, either. I remember sitting in a church service once where the speaker said, “Now I know we’re all good Southern Baptists who have been going to church for a long time…”

I could think of at least 5 families sitting in the congregation right then who I knew were either fairly new Christians and new to church completely, or they had grown up in a completely different faith or denomination. Those words, as much as they were probably intended to be inclusive, instead came across as extremely exclusive. We’d be wise to avoid them in our groups too.

5. They forget the purpose.

Finally, I think one of the biggest reasons women give up on a small group or a small group study before it’s through is that the leader stops communicating why everyone is there in the first place.

We are forgetful human beings with too many distractions and too many pressures and responsibilities pulling on us. It’s easy to forget why we signed up for a certain group. That’s why, as a leader, it’s so important for you to remind your group of why you’re meeting and what you’re there to do and what you want them to get out of your time together.

Call it vision, mission, or take-away, but you need one to help you teach well and your group needs one to help them engage well. So use one. Keep your value statement simple and easy to remember so it’s simple to repeat and actually worth repeating.

Also, while we’re on the subject of purpose, part of establishing the purpose of a group is also including the time-frame and parameters of how long your group will meet.

As I wrote at the beginning of this post, women are super busy people. Give them clear expectations of how long your group will last (6 weeks? 3 months?) and offer encouragement as you get closer to the finish line. Remind them of the value they’ve already received from the early weeks and what’s ahead for them in the time that remains.

There’s nothing that makes me sadder to hear about a group that started strong but ended in a struggle. The reasons above are just a few of my thoughts on why it can happen.

Do you agree? Have you seen similar situations in your own groups? What else would you add?

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Published on March 13, 2017 03:00

August 18, 2016

2016 Louisiana Flood: Glimpses of the Good

For those of you not living in Southeast Louisiana, this past weekend was probably very different than ours. You probably watched a little of the Olympics, got ready for a new school year, or enjoyed one last summer trip or cookout.

Things didn’t happen that way here.

Last Thursday night, a week ago as I’m writing this, the rain started. This is not unusual for summer in our area. But by Friday morning, the rain had started filling ditches that normally don’t fill, and covering roadways that normally don’t cover. I was on my way to a doctor’s appointment in Baton Rouge when we got the call that schools, our second full day of the new year, were closing and parents needed to come back and get their kids. Buses were already en route trying to deliver kids back home they’d just picked up.

The water came fast and no one was prepared for what was happening. A couple of buses got stuck in several feet of water because they could no longer see the road. Teachers got stuck at their respective schools because after helping their students leave, they found out the roads to their own homes were no longer passable. State offices closed and my husband had already turned around and returned to the house since major interstates were closing due to flooding.

This was rain. This wasn’t a tropical depression, or a hurricane. This was RAIN. And no one had any idea it would be this bad.

Normally when we see a flash flood alert, we’re not concerned. It usually just means it will rain, we may see some puddles, people should stay alert who live near rivers and waterways, and the next day everything usually drys out. This isn’t what happened last weekend.

The flash flood warnings were going off through our phones every hour or so and by Friday night we knew of people who now had water in their homes and we were watching the water steadily rise on our patio and wondering if it would come into our home. Friends of ours who live one street over were already dealing with water in their house. But by the time we went to bed, the rain seemed to have stopped and water was receding.

We woke up on Saturday morning thinking it would probably be a low-key easy day at home. It had rained again during the night, hard, and I checked my office. A little water had come in but nothing bad. I mopped it up with towels and breathed a sigh of relief. But as I started scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I was seeing family after family we knew who were no longer at their houses because they were flooded. This was bad.

I texted our pastor and asked if the church would be doing anything and he told me they were figuring out what was going on and to meet at the church. Cliff and I, not having any idea of what the needs might be at the moment, grabbed a toaster, some frozen waffles and syrup, some bottled water and headed to our church which is just 3 minutes from where we live.

Our small group of church members who had assembled quickly started figuring out that there were houses underwater. Whole subdivisions had flooded. Cars were covered. People were on roofs. In attics. People needing rescuing.

This isn’t New Orleans. We’re in a suburb north of Baton Rouge. We’re not below sea level. We’re 102 feet above if you really want to know. Not every neighborhood is in a flood zone. Our house borders a flood zone and so we do have flood insurance. But many neighborhoods aren’t. This past week though… a whole lot of us were.

For the last 5 days, since Saturday morning, Louisianians have been doing everything we can to help those who needed help. If your house was spared, you know 10 others whose houses weren’t. At least 40,000 homes have been flooded out. 10,000 people have been in shelters. The needs are great. But the media was virtually silent the first 4 days of what is now being called the worst natural disaster since Hurricane Sandy.

I’m sharing below some posts I wrote on Facebook over the course of the last week since all of this started. Word is just trickling out through media now. People are on their way to help. All of the volunteers who have been helping up to this point are tired, so it will be a huge encouragement to have fresh bodies into help because the work is hard and the needs are great.

Below are just some of the stories and snapshots of what has happened in chronological order.

Saturday, August 13

My heart is overwhelmed at the outpouring of our community. With everything our state has been dealing with…. today people came together. And it is truly beautiful. We’ve loved on people. Fed people. Clothed people. Treated people. Made beds for people. Encouraged people. Please keep praying. There are a lot of people who have lost their homes. Recovery will take some time.

We came together early this morning with no idea what the day would bring.

We started setting up not sure who would come or what would be needed.

More volunteers started coming.

Cots started getting set out.

Before we knew it, we were setting up to be an overnight shelter. We helped a man find shoes his size. He was barefoot. He lost his climbing out of the window of his car as he was trying not to drown.

And the donations kept coming. We had an entire room full of bedding and towels, a room and the upstairs full of clothes we were sorting and offering to evacuees. We have had volunteers here today whose own homes are flooded – but they wanted to help other people.

We had volunteers from everywhere coming and helping with whatever was needed. We’ve been able to do people’s laundry thanks to volunteers who took people’s loads home and brought them back clean and dry.

We have a room for the kids with more toys and books than they will ever be able to read or play with.

We had teenagers playing with kids and giving their parents a chance to rest and catch their breath from a really hard day. We’ve seen tears but we’ve seen laughter and smiles too.

Volunteers from everywhere came together for some instructions.

The Red Cross officially came and set up at FBCZ.

Roughly 117 people are here tonight as well as several pets we’ve made accommodations for.

We’ve tried making them as comfortable as possible.

We’re praying for a good rest and a better day tomorrow. We have 80 volunteers already lined up for shifts over the next 3 days. Other churches are helping provide meals. The people here getting help are overwhelmed by the good they’ve seen by others today. So am I. ❤️

Sunday, August 14

Today it got a little more real for folks. Red Cross met with our guests and gave them some information on what they needed to know and what they need to start thinking about.

Making things more complicated was the fact that cell service was completely out. We put a system in place using a Google sheet doc and our guests could turn in messages for loved ones that got relayed to our front office volunteers who would call from landlines and pass on the info. People calling our church to reach a loved one could also get a message passed to one of our guests. I’m happy to say it worked really well.

Our volunteers loved on babies. We gave hugs to people in tears. We got hugs and big smiles from guests who were able to leave today, and they thanked us for all we did for them.

We found a man a hair trimmer because the razors irritated his face. We found a woman better fitting bras. We continued taking dirty laundry and delivering clean clothes back.

We helped a family retrieve their little 7lb dog named Molly. They made it to our shelter after spending two days in their water filled trailer waiting to be rescued. When they saw we had other dogs on site, they tentatively asked if there was any way we could give them a ride back to get their dog. They both became teary-eyed when we told them we could do it. Cliff drove them out so they could get her and then we were able to find a dog carrier she could stay in and still be close to them.

We made it work for an English Bulldog named Sally whose owners were very worried about her being outside with the other dogs (Bulldogs have trouble breathing and heat makes it dangerous for them). We found them a private room with an easy access exit outside. As soon as we laid down some comfy towels in her crate, sweet Sally promptly walked in and laid down, as if to say, thank goodness, I can finally rest.

We’ve had a medical station staffed around the clock which has been a gift. Doctors and nurses have been on site in 4 hr shifts, treating minor things and big things.

Tomorrow we have 4 volunteers coming to do 30 min one on one sessions with our guests to listen to their individual situations and help them get organized and figure out next steps. We’ve seen people do amazing things for other people.

Even today, when we were looking for a special reclining cot for a feeble, frail 94 yr old man, one of our other guests, a mom with a baby who is homeless and living with her sister whose house flooded this week… she gave up her cot for another so the elderly man could be able to recline. And tonight before we left? 10 pizzas were delivered… just to say “we care.” The support has been amazing.

This? An entire floor of clothing donations.

Earlier today a theatre group from Zachary High came and entertained our guests with skits and songs. They did a great job lightening people’s spirits. Tonight Tim Gaines came and did magic for the kids. I saw one teenager who has been here since Friday smile and laugh for the first time since she’s been here. Laughter is healing. So is caring for other people. So grateful for a church and a community who have both truly shown a spirit of caring when it has counted the most.

Monday, August 15

So for my update tonight I only have one picture I took today. My sweet friend Karim came by – she and her husband Jonathan and family have been washing clothes and dirty towels for our guests at their house and bringing them back and this morning she checked out one of the babies. Then she asked what she could do for me and a birthday cake was at our house this afternoon for us to celebrate Cliff’s birthday. ❤️

Today we had volunteers come, listen to their situations and help map out a game plan, even help people preregister online for disaster relief services.

We had 9-12 huge bags of dirty bedding we needed washed and volunteers all came and picked it up.

We had the public health inspector come to check out our shelter. She praised our Cindy for running such a “tight ship” with our church kitchen and as we answered her questions and told her what all we had for the people staying with us, we gave her chills 3 times. She couldn’t believe all that we’d been able to set up and offer. I told her the community support has been incredible.

Today we had to deal with some rocky situations – people wanting to drop off donations and not understanding why we couldn’t take them – it certainly wasn’t because we didn’t appreciate it – we just don’t have any more room and at this point it’s specific needs only.

This afternoon we provided transportation for 5 of our guests with the most medical needs to a special shelter downtown staffed completely by doctors and nurses. I sat with one of our sweet elderly men who has a touch of dementia who told me he felt like we didn’t want him anymore and explained to him that wasn’t the case at all but we loved him so much we needed him where he would be the most taken care of. I prayed with him and after they left, I cried.

Tonight was the hardest part. Tonight we had to tell our remaining guests that we are transitioning to recovery phase and that means our shelter will be closing on Wednesday at noon. We told them we would do everything we could to help them find their next step. There were tears, some from them and some from me and Tracy, our Red Cross representative who has been with us since Saturday afternoon.

I think they all know we have tried to serve them well through a very hard time. We’ve had people like Jamie Byrd and Spenser Dykes coordinating from 6am till midnight for days…. volunteers offering security and a presence in the middle of the night while people slept, people sorting clothes, washing/drying clothes, buying specific needed items and bringing them by.

One of our awesome volunteers came to me this morning with a bag and whispered “these were the last 2 bras in WalMart.” I wish I could have taken a picture so she could see the smile of the guest I gave them too, when she saw they were exactly her size.

As I told them tonight, my prayer is that when they think about these hard, hard days that they will also have some good things to remember from the time they were with us.

We have two more days with our guests and I want to finish serving them as well as we did when we started. But this journey isn’t over. 10,000 people are currently in shelters right now in Louisiana. The work ahead is hard. But if we will all continue to pull together as we have these last few days, the work will get done. Let’s keep serving each other well. With love. With God’s love. Because His love never fails. His love never ends.

Tuesday, August 16

Only one picture to post that I took today, day 4 since the flooding started. This is one of our sweet guests. She’s a school teacher and she was with her husband and her mom in their trailer when the flooding started and it took two days for them to be rescued. They were brought to our church. We’ve helped them in every way we could, and today she helped us by bringing some of our kids staying with us together so they had some focused activities while their parents worked on next steps. Tonight we were so excited to hug all three of them goodbye – family from Mississippi came to bring them back to their house and give them some time to reset, rest and refocus.

Today our team worked hard to help our remaining families find places to go before our shelter closes tomorrow at noon, and we also started receiving a lot of walk-ins looking for supplies for themselves or for others.

I’ll be honest and say at times it started feeling very overwhelming…the needs are so great, and our volunteers are getting tired. We heard “they’ve lost everything” and “we’ve lost everything” too many times to count and it’s heartbreaking. The needs are great. The needs will continue for quite awhile.

I was touched by so many who came who were so thankful for whatever they could get, but I felt some frustration today as we saw a few familiar faces coming back for more of what they’d already been given. In times like these, “take what you need” does not mean the same thing as “take what you want” especially when everyone needs similar things. But I’m thankful we’ve seen less of that and more of people sharing and working together.

Each time we were able to find a family a better next place that wasn’t a shelter, I felt joy. And gratitude. There are many, many people who have done special things for our guests. People who bought several outfits just the right size for someone, someone who donated their CAR to a family, others who offered special financial help to a few guests who needed various help.

We’re all tired but we’re finishing well by doing everything we can to show love to people. Several told us how grateful they are for us and how they want to come and give back later. Several have said they will see us at church. I hope we do.

The work still isn’t over. But as we hug goodbye to one family after another, we know that little by little, we will all get there. Together.

Wednesday, August 17

Today we said goodbye to our last guests. Some were able to get home, some were able to go with family. But one single mom and her baby were going to have to go to a shelter and it was going to have to be the River Center.

Right or wrong, I didn’t want any of our guests to go there. As we’d looked into options yesterday, we’d heard that looked like the only shelter still taking people and there were already a couple thousand there with more possibly on the way.

And I’ll be honest. We spoiled our people. The Red Cross gives out a cot and a blanket. Thanks to our community pouring in with all that they did with bedding and clothing and toiletries, we were able to give them cots cushioned with sleeping bags, covered by sheets and extra warm blankets and pillows. They had toiletries and snacks and coffee and water and soft drinks. We tried meeting their individual special needs as much as possible. We had church volunteers who were licensed counselors, retired social workers, going around one on one just checking on folks. In many of our minds, sending someone to the River Center felt like we might be sending them to the Superdome during Katrina. Completely on their own to take their chances.

I told her to take her time getting ready this morning and I’d watch her baby so she could shower and have a little time to herself. He needed changing and almost as soon as we got him changed into a fresh diaper and a clean onesie, he fell asleep in my arms. I prayed over that baby and for his mama, for their safety, for their lives, for their future. My sweet friend Tess asked if she could take a pic and I said sure. Though I won’t need the pic to remember that sweet baby’s face.

After we got her all packed up, someone took the mom to retrieve her car which thankfully started, but she’d forgotten a bag of bedding we’d sent along with her, so she came back. As we carried out the bag for her, we realized she didn’t have a base for the car seat and as we tried to at least turn the carrier rear facing and buckle him in, we realized he was in an infant carrier… and he was definitely outgrowing it.

We told her we’d look for a car seat for her and get it to her and she then followed Cliff to a gas station so we could fill her up and then he took her to McDonalds to get her a little lunch for the road.

In the meantime though, we had put out the word and within minutes we’d heard from someone who had the right fitting car seat they were willing to give her!! We got on the phone and between two of us, managed to get hold of her and told her to turn around.

After she came back, some of our sweet volunteers cleared out her car so we could put the car seat in correctly while she and her baby waited inside. We realized she had no AC and Cliff grabbed our portable battery powered fan from our car and another volunteer grabbed one from hers we could put in the back so the baby could get some air. We filled up thermoses with ice and gave her a cloth to wipe the sweat off her face and several bottles of water to cool herself with. We got the car neatly packed again and I tried not to think about it too hard when I asked her if she needed what looked like a random leg off a piece of furniture and she told me it was her “protection stick. I am a female, remember.” I can’t even imagine the things she has been through before this flood.

Here’s the best part. While she was there the second time, waiting for us to put in the new seat, two Red Cross officials walked in and asked about her situation. When they found out where she was going, one of them said he could make a call. 5 minutes later she was no longer going to the River Center but to Celtic – still a shelter, but one with more organization and a little more contained in terms of people.

She left in the best possible way I could have hoped and I could have prayed for. And when she texted us later and told us she’s safely arrived and was doing well, I had to smile. That sweet friend who donated that car seat didn’t just make a difference for that baby, but because she came back, that car seat also made a difference for that single mom and her baby in where they will sleep tonight.

It’s just one more example in a long string of them this week where we’ve seen that it takes many to make an incredible difference and it is an incredible difference that so many together have made.

And God continues to orchestrate all of it.

UPDATE: My husband got an update from one of our other volunteers that our single mom was doing well at the Celtic studio shelter. Her baby was put into a room that’s staffed with volunteer nurses and childcare volunteers where he has a bassinet to sleep in and be cared for and our single mom was put into a section reserved just for single women and their children where she has a bed and a place to rest. THANK YOU CELTIC STUDIOS!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Want to Help?

Today is the first day we’ve gotten word that volunteers from other states are either already on the ground here in our area or on the way. Our church has transitioned from sheltering flood victims to offering space for disaster relief teams that are starting to arrive. The help is greatly needed. If you’d like to help, there are many, many opportunities where you can. Mail IS working, so if you’d like to ship supplies, you can do so to the address below.

If you’d like to help financially, you can make out checks to First Baptist Church Zachary, and mark “disaster relief” in the memo line and mail to the address below. Everything given will be put towards helping families in our area who need help.

Some things we’re in need of as we continue with the clean-up effort:

Masks, Buckets, Mops, Brooms, Garbage Bags, Work Gloves, Mold and Mildew Removers, Febreeze, Tarps, Gift cards to Walmart and Home Depot and general Visa/Mastercard giftcards which can be put towards furniture replacement and other specific needs. Federal assistance will come for folks but it will come slowly. Thank you for giving and for any help you can offer!

Last but definitely not least: Prayer. Please be praying for our area and for all of us who have been impacted by this natural disaster. We know that the storm can seem scary when we’re in the thick of it, but there is always hope in the rays of light we see ahead. We have truly seen glimpses of the good.

Mail to:

First Baptist Church Zachary

4200 Main Street

Zachary, LA 70791

Attention: Disaster Relief

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Published on August 18, 2016 11:44

August 10, 2016

The Report Card Parents Should Care About This Year

Parents all over are smiling big, or crying big as the case may be – I’ve known your pain sweet kindergarten moms – as you send or prepare to send your offspring off for a new year of education. I’m right there with you; this morning I stood in the kitchen and prayed with my high school sophomore before he left for his first day of school today.

We’ve done this since he was a freshman.

Every morning, he puts his backpack down, I put my arms around him and lay my head on his 6’1″ chest because his 5’4″ mom is just now a lot shorter, y’all.

I pray for his day and then he prays for his day.

This time is precious and I don’t take it for granted. I always seem to picture in the back of my mind at that moment that the last day I will do this with him will be on his wedding day. MANY, MANY YEARS FROM NOW.

It’s not always so sweet, though.

Sometimes he’s running late and running out the door, rolling his eyes at me as I’m yelling out a 2-3 sentence prayer like a little Greek orthodox grandma, waving my hands towards him just in case the blessing needs a little push to reach him before the door shuts.

One day at a time, friends, it’s one day at a time.

Good Parents Start With Prayer

When he was in middle school, or junior high for those of you who call it that, I drove him to school every morning and I’d pray with him in the car. I kept my eyes open, he’d close his. Whatever had happened in the minutes before, whether we were laughing at something on the radio or me doing one too many mom checks (“did you remember that permission slip? did you get your paper that was on the counter? Did you REALLY brush your teeth?”) and getting the eye roll and huff and puff – that prayer brought us together and always focused us on what and Who really mattered so that by the time my hormonal middle schooler – yes, mamas of girls, boys can be just as bad! Whew! – got out of the car, we could look at each other and still know we loved each other.

Most days.

If you’re needing some scripture encouragement in how to pray for your kids this year, here’s a post I wrote a few years ago with a list of 10 scripture-based prayers that will help with that.

One day at a time, right?

Good Parents Use Powerful Words

When he was in elementary school, I did what I call a prayer of blessing for him each day. I started it when he started kindergarten, and he let me do it with him until the second semester of 7th grade, which was about a year and a half longer than I thought he would.

Every morning, as our car turned the corner of the street the school was on, I’d take my fist and give him a little pound on his, and I’d say this:

Listen to your teacher

Be kind to your friends

Do your very best

And remember

God loves you

And so do I.

Sometimes he’d say it with me.

Sometimes he’d just smile.

Sometimes he’d remind me when I was preoccupied and almost forgot.

One day at a time, mom.

Good Parents Evaluating Themselves

Yesterday, I moved work to the backburner and spent the last day of summer with my son.

He drove me around as we ran some errands. Yes, HE drove. Learner’s permit is in hand, and the driver’s license will be coming next spring.

We had some good conversations. And I asked him something I realized I hadn’t asked him in a while.

What am I doing that you wish I wouldn’t?

That’s a scary question to ask as a parent, right?

It makes us feel vulnerable. It gives our kids the opportunity to bring to light weaknesses we probably already know are there.

Then add two more questions to the first:

What am I not doing that you wish I would?

What can I do this year that will help you the most?

I started doing this when Caleb was in 4th grade and while I haven’t been consistent in doing it every year, I have tried to do it in some form or fashion at some point during the course of each school year, because there are some report cards that need to be evaluated that aren’t going to be sent home for a signature… but they’re probably even more important.

If you asked your child to grade you on how you’re parenting, what would they say?

Would you get an A? A C-?

Gulp.

Hopefully, your child wouldn’t give you an F.

But if they did, you have the same opportunity you do if they gave you higher marks.

You get to ask why.

Why did you give me that grade? What could I do to get a better grade? Then you have the opportunity to talk about it with your child and address those things.

Then take it one day at a time.

Evaluating Yourself Empowers Your Kids…

Now here’s the disclaimer and what some of you may already be saying because you know your child and you’re envisioning how this could go horribly wrong: this isn’t a literal evaluation that gives your child authority over your parenting.

NOPE. You’re still the parent.

This is an exercise to start a discussion.

This is not a moment to expect As from your kid and take it personal if they don’t give it to you.

You’re still the parent, remember?

If they give you an F and their reason is because last week you wouldn’t let them go over to someone’s house, that’s an opportunity to patiently and lovingly explain why you didn’t. Maybe they didn’t do their chores that you asked them to do and you’re teaching them that actions have consequences and obedience can result in rewards.

If they give you a B because they think you’re a great parent but they wish you spent more time with them, that’s an opportunity to ask what that looks like for them. It might not be what you think.

Frank Bealer is the Family Pastor at Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC, and did a recent interview on Carey Nieuwhof’s podcast about how he does all he does as a high capacity leader and one thing he talked about that I loved (and there were many great points, it’s a fantastic interview I highly recommend listening to), was how he makes sure he’s there for his kids: he ASKS what’s important to them.

His daughter, for example, recently had several dance recitals and competitions she was participating in and Frank knew he wasn’t going to be able to make all of them. He asked her which ones she really wanted her dad to attend, thinking it would probably be the bigger ones with larger audiences. It wasn’t. She told him nothing would make her happier than if he could come to the competition she had never done before, that wouldn’t have very many people, and was on a much smaller scale than other competitions she was doing – but it would mean everything to her for her dad to be there at that specific one.

Take the Parents Grading Challenge

Yesterday, my son told me the things I was doing right and the things he wishes I would do better.

He feels he can always talk to me when he has a problem.

He feels like I care about him and I want what’s best for him, even when I do things he doesn’t like – like making him finish his summer assignments instead of goofing off like he’d prefer.

He wishes I would put the phone down when he talks to me. That I’ve missed a joke he’s told or the punch line of a video he’s showing me because my attention wasn’t completely directed toward him but the email or text message I was reading on my phone.

OUCH.

This is one he’s told me before, and clearly, I need to keep working on that.

He wants me to keep checking in on him this year and ask how things are going because sometimes he won’t always voluntarily tell me.

His words.

That’s a huge statement for me as his mom, and one I need to remember and follow through with.

See, the discussion is just the start of your report card. It’s what you do with that information that will make you the A+ parent you want to be, and the parent your child needs this year.

So let me encourage you, whether you’re already beginning the new school year with your kids, or you’re in the crazy countdown of buying clothes or uniforms and supplies and gearing up.

Find, carve out, set aside, make time for some quiet one on one with your child.

Ask them how you’re doing as their parent.

Be open to their responses and don’t take anything they say personally.

Treat it as a learning time for yourself.

Apply it, knowing that you are fostering some incredible growth for your relationship with your child.

And if you don’t get an A this year?

Take some steps to get an A next year. Or next semester.

Choose one thing you can work on that you and your child have talked about.

Make an effort.

Be intentional.

And take it one day at a time.

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Published on August 10, 2016 07:10

January 5, 2016

How to Better Organize Your Attic With This One Simple Fix

One of the features I loved about the house we had when we lived in Nashville had nothing to do with the main living areas but where we stored everything else. Our walk-in attic was located right off the second floor bonus room, and any time I needed to put something away or go retrieve something, I looked forward to it. I LOVED that room! Everything was so neat and easy to organize. It just made my inner organizing nerd very happy.

A previous homeowner had floored at least half of the room which was enormous for an attic space, and ran the length of the house. There were even built-in shelves, a perfect place to keep our extra dish sets. Changing out regular dishes for Christmas ones was a snap! I never had trouble finding something, or storing things, like seasonal clothing.

Then we moved to Louisiana, and while our house here also has features we love (like my husband’s stand-alone “shop” where he does his wood-working, or the attached extra-large utility room we converted into my office), the attic is not the walk-in attic we left behind. It’s small and can be accessed only by the typical pull-down stairs that come down from the ceiling. Getting Christmas decorations down a few years ago when my husband was deployed to Afghanistan was a PAIN, and I admit it didn’t help my already Grinch-leaning bah-humbug attitude about the holiday.

In early spring, I read my friend Karen Ehman’s book The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized and she shared an idea I absolutely fell in love with (almost as much as I loved our walk-in attic) and had to share with you: numbering your attic boxes! I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before, but we’ve moved enough times in the last several years that what I DO know is I’m tired of the cardboard box/sharpie marker label scratched out with another label scenario.

If you’re going to implement this idea, I suggest using it as motivation to organize and declutter what you’ve been storing and holding onto, and set at least a few days aside to do this – or be willing to overlook your living room or other rooms looking like a yard sale or small temporary version of Hoarders for a while. If you still haven’t quite moved Christmas back yet from the holidays, this may also be the best time to organize it all at once (and probably a lot cooler than if you wait to do it in the summer).

What you’ll need:

Trash bags for those things you want to discard (that can’t be repurposed or sold in a yard sale)
A spare bin or several trash bags for those items you can sell in your next yard sale (or donated to your local thrift store)
Plastic sealable storage bags of various sizes (gallon, quart, snack)
Label maker (optional)
Storage bins with lids
Printed numbers for every box (see my free printable below)

What you’ll do:
Bring down everything from your attic.

Because of our busy schedules, my husband only brought down about 6 boxes at a time over a period of a couple of days. This was actually a blessing in disguise because I could focus on just a few boxes at a time, and I didn’t get as overwhelmed as I could have with the sudden clutter. So if you have a lot to go through, you may want to start with a few at a time. Or bite the bullet and face it all at once!

Look through each box, one at a time.

Sort out what you want to keep, what’s broken or damaged and probably needs discarding, and what can be donated or put in a yard sale. This is where a little objective perspective may be needed over a sentimental one.

For example, I pulled out a doll wearing a gorgeous handmade crocheted wedding gown made for me by a family friend after I got engaged over 18 years ago. The gown looked brand new. The doll? Like she had a fatal disease. Her hair had completely disintegrated and fallen out, with the remains now all over the rest of the box’s contents. I kept the dress. I chunked the doll. I’ll look for a new doll in the near future, preferably one with non-shedding hair.

Keep similar items together.

As you sort through each box, you may find certain things have gotten mixed over the years of packing and repacking. Put photos together (and consider finding a place in the house for them instead of the attic); collect wedding mementos, each child’s baby books and scrapbooks and clothing or small toys, high school memories, or college-related items in their own respective piles or areas. Once you’re finished sorting through all of the boxes, you’ll have a better idea of what’s going in each box.

When it comes to school artwork and papers, be EXTRA selective.

My son is starting his freshman year in high school next year, and though middle school has been drastically different in terms of how much I’ve saved from each school year (algebra homework and reading tests don’t seem nearly as sweet and endearing as popsicle Christmas trees and fingerpainted masterpieces), I still had a few dead trees worth of artwork and school work to go through from his younger days. This wasn’t helped by the fact that my organizing system during his first few years of elementary school consisted of the following: see papers, see box, throw papers in box. Put up in attic.

After digging through three large and very full storage bins and looking at every card with a set of small hands on it, printed worksheets with 2-year-old crayon scribbles and endless spelling and math worksheets, I was able to narrow it down to two much lighter bins – one mainly filled with school yearbooks, favorite pieces of school artwork and written work, childhood mementos (including his bright orange signed cast from when he broke his arm on the school monkeybars when he was 6), and the other with many of his baby things, including a one-year calendar I completely forgot I kept that has dates for all of his special firsts (and redeems myself in my own mind for feeling bad that I could never remember how old he was when he finally started sleeping through the night. 3 months.)

If you’re like me and have trouble deciding what to keep and what not to keep, here are some helpful guidelines I used that may also help you:

KEEP their words (scrawled handwritten misspelled cuteness answering questions like “What’s your favorite subject? Recess” or “Where do you want to work when you grow up? Taco Bell.”
DISCARD what’s common. Toss anything that could be mistaken for another chid’s common work. Math problems. Spelling words written ten times each. Unless you’re hoping to prove your child is a genius or mensa candidate and feel by saving every scrap of work they’ve ever done, you’ll be able to do that.
KEEP a few special pieces of art work. Maybe that book report in 1st grade that included a full size paper Thomas Edison or that sweet family portrait of stick figures including the dog and goldfish. The “All About Me” or “Star Student” poster collages. Art work that’s clearly not just busy work disguised as creative learning time.
DISCARD the rest. Unless you love abstract drawings and paintings, if you can’t make out the scribble, chances are your child (many years later) can’t either. This doesn’t make you a bad mom. This makes you an intentional mom who understands what’s meaningful. Same goes with fingerpainting. Chunk it unless it includes a good representation of your child’s hands or feet in it, or incorporates a cute polaroid or computer-printed photo of your child taken by an extra-ambitious kindergarten or elementary teacher (God bless those teachers, say all the working moms especially).

Repack your storage boxes.

Once you’ve decided on what you’re keeping, what you’re throwing away and what you’re giving away or saving for a yard sale, repack your boxes, keeping as many like items to one box as possible (but also be sure to consider the weight of your boxes too).

Label your boxes with numbers.

Once every box is repacked and ready to go back up in the attic, it’s time to label each one with a number (click here to download a PDF or a Word doc for a quick printout of numbers, 1-20). I used 2 copies of each number – one for the lid, and one for the side of the bin, using packing tape to tape them on. For Christmas boxes, I used the letter ‘C’ with numbers and for Fall decorations, I used the letter ‘F’ with numbers to make it even simpler to access.

If you want to make them cuter, you could use scrapbooking paper or colored cardstock. I just went with plain white copy paper since my office flooded the week before I began the attic organizing and everything in my office was stuffed in a spare guest room along with yard sale items I’d moved in as well. At the time, having everything clean and orderly was a lot more important to me than whether it was cute.

FREE PRINTABLE – DOWNLOAD A PDF OF NUMBERS 1-20 – DOWNLOAD CUSTOMIZEABLE WORD DOC

Create your inventory list.

Since I’m a big fan of Evernote, I created my inventory list in my Evernote account, as you can see below. But if you’re someone who loves binders, or you prefer Excel or even Word, you could use those instead. I actually have several empty boxes in my list right now, thanks to my purging and combining! I still labeled them with numbers and included them in the inventory, though; this way, when I do have additional items I want stored, I know exactly which box to grab (ahem, which box to ask my husband to grab) and it will take very little time to add a list of the contents.

Use Evernote to Help Organize Your Attic | SaraHorn.com

By the way, you can also use Evernote to take and store pictures of all of those masterpieces your kids bring home – I saw a tip the other day of how one mom keeps an Evernote notebook just for that purpose – her kids love looking at it almost as much as she does! Great idea!

Also, if you want to know how it can pay off to finally have your attic organized, here’s a true story: several months after we completed the attic organizing, my husband was about to go to a high school band reunion and twenty minutes before he needed to leave (why do men wait till the last minute for things like this?!), I caught him pulling down the attic stairs and climbing up, and I knew exactly what he was on the hunt for.

Me: (yelling from downstairs)HONEY, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR YOUR HIGH SCHOOL BAND LETTERMAN JACKET?

Him: (yelling from the attic) YEAH! DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS?

I pulled out my phone, opened my Evernote app, and searched for “Attic Inventory List”.

Me: IT’S IN BOX 7!

30 seconds later, my husband emerged, jacket in hand and a big smile on his face.

I couldn’t help but smile too. It may fit slightly different than it did when he was our son’s age, but I still think he’s adorable!

Hope these tips are helpful for your own attempt at attic organizing! What other tips have worked for you? I’d love to hear, so please share in the comments!

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Published on January 05, 2016 02:05

January 4, 2016

When is it OK to Say Goodbye?

Almost ten years ago, God gave me a mission.

Born out of my own needs and experiences resulting from the year my husband went to war for the first time, the match lit and the passion ignited. From out of those first flames, I took off on a marathon journey to make sure no other military wife might ever feel alone. I wanted her to know she wasn’t. She had God and she had other military wives too. Wives of Faith had started. Who knew it might last so long before the time came to say goodbye.

When Is It OK to Say Goodbye? | SaraHorn.com

We spread the word and on a crisp night in December of 2006, ten of us gathered at the church we attended in Nashville for an ornament exchange. We didn’t know anything about each other except that we were all military wives. Some of us were active, some of us were Guard/Reserve, some of us had husbands away or preparing to be away. All of us had concerns and needs for connecting with other ladies who might understand those concerns and needs. We found it that night and in the evening get-togethers and Bible studies and the mornings at McDonald’s with the kids that came later. We laughed and cried and learned and shared and grew.

It was wonderfully good.

When Cliff came home after his first deployment to Iraq, I hesitantly waited and half-expected that passion to fade. But it didn’t, and for the next several years, I walked with others through our individual but similar journeys… dealing with the unknowns and uncertainties of war, saying goodbye to husbands and welcoming them home, walking our children through the ups and downs and encouraging each other through the same. I was blessed to write two books for military wives, GOD Strong and Tour of Duty, and I’m touched each time I hear from a military wife who has read them. I know women whose husbands didn’t come home from war, and women whose husbands did return, but who made the choice not to come back to the home or the wives who faithfully waited for them. I counseled sweet young women who cried over broken love, and wrestled with the painful reality of husbands who didn’t know God the way they did. I met incredibly brave women who worked to help husbands with deep combat wounds seen and unseen, and through it all, I saw God pull hearts towards Him.

When is it OK to say goodbye? Wives of Faith Collage |SaraHorn.com

It was wonderfully beautiful.

I made lots of mistakes and lived out the meaning of trial and error. When I learned it would cost $3,000 to have someone else build a website in those early days of blogging and the inter-webs, I sat down and learned how to do it myself. I led a women’s ministry team when I’d never served on one myself. I started a board of directors when I had no clue what that meant or what that was supposed to look like. We grew multiple groups before we’d ever established an organization – in Tennessee, and as far away as Virginia and California – and we fumbled our way through setting ourselves up as a 501c3 nonprofit. I led our team to hold our first women’s conference in Nashville in November of 2011 – when I’d never actually attended one. Just under 30 women from 5 – or was it 7? – states attended. But no one seemed to leave disappointed. All of them were grateful to be somewhere where others “got” them, and the speaking was only for them. Then, as military tend to do, core team members began moving away. I moved away. Our ministry was now completely online and I learned how to build relationships through computer screens and this new thing called Facebook and communication through something we once knew as blog carnivals. There are women in each of these pictures I hold dear to my heart, many I’ve only seen a couple of times in person.

It was all wonderfully challenging.

Coming to a Decision

After Cliff’s third deployment, though, something changed for me.

I was tired, to be honest. Three deployments in six years can suck part of someone’s soul pretty dry, even when that someone loves Jesus. God worked in my life in a number of ways over the years and leading a team and serving through a screen became less satisfying. I loved teaching Bible study to the ladies at my church. As a reservist spouse, never having lived on or near an active base, which is certainly our situation now, military life felt distant, and after three deployments, I reluctantly welcomed the feeling. This year marks my husband’s twentieth year of service, and the plan is to retire. I never wanted to be the military spouse who left the party as soon as the cake was served, but this past fall, the question began as a whisper… is it time? Months and months passed, but I couldn’t hear God’s answer in my prayer times.

So I tried reasoning with Him.

God, if I’m not supposed to leave, than I need You to provide the answers… the people… the resources… the energy.

But the answers didn’t come. The resources didn’t show. The people didn’t materialize.

All I kept hearing was “wait.”

Don’t you love waiting? Especially when no timeline or deadline is apparent?

Me neither.

But I wasn’t a quitter.

I prided myself on finding solutions to challenges, not cutting bait to run. I trusted God. I loved our team. These are amazing women, all military wives, all serving their families, and their communities well, and they’ve all stayed loyal to the mission of Wives of Faith. I’m grateful I’ve been blessed to serve with them. But He’s finally made it clear that it’s time to finish the chapter. A new one is waiting to be written.

Now this is where you might expect the What’s Next. People never make an announcement of shutting down an entire ministry unless there’s a What’s Next announcement following right behind.

Right?

Here’s the truth. I’m not sure what’s coming next or what door God will open. A new book? I hope so. A new ministry? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve always tried to be faithful in walking where God leads me, even when it meant walking into parts unknown, like now. I also believe God never wastes what we go through. My experience may help encourage someone else in their experience. Yours can do the same.

4 Signs It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Are you struggling to make a decision? Maybe you’re a mom who feels like you’re supposed to leave your job and be home, or you’re a mom who feels like it’s time to take a job. You’re a volunteer ministry leader at your church desperately desiring to use more of your gifts than you’re using right now – but you’re scared of what that means.

Maybe the position you have right now is what you’re known for – and you’re afraid if you step away from that position, you won’t just lose the stress that gives you headaches and ulcers, but you’ll lose your identity too.

Who will you be if you’re not what you’ve been?

Consider these signs. If you’ve experienced at least a couple, it may be time to embrace a new season in your life.

(One important note to my married readers: I realize by the title of this post that some of you may have searched around online and found me because you’re looking at saying goodbye to your marriage. Please hear me when I say my heart goes out to you… but walking away from a job or a volunteer position isn’t the same as walking away from a covenant you made with your spouse and the signs listed below should not be used as an excuse to dissolve your marriage. Please check out my book, My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife or download my Love His Way devotional cards – they may help you begin the steps to reconciliation.)

1. The passion isn’t there like it used to be.

I think it was in Purpose Driven Life that Rick Warren wrote that a job won’t feel like it’s a job if it’s what you’ve been created to do. All of us can have bad days, or seasonal slumps, but if the thought of doing what you’ve done no longer excites you and a week stretches into months where you find yourself looking for anything and everything else you can do instead of what you’re supposed to do, it may be time to let someone else to lead the charge. What does get you passionate? What doesn’t feel like a job? Maybe that’s where you’re supposed to go next.

2. Life’s circumstances change.

I have a friend who hates the concept of talking about life in seasons. Maybe in certain contexts, he’s right. But I’m a big believer that life does have seasons and some come and go quicker than others. Military families certainly understand seasons. The season of deployment. The season of a new move and getting settled in a new town. Moms understand seasons too. All too quickly, our 3-year-olds turn into 13-year-olds, but the time between those years can feel long or short depending on the day.

Sometimes changes in our lives – experiences, successes, disappointments, challenges – all of it can add up to a sense that God is moving us in a new or different or unexpected direction. The year we lived in Anderson, SC where I took a job after my husband was laid off from his turned out to be a brief season for us. We got there in May and Cliff left in October for a second deployment. And by January, I’d finally admitted how miserable Caleb and I were being so far from family. After discussing it with Cliff, we made the decision to move back to Louisiana. I firmly believe God used that change, that transition, to teach me a whole lot about relationships, about God’s timing, and about listening to His voice. If I’d tried sticking it out, I would have missed out on some beautiful friendships we’ve made here where we live now.

Have you encountered a life change? A friend of mine recently gave up a dream job and ministry in order to move near aging parents to help care for them. It wasn’t an easy decision for her at all. If she’d had her choice, she would have preferred caring for her parents AND keeping her job. But it’s where God has her, and she’s trusting, as she should, that He has more in mind as she obeys and follows Him first. If God has allowed changes in your life which are raising the question of saying goodbye to something, trust He has something for you to say hello to coming very soon.

3. You are changing.

Sometimes it’s not our circumstances that change. Sometimes it’s us. Our purpose for knowing God is to glorify God, and as we grow in understanding and maturity of that knowledge, we hopefully grow and mature in other areas as well. Where once we were previously content, we may now feel restless, and though that doesn’t mean you need to up and quit your job, or resign that ministry team you’re serving on – it should be a sign for you the Holy Spirit is nudging your heart to get your attention. Where does He want you?

4. You’re afraid.

Fear can stop us in our tracks. Sure, fear keeps us from hurting ourselves – but sometimes fear also keeps us from moving forward. If a change seems on the horizon for you, but fear of what’s beyond that horizon looms larger for you than anything else that might actually come from the change, it’s time to address why you’re afraid and offer an honest analysis of whether those reasons are legitimate. A friend of mine struggled with this after learning the volunteer position she’s served in is going away. “What am I going to do next?” she said. “This is what I’ve known. This is who I am.” Even the idea of not having the title she held bothered her. I can understand where she’s coming from. After being introduced to so many groups as the founder of Wives of Faith, it feels strange to think that I won’t be introduced that way in the future.

Here’s what I do know. Our real identity isn’t ever found in a title or in an organization. It’s found in Christ. He is who I’m supposed to pattern myself after. Jesus’ purpose never changed, even when His location or the people around Him did (some loved Him, some hated Him).

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So what’s next for me? After we take the necessary steps to close Wives of Faith, shutting down the website and the social media accounts, I hope to blog more this year in this space and work on some new writing projects. I hope to continue speaking to groups, and along the way, I’ll be looking for the doors God opens and the opportunities He gives me to continue serving in my purpose – glorifying and following Him in whatever position or circumstance He places me. Thank you for your prayers and thank you for your support. If you’d like to keep up with what I’m doing, please sign up for my email list. And for additional resources, check out the articles below.

5 Ways to Know When to Walk Away from Your Ministry

4 Signs It’s Time to Leave Your Ministry Behind

Have you experienced a time in your life you had to walk away from something? How did you move forward? What confirmed for you it was the right decision?

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Published on January 04, 2016 02:15

August 28, 2015

The War Room and an interview with the mom of one of its youngest stars

If there is one thing we as believers in Christ must remember, it’s this: prayer is the greatest weapon God’s given us to use when it comes to fighting the challenges we experience in life. But most of us, if we’re being honest, never take that truth and actually apply it.

The movie, The War Room, releases this weekend in theaters everywhere, and I am SO excited about this film! My husband and I have walked through the Bible study the last four weeks with our life group at church, and we’ll see the movie with some of our group on Saturday. Produced and directed by the Kendrick brothers (Courageous, FireProof, Facing the Giants), The War Room is POWERFUL. Just the brief scenes we’ve watched through the Bible study have been touching and convicting, and if you ever needed encouragement to get back to a consistent powerful prayer life, you need to see this movie!

Take a look at the trailer:

Priscilla Shirer plays the main role of Elizabeth. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Priscilla in the past, and most of you will know from her popular Bible studies and conferences (and there’s a fun cameo by Beth Moore in there as well!). Elizabeth and her husband Tony seem to have it all – great jobs, a beautiful daughter, and a gorgeous home. But their marriage is hanging on by a thread and threatening to break completely. That’s when Elizabeth, a realtor, meets Miss Clara, her newest client, who is a prayer warrior in every sense of the word. She challenges Elizabeth to create a “war room” and a battle plan of prayer for her family. As Elizabeth begins to fight for her family the only way she feels she has left – on her knees before her holy God – Tony’s own personal struggles are revealed and he must decide if he will come back to his family.

(Fun movie trivia fact: The actress who plays Miss Clara does an amazing job – and is nowhere near the age of Miss Clara in the movie! Watch Karen Abercrombie’s interview with His Radio, and comments from all of the cast in the video below.

Alena Pitts plays Priscilla’s 11-year-old daughter, and in real life, is also her cousin. Her mom, Wynter Pitts, and I met a few years ago at a dotMom conference and have stayed in touch. It’s been fun to see all of Wynter’s Facebook updates about the movie and her daughter’s opportunities to help promote this powerful and special film.

Alena Pitts plays Danielle Jordan in the new movie, The War Room. (Photo courtesy of AFFIRM Films/Provident Films)

A powerful experience for both mom and daughter

Winter Pitts is the founder and author of For Girls Like You, and mom of War Room star, Alena Pitts. (Photo courtesy of Wynter Pitts)

In addition to being mom to Alena and her three younger sisters, Wynter is the founder of the magazine, For Girls Like You, an incredible faith-based resource for young girls and their parents, as well as the new devotional by the same name, which just released earlier this year. (If you’re the mom of a young or pre-teen girl, you need this resource!) She answered a few questions for me about Alena’s experience and what it was like as a family to be involved in the making of a movie.

How did it come about for Alena to be part of the movie? Can you give a quick summary of the character Alena plays?

Priscilla plays the role Elizabeth Jordan, the leading character in the film. During her audition process she was asked if she knew of any young female actresses that would be interested in auditioning for the role of Danielle Jordan, her daughter.

Priscilla thought of Alena, although Alena has never done any acting before! Alena is always up for an adventure and we thought it would be a fun experience to audition. They sent over a piece of the script, and we sent in a video of her doing the lines. They asked for more and we sent more. Then we didn’t hear anything for weeks! We were pretty sure she didn’t get the part considering she had no experience. Well, it turns out they were holding auditions during the weeks we didn’t hear from them and they actually chose her after seeing tons of other very talented girls!

Photo Credit: Michael Ryan / The Augusta Chronicle

Did you have any concerns as her mom about letting her take this role at such a young age (she’s 10, right?) or were you excited, or some of both? How did you and your husband come to the decision? How did you discuss it with Alena?

She is 11 now. She was 10 at the time. Yes, we had very mixed emotions! We have seen all of the Kendrick Brother’s films and we completely trust their work. We also trust Priscilla and knew the project would honor God. Really, if she were going to do a movie, this would be the perfect set up! Mostly we were concerned because we have 3 other daughters and we could not figure out how this would work for our family. The movie was filmed in Charlotte and we live in Dallas. We discussed it, but ultimately we knew this was an opportunity God had given her and we needed to trust Him with the details!

God worked everything out. It was special time for every member of our family!

Courtesy of AFFIRM Films/Provident Films- War Room Movie

What’s the experience been like? When did filming happen, what’s it been like during the in-between, how has Alena enjoyed and handled the weeks leading up to the release this weekend?

It really has been a great experience. The filming took place in Charlotte last summer. They filmed for about 8 weeks and it was very much a family affair. The directors, producers and families involved in the film all have multiple children and they were usually on set or very close by! Alena would finish a long day of filming and then ask for a sleepover or playdate with her friends! It was great and just what she needed as a 10-year-old in this new environment.

It was also fun for me as a mom to watch God work in her life. During the filming process, I was on set but very much hands off. She was working and she did it with such integrity and determination. It was amazing to get a glimpse of her character as an outsider for a change. God made it very clear to me that I am here to steward her, but ultimately she is His!

She is excited about the film and the opportunity but even at this age she realizes this experience is a gift from God. The friendships she has made have been one of her favorite parts and I have to say it has been the same for my husband and I. God has placed so many special people in our lives as a result of this experience!

Behind the scenes of the War Room movie. Courtesy alenapitts.com

Has she been bitten by the movie bug after this experience? Does she want to do more?

Yes, she loved it and definitely wants to do more! We have decided not to “chase” anything but to continue to trust God and follow His lead. I know she is praying for more opportunities!

Mother and daughter having some fun on the red carpet at the movie’s premiere earlier in August. Photo Credit: Facebook/Wynter Pitts

What’s your own personal takeaway from the movie? What are you and everyone else involved in the film praying for God to do with this?

This film has impacted me greatly. I am positive everyone will relate to the real life scenarios in this film… I certainly do. Like the key characters, Elizabeth and Tony, I think we often spend so much time fighting symptoms. We fight people and we fight circumstances, however those things are not the problem. God’s Word tells us there is a real enemy and he is working to destroy us.

This film brings to the forefront the reality of our enemy and the importance of using prayer as our weapon. Prayer is not to be treated like an after-thought – it is the most powerful tool God has given us! I was reminded, challenged and encouraged to take prayer seriously in my own life.

We are praying that people leave the theaters with a new understanding and desire to seek God in prayer. That we would stop wasting time and energy fighting things that don’t matter but we would learn to strategically fight the enemy with God’s Word.

The entire Pitts family has enjoyed the experience of being part of The War Room. Listen to this fun interview her sisters conducted with Alena. Photo Credit: Facebook/Wynter Pitts

As women, we always seem to be busy – sometimes too busy for prayer (until we really, really need it!) As a busy wife and mom yourself, have you found anything that’s helped you or reminded you to make time for prayer that might help another wife/mom as well?

Writing my prayers down has been extremely helpful. I write prayers in the notes on my phone, on notecards in my Bible, and on stickies on my mirror! We have also started making prayer time a part of our family devotions. We take time and everyone writes their prayers down and tapes it somewhere special. Teaching the kids to make prayer personal and purposeful has helped us all be more intentional and strategic about our prayers!

Don’t miss this movie

I hope you’ll make time to go see the War Room and invite your friends and family. I’ll try and share more thoughts about the movie itself next week. In the meantime, let me know if you see it! I’d love to hear what you thought!

This post contains affiliate links. For more information, read my full disclosure policy.

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Published on August 28, 2015 08:00

August 25, 2015

Encouragement Starts With Us

Photo Credit: Kmitu | Dreamstime Stock Photos

Let’s be honest. It’s not always easy to be intentional about encouraging others.

Life happens. Family responsibilities, job responsibilities, church and community responsibilities, running kids where they need to be – sometimes we find ourselves wondering more about who will encourage us, then who around our circles of influence need a little word of cheer. But as I’ve learned from personal experience, on both sides, most recently with someone encouraging me, looking for ways to encourage others should always be something we’re doing.

Here are 5 reasons why each one of us should be more intentional in encouraging others:
1. Because God wants us to encourage each other.

There are many scriptures throughout the Old and New Testaments about encouraging one another. Below are a couple I mentioned in yesterday’s post, along with one more:

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
Proverbs 12:25 – “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9 – “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”

2. Because we never know what our encouragement means to someone else.

Several years ago I started making a point to write notes to various people each week and thank them for something or let them know I was thinking about them. In this day of email and texts, cards can be rare, and I love the surprised and delighted responses I get from friends when they get a card from me. I’ve sent them to members in our Life Group at church and let them know they’re missed when they’re not around, or to a friend who is walking through a tough season. Even “just because” notes that often leave a greater impact than you’ll ever know. We never know how God will use a text, a note, or a phone call or even a little gift to make a major difference for someone else.

3. Because science also backs up reasons for why we need encouragement.

An article in Fast Company recently pointed out that positive emotions work opposite to negative emotions. When we’re fearful, anxious, or stressed, our focus narrows, our concentration is limited, and it’s harder to think clearly. When we’re feeling happy, we’re more likely to have a greater inclusive outlook on life than a self-centered one, and we think a lot better.

One study mentioned in a book called Social Intelligence discovered a leader’s emotional tone had more impact than what he actually said – if he gave bad news in warm, upbeat tones, his employees still rated the interaction positively. If he used negative tones, even with delivering good news, such as achieving a goal, the employees rated the interaction negatively, and felt bad.

If encouragement, or the lack of encouragement – even in how something is said – makes a difference for people in the workforce, I think it can definitely make a difference among our closest friends, family and fellow believers.

Richard Boyatzis, psychologist at Case Western Reserve University, explained that focusing on what someone needs to do to “fix” themselves will effectively close them down to new possibilities or ideas.

He did an experiment on college students, scanning their brains during interviews about college life. For one group, the interviews focused on positive outlooks – where they hoped to be in ten years, and what they wanted to gain from college. The other group had a negatively-focused interview where they talked about the stresses and fears of college life, struggles in their performance and workload and troubles in making new friends.

“A conversation that starts with a person’s dreams and hopes can lead to a learning path yielding that vision.” ~ Fast Company

4. Because our words are powerful – in the best and worst possible sense.

The words we speak can encourage or discourage every single day. We choose the words we say, and we choose whether we’ll encourage someone or not. In our marriages. In our friendships. With people we run into every day. We have an opportunity to impact them for better or for worse. I’ve talked about this book before, but one of my favorite books is the The Power of a Woman’s Words by Sharon Jayne. She shares a story about two households.

“I got two A’s,” the small boy said. His voice was filled with glee.

His father very bluntly asked, “Why didn’t you get three?”

“Mom, I’ve got the dishes done,” The girl called from the door.

Her mother very calmly said, “Did you sweep the floor?”

“I mowed the grass,” the tall boy said, “And put the mower away.”

His father asked him with a shrug, “Did you clean off the clay?”

The children in the house next door Seemed happy and content.

The same things happened over there, But this is how it went.

“I got two A’s,” the small boy said. His voice was filled with glee.

His father proudly said, “That’s great; I’m glad you belong to me.”

“Mom, I got the dishes done,” The girl called from the door.

Her mother smiled and softly said, “Each day I love you more.”

“I’ve mowed the grass,” the tall boy said. “And put the mower away.”

His father answered with much joy, “You’ve made my happy day!”

Children deserve just simple praise for the tasks they’re asked to do.

If they’re to lead a happy life, So much depends on you!

(Author Unknown)

5. Because all of us need a reminder of what our best is, and what it can be.

If you struggle with knowing the right things to say, or how to encourage or help make someone’s day better, use this little list to get started.

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Published on August 25, 2015 03:00

August 24, 2015

The Accidental Encourager

Photo credit: Matthewdwebb | Dreamstime

She had no idea of their value at the time…

but the words my friend shared with me one day in a simple Facebook message became my life jacket… and the encouragement I needed to convince my mind and my heart to keep going.

Ever been there?

Life’s waves pounded you one too many times.

The oars to your little rowboat are gone and you are in the ocean, drifting aimlessly, unable to set your course.

You’ve baked under the heat of stress, sat through some merciless storms, and you’ve watched sharks circle. Each one wears a name… Fear. Failure. Sorrow. Pain.

You’ve radioed for help, you’ve prayed for rescue, you’ve done all you think you can do, but still you sit, in your boat, going nowhere, when you really wish you were somewhere, anywhere, but where you are now.

Dear sweet friend, if you are nodding to any of this, I hope you know you’re not alone. I’ve been there.

This past year, I’ve walked through some health challenges, personal heartaches, and professional disappointments. I’ve experienced moments of bravehearted courage but also concessions of defeat.

Sometimes, I wanted to quit.

Words that changed everything

Several weeks ago, I messaged my friend Kimberly on Facebook and as we discussed life and careers, I shared just a sliver of the uncertainty I’ve faced.

There are a few things about Kimberly you should know. This woman is BRILLIANT. Ph.D smart. She’s worked on the administration side of Christian higher education for almost twenty years.

She’s BEAUTIFUL, inside and out. I’ve never seen her look anything but polished, and she is kind and fair and gracious to everyone.

She focuses on her BLESSINGS. She’s not perfect, she shares concerns we all do as wives and moms and women balancing so many things on our plates, but she doesn’t wallow in her worries. She always looks for the brighter side and as a result, she shines brighter too.

Kimberly and I aren’t what you’d consider close friends, though. We’re more acquaintances who have kept up with each other over the years. We both worked at the same university early on in our careers, and we were both pregnant at the same time, so I guess you could say we formed a bond over morning sickness and stretch marks and later, breast pumps and feeding schedules and trying to do it all. Those things stick with you.

I’m thankful we’ve stayed in touch, because what she said to me that day in a simple Facebook message changed my attitude at the time from hopeless to hopeful, because sprinkled in her text were words I’d become convinced were lies. She wasn’t giving me a pep talk, she was just pointing things out she’d noticed. Encouragement for Kimberly is something she does every day.

None of the things she wrote were statements I immediately agreed with. Every observation in her message, I struggled to believe. When doubt and despair surround you, your perspective can shift quickly from taking in the wide horizon of the ocean to only seeing the water in your boat that’s come in from the rain.

When doubt and despair surround you, your perspective can shift quickly from taking in the wide horizon of the ocean to only seeing the water in your boat that’s come in from the rain.

The Accidental Encourager | SaraHorn.com

However, as I read her words over and over, I realized her observations were based on when she knew me fifteen years ago, when she’d seen me at my best (and my most energetic). Like a survivor of a boat wreck, I hung onto her words, my lifejacket. I read them, I even wrote them on my bathroom mirror so I could visually remind myself of what someone else believed that I didn’t.

The Accidental Encourager | SaraHorn.com

Slowly, through her words, my lifejacket of encouragement transformed into my lifejacket of courage.

Because a friend willingly spoke light into my temporary moment of darkness, I found the will to stand up in that aimless floating boat – and I jumped.

The Accidental Encourager | SaraHorn.com

With my lifejacket of one friend’s truth pulled on around me, I swam.

I kept swimming.

Slowly and tentatively, I reached out my arms, and I kicked out my legs, and it wasn’t long before I was far away from that listless rowboat of despair going nowhere. I ignored those sharks of fear and doubt, I resolved to forget the storms behind me and I looked for what was ahead – instead of waiting for something to come to me.

God’s unending grace and encouragement

You might be wondering where God was in all of this. After all, our ultimate strength comes from Him, right? Not from others.

God was with me the whole time, I know that well. He’s the one who gave me the rowboat, who kept me from giving up completely and held me when I was tired and worn down. But He’s also the one who sent my friend and her words on a day when I needed those words the most.

Contrary to the title of this post, we know encouragement never really happens by accident, don’t we? Compliments are rarely shared by mistake, and encouragement happens when you’re intentional to give encouragement – in the words you choose, the way you encourage, even what exactly you’re encouraging someone about.

Encouragement is intentional, and we need to be more intentional about encouragement.

How are you encouraging others today? What are you doing to be an encouragement to someone else?

Tomorrow I’ll share 5 ways we can all be more encouraging to others.

Be encouraged, yourself, today.

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Published on August 24, 2015 12:23

July 30, 2015

My List of Five: Books for July

I love reading but I don’t always have as much time to read as I’d like. You too? This summer I’ve managed to finish a few books, so I thought I’d share what I’ve read – and what I’m currently reading. Maybe you’ll find your next book below!

listoffive-books-july

The Caleb Quest | Mark Atteberry

When I worked in the corporate communications area of LifeWay, we constantly had opportunities to bring home books. The retail folks passed along their samples, the church resources division shared their review copies, and I rarely turned away free books. Um, did I mention they were FREE BOOKS? I’ve hung onto this little book for YEARS – mainly because I love the name Caleb (yes, I’m a little partial) – but this summer, it was also on top of my “Read This” pile, so one day I picked it up and I’m so glad I did!

If you’ve ever had a dream that doesn’t seem to be coming to fruition, read this book. Atteberry does a great job of applying biblical truth to sort out our desires from what God’s desires may be for us.

Courageous Leadership | Bill Hybels

This past year, I’ve experienced quite a few ups and downs with ministry as I’ve wrestled with other things in my life. Fear has weighed pretty heavily in the equation. This was my second time to read this book, and it was just as encouraging as the first time.

Bill Hybels, if you’re not familiar with him, is the senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church which is located in the Chicago area. It would be hard to estimate how many churches and ministry leaders he and his church have impacted, but I would guess it is in the hundreds of thousands. In this book, he shares a lot of his own personal challenges as a young pastor starting out in ministry, but he also gives wise advice. One of my favorite sections is towards the end, when he spotlights different leadership qualities from a variety of different individuals in the Bible like David, Nehemiah and Deborah.

If you are working in a church vocation, or serving as a ministry leader in your church or other type of ministry, I’d encourage you to read this! It also makes a great gift for a pastor in your church or someone you know who serves in ministry.

A Life That Says Welcome | Karen Ehman

Something that’s been my focus for the last couple of years is finding ways to be a better hostess and opening our home to others. I’m in the middle of reading Karen Ehman’s book on my Kindle app, and it’s such an encouragement. There are wonderful tips and practical strategies to apply. If you struggle with the idea of inviting friends into your home, or you break out into a sweat at the mere thought of someone other than your immediate family coming over, than you need this book! She does a great job of breaking down what might be overwhelming to some, and establishes early on why hospitality is biblical and something we should all desire to do.

Breaking Up With Perfect | Amy Carroll

I had the privilege of meeting Amy last year at She Speaks when she was my speaking mentor, and her first book is just as open and down to earth as she is in person. I’m in the middle of reading it, and I’ve loved what I’ve read so far! All of us struggle at one time or another with the heavy burden of expectations we put on ourselves, and Amy does a wonderful job sharing her own experiences and encouraging the rest of us to not give in to those pressures! Read this book for a beautiful reminder that we don’t have to be perfect to be happy, and share a copy with a friend!

The Traveler’s Gift | Andy Andrews

One of my friends in Nashville is a huge fan of Andy Andrews and his work, and is constantly posting about him and his books on Facebook. While I don’t read a lot of fiction, (writers read what they write, which means I read a lot of nonfiction) I read his book The Noticer awhile back and just started Traveler’s Gift on iBooks (Side note: I’ve been an Amazon/Kindle girl forever, but we’re also an Apple products family, and since Apple launched the family share feature, I’ve tried buying more books over on iBooks so my husband and son can read them too – if I think it might be a book they would also like!).

Such a beautiful work with so much meaning about life! I love it when a book hits on subjects I’m dealing with in my own life, and this one definitely does that. If you’re looking for a simple but meaningful read, I highly recommend Andy’s books, starting with this one.

So… What are You Reading?

That’s what I’m reading right now – what about you? Tell me what you’re reading, in the comments – I’d love to add some new titles to my growing “Read This” pile!

*This post contains affiliate links which helps support this blog and the resources I provide for my readers. For more information, see my full disclosure policy, and thank you for your support!

The post My List of Five: Books for July appeared first on Sara Horn.

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Published on July 30, 2015 02:30

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