L.H. Nail's Blog

I have it wrapped around my wrist,
No longer tied about my neck,
There is a lung full of the past,
That I exhale with every breath,
And while I stride against the wind,
I walk with shoulders squared and strong,
I have the future in one hand,
I have had hope here, all along.

There was a shadow on my heart,
Now there is sun inside my chest,
I have a fist thrust at the stars,
I have a smile here on my lips,
There will be faith within this room,
There will be laughter in this house
There will be joy from dark to dawn,
We will move on, and love out loud.

LHNail 2015

I am broken. Exhausted. Washed out, worn out and put out. I spin where I stand. Kneel and then fall. Dissolve into pieces, and blow away in the harsh wind of indifference and disinterest. Every part hurts. Every piece, a jagged, hard cut edge. I drag them across the floor, if only to hear the sound of defeat. I scream without volume. Debate without words, but the reasons are there. The argument rest in the depths of my heart, and I am strangled by the roots of it. They twist in my gut, and suffocate my soul. I taste blood in my promises, and bile in my proclamations of love. I am devoted to a dream, and embrace smoke in trembling arms. There is no cure, and hope is a myth. But there again, I have been broken before. Perhaps it is the only means by which I am truly alive. Maybe it defines me. Shapes me. Remakes and births me again into a world of possibility. Makes me stronger. Angry. Charged with intent and vision. Hungry and running. Coming with fire and love. Full of vengeance and pride. A warrior. A woman. Broken.

LHNail copyright 2014

A little more sunshine. A lot less rain. A cool fall kiss, on that stubborn vein. Where spring was wounded and summer bled, there is life inside the author's head.

She is written in smoke. Defined by time. A lion in waiting, an errant vine. And winter calls, while fall ascends, the song is sung, the bride is wed.

I beat at that door 'til I put out the sun,
Bled faith on a page, but the ink wouldn't run,
Wrote the very last word and I sang the last song,
That we love who we love, might be true but was wrong,

So, no holding my breath, lest I hope I might die,
Wrap my heart up in lead, and I lower my eye,
Should I see what I saw, leave the wishes alone?
Let them rot in the cold, just a stain on the bone?

A gentle demise for a war fiercely fought,
Where the tides were upswept, but the moon cries for naught,
Alone in this place with the bitter and bent,
Going to tear it all down, when I find where it went,

No warmth in this flesh, not a window or door,
Just these few random words, with my heart on the floor,
And I wonder sometimes, what it is I have done,
That would put out the fire, and then lay down the sun.

Copyright 2013 L.H.Nail

Like an on-coming storm, it is loud in this quiet. Those words she won't form, are just right over head. And the thunder will roll, and the lightning will fall, and the empty will fill with those words never said.

Like the distant horizon, unattainable peace. There is blood in the sky, and tears in the sea. And the darkening brightens, the lonely unfolds, and this sound fills the silence, the truth finally told.

Copyright 2013 LHNail

Truth isn't easy. It doesn't present itself at convenient times. It isn't often flowery or delicate. No one can gauge it's impact, or lessen the blow. It leaves you vulnerable and awkward. It moves you and breaks you. Forces you to bend when you wish to remain aright. It isn't often pretty and the end result can be a loud, raucous mess.

But sometimes truth is only honesty; a slight of transition where one chooses to be seen. It comes in variations of bittersweet and can flower into beautiful. You can taste it when spoken, and feel it when heard. It bleeds in every color, and sings like Pavarotti. It moves you, and if you're lucky it can repair, reshape and recover your heart.

There is a contagious hope in the corners where confessions are made. Those letters that were written in secret become anthems to new beginnings. That split second decision to say everything, becomes a lifetime of living abundantly and with abandon. And in the end you will have done it all, honestly.


L.H.Nail copyright 2013

She's a long way gone, lost miles by miles,
Untangled herself, took the promise and ran, Stood the truth on it's head, dug in her heels and lived for everything it was worth.

Still a long way yet, wishing in gold and blue, Listening for pieces of parts that were you, And then more of that nothing, but something is still running under her skin like a river.

Just one more stride, just one more breath, To dream like that, one must dream like this, When all the dreams fade and life presses your skin, It's the truth you feel in the prison you're in.

Just one last word, one more smile, another light brush against hope, And no one knows, not one will see, what became of it when she was consumed.

Said so and the sun still rose,
the rains still came and all the world was as a lush wonderland,

I circle the center like a starving child, breathing in dreams and exhaling reality,

Waiting for an end, so it might begin and all the teeny possibilities will be woven into infinity,

Down and down again, but even the sun must lay aside its mantle, just as the moon might desire to scorch the flesh instead of only ever being a reflection of its blistering companion,

And oh how we burn, but there is quiet in this illusion of life, while the hunter stalks the land - one hand out, the other bound.

Almost free from those shadows, inching the direction of epiphany, while the prey edges this way. Closer. Said so . . .

I have been under so long. My lungs tremble for resolution. My eyes strain to see through an imperfect lens. The mire has pulled me into the realm of indifference. My limbs are utterly spent.
But something calls to me from beyond the dim. A wakefulness stirs this fractured heart. There is life out there, up and away from this tomb. Determined to breathe again, I press my hands upward. My legs thrust away from the depths. For good or ill, I am surfacing.

It was little hands, and little feet,
All night up, then all day running.
First smiles , and first words.

Year by year, we love you more.
And God in heaven knows that there is no greater, earthly joy.

Happy Birthday, baby!